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Hello all, I’m glad I found this site, and knowing there is people like me. I’ve been looking on this site to read and gather as much information as I can. Let me start from the beginning. I’m typing this with intense brain fog. In junior high school I was diagnosed with ADD, depression and social anxiety, was put on the drug merry go round. I honestly don’t remember the dates of being on these dugs or the dosage. I do remember being on Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft, Remeron, Tarzodone, Strattera. I’m not sure when I stopped these drugs with help from the psychiatrist. The next part my memory is better. In 2007 I was having bad anxiety from my job and my up to date drugs then was Klonpin .5 mg tablet 2x a day, Celexa hbr 20 mg tablet 1x in the evening, Concerta 36 mg tablet 1x in the morning. I wasn’t my real self on those drugs. In 2014 I had a back injury, I needed to work without being in so much pain. I think around 2015 I was put on Flexeril 10mg tablet up to 3x a day, Hydrocodone-acetaminophen 5mg-300mg tablet every six hours, Tramadol 50 mg tablet 3x a day, Mobic 7.5 mg tablet 1x a day, Prednisone 20mg tablet 1x a day. All while still taking Celexa, Concerta, and Klonpin. I was a walking zombie. I couldn’t function, simple tasks for me became the most complex to do. I know I wasn’t functioning at “normal” level, but I didn’t know what else to do with being in so much back pain. In 2016 the pain from my back was going into my feet, I was put on Gapapentin 600mg tablet 3x a day. At this time, I was put on more Klonpin cause I reached a tolerance, 1mg tablet 3x a day. During this time I had a surgery scheduled for my back, I told this to my gp, and he literally cut me off from Klonpin. Dr said tapper 2 weeks off Klonpin and your fine, but I knew better. My dad is a drug and alcohol counselor, and brought home papers on Dr. Ashton for benzodiazepines withdrawal. I knew it was going to be tough. This part is a bit hazy to me, I do remember Tapering off of K for months, maybe 4 to 6 months. I forget the exact dosage I did. That was a nightmare, I’m glad I didn’t do it in 2 weeks. I had the brain zaps, hot, rage, restlessness, feeling like jumping out of skin, depression. Definitely, one of the most difficult things I have gone through in my life. The lack of sleep I feel like was the worst part of it all. I decided not go through with the back surgery. For whatever reason I starting to taper off the other drugs. I tapered one at time with a good amount of space before I started my next taper. I forget the dates, but I tapered off of Tramadol, Flexeril, Gabapentin, and Hydrocodone. It was not easy but I did it. I would just go to my room blackout the window and stay there. I was also put on medical marijuana around this time. In 2019 is when I feel like I was coming out of the withdrawals. The only way to describe me before and after the drugs is night and day. I could process information, think clearly. I could feel emotions to a point. I felt really good. I was still on Celexa hbr 20mg 1x in the evening and Concerta 36mg 1x in the morning. At the end of April in 2022 I went on medical leave from my work because of my back, it hurt to stand. So 13 days ago I saw my gp told him I was feeling sedated from the Celexa, he said to take it in the morning. I tried that, and couldn’t sleep, so decided to take it at night to sleep. Last Thursday, I picked up my rx for Celexa. I told the pharmacist the same thing, he said take it in the morning, and let your body get used to it. I did as he said, and I took Celexa 20 hbr 20mg at 7am. I noticed a change and how I was feeling. At exactly 4pm this intense drowsy, dizzy, brain fog hit me. Also, noticed my breathing at this time is slow and shallow. 4pm is when I would normally take Celexa. This intense drowsy, dizzy feeling was only happening at 4pm. I wanted this to go away, so two days ago I decided to take my Celexa at the normal time 4pm. Today at 7am I started feeling that intense drowsy, dizzy, hot, almost feeling shaky, brain fog. It is so difficult to do simple things. I’m having back surgery next month, don’t want to be in this condition when that happens if possible. What do I do? Need help? I’m going to a cvs minute clinic soon, so they can check me out, but I don’t think they will be much help. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Every single one of you guys on here are amazing, don’t ever forget that! If people really knew the struggle we go through, I think they would have more respect for us. Much Love to you all!

Hello, This is my introduction post where I will be sharing my drug history, experience, and goals towards a drug free life. A little about me: I am a 26 years old male with interests in animals, nutrition, fitness, socializing, movies, and other things. I have been taking citalopram for 21 years and my goal is to taper off of my current 10 mg dose down to zero. I would appreciate tapering advice from anyone with experience with successful SSRI tapering, especially citalopram. Backstory: I started medication around the time I was 5 years old, just starting kindergarten. My parents had recently gotten divorced and I was taken to a child therapist and then a pediatrician. I had a lot of tantrums as a toddler, poor eye contact, trouble making decisions, and I would frequently get in trouble at preschool. At the advice of the pediatrician I was put on 40 mg of citalopram, brand Celexa, and what seemed to be at about the same time, 60 mg of dextroamphetamine, brand ProCentra. I still would get in trouble a lot at school up until high school, but I was a very happy kid. I stayed on both of these medications at the same doses till I was 17 when I successfully requested to be taken off of some medication. I tapered off of dextroamphetamine with no trouble at all. It was a little tougher to concentrate on hw, but I didn't mind. After graduating high school and starting studies at my local community college, I decided to taper off of citalopram. As with the dextroamphetamine, I worked with my pediatrician to help me taper off of the medication. I was told this would be difficult so I tapered off between spring and summer studies. I didn't notice any negative effects all the way down to 10 mg of citalopram. I felt different being on a lower dose, but I liked how it felt. Tapering from 10 mg to zero, however, did not go well. I developed pretty unbearable irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). At this time I am starting my second year of community college and I am 19 / 20 years old. Besides having IBS, I had heightened senses, a bit of depression and anxiety, and I was less hyper and less enthusiastic. I became diet obsessed and tried to find food I could eat without getting bloated and or having digestive pain. I lied to my pediatrician and I said I was fine and decided to stayed off of the medication. I visited digestive doctors, got blood tests, and looked for diets to solve my problems. After about 6 months, I saw my general care doctor and asked to go back on citalopram at 10 mg. Before taking citalopram I requested to try a different medication, a tricyclic antidepressant. I can't remember why I thought this was a good idea. I started at a low dose and had unpleasant headaches among other weird feelings. After a month or so I decided to go back to citalopram. I believe I started with 5 mg and then worked my way up to 10 mg. I had almost constant headaches getting back on the medication, and driving felt different, possibly due to the medications effects on balance. I can't remember if I had headaches tapering off of the medication. After two to three weeks, I felt pretty good. At this time I believe I was entering my third year at my community college. I found my digestive system was generally okay if I ate whole foods and stayed away from cooking oils. My anxiety was still much more present than when I was taking 40 mg, and I didn't feel as happy. I have stayed on my 10 mg dose of citalopram since then. To help manage my anxiety, I meditate, stay physically active, eat as healthy as I can, and socialize as often as I can. There is so much misinformation out there, even in scientific research. I am not sure what to believe about the harms and benefits of antidepressants. I was for sure much happier on a higher dose, but I was also a kid when things were easier and I was still growing up, so its hard to say. These are very stressful times in the world, but there might never be a perfect time to try to taper off of the citalopram. I would appreciate any advice on tapering or any shared stories of similar experiences. Thanks for reading, VeganLife

