Cigale Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 On 6/2/2020 at 8:25 PM, LiferButOK said: But I NEVER imagined that I should/could gently expect and accept unpleasant feelings, with the faith that they were harmless and would pass. Instead I freaked out, thinking that discomfort should be medically addressed, because it meant I was ill. That was an incorrect thought. The body is just doing its best to adapt to things. What is it informing me about?? I need to calm down and listen. I also need to remember that I like playing in waves at the beach, even when they sometimes hit me in the face or knock me down. Thank you LiferButOK. You got to the heart of my current struggle here. Plus I am going to check your link on allostatic load (and thanks to Altostrata). 2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT without issues Feb 2 - July 24, 2019 - restarted Lexapro 5 mg for insomnia July 25 - Nov 19, 2019 - Lexapro 10 mg, resulted in increased anxiety and depression Nov 20 - Dec 11, 2019 - 3-week FT from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0 Dec 12, 2019 - Feb 4, 2020 - drug-free and feeling good until horrible WD hit Feb 5 - Feb 16, 2020 - Paxil 10 mg, adverse reaction Feb 18, 2020 - reinstated Lexapro 5 mg Nov 22 - Dec 12, 2020 - transition from pill to homemade liquid Dec 13, 2020 - 4.7 mg; Jan 3, 2021 - 4.5 mg; Jan 24 - 4.3 mg; Feb 14 - 4.2 mg; March 7 - 4.1 mg daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anord Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 All of the information posted here is helping me go through withdrawal easier. A can confirm that there it the wave /window pattern but I am very confused about withdrawal normal baseline. April 1st 2019 I quit 20 MG Paxil in 3 months taper after taking it for 15 months. 90 percent of symptoms posted here on this site appeared. They were subsiding with time, more of them went away, some stayed. I was hit hard by the 10 month wave which happened in February 2020. It also passed. But what worries me the most that 3 weeks ago I received some bad news which threw me completely off balance. Immidietly after that my sleep deteriorated and in the following days I began feeling even worst, the way I was feeling in the begging 13 months ago, worst that the 10 month wave - waking up in fear 5 am, lost my appetite, feeling anxious, lost and in despair. I am having mild nausea and sweaty palms and feet, fatigue is also present. These last 3 symptoms were not present in my withdrawal till now. I was wondering if it is possible to get such a dip in withdrawal normal baseline after experiencing pretty descent progress ( frankly said, I was thinking about writing a success story) and have have new symptoms despite being for more than a year off Paxil ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Frogie Posted June 14, 2020 Moderator Share Posted June 14, 2020 On 6/7/2020 at 6:54 AM, Anord said: All of the information posted here is helping me go through withdrawal easier. A can confirm that there it the wave /window pattern but I am very confused about withdrawal normal baseline. April 1st 2019 I quit 20 MG Paxil in 3 months taper after taking it for 15 months. 90 percent of symptoms posted here on this site appeared. They were subsiding with time, more of them went away, some stayed. I was hit hard by the 10 month wave which happened in February 2020. It also passed. But what worries me the most that 3 weeks ago I received some bad news which threw me completely off balance. Immidietly after that my sleep deteriorated and in the following days I began feeling even worst, the way I was feeling in the begging 13 months ago, worst that the 10 month wave - waking up in fear 5 am, lost my appetite, feeling anxious, lost and in despair. I am having mild nausea and sweaty palms and feet, fatigue is also present. These last 3 symptoms were not present in my withdrawal till now. I was wondering if it is possible to get such a dip in withdrawal normal baseline after experiencing pretty descent progress ( frankly said, I was thinking about writing a success story) and have have new symptoms despite being for more than a year off Paxil ? Hi: I just wonder if it could be the news you received that sent you into a small wave? I had that happen to me when I had bad news brought to me after I took my last dose of Lexapro. Can you maybe try some meditation or use CBT to help? I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you feel better soon. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom37 Posted June 30, 2020 Share Posted June 30, 2020 Hi all, About 18 months have been going through this and have been slowly getting better. Still getting waves but they seemed to be milder and 3 to 5 days long followed by decent windows/baseline which are slowly getting better. However have been hit with a really horrible wave that is worse I’ve had in months and months. Probably equal to a wave I I had about a year ago. Worse part is the symptoms get so bad I can’t sleep at all because of them yet still have to function. Just need to be told that this is normal and not to stress about it. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Get concerned as the general idea is waves get milder and milder not with big waves out of nowhere. Thanks 20mg Lexapro 2007 10mg Lexapro 2012 Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3. Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction. Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October. Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018 Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov. Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted July 1, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 1, 2020 Link to my response to Tom in his Intro topic: tom37-lexapro-taper * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lithiumnomore Posted July 17, 2020 Share Posted July 17, 2020 I had a pretty rough wave the last two weeks, with a lot of concentration difficulty, anxiety and some suicidal thoughts. Part of it was feeling trapped by work and I'm taking time off starting tomorrow. I wanted to post here because following the wave this week I've been having some really clear windows. They vary through the day and I've still had symptoms at times, but when I'm at my best I've had moments where I feel 100% well. I'm in the moment, my brain is awake and my thinking is more expansive. It's like my brain is heeled. Has anyone towards the end of their withdrawal experience had windows that just felt too overwhelming? If you took someone and put them in a coma for 20 years, then woke them up, how would they react? Does anyone feel like the waves happen because we're having trouble accepting the full reality given to us in a window? 1 Current Meds/Taper: Lithium 450 mg - only drug. Tapered from 450 mg on 2/4, dropping 50 mg every 2 weeks to 300. Started having extreme insomnia after 2 weeks at 300 mg. Updosed to 350 mg on 3/24 and then back to 450 mg on 4/7. Will resume taper at 5-10%/month or slower when the time comes. Current supplements: Magnesium - Dr Best Chelated 100 mg PM, probiotic. Recent meds/tapers: Seroquel: 9/7/2020 - 25 mg up to 100 mg then tapered off rapidly to 0 mg (took for 2 weeks total) Lithium: 9/4/2020 - 900 mg, 11/20 - 750 mg, 12/15 - 600 mg, 12/21 - 750 mg, 2/11/21 - 600 mg, 3/15/21 - 450 mg Lamictal: 9/7/2020 - 25 mg, 9/17 - 50 mg; 10/1 - 100 mg; 10/13 - 200 mg, 10/23 - 300 mg, 11/6 - 400 mg, 1/15/21 - 200 mg, 4/15/21 - 100 mg, 5/13/21 - 75 mg, 5/27/21 - 62.5 mg, 6/8/21 - 50 mg, 6/22/21 - 37.5 mg, 6/28/21 - 12.5 mg, 7/7/21 - 0 mg Past meds: 2001-2010 - lithium and/or other mood stabilizers, ssris and benzos; 2011 - 2018 - lithium and adderall; 2018 - tapered lithium 900 mg to 0 mg in about 6 months, stopped Nov 2018 (no identified withdrawal symptoms), started fluoxetine @ 20 mg spring 2018 through May 2019, then tapered in two steps: May - 10 mg, Nov - 0 mg; Dec 2019 - ssri withdrawal starts, hell begins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persistente Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 I used to have waves and windows that were very easy to define. Waves lasted for a week or 2. Windows were shorter and I was full of energy like I was on something. Any dr would say I was bipolar. In a wave I was dying, in a window I felt so creative and motivated. Lately it is not so easy to define what is when. Waves are much shorter. I hope this is a good sign. 3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects 1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered) 7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues 4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision) 12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell 2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia 6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper) 9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper) waves and windows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted July 25, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 25, 2020 This is a really good way to look at waves: 8 hours ago, Katy398 said: I don’t know whether this helps but I I’ll share it anyway just in case it does. For this to be beneficial there has to be an initial belief that everyone heals eventually. With this in mind I imagine that I have a set number of waves that I am going to go through on this journey. No one knows what that number will be or how long it will take but there is a set number. Everyone who has healed had a set number of waves, too many to count but a set number non the less. So after each wave I try to visualise that I’m now one wave down and one step closer to healing. A midwife recommended this technique to me. She said to welcome each contraction rather than fear it. Each contraction will be one step toward welcoming your beautiful baby into the world 🧡.I’m not very good at welcoming waves yet but after one I always see it as a step closer to healing. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmunds Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 @Katy398 Thanks, that's helpful Fluoxetine 1997-2014, 2015, 10-40 mg. GAD and DR symptoms returned April 2013. Bupropion 2013-14, 4 mos; Lexapro 2014; Cymbalta 2014. Gabapentin 2014; Mirtazapene 2014. Buspirone 2015. Venlafaxine Dec. 2015 – May 2019, 150 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, May-June 2019 Bupropion Mar 2017 – July 2019 300 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, July 2019 Fluoxetine/Prozac May 2019 – present, tapered from 20 mg started Jan 2020, linear 10% every 4 wks.; tapered 6 to 4 mg June, 2, 2020; 4 to 1.8 mg Aug. 26, 2020; updose from 1.8 mg to 2.0 Nov. 16, 2020. Holding at 2.0 mg as of Mar 14,2021. April 14, 2021 updosed to 2.5 mg. D3 2,000 mg; Omega 3 360 EPA/240 DHA; Magnesium Chelate 250 mg; Inositol powder started Nov 12, 2020; Theanine 400 mg; cranial electrotherapy stimulation device, self-treatments started Mar 14, 2021. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Brooke Posted August 4, 2020 Mentor Share Posted August 4, 2020 On 7/17/2020 at 1:36 PM, lithiumnomore said: I had a pretty rough wave the last two weeks, with a lot of concentration difficulty, anxiety and some suicidal thoughts. Part of it was feeling trapped by work and I'm taking time off starting tomorrow. I wanted to post here because following the wave this week I've been having some really clear windows. They vary through the day and I've still had symptoms at times, but when I'm at my best I've had moments where I feel 100% well. I'm in the moment, my brain is awake and my thinking is more expansive. It's like my brain is heeled. Has anyone towards the end of their withdrawal experience had windows that just felt too overwhelming? If you took someone and put them in a coma for 20 years, then woke them up, how would they react? Does anyone feel like the waves happen because we're having trouble accepting the full reality given to us in a window? I totally get this. I was so clear in my windows that I got angry about everything that had happened to me, and I had to be careful not to let that anger push me back into a wave. Combined with the fact that the world literally looked more beautiful...it was like I was on a different sort of drug. In hindsight, what I can say about this is that the windows become