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I went to psychiatrist in beginning of 2020. I couldn't focus, had anxiety attacks usually caused by chronic procrastination. I was also experiencing anhedonia, meaninglessness. I was prescribed Setraline (Zoloft) for depression & anxiety disorder. Started at 25mg and went up to 150-200mg over the course of 2 years. In 2021, I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking Methylphenidate (Medikinet) - started at 10mg CR x1-2/day. Experimented with Medikinet IR as well. Currently (2024) I'm on 20mg CR in the morning and either a 10-20mg IR, 20mg CR or nothing in the afternoon (depends on day). Every few weeks I do at least few consecutive days of Medikinet "holidays" where I don't take it. Between 2020-2023 I gained a lot of weight, from 80kg (184cm height, male, born 1998) to 120kg. Since 2023, my weight is stable at 115kg. There were multiple potential contributing factors and I have developed stress eating so I don't necessarily think that drugs taken were the main factor. Taking Zoloft led to anorgasmia and making it pretty much impossible for me to orgasm with a partner (still possible through masturbation alone, but also more difficult). My emotional states got very bland, both the pleasant and unpleasant ones. I tried tappering off Zoloft for the first time after a year of taking it (2021). I was at 100mg dose at a time. over a course of 5 weeks went through 100-75-50-25-0. Around weeks 4-6 I was unable to function. I was experiencing crippling anxiety, anger and a general lack of energy (I could only sleep). Relapsed and didn't approach tappering off again until this year (2024). Somewhere over December and January, I started to forget to take it Zoloft (200mg) and was doing so on-and-off for a 1-2 months until completely stopping to take it in February (prescription run out and couldn't get myself to schedule a doctor appointment). In contrast to last time I was feeling good. I was having more motivation. I was also beginning to experience a wider spectrum emotional intensity (in a positive sense). After 1.5 months from stopping to take Zoloft I started experiencing more adverse states that I don't remember experiencing before (maybe only occasionally as a young (<12 yo) kid. I'm getting easily triggered (anger) and irritated over small or unclear reasons. I'm able to see it arise and control it somewhat without bursting out on others (I think it's because on-and-off meditation practice that I was into for the last 5-6 years). Over the last 1-2 weeks I started experiencing more of a wheeping sadness states and crippling anxiety states where I just delve into a deep despair hole of overwhelm over day-to-day life and am unable to function. I had a psychiatrist visit in the second half of March where I mentioned that I more-or-less accidentally went through Zoloft taper. Psychiatrist suggested that we should monitor how it goes and prescribed an optional Duloxetine (Dulofor) 60mg in case withdrawal symptoms intensify. She also said that Duloxetine might help my ADHD (ability to focus) in combination with Methylphenidate much more than an SSRI like Zoloft would. I raised my worries about it also possibly causing anorgasmia and making it much harder for me to slowly go back to normal after dropping Sertraline (Zoloft) [I started slowly noticing that it is easier to reach climax]. She said the chances are not as high that it will cause as with Sertraline, but I'm still hesitant to take another type of drug with my current withdrawal experience.

Hi everyone, I’m new here, (22 y/o Male) and I have been reading all your threads on this forum for quite a while and it gives me great hope. I have a story off my own that I would like to share with you. It’s a long read and I would really appreciate your feedback back on it and where I can go from here. My story starts in 2021. To start I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have done since I was 11 years old, I am now 22. In 2021 after 8 years of suffering and sweeping my problems under the rug they finally blew up in my face and I had to deal with them. This included horrific intrusive thoughts, rumination and anxiety all day everyday for about 3 months straight so much to the extent that I had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t do anything. It affected my eating, sleeping and work life and I don’t even like talking about it to be honest. I had heard about ssri’s for many years but never considered them until my back was against the wall and I had no other choice. With much hesitation I started Sertraline in August 2021 (at age 20) and to be fair it did provide a lot of relief. I went from 25mg to 50mg and was on the medication for roughly six months, August 2021 to February 2022. Somehow or other the first time went alright and I successfully cold turkey’d off 50mg in feb 2022 because my prescription ran out. I didn’t have any prolonged withdrawal symptoms or sexual side effects. I also once took 25mg for a day or two in August 2022 but stopped because I didn’t like the spaced out and drowsy side effects. Now this is where I’m getting round to the not so great part. In January 2023 I was resuming my college degree after working for six months. I was anxious being in a new house with new roommates, and was looking for something to help me calm down and settle in. I knew I had left over Sertraline from the year prior. And while giving it some thought I foolishly decided to reinstate by myself and treat them as if they were benzodiazepines. This is where trouble began. I started 25mg again in late January 2023 jumped to 50mg and quit them cold turkey again roughly in around mid April 2023. The reason for doing so is because I was having severe headaches which very well may have been an adverse reaction. I feel very foolish about this because I unintentionally did this to myself when I really, really didn’t need to take the medication. And because I successfully quit cold turkey the first time round I thought I could do it again and was completely unaware of withdrawal symptoms. I was quite wrong, I guess this is what I’m getting to now. I have most the textbook PAWS symptoms I.e. poor to no emotions, anhedonia, lack of motivation/drive. Not to mention the sexual side effects numb genitals,watery semen, no real effect on libido however (thankfully). It’s now roughly 12 months since I last took Sertraline and while I see small windows there’s not much real improvement. I guess what can I do now?. I have heard about reinstating small doses of the drug to alleviate withdrawal symptoms but to be honest I’d rather not touch it with a ten foot pole after what happened. I’m probably outside the reinstating period anyway but I am open to suggestions. So what should I do, I’m no stranger to hard times and I know that this is just another bump in the road and will pass as it has for many others, but it’s starting to drag on a bit. I have often heard that it takes between 12 - 14 months for your dopamine receptors to reset so that gives me hope. I know I am slowly healing as I am getting very small windows but it’s still slow, is there anyone else who was in a similar situation as I am currently?. How long did it take you to recover and is there any feedback you could offer me. Considering that I only took it for 2 - 3 months shouldn’t that mean that I should recover a lot quicker and more linearly?. Can I 100% recover from this, and be even better than before?. Like said I’m hopeful and optimistic and know I will get there. I would just like to know where to go from here. Thank you for reading my story and I look forward to hearing your responses.