Hello. I had my first panic attack 12 years ago. Not knowing anything about panic attacks or anxiety I agreed to go on antidepressants with the promise that they would take care of me. My psychiatrist had told me if I could go a year with out a panic attack we would try to come off. Trusting the drs, who gave me no other info or options than the antidepressant, I continued on this path for many years. I was terrified of panic attacks and so when I had yet another one I would reach out to the psych and he would increase my dosage making me feel strong again. I reached 25 mg of celexa and felt l didn't want to increase anymore so decided the next time I had a panic attack I would just ride it out, which I did and survived and definitely took the power from them. I had informed my psych of this and he was like I think you might be able to come off these meds someday! That felt so good. He has since retired and I had new psych who didn't reach out to me for a couple years and I was busy living life. When he finally did last year, he asked if I was willing to come off the celexa. I said yes! We started with halving the dose every 4 weeks. Pretty quickly I realized this was too fast, intrusive thoughts knocked me off my feet and not knowing what they were I thought I was losing my mind. We then decided to taper 25% every 4 weeks. That worked. I was taking the liquified version of the celexa until my last dose August 31. No major withdrawal symptoms that I can remember other than irritation and annoyance. At the time my only concern was not getting brain zaps, and I didn't. Little did I know the worst was yet to come. I was dealing with some anxiety creeping back into my life over the next months, nothing too terrible. 2 months off the meds completely we took a family vacation to Disneyland and I was smacked with major anxiety. I figured that it might be too much stimulation and maybe I should seek out some therapy to help with the anxiety. At the 4 month mark, I had scheduled talk therapy in December and the day of my first appointment my child stayed home from school feeling ill and that was okay, my therapy session was online, but out of no where an intrusive thought hit me and panic followed. I called my mother who lives near and had her sit with me. I thought I was losing it again. My therapist talked me through it, sort of. I did feel a little better afterwards and marched on. My husband took 3 weeks to work from home after that week and I felt better again. But as soon as he went back to work the intrusive thoughts started hitting harder and causing panic and anxiety and nausea. I felt like I couldn't be left alone. I started reading books about intrusive thoughts and it turned into Harm OCD. My talk therapist had no experience with it, so I went searching for a therapist who did. I found a OCD specialist clinic and signed up for therapy and have had 1 session with them so far, this took place last week. I couldn't find anything on the internet that said whether this was a withdrawal symptom or not. I'm getting more symptoms physically now. Waking up I feel dread, nausea, anxiety, I feel like I'm being cooked from the inside with this intense heat. During the day I deal with the tingling brain and feelings of dread, anxiety. I have zero confidence. I still feel like I can't be left alone. My husband worked from home last week. Typically he works 2 days from home. I feel like a total burden, and I know he can't be home all the time, which causes me so much anxiety and panic. I've been reading on here the past week and took the advice to start taking fish oil, I went out to Trader Joe's to get the recommended capsules. I've been doing that for a week now. I started walking with occasional bouts of jogging this last week for 20-30 minutes. I have the headspace app which I've used for the past 4 years. I started journaling to keep track of my symptoms so that I have an idea if I'm getting any better. I've been reading about waves and windows. I guess I've been in a wave for 4 weeks, and it does feel endless at times, with a few hours here and there that I feel normal, like myself. I'm a few days shy of being off the meds 5 months now. I've got two children depending on me and I feel this morning that I might need to reinstate, I have these feelings when the withdrawal symptoms feel intense. I have psych appointment Monday. I reached out to my psych last week about what I've been dealing with, he has been nonexistent through this entire process, never checking in. He had his nurse call me and talk to him about everything and he asked if I wanted to get back on the meds and I said no, but he did schedule me this appt for monday, with not my normal psych, but again I don't know my normal psych anyway. I had an appointment with my general dr for another topic yesterday and told her the withdrawal symptoms and she offered meds and I said no. Today I'm feeling so confused. That perhaps, going back on the meds and doing a slower, 10% taper, might be an option? But I also read a celexa story in the intros this morning about how their body rejected the celexa and now I'm worried about that. Ugh.. I just don't know what to do. If I could get my confidence back I feel like I could trudge on, but I don't know how to do that at this point. When I feel okay, I feel like I got this, when I feel the withdrawals I want to tap out. Any advice or thoughts, I'd appreciate.