less intense and more normal over time, if that makes sense. It's kind of like going back to a restaurant and eating a dish that blew your mind. Once you know what it tastes like, it's still delicious but it's not earth shattering any more. Go back 100 times, and you still enjoy it but it becomes part of your normal. Effexor XR 37.5mg and Wellbutrin XL 150mg from age 15-30 (2001-2016). Hell withdrawal. Drug free (and happy) since 2016. I am the founder Happiness Is A Skill, a weekly newsletter dedicated to helping people heal from depression by learning the skill of happiness. Join hundreds of others and subscribe here: http://learnhappy.brookesiem.com/ I wrote this for the The Washington Post: I spent half my life on antidepressants. Today, I'm off the medication and I feel all right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmunds Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 My waves and windows experience is different from that of many other members, though perhaps not rare. I'm at the tail end of my taper from Prozac, which I've been on following a bad five months or so of withdrawal from both Effexor and Wellbutrin (after my psych took me off in just 3 weeks). I did not really have waves and windows from that WD, just a gradually lessening of anxiety, crying, diarrhea, blurry vision, and other symptoms. The brain rebuilding has, however, continued as I have tapered over the past 7 months from the Prozac. For me the main symptoms are heavy derealization all the time, plus blurry vision, and on-and-off anxiety (light to moderate) throughout the day. I just went to the grocery store to shop (with mask on) and felt, as I have for these past several months, as though I'm walking up and down the aisles in a dream, a kind of invisible barrier erected between me and the world "out there." The blurry vision also continues, which aggravates the sensation of being disconnected. The derealization does not come and go in waves and windows but has stayed pretty much the same for several months now, maybe somewhat worse now that I'm down to the last few mgs. of liquid Prozac. I do all sorts of things to try to limit my frustration and discouragement. I''m grateful that I don't have other weird symptoms and nor any insomnia. Fluoxetine 1997-2014, 2015, 10-40 mg. GAD and DR symptoms returned April 2013. Bupropion 2013-14, 4 mos; Lexapro 2014; Cymbalta 2014. Gabapentin 2014; Mirtazapene 2014. Buspirone 2015. Venlafaxine Dec. 2015 – May 2019, 150 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, May-June 2019 Bupropion Mar 2017 – July 2019 300 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, July 2019 Fluoxetine/Prozac May 2019 – present, tapered from 20 mg started Jan 2020, linear 10% every 4 wks.; tapered 6 to 4 mg June, 2, 2020; 4 to 1.8 mg Aug. 26, 2020; updose from 1.8 mg to 2.0 Nov. 16, 2020. Holding at 2.0 mg as of Mar 14,2021. April 14, 2021 updosed to 2.5 mg. D3 2,000 mg; Omega 3 360 EPA/240 DHA; Magnesium Chelate 250 mg; Inositol powder started Nov 12, 2020; Theanine 400 mg; cranial electrotherapy stimulation device, self-treatments started Mar 14, 2021. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Amira Posted August 4, 2020 Mentor Share Posted August 4, 2020 Hello @Edmunds , i can reassure you that your pattern of healing is not uncommon, me and other members here experience the same pattern, no real window where all of the symptoms dissappear, but a very slow and gradual process of symptoms becoming less intense as more time pass Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 06/2016- 10/2018 ( Cold Turkey) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweet Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 23 minutes ago, Amira123 said: Hello @Edmunds , i can reassure you that your pattern of healing is not uncommon, me and other members here experience the same pattern, no real window where all of the symptoms dissappear, but a very slow and gradual process of symptoms becoming less intense as more time pass I agree totally! Definitely sounds like the prozac poison process. Went through the same thing. Things will very slowly fade back into focus. Best to look at where you were, say, a month or 6 weeks ago rather than look at it on a weekly basis. Then you’ll be able to see the progress. You WILL be over this eventually. And each day you are a day closer to healing🙂 Be encouraged Adrienne🙂 This is the best of my recollection. 20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018. Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks. It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what. so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me. Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg. The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg. The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg. I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years. No other medications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nivsch Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Question: I read now that even after tapering for some period of time and its going very well, a withdrawl wave can still come even only after some months, by surprise out of the blue, and be very hard. Can it happen also when your tapering before the wave was very slow and careful (say 1%-1.5% per week)? Because if the answer is yes its very scary. its says that no matter how slow i reduce and how well its going (?), the flashlight of the withdrawl can attack me one day without any sign before (and the wave is because the tapering)? 2010-2015 Cipramil 20-40mg. half-year break in the middle which was tough. 2015-2020 Venlafaxine 150-225 mg. Venlafaxine duloxetine cross taper details 150 for half-year then 225 for a period than stabilized in ~187.5 (1.25 pills) for 2 years than reduced to ~168.5 (1.125 pills). 3.2020 - Duloxetine 60mg. 19.05.2020 - started to taper - 59! 20.5 - 58.5. June 2020: 57. end of June - 55.5 Summer 2020: 5.7 - 54, 9.7 - 52, 12.7 - updose to 53+, 19.7 - 52.3, 26.7 - 51.8, 4.8 - 51.3, 11.8 - 50.8, 15.8 - updose to 51.0, 17.8 - 50.5, 19.8 - 50.3, 19.9 - 49.3 Autumn-winter: 7.10 - 46.8, 1.12 - 45.8, 17.12 - 44.4, 30.12 - 42.4, 21.1 - 40.8. 