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Hello I took a antidepressant called sertraline for 3 months at 50 mg.Although it made me feel better I had to come off it as the change in brands was making my mental health deteriorate badly and I could not be guaranteed a steady supply from the same brand.I have come off the medication and have experienced horrific symptoms which I presume to be withdrawal which I didn't even have before taking the sertraline and these symptoms include severe anxiety, anger,rage,electric shocks and brain zaps,body being jolted, really bad low mood and this has gone on for 11 months after I stopped which is shocking.Gp's in England do not seem to be aware how bad antidepressants can be. I would like to ask if any people from England are going through withdrawals from antidepressants as Gp's deny withdrawal, and whether there are any private doctors or Gp's who believe in antidepressant withdrawal and could maybe give a diagnosis.Does England even have any support or services for antidepressant withdrawal? Thanks

I came off 50 mg Sertraline almost from one day to the next. Then threw away Vyvanse from one day to the next. Now, I am trying to come off Seroquel, but I am struggling. Went to the hospital twice in the last couple of weeks because I have a severe lung infection, but the doctors cannot understand why my body won't take in enough oxygen for my oxygen saturation in the blood to be normal. I suggested that it might have to do with the fact that I JUST came off several kinds of meds that had a severe impact on my breathing (I was hyperventilating all day every day), but they just looked at me funny. But it does make sense to me that I am now "hypo ventilating" because my body is out of balance? Am I totally off here? Right now, I wish I could just find a doctor who could let me know whether it is dangerous to "hypo ventilate". I have to sons, and I don't want to die...

Hi there. I joined last year, but this is my first post. I'm not really sure what I hope to achieve here. Sometimes I feel so alone in this. Sometimes I just want to yell from the rooftops, warning people to stay away from Paxil. I guess this post stems from both of those statements. A little of my story- I moved to QC, Canada when I met my wife in 2002. Married quite quickly after meeting. Coming from the US, I was definitely not prepared or knew what I was in for, with a move 500 miles away to another country. Especially when it's a country within a country, so to speak, as Quebec can often be seen. Extremely long and winding story short - I became a very different person, within the first five years or so. So much I can point to now, as the catalysts for my becoming a shell of a man. I think it was mostly a perfect storm of childhood traumas, harmful paths as a young man, and high stress life circumstances as a young married man. I can honestly say my wife was not the problem. I was. But I didn't see it that way, at the time. After five years in, my wife told me she thought I needed to see a doctor. That I "needed" to be on medicine. That since my mom had mental health issues, depression etc., it ran in my family. That it was a chemical imbalance. When you break your arm, you go to the doctor, and they fix you. It's the same with mental health. These are things I completely reject now, but at the time, I needed to do something. I was becoming someone I didn't recognize anymore. Aggressive, depressed, anxiety ridden... You can't imagine how I wish I could go back to that point in time. The moment I pulled my car up to the medical clinic. I wish I could go back and tell younger me, that it was the circumstances in my life that needed to change. It was the healing I needed to do. It was the therapy I needed to seek out. Instead, I sought out a drug to "fix" me. And on top of that, one of the worst drugs in the ssri family you could possibly take. One of the hardest to get off of. One with the worst side effects. One that would change my life... But not for the better. I went into a clinic and had a seven-minute conversation with a GP that obviously was there at a drop-in clinic for some extra side cash. "Do you feel down?" Yes, I said. "Do you lash out?" Yes. "Does your mother take any anti-depressants?" Yes. "Here's a prescription". I'll sum up my years on Paroxetine. It gave me all the typical side effects, but it seemed to help with my anxiety. It did not make me feel happy. It did, however, seem to blunt my emotions. Which I suppose could be interpreted as "helping" with being depressed. Over the years, I'd start feeling confused as to why I'm not feeling happy. Why I'm still having moments of lashing out. Why I can't seem to click into life the way I see others can. Just always feeling like something was just wrong with me. So, I went back, upped the dose a couple times. Over the years, I tried to get off of it. The very first time, was cold turkey. I was NEVER told by the doctor about ANY negative side effects, and that coming OFF of Paxil can be difficult. I knew nothing of tapering, withdraw, discontinuation syndrome... None of it. I remember having the extreme zaps, the suicidal ideations... I went back on. I tried to get off a few other times and couldn't ever do it. I've been off of Paxil for about half a year. I'm definitely experiencing withdraw. I'm so thankful I'm off of it though. Because I know what I lost while on it. I've come to realize that so much of my impulsive behaviors, risky behaviors, emotional indifference can be traced back to being on Paxil. I went from a man with a wife, three kids, to currently alone. I've lost it all. The things I've done, and said, and thought over the years are unfathomable to me now. It's as if I've awoken from a nightmare. And I don't mean that figuratively. I mean it literally feels like I'm awake after over a decade of dreaming. I left my wife seven years ago. A woman who stood by me through it all. Who had to suffer alongside a man who became a shell. I did things over the years on Paxil, that when I think of now, makes me actually ill. I can't believe the person I was. I can't believe the decisions I made. I can't believe how numb and callused I was towards her, my kids, and really my own life and self. Basically, what I've realized, is that Paxil did nothing to "fix" me. All the problems that weighed on me and my heart/mind/soul, never went away. I just was able to numb myself a little more towards them. Sometimes now drug-free, a memory will pop up and I'll see it and feel it in a completely different way than I did at the time. It's hard to explain. It's like I think about my life and see a movie played out, by an actor that looks like me, but isn't me. I'm angry. Angry at Paxil, angry at that doctor... I feel I've lost years and years of my life. Years I won't get back. But alongside that anger, I have empathy. Empathy for myself. I'm trying to balance guilt and sadness, with empathy and hope. I'm in the process of working this all out. Maybe someday I will have my family together again, intact, by the grace of God and clear mind. I've talked with her about a lot of this, and she seems to understand how these brain and body altering drugs can play a part in the downfall of a person. Discovering Dr Roger Mcfillin, and many others has been a game changer for me, personally. Also moving towards God and His grace and forgiveness. Redemption. Things I never cared about really, and eye rolled over. For those of you who have lost during your time on one of these drugs- I know how you feel. We must take responsibility for our actions and life choices, but to deny that Paxil didn't have a role in this for ME, would be a gross mistake. I'll post more as I continue this journey in healing. As I said, I am experiencing prolonged withdraw, and I'll share more another time. Love to you all. Have hope.

