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Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!

Hi I am new here. I have been tapering from 75 mg Zoloft, 1250 Depakote, and 30 mg Abilify. I know those are some heavy-duty dosages. I am ready to get off of these meds, but I do not want to go too fast (and I know I have.) Every four days I've been lowering dosages. I know it's too quick a taper and will slow down. Thanks

I am writing this as an addendum to My Story which details what ADs did to my life and discusses to a degree how I got my life back. However, I am writing this to elaborate on what certain problems where posed both physically and logistically after I stopped taking medications. Please keep in mind that I went COLD TURKEY and did not taper, which differentiates me from many people on here; also my story took place over 10 years ago, so my memory is not is 100% clear which means it is hard for me to apply a quantitative number to aspects of my physical recovery. In 2002 I quit cold turkey from a drug cocktail that included an Antidepressant (Celexa), an Antipsychotic (Zyprexa), an Anticonvulsant (Depakote), a Benzo (Ativan), a Z-Drug (Ambien) and a prescription diet pill (Phenteramine – given to me by my pdoc to lose the 60 pounds of weight I gained from the other weight gaining medications). The physical ramifications of quitting cold turkey where hard core, and lasted to the best of my recollection in hard core form for six months. These were: insomnia, exhaustion, akathesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, nausea and vomiting, total loss of appetite and over-sensitivity to certain substances. There were also mental symptoms: overwhelming memories, mania, depression, over-emotional reactions to certain situations (e.g. crying or extreme anger) and PTSD from the whole ordeal. It is important to note that many of these symptoms continued to linger in a much lesser form for several years. I know that many of you would like a firm number of how long I suffered, but I cannot put a number on it because I started my recovery in 2002 – 10 years ago. This is further complicated by the fact that to get through the exhaustion from WD, I smoked cigarettes anywhere from one to one and a half packs for many years after. Since smoking can mimic some of the symptoms of WD (loss of appetite, headaches, mania, anger) it is hard to delineate what was what. However, I do believe that smoking provided mental focus that I would not have had otherwise. I finally quit smoking in 2007, five years after stopping meds. It was an odd thing, I just stopped one day and no longer wanted to smoke anymore. Maybe this was a sign of my recovery, but it may also have been a reaction to the fact that because of NY laws and my husband, if I needed to smoke I had to go outside. Smoking outside in the rain or cold was getting stupid. I do believe that part of this was a sign of final recovery – I didn’t need to mask symptoms anymore. So if this is true, and I had to put a number on it – I would say I battled with minor symptoms and PTSD for five years So what problems was I left with after drugs had stolen my life? And how did I regain control? Here is a list: Weight Gain A ruined job history A ruined credit history from filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Over $20K in debt to the IRS plus two tax liens PTSD Estrangement from my family I was fully aware of the PTSD, and would think on occasion of reaching out to a therapist. However, because the whole ordeal left me extremely suspicious of the whole field of mental health, I declined to reach out to anyone. So based on this list, I will try to tackle how I recovered in each area: 1) Weight Gain: I lost my appetite during WD and I also became a huge walker. In one year I lost sixty pounds with little effort. I did eat, but I ate very small meals, 200 kcal 3-5 times a day, mostly high protein and I ate an apple a day and I drank a TON of herbal tea. 2) A ruined job history: I had been fired from three high paying jobs, all in IT. I had no references, a job gap of four years, but I had good computer and office skills so I reached out to temporary agencies. I worked as a temp for many years, in the NY/NJ area only taking jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I built up my resume this way. Today, I list those jobs as “contract” and I explain that I liked the flexibility of “contract work” and that I was in the process of getting married and building a home with my husband, no one questions it. 3) A ruined credit history: I got a copy of all three of my credit reports and joined a credit law forum. I found that there were many examples where creditors where breaking either or both the FCRA or FDCPA laws on my credit report. I also hired an attorney. The attorney got 50% of it cleared up, I got the other 50% cleared up myself by tenacious letter writing and disputing with the Credit Bureaus. The forum I used had a great database of creditors who gave people with Bankruptcy on their reports a card with a small credit line; I applied to all of these and rebuilt my credit this way. When I married my husband in 2005, he added me as an authorized user to his accounts, giving me a longer and stronger credit history. 4) Tax Debt and Liens: After hiding from the IRS for several years, I contacted them and got on an installment plan. Because I was not working at the time I called them, my payment amount was on $185 for $20K+ in debt. I paid it faithfully for years; in October 2011 I was paid in full. Because the IRS has a law that you cannot pay more than 25% in interest and penalties of the actual tax debt, a good $10K got knocked off the total bill. But I still had two tax liens on my credit report. I did some research and found out about a service called the Tax Advocate service which is run through the IRS. I contacted my local Tax Advocate. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the details of how I argued my case to get two tax liens released, but I did and in 2005 poof they were gone from my life and my credit report. If anyone needs more info, I would be happy to answer questions later in this post. 5) PSTD: I just endured this, but chose to embrace anger over victimhood. I was one extremely angry person for many years and I ruminated and had nightmares for years. I often thought about writing the SHRINK who did this to me, but refrained. One thing that I learned from this whole ordeal was to trust in my instincts which was empowering and allowed me to pick and chose my relationships with people and situations that were good for me. I let go of many friends who were not healthy for me. 6) Estrangement from my family: In 2003 I was estranged from my entire family (father, mother and brother). Today I am by choice still estranged from by father and brother. This is because I realize it is futile to ever expect them to change and to stay in relationship with them will only hurt me. I have however, repaired my relationship with my mother. I am extremely happy to share that six months ago I convinced her to move from Illinois to New York and reclaim her life. She tapered off multiple pmeds herself around 2007 and was left with two medical conditions diabetes and downbeat nystagmus from taking lithium and depakote for many years. She lived alone, my brother who lived close by was not helping her, and she was not getting the proper medical attention so she agreed with me. Today she lives 2 miles away from me, we are extremely close and I have helped her get her life back. My husband and she adore each other. So that is how I put the pieces of my life back after being devastated by polypharmacy. And I joined this forum because I think it is important that people know that taking these medications can be extremely harmful on so many levels. I hope this information helps someone out there. Please feel free to post any questions you may have. I wish all of you the best and trust that if I could restore my life which was utterly devastated by psychiatry, you can too.