I tapered off 20 mg Celexa at the end of August not understanding that I did it too quickly after being on for 20 plus years. I cut dose in half first two weeks and then took one every other day third week and then quit. The first two weeks I had flu like symptoms and dizziness plus angry rages and felt much better when that was over until about week six off medicine and started having anxiety and depression which comes in waves. Fish oil helps a little and so does taking a bit more of my ADHD supplement but I'm still not functioning well. I can barely concentrate to even do simple things to take care of my home such as my weekly menu. I have gone from working a full time job as a therapist(I will never recommend antidepressants to clients again) to barely being able to function every day. I have job interviews and job offers coming in and have to turn down full time work. My company shut down and I was unemployed due to that but now cannot work due to depression and fatigue. I had to go to emergency room three weeks back due to gallbladder bottoming out after taking estrogen and a medical test and the Gallbladder and IBS are definitely part of the problem with the depression- due to-inflammation. My worst symptoms of depression started after having to go to emergency room. Now that I am having major issues I have been researching and found this site. I may have to go back on medicine to see if I can get back to work because I need food! Perhaps I can get advice on tapering and withdrawal and try again but slower next time. Neuropathy has been much better since off the antidepressant so want to get off this crap! I cannot remember depression symptoms 20 years ago when I went on med so have so way to assess what is depression and what is withdrawal. Even on med I had worsening depression w/menopause and could not take estradiol due to it bothering gallbladder. Four years ago tapered off and tried St Johns but that and 5htp make me feel bad. At that time I thought the symptoms of horrible depression was an overactive tyroid but now I am having same symptoms again with going off Celexa. I am going today to buy some saffron and try that and if that doesn't work I'm going to have to refil my Celexa prescription and see if that helps. I can't handle the depression anymore and must get back to work. I thought I would try just 10 this time and see if it helped enough for me to get back to work. Any feedback tips would be much appreciated. I'm so unhappy and wanting to die but not actively suicidal. I'm not understanding signature part of this post trying to read how to do it but my cognitive function is way down! Gender Female

Hi, I started taking Citalopram 20mg tablets in 2015 on recommendation from my GP. I was suffering with anxiety and depression due to a life event. Upon taking citalopram I started to feel better after a few months and continued to take it for around 7 more years. This was accompanied by 6 month check ups with my gp. This was basically a quick phone appointment asking how I felt and whether I wanted to keep to taking the medication. The reason I decided to stop was I felt it was not working anymore and I was feeling emotionally blunted by it taking it everyday. I wanted to be free of the drug. In July 2022 I contacted my GP explained that I wanted to stop taking as I felt I have no need for it any more. He set up a taper plan which was 1 week of 10mg (half my original dose) 1 week of 10mg every other day Then stop. The first week or so after stopping I didn’t feel much different, happier if I am honest. Maybe this was the joy of finally saying no to the meds. But after the second week of 0mg the withdrawal symptoms kicked into swing most notably: headaches pressure in my temple and ears Mood Swings ( extreme highs and lows) Trouble Sleeping Heartburn all day Vivid Dreams Having to use the toilet through the night. Slow digestion/ constipation Feeling of dread Lack of motivation Lack of interest in anything i am now 5 months into withdrawal and I still feel all these symptoms on a daily basis. It’s tough as I work full time , have a wife and young child. I feel like they are missing out as I’m not happy, almost like I’m a zombie. I get my self through work each day because I have no other choice. I just hope on some relief soon as it’s all very exhausting, like an endurance race where their is no end in sight. i look forward to being part of this community, reading things on here has helped a lot as it gives me hope in times I have none. Any advice will be greatly appreciated

Hi. I've been on SSRI meds for a long time. I'm currently tapering from Zoloft. I'm at 26 mg. I'm reducing at 2.5% every 2-4 weeks. My CNS is a mess and I can feel every taper. I'm so tired all the time and have no energy. I'm taking cal-mag citrate, Barleans Omega fish oil, Vitamin D3/K2, and an iron supplement for anemia. Sometimes I take Coq10. I'd like to know what has helped others with the inability to focus and with fatigue.

Link to Introduction topic: ☼-dan998-cold-turkey-reinstatement-and-tapering-citalopram I never got around to writing a success story because I never really considered myself a success. Sure, I got off the drugs, but it always felt like I had some residual brain damage. Presumably caused by 14 years of taking SSRIs and then the subsequent traumatic experience of stubbornly trying to force my way through a cold-turkey withdrawal, reluctantly reinstating and then rushing my taper. However, I recently had a realisation that has made me reconsider this point of view. I got a bit bored during the pandemic. Instead of filling the void by getting drunk and watching Netflix in my underpants. I decided to be proactive. I’d learn a new skill. Designing websites was something that looked interesting and would fill the long hours of lockdown. So, I enthusiastically threw myself at this task. Immersing myself to the point of becoming totally obsessed by it. After months and months and months of perseverance, I managed to teach myself how to put together a half decent website. However, the most important thing that I actually learnt was that my mind wasn’t as badly damaged as I’d incorrectly assumed it was. Thinking back to the debilitating cog-fog of those early days of withdrawal, where I couldn’t even process a few simple sentences, I came to realise just how much I have healed and grown over the last 7 years. It’s amazing the extent to which my brain has recovered. It's gone from being a completely useless drug dependent mess to a fully functional wonder of nature that is able to think, reason and learn. Creativity, concentration, logical thinking, problem solving and memory. All these abilities had returned and I didn’t even realise until I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of achieving. Time has truly worked its magic in slow, imperceptible increments. It feels like I am almost back to how I was before an antidepressant had ever passed my lips. A lot older, fatter and with more grey hair than I’d like. But, finally glimpsing the version of me that I expected to see when I first came here all those years ago. Of course there are scars. There will always be scars. I don’t think it is possible to go through such an extreme experience and not be fundamentally changed by it. I still occasionally have flashbacks and I get anxious sometimes. But, I try to not let it bother me and I get on with my day. Withdrawal no longer defines my identity. It has become just another chapter in the story of my life and, thanks to this forum, there are now many blank pages eagerly waiting to be written. Thank you Alto and all the moderators for your hard work and tireless dedication. My withdrawal journey can be found here - ☼-dan998-cold-turkey-reinstatement-and-tapering-citalopram