Hi friends... When SSRI's came into my life, they saved me. Through most of my life (teens and twenties) I had successfully lived with my mental health struggles using tools such as exercise, time outdoors, and an ever changing and stimulating lifestyle as one has during this time of their life. When I moved in my early 30s, completely upending my life as I had never lived anywhere else, I was no longer able to deal with the depths my depression took me to. After failing to find relief from Wellbutrin, I reluctantly decided to try Lexapro. It truly saved me when I was at my lowest point until then. I knew about some of the side effects, weight gain, lower libido, which is why I hesitated. But, as I was no longer functioning, something needed to change. And, it did. What I did not know, was how horrific it was going to be to try to get back off of this drug. I understand myself better now, and I've created an environment in my life that should help me to thrive. But then there is this drug. It is like a veil. More subtle than the depression was, but still something that keeps me from living fully. It keeps me from feeling fully. In 2019, I was ready to come off of the drug. With a new psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed SSRI to me), I expressed that I was ready to come off of Lexapro. She told me to cut the dose in half for a few weeks, then in half again, then for a few more weeks, then I would be off the medication. After 5 days at half dose, I was having flu-like symptoms, crying whenever I moved more intensely than a walk, not sleeping....it was too much. I told my doctor and she said to go back to the full dose and we could try again slower at a later time. Then, she retired, and I moved to help my Mom go through cancer treatment. Not a good time to remove your antidepressant. In April 2023, my Mom went into remission, I had the best job, I lived in a place that was good for my soul, and I had so much support around me that I was ready to try again. I did not have a new doctor by now to support me, but I had learned the first time that I needed to slow the tapering process down. I thought I could do it. I reduced my dose by only 25% for 2 weeks, then again to half dose for 1 day. After not sleeping for 4 consecutive nights in a row in addition to the previous WD symptoms I had the first time, I went back to full dose. I was angry and sad. I felt like I had no control and my inability to come off the drug made me want to come off it even more. Why don't doctors tell you about this before they put you on it???? Yes, I've gained weight, my sex life has suffered, but not being able to stop taking this little pill is appalling. I didn't sign up to be dependent on a life-numbing drug for my entire lifetime!@@ My Mom did pass away this last year. The last thing I've needed since April is to take away this crutch when my heart has been more broken than it ever has before. But I am healing, and I think part of that healing process is to take back full ownership and control over my mind and body by getting off Lexapro. I have a two new doctors who are going to support me through this, and I have this site!!! I am so incredibly thankful for the resources and stories about people's journeys going through the same process I will. Thank you all SO MUCH for this site. My new doctors have prescribed me some additional psychoactive drugs to support this process: Lamotrigine and Bupropion. I am taking these to help alleviate WD symptoms from tapering off Lexapro, but I am very anxious about becoming dependent on these as well. My goal is to come off all psychoactive drugs to see where I am in navigating my mental health without chemical support. We will see...

Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?

