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  2. I will probably go real slow then when I get under 4mg. I'm hoping to get low enough so I won't be so tired. And it seems that I can't tolerate the heat like I use to before these pills. I've been feeling sick at work when it's so hot. I see that you took Lexapro and went to the ER. Something similar happened to me, when I took only one. I had what they called an adverse reaction to it, that was when my panic attacks started and I got hooked on the Ativan after just a few weeks on them.
  3. Today
  4. Just to reply to Peng. I have no doubt that PPI's can help some people, a bit like SSRI's might even help SOME people, just not me. You sound like the kind of person who has benefitted from PPI's, given your description of everything tried before then. Just to be clear, I had almost no depressive illness before I was drugged, just mild situational depression at most for which I never went to the GP's about. It was the Paroxetine that I now know induced the severe life shattering depression when I first tried to come off it in 1999. Then I was just left on it for another 16 years ('showing I needed to take it') until I finally disastrously took myself off far too quickly, long ago having lost any trust in the doctors. I now know that my entire adult life's destruction was largely down to the drug. Obviously my childlike mentality wasn't great, with the preexisting OCD perfectionism and immaturity, and this was the case before I was drugged when I was after all still a child, but I was LIVING life, enjoying life, had my whole life ahead of me. Whenever I now try to tell a health professional that it was the drug that massively exaggerated the problems that I already had before I was drugged, as well as throwing me into the most severe depression imaginable, I just get a blank stare, as if this simply just doesn't compute, being repeatedly politely told 'what does it matter what led you to where you are'? A few years into the severe depression all the gastro sensitivities began, interestingly at the same time as the severe numbness was just starting to reduce slightly, as I was just starting to 'sensitise' more generally as I would call it. I now believe this was down to significant receptor down regulation, rewiring around the enormous chemical imbalance that the drug induced severe depression had caused. It's just that this adaptation had significant physical as well as psychological consequences; I became much more volatile as the years went on as I cycled much more frequently between numbness and 'feeling' more (crackers). I know that this is all just a theory. Anyway my diet was hugely restricted to very bland simple foods and water, and I was now pretty physically unwell. That's when the PPI's were thrown at me. My carer mum quickly learnt to know when I was taking the Omeprazole (it became intermittent) as I was always even more crackers/argumentative when doing so. She would say 'you're on the Omeprazole again aren't you' due to me being even more snappy than usual. The same effect would happen after what I would term an indulgence, a plesureless sexual release with the anorgasmia that existed for the entire time I took it, rather cruelly replaced by PGAD now. Combine the two and an almighty argument was all but guaranteed. There are plenty of people in Newcastle who fit the description of the hard man, it's just that my dad was never one of them. He was born in Edinburgh, grew up in Nottingham and eventually settled here marrying my mum, a child like naive loving judgemental mother fleeing the Soviet Bloc.
  5. Happy2Heal, i understand everything your saying. Absolutely boggles the mind.. I have to almost live in my own little bubble otherwise i find all the chaos of this blissfully ignorant society too much to handle! Anyway, I'm glad that theres others who can see the truth in it all. Like you said we only have one EARTH and if we don't look after that, well nothing else really matters.. Anyway , back on topic - For me, I'm fortunate, as at times, if i wanted or felt the need to eat fish, i would do so by going diving/spearfishing off my beach at home. I could select exactly what fish i wanted and i would always be respectful of the process. Right now, I'm not eating fish. I don't want to and i don't think i need to either. I truly think this Algal Omega-3 is something for you to take into consideration. I will do further research regarding the topic, but as far as i can tell so far, there is no benefit in eating fish or taking fish derived omega-3 over the Algal form. At the end of the day, the Algae is the original source, so why not go straight to it.. Just my thoughts..