Hello there i need help. this is about IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and i don't know if i have it because i'm not yet consult to GI right now due to covid-19, i haven't been diagnosed with proper health assessment or else, so this might possible becomes other disease, but i've precise symptoms which is so fits with the IBS. Right now, i'm having problem with my digestive system,it hall hapepened because i went to mental hospital and i was prescribed with Antipsychotic and Anticonvulsant. My history : I took Abilify (aripriprazole), Depakote ER, and Clozapine. i was hospitalized there and never been on psychiatrist drugs before. I have very bad reaction to this drugs so i stopped CT, i'm on the drugs for about 28 days, been off for more than a month now. They forced me to drink all the drugs. the moment i start to use the drugs (since the first day) i got terrible diarrhoea and they gave me medications. i'm losing appetite, i can't even eat a table spoon of dishes & loose more than half stones, 10kg with pacing and severe restless leg, everytime i try to eat it's always causing me vomits. on the next 2nd week i got constipation and other symptoms such as restless, pacing, and losing appetite it didn't go away. they gave me proper menus for such digestive disease and i start to getting better, but i still have trouble with foods. I was on mental hospital for 14 days, after that i went home and consumed all my prescribed drugs for next 14 days like they've told me, but i stopped all meds CT after that. On the First 2 days after i stopped i start to having nausea, vomits, and i went to ER. From there i was hospitalized for 5 days, and they gave me anti-nausea drugs, CT scan result shows nothing wrong with me. after that i'm feeling better later after about 2-3 weeks. weird thing is i don't have anxiety before, after consuming those drugs i have terrible anxieties and soon i realized that i have GERD too ( it must be really really fun) followed by bloating and unable to eat. i was on good conditions about 1-2 weeks ago, but 2 days ago i accidentally ate onion and garlic contained foods, i had constipation and my stomach becomes growling every day, it's not like the usual. i started to realize "Holly cow it's different", i'm never ever go through this before. after about 2-3 days it still didn't go away, until now. sometimes it worsening sometimes not. sometimes i got diarrhoea and sometimes constipates too, what concerned me the most is that i have a high risks diseases, but i start to google my symptoms and discuss it then i found the answer it was probably due to IBS, 100% sure. i'm scared that if i have developed this from the drugs and i heard that lots of people dealing with this for their entire life, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do. any suggestion? regarding to faeces i have mucus as well and small amount of blood. i don't know, i'm not sure. i also consuming Yakult (probiotics), green beans and etc that can possibly help my constipation, but now i'm having diarrhoea. please any help for this syndrome? thanks.

This link is to a Neurology Journal for a study done in 1988 regarding withdrawal from Carbamazepine (Tegretol), Sodium Valproate (Depakote), and phenytoin. https://jnnp.bmj.com/content/jnnp/51/7/924.full.pdf

Hi everyone, I've been a long time recipient of the psychiatric system since I believe 2008/2009. Eventually, I was labelled schizophrenic (and recently labelled "anxiety disorder"). Of course, I am very skeptical of the psychiatry paradigm. I totally forgot my medication past but I have been on Risperdal before, which is all I remember. Right now, the psych drugs I am on are 1mg Benztropine (mornings), Divalproex 500mg S,T,Th,Sat (night), Divalproex 750mg M,W,F (night), and Olanzapine 10mg daily. I used to but stopped Minoxidil. I also take Omega 3 fish oil and vitamin d3. My moods have been usually stable. I have been hospitalized in the past but been stable for at most 7 years. I do have somewhat of a problem with my sleep as I stay up late (and many times have difficulty falling asleep) many times past midnight, and get out of bed late usually 11am or even past noon. I used to run and do exercises but have stopped recently. Sometimes, I do have some anger and frustration. I want to eventually lower my dosages to the lowest possible if not completely. I was wondering which of the psychotropic medications should I lower first? Should I lower one at a time or do a combination of lowering? I read a bit about multiple drug tapering on this site. I read the Inner Compass Project site. I've visited various blogs. I also looked elsewhere. I read that benztropine is not a benzodiazepine but an anticholinergic antiparkinson agent. Is that true? I think I already messed up with my doctor. She has never had a patient who has deprescribed completely and probably wants me on the medication for life. I also have no allies in my family as they are in the medical profession, have seen me at my worst, and they probably believe that any form of psychiatry skepticism is anti-medicine/anti-science. Thanks for any constructive help, WishforBest