Hi everyone, I'm Stanislav, 24 years old and I've been suffering from constant depersonalization/derealization for almost 7 years, triggered by a weed induced panic attack. My symptoms include feeling unreal, confused in the world, racing thoughts, excessive symptom monitoring, memories don't seem like my own, loss of sense of self, apathy, anhedonia, lights are bright and "tunnel vision" (a kind of visual processing problem where I don't seem to percieve all of my FOV at once). Two years later I was curious about medication since my symptoms haven't improved despite cbt therapy and time passing. In January 2020, I went to a psychiatrist, briefly described my situation and he instantly prescribed me Lexapro 10mg, which was supposedly really safe and unproblematic. I started taking it and felt changes in the next months. I cared much less about the intrusive thoughts but also had more anhedonia, was even less prone to laughing, was always feeling a bit tired and it was more difficult to reach orgasm but for me that was fine, since I had issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway, shortly after I met my boyfriend (the light of my life) and I continued the use of Lexapro for 2 years. Often times only taking half a dose, in hindsight it was irresponsible to be doing this. My dpdr symptoms have not improved but they were easier to live with and ignore. I want to emphasize that I didn't have a close connection to my psychiatrist and basically only went there for a new receipt where he asked if everything was fine and I said yes. Having no idea that tapering after prolonged AD use is supposed to be really slow, even though 5mg is the minimal tablet dosage, I quit cold turkey in 2022 for a month from 5mg because it wasn't helping with dpdr, not thinking much of it. I began experiencing great anxiety and depression and wanted to try wellbutrin, which helped for some people. So I was on wellbutrin for 2 weeks and had to quit it because it made me extremely tired and not much else. I then restarted Lexapro 5mg and later went up to 10mg for another 1 1/2 years. It was similar to the first time I took it. Then in January 2023 I decided to get off the drug and really work on my anxiety to recover from dpdr, which had been ruining my inner life. (Outwardly I was doing fine, got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics, while being dissociated 24/7, working on my master's degree right now) Without talking to my psychiatrist, whom I didn't trust that much anyway and he was changing offices too, I quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey about a year ago. I really did not think much of it. I was really convinced the drug was relatively harmless. Stupid of me, I now know better. My withdrawals started after a week and I suffer them until today, a year later. They're not as bad as some people here have them but they are still debilitating and include: Waking up with and suffering from strong anxiety and incessant racing thoughts and uncontrollable worries, depressed mood, heart beating fast, not being able to breathe in deeply, I also have anhedonia which I had before but now it's worse and I miss laughing. At first I was telling myself it was relapsing or that my dpdr was improving because I was feeling more anxiety, so my emotions were less dampened but just last week the realization hit me that I was not just suffering from dpdr but also from having been on Lexapro. At this point I wish I never took it. The last few days have been especially bad with me not being able to calm myself down and feeling like a hopeless case. The withdrawal symptoms have not improved at all yet. I've been going to the gym for 2 months and I will continue to do so. One thing that sometimes helps is a diaphragmatic breathing meditation, Doing this I can feel the anxiety subside sometimes. I am struggling at work and university but I hope that I will improve in the next year. Do you guys think there is hope for me? I know I ***** up but after a year, I don't want to start taking the drug again to taper it more slowly. I was thinking about doing rTMS for depression and anxiety and I am also in therapy for the last half year. Would appreciate any kind words and thoughts. Cheers

Hi sorry for my poor english i'am suffering from nerve pain after I CT prozac and abilify I took them for almost 3,5 weeks I was on ativan from 9-11 2023 0.5-1mg Clonazepam 11-1 0.5mg tappering for 0.25 for month and i am on 0,25 from 2 month olanzapine 10m g 2 weeks in 12 2023 then abilify 10 days 10 mg 7 days ablifiy 5 mg and stopped at 13/12/2023 beacuse TD started Prozac 20 for 3.5 weeks and ct in 16/12 /2023 mild withdrawal then In 2/2 2024 My body started tingiling only when move then day after day pain is increased now it like fire ants 24/7 is it from prozac, abilify or clonazepam i was on 0.25 clonazepam for 3 weeks before it started and there was no thing

Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History

I promised myself and God that if I got to the other side of this I would come back here and reciprocate the hope that helped me get through this. I’ve been 95%+ recovered for about 2 years but I avoided coming back and put off my promise for too long being that this site is associated with the trauma. This site was the rare place that gave answers. You feel alone because doctors and even Dr Google seem to shrug its shoulders at your symptoms. Compound that with me going through my symptoms during the Covid years when seeing a doctor was next to impossible, also my already ultra anxious mind being stuck at home worrying about the world and my family’s health. I’ll try to get to the point. My symptoms begin when I stopped taking Wellbutrin suddenly. I was only on it for a few months. Maybe 5 at most. I didn’t know about waning off. I just knew I wanted to be done with it. What followed was a massive panic attack followed by an array of symptoms that lasted a year and a half: constant intense headaches, eye flashes, “air hunger”, jerking out of sleep, tingling, chest tightness, among a few others. The symptoms’ intensity decreased month to month but the frustrating part was they stuck around for a while. The windows and waves theory is true. It will be 4 years to the day this week since it started and I can say my life has changed for the better since. I’ve gotten 2 Masters degrees and a top professional certification in my industry. I say that to say not only will you get through this you will be stronger and your mind will still be strong. Just take it a day at a time. I don’t want to get into what did and didn’t help me because I do remember the mix bag of trying supplements and suggestions frustrated me so I won’t burden you with that. What I can say is it gets better with time and there will be a time in the near future where you somewhat forget this hell you’re going through.

I’m unsure on the right terminology because I’m not sure what I believe anymore so please bear with me. last year after ten years on citalopram I had a sudden relapse in depression and anxiety (you could say I pooped out but who knows). The relapse has crippled me and it’s immeasurably worse than the first time around. It’s consumed me and I feel like I’ve lost my identity. Through this period the doctor changed me to sertraline and again to venlafaxine. Both of which had zero effect. I wanted to look at exploring more naturalistic remedies (not sure how appropriate it is to discuss this on this format so I will leave that there- but happy to hear people’s stories and experiences of doing that) but I’ve had a really tough Fortnight and when I went back to the docs this week he wanted me to try mirtazipine. I have taken that for two nights but after a chat with my therapist this morning who’s very critical of medications and the role of seretonin in all this I’m questioning if it’s the right thing. It’s all so hard when you are extremely desperate and just want relief really interested to hear everyone’s views and experiences