So back in January Of 2020 I was put on celexa 40mg for anxiety, well on the 11th day I had some sort of reaction. I was walking into wal mart and everything went dreamlike And has stayed that way, I also haven’t had an appetite Since, I have had also light sensitivity, Anhedonia, Apathy,no desire, no motivation, digestive issues, Brain fog, headaches, cognitive impairment, memory loss, severe derealization that never goes away, tremors, leg pain, hearing problems, can’t eat certain foods or ill start shaking and get brain fog worse, not so great sleep, I took celexa 40mg for 11 days and stopped cold turkey on February 7 then on April 18 I went on Zoloft 50mg for one month and also stopped cold turkey. Afterwards I haven’t been on a single drug. I still have derealization and can’t stand it, I can’t feel the days or seasons anymore, I can’t feel much I feel detached and dead on the inside. I don’t enjoy anything, music, tv, just nothing, stomach never growls nor I never crave food. I’m nonfunctional I can’t work and I was a supervisor at the same job for 3 years. Is all this permanent. It’s been 7-8 months since celexa and derealization,

I’m new to this forum and fairly overwhelmed by all the information it has to provide. I’ve been on citalopram now since 2011 and have managed to taper from 40mg to 10mg daily over the past year. I’m now a bit flummoxed as to how I taper off very slowly from 10mg to zero. My doctor is prescribing me liquid citalopram, however he is basically saying to me it’s impossible to bring the dosage down in such tiny increments. He has suggested a taper but I’m worried it may be too much at a time. I have seen one other member who has done it with liquid citalopram, however I don’t understand how it works really with the whole diluting the solution in water and making a suspension. Can anyone point me to any information on the site so I can understand better how it works and how to explain it to my doctor? He sounded perplexed and he even had to ring the clinical pharmacist who was none the wiser! 🫶🫶

just wanted to tell everyone that I have found this easier than anticipated but have been taking ibuprofen and paracetamol regularly to help with the symptoms, especially headaches and have found this really helps, also exercise. I used this method when withdrawing from diazepam several yrs ago and it worked well then. I am now down to 7.5 mg citalopram in the morning and am going to do this very slowly because from previous experience this is the only way. By the way, after every psychiatric drug I have stopped using I have discovered it never helped anyway.

Hi! I just started to taper and I am in my second week of reducing from 20mg escitalopram. I already cut off 10%. What I find confusing: 1. Does it matter if I just take on ONE randomly chosen day 10% less (which I did already) or do I have to distribute the 10% cut throughout the 2 weeks? I can't see how the latter would be possible, given the infinitesimal amount that needs to be reduced this way, but I thought I will ask anyway :)> 2. Whilst I am aware of the huge variability in individual histories, I wonder if anyone here has been experiencing gradual tapering (as advised per medication here) and had withdrawal effects that were bearable and short-lived? In other words, if one does it right, generally speaking, and assuming that one is only on one antidepressant and all other variables are more or less constant, does it help avoid the worse of withdrawal effects? This is something that I am confused about. It is important for me, if any data, anecdotal or scientific exists in regard to this matter. Where can I look for this kind of information? Many thanks.

I have been on celexa for 7 years. Started after a stressful event, but I’ve always had depression/anxiety issues for most of my life. I had minimal problems taking it- slight weight gain and no sexual interest (to my husband’s dismay). I decided to slowly titrate down and have not had any since August 2. The withdrawals were pretty much what I expected but not horrible. Now I am dealing with a new issue- irritability. Everyone and everything irritates the hell out of me. I also have a brain fog that makes me almost feel like I’m in the beginning stages of dementia! I also feel very disconnected from the world and even my loved ones. I am not sure if it’s my neurological system trying to recover or if I’m having depression again. Not sure what to do about any of it, but would rather not start back on celexa if I can help it! PS - it seems many of my female blood relatives are on celexa. Help.

I have been on antidepressants since I was in middle school. I was not informed about withdrawal or tapering until years later, specifically only when I was ill advised to quit cold turkey. I was taking Paroxetine for seven years and stopped around the 16th of March this year. The medicine worked great but I had to gradually increase the dose over time because I felt it was losing effectiveness. At some point, the dose was upped too high, and I experienced a rapid beating heart, weakness, and chest pain. When I went back to the previous dose, the symptoms slowly subsided. I believe this dose was 40mg, although I can't remember for certain, this is just the last pill bottle of Paxil I still have. Since the Paxil was no longer working, my primary physician switched me directly to Celexa 10mg 16th of March). Around the 30th of March, the dose was increased to 20mg. Around the 9th of April, the stomach pain began (constant upper central abdominal pain and full feeling, loss of appetite, early satiety—greasy/fatty foods hurt the most but any food tends to cause discomfort). I assumed the pain came from the increased dose of Celexa, so I went back down to 10mg for a week and then went off of it around the 13th of June and switched to Cymbalta. I only stayed on the Cymbalta for about a week because it had caused my skin to break out with rashes. The stomach pain still persists. I have had several tests that came out normal (endoscopy with biopsies to rule out h.pylori and celiac disease, barium swallow, CT scan, ultrasound). Looking back at the calendar, it was only a little over three weeks of stopping the Paxil did the pain start, so I'm now thinking I am experiencing withdrawals. A lot of members on this site seem to have similar digestive issues. I had been on the Paxil for years and my doctor switched me off of it abruptly. However, I've never experienced brain zaps or other symptoms that I can think of. The only other medication I was on at the time of the stomach issues starting was birth control (Sprintec), however, I do not notice any difference when on the placebo week so I do not think it is the cause. I started it months before the pain began. I tried over the counter nexium for a few weeks but it didn't help. I was then prescribed Famotidine, Pantoprazole, and Sulcralfate which did not help either. I was then prescribed Amitriptyline 25mg. I feel it may have taken the edge off the pain but it didn't do much beyond that. So what I am currently taking now is 40mg Pantoprazole, 25mg Amitriptyline and Sprintec. I would like to stop taking the PPI because I've read that it can make things worse (most people with GERD tend to have low stomach acid) and I don't want to stay on the Amitriptyline because it is another antidepressant I could get dependent on, but I'm afraid of the pain getting beyond unbearable again. I have reinstated 5mg of Paxil starting from the 3rd of this month (July). Although it is hard to say for certain, I believe I may have gotten a tiny bit of relief. I was able to go out for an extended period of time with minimal pain while usually there is constant abdominal pain. The pain can be debilitating and mentally exhausting, causing me to sit around all day when I am not at work. Oddly, the pain is also more noticeable when I am standing rather than sitting. It feels like there's a giant rock weighing down my gut. I will continue to take the 5mg to see if there is any more improvement, and may increase a small amount soon. So far, I haven't gotten any adverse effects from reinstating, but I will remain cautious.