  6. Just to say that for those of us in the UK there is a new one hour BBC Panorama TV documentary airing this Wednesday the 26th of July 2017 on BBC1 at 9PM. This could well end up on YouTube afterwards as well, if the past Panorama's on what they called "The Seroxat Scandal" are anything to go by. There was also an accompanying article in The Sunday Times today on Sunday the 23rd of July 2017. The program is advertised as focusing on the violence that SSRI's can induce amongst other things, focusing on one of the recent mass shootings in the US, perpetrated by somebody who'd just been prescribed an SSRI, if I followed/can remember the TV advert correctly. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08zjyp1
  7. There are these awesome spreadsheets that a member made for us to use, and that Scallywag and others link to in their signature however, the spead sheets are not working properly not sure who can fix them https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=1079418909
  8. Yesterday
  9. I am assuming that you have reinstated. Whenever you make a change please update your signature with the date and dose so it remains current and we can see your drug history at a glance. Thank you. Under the Less Common side effects you can find increased sweating: https://www.drugs.com/sfx/lexapro-side-effects.html Sweating is also a withdrawal symptom - #31 on this list of withdrawal symptoms Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist And this is a discussion on SA: body-temperature-dysregulation-fever-chills-shivering-too-hot-too-cold
  10. Here is the link to SA's topic which is 6 pages long!!! brain-fog-blank-mind-comprehension-cognitive-and-memory-problems
  11. If you click on the TAGS (zyprexa & olanzapine) at the top of your page it will bring up links to other members who are tapering this drug (and have the same tag).
  12. Hi, Is sweating all night long a side effect of Lexapro withdrawal or have I just completely lost it?
  13. Hi Utah49, I'm very sorry to read your story, it sounds like are currently going through a lot. I have been through something similar and wanted to add my suggestions because I hate to see you suffer needlessly. Just remember though, they are only suggestions, and you have been getting a lot of different suggestions. So perhaps mull them all over and come up with the best plan for you. I went off an anti-depressant cold turkey, ouch! Then I reinstated, still ouch. At that time I was prescribed gabapentin which is similar to Pregabalin. Here's where the similarities come in. I tried to go off the gabapentin with my first drop being 30% of the dose. Oh what a flippin' nightmare. I had to reinstate. It felt somewhat like WD but with a heavy dose of the flu, and tremors. Ok, you get the idea, it was bad. I hear you about the cost of the Pregabalin. Is it possible to maybe afford it for another two or three months only and perhaps do a taper during that time? Or perhaps don't decide right away, just do a small taper with what you have left and see how you feel? If you get a reaction then you know how difficult it will be for you, and at that time you may look at extending your prescription a little differently. I have learned that whatever I do, I must do it very slowly otherwise the symptoms are horrible. I do hear you though about the financial pressure, what an awful choice to have to make. Whatever you decide to do, please know we are rooting for you, no judgement, just support.
  14. Thanks for helping out with that information, herewego. This is the link: herewego: too large of a cut - should I go back up?
  15. Yes Brass, I totally agree. And it has a name, too. Stinking Thinking. There is plenty of information on the web about how to deal with Stinking Thinking. Here was a fun way that I found: http://idontstink.com/downloads/bonus/stinkin_thinkin_stinks.pdf The main page of this site http://www.idontstink.com/ has a fun video explaining Stinking Thinking. He then goes on to mention his book but the video helps in understanding what Stinking Thinking actually is.
  16. Peep and smiley face. Doing well. Busy week. Stormy today......wind and so far no rain. Holiday tomorrow..........sort of.........state holiday. Hot. I have, I think, acclimated though. I think I am going to do the class thing, teach it in a halfway house. The stipend covers gas......barely. Good opportunity though. Beginning stages of planning for a "peer run" something or other here too. I am excited to partake and learn, grow, etc. First meeting was great. No glasses ordered.......yet ........so I just went ahead and got some new readers. I have a little farsightedness too.........first time. Holding on classwork until September, I think, I keep getting other stuff that comes up to do........and maybe I can just go in and work with my "guidance counselor", lol, and learn enough........I think the class will be good and if I get stuck then will go on in, and ask for help from a "real life" person..........as the class is all online. Sunday ahhh ness once again. Maybe Monday ahh ness too. Yet, I am a weekend worker or pretend to be. House and yard and that stuff. I pretend a lot. Read the paper. Watch some shows or listen to my favorite radio. Visit. Plan............yes, plan on how I am going to do some projects soon enough. I am doing projects. Reading books too. Went to the bookstore even. Comedic Dr. appointments........he was out for an death in the family, and then unexpectedly still out on my rescheduled appt. Maybe next week? It's all worked out okay though. I think the weird erythema multiforme is past........I just have questions and will request once again old records. He lost his assistant though so maybe I should offer to retrieve them myself or something.......the desk staff is sort of.......kind of........well, dumb. I have been trying to train them.........not something I should be doing but they are easily entertained anyway. Pacing myself. Wish.....I wish an Inipi was in the cards before my 60th and travel. It's kind of okay as I sauna daily in the dry heat in my black car(with A/C). It's just not totally the same though........well, not at all. I, however, sweat clean. Fell back a bit on my quadathalon with the weird illness.........will definitely focus on the every other day something for next week. No fresh water swimming.......yet. Another wildfire last weekend. Yoga poses only. Stretches. Deer friends daily. Babies came and were frolicking. A couple of bucks who now kind of scare me every once in awhile........snorters.......they play too though. Sheesh. I just make noise when I go out. We have a healthy respect I think. They run if they hear me usually. I don't know what else but wanted to just update. It's been a bit. Love, peace, healing/recovery, and growth at any age in blue....... Best, manymoretodays
  17. Yes, very funny Brass! However I did learn drums for 5 years And thanks for your thoughts H2H. It is nice to know that others also have similar problems. My girlfriends and I find the same thing when we chat. It reminds me of when the children were babies how talking with other mothers made you feel better.
  18. herewego, Thanks for the instructions. I will look into the liquid taper when time to go lower. It seems like it would work well for such a tiny amount. I agree with you that I feel so much better since adjusting to the very low dosage I find myself at now. The "dulled" effect and the "melancholy" are now gone. The whole time on olanzapine, I had no zest for life. My happiness was gone. I was not depressed, I just wasn't happy if that makes sense. I feel the reason I am doing so well on this taper is the length of time I have stayed at each dose. When dropping under 2.5 mgs, a depression came on. I was positive it was caused from the drop and I rode it out. I was right...it lifted and I've felt more myself every single day since. Zyprexa helped me when I needed it but I don't agree with most doctors that you need to be on it for life. I have done a lot of research into my decision. I never want to feel like I did on Zyprexa again. It was not living! I felt like I was in some type of melancholy state. Congratulations to you for getting so low on olanzapine, as well. We are both to be patted on the back From what I read, this is a hard med to come off of. My doctor wanted me on 5 mgs/day for life. He said that I would not have as much "protection" at 2.5 mgs and that there was a chance that a manic psychosis could come back, Not only has it not come back but I have been at 2.5 and under for over 2 years. I'll keep my thread updated as to how I do. Would you mind leaving me a link to your thread? I'd love to keep up with you.
  19. I generally use Teals........available at Costco and I use less than the recommended amount in a warm tub. I have also bought other brands too........ Sometimes it comes in cartons and can usually be found close to the pharmacy at just about any grocery store. I hope we haven't overwhelmed you with responses and you are doing okay today. I also used to get needleless syringes to measure my liquified Trileptal at Costco as well. I had to go to the pick-up counter and just ask. They never even charged me. Best, mmt
  20. Hi Holly, I am currently tapering olanzapine successfully. From what I have researched, at least in North America, as far as I am aware there are only two kinds of olanzapine, the kind that is solid that you swallow with a pill, and the kind that dissolves on your tongue and/or in liquid. The problem I found is that even the one that dissolves - it does not completely dissolve and the olanzapine particles sink to the bottom. I tried doing it with just water and had inconsistent results because the particles quickly sank to the bottom. So I use ORA-Plus, a suspending agent, added to the water. The ORA-plus needs to be more than 50% of the solution so I use 6 ml of ORA-plus and 4 ml of water plus my 5 ml ODT olanzapine pill first dissolved in the 4 ml of water (then I add the ORA-plus) and to get 1.25 mg of olanzapine I would draw up 2.5 ml of solution made. Or in your case to get .625 you would draw up 1.25 ml of solution. Using a liquid you can taper in smaller increments accurately. I did your method (dry cutting by 50% each time) and got down to .3125 four times before having to go back on it at a higher amount. Though I was not staying as long as you did at 1.25 - so your body has adjusted to this amount nicely. However dropping from .625 to nothing might be too much and I would definitely stay at .625 for a while (like 3 to 4 months minimum - more if you feel you need it) since this was a 50% cut, to allow your body to adjust. If you do decide to make a liquid so you can make accurate drops lower than .625, you can also use a regular olanzapine pill that does not dissolve, and just use a pill crusher/grinder and then put the ground up pill in the ORA-plus/water mix putting in the ORA-plus first this time since it doesn't need to be dissolved in water first. I read that when you make a solution with Olanzapine it needs to be refrigerated and can last for 48 hrs, so you can take the first dose at 0 hrs, the second at 24 hrs, and the third at 48 hrs - so three doses. This has worked fine for me and the doses seem to work fine too for 48 hrs. I too have found as I have got lower on this medicine and adjusted that I feel better. What's the harm in taking it slow since you are already so low and it is not effecting you too much now? To risk horrible side effects from coming off too fast and awful insomnia I don't think it is worth the risk. With how little the pill is impacting you at .625 you can only be the gainer by going cautiously now.
  21. Hi brass monkey. Well you achieved the impossible and finally today made me smile. Thank you.
  22. Don't worry about repeating ,repeating yourself, repeating yourself. Your right in the thick of it ATM, and I know I had real trouble keeping my thoughts straight when I was there. I'm glad I could help.
  23. Maize-- You're totally freaking yourself out is what is going on. There hasn't been a post from you in the past six months that didn't contain "I'm getting worse, I'm losing my mind, I can't last any longer". Every skipped heartbeat, every ragged breath or unexpected blink is not a sign of insanity or death. We've told you time and again that you're going through WD and having a reaction to the drugs and what to do about it. The sooner you accept your situation and start to believe that you will heal the sooner you will start to get better. As long a you insist on dwelling on every little tic as being the end of your life you will continue to slide deeper and deeper into the hole you've dug for yourself. Get a grip man, you're destroying yourself with your own thoughts.
  24. "heavy metal?!?! seriously, "everyone knows" cats prefer Classic Rock n Roll!! hahahaha" To an extent H2H. But just look at the band Death Tongue.
  25. Yes I had to stop taking it for a few years actually after that. I'm still pretty sick. Not really getting any better. Went to the hospital last night but left because they forgot I was even there, didn't even do the blood draw and one of the doctors made a big announcement that unless your heart stopped the wait would be hours, 6 or more and I was alone so I left. Got home and crashed in bed. Just woke up, feeling very out of it, still in pain, but not as bad. I took my last two effexor last night before I left the hospital so I'm assuming that could be why I actually made it home on a 3 mile walk feeling like my midsection was being torn apart. I can only assume the effexor is what helped me a little because nothing else changed. I was an emotional Trainwreck before I left, I had a breakdown just outside, full blown, shaking, crying, hyperventilating and not one person on the staff was even remotely concerned. Not sure what to do now since the hospital was a bust and now my usual transportation is gone because the person is mad at me for not sitting in a hospital waiting room for 7 or more hours alone.
  26. Hades, Did your gynecomastia (man boobs) go away? How are you feeling now? Skeeter
  27. Hi brass monkey again. Sorry confusion is high too and can see I have repeated myself from earlier post.
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