17.2 - 40.1, end of feb - 38.6, spring: mid march updose to 40.1, 28.3 - 38.6, 15.4 - 37.5, 14.5 - 36.8, end of may 37.5+ and after a week 39 Summer 2021: mid of june again to 36.7, end of july 39.5. 11.10.2021 - 40.7 📌 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Onmyway Posted August 5, 2020 Moderator Share Posted August 5, 2020 7 hours ago, Nivsch said: Question: I read now that even after tapering for some period of time and its going very well, a withdrawl wave can still come even only after some months, by surprise out of the blue, and be very hard. Can it happen also when your tapering before the wave was very slow and careful (say 1%-1.5% per week)? Because if the answer is yes its very scary. its says that no matter how slow i reduce and how well its going (?), the flashlight of the withdrawl can attack me one day without any sign before (and the wave is because the tapering)? Nivsch, the wave is not because of the tapering, it's because your body is healing during a wave. The important thing to remember is that even if waves do happen, you will be able to get through them, they are temporary and a way to healing. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estman Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Onmyway said: Nivsch, the wave is not because of the tapering, it's because your body is healing during a wave. The important thing to remember is that even if waves do happen, you will be able to get through them, they are temporary and a way to healing. I am experiencing such a wave right now I reduced my daily dose 3 weeks ago For a week, the withdrawal symptoms were more severe Then 1.5 weeks seemed relatively normal And suddenly, without warning, the wave started 3 days ago I already considered the situation stable Nor is it ready for such an unexpected wave I understand that the brain heals during a wave Xanax 0,5mg 1999-2019 a Xanax 0,5mg paar korda kuus, vajadusel Cymbalta 30mg 2012-25.04.2018 kitsenev 2-3 kuud,rasked sümptomid 1 nädal pärast viimast annust Amitriptüliin 25mg 25.05.18-20.01.19 ,kitsenev 2-3 kuuga, unetus, paanika-ärevus, segasusseisund, iiveldus Valdoxan 25mg 10.02.19-10.03.19, ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, Lorasepaam 10.02.19-20.02.19 vajadusel üleöö Brintellix 5mg 10.03.19-30.06.19 ,ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, hirme, segasust ja unetust, olin haiglas 1 nädal Olansapiin 5mg 01.03.19-02.08.19,unetuse leevendamiseks suureneb segasus, suureneb depressioon, tekib raske akatiisia Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,ei tööta enam, olukord ei stabiliseeru, jälle haiglas 2 nädalat Levomepromasiin 5mg 03.08.19-20.12.19 aitas magada, kuid suurendas segadust ja depressiooni Anafraniil 75mg03.08.19-15.12.19 15.12.19 , 35mg 17.05.20 , 27mg 01.01.21 16.07.21 oli päevane A19 mg 01.04.22 11mg 01.11.22 8,6mg, 01.11.23 6,5mg 01.01.24 5mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Onmyway Posted August 7, 2020 Moderator Share Posted August 7, 2020 On 8/5/2020 at 9:02 AM, Estman said: I am experiencing such a wave right now I reduced my daily dose 3 weeks ago For a week, the withdrawal symptoms were more severe Then 1.5 weeks seemed relatively normal And suddenly, without warning, the wave started 3 days ago I already considered the situation stable Nor is it ready for such an unexpected wave I understand that the brain heals during a wave The cruelty of waves is that they are sneaky. You think you've gotten through the worst of it during a window and then bam! I had a complete meltdown this week for 2 days and I have been holding for over 8 months now and feeling fairly normal most of the time. The key during the waves for me is to recognize that it's not my fault (I immediately started blaming myself) - that it's an external process out of my control and the only thing I can do is be gentle, distract and try to increase positive experiences (favourite movie, food, talk with a good friend, nature walk). Of course the trouble is that the wave makes all these actions really hard to do. So sometimes the only option is to 'grin and bear' or just 'bear' and wait with patience as healing occurs. But the good thing is waves do just wash over eventually. And that knowledge is what carries us forth really. And that reminder has been the single most important help of SA for me - the reminder that this will get better. Of course the non-drug techniques, the wonderful community, the advice (on reinstatement and sleep especially) has also been invaluable. But above all, I look at SA as a site of hope. And the most important message of hope is this wave too shall pass and wash over. Hope things are getting better. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estman Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Onmyway said: The cruelty of waves is that they are sneaky. You think you've gotten through the worst of it during a window and then bam! I had a complete meltdown this week for 2 days and I have been holding for over 8 months now and feeling fairly normal most of the time. The key during the waves for me is to recognize that it's not my fault (I immediately started blaming myself) - that it's an external process out of my control and the only thing I can do is be gentle, distract and try to increase positive experiences (favourite movie, food, talk with a good friend, nature walk). Of course the trouble is that the wave makes all these actions really hard to do. So sometimes the only option is to 'grin and bear' or just 'bear' and wait with patience as healing occurs. But the good thing is waves do just wash over eventually. And that knowledge is what carries us forth really. And that reminder has been the single most important help of SA for me - the reminder that this will get better. Of course the non-drug techniques, the wonderful community, the advice (on reinstatement and sleep especially) has also been invaluable. But above all, I look at SA as a site of hope. And the most important message of hope is this wave too shall pass and wash over. Hope things are getting better. Yes, that's right Did I understand correctly that the brain heals during a wave? Here the person wrote that