Hello everyone, I am another who was previously at another forum which has closed down. I'm very grateful that there is another good AD forum as I really don't want to be doing this alone. I already know a lot of other members here. My history in summary: 2001 Had a baby, a few days later got hit with severe anxiety and insomnia, diagnosed with post partum distress, anxiety, and hyperventilation syndrome. A psychiatrist prescribed Aropax (paroxetine), Mellaril (thioridazine - an anti-psychotic used as an anxiolytic at lower doses to cover the SSRI start-up) and zopiclone for sleep short-term. Stayed on Aropax for about six months then tapered off over a couple of months, with just a few mild withdrawal symptoms. 2003 Had second baby, repeat of above process but with Cipramil(citalopram) and midazolam for sleep. 2004 Had just got off citalopram when a very stressful situation occurred at my workplace (company was bought by two other companies and split, our part then integrated with one of the two buying companies). Spent a huge amount of energy and effort job-hunting and not coping well with the situation. Eight months of unrelenting stress later had a breakdown, similar symptoms to before, decided to go back on Aropax since it had worked well before (stupid, stupid). 2005-2006 Work situation still stressful, kept trying to taper dose down but couldn't cope below 10mg. 2007 Crashed at around 5mg, straight back to 20mg. A few months later searched the internet and found information about slow tapering. Began a slow taper which went well initially. 2008 Crashed around April after dropping from 5mg to 4.5mg. Went straight back to 5mg which didn't help. Went through a couple of months of pure hell (stupidly did not updose). Couldn't sleep, eat or keep still. Off-the-scale akathisia, didn't sleep for a whole week, couldn't keep anything down, spent my days and nights pacing around until my feet hurt and I couldn't even wear shoes. Began relaxation exercises which calmed things down enough to struggle through for a while but unable to work to support my family. Lots of pressure to get back to work. Updosed back to 10mg in June and 20mg in July. GP prescribed zopiclone for sleep, then psychiatrist prescribed Seroquel to switch over to from the zopiclone. Nasty drug, gave me big muscle twitches in my legs. Restabilised by October, tapered off Seroquel fairly quickly. Began tapering paroxetine again in December. 2009-2014 Tapered at a glacial pace, some years hardly dropped at all due to instability for months. Eventually was doing only 0.1mg drops and for a while 0.05mg drops which sound so tiny as to be ridiculous but I felt every drop. Was afraid of crashing again at 4.5mg but got through it and am now down to 3.45mg. Last drop was 0.15mg instead of 0.1mg as drops seem to be getting a little easier recently. Still very afraid of crashing. In 2011 decided I had to get out of my stressful job/career, felt like I would never get off meds as long as I stayed. The lower my dose got the more toxic the environment felt. I think the meds had helped me stay in the job by numbing me out somewhat. April 2011 was offered and took paid redundancy, 2012 back to uni to retrain as teacher, 2013-2014 unsuccessful job hunting, bits and pieces of part-time work, feeling mostly happy apart from worry about lack of income. No regrets about tossing old career in spite of not really having a new one. All in all, far too many years of having these meds in my life, rather over the whole thing by now. If you actually read all of this, you deserve a chocolate fish.

Curious to know if anyone can give me their thoughts on my situation. My GP gave me Celexa at the beginning of February for general anxiety...very mild. I took the Celexa for 2 days and it made me few worse. She switched me to Paxil (took 5 days) and it did the same. I had panic attacks, felt like I was coming out of my skin, etc. I then went to see a psychiatrist, hoping he would give me advice on going the natural route. He said he thought SSRIs were not compatible with me, but suggested I try Zoloft. I really didn't want to, but he promised me it would be worth the shot. I took it for 11 days and on the 10th day, began having unwanted, depressive thoughts. He asked me to immediately stop the medicine, so I did. I had taken 12.5 mg for 5 days, 25 mg for 5 days and 36.5 for 1 day when I stopped cold turkey. The unwanted thoughts and anxiety increased for about 2 weeks and last week, began to taper some. I'm 3 weeks into being off them meds, but the depressive thoughts have not diminished. I was never depressed or experienced anything to do with mood swings or depression before SSRIs. I know what I am dealing with has to be my chemistry trying to balance out, but it's miserable. The doctor says I should be back to normal by week 4, but I'm struggling to have confidence in that...especially since he didn't think the Zoloft would mess me up in the 1st place. I feel like I've really messed myself up. I just want to be back to my normal self like I was before all of this. I don't like having thoughts of hurting myself or others...it's not me and I want it to go away. I would love advice or thoughts from anyone with similar situations.

Hi, I found this website from someone's post who seemed to be going through the same as what I am. Sorry if this is long but I'm not sure which info is necessary! I was taking Citolapram for alittle over 2 years, mostly 20mg but I upped to 30mg near the end. I weened off them within a week but after almost a month I went back of them (20mg). I only stayed on them for a week and then came off them cold turkey. About 7 or more weeks since, I randomly woke up one day with PGAD. It's a horrible, progressive, non-curable disorder that makes your genitals feel constantly aroused, sometimes stabbing, burning, feeling the need to pee, zap feelings and a lot of throbbing. I've had this for a month now and feels worse these past 2 days (coincidentally I was pescribed Amitriptyline 10mg but after 2 days of taking them I decided I don't want to go back to ADs - apparently PGAD is mostly caused by withdrawing from ADs) I've had so many breakdowns because of this and there is no way I can live with it, especially because it can cause spontaneous orgasms and a lot of pain which I haven't got yet. I'm so scared and my doctors have no idea about the disorder and just try to convince me it's in my head which despite my obvious symptoms and causes I'm hoping it is. My history of OCD could explain it too. Before taking ADs I had a fear of farting in public which as stupid as it sounds, kept me house-bound for years. It went away after I took ADs and started college. Then a year later I had a bad sickness bug which led me to a fear of throwing up, with that I felt sick literally every single day and not always just mildly. I had tests but nothing explained it. Then I started hearing alot about PGAD just before mine started, once mine started my sickness has completely gone (so all this time it must have been in my head which is crazy because I almost threw up it was so bad). And now I'm getting all these symptoms of PGAD constantly. But I'm still not convinced it's all in my head because it is a fact that withdrawing from ADs too fast can cause it, plus I think I have some damage in my pelvice since I went on an exercise bike during my 2nd withdrawals. This gave me what I thought was piles in my perineum which went away after a week and then came back with my PGAD. I have a huge skin tag in my perineum which fills and becomes solid if I'm too active and I start getting a pain around it (in my legs/butt cheeks). I'm thinking I've damaged my pelvic floor and that these things could be connected? Although the PGAD didn't start straight away? I'm sorry this was so long but I am so so terrified of having this disorder, it is honestly such a horrible, embarrassing, painful and hopeless thing to live with and has always been my biggest fear since I learnt about it. I have so many things that could have caused it which makes me think that maybe it isn't just in my head. It's driving me crazy and if anyone has any hope or experience like this I would really love to hear from you. Sorry again for the long post.