Hi All Just wanted to say thank you this website has saved my life and now that I'm able to join after months of struggle. I have been on quite a few drugs over the years mainly benzo's and paroxetine. I was prescribed 2mg rivotrol or clonazepam for sleep 2015 - 2020 and in 2020 got covid and later suffered covid fog which I release now was WD. Was prescribed 2020 for a 6 month period Propranolol (can't remember dose) Clonazpem 2mg Xanax 2mg (I think) Prednisone 10 tablets a day ( Weaned of reducing buy 2 tablets a day) Paroxetine 10mg. 2020 - 2023 Aug 19 Cold Turkey Paroxetine 10mg Clonazepam 2mg - 4mg 2022 March - 2023 March Ritalin I stabilized after the supposed covid fog was 5- 6 months of absolute hell. And then functioned ok for a year and a half , then things starting getting bad. I think leading up to the Ritalin, I look back now and think it was medically induced Hypomania. As people said I talked alot which I did and then by mid 2023 I was mostly in hyper mania states and especially that last 2 months before I was forced to stop cold turkey as I admitted myself to a rehab for 28 days. Where I suffered withdrawal for 2 weeks. I started working after and after 6 weeks of the cold turkey I've been in WD , December 2023 was absolute hell almost no sleep, debilitating anxiety and depression, panic attacks , brain zaps from sound ( they were worse after a few days of cold turkey) still here tho, lights sensitivity, and lots of fog can't see how I wil ever enjoy life again things I once enjoyed etc Can't even watch TV I mostly live in my head. I'm not functioning and haven't been since the withdrawals kicked in. I believe I've come along way as I have some days where it's bearable and some evenings which I feel almost normal. In December I was suicidal 95% of the time. I have very bad mornings which I believe are because of increased cortisol. Feels now like I'm in 75% wave and 20% bearable window and 5% or less when I might just feel like myself. Although to survive this I've had to not trust my thoughts (especially since being manic last year where I did crazy things) and my intrusive thoughts have been so negative and debilitating the only way it's to say it not me. The bearable windows are mostly in states of Anhedonia or Apathy, which to be honest I'm still suicidal as I do not want to continue living like this not to mention all my family and friends think I went to rehab for drugs which I used every odd weekend think they just assume the worst as being hypomanic they would have to I guess. I honestly don't won't to continue to live like this, I know there are so many worse cases on this forum and I'm only 4 months in. I also know it's too late to reinstate and of the hell I've been through I know its not the right way. I've been taking Magnesium and Omega 3 which I assume is helping as December was harder and I have glimmers of hope here and there not for long. Still sleep between 3 - 4 hours a night waking up every hour. In December used urinate 12 plus times a night now maybe 4- 5 times. I have alot more to discuss and hopefully get some advice even tho I kind of gather that nothing can be done but exist and wait it out. Kind of just existing at this stage mostly on this website and bubble pop in my phone. Thanks all I'm in a bit of brain fog now so hope that makes sense. Also I gather I need to do my drug signature ?

Hi, I just signed up today. Started taking sertraline February 2021. Was initially on 50g and after a few weeks put up to 100 mg. Developed stiff hands, jaw and throat to point it affects speech when really tight. Also memory loss etc but not what is bothering me as much as the physical symptoms. Severe bruxism even with mouth guard. Stopped taking abruptly after 6 months as wanted to see if jaw and hand problem went away. It’s been over two years and still no different. Has anyone experienced similar. Thanks

I started Escitalopram 5mg for around 2 weeks everything was fine, didn’t have any issues. I was bumped up to 10mg around the 2 week mark and a couple days later i had numbness and burning on my forearm so I decided to quit cold turkey. I was fine for over a month but then i started to see withdrawals. I have a loss of touch and i have full body numbness, especially and night if i stay still might entire body will tingle and be completely numb. It’s been around 3 months now since i took my last dose and im not sure what sure what if i should reinstate the drug or just see if it eventually goes away. I just don’t know what to do

Hello all, I have been reading this site for awhile but recently decided to join. Please forgive me for any misspellings or anything poorly written as my brain is not what it once was as a result of these drugs. Even finding the motivation to write this post took me multiple days. My parents were very pro-medication at a young age, I developed OCD around age 10 and took Zoloft for approximately 2 years as I was told I needed it to get better. I was also on Ritalin from age 5-13. I went through most of high school and college unmedicated, until the end of college around age 21 deciding to seek out adderall again as my grades were starting to take a hit. I also had a breakup at the time and a doctor put me on 40mg fluoxetine (prozac). I wasn't even that sad but he said it would help take the edge off. I didn't think twice about this drug after taking it, and somehow ended up taking it for the following 10 years. Fast forward to age 31 (about 1.5 years ago) Things were going incredibly well in my life, recently married, job going well, driven and enjoying life, and I looked at my pill one day and thought, Why am I still taking this? I learned about the long half life of this drug and since I was told 10mg was the lowest dose, I asked my doc to change to 10mg which he did without a real question. I went from 40 to 20 to 10 in about a month, and then started taking the 10 every other day, every third day, every 4 days, and so on, until I got to one pill every two weeks. Since this was the minimum dose, I figured this was the most drawn out "taper" possible. I took my last pill somewhere around October of 2022 and oddly enough, the 2-3 weeks that followed were incredible. Life was brighter than it had ever been, I was happy and motivated to take my life to even another level i had not yet experienced. About one month off the drug, I started to notice some very strange effects. My body and mind did not feel right. I had extreme mood swings and fatigue, complete loss of libido that has never returned, and other symptoms. I got my testosterone tested and it was very low, in the first percentile for my age. Health is my biggest passion and I had done nothing to cause this, I had continued my extremely healthy eating, active lifestyle, great sleep etc so I found this very odd. I eventually went back on the drug for approximately 1.5 months to see if it helped with my issues and libido (and I had genital numbness), but it didn't seem to make any meaningful difference (I also dont think I tried it long enough) so I did the same "taper" again around Feb of 2023. Looking back my taper was probably more of a cold turkey than a taper, given my last dose was still a full dose (10mg). My testosterone level started to improve, but not without a ton of other symptoms coming and going over time. Whole body pains, cognitive issues, weird mental issues like extreme difficulty making decisions among other things. This has been an ever evolving range of symptoms, with some things sticking around changing in severity and others coming and going. My current symptoms which have been around for quite some time are an extreme lack of motivation and a strong sense of apathy. This is also accompanied by severe anhedonia. Every simple task has become difficult, and I often feel like I am stuck in the mud with the way I interact with the world in my new state. I struggle to work my job in whhich I have been a high performer for many years, and I require a lot of daily assistance from my wife and father. I feel like a burden on those around me, I am no longer the same person and I keep desperately searching and trying to find that person again. I have considered a reinstatement, but do not want to slow down my recovery - but at this point I am getting kind of desperate for some relief. It is hard to say if I have experienced any real windows, but I guess things are changing, even if not for the better, which signals something is going on in my body. I continue to care for my body in every way imaginable from a great diet, sleep, exercise. However I am sure there are other things I could be focusing on to heal more quickly. Open to any and all suggestions or advice. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