the wave is not directly related to drug reduction? After dose adjustment, I usually have stabilized within 2-3 weeks. If the wave comes later, it cannot be predicted Sometimes something else triggers a wave Last time the colds up a bit and it started. If I've worked too hard, it starts Otherwise, there is work therapy, if you like it It is difficult for me to find anything pleasant during the wave As you describe it is cruel I can't get peace for a moment then, there is anxiety, despair and depression Once you have reduced your daily dose, it will take some stabilization time. How many waves do you have before you reduce again? Xanax 0,5mg 1999-2019 a Xanax 0,5mg paar korda kuus, vajadusel Cymbalta 30mg 2012-25.04.2018 kitsenev 2-3 kuud,rasked sümptomid 1 nädal pärast viimast annust Amitriptüliin 25mg 25.05.18-20.01.19 ,kitsenev 2-3 kuuga, unetus, paanika-ärevus, segasusseisund, iiveldus Valdoxan 25mg 10.02.19-10.03.19, ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, Lorasepaam 10.02.19-20.02.19 vajadusel üleöö Brintellix 5mg 10.03.19-30.06.19 ,ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, hirme, segasust ja unetust, olin haiglas 1 nädal Olansapiin 5mg 01.03.19-02.08.19,unetuse leevendamiseks suureneb segasus, suureneb depressioon, tekib raske akatiisia Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,ei tööta enam, olukord ei stabiliseeru, jälle haiglas 2 nädalat Levomepromasiin 5mg 03.08.19-20.12.19 aitas magada, kuid suurendas segadust ja depressiooni Anafraniil 75mg03.08.19-15.12.19 15.12.19 , 35mg 17.05.20 , 27mg 01.01.21 16.07.21 oli päevane A19 mg 01.04.22 11mg 01.11.22 8,6mg, 01.11.23 6,5mg 01.01.24 5mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nivsch Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 21 minutes ago, Estman said: Once you have reduced your daily dose, it will take some stabilization time. How many waves do you have before you reduce again? Even if you reduce by the smallest stair possible (0.5% =~ one bead)? There are 278 beads in one capsule pf cymbalta i take and 3 days ago I reduced 1% of my current dose (two beads) and today my body is stressed I have to do rapid walk all the time. Can it really be because of just 2 out of 278 beads? Note that i had this akhatisia sometimes even before the tapring when i was on 60mg. 2010-2015 Cipramil 20-40mg. half-year break in the middle which was tough. 2015-2020 Venlafaxine 150-225 mg. Venlafaxine duloxetine cross taper details 150 for half-year then 225 for a period than stabilized in ~187.5 (1.25 pills) for 2 years than reduced to ~168.5 (1.125 pills). 3.2020 - Duloxetine 60mg. 19.05.2020 - started to taper - 59! 20.5 - 58.5. June 2020: 57. end of June - 55.5 Summer 2020: 5.7 - 54, 9.7 - 52, 12.7 - updose to 53+, 19.7 - 52.3, 26.7 - 51.8, 4.8 - 51.3, 11.8 - 50.8, 15.8 - updose to 51.0, 17.8 - 50.5, 19.8 - 50.3, 19.9 - 49.3 Autumn-winter: 7.10 - 46.8, 1.12 - 45.8, 17.12 - 44.4, 30.12 - 42.4, 21.1 - 40.8. 17.2 - 40.1, end of feb - 38.6, spring: mid march updose to 40.1, 28.3 - 38.6, 15.4 - 37.5, 14.5 - 36.8, end of may 37.5+ and after a week 39 Summer 2021: mid of june again to 36.7, end of july 39.5. 11.10.2021 - 40.7 📌 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estman Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 8 minutes ago, Nivsch said: Even if it reduced by the smallest stare possible (0.5% =~ one bead)? There are 278 beads in one capsule pf cymbalta i take and 3 days ago I reduced 1% (two beads) and today my body is stressed I have to do rapid walk all the time today. Can it really be because of just 2 out of 278 beads? Note that i had this akhatisia sometimes even before the tapring when i was on 60mg. possible I also took cymbalta less years ago, somewhere around 30mg a day when I reduced my dose, I became very tired and weak for 3-4 days I do not remember akathisia, aknathisia occurred when I reduced Amitriptyline Xanax 0,5mg 1999-2019 a Xanax 0,5mg paar korda kuus, vajadusel Cymbalta 30mg 2012-25.04.2018 kitsenev 2-3 kuud,rasked sümptomid 1 nädal pärast viimast annust Amitriptüliin 25mg 25.05.18-20.01.19 ,kitsenev 2-3 kuuga, unetus, paanika-ärevus, segasusseisund, iiveldus Valdoxan 25mg 10.02.19-10.03.19, ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, Lorasepaam 10.02.19-20.02.19 vajadusel üleöö Brintellix 5mg 10.03.19-30.06.19 ,ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, hirme, segasust ja unetust, olin haiglas 1 nädal Olansapiin 5mg 01.03.19-02.08.19,unetuse leevendamiseks suureneb segasus, suureneb depressioon, tekib raske akatiisia Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,ei tööta enam, olukord ei stabiliseeru, jälle haiglas 2 nädalat Levomepromasiin 5mg 03.08.19-20.12.19 aitas magada, kuid suurendas segadust ja depressiooni Anafraniil 75mg03.08.19-15.12.19 15.12.19 , 35mg 17.05.20 , 27mg 01.01.21 16.07.21 oli päevane A19 mg 01.04.22 11mg 01.11.22 8,6mg, 01.11.23 6,5mg 01.01.24 5mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nivsch Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 If only 2 out of 200+ beads are so significant and causing those symptoms, so at least there are good news in it and it means that the brain does a significant upregulation work and build the improvement we will feel after that(?) 2010-2015 Cipramil 20-40mg. half-year break in the middle which was tough. 2015-2020 Venlafaxine 150-225 mg. Venlafaxine duloxetine cross taper details 150 for half-year then 225 for a period than stabilized in ~187.5 (1.25 pills) for 2 years than reduced to ~168.5 (1.125 pills). 3.2020 - Duloxetine 60mg. 19.05.2020 - started to taper - 59! 20.5 - 58.5. June 2020: 57. end of June - 55.5 Summer 2020: 5.7 - 54, 9.7 - 52, 12.7 - updose to 53+, 19.7 - 52.3, 26.7 - 51.8, 4.8 - 51.3, 11.8 - 50.8, 15.8 - updose to 51.0, 17.8 - 50.5, 19.8 - 50.3, 19.9 - 49.3 Autumn-winter: 7.10 - 46.8, 1.12 - 45.8, 17.12 - 44.4, 30.12 - 42.4, 21.1 - 40.8. 17.2 - 40.1, end of feb - 38.6, spring: mid march updose to 40.1, 28.3 - 38.6, 15.4 - 37.5, 14.5 - 36.8, end of may 37.5+ and after a week 39 Summer 2021: mid of june again to 36.7, end of july 39.5. 