Hello all, I’ve found this website incredibly useful so I wanted to share my journey of coming off of venlafaxine (Effexor) with mild withdrawal symptoms so far. Context / About Me I was put on antidepressants in February 2014 at age 18 after I had my first severe depressive episode. Initially, I started on citalopram, then mirtazapine and then venlafaxine (effexor). I have been on venlafaxine for about 8 years continuously with no breaks. I am currently two weeks medication free and I have experienced very minor withdrawal symptoms. My first unsuccessful taper I annoyingly didn’t record my first unsuccessful taper that started in March 2020 but I came off 150mg venlafaxine in 6-8 weeks and had severe withdrawals (brain zaps, nausea and then return of depressive symptoms) resulting in what appeared to be a relapse* (I saw my old psych) and I had my medication reinstated. *From educating myself more on antidepressants, I know now that this was withdrawal from coming off the medication too quickly and not relapse. My (so far) successful taper using pill cutting method Feb 2021: Reduced dose to 112.5mg March 2021: I will have tapered but didn’t record speed, reduced dose to 75mg March 2022: I believe I then decreased further as I recorded going back up to 75mg 13 December 2022: I will have tapered but didn’t record speed but at this point, I reduced my dose to 37.5mg 21 February 2023: Reduced to 28.125mg (ish) 1 April 2023: Reduced to 18.mg (ish) 21 April 2023: Reduced to 9.4mg (ish) 10 May 2023: Took last dose of venlafaxine. I was planned to taper further from 9.4mg but took a shot to see how I felt and so far, so good. I was prepared to take my dose immediately if I felt unwell. Withdrawal symptoms I have experienced very mild withdrawal symptoms, including: - Most noticeable symptom has been that it has triggered an IBS flare up and my bloating is unreal 🤯 - Slightly off balance / dizziness - Fatigue - mild and only for first few days - Slightly irritable Major thing to note is that I’ve had NO brain zaps and no mood-related symptoms or anxiety!!! Resource recommendations Antidepressed by Beverly Thomson May Cause Side Effects by Brooke Siem https://markhorowitz.org (particularly his work on hyberbolic tapering) https://withdrawal.theinnercompass.org I appreciate I am lucky in my experience the second time around as I know many people have to face horrific, permanent withdrawal symptoms. However, I hope this shows that it’s good to go slow and not to rush the process of coming off. Happy to answer any questions and I will continue to update on my progress! A

Hello I am new to this forum. I have a particular situation where I had cut down a long time ago from 10 mg of Celexa to 5 mg and was able to stay in that doe for a long time. However when I tried to discontinue...i had severe withdrawal symptoms. I went back to five and stayed on 5 for over a year. I had eye surgery due to glaucoma and I believe that the cortisone drops have created a cortisol dysfunction situation. It seems that when I have stress I begin to have withdrawal symptoms and increasing to 10 mg of Celexa works to ease the symptoms. I will like to eventually get off but now I feel stuck with the cortisol situation. I am taaking a leave from work soon to see if lower stress help with my situation. I believe that I am reacting to relatievely minor situations as if they were threatening. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Link to intro thread Hey all! Been meaning to write this for a little while now but just haven't had the time. But I knew I was always going to write a 'success story' as those were the ones that kept me going!! I HAVE BEEN OFF MEDS FOR 2 YEARS & 3 MONTHS!! I'm 31, female, I was on SSRI's for a total of 5 years, mostly Fluox, then sertraline, then citalopram before my doctor removed me from meds cold turkey, he said I would have no ill effects from stopping this way either!! So I'm going to list my main withdrawal symptoms, what helped me through withdrawal and any other bits of info like when i felt the worst waves etc! Symptoms: -Daily crying -anxiety -panic -depression -dizziness -skin itching -tremors -muscle weakness -visual issues -heartburn -gut issues -heart palpitations -insomnia -suicidal -weight loss -cramp in legs -full body stabbing/zaps -backache -headaches -TMJ -brain fog -unsteady on feet -lethargy -muscle weakness -hair loss -joint pain Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head, but there will definitely be more! I noticed my 'windows' were very sparse until I passed the 12 month mark and after that I'd eventually get more and more windows. Before the 12 month mark, my windows were only short and usually on evenings. I had the most severe withdrawal symptoms between months 6-11, which I've read lots of people suffer more at that stage too. I also in this withdrawal period took Cipro, and my symptoms worsened after taking that so I do believe I was 'floxed' too. The things that helped me get through a cold turkey withdrawal: (there aren't many!) -Reading the success stories on this website (constantly!) -Meditation daily -Baylissa's book -The Lovely Grind youtube videos -Drew Linsalata podcast (the anxious truth) -My partner! (most definitely the reason I'm still here and off those meds!) I have been blessed to have a supportive partner throughout this process who fully supported me and believed I would make it out of the other side. He is my absolute angel! Between my sheer grit and determination and his supportive words I have done it! The only issue I've had since stopping the SSRI's is that I'm now in early menopause. I'm only 31 so it is very unusual. The doctors can't work out why I'm in the early menopause, my ovaries 'look' fine so they think it's more to do with my brain producing the hormones and my pituitary gland. So I believe that the medication and my withdrawal has caused my hormones to completely deplete by altering something in my brain. I'm now on HRT and feeling much better since being on it. I was hoping I wouldn't have any long term effects from taking these meds but it seems I do sadly. For anyone reading this, IT CAN BE DONE! I'm now over 2 years CLEAN and I feel SO MUCH BETTER that I don't have to rely on those tablets and have the ongoing side effects from them! KEEP GOING!!! If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and i'll respond as soon as I can! 🙂 Love Jade x

Hey everyone. I heard great things about this forum and wanted to share my experience, and receive some advice. I am a 28/M from the Midwest who has had a lifelong battle with anxiety and depression. I was on a smorgasbord of physcotropic meds from 8 years old until 14 where I decided to stop. In fall of 2020 I was diagnosed with IBS and stomach ulcers due to too much aspirin. I was immediately put on Paxil propranolol (both 20mg once a day) and famotidine 10 mg (2x/day) for panic attacks from health anxiety and acid reflux. It helped and I was on it until January of 2021, where I switched to Prozac after changing doctors. I took Prozac 20mg from January 2021 to March 2023 when I started dating a girl and weened myself off Prozac. I felt good - only taking famotidine. My IBS got better until a break up in September of 2021 and a very hostile work environment. I ended up going back on Prozac 20 mg until December 2021. From here is where my signature picks up my health history. I proceeded through this period and started experienced odd pains in my body that come and go. I have experienced referred pain from my IBS, so I chalked this up as normal. In November of 2022 I experienced a fall on both knees, and experienced plantar fasciitis in my left foot. I started thinking maybe my meds had something to do with this. I decided to wait until late December to try and taper off Mirtazipine. I did a three week taper - cutting a 15mg pill into quarters. I experienced rebound insomnia and quickly reinstated Mirtazipine at 7.5 mg and was put on Celexa 5 mg to start with the intent of going up to 10mg. (The doctor mentioned I sound like I am sensitive to these meds.) I started feeling better, my knees improved and my foot started to feel better with some annoying tight calves. I told my doctor I wanted to back off the mirtazipine to 3.75 mg - and he agreed. I stayed here for about two weeks. During this time, I was also taking Celexa 5mg I decided to try and taper off mirtazipine on 19 jan 2023 again from 3.75 - and two days in I felt panicked and insomnia. I quickly reinstated to 3.75 mg. I am currently taking mirtazipin 3.75 mg - 1/2 of a 7.5 hard Tablet and Celexa 10 mg. I was just upped on Celexa last from 5 mg to 10 mg Tuesday (17 Jan 2023). And here I am. I felt horrible withdrawals - mainly insomnia, fluishness, and panic attacks Now - I can feel my body get worked up when i get anxious, and feel my left leg hurt and my muscles tense up. My left leg tends to hurt in the evening - and sometimes my heel arch too. I don’t know if this is still pain from my plantar being referred up my leg, but it’s uncomfortable. I have been staying at my parents this week, recognizing I was destabilized after browsing this forum. I could use some advice. My sleep has gotten better since reinstatement - although I get some night sweats from Celexa. I was told to take magnesium citrate (150mg) for my plantar fasciitis and an omega 3 supplement (lemon lime 200mg) I want these body pains to stop - and these panic attacks. I have health anxiety stemming back from my battle with IBS and ulcers. Meds did help me through this tough time, and I found Mirtazipine to be the only med that really has helped me feel better. But tapering off it has been a nightmare. My current coping mechanism is yoga - although it’s $100 a month, I know that it does wonders for my health and anxiety. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi In 2015 i was suffering with mild anxiety and since then I have been on/off, more on than off Citalopram 20mg. I had never heard of this forum until I watched the Panorama TV programme on antidepressants. I have always thought that the withdrawal was the cause of my increased symptoms, but all the doctors said that as I had mild symptoms tapering off by 50% every three months that it was the anxiety causing the relapse and so Back on the Meds again. After three months from stopping the meds I would end up having terrible insomnia (2 hours sleeps a night), this in turn made me feel terrible and anxious and panic attacks. I am hopeful I can taper off with the right advice from this great community. Thank you.

Hi I recently reinstated 25 mg citalopram ( May 2023) after having reduced from 25mg-20mg Dec 2022-May 2022. I started to feel nauseous, couldn’t focus , brain fog . During my reinstatement I was diagnosed with h pylori and am now in triple therapy for that. I am fairly convinced the increase in citalopram also contributed to my stomach symptoms. I am still finding the extra quarter tablet upsets my stomach . Could I reduce down to 22.5 mg at this stage ? I have that dose available from the local compounding pharmacy? Antibiotics finish tomorrow so I could see how my stomach is then , I also find I can’t cry . Very disconcerting. Also feel a bit over medicated so to speak . history : fluoxetine Dec 2001-March 2002 citalopram 20mg March 2002-Sept 2015 citalopram 30 mg Sept 2015-June 2022 citalopram 25 mg June 2022-Dec 2022 citalopram 20mg Dec 2022-May 2023 citalopram 25mg May 2023-present

Hi all. I was on Citalopram 30mg for 13 years and came off them recently. Came off them too quickly and stupidly reduced them over 3 weeks. Went from 30mg daily to 20mg daily the next week, then 10mg then 3rd week did 5mg daily before nothing. Have been off the medication about two months now(meds free from 24th April 2023) and suffered horrendous withdrawals. I could cope with the physical but the mental torture was unbearable and I have a 7 month old baby to look after. So I gave in and re-started on 10mg which I’ve taken for three days now. I really regret this and have to get off this medication. Is it too late? Can I just keep off them even though I’ve taken three lots of 10mg(Citalopram). Now I have found this group and I realise it was withdrawals I want to stay off them and have so much determination to stay off them.

BavarianPH Started tapering over 6 months ago at 20 mg/ml of escitalopram oral solution. At first at 5% taper, actually 1 ml taper per week with very little withdrawals. At 3 ml it became more difficult, got to 2 ml back to 3 ml, got to 1.75 ml and experience the most intense withdrawals, extreme anxiety, fear, paranoia, close to a mental break. I went back up to 3 ml, then 5 ml, added Benadryl which counteracted withdrawal, but not for long. Was forced to go on .5 mg clonazepam 2x daily which worked but caused irritability, anger, mania, compulsion to talk a lot. So now I try .125 mg clonazepam. Tried to get a hold of my NP psychiatrist, not available until next Monday. I completely tapered off clonazepam 1 year ago and went from 200 mg lamotrigine to 100 mg. I am also on 137 mcg Synthroid, 500 mg Metformin, 300 mg gabapentin. Now I am afraid to taper escitalopram. I don't know at what dose to start, how to taper and for how long a period. This really shocked me. I have to take care of my wife who ended up in hospital 4 times, mostly because of accidental sudden stop of Celexa causing psychosis, then hospital not telling me all the meds they gave her on recovery, then she was put on wrong meds, and then got cold turkeyed on nortriptyline which caused a total breakdown and horrible rage, she was put on antipsychotics and depakote, did not tell me about the depakote and ended in hospital again. Finally, she was put back on escitalopram, rexulti and depakote, she had intense spasms, until I got her on seroquel and off of escitalopram. All this could have been avoided if the hospitals would have told me all the meds given. And if she had gone back on celexa. At that time over 2 years ago I had no knowledge of psychotropics. I studied up to 4 hours or more a day to figure out what happened, and found a totally mismanaged mental health system, unbelievable lack of accurate information and diagnosis. I need a lot of help not just for me but my wife who is so drugged up she can't even think. Please help!

Brief: 33 y/o female tapered too quickly off Citalopram and Wellbutrin XR (~1 month from 20mg/150mg to 0mg/0mg) after being on that for ~5 years and other drugs for ~15 years. ~6 months since last doses. Functional in daily life but struggling. No more physical symptoms, now experiencing emotional dysregulation in waves. How can I best help my brain/CNS heal? Is "good" stress still good when going though this, or is gentleness and reduced stimulation the way? More context: I apologize in advance for how much drug history I am missing and how vague it is. I have been on psychiatric medication continuously since I was 13 and it felt both normalized and out of my control, I did not keep records and did not think about it much. I took the pills doctors told me to. When they asked me if I felt "better" or "worse" I tried to come up with an answer to be polite, but the truth is I never felt much better or much worse, even when on unusually high doses of these medications (for my age/weight). I was inpatient twice, once at 14 and once at 20. When I tapered off my most recent meds (Citalopram and Wellbutrin) I did not keep a record of dosages or symptoms and the timeline is an estimate. Until this year I have not felt empowered to treat this part of my life with the seriousness and careful attention that it deserves. To be honest I doubt these pills did anything for me, I have been miserable, depressed, and anxious for as long as I can remember and that has been my "normal". As an adult, I have learned that my mood is improved or made worse by the usual non-pharmaceutical factors-- exercise, sunlight, socializing, healthy diet, sense of meaning, achievement in career and hobbies, etc. After reading some material on this website and experiencing my recent taper, I suspect that a lot of my difficulties over the last 20 years have been the result of these medications, their side effects, and how frequently they were changed up with short tapers. I don't think there was ever anything "wrong" with me that justified medical intervention. Nevertheless, my brain chemistry is now what it is because of these meds, and I am going to deal with it. I can remember being prescribed at one point or another all of these, sometimes in cocktails: Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, Abilify, Klonopin, Xanax, Lorazepam, Nortriptyline. For the last ~5 years I have been on Citalopram and Wellbutrin XR. Over a period of years I did reduce that from 40mg to 20mg and 300mg to 150mg respectively, and did not notice any changes. Approximately 6 months ago I decided to taper myself off of both medications with what I had remaining in the bottle-- over about a month's time I halved both doses, then halved again until the pills became too small to cut, then did alternating days--- I did not know that tapering should be done at a much slower rate with much smaller increments, that you should not alternate days, that cutting a Wellbutrin XR destroys the slow release coating, or that you should do one medication at a time.... I did everything you are not supposed to do, and I am surprised that my withdrawal has not been worse. For the first month I experienced extreme irritability, digestive issues, shakes, and visual phenomena similar to ocular migraine aura. That has all passed, I am now experiencing strong waves of emotion and combinations of emotion that are sometimes unrelated to my actual situation, and sometimes just disproportionate to a situation. These are usually combo-packs of negative emotion (shame/fear, anger/sadness/guilt, etc.) but I have also wept many times out of a sense of awe and transcendence. The description on this site of "neuro-emotions" makes me think this is what these are. I have found that using skills from CBT is somewhat (maybe 30%) effective at reducing the intensity of them, so that's what I do, it's better than nothing. I also have a high level of anxiety/activation when driving or being out in public, which I manage through exposure and some CBT tricks. I am experiencing some derealization as well. But other than the "neuro-emotions", these are things I experienced while on the drugs as well. If these emotional waves are indeed an issue of nervous system dysregulation after chemical dependence, and my brain is finding a new equilibrium, I want to make that process as easy as possible for my brain. To that end-- I practice an "extreme sport", rock climbing, which often puts me in a very activated, sometimes fearful, state. I also lift heavy weights. These activities are what keep me from going off the deep end, but they are very taxing on the nervous system. I have scaled back the lifting to try and give my CNS a break, but I know from experience I won't be able to reduce the climbing much without entering a deep depression. After reading the material here I wonder whether I took up these hobbies because they stressed my over-medicated brain in the "right" ways, and I wonder whether withdrawal and the healing process is going to be helped or hindered by them. Am I doing my CNS a disservice by subjecting it to "good" stress? Is it time to switch to yoga? I feel like, at this exact moment, these symptoms are tolerable for me, but barely. If they get any worse I am not sure I can tolerate them and also function in my job. I am willing to reinstate the meds to get some relief, but from what I've read here that could be a bad idea 6 months out. Today, with the information I have found here, I am feeling optimistic that even if recovery is measured in years, it will get gradually easier and the hardest part is over. However, the part I am in right now is really, really hard. Does anyone have experiences to share or insight about the CNS aspect of recovery, particularly if you regularly abuse your CNS with heavy weights or some other strenuous activity? Thank you for your time and especially for the wealth of information contained in this website, it has given me hope that I can get my life back.