Good day everyone My back story: - Mid 2019 (age 19) I went to my doctor a few weeks after a bad breakup of 3 years. I just was not feeling like myself. He insisted on me taking 5mg of an antidepressant for 4-6 months (I cannot remember the name and have since moved to different doctors, but I will try and find out). I took it for about 2/3 months but had to switch to Duloxetine Hydrochloride 30mg due to the other AD giving me ear infections. In hindsight, I probably could have gotten through it without AD, but what's done is done. - In Oct 2020 (age 20) I had severe COVID-19 and had to start taking asthma medication - Symbicord and Omnair. My asthma is well controlled now. - In 2021 I saw a new doctor, and she upped my dosage to 60mg because she considered it the normal dosage. Within 2-3 months I tapered back to 30mg as there was no reason to be on a higher dose. I switched to my current doctor after that. I experience no withdrawal symptoms from the up and down dosage. - In June 2022 I had 2 small surgeries. That doctor advised me to take Tramadol. I told her about my medication and asked if there arent any clashes. She told me no. I read up about the possible clashes and wasn't sure whether to take it. My parents told me to trust the doctor and take it. I took it for 3 days and then started to get panic attacks. This lasted for 2 - 3 months. Panic attacks every day the whole day, even in my sleep. (Before then I only had panic attacks in 2014 (age 14) when my brother left for university - due to my separation anxiety.) At month 2, I contacted my Homeopathic Doctor, and she prescribed me Stram 200. This helped a lot and got me on track quickly. (I trust my homeopathic doctor, as it cured my torrets when I was a child and cured my brother's lung problems as a child.) - On 27 Nov 2023 I started to taper off my medication with the help of my GP (since then found out it's not a taper but rather a cold turkey). I wanted to come off my medication before I moved to a new country (now I know it's not the best move). Details about the move - starting my articles at a new firm, moving from South Africa to London, and leaving all my friends and family and my loving dogs behind. My brother lives in Brighton, England, which is a benefit. The taper method was one day on, one day off, and by 7 December 2023, I took my last dose. This taper was extremely difficult and I felt horrible. By 10 December I had a full-blown panic attack and could not function as a human. This panic session lasted about 2-3 hours. I also had most of the withdrawal symptoms except not feeling emotions and suicidal thoughts. The following week I had panic attacks throughout every day, and by week 2 it turned into crying spells. Accompanying this anxiety and panic was an abnormal dizziness and loss of appetite. At the end of week 2, I contacted my homeopathic doctor and proceeded to take stram 200 for 3 days, afterward stram m for 2 days, and afterward stram lm for a few days. This helped a lot and after a week I was back to normal. - Then on 7 January, all the withdrawal symptoms returned. My stress levels suddenly were a lot higher, due to my board exam I had to write in 2 weeks, and my signing the lease of my apartment in the new country. Everything became real. The worst symptom is the constant dizziness that interfered with my life. This caused me to lose power over my thoughts and I spiraled back into a hole. Since then I worked with my homeopathic doctor. She tried Stram 200, Nat Mur 200, Ignatia 200, and Phos 200. These have significantly improved my anxiety and thoughts but had zero effect on my dizziness. I also woke up after every nap and night with an anxiety attack. After my board exam, my dizziness improved but is not gone. This leads me to believe that stress and anxiety amplify my dizziness. The anxiety attacks when waking up and in my sleep have not gone away either but the rest of my life is on track. I even started listening to music and watching series again. AKA doing things I love. Since then I have seen 3 doctors, a psychologist, and my Christian counselor. All of them believe that I should go back to my Duloxetine 30mg. I have until Monday the 5th to decide whether I am going back on the medication or not because my Doctor wants at least 4 weeks to monitor how the reinstatement goes before I move to London. My big fear is that of kindling because I have become very sensitive to the things I consume. I can't drink coffee anymore, and the antihistamine makes me super drowsy and I have since stopped taking them. Sugar also affects me way more. 30mg is the smallest dose of Duloxetine we get here. I am not sure what to do, but I believe everyone has my best interest at heart when they say I need to go back on the antidepressants. TLDR - went off duloxetine CT in Nov/Dec 2023, doctor wants to reinstate back at 30mg now before I move overseas. I think I agree, but I am afraid of kindling.