11.10.2021 - 40.7 📌 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmunds Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 Thanks for the encouragement to @Amira123 and @Tweet. I would have replied sooner, but I did not see email notifications as I usually do. It's interesting that I stopped taking Prozac once before, in 2015, with a very fast taper (psych endorsed) but did not experience much WD that I can recall. I must keep in mind, though, that I also switched over to Lexapro and then Cymbalta for fairly short periods, which probably blunted any WD. I've been on the Prozac taper since January 2020 without any clear line of improvement, and then a worsening of distress and blurred vision symptoms during the past 5 weeks when I went down from 6 to 4 mg. I don't have pronounced waves and windows, though I have occasional days when I think an upward trend is starting--though doesn't. I'm thinking that even though I have been off Effexor since May 2019 (way too fast WD) and got through 5 tough months of WD, my brain is still rebuilding from 3.5 years on Effexor and Wellbutrin. I would also like to ask how much of my various forms of distress might just be consequences of the fact that I was on ADs most of the time for the past 33 years. My brain is therefore working overtime. Fluoxetine 1997-2014, 2015, 10-40 mg. GAD and DR symptoms returned April 2013. Bupropion 2013-14, 4 mos; Lexapro 2014; Cymbalta 2014. Gabapentin 2014; Mirtazapene 2014. Buspirone 2015. Venlafaxine Dec. 2015 – May 2019, 150 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, May-June 2019 Bupropion Mar 2017 – July 2019 300 mg, tapered to 0 in 3 weeks, July 2019 Fluoxetine/Prozac May 2019 – present, tapered from 20 mg started Jan 2020, linear 10% every 4 wks.; tapered 6 to 4 mg June, 2, 2020; 4 to 1.8 mg Aug. 26, 2020; updose from 1.8 mg to 2.0 Nov. 16, 2020. Holding at 2.0 mg as of Mar 14,2021. April 14, 2021 updosed to 2.5 mg. D3 2,000 mg; Omega 3 360 EPA/240 DHA; Magnesium Chelate 250 mg; Inositol powder started Nov 12, 2020; Theanine 400 mg; cranial electrotherapy stimulation device, self-treatments started Mar 14, 2021. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nivsch Posted August 8, 2020 Share Posted August 8, 2020 Do you guys feel (and have felt) an improvement in your mental health at the end of every reduction-and-hold cycle relatively to the end of the previous cycle? Of course can't be linear but as a clear trend. Can you tell with even a graph if you have? I'm so curious about it. Cycle = 4 days in the shortest case to 6 weeks to many weeks... Reduction = A fraction of a percent in the smallest case to 10% in the biggest. 2010-2015 Cipramil 20-40mg. half-year break in the middle which was tough. 2015-2020 Venlafaxine 150-225 mg. Venlafaxine duloxetine cross taper details 150 for half-year then 225 for a period than stabilized in ~187.5 (1.25 pills) for 2 years than reduced to ~168.5 (1.125 pills). 3.2020 - Duloxetine 60mg. 19.05.2020 - started to taper - 59! 20.5 - 58.5. June 2020: 57. end of June - 55.5 Summer 2020: 5.7 - 54, 9.7 - 52, 12.7 - updose to 53+, 19.7 - 52.3, 26.7 - 51.8, 4.8 - 51.3, 11.8 - 50.8, 15.8 - updose to 51.0, 17.8 - 50.5, 19.8 - 50.3, 19.9 - 49.3 Autumn-winter: 7.10 - 46.8, 1.12 - 45.8, 17.12 - 44.4, 30.12 - 42.4, 21.1 - 40.8. 17.2 - 40.1, end of feb - 38.6, spring: mid march updose to 40.1, 28.3 - 38.6, 15.4 - 37.5, 14.5 - 36.8, end of may 37.5+ and after a week 39 Summer 2021: mid of june again to 36.7, end of july 39.5. 11.10.2021 - 40.7 📌 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estman Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 On 8/7/2020 at 2:55 PM, Onmyway said: The cruelty of waves is that they are sneaky. You think you've gotten through the worst of it during a window and then bam! I had a complete meltdown this week for 2 days and I have been holding for over 8 months now and feeling fairly normal most of the time. The key during the waves for me is to recognize that it's not my fault (I immediately started blaming myself) - that it's an external process out of my control and the only thing I can do is be gentle, distract and try to increase positive experiences (favourite movie, food, talk with a good friend, nature walk). Of course the trouble is that the wave makes all these actions really hard to do. So sometimes the only option is to 'grin and bear' or just 'bear' and wait with patience as healing occurs. But the good thing is waves do just wash over eventually. And that knowledge is what carries us forth really. And that reminder has been the single most important help of SA for me - the reminder that this will get better. Of course the non-drug techniques, the wonderful community, the advice (on reinstatement and sleep especially) has also been invaluable. But above all, I look at SA as a site of hope. And the most important message of hope is this wave too shall pass and wash over. Hope things are getting better. Do you have dreams different during the wave? I have a struggle or escape with content dreams They are usually relatively abstract and confusing I usually wake up several times a night and have several different dreams Does this mean that the brain is still adapting and stabilizing Or is it caused by the drug itself? There are also indigestion at night It seems to me that an evening dose of medication causes them Xanax 0,5mg 1999-2019 a Xanax 0,5mg paar korda kuus, vajadusel Cymbalta 30mg 2012-25.04.2018 kitsenev 2-3 kuud,rasked sümptomid 1 nädal pärast viimast annust Amitriptüliin 25mg 25.05.18-20.01.19 ,kitsenev 2-3 kuuga, unetus, paanika-ärevus, segasusseisund, iiveldus Valdoxan 25mg 10.02.19-10.03.19, ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, Lorasepaam 10.02.19-20.02.19 vajadusel üleöö Brintellix 5mg 10.03.19-30.06.19 ,ei stabiliseerinud olukorda, hirme, segasust ja unetust, olin haiglas 1 nädal Olansapiin 5mg 01.03.19-02.08.19,unetuse leevendamiseks suureneb segasus, suureneb depressioon, tekib raske akatiisia Cymbalta 30mg 30.06.19-01.08.19,ei tööta enam, olukord ei stabiliseeru, jälle haiglas 2 nädalat Levomepromasiin 5mg 03.08.19-20.12.19 aitas magada, kuid suurendas segadust ja depressiooni Anafraniil 75mg03.08.19-15.12.19 15.12.19 , 35mg 17.05.20 , 27mg 01.01.21 16.07.21 oli päevane A19 mg 01.04.22 11mg 01.11.22 8,6mg, 01.11.23 