Hello, I've just recently found this site and kept reading and absorbing all kinds of information. I am so glad to read so many inspiring stories and would like to share my son’s story. On Nov 2022 last year, my son, Gogo, a recent college graduate and athletic, who has been suffering insomnia since pandemic began was put in Psychiatric hospital for 3 nights after emotional breakdown in public place. Police said he trespassed and his speech was not coherent. He was prescribed Risperidone 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night, 250mg Depakote in the morning and 500mg Depakote at night, as well as 7.5mg Mirtazapine in the evening for helping sleep. When he was discharged from hospital, we saw his speech was disorganized and had deliriums kind of symptom most in the earlier morning and evening sparsely. I thought it was due to the shock by police and medications. So I tried to reduce his med several time, but the symptoms didn’t go away. I paid to ask online psychiatric doctor about it and I got an answer said he most likely has schizoaffective disorder. After I was convinced that his breakdown most likely caused by his sleep deprivation and self medication with recreational drugs, I become more adapted with his continuation of those medications. But I don’t think he has schizophrenia. He still not has any diagnosis. He started to sleep better with those meds but most of day time is tired and lethargic. He was not doing well for his online class because of the lethargy caused by the meds. He was also diagnosed with mild sleep apnea short after discharging from hospital. We don’t have psychiatric doctor for almost 4 month after discharge from the hospital. But we tried to tape Resperidone especially, after consulting a friend who is neuron doctor, but failed, scared by the relapse of symptoms like self occupation and mood issue. I know now from here that the taping is way too fast. We are like walking in the fine line or water with medication management, and still now. His PCP only manage his Mirtazapine. I’m going to tell later what his PCP’s taping strategy for Mirtazapine. On 2/26 still suffering depression and sadness, and noticed that his chest is painful, Gogo insisted not taking any medication. I learned some knowledge about withdraw symptom from online, but find noting about detailed strategy. So my son and I agreed to stop taking the morning med. For the first 2 weeks, he become lively and being more like old himself I know, and had lots of self reflection of the past but more connected, even sometime he experienced strong emotions. But on 3/15, he has another emotional breakdown after visiting a friend. We decided he was not appropriate to drive and take him back in our own car. After this incident, with my knowledge from online study and search, I knew that we may withdraw too fast. Then he started to take the morning meds every other day. I know now it’s another mistake. We did that, and only realize not so late that it make thing worse in a few days. It seems fine for the first few days, then one day he insisted to drive himself without abling to speak logically and express his feeling. He was indecisive when driving. We reinstate to the original dose fully. Actually, I know now that we could have reinstate to lower doses, but we have no guidance. His pcp is not able to offer any help with his psychiatric meds except for Mirtazapine. I just wish we could find the site earlier. Only when I included the word ‘tape” instead “reduce” or “withdraw" in my search that I found this site. On 2/26, Following his PCP taping strategy for Mirtazapine, he started to take 7.5mg mirtazapine every other night for 4 weeks, till 3/26, then 7.5mg twice a week for 3 weeks till 4/18. His sleep seems fine with every other day’s 7.5mg mirtazapine. However, during the twice of week 7.5mg mirtazapine period, he started waking up in the middle of night because almost at the same time he started to taping 250mg evening Depakote on 3/30 following a RN's advice. I think that is another mistake to tape the evening Depakote first. We also finally saw a Psychiatrist on March, who recommend my son to take all 2mg Resperidone in the evening to avoid his daytime lethargy. We are reluctant to do that considering his most recent unstable situation. The Psychiatrist talked to me and asked why, I said I am afraid that the moving medication around the day might make my son unstable again. I shared my son’s med log to her and it seems she never read it. She also email me that she never heard of Resperidone withdraw symptom. She then said how about reduce the morning to 0.5mg. In a mind that want to tape all meds, we took it as she want to tape my son’s Resperidone. So Guoguo took 0.5mg in the morning and Kept 1mg in the evening. It came strong resistance from his Grandma. So I waited for few days before I reduce the morning dose, started reduction on the next Monday after seeing the psy doctor. During the following Thursday appointment with psy doc, my son told her he is doing fine after 3 days 0.5mg Resperidone in the morning . I again see my son begin to come back to be himself, having back his sense of humor, etc. But the weekend is a mix feeling. We went to outing, he was happy and enjoying the trip with friend. But on the way back, he started to show self-occupied without talking here and there, easy to get angry with small things. We start to reinstate his 1mg Resperidone the next morning. During the next appointment, we found out that his psy doc actually want to him to take 1.5mg Resperidone in the evening. She did NO intent to tape. I was so frustrated that why she did not emphasize that to keep the current daily doses unchanged. I also blamed myself for not asking for clarification with his Doc because I was so eager to get him out of those meds. She said we could continue as we have done like 2mg twice a day. She was also very unhappy we didn’t follow her advise, as well seeing an RN. My son did not have an appointment with her last week. I think we are going to find another one. We went to RN again, she gave us 3 options, 1) Go back to take 7.5mg Mirtazapine in the evening or 3.75mg 2) Reinstate the original Depakote of 750mg a day. 3) Move the morning 250mg Depakote into the evening, no Depakote in the morning. Concerning with moving the medication from morning to evening might make my son unstable, we choose to add 3.75mg mirtazapine because my mom is doing really well on that dose for a year and eventually taped off. A few nights he seems well with 3.75mg mirtazapine not waking up, but felt very tired and sleepy in the day. He stopped taking for few days because of that. But that makes him woke up in the middle of night. We also add megnesium 150mg 3 times a day, along with 50mg B6 twice a day and 1.5mg melatonia in the bed time. He went back to 3.75mg mirtazapine again and had only few night not waking up. One night he is so tired and not want to have Mirtazapine and any supplements. But I observe that he is doing fine when waking up. He had two nights not having mirtazapine, his mood seems fine. It seems for me he woke up feel good for those 2 nights without taking mirtazapine. Even he woke up earlier, but he has quality sleep in the first half of night.(we use apple watch to monitor sleep cycle, it’s said AW is close to EEG study). The day before yesterday, he woke up 5pm and stay in the bed for an hour and got up with good mood and took a nap in the afternoon. But he is not having a good sleep yesterday with 3.3g mirtazapine. It was 3.3mg because he did not take mirtazapine the previous 2 days. It’s the right dose? I read here that we need to keep the same dose and same time, some time we dont have the medication at the same time specially in the morning as my son is very hard to get up in the morning becasue of sleep issue. My son really wants to tape all of his medications, which make him gaining almost 20lb for an athletic as him in 3 months. That’s why he agreed to do Keto diet on 3/20. But after the outing incident in front of his friend, he told me he might need take all these med for his life. I said to my son that you don’t need to. I’m sure you will have good sleep without any of those med some time soon and enjoy your life drug free. When my son is stable with Depakote and his sleep, I believe he can start with taping Resperidone. Now just stuck with this Mirtazapine issue and sleep issue, do you think Gogo should take half of the 7.5mg or reinstate to 7.5mg or just stop taking Mirtazapine completely. I'm reluctant to let my son go back to original dose of 7.5mg, which make him gaining so much weight and sleepy during the day. Or take one of the NP advice to keep current doses unchanged and move morning 250mg to evening to make 500mg Depakote in the evening? Or move the Resperidone around to the evening to make him sleep better and less sedated in the day? BTW, I got a jewry scale from the recommendation link here for Mirtazapine 3.75mg, it rounds to 0.0mg, and too sensitive, reading often changes. I still have no clue how to do the liquid form for small doses, any advise will be helpful. Thank you for bearing me and appreciate so much for your help. Best Wishes, Dshine

3 benzo tapers since 2010. Got COVID last April and brain freaked out with DR/DP. Plan was to go on 4 mg Ativan for a couple of weeks and then cross over the Klonopin but it didn't work. So I'm intolerance and been up and down on other things in poly drugged now with 375 mg depakote and 100 mg trazadone. Have not gotten very far on a liquid micro taper off the Ativan and I can't figure out how to do the taper off of depakote with the sprinkles. I need a coach on that. Major brain fog, fear, losing cognition and memory, terror, DR and paralyzed by my brain.

Hey all, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in early 2018 and have gone through a few psyche drugs. Namely 3mg Risperidone and Depakote (the mg is escaping me).. i went through a few hospitalizations going down completely off the Depakote.. then switching completely to Abilify.. starting off at around 10mg i believe.. Now I'm bumped up to 30mg. I live a pretty boring life at home mostly... and because of this have always desired to get off of meds but have been very cautious about doing so and wanted to do so in a way that is healthy... I was curious for those taking abilify: Is it abnormal to be on a single dose (it's the only drug I'm on really..) of 30mg abilify? I believe it is and am starting to think that maybe it's not a good thing.. which makes me even more motivated to taper off .. at least to a healthier dose of it. If it is why would any doctor want to put me on 30? - Eli

BavarianPH Started tapering over 6 months ago at 20 mg/ml of escitalopram oral solution. At first at 5% taper, actually 1 ml taper per week with very little withdrawals. At 3 ml it became more difficult, got to 2 ml back to 3 ml, got to 1.75 ml and experience the most intense withdrawals, extreme anxiety, fear, paranoia, close to a mental break. I went back up to 3 ml, then 5 ml, added Benadryl which counteracted withdrawal, but not for long. Was forced to go on .5 mg clonazepam 2x daily which worked but caused irritability, anger, mania, compulsion to talk a lot. So now I try .125 mg clonazepam. Tried to get a hold of my NP psychiatrist, not available until next Monday. I completely tapered off clonazepam 1 year ago and went from 200 mg lamotrigine to 100 mg. I am also on 137 mcg Synthroid, 500 mg Metformin, 300 mg gabapentin. Now I am afraid to taper escitalopram. I don't know at what dose to start, how to taper and for how long a period. This really shocked me. I have to take care of my wife who ended up in hospital 4 times, mostly because of accidental sudden stop of Celexa causing psychosis, then hospital not telling me all the meds they gave her on recovery, then she was put on wrong meds, and then got cold turkeyed on nortriptyline which caused a total breakdown and horrible rage, she was put on antipsychotics and depakote, did not tell me about the depakote and ended in hospital again. Finally, she was put back on escitalopram, rexulti and depakote, she had intense spasms, until I got her on seroquel and off of escitalopram. All this could have been avoided if the hospitals would have told me all the meds given. And if she had gone back on celexa. At that time over 2 years ago I had no knowledge of psychotropics. I studied up to 4 hours or more a day to figure out what happened, and found a totally mismanaged mental health system, unbelievable lack of accurate information and diagnosis. I need a lot of help not just for me but my wife who is so drugged up she can't even think. Please help!

kindled after 3 successful tapers 2010-2020. On nothing until Covid when I developed major DR/DP. Put on 4 MG. Ativan and couldnt cross over to taper, and have been sitting in tolerance as docs tried on e thing after another (it's been a year of tolerance). Doc tried 750 mg of depakote in January and came down to 375 by april (after going up and down). I am losing all memory and brain function--was feeling that way before the depakote too. Desperate. DOn't know how to get off depakote. Have the capsules and the sprinkles. No way to compound and every day I'm losing more understanding of how to do anything. Please help. If I hold my ativan taper and taper depakote, won't that be like ripping the ativan away? That's what I was told. Thanks

Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.

Hello everyone, hope you are having a good day. My name is David i am 33years old and i have 17 year history of intermittent alcohol and drug abuse (cocaine, marihuana). I have also been using sertraline for 7 years (for my alcohol problem) which i stopped cold turkey in 2017 (without major issues). My current problem is that i was abusing Xanax for alcohol withdrawals last 2,5 years in high doses and from January 2022 daily in doses between 2-8mg. I stopped Xanax CT on 3rd May alongside with alcohol and cocaine for 6 weeks and reinstated on 30mg Valium under doctors (addiction specialist) supervision. She tappered me way too fast from 30mg to 0,5mg in 2.5months and i was in a terrible terrible shape left with 90+ symptoms. I also developed a paradoxical reaction to Valium and could not updosed so i decided to jump. After 3 days i was having visual halucinations and was totally disoriented on top of my 90 + symptoms, so my mother drove me to psych ward, because i was living alone and she was scared because i could't take careof myself any longer and lost almost 90 pounds in 5 months. I was in psych ward for 7 weeks where they have put me on 375mg of Seroquel and 750mg of depakote. They stabilised me and lot of my symptoms improved. I am nowhere near healed, i still still have about 20-30 ongoing symptoms. I was severely kindled by intermitent Xanax and alcohol usage and mostly with my reinstatement, where every dosage drop was harder than my CT experience. I am alcohol and drug free for 6+ months and benzofree 8+ weeks. I know now, that my only chance to get out of this mess and have a normal life is to abstain from all drugs and meds for the entire life. I am here for support, and tapering advices for meds that they have put me on psych ward. I am also offering support to anyone suffering from withdrawals or any other crisis. I hope we are all going to make it and have a normal life without such an undesrcibeable suffering. Stay strong.💪 (Sorry for my english it's not my first language)

Okay, I am a newbie to posting online and have spent the last 2 months searching Google since this happened to me, so please bear with me if this seems a bit long. I just want to get my story out there so people can see what has happened to me and offer any possible advice. In October 2017, My GP put me on Lamictal for mood and 22.5mg Restoril for sleep. I have been on Restoril since 11/2016 roughly. At the time I had a diagnosis of BP2. My pdoc at the time 2 weeks later switched me from Lamictal to Lithium by tapering the Lamictal from 150 mg to 100mg then 50mg every three days, he felt it would be more effective. I went up to a dose of 1200mg of Lithium but it made me sick so we moved down to 900mg, which seemed to be effective. He added Latuda 40mg but it made me irritable, so he switched that to 5mg Abilify in 12/2017, no taper from the Latuda. That combo seemed to work for a while but then I felt emotionally blunted and numb, so my pdoc then lowered the dose to 2.5mg. I felt better so I then (stupidly) quit CT the Abilify in May of this year. At the same time he also tapered me off of Lithium which I was scheduled to stop taking on 6/27 due to constant diarrhea. He then prescribed me Klonopin for anxiety. I started feeling too high from it and was feeling depressed, so about a week and a half later was put on Lexapro. The Lexapro made me feel extremely sleepy and out of it, took from 6/18/28-6/21/18, stopped taking. Pdoc then switched me to Effexor XR 37.5mg on 6/22/18, felt extremely depressed and anxious, did not take Klonopin or Valium. I had little to not appetite and was not very talkative. 6/25-6/28/18 Felt much lest depressed, better than I had in the past month, taking Klonopin as needed for anxiety. Stopped the Effexor today and the Lithium. Started Paxil 10mg the same day. At this point still taking 22.5mg Restoril. I noticed since I started the Lexapro and stopped, I had been getting 3-4 hours sleep and started to feel thirsty. When I started Paxil on 6/29, it was at night and I woke up several times and had stomach cramps. Still had a stomach ache the next morning and felt depressed. Depression and brain fog got worse over next few days, the dose was increased to 20mg after 5 days. I would wake up with sweats in the middle of the night so on 7/4 at the advice of my pdoc covering on-call doc I stopped the Paxil because I became suicidal. At this point as of 7/8 all I was on was on Restoril for sleep. I noticed tinnitus and felt extremely anxious and regular stress almost gave me a panic attack. At this point I was having the following symptoms: Tinnitus, anxiety, depression, insomnia, feeling thirsty and dehydrated, heart palpitations, brain fog, stress intolerance. Restoril seemed to have no effect now. Pdoc prescribed me Ativan for anxiety and I told him I want to taper off of Restoril since not working any more. He advised me to taper by taking 22.5mg 3 days, then 15mg 4 days, 7.5mg 3 days, then stop. He also prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep. I noticed the Ativan raised my heart rate. On 7/16, as I started to doze off I got a brain zap. Ever since this day I never get sleepy and have TOTAL insomnia, can never fall asleep on my own without some kind of medication. Noticed increased palpitations and severe dehydration. Hands and feet sweating. On 7/18 I had a tingling sensation in my brain and then blurred vision in my right eye. I also noticed a weird smell of some kind of chemical or paint on 7/19. On 7/21 they advised me to switch from Trazodone to Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep again and also take Lunesta 3mg if needed (prescribed by a sleep specialist). Still not getting sleep. Now at this point I notice blurred vision and loss of appetite. On 7/24 my pdoc wanted to put me on Zyprexa for sleep but I refused. He prescribed Lorazepam to take as needed for anxiety. On 7/25 high blood pressure, then after then went back down to normal. At this point I feel like I am dying. My sleep specialist tells me to try cognitive behavioral therapy. (Yeah right, Been there, done that!) 7/27-7/30 I had been taking Lunesta for sleep and Ativan for anxiety (pdoc switched again because Lorazepam was not working), but sleep doc said long taper not needed to get off Ativan, withdrawals are psychological and not physical nothing will happen to me if I do not sleep and I don’t have to worry about withdrawals. 7/31 had muscle jerks when going to bed. Lunesta stopped working so GP said try Hydroxyzine and then Trazadone again if Hydroxyzine doesn't work. Of course this did not work, so my pdoc put me on Ambien CR 6.25mg and 1500mg Depakote as a mood stabilizer. I tried this for a few days and still had trouble sleeping, getting 2-3 hours. GP Prescribed Seroquel for sleep. Took 8/16-8/17, 50mg and 25mg respectively, and did not sleep for more than 1-2 hours. Now I am seeing a NEW pdoc, she has me tapering off of the 50mg Seroquel, taking 10mg Doxepin at night, 5-15mg Melatonin as needed, I am still on the 1500mg Depakote. I have totally gotten off of then Ativan by tapering using diazepam. Each day I feel like I am worse than the day before. I am trying to figure out where I go from here.... stay on the current dose of Seroquel and try to reinstate the drug that may have caused the HORRIBLE withdrawals and total insomnia I am experiencing now (either Abilify or Paxil), or follow my new pdoc advice and taper the Seroquel and see how it goes (whilst adding the doxepin and Melatonin, breaking the keep it simple rule)? I am desperate and totally sleep deprived and getting worse by the day, which is why at this point I think she is just trying to get me to sleep. I even have an EEG next week to check for problems there. Thanks for reading. Kevie

Hello everybody. I am a 54 year old male living in Europe,( nordic countries). I was unfortunately having a manic episode in august-september 2019 after being healthy for 12 years, and not using any medicines then. I was prescribed Risperidon, which I used for 3 months, first 3 mg for about 5-6 weeks, then 2 mg for 4 weeks, then 1 mg for 2-3 weeks. Then I stopped Risperidon. I didn't realise when taking it, but afterwards I did realise that it caused me to have heart problems, persistent atrial fibrillation. Before that I never had any heart problems in my life, not a single time, no palpitations ever. Later, I've had two cardioversions, and have been in regular sinus rhythm since June 2020, but I am using heart medications for it,( tambocor and metoprolol). While using Risperidon autumn 2019, I was experiencing depression,( which i had a feeling was caused by the medication). I went to a mental hospital in February 2020, stayed there for 10 days( I was not psychotic). There I was prescribed Deprakine,(Depakote) and zyprexa 10 mg. I stopped zyprexa when returning home, and after a while Depakote too. But I restarted Depakote march 2020 due to anxiety and used it to June 2020, about 3 months). The dose was 1000mg,( 1300 mg one week). Of course Risperidon destroyed my libido, but it returned 3 months after I stopped it. However I didn't realise that Depakote would also destroy my libido and sex life. That I knew again afterwards after doing some research about it. Now 7 months after stopping Depakote libido and sexuality has not returned. I am also feeling depressed. I think Depakote caused this, has anybody experienced something of the same?.I also experience anhedonia, I am not the person I used to be. I think Risperidon caused some kind of autonomic dysfunction, and Depakote again made it worse. If I had knew about the side effects of Depakote I never would have taken it, ( the same goes for Risperidon, I would have stopped it sooner). I am curious, have anybody had these experiences, and have you recovered?. I hope that I could get my life back.

Hi, Im Claire from Irland . My Dr. put me on depacote/ Epilim 3 weeks ago. Its not the right med , side effects wise. He said I can simply stop ( 500mg) I just wanted to double check with you guys because a couple of days ago I took 300 and two days later I had anxiety all day. Thanks in advance.

Hi All! Just wanted to say I've been scouring this site for advice from people who have gone through tapering before, and have found the advice here invaluable. I wish I knew about it sooner because it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Here is my history: I had been an extremely anxious child, kind of a hypochondriac, and extremely sensitive. In 2000 when I was 15 years old I was diagnosed with major depression, and had some psychotic episodes (mostly paranoia). During this time, my parents gave me some of my dad's medications (I am not sure which ones) which may have exacerbated the situation. After two weeks, I started on 20 mg of Paxil and 25 mg of Seroquel in 2000. Tapered off of Seroquel quickly after a week or so, stayed on the 20 mg of Paxil until 2007. Cold turkey off of Paxil for 9 months - experienced a number of side effects - head zaps, mood swings, irrational behavior, hypomania. After 9 months, reinstated 20 mg of Paxil, was on 40 mg for a few weeks. Saw my Pdoc and she told me to go on 10 mg Paxil, 50 mg of Seroquel, and 250 mg of Depakote for my new bipolar diagnosis. I stayed on this until summer of 2014 when I tried weaning off of Paxil to 5mg. Within 2 or 3 months I started feeling hopeless and depressed even with the Seroquel and Depakote. Went to Pdoc, he told me my depression was returning, and so I reinstated to 10mg. In March of 2015, I switched from 10 mg of Paxil to 10 mg of Prozac by adding 10 mg of Prozac for 2 weeks, cutting down the Paxil to 5 mg in another two weeks, and then completely off the Paxil in another two weeks. I experienced some minor depression for a few days. I didn't know I was experiencing withdrawal at the time. In May of 2015, I weaned off the Depakote with a schedule from Pdoc from 250mg to 125 mg in two weeks, then off completely two weeks after that. I didn't experience any debilitating withdrawal symptoms with Depakote, except one day of diarrhea which could have also been food poisoning. On 9/9/15 I started tapering off of Seroquel from 50 mg to 25 mg which was my Pdoc's tapering schedule. The night of the cut, I immediately experienced insomnia and got a few hours of in and out sleep. After about 3 or 4 days I got a little bit more sleep and was feeling a lot sharper and less sluggish. I realized that the Seroquel was what was blunting my emotions and contributing to extreme apathy. I was also sleeping way too much and feeling groggy the next day. So when I went off of it, I felt amazing. After about 4 days, I cut the half into another half (12.5 mg), didn't get much sleep but still felt sharp, but experienced cold sweats. Some anxiety started to creep in as well. In my anxiety, I decided I wanted to get off completely, and so I didn't take it that night and had the worst insomnia I'd ever had. I slept for maybe 20 or 30 minutes. The next day I was having trouble regulating body temperature, had chills and sweats, and felt like all my nerve endings were raw and exposed. I reinstated to 12.5 mg and felt immediate relief in my withdrawal symptoms the next day. A couple of days on 12.5 mg wasn't cutting it, so I went back up to 25mg. I was beginning to feel extremely anxious and depressed in the morning, and had mini panic attacks during my lunch breaks at work. I decided to go back up to 35 mg, which is where I am now. 35 mg of Seroquel and 10 mg of Prozac. I am feeling pretty stable these past two days after reinstating the 35mg of Seroquel, still early morning disturbances and manageable levels of anxiety and depression in the morning. I usually feel much better by noon. I do still have dizziness and headaches as well. I am now 29 years old, have a 9-5 job, work out regularly (4-6 times a week), and am eating as well as I can. I am taking no supplements. This forum has been extremely helpful to me and was instrumental in my reinstating. I have often been too stubborn, thinking all my effort is going to waste, and end up suffering a lot. It is important to me to continue working and keep up with my social life and exercise. I know that it will contribute to my healing, along with prayer and knowing Jesus is beside me every step of the way. From the Slowness of Slow Tapers thread, I found a lot of encouragement to be patient and to hold until feeling stable. This is going to be a long and arduous journey, but I have hope that I will at least be on as little medication as possible, or none at all.

Hello all, First, I want to set my intention to contribute to this forum. I hope that sharing my experience with psychiatric medications offers some comfort/support to others, who have overlapping experiences with medications, the psychiatric world and, at times, even the psychotherapeutic world. I would like to receive support for my symptoms of PWS, as I continue my journey tapering off of medications. I would like to learn how to measure dosages with hard pills (not capsules) using a gram scale or other ways of doing this at home. And how to stay safe, and enjoy life as much as possible with my husband and pets, and hopefully hold down work, even through these difficulties. I appreciate your journeys very much, and thank you to the founder of this website as well. Thank you very much for being here & reading. I entered "the system" of psychiatric medications when I was 21. Briefly about my history: I have been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, mood disorders, and most recently, C-PTSD. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and only child, my father was a hateful and abusive man; my mother failed to protect me and was abusive herself. Basically, both sides of the family, for generations back, had large systems of abuse and trauma. I managed to escape the fundamentalist religion and immediate contact with family, moved out at age 18 and found my way as best I could in a big city, without familial support, and worked my way through jobs, without any medications. I even started therapy, but unfortunately the therapist made numerous boundary violations, including stopping therapy to try and "adopt me" as her adult child. At age 21, I was in an abusive relationship with someone who I worked for, but also let me live with her so I wouldn't have to constantly be living hand to mouth and could have a safe space to sleep. A year and a half into the relationship, her true colors were shining brightly - she was emotionally abusive, controlling, demanding and wanted me to take care of her entire life even though she was twice my age, just so I could stay living with her and enjoy her home. I was very dependent on her because she as only paying me 8 dollars an hour to work for her business, coated with the promise that I finally "belonged" to her family. So I could not easily move out on my own and afford rent, or find another job since I feared retaliation if she found out. I began to notice symptoms of severe dissociation, anger, violent thoughts, separating from myself completely, while I felt trapped, lost, and terrified. I started yelling and acting out of character, and told her about this. She became very angry with me, as I was supposed to be responsible and taking care of the home and dog and be compliant and take her abuse. I was afraid of being abandoned, and believed it when she told me I was very problematic and unstable. I went to the psychiatric hospital of my own volition, and told them I was scared of my thoughts. They wouldn't let me leave the hospital that same day, because I told them I was having thoughts of harm. It was a horrible hospital that actually closed down years later after countless abuse allegations. I was diagnosed with bipolar (I don't know which one), and prescribed risperidone. It made my legs feel like lead was pumping through them and I went temporarily blind at night. I thought I was dying. After leaving the hospital 5 days later, I came off of the medications. That summer, I took ativan to manage severe anxiety of being in the abusive relationship. Eventually I left her home one day after she was particularly abusive towards me the night before, packing what i could in trash bags and having a friend pick me up. After that experience, though, my life was really turning up. I wasn't on any meds and never wanted to be on them again. I felt happy, social, had good roommates, felt taken care of, and though still kind of a hot mess, figured my way through the basics of life. The following year, 2015, I was offered my first full-time job, which was amazing to me, especially since I hadn't attended college at that point. But months into it, I hit a really sad slump, with pain from the separation from my family, and trauma from past abusive relationships. I was not concentrating well at work, and my doctor said to try Zoloft for anxiety and depression. Thinking I needed it to keep my job, I took 25mg and increased to 50mg. However, a few months later, I started seeing a therapist who didn't approve of psychiatric meds and told me it was best to come off. Scared, I came off of Zoloft completely, but then started experiencing withdrawal symptoms, weird mood swings and a difficult time at work. I eventually left that job and got into a hard time financially, mentally and physically. I was back on Zoloft again in June 2016 - once again - help me at work. I think it was really to combat the withdrawal symptoms I first experienced. The nightmares I experienced on Zoloft were epic. Truly epic. And I endured them for 3 years thinking it was normal. I used Xanax occasionally. I stayed on Zoloft for a while, but would come off at different points in the year, because I felt robotic, sexually impaired and, namely, the nightmares. I was getting into a real vicious cycle with being on Zoloft, then going cold turkey, and going back on. I saw a psychiatrist finally and they recommended I increase to 100mg, to "really give the medication a chance to work" at a "proper dose". I felt like I was in a vacuum, so far from my feelings and reality, and stopped taking Zoloft and any medication for most of 2019. I didn't realize it at the time, but I experienced PWS constantly, and my mood, anger, dissociation, and irritability flared. I had become someone else, and I had no idea who I was. I wasn't the same person who met my husband and who he fell in love with, even though he still loves me very much. Of course, I had many symptoms from trauma already before I started taking meds, but the medications made me not know who I was anymore and made it so I couldn't find my way through these problems with the help and support of loved ones. I couldn't feel loved. I socially isolated myself. I was seeing a therapist two, sometimes three times a week, and focused so much of my energy on her, and the dependency she was encouraging in my relationship to her. It was toxic, and inappropriate, and this contributed to further aggression, irritability, feelings of abandonment and re-traumatization from my childhood. Out of desperation to fix myself and to stop being this person, I went back to another doctor, who prescribed Prozac and told me to see a psychiatrist for possible bipolar. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD) and generalized anxiety, with trauma related issues. I was then put on no less than six medications over the course of six months - including prozac (up to 40mg), venlafaxine (when prozac didn't "work" - around 150mg), abilify (5 and then 10mg - the absolute worst), lamictal (200mg), gabapentin (300mg), prazosin and other sleep medications - to try and see what worked. I still felt terrible. At the end of that year, the relationship with that therapist ended on a brutally painful note, and I was even more filled with pain and rage, since I had come to depend on her as yet another mother figure. My symptoms worsened. To mitigate the worsening of *these* symptoms, I started an intensive outpatient program in 2021. I stayed for a month, and they kept my meds the same (abilify, venlafaxine, lamictal, gabapentin, xanax and some sleep meds I'm forgetting), except told me I could reduce abilify from 10 to 5mg, because I wasn't displaying any psychosis. I gained over 30 pounds during the time being on these medications, and have never been that heavy in my life. I then continued with new therapists, and moved to a different city. There, the psychiatrist team I saw kept me on my medications, but I told them how much the weight gain was affecting my health, and how my moods were still so low, irritable and just awful, making it so hard for me to do school. They told me that "you're stable, so let's keep things the way they are. At that point I couldn't do it anymore, I went on my own and tapered off all of the major meds (venlafaxine, abilify and lamictal) in 2 months. I withdrew from college for the next semester to figure things out. The dissociation and withdrawal effects from PWS was brutal, but I stopped feeling the constant anger and could finally cry again and grieve experiences in my life. I vowed to never be on an antipsychotic again because I firmly believe abilify destroyed me, more than any other drug. However, you can imagine, the PWS dissociation was so overwhelming and constant (had a hard time making extremely basic decisions, thinking, knowing who I was) that I was back in another psychiatrist's office 2 months later. This one (my current) is more understanding - she started me only on Lamictal, and I chose to start at 100mg. Then we added Trazodone (25-50mg) for sleep. This was stable for a while, though my symptoms of depressive moods that impaired my ability to function socially, in my relationship with my husband and in school still persisted. She had me take a GeneSight test because I had had "so many medication failures". The test showed that Lamictal was in the "red zone" and immediately she wanted me to come off of it, because she was afraid I'd get Stevens Johnson syndrome (a bad rash). I was sad because Lamictal seemed to be the least harmful med I'd been on. But eventually I agreed because she kept pushing. I came down and started on Depakote instead. Now, I feel like a complete waste. Just foggy, depressed, upset, blocked all the time. My memory is horrible. I can't remember words when I'm making a sentence, and I'm an English major who has always been great in that area. I don't know which words to use when I'm speaking. Also, I recently had to change my sleep schedule to take care of a kitten and I completely forgot to take Trazodone for an entire week, and just today realized that I'm having horrible panic attacks because of withdrawal. However, not being on Trazodone, I actually feel brighter and not like such a waste during the day. When I cried it out with my husband during a panic attack, I actually felt better after - not just more depressed. This gives me some hope to come off of that. But, I may need to add some back on to help with the withdrawal symptoms - any thoughts or suggestions appreciated. My goal is to come off of the Depakote using the 10% rule, and learn to live with, thrive with and heal from PWS. My number one goal is to be psychiatric medication free. This industry has turned me inside out, and I'm only 29 years old. I feel it's taken so much from me, and my husband as a result. Thank you for reading this long post. Sending light; know that you are not alone.

hi i really want to type a good intro except tbh i've reached my lifetime limit of psychiatric and therapy intake sessions and i'm struggling to see this intro post as something different... communication in general is extremely exhausting for me and i really just want to ask a question about electrolyte balance... so i'll just vomit a list of random stuff into this text box: i am in my 40s, male, diagnosed conditions are tourette's (vocal mild, motor severe), add-i (extremely severe), chronic major depression, kinesthetic synesthesia -- all conditions have been present since early childhood and have remained mostly unchanged. i am also prone to migraines and seasonal vertigo (the latter gets milder with age), and debilitatingly ticklish (which might be relevant because i think it's linked to why i experience certain drug side effects). i'm in relatively good physical health otherwise. i take 30mg adderall xr daily + 5mg adderal ir 7 hours later (50mg mydayis is ideal but insurance does not cover) and am satisfied with that as it greatly improves my quality of life. the 30+5 schedule was the result of a lot of careful tuning. i am stopping 225 mg effexor xr. i have poor cyp2d6 function but did not receive that test until well after starting effexor. the only other medication i take is pepcid for reflux. i smoke approx. 2 packs every 3 days. i do not do any other drugs. i do not smoke marijuana, i have never used cocaine, and i rarely drink these days. the only other drugs i have ever done were psychedelics, and it has been a few decades. i do not like antidepressants but every few years i'll go on a run for a few years, always as a last resort. i used to prefer zoloft but about 4 years ago i tried effexor instead because zoloft caused too much general apathy. i chose effexor because my mother takes it and i figured if it works for her (although now i'm not sure if it does) then might as well. i have tried other antidepressants; but side effects were always unmanageable: i tend to get hit with all of the rare sexual side effects for any given drug, and every single motor control side effect imaginable, for some reason, and they never go away until stopping the drug. for effexor, though, the only real physical side-effect that never went away was excessive sweating. generally speaking it takes me about 72 hours to stabilize after an effexor dose increase. also, on missed dose, i will start to feel it within about 12 hours (just a feeling of strangeness + vivid dreams), and after almost precisely 36 hours i'll suddenly get hit hard with balance issues, slurred speech, brain zaps, and become prone to cataplexy attacks (the cataplexy triggers are repeatable, consistent, and hilariously specific - let's just say that if you tell me a good joke or give me great news then touch my feet i'll just completely deactivate like a scruffed cat, haha - very weird experience). incidentally, depakote virtually eliminates a lot of the motor control withdrawal side effects (quickly, too, within an hour or two). however i do not take this and will not start. i discovered this after i experienced my first missed dose cataplexy attack but we didn't know what it was at the time and my psychiatrist, fearing a TIA, put me on depakote as anti-seizure protection for a few days until i could get to a neurologist to identify what happened. i won't get into why i want to stop effexor except to say that i think it's causing more problems than it's solving, my career in particular is at high risk right now, and also this 4-5 year run is my longest on antidepressants and i'm not comfortable with that. also i'm starting to realize that it seems to be doing something weird to my emotions (hard to explain so i wont unless asked)... and i've noticed a huge increase in my tendency to dissociatively respond to stress. because of enzyme function test results, a few months ago i considered getting desvenlafaxine level lab tests then switching to a roughly equivalent dose of pristiq. but i just decided to stop entirely instead. i stopped kind of cold turkey about 2 weeks ago. the timing was because my psychiatrist is on maternity leave, i was running low on effexor (150 + 75 = 225), and tbh i just didn't really feel like calling the substitute psychiatrist. so i dropped the 75's and took 150mg for a few days until i ran out of those two, then i just stopped. that was about... a week-ish ago. it's been hell since, but... i seem to be slowly but surely crawling back into reality. my gut feeling is that i'll get through the withdrawal ok eventually, but my fingers are solidly crossed. i'm not concerned about long term withdrawal syndrome at this time but get back to me in a couple weeks on that. i've been emotionally and physically all over the place since stopping but i just assume it's par for the course. but i'm also experiencing a lot of overwhelming anxiety that i think might be 4 years of effexor-suppressed stress all coming out at once, if that makes sense (like, real life things that i should've been concerned with but wasn't, and now suddenly they're all hitting me). i seem to at least have gotten through the suicidal depression part of the withdrawal. there were about 3 mercilessly bleak days that basically consisted of me determining that the only logical solutions to the remaining mysteries of quantum mechanics were solidly in the realm of profound nihilism and that i was an illusion. the only thing that got me through it was the fact that my cat loves the absolute crap out of me; so making her purr was my sole reason for existing last week, haha (which really, isn't much of a change from normal now that i think about it). sooo... that's my intro but like i said i really just want to ask about maintaining electrolyte balance because effexor withdrawal, dehydration, and *over*-hydration all have exactly the same set of symptoms and since stopping every single fluid in my body is taking every opportunity to come out of every possible hole it has access to, plus some. also i have questions about venlafaxine vs desvenlafaxine pharmacokinetics, mostly out of curiosity. i've had no luck with my own research because "venlafaxine" and "desvenlafaxine" are used interchangeably in a lot of lower quality information sources but there is enough of those that it just completely pollutes search results. i'm not actually sure how to ask a question cause all the "new post" buttons are disabled except for in this forum. so i'm just assuming i have to type this intro to get that privilege. in any case thanks for making this site and i really do hope that everybody here is able to get through whatever they're going through right now because this stuff sucks no matter how mild or severe it is. j ps generally poor sense of time + overall lack of structured life + confusion of the last few days + logistically complicated real life events = don't trust the precision of "2 or 3 days" above, i'm actually not entirely sure when my last dose of effexor was i'd have to work backwards to figure it out. but i'm pretty sure this has all happened in the last 2 weeks. overall though my state has been best described as "utter confusion".

Hi there. I am female, 41 years old, married with an almost 18 year old. I was diagnosed in 2018 with anxiety, depression and BP2. After my diagnosis I started to see a Therapist and Psychiatrist regularly. I realized I have dealt with these mental health issues my whole life and figured medication would be my saving grace. I was wrong. They made me a zombie and I was constantly sleeping. I had a suicide attempt in late 2017 and that is what started my experience with medication. I was in-patient for 9 days and came home with an abundance of new medication (please see signature for meds). I thought this would be the right step in the right direction for me. I had another close call with suicide in late 2019 and was subsequently hospitalized for that as well. Fluctuating between depression, BP2, hypo mania and anxiety was exhausting. Husband and I decided we wanted to try for another baby so my OBGYN suggested certain drugs be out of my system, hence coming off of them. I had been wanting to stop my meds anyways because I was tired of feeling numb. Psychiatrist took me off of my Depakote cold Turkey on May 19, 2022 and I decided on June 22, 2022 to come off the rest except my Buspar. June 22, 2022 was the day my IUD came out so it was the best time to end my meds as well, against my Psychiatrists wishes. So far the withdrawals have been probably run-of-the-mill (i.e. insomnia, nightmares, headaches, irritability, sweating, dizziness, body aches). I’m taking it one day at a time and trying to rest as much as possible when I’m feeling awful (like right now, while I’m typing this).

I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while now, but getting myself to sit down and actually write something has been so incredibly hard. I just can't focus. Things I want to say or share come in bits and pieces and are gone by the time I can get on this site. I'very been tapering off Lexapro since August and am down to 10 mg fromy 30. I know it's faster than suggested here, but it seems to be OK. Well, I am still alive anyway. Since I can only seem to put together short thoughts on everything and need to get them out right away, I've decided to use Twitter primarily #TweetingMyRecovery. My handle is @AbleWriterSays if anyone cares to join me or follow along.

HI, here santking, 34y "manic" diagnosed episode in 2004. treated w lithium, benzos and prozac. 1000 mg of depakote+benzos+prozac jun-ago 2004. ago-dec 750. + prozac Dec: just 500 depakote (treatment produced strong acne. treated with roaccutan between nov 2004 to oct 2006) 2005: depakote 500 (some months w 750) + prozac and benzos- (lorazepam) dec 2005 - aug 2007: depakote 500 mg aug 2007 - 2009 alternated depakote 500 mg to 250 mg jan 2010 i started with a new psychiatrist: depakote 500 mg until sep 2012 sep 2012 started depakote + antidepressants: depakote 500 + etifoxina / paroxetine and propanodol (?) (until jun 2013) jun 2013: depakote 500mg with paroxetine and propanodol. oct 2013: change paroxetine for trazadone. until Jan 2014. jan 2014: depakote 500mg and leave trazadone jan 2014-oct 2015: depakote 500 mg oct 2015: psychiatrist introduces sertraline. suicidal attempt with sertraline overdose in jan 2016. psychiatrists increases depakote to 750 mg and introduces wellburtin. jan 2016 - dec 2017: 750mg depakote + wellburtin dec 2017 consulting another psychiatrist changed wellburtin to seroquel 25 mg dec 2017 . until jun 2018: 750mg depakote and seroquel 25 mg in jul 2018 I meet the Peter BReggin's books and SA forum and start the withdrawal process. this included consuting with psycotherapist and intense researching meeting content like Icarus project, mad in america, Rachel Aviv articles and Laura Delano's Withdrawal Project (a daily reference) ago 2018: start tapering: depakote 500 mg and seroquel in 12mg dosages (cutting to half) until nov. in dec 2018 I felt the withdrawl synthoms of seroquel leaving (insomnia, vertigo, suicidal thoughts, paranoia, anxiety, fear) Jan 2019: changed depakote dosage -tablets o sprinkles- (125 mg) taking 4 pills daily. May 2019: tried tapering without scale (reducing "half" of sprinkle aprox 437 mg) causing a week of insomnia and panic. returned with 500 mg in June. Aug 2019: started tapering with scale. sep 2019: 450 mg Oct 400 mg. Nov: 375 mg (3 pills daily) DUring November I have been taking 375 mg I have been feeling intense laziness, lack of motivation and fatigue. I tried changing diet: avoiding caffeine, alcohol, sugar, dairy and ultraprocessed foods. I had a week w insomnia and next week felt sleepness and lack of motivation (after Dec 1) RIght now I'm worried because I still feeling down and need increase energy due to personal compromises. I'm doubting if back to 400 mg or still reducing the dosage. THis based on how I'm feeling and listening the body sensations. I'm doing the tapering based on the 10% standard seeing in Breggin books, TWP and here. This is my history w psychiatry treatments and I would appreciate your help and recommendations for my case. If you need some explanations I will do it. Thank you.

Hello I am on several psych drugs including Celexa (antidepressant), Seroquel (antipsychotic), Depakote (anti-seizure, never had a seizure in my life), and Klonopin for anxiety. These meds are making my life a living hell with the side effects. Clueless as to which one I should start tapering first any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Please someone direct me toward where I saw a list of doctors throughout the nation who will taper AD’s. I was on here looking through it and hit the wrong button and now I can’t find it. Thank you.

I have a 23 year old non-vocal child (autism, self-injury, mood disorder and agitated catatonia.) Since they cannot tell me about the withdrawal effects they are experiencing I'm reaching out for some help. They have been on 175mg of Zoloft for 3+ years, they have also been experiencing severe periodic limb movements of sleep which I've read can be a side effect of Zoloft. The doc recommended reducing Zoloft by 25mg every two weeks. Within 3 days of reducing the Zoloft my adult child starting have problems with falling asleep and staying asleep as well having short periods of unusual agitation during the day. The doc doesn't think the insomnia is related to the taper but it is clear to me that there is a direct correlation. My thoughts are reducing the daily zoloft in increments of 11.5mg per month (cutting a 25mg pill in half,) This taper would take us through mid-October of next year before we could discontinue. Does this sound reasonable? Are there any other possible/likely discontinuation symptoms I should be on the watch for? Regards' Zwerger Parent of Adult non-vocal child with various mental health conditions Zoloft 175 Taper Recommendations Needed Venlafaxine 150MG Trazodone 250MG Depakote ER 500mg tabs, takes two pills each in AM and PM for a total of 2000mg