In May 2023 i stopped taking 5mg Cipralex (which is the uk brand name of Lexapro). I was taking it for 3 months. Here i am, 8 months on having experienced so many withdrawal symptoms. The first few months consisted of panic upon wakening in the morning, burning brain and heightened anxiety. These have all resolved. Most concerning to me, which started in the first few weeks of stopping was my sex drive just turned off. I woke up one morning and it was gone. That part of my body felt disconnected from the rest of me. Over time i am seeing improvements in this area. I am getting windows of being interested in sex where i am getting aroused. At the beginning it was only aroused when touched but i’m noticing i’m getting aroused by simply looking at my partner. But then a wave hits and i’m right back to feeling completely detached from that part of my body again. During a wave i also feel detached from the world. I believe depersonalisation and anhedonia are the terms to sum up how i feel. Its not nice. I understand these symptoms would be classed as PSSD. Ive read some not so pleasant things about this condition which scares me and i find the very fear of it makes it worse and takes me off any track of recovery. I’m in a wave right now, which has probably driven me to write this post. I am constantly thinking if i should reinstate a low dose of the drug as i’m mainly in a wave and finding it so difficult. I have the liquid version so could easily get the low dose (0.5mg). I tried 1mg 5 months ago, panicked, and stopped. But looking back at that day, i went for a walk, i had lots of conversation, colours seemed brighter somehow and i felt like i was coming back to the person i knew. It wasnt all perfect, i felt dizzy, my sleel that night was broken but looking back it was the panic that stopped me from continuing. I wonder if anyone can help me in this decision? To reinstate at 0.5mg or to continue this journey? In summary, i’m 8 months on from a cold turkey stop, my symptoms are brain fog, fatigue, symptoms of post ssri sexual dysfunction, but they do seem to lessen at times. I’m just finding this journey so hard and its getting me very low. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and i wish you all the best in your journeys.

Hi, My name is Kai. I was prescribed three meds in the first day. Those were Abilify, Agotine, and Topiramate. I took them instantly after the meeting with psychiatrist. I was very stressed. I felt not understood. But that wasn't the problem. The problem occured when I took the second dose after few hours. I started feeling a strange amount of satisfaction. It was night, and I felt as if I was in a kind of a transitional state. I remember feeling almost supernatural. There was a different day, which I guess I did almost the same thing after meeting the psychiatrist. I remember it was a day, and the dose might have been changed. Also there might have been added the new pill, Risperidone. I felt great agitation. I could not stop moving. I saw hallucination. I felt my world was melting down. My world was never the same after that. Honestly, I don't remember if those two were the same day or not. And many other things occured in the other days, but those were what happened when I was struck by meds instantly. The other days, I felt also very unreal. I felt my world was changing into something else. Since it was the first time I was using the antipsychotics, I thought this was what it was supposed to be doing. Later, I started losing my musical abilities. It happened gradually. One day suddenly, I simply wasn't able to play anymore. I still cannot play to this day. Before, I was great at many instruments. I was a musician by heart, feeling arts all throughout the world, loving the poetry and literature, and so on. I also loved movies, but those all disappeared. I was somewhere apart from the world I used to be in before. There was no 'me' anymore. No more interest, feelings, thoughts, memories. But I was still able to enjoy movies to some extent until I became bedridden. Being bedridden was when I was completely done in my life. At least that is what I felt. But while I was being bedridden, I slowly recovered in a strange way. It took a long time, and the recovery didn't show any promise of my previous self, I started to feel some normal feelings again, which was not really pleasing to me. I don't know if it was because I was being bedridden, relying on to my family, losing my independence and hope, but the reality felt much worse and resembled that feeling of unfortunate childhood that I've been through. I felt totally immature. I am very sorry my writing doesn't articulate anything good. I have tried to write this introduction since the beginning of this year, but it took so long to even be able to write something that doesn't look terrible. So since I know you, which are great people who chose to help, would kindly write replies to this pitiful writing, and if you do so and ask me for more specifics, I will try my best to tell more about my symptoms and situations. It also takes very long time for me to remember something, including what I ate for breakfast. Thank you.

Hey guys I’m not sure really how to post on this website. Not even sure if this is in the right place. I have been on many different medications in the past two years starting with lexapro on and off from ages 15-23. Never knew anything about withdrawal had no problem stopping anytime I literally just stopped and would get moody for a while and that’s it. All this changed about two years ago had been on for 7 months 20 mg and I took myself off 5mg at a time I don’t remember the gap in between each taper all hell broke loose. Ringing in my ears began then and hasn’t went away I experienced numerous other symptoms, panic attacks. I tried going back on and it didn’t work. I started feeling like I wasn’t real and so many other things so they prescribed me a different med but had bad side effects then another med, then another then another , then another 13 different meds have also retried lexapro 3 times in the course of all these med trials for 2 years. The most recent med was Prozac took it for 4 WEEKS helped my depression I was numb. I didn’t like the way it made me feel I always felt wired like extreme energy( not manic or hypomania) and I felt I had to be doing something my heart would be racing like I was literally on drugs and I developed neck and head jerks. I was only on 5mg mind you. So I’ve been off for 63 days for all of those 63 days plus a few days before (it wasn’t this bad before I completely stopped) I have been getting spasms & stiffness , and ALL OVER MY BODY . Head, face(the worst) , tongue, fingers , toes, chest,back , throat,legs. Before I go on I want to comment there was one day while taking the med my tongue felt funny for a hour but went away and never returned. Back to the spasms and stiffness I’m also getting these weird adrenaline rushes like agitation where I want to jump out of my body, body twitching (extreme) and periods where I feel like I can’t be still and I have to keep stretching my arms and legs & extreme panic & feeling unreal which I’ve been dealing with for a while now. So the doctors don’t know what’s going on I’ve been told it’s withdrawal, it’s tardive dyskinesia, it’s dystonia, its not related to the meds (bullsh*t) ,it’s serotonin syndrome, and last but not least “I don’t know”. My doctor gave me the meds for serotonin syndrome but she’s afraid that if it’s not the case and it’s withdrawal then the meds will make it worse . I have talked to my neurologist he’s at a lost for words im scheduled for an mri and have a referral to a movement disorder specialist. So my question is what do you think is this withdrawal?

Good Day, I'm brand new here. Was on 20 mg Prozac since approx 1991. Cut to 10mgs approx 3 years ago. No noticeable impact. Asked my GP (DO) about dropping it completely in March. He said it was small enough dose to just stop. I did. There have been tears as I seem to be reconnecting with feelings. Not a bad thing. However, across the emotional spectrum I would describe emotions and anxiety as going from a previous '2x' status to an 'x squared' range. Everything is more sensitive. It's been 9 months cold turkey. I almost called GP to restart last month. There have been some unusual triggers, plus the status of world we are living in also adds angst. Many times in the recent weeks I've thought, 'What was I thinking here about coming off of this?' Now reading about tapers I see they are more gradual. However being months out now I definitely dont want to go back. However the struggle is real. Looking for comments, advise, encouragement, general thoughts of helpful nature. God bless you all! Age mid 60s...

Hello, I would like to introduce myself. I need a lot of help and advice on my situation as it's somewhat complicated. I was on Cipralex for 4.5 years. It stopped working as well and I was extremely emotionally blunted so I went to a psychiatrist for help. He increased my 10 mg dose to 15 mg's. I immediately developed severe suicidal thoughts and what I now know is akathisia. I lowered the dose down to 10 again until I saw a new psychiatrist. He increased my dose to 20 mg's of Cipralex in a week. All hell broke even more loose. I believe I developed some serotonin syndrome and lowered my dose to 15 in one week and back to 10 another week. I decided after this hell that I wanted to taper off as quickly as possible. Obviously I didn't know then what I know now. I jumped off 5 mg's of Cipralex and cross tapered to 15 mg's of Mirtazapine as I had lost 25 pounds in a month and had severe akathisia. I stopped the Mirtazapine after 5 days as it was a terrifying experience. I remained medication free until after 4 weeks the akathisia creeped back in. I went back on Mirtazapine at 7.5 mg's and almost unalived myself twice. I entered inpatient care at that point and lowered my Mirtazapine to 3.75 mg's. They put me on Pregabalin(Lyrica) which I'm now off as of November 2023. I should also add I took Ativan intermittently from May-October so I was often confused on what role that played in my akathisia. I had a big 2-week window recently but I'm now in a vicious wave. I want off the Mirtazapine because I feel it's been causing my anhedonia and DP/DR. My question is should I start tapering Mirtazapine? I still have akathisia and it's not helping with anything other than increased appetite at times. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi everyone, Happy New Year! I came across this site by reading the Reddit thread about amitriptyline so I’m hoping you can help me before I go out of my mind with worry. I started suffering from insomnia a couple of years ago - I never had trouble falling asleep but would wake up at 3 am and not be able to get back to sleep - but it got worse in August 2023 and my GP put me on amitriptyline. I started at 10mg but it did nothing so she increased the dose to 20mg a night. When I fell asleep, I slept fine but it would always take me ages to get to sleep so I didn’t love it as I felt like I had just changed the insomnia round to pre-sleep rather than after some sleep, if that makes sense. I also started to put weight on and I started to snore, which disturbed my husband. I therefore decided to come off amitriptyline. My GP told me when I started taking it that I could stop at any time…so this is what I did. No taper, just cold turkey. That was on 12th or 13th December 2023. Since then I have had a constellation of odd symptoms that have got me feeling very worried and anxious, especially as I already suffer quite badly with health anxiety. It started with extreme itching in the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet as well as in my eyes with a stuffy nose and a cough. At first I thought it was related to dairy because it came on after drinking coffee and a cup of tea with milk and sugar. It then became a bit more generalised - coming on after eating a store bought sandwich, for example. I went to my local pharmacy and they told me to take fexofenadine 120mg once a day, which does seem to have helped the itching. Since that point, the itching has turned into a burning/tingling/prickly sensation in my cheeks predominantly although I have also felt it all over my body. My cheeks sometimes go pink when the pain is really bad. This was especially acute after eating some cheese at Christmas - something I have done always and never had a reaction to. I have had sweats and chills and found it very hard to regulate my body temperature. I’ve had diahorrea, nausea (both pre and post eating), a cough/wheezing (which came on after cheesegate), acid reflux, hearing my heartbeat pounding in my ears as well as insane amounts of anxiety. I read somewhere that amitriptyline is a histamine moderator so I wonder if some of the allergy symptoms are being caused by the sudden rush of histamine in my system? I always react badly to mosquito bites so have wondered for a while if I might be a bit histamine sensitive. I also read that GI and GERD symptoms can come from amitriptyline withdrawal which might explain the nausea, diahorrea, cough etc. I guess what I am looking for here is to see if this rings true for anyone else before I lose my mind with worry. I saw my GP today and she told me that it could be any number of scary things so now I’m doubting the assumption that the symptoms are withdrawal-related with the associated hike in my anxiety levels. She is doing blood tests so we’ll see what those come back with. Any advice or pearls of wisdom you have would be very gratefully received! Thank you so much in advance.