6,5mg 01.01.24 5mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lithiumnomore Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 On 8/4/2020 at 1:17 AM, Brooke said: I totally get this. I was so clear in my windows that I got angry about everything that had happened to me, and I had to be careful not to let that anger push me back into a wave. Combined with the fact that the world literally looked more beautiful...it was like I was on a different sort of drug. In hindsight, what I can say about this is that the windows become less intense and more normal over time, if that makes sense. It's kind of like going back to a restaurant and eating a dish that blew your mind. Once you know what it tastes like, it's still delicious but it's not earth shattering any more. Go back 100 times, and you still enjoy it but it becomes part of your normal. Thanks. This is a nice description of what I'm experiencing. I've also wondered if the waves are just my brain/mind reacting to more intense experiences. It feels like I'm just kind of overloaded. Sorry if you have this somewhere, but how long did your waves last after discontinuation. I'm especially interested considering the similarity of what you described to my experiences. Current Meds/Taper: Lithium 450 mg - only drug. Tapered from 450 mg on 2/4, dropping 50 mg every 2 weeks to 300. Started having extreme insomnia after 2 weeks at 300 mg. Updosed to 350 mg on 3/24 and then back to 450 mg on 4/7. Will resume taper at 5-10%/month or slower when the time comes. Current supplements: Magnesium - Dr Best Chelated 100 mg PM, probiotic. Recent meds/tapers: Seroquel: 9/7/2020 - 25 mg up to 100 mg then tapered off rapidly to 0 mg (took for 2 weeks total) Lithium: 9/4/2020 - 900 mg, 11/20 - 750 mg, 12/15 - 600 mg, 12/21 - 750 mg, 2/11/21 - 600 mg, 3/15/21 - 450 mg Lamictal: 9/7/2020 - 25 mg, 9/17 - 50 mg; 10/1 - 100 mg; 10/13 - 200 mg, 10/23 - 300 mg, 11/6 - 400 mg, 1/15/21 - 200 mg, 4/15/21 - 100 mg, 5/13/21 - 75 mg, 5/27/21 - 62.5 mg, 6/8/21 - 50 mg, 6/22/21 - 37.5 mg, 6/28/21 - 12.5 mg, 7/7/21 - 0 mg Past meds: 2001-2010 - lithium and/or other mood stabilizers, ssris and benzos; 2011 - 2018 - lithium and adderall; 2018 - tapered lithium 900 mg to 0 mg in about 6 months, stopped Nov 2018 (no identified withdrawal symptoms), started fluoxetine @ 20 mg spring 2018 through May 2019, then tapered in two steps: May - 10 mg, Nov - 0 mg; Dec 2019 - ssri withdrawal starts, hell begins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Brooke Posted August 22, 2020 Mentor Share Posted August 22, 2020 On 8/20/2020 at 6:30 AM, lithiumnomore said: Thanks. This is a nice description of what I'm experiencing. I've also wondered if the waves are just my brain/mind reacting to more intense experiences. It feels like I'm just kind of overloaded. Sorry if you have this somewhere, but how long did your waves last after discontinuation. I'm especially interested considering the similarity of what you described to my experiences. It's hard to say exactly, because 4 years later, waves still come because life still happens. The difference now is that they are few, far between, and generally less intense. I regard them much more as a signal that something is off in my life rather than a direct discontinuation response. I can also "feel" them coming rather than have one hit me out of nowhere. I'd say it took about a year for me to feel "in control" of the waves. And by that I mean that they didn't scare me anymore, and my attitude was more of "put on your seatbelt, here we go again" rather than "oh no, what if this never ends and this is who I am forever?" Once I accepted them as part of the situation, they didn't have as much of a handle on me and I was able to work and live through them in a more productive and nurturing way. 1 Effexor XR 37.5mg and Wellbutrin XL 150mg from age 15-30 (2001-2016). Hell withdrawal. Drug free (and happy) since 2016. I am the founder Happiness Is A Skill, a weekly newsletter dedicated to helping people heal from depression by learning the skill of happiness. Join hundreds of others and subscribe here: http://learnhappy.brookesiem.com/ I wrote this for the The Washington Post: I spent half my life on antidepressants. Today, I'm off the medication and I feel all right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted August 22, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 22, 2020 6 hours ago, Brooke said: "put on your seatbelt, here we go again" 💜 1 * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persistente Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 On 8/4/2020 at 7:17 AM, Brooke said: In hindsight, what I can say about this is that the windows become less intense and more normal over time, if that makes sense. It's kind of like going back to a restaurant and eating a dish that blew your mind. Once you know what it tastes like, it's still delicious but it's not earth shattering any more. Go back 100 times, and you still enjoy it but it becomes part of your normal. i have a feeling that my windows are becoming more normal...i have always taught that i felt too good in windows 21 hours ago, Brooke said: I'd say it took about a year for me to feel "in control" of the waves. And by that I mean that they didn't scare me anymore, and my attitude was more of "put on your seatbelt, here we go again" rather than "oh no, what if this never ends and this is who I am forever?" Once I accepted them as part of the situation, they didn't have as much of a handle on me and I was able to work and live through them in a more productive and nurturing way. thank you for this...i still need to learn this... 3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects 1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered) 7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues 4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision) 12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell 2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia 6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper) 9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper) waves and windows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lostinwonderland Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 (edited) The average range for your first window How long does it usually on average take to see your first window? See i have been going through this since February so about 7 months and no wave, constant derealization no appetite etc Edited August 24, 2020 by ChessieCat added topic title January -February celexa 40mg for 11 days. Adverse reaction cold turkey April-May Zoloft for 30 days cold turkey. No further meds since then Symptoms No appetite Dpdr Vision impairment Cognitive impairment Severe memory lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted August 26, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 26, 2020 On 8/24/2020 at 4:45 PM, Lostinwonderland said: The average range for your first window How long does it usually on average take to see your first window? See i have been going through this since February so about 7 months and no wave, constant derealization no appetite etc There is no rule to windows and waves. There are so many variables. Have you tried keeping a symptom diary? When we are feeling awful, we always feel awful, even if we fell a tiny bit better than we did yesterday. Keeping a diary can help you to be objective (facts) rather and subjective (feelings) and you might be able to see some improvement that you don't feel. Also it is better to compare how you are now to how you were at your worst, not how you were feeling at your best or how you want to feel. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted August 26, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 26, 2020 On 8/23/2020 at 3:00 AM, Brooke said: I'd say it took about a year for me to feel "in control" of the waves. And by that I mean that they didn't scare me anymore, and my attitude was more of "put on your seatbelt, here we go again" rather than "oh no, what if this never ends and this is who I am forever?" Once I accepted them as part of the situation, they didn't have as much of a handle on me and I was able to work and live through them in a more productive and nurturing way. I've just quoted your post to another member and that member and another one have both reacted positively to it. I've also posted the quote of it in the best-of-sa-favourite-advice-and-insights 1 * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Brooke Posted August 26, 2020 Mentor Share Posted August 26, 2020 On 8/23/2020 at 11:45 PM, Lostinwonderland said: The average range for your first window How long does it usually on average take to see your first window? See i have been going through this since February so about 7 months and no wave, constant derealization no appetite etc I'd also like to point out that the first window, or maybe the first 1000 windows, could literally last for a moment or two. Then maybe you get a window for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then one day you watch an entire episode of Friends and realize that for 22 minutes, you didn't feel awful. That's a window! Celebrate it! Often, I think we can confuse windows will be this bright shining light coming down from the heavens that will bathe you in peace and happiness. And while that can happen (I have experienced it), I find that windows are more like bits of day to day normalcy where you chug along, not focusing on your symptoms. They're a lot less dramatic than waves, so it's easy to dismiss them. 2 Effexor XR 37.5mg and Wellbutrin XL 150mg from age 15-30 (2001-2016). Hell withdrawal. Drug free (and happy) since 2016. I am the founder Happiness Is A Skill, a weekly newsletter dedicated to helping people heal from depression by learning the skill of happiness. Join hundreds of others and subscribe here: http://learnhappy.brookesiem.com/ I wrote this for the The Washington Post: I spent half my life on antidepressants. Today, I'm off the medication and I feel all right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naczoz Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 Well for me its been two years since I quit ssris and I dont have any waves or windows. Just constant genital numbness, ed, and no libido. How cool is that? 01.12.2018 - 01.03.2019 - Took sertraline and than fluvosamine for major depression. Got SEVERE PSSD (no libido, no erections, pleasureless orgasma, total genital anesthesia, emotional numbness, lost of personality) No wave and windows, no improvement so far. Just lije 1-2% in numbness in first two months post quitting. Im suicidal because of pssd. I dont believe in recovery since my state didnt improve in any significant way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted August 26, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Naczoz said: Well for me its been two years since I quit ssris and I dont have any waves or windows. Just constant genital numbness, ed, and no libido. How cool is that? What about other symptoms? Have they improved at all? You might be so focused on your numbness and not having any libido that you may have missed noticing improvement in your other symptoms. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naczoz Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 I don't feel any difference. Still can't laugh, can't cry, can't love, empathise with people. And beside this - can't have sex. It's been two years - how can I believe in recovery? How can I have hope and will to live? 01.12.2018 - 01.03.2019 - Took sertraline and than fluvosamine for major depression. Got SEVERE PSSD (no libido, no erections, pleasureless orgasma, total genital anesthesia, emotional numbness, lost of personality) No wave and windows, no improvement so far. Just lije 1-2% in numbness in first two months post quitting. Im suicidal because of pssd. I dont believe in recovery since my state didnt improve in any significant way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted August 26, 2020 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 26, 2020 We have members here who have recovered. I did a search in the Success Stories forum for PSSD. This is the result of the search. There are also some posts in this topic of members who have recovered/improved. pssd-post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts