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  1. Hi, I’m new here. I’m a (cis) woman and 24. Taken antidepressants for all of my adult life so far. 2015 - Prescribed Prozac (can’t remember the original dose given nor the highest dose I took) for anxiety and depression. Also prescribed lorazepam as needed for panic attacks. Never abused the lorazepam nor became dependent on it thankfully. Prozac wasn’t very effective for me and gave me negative side effects I hated. Quit it cold turkey after less than 6 months. Next, prescribed Effexor, which was much more effective at treating my anxiety and depression. In last 4 years, I have developed terrible night sweats and experience semi-frequent night terrors and general sleep disturbance. Unsure if related to medication. 2016 - Worked my way from 75 mg up to 150 mg of Effexor due to growing tolerance. Experienced issues with my appetite at this point. Original psych retired and had to find new prescriber. No longer able to receive prescription for lorazepam. General practitioner took over prescribing venlafaxine/Effexor for next year. 2017 - Found new mental health provider/clinic for behavioral therapy. Unable to see psychiatrist there, but able to receive prescriptions through nurse practitioners. Prescribed hydroxyzine as needed (rarely take only to help me relax before bed. 2020 - College pressures and general stress led to another dose increase. Now taking 187.5 mg Effexor daily. (Appetite reduced again and basically non-existent hunger cues at this point). 2022 - Tapered my dose back down to 150 mg on my own. Mild to moderate withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. This brings us to now. My body is completely dependent on my antidepressant. If I miss a dose by mistake, I notice within hours due to intense withdrawal - brain zaps, chills/cold sweats, vertigo, headache, light sensitivity, general confusion, nausea, the works. This past week I almost ran out of meds and couldn’t get a hold of my prescriber before the weekend. Previously found it very difficult and anxiety inducing to try and get emergency supplies through my pharmacy so instead I divided up what few pills I still had and have taken 112.5 mg yesterday (Saturday) and Sunday (today). I have an appointment with my prescriber tomorrow. Unsure of whether or not I want to tell them of my intentions/desire to try tapering off my medication, but relieved I can get more pills to stop these horrible withdrawal symptoms. Currently coping with lots of rest, mild exercise, hydration, balanced diet, pain killer, and supplements.
  2. I have depression and anxiety. My former prescribing ARNP started me on Latuda to augment sertraline (an off-label use) but I didn’t notice any effects. We then switched 150mg sertraline to 20mg trintillex from November-December and I felt good but I had eye twitching and found out it was expensive so I decided to try an ADHD medication as recommended by my prescribing ARNP. I lowered my trintillex (I think to 10mg) and started the ADHD med but I was anxious and nauseous on it so I stopped and went back up to 20mg trintillex. A few weeks after that, I started having severe symptoms (see below). I have a feeling that increasing the trintillex caused my current symptoms but Latuda is not covered by my insurance so I want to get off it as well. I know I need to titrate slowly but I don’t know which one to start with. I was working with an ARNP and we discussed starting sertraline and then decreasing trintillex but she dropped me after I asked started asking questions about and wanting to change the tapering schedule. She discouraged me from stopping the trintillex alone and said my depression would get worse. Since January 11th, I have been experiencing debilitating anxiety, crying uncontrollably (for the first two weeks), nausea, vomiting, racing heart, heat sensitivity, insomnia, stomach pain, suicidal ideation, obsessive thoughts, memory issues, cognitive issues, itching, agitation, feeling detached, irritability, waves of panic, self doubt, and constipation. My questions are as follows: Should I start decreasing the Latuda or the trintillex first? Do you think decreasing the Latuda could help my anxiety symptoms even though it didn’t seem to have a positive affect on me when I started taking it? Would it be unsafe for me to start decreasing trintillex without adding another SSRI? Would it be safe for me to start on sertraline before dropping the trintillex? To the best of my memory: 2006-2010: sertraline 2006-2007: risperidone 2010-2016: took fluoxetine and citalopram as mono therapy 2016: trial Effexor for a few months 2016-2020: escitalopram (polyrugged with Wellbutrin) 2016-2020: Wellbutrin, months on and months off May 21-Nov 21: tapered from escitalopram to sertraline 150mg August 21: trial of lamotragine (rash) August 21: started latuda (off label) at 20mg, then up to 40mg and 60mg but back down to 40mg November 21: two week taper from sertraline to trintillex 20mg, experienced eye twitching and itchiness (5mg trintillex for 5 days, day 6 decrease sertraline to 100mg, day 10 decrease sertraline to 50mg and increase trintillex to 10mg, day 14 stop sertraline, 10 days of 15mg trintillex and then up to 20mg trintillex) December 21: quick taper down on trintillex to I think 10mg and trialed dextro-amphetamine for a week, 10-40mg, anxious and nauseous (1/2 of 40mg pill in am, then 1/2 pill am and 1/2 pill pm, then 20mg am and no pm, then 20 mg am and 1/2 pm, then maybe 20 mg am and 20 mg pm) December 21: quick taper back up to 20mg trintillex, some lip and foot twitching January 22: lorazepam for a few days January 22: clonidine .1mg-.4mg per day, currently taking .1mg am and .1mg pm January 22-March 22: ashwagonda, L-theanine, and probiotics Current medications: Latuda 40mg Trintillex 20mg Clonidine .1mg am and .1mg pm Fish oil Vitamin D Levothyroxine .112mg
  3. Hi, I wrote my introduction on the 4th of October 2019 ☼-francisco-on-the-way-to-a-success-story At that time, I was seven months of all meds – I stated that the post was a combination of an introduction and a success story since things were on course at the time. Since that post, my mental has been put to the test like never before but it's now been around one year and 10 months since I stopped taking meds and I believe my mental health has passed the test. I was given a diagnosis of bi-polar by a consultant psychiatrist in the autumn of 2011 after years of volatility in my mental health and began taking meds six months later. I started with Lamictal (Lamotrigine) – after a few weeks on a low dose, the dose was increased – the next day I noticed a rash all over my body and stopped taking it. I was then given Abilify – I was on this over for a month or two but stopped taking it since it caused me insomnia and really intense pain in my wrists. Next, it was Olanzapine/Zyprexa (5mg) to deal with my elation – the 5mg worked well but when the dosage was increased to 10mg and 15mg, it caused nothing but depression so I went back to 5mg. I was then given Prozac to deal with the depression side of things – this however, caused me the worst depression I ever experienced. I was on it for a bit over a month until I could take no more and stopped taking it. My psychiatrist then prescribed me Venlafaxin/Effexor in September 2012 – I started at 75mg and eventually made my way up to 300mg. As the dosage increased, my depression did get better but the side affects most certainly got worse – constipation and intense sweating in bed at night. Also, I always felt the medication was causing me brain fog, despite what my psychiatrist was telling me – ‘all these meds do is treat depression’ I was told and basically, how limited intellectually I felt was in fact an actual reflection of the abilities I was born with. I was really getting fed up with the side affects and decided to do what a lot of people in my situation do – come of the meds without telling my doctor. I slowly tapered down the anti-depressant but came off the Olanazpine quite abruptly – result: disaster. The depression came back in a big way. Around this time, I remember one sleepless night lying in bed just saying to myself over and over – ‘I just want to die – I wish I had the courage to kill myself’. Went crawling back to the psychiatrist in July 2015 and told him the truth – needless to say, he was quite annoyed but prescribed me Cymbalta/Duloxetine (60mg) and agreed to reduce my dosage of Olanazpine to 2.5mg. The Cymbalta no doubt stabilized my mood at that time – I was pretty dam low, as you can imagine. Once again, I felt it was limiting me but after the volatility I had experienced, I was happy for a bit of stability. In the summer of 2017, I began to learn a lot about the affect diet and exercise can have on mental health. Up until that time, I thought I ate and exercised healthily – how wrong I was. Over the course of around a year, I completely changed my diet and exercise regime – I experimented a lot and ended up with my current diet which is essentially a Mediterranean diet – meat, dairy and eggs a few times a week but primarily plant based food – mainly unprocessed. A lot of my free time now is spent cooking and preparing food. After I started with Cymbalta and before I changed my diet and lifestyle, I felt that my depression/elation cycle was going on in the background but the medication was keeping it in check. As my dietary and lifestyle changes kicked in, I began to feel that the cycle was longer there – I was essentially stable. I got married in July 2018 to the woman who stuck with me through the diagnosis and all the mental volatility over the years. Immediately, we started trying to conceive – I really wasn’t mad about the idea of trying to conceive while I was on medication – I know that women are advised to come off meds before becoming pregnant and I wondered if my own meds could have an affect on any potential child I conceived. Did a bit of research – heard a bit about meds possibly causing fertility problems but nothing about meds causing birth defects etc. For a number of months after the wedding, we tried hard to conceive with no success. Consequently, I made the decision to start tapering. Not surprisingly, my wife was initially reluctant given what happened previously when I tried to come off meds – this shook my confidence a bit but I really believed that I could cope this time round, given the dietary and lifestyle changes I had made. Unlike the previous time, I told my psychiatrist who to my big surprise, did not object in the slightest. He initially suggested that I stop taking the 2.5mg of Olanazpine altogether – he told me that according to the research, 2.5mg has no real anti-elation effect – it only really aids moderate anxiety and sleeping. I genuinely believed that the olanzapine was indeed helping my sleep so I decided to continue taking it and instead drop the Cymbalta from 60mg to 30mg at the beginning of November, 2018. I was on the lower dosage for three months – I didn’t notice any major withdrawal affects during that period. Consequently, when I saw my psychiatrist three months later, I suggested to him that I stop taking the Cymbalta altogether – once again, to my big surprise he was very supportive. I continued to take the Olanzapine for another month – I had planned to stay on the Olanzapine for three months but given what the psychiatrist told me previously about 2.5mg not really having any anti-elation affect and given how I hadn’t experienced any major withdrawal affects up until that point, I decided to come off completely at the end of February 2019. A part of me was worried that my sleep would go to hell without the Olanzpine but once again, I really believed as long as I stuck to my diet and lifestyle, I would eventually enter into a natural, healthy sleeping pattern – this transpired. Also, around four or five weeks after I ceased the meds completely, I started having withdrawal effects – my nervous system reacted and consequently, I felt very edgy and jittery and my concentration levels went down significantly – obviously, work was quite difficult during this period. Also, it’s not easy to say this but my performances in the bed room were pretty mediocre during this period also (not uncommon I suppose). This was quite severe for around five weeks and then gradually started to diminish. I fully expected some withdrawal affects so they did not surprise me one bit when they came. Once again to stress the point, self-belief was hugely important at this stage – I just knew that as long as I stuck to my diet and lifestyle – essentially, the way I was designed by nature/evolution to eat and exercise – the withdrawal affects would pass and I would reach stability. In the year since I posted my introduction, I had to deal with an extremely stressful project at work which was further complicated by a certain pandemic, the very difficult birth of my first child and a lot of subsequent and extremely heated disagreements with my wife under very stressful circumstances – as I said above, my mental health has been put to the test but I haven't gone back on meds and have absolutely no intention of doing so. As I type this post, I’m in fact currently staying in my parent’s house following a particularly nasty exchange with my wife – in many ways, my family are great but I’ve already heard ‘I think you should be taking medication to get you through this difficult time’. I know they mean well and just want what’s best for me but they just don’t understand me and never really have. For most of my life, I’ve been miserable and it wasn’t because of some chemical balance in my brain which would have been triggered no matter what – I had to deal with some personal problems which were really inhibiting me. Like my medication, those problems have been put to bed – I’ve been married for over two years and have been a father for a year. The first year of my daughter's life has been extremely difficult for all the reasons mentioned above – it's been difficult but I've coped. My marriage is in a very bad place right now and if it does survive, it’s going to take a lot of work and compromise between my wife and I. If it doesn’t survive, I firmly believe I’ll be able to cope with all the difficulties which come with marriage breakup as long as I find the support I need – the kind of support which this forum offers – guidance from people who’ve experienced similar things. If I was still seeing a psychiatrist now, I reckon he would have drugged me up to my eye balls in an attempt to get me through this difficult time. If I wasn't taking meds and hadn't made all the lifestyle and dietary changes I made over the last couple of years, I would have completely collapsed in the face of all the adversity I've had to endure. I'm still standing, however. Life now is extremely difficult like it is for a lot of people but I've found a way to manage. Now, I want to find a good life.  I have no problem saying that I have the bi-polar gene. I experienced all the symptoms and those closest to me can verify that. However, I don’t consider myself mentally ill and do not believe that I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain. As long as I live the way I was designed to live, my bi-polar gene will be completely suppressed – it simply won’t be an issue. For the most part, I believe that the symptoms I experienced were basically a reaction to all the things I was doing wrong – my diet, my exercise routine, my work environment, my learning environment, my past relationships etc. I plan to keep the potentially harmful parts of my bi-polar gene suppressed for the rest of my life and in order to do that, my life is going to be quite mundane – no substance abuse, regular moderate exercise, healthy sleeping patterns and I’m going to have to continue to spend a lot of time (but not too much time!) cooking and preparing healthy food. However, I will take ‘mundaneness’ any day of the week over mental volatility and side affects from psychiatric medication I’ve had to endure over the years. Having come through all that, the stability and strength I’ve found are all the sweeter – ‘spring would not be so welcome, if we didn’t have to go through winter’. As well as the mundane lifestyle I mentioned above, I’m also going to have find a working environment which I'm designed for. In January 2010, I had a nervous breakdown at work. The job I was doing at the time was a fairly basic office job. The company undertook a large project which I was part of which turn out to be extremely stressful for all involved and which I simply could not cope with. One day, I simply left the office and never went back – didn’t hand in my notice, didn’t tell my supervisor, didn’t tell family/friends. I went home, packed a bag and took off on a train to another city where I stayed in a hostel for a week. Subsequently, I was unemployed for three and a half years while I was trying all the medication mentioned above. Once I found the medications which stabilized me, I once again started doing similar type very basic office jobs – most were temp jobs completely unrelated to the what I studied in university and which needless to say, I didn’t exactly thrive in. These ‘go-nowhere’ jobs were all I felt capable of doing while I was on meds. I never built a career based on my university qualifications because I just felt so hindered by all the personal problems I was going through back then. I ain’t no office worker – I'm an introverted, insightful writer and researcher. In university, I received a first for my masters in International Relations. That was a hell of a long time ago but I feel I just have to get back into research once again. My own personal and fairly primitive research over the last decade or so helped me recover from a very serious mental health problem when all the so called experts were telling me that I would be on psychiatric medication for the rest of my life. I would love to build a career based on writing and researching about mental health and helping people who have also been told that they will be on medication for the rest of their lives. I believe I’m on the right forum to achieve this goal and look forward to contributing to the great work which is done here going forward. Many Thanks Francisco Quote: ‘Spring would not be so welcome if we didn’t have to go through winter’   Previous Meds taken (Not all at once - Mid 2012 to July2015): Lamictal, Abilify, Olanzapine, Prozac, Venlafaxin/Effexor Side Affects: Skin rash, insomnia, worse depression, constipation, intense sweating at night, brain fog Most Recent Meds: Cymbalta (60mg), Olanzapine (2.5mg) Taper: dropped Cymbalta to 30mg for 3 months until end of Jan 2019 - stopped Cymbalta completed at the beginning of Feb 2019. Stopped Olanzapine completely at the end of Feb 2019 Withdrawal: around 4/5 weeks after ceasing meds completely, my nervous system started to react - felt very edgy, irritable and couldn’t concentrate for around 3 or 4 weeks. Have been feeling stable since despite numerous stresses in my life
  4. Hello, this is my introduction. I am a long time Effexor user, age 38 male. It never was completely effective and I struggled with side effects, so I ended up cycling off and on periodically for the last 10 or so years. For the last two years, I have been using Pristiq instead, and don't feel I need it, but I have not been able to stay off. Even after tapering to where I am off it with no short term withrdawal, I will get bad symptoms of withdrawal (characteristic headache and dizziness) returning about 6 weeks after. I just restarted 25mg Pristiq and am hoping to successfully get off. I have a lot of questions, including whether I should switch back to Effexor just for the ability to count the time release balls and taper that way. I would like to post in the tapering forum. Thanks you.
  5. Hi Everyone, I am currently trying to taper down from 150 mg Quetiapine XR. I am down to 87.5 mg by now. The 75mg capsules I take each contain 6 pallets of 12.5 mg each, so to reduce my dose further I need to switch to capsules that contain a lot of spheroids instead of a liquid formulation. I explained this to my GP and she said that in the Netherlands (where I am currently residing as an expat) they don't have either the capsules with spheroids or a liquid formulation, which I find difficult to believe. Instead, she offered to switch me to 37.5 mg capsules which I found contain 3 pallets of 12.5 mg each just like my original medication so it is no use. I tried to do a google search to look up options but in the brochures, I do not find any information on whether the capsules contain pallets or spheroids and how many. Does anyone have an idea how I could get this information? I am planning to visit some pharmacies to ask but I find that it really helps to have some knowledge before asking the question otherwise I usually just get a 'no it is not possible' even when there might be an option available but it requires some looking into. Thank you very much in advance
  6. I tapered from effexor 150 mg over 12 days, 11 weeks ago. I experienced nearly every acute side effect eg. derealisation/depersonalisation, euphoria, vertigo, tremor, intrusive suicidal thoughts, akathisia, blurred vision, crushing pressure in head, pins and needles in forehead etc. 2 weeks ago I started to feel increasing numbness in my forehead and cognitive problems with working memory etc. consistent with chemical lobotomisation. As of 10 days or so ago I am experiencing nausea, extreme intermittent confusion, memory loss, sweating, restless legs, heart arrythmias and tachycardia. I'm very frightened and don't know whether reinstating at a low dose could make things worse although its difficult to see how things could get much worse at this point. I feel as though I'm in late stage dementia and I'm 35. I have no appetite and have lost 10% of my body weight over the last week, from 54 kg to 49 kg at 167 cm. Has anyone reinstated this late from a rapid taper and found it beneficial or did it make things worse? Please help me I'm absolutely desperate.
  7. Hi Everyone I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been lurking this forum for long enough now. 🙂 Male, 28 My story starts in November 2018 when I went partying with a few friends and consumed different recreational drugs (MDMA, Cocaine, Speed and Alcohol). I wasn't new to these drugs but I made the huge mistake to not test any substance and not dosing correctly. However I didn't feel bad throughout that weekend and the hangover was as expected. After four days the panic attacks and the depression started and it just did not get any better over time. A month later I had enough and went to my GP who immediately put me on Effexor and Seroquel. Later on Seroquel has been exchanged first to Mirtazapine and then Trazodone (see signature). The drugs definitely helped with the panic attacks but Side Effect were just unbearable I felt 40 years older, manic, aggressive, suicidal, without any motivation and completely emotionally numb. There was just no way I would stay on this horrible stuff any longer so I went cold turkey after two months. The first two months were kind of ok but I still felt drugged. After that the emotional symptoms kicked in and it became a fight for survival day by day. I will not go into detail about it because you probably all know what I am talking about. Sixth month later I made some progress, the symptoms became a little bit less intense and I had some windows. Over the next four months I made some further minuscule improvements, windows became longer. I started to feel kind of stable in my recovery, it gave me some hope that I didn't lose my job and my girlfriend throughout all this time. Next month I will be drug free for a year but it is still a massive struggle every day. Right now I seem to be in a long wave (5 weeks so far) with a great change of symptoms. The anxiety and the panic attacks have become a lot worse recently and there are a lot of physical symptoms like dizziness, nausea, loss of appetite and generally feeling miserable. I have become less active, less motivated to exercise but on the other hand I am also feeling kind of ok with it. Also my sleep seems to have changed quite a bit, I didn't have very bad insomnia so far only very intense and draining dreams. They are mostly gone now but instead I am sleeping two to three hours less per night. I try to see these changes as my brain being at work 🙂 I can't differentiate if I am still in Withdrawal or if this is the after effect of the recreational drug incident (any ideas?). All I can hope for is that my brain will heal the same way as it does if I had taken psychiatric drugs only. Throughout my life I only had a few bouts of mild depression and anxiety (and three mild panic attacks), nothing I couldn't cope with. I also have never been on any psychiatric drug. I will try to document my recovery in this topic. Massive thanks to the people of this forum without you I would probably have gone back on psychiatric drugs a long time ago. You can't imagine how much hope I got reading through these pages! 🙂
  8. Hi everybody, This is my first SA post. Thank you for all the incredible work you do. I hope my signature shows up at the bottom of the page, if not I'll have to figure it out! I'm 4 plus years into protracted venlafaxine withdrawal, which I'm sure I don't need to explain to you has been horrific, years 0-2 the hardest by far. I wish I had reinstated early on, but I was advised that this could make things worse so I toughed it out, and maybe this was the right advice. Anyhow I'm here now, and feel like I'm getting closer to healing although who knows how long till I get there completely. I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has had high blood pressure during withdrawal and had it treated successfully (or unsuccessfully) I had low/normal blood pressure before withdrawal started, but it has been extremely high at times through the past 4 years, worse during a wave, up to 190/120 recorded. Whenever I’ve had it checked out by my doctor the 24 hour readings come back as borderline high on average. Recently although I feel much less affected by the adrenaline type symptoms and more fatigued, slowed, cog foggy, my blood pressure seems to be more consistently high. My GP wants to start me on medication (labetolol as we are trying for a baby - at 42 I can’t afford to wait until this is over). I’m so scared, the last thing I want to do is start another pharmaceutical medication, my hope was not to have to take anything ever again! But my BP last night was 180/110 and I also don’t want to have a stroke or a heart attack (this runs in my family). When I look up online beta blockers seem to have their own withdrawal syndrome (looks less severe than venlafaxine w/d but still pretty crap), which is obviously the last thing I f****g want, having slogged my way through hell and high water to get this far through protracted venlafaxine withdrawal. Would love to hear from anyone who knows anything about high BP in withdrawal, or anyone who has started any BP meds in W/d and how they found them. I could do with some reassurance big time as I feel like I’m just falling into the same trap as when I started the antidepressant all over again. Also taking meds to manage the withdrawal from other meds just feels abhorrent. But Baylissa always says we get doctor phobic in withdrawal so I don’t know if I’m being balanced about this. Thanks ❤️
  9. Hi friends! Thankful to discover this forum. I’ve had a heck of a year and been through many SSRIs, SNRIs, benzos and betas. I had been on lexapro for about 7 months until recently when I just felt like I was laying in bed a lot and not motivated to do much. It had either stopped working or never really was. I was also on propanolol for a few mos with the lex and that helped a lot with extreme panic moments. When I talked to a psychiatrist last week she said I could stop taking lex and prop and switch to buspirone to try. I told her I wanted to at least taper the lex while trying buspirone. So I did that and was on it for a week at same dose and then she said do one week every other day. The first day I skipped my lex was a nightmare. Went to urgent care and they did negative flu and COVID tests because symptoms were so bad. They said they don’t know what to recommend for the meds but it’s likely withdrawal. Called my psychiatrist and she had me stop the lexapro and buspirone and start effexor and hydroxyzine. So I started effexor at 37.5 7 days ago with hydroxyzine 3x daily. It was fine until this week (1 week later) when she recommended Increasing to 75mg effexor. It was Awful and I suffered all day. Tried to get a hold of psych and she didn’t call back didn’t call back and then this morning I just took 37.5 mg because that was the lower dose and i wasn’t about to double it again. Her staff finally called back and said I could just stop effexor. When I asked what I should do next or if I should just lower back down to the dose I started with they had to ask and call back. So then they called back and said I could go back to the lower dose. So today I’ve heard two different things. I can stop taking it or I can go back to lower dose. I just want to be off. It’s only been a week but I’m over it. I’ve tried too much and my body just isn’t handling it. Do I need to taper having only been on the lowest dose for a week? I have a video call with her on Monday but I don’t want to just “stick it out” on the low dose til then if I’m planning on getting off of it Monday anyways. I’m going to suggest starting propanolol again by itself. I just don’t know what to do at this point with the effexor.
  10. Hi everyone, Im new here am wondering if anyone has had experiences with seizures while taking anxiety meds or while attempting to taper off them. My story begins about 13 years ago when I started taking Zoloft. I was in grad school and struggling to manage my stress, so my primary care put me on this medicine and that’s when the chaos began. It did help tremendously with my anxiety, but I was also having these strange blackout episodes. The first was when my husband and I had gone to a concert, had some beers, and walking back to the hotel I started having trouble walking. Almost like my brain forgot how to tell my legs to move. I collapsed on the sidewalk and couldn’t move or speak for about 15 minutes. I did come out of it and was fine, but only after the EMT’s showed up and had no clue what was happening. Then it happened again a couple months later. My friend was over and we were drinking wine. I went to the bathroom and again collapsed, not able to speak or move, etc. At this point my doctor switched me to Effexor (150mg) and I was fine for years until I stopped taking the Effexor and started having seizures again shortly after. Because of the seizures I was put on lexapro and again was fine for a long time until I recently ended up in the ER twice again with the seizures. Both times I was drinking with friends (nothing out of control, some wine and cocktails). I have full recollection of the events until I didn’t and woke up in the ER. Doctors told me the seizures were Delirum Tremens, but I don’t drink often and certainly not enough to have withdrawal seizures. And I did have the seizures in the past while I was completely sober. I’ve had all the various tests done to rule out neurological disease and am perfectly healthy on paper. So why the seizures??? Mixing with alcohol is so stupid and I know a very bad idea. But even a moderate amount can cause seizures??? There’s no other explanation I can think of. And about 45 days ago I slowly tapered off 20mg of lexapro that I was taking for about 5 years. I also stopped drinking all alcohol and am taking the best care I ever have of myself. And I feel horrible. So dizzy and unsteady I worry I’m going to collapse and have seizures at any moment. I can barely function and don’t know what to do. I’m terrified. So just wondering if it’s just me? If there’s something very wrong doctors can’t find. If it’s all in my head? Any advice, please share…
  11. My dr had me discontinue my Effexor 37.5mg/day after starting it on 12/28/21, and discontinued on 1/28/22, and immediately start Bupropion HCL 150 mg 24 HR ER on 1/29/22. Felt wonderful this past saturday, 1/29/22, felt absolutely great on sunday 1/30/22 at church, the best I had in a long time, then sunday afternoon hit, cleaned the house inside and out and the dizziness, confusion, nausea, headaches, etc... started kicking in, I felt awful, couldnt drive, no appetite, and then continued on throughout the next day, attempted to work, i work from home so I am constantly on the computer taking calls, taking pts, so my eyes constantly are moving, severe brain zaps kicked in in the morning and continued ever since, dizzyness, severe headaches, sinus pressure, inability to focus, chills, shakes, had to clock out midday this past monday due to symptoms, same yesterday, no improvement, severe constant crying, i feel like I am losing it...i am also a group member on the Facebook Group "EFFEXOR (Venlafaxine) Tapering, Discontinuation Syndrome and Protracted W/D" and they suggested I also come here to speak with someone about recommendations to reinstate due to also taking Bupropion as well. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I am making myself work not to lose anymore money, my dr doesnt seem to concerned about it, have a phone appt scheduled with her tomorrow, only due to the fact i pushed for a sooner opening then my original appt this friday, I am at a complete loss and the only thing that I can deduce the cause to is Venlafaxine Withdrawal Syndrome being the cause, but hard to tell as i started Bupropion, and I am afraid my dr will just throw another med at me instead of figuring this out. The reinstatement recommendations on the Facebook Group page stated the following, " How the person quit the drug and how long he or she's been off it. If you've just quit cold-turkey 37.5 mg Effexor a few days ago, you might reinstate at 18.75." I am wanting to know what others thoughts are on all of this, this is all new to me, and I have completely frustrated and feel like i'm losing it right now. Sorry for the ramble, I make not being making much since in this post due to all my symptoms and trouble with focus, memory, etc...please bear with me. I just feel like crying all the time. :(
  12. Okay so I am currently 38 and I have been on anti-depressants since.. 18 maybe a bit younger. For the past 8 years (at least) I have been on effexor XR (Venlafaxine) on a dose between 150mg - 300mg - oin the higher end for about the past two years. Recently I started getting anxiety attacks, so the doctor put me on Mirtazopam but I read up on that and didn't like the sound of it. At around that time I saw glimpses of having a sex life in the future and the thing about Effexor is that while it hasn't decreased my libido, it takes me ages to orgasm, by which time all parties have somewhat lost interest. I have accepted that I may be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life, so I didn't consider just coming off them entirely. I spoke to my doctor and the result is that I am switching to Dothep (Duloxepine) 150 mg. But the process is complicated. 7 days on 150mg Effexor (down from 300) and 30 mg Mirtazopam. That is where I am currently. Then 7 days on 75 mg Effexor and 15 mg Mirtazopam. After that two days of nothing. Then start Dothep, 25mg, increasing by 25mg every two days. So far I have experienced: Giant, voracious hunger (this can’t be overstated, we are talking total compulsion). Agonising stomach cramps (admittedly after eating way too much) Bloating Heart palpitations/chest flutters Chest pain Really limited attention span Headache Dizziness/vertigo Limited tolerance for other people Anxiety Oddly though, my mood thus far has been pretty good with the exception of worrying about weight gain because I finally got to a weight I am happy with and I am not keen for that to change.
  13. Hi there, I'm looking for some advice and help please after having a terrible reaction to anti-depressants after being put on them earlier this year... I'm 30 years old and was recently (June 2021) put on anti-depressants for the first time. 4 weeks after having my second baby, I was obsessing over my son's name (thinking I wasn't sure I really liked it) and my emotions were all over the place, generally happy but up and down and crying a lot - this was put down to postnatal OCD and I got put on Zoloft. I thought an antidepressant was strange to take if I wasn't depressed but the doctor said they were used for anxiety and OCD just as much. I've never really liked the idea of antidepressants but thought they were so widely prescribed they must be fine, I didn't even think for a second they wouldn't be safe. I have no history of any depression by the way, I've always been a very happy person. The first day I took a 50mg tablet of Zoloft it made me wide awake, I stayed up all the following night and day (over 36 hours), I had a headache and chest pain. I called my doctor and they told me they were common side effects, just keep taking it and my body will get used to it. On the third day I woke up and felt dead inside - my head was blank, I could barely think, I felt emotionally numbed and I was experiencing suicidal thoughts - I was terrified as I've never had anything like this before. I sought immediate professional help speaking to several doctors and got told to keep taking the tablets and I'll feel better. Not knowing how antidepressants are meant to feel at the start I just went along with what the 'experts' were telling me. Nothing got better, it just got worse and worse. After 6 weeks (July 2021) a psychiatrist switched it to Venlafaxine/Effexor ER 75mg which soon went up to 150mg (August 2021). Things turned around quite quickly and after a few weeks on that (September 2021) I felt like myself again, mood was back to normal/happy and I could think properly again. However I still feel emotionally very numb. I'm obviously thankful that I'm for the most part back to feeling like me again and I'm functioning normally for my kids. However I've always been a really emotional person and feeling emotionally numb is horrible! I also have no libido whatsoever now. I would never have taken antidepressants if any of the potential side effects had been explained. I really want to just get off this Effexor ASAP and be back to how I was before I ever touched them. I'm worried about withdrawal and making the situation worse again but at the same time I don't want to stay on it any longer than I have to. I'm really scared I'll never get my feelings back. I've already tapered down to 112.5mg from the 150mg. I've read the Effexor taper page but any other advice re my situation would be great thank you :)
  14. Hi, Not sure if this area is still active. I am new here, history in signature. Here due to experiencing withdrawal symptoms and looking for advice/support. Thanks!
  15. Hello all. I've been shadowing this forum for a while, and I'd like to begin by thanking everyone involved (Altostrata in particular) for providing such a caring environment for all the battered brains out there. A lot of my questions have been answered already by virtue of all the great information here. Still, one feels a particular solace in telling their own story, and I'd like to do just that. I am twenty four, and I have been more or less continuously medicated since I was sixteen. I was a troubled and difficult teenager, and a drug addled and dysfunctional brain seems to be my reward. I've been prescribed various stimulants, but (thank god) I've mostly neglected them over the years. I've run the gamut of anti-depressants from prozac, to lexapro, and then onto Effexor. I don't really remember having any issues with the prozac and lexapro, except the sort of general malaise one experiences on those drugs. Effexor has been a different story. I've been on it now for about four years. A year ago I noticed a strange sort of free-floating despair from time to time, the sort of thing I'd struggled with years earlier in high school. But unlike before it's appearance was alarming and irregular, and it seemed somehow “unnatural”. It was clear something was changing, either my brain chemistry or the effect of the drug, or both. Whatever the cause, it didn't seem to have much to do with circumstance. A few months later I decided to come off the drug. I went down over a period of two months. The effects were highly unpleasant but not unbearable, the strongest symptom being fatigue. I was completely off the drug for about three weeks. The effects during those three weeks were slightly different than they had been while still weening. Along with the fatigue came a deep underlying anxiety, and a sort of anxious hopelessness that would wash over me a few times a day. I decided after three weeks that I couldn't deal with the withdrawal symptoms anymore, especially since they hadn't show any signs of abating. I went up to 75 mgs, and was able to remain there for one to two months. The worst was over, though I still suffered from fatigue (I would often have to take a nap in the late afternoon) and began to have cravings for alcohol for the first time in my life. I imagine that my cravings were somehow compensatory, and I've heard of other people experiencing them while on or withdrawing from these types of medications. Eventually I went back up to 150 mgs of the Effexor, and after feeling a little drugged for a few days I returned to my normal self. It took a few more months to work up the courage to try to taper off again. This time I was prescribed 40 mgs of Prozac to “soften” the effects of the withdrawal. I slowed my descent a bit and two months passed before I reached 75 mgs. The symptoms were bothersome but tolerable throughout, and I managed to maintain a diet and mild exercise routine. Great changes were beginning to occur in my life around this time. I'd rather not go into lots of detail, but I'll just say that I managed to address certain things that had haunted me for many years. As these inner tensions began to dissolve the world suddenly seemed alive and brimming with meaning. Colors appeared more vivid, and everything seemed to be suffused with a kind of mystery. This period is somewhat hazy, but I think I must have been convinced by this shift that I would be able to quickly withdraw from my drugs, so strong was my sense of well-being. I took only a month to come off the last 75 mgs, and because of some mistakes while measuring my doses, my taper was somewhat erratic. This period was pretty horrendous. The effects of these drugs come so close to your basic 'poles of being' that it's really hard to describe them in any kind of reliable way. But there was a certain manic and anxious character to this period that had been mostly absent from the previous withdrawal. Some of these new symptoms came in waves, while others were more or less constant. Twice I got into very intense arguments with my father over dinner, both of which ended with me sobbing and hyperventilating (which is quite unusual for me). Sometime before the arguments I had felt a kind of mounting irreversible tension, one that quickly transformed into aggression. There was something strangely primitive and hyper masculine about it, like my mind and body were preparing to fight off an enemy or predator. Deeply strange stuff, I've never experienced anything like it. Once off the meds I only lasted a week before deciding to go back on the Effexor. Here I made another error. I was so panicked and anxious to get rid of my symptoms that I went back up very quickly. 10 mgs for a few days, 35 mgs for two days, 75 mgs for three days, and then back up to the full 150 mgs. Somehow it didn't occur to me at the time that I might have been rushing things. The first day back on the 150 mgs was wonderful. That earlier sense of joy and clarity returned, colors had that dark and enhanced quality again. I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. But, to my horror, the “manic” type symptoms returned the next day. They returned, and then they seemed to get worse. Two to three times a day I'd have those indescribable surges of raw feeling, and a pervasive tense/drugged sensation returned as well. Fearing that I'd gone up too fast I quickly went down to 75 mgs, which seemed to help for a bit. But the surges and the tension remained. It's been about a week and a half since I've made this last switch, and the symptoms continue. I've read on this site that it can take three to six weeks to stabilize at a given dose, so it seems like I still have some time before I can expect any kind of peace. What's complicated this whole thing is this new way of seeing that's opened up to me. Not only do I have the fear that I'll never be “normal” again, but also a fear that this recent revelation will be torn from me. In short, I feel like I have more to lose now than I did before, that returning to “normal” would be just agonizing as not recovering at all. Still, I have the sense that the transformation I experienced is real and is a lasting one, and that it's just been obscured by the effects of the withdrawal. Plus “it” hasn't disappeared entirely, and at least once a day I'll feel that sense of peace, well-being and heightened interest in things seep through. Still, it's strange how little comfort those moments provide when the hell starts. I apologized if this was overly long or indulgent in any way. I have a few questions for you guys. Firstly, does any of this sound familiar? Am I within the range of what's considered “normal” for this kind of thing? (I think I am but it never hurts to be reassured) Should these new “manic” symptoms disappear eventually? It sounds like they're the sort of nervous system issues that Altostrata describes in his/her theory, though I don't remember all the details at the moment. My greatest fear is that I somehow won't be able to stabilize at this dose, and that I therefore will never reach a comfortable place from which I can withdraw again. Also, does anyone have any idea why my second withdrawal attempt was so different from the first? The addition of the prozac maybe? It goes without saying that my next withdrawal will be much slower. I don't have any more illusions as far as that goes. Also, I should mention that I'm no longer on the prozac. Thanks in advance for all comments! Wonderful place you've got here.
  16. Hi all. At the moment I'm on 78 mg of Efexor XR since 17 months. From 150 to 78 mg, in the past 12 months, I tapered too fast. Details in my signature. In the last few months I also tried tapering about 10% but depression kick in very fast. A nice taper, that I'm going to retest soon, seems 2%. Now, since 1 year, the side effects are gradually getting worse: Indigestion (eating at night cause me insomnia because I can't sleep and start sweating) GERD if not treated with Betaine Hair loss Constipation At January I'll have a Gastroscopy, If nothing will be found, probably, the most debalitating side effect (GI issue), will be confirmed. With a rate of 2%/month will take 2-3 years to getting out of this s hit. I'm wondering if getting out of efexor, can be done with manageable side effects, but more fast, with starting an other antidepressant like bupropion. I tried different substances (drugs, supplements etc) this year, and for what I understand, dopamine enhancer, it's the only thing that works. What should I do? Thanks for reading.
  17. I want to share my heart out,I want to share my life. I lived 31 yrs of life. the life of sadness,hurt,betrayal,getting used,unrequited love, Dream which gets shattered,Health which got lost,Financed which ruined,Engagement which break twice,Got fired from the job which I love.hope which I got lost in all these but just little remains… May be I am not a very strong guy, or below things are very little for other people but for me it really shattered me with the brain I have.I want to write here because of two reasons:- Please bear with my bad English. To get words of support. Others may learn something from this. Birth(Dec 1987):- Bully(15yrs) I was a silent kid,deeply introverted.afraid to go out and dominate the world.Never in my life I had more than 2 or 3 friends.Never associated with any groups anywhere.Because of my silent nature and understanding of the world differently relatives and neighbors thinks that I am not of sound mind and they normally called me “sirri” (a word which describe a person as stupid with no mind”).Even my family used to call me the same, this has impacted my childish mind deeply and my confidence sank to earth every time someone called me that.though I was good in studies but not very vocal and someone who bully others just because other one is not dominatable nature. I hate these types of person even up until now.and I also choose very very carefully to whom I can open. these things keep going on till I turn around 15 or in 10th standard. and that was really a sad time.but I forgot and moved on. My teenage love(8 yrs) Its starts in early stages when hormones change occurs. My first Love.real,pure,deep,full of emotions.absolutely overwhelming.till date I have not forget those days. she was in my class sat next to my desk. I fall in love or whatever you will say infatuation. she belongs to other community. I knew marriage is not possible. I never tried to approach or propose.I knew even if I propose she will not accept.I was not handsome or a topper or may be I was insecure.I loved her deeply . Did many things those times of school like pick some flowers on my way to school and put it in her desk,looking at her whole time during school,wrote a diary, wrote some poetry also for her.cried every other day at home that I will not have her in my life.I also did those stupid thing of writing the name of your beloved from blood in your diary.lol. one incident I remember one day our teacher asked us to perform some activities, every student performed something like dance or cracked a joke. when my turn came I sang a song ”yai zamin ruk jaaye aasma jhuk jaaye tera chahra jab nazar aaye” by looking in to her eyes directly without any fear , in front of whole class and also a teacher.there are many many memories of such type.I never had a problem because I never insist her for anything. everybody knows that I loved her so much whenever anyone asked me I accepts wholeheartedly yes. she knows it. the way she looked towards me I still remember. I remember the day of parting also . it was day of 10th class last day when I got the news that she will about to leave school permanently,I become extremely sad and I know anyhow I have to bear this pain of loosing someone so close and to look at her become a daily oxygen to me. I was in deep pain. that day I thought to tell her my feelings by my own. she used to go to home through same bus stand from which I go.every day. that day I waited at stand for about 3 hrs because she was enjoying with her friends, I was desperate that today I ll tell her my feelings as after this day I will never see her. I saw her coming. she saw me from a distance and she sensed also about things. I come directly in front of her and said that I wanted to say something to you which you already know all these years.she asked me to say it.I uttered those three words.she listened and asked me if anything more I wanted to say I replied No.she left in a bus. I stayed there dont know how much longer, felt like dead. then came back home.and cried hell.my sisters consoled me so much. I couldnt did anything. so I tried to save this as a sweet memory in my heart.later when I went in college then I got toknow that she took admission in Dental school, I got her number some how and from my college far away from home I called her at every festival of her and her birthday continiously 4 yrs . then she become dentist and I got the news that she is getting married.to one of my other class mate. I became habitual about this. acceptance was there.those were the days of orkut, I dont know how many of you young guys know about orkut. its like first social media site in India those days. later I saw her some times on facebook and now she is living happily with her husband and a daughter. I left her there and locked her there in my heart to never open it up.and got busy in another things. Science and engineering(3yrs) Once I passed 10th and she left me then I have so much anger and resentment that I put all these on studies.I was a below average student got just 60% in 10th and ours was a govt school, that time I cant write or speak a single sentence in English.but somehow as all good students left the school so I got the admission in science section in 2004, there were 34 students, I studied very hard and came first that year only 8 students passed. in the next year also I did so much hard work and came first in my Class Editori was not that I got very good marks but the resources and kind of teachers I have in my govt school I did my best and came first in 12th also with 70% marks. I was so much fearful of science but my mother who was always there for me encouraged me that I can do it so I did passed it.in those 2 years i knew nothing about anything except studies I used to have one FM radio in my room some songs I hear every day like “love guru on radio city 91.1” if any of you remember.then after 12th was another struggle for career.Didnt know what to choose for further studies.I wanted to go to army.gave NDA also didnt passed.a friend came and suggest me to do coaching for engineering.I liked the idea it was the year 2006. I joined a reputed coaching in Delhi.studied day and night to pass the entrance.sometimes I got so much confident that I will do it sometimes i got frustrated.it was too much of studies for an avg student.year gone hopes begin. gave all engineering entrance examintation of delhi state and national level. like aieee and iit’s results came , didnt get selected in any one of them , got so much disheartened. you can understand how bad I was I got rank 131000 in AIEEE and for IIT I failed, DCE got 8000 rank.so no admission in any of these college. I gave uptu exam also and there I got 32953 rank and i got a change for counselling.Unfortunately there I made a blunder and even I was getting so many college in NCR Delhi region I put some college in sitapur in UP as my second choice because i foolishly thought that that were a govt college.and here begins a 4 year trauma of living in almost hell. Hostel life living away from parents If you read this far you must have understood what kind of a guy I am, so living away from parents and from New Delhi to a town of UP and college hosted in jungle and mostly the kind of people I interacted there.it was really not good. I was very much dishearted but being from a middle class family with so much of a hope from parents that my son will one day earn well and take us away from this life of hardship.I continued the battle and didnt drop out even if I wanted badly.there was not a single day in these 4 yrs when I didnt talked to my mother back home at every evening, I dont know how many times I cried that Its very very difficult to live without you guys.(tears just come to my eyes by just remembering those bad days.)Thank god he gave me one friend and a room partner with whom I was able to pass that worst time. I marked 8 lines in my diary and after every semester I crossed those one mark to able to see how much of it left to go back home. that was the best day when I was coming back last time and my family was very happy that there son became an Engineer, one more thing we with my friend decided that we will not have any affair or relationship and will directly marry. so no girlfriend type of a thing there also.Few attractions were there but I killed them and not regretting about that. Fear of studies and homesickness,Masturbation and Pornography,Falling into depression(11 yrs) This hit me bad when I was in 2nd year of age of 22yrs. I got very afraid that I cant continue in this engineering thing as this is very tough and even If I pass the exams still I will not able to do the real engineering job as this required so much brain I keep telling this to my parents and my father keep encouraged me that initially things looks tough but slowly it will get better.so I decided that whatever happen I will definately achieve this degree.I had so much pressure of homesickness(its that much you can understand that after coming back home in 2011 I have not left my hometown Delhi ), Pornography was there in college its normal thing even now I know.and I was not into these things that much. but I got addicted to masturbation like once in a week and pornography also. and I certainly believe that this masturbation and porn habit though it was not that much as with other people. it give me one of the deadliest disease which i cant even explain to you, whoever young among you is reading this I am warning you and pleading you, please leave these two devils completely out of your life else it will ruin you.this thing weakens my brain in 3rd semester i have got started rigorous hairfall,weakness of body and mind, but that time i was not able to understand because I got my body strength back in 2 days. for my mind it was normal but in reality this habit of masturbation causing deep harm to my body. which i was not able to control despite all my efforts.so in 2008 when I came back to delhi i got hit by mental illness there were symptoms severe headache, confusion,lost focus, memory issue, unable to take decisions and many more. this goes heightened also because i stuck in one more thing which is killing me, what is the true path of life,why so many religions and God and I wanted to know the truth I studied various religious scriptures also and I got so much feared that I cant die without knowing the truth.and I cant follow my parents religion without knowing for sure that it is correct or not.unfortunately I had to to a psychiatrist and here begins a trauma which is still going on they gave me that magic pill. a medications which can sort my mind out. I ,a young lad, trusted the doctors that yeah they are right in whatever they prescribe and in last 2 years of my studies this doctor gave me 7 different kind of antidepressents which numbed me actually. when I came back from college then I went to govt hospital in Delhi to a psychiatrist and he there stops all the medication and said that all this was not necessary and I was misdiagnosed, there I started with a small medication of just 10mg trusted this doctor and no doubt it helped me so much but over the years when i was stable in about 2014 i wanted to stop but my parents does not want me to stop and even my doctor. and I knew that this medication slowly killing me frm inside those who never use antidepressents can never understand what I am saying, just think that this tablet create a numbing effect on you or take away all your real emotions it makes you a zombie. and give you heightened emotions sometimes when not required also it hurt me so badly I cant even explain you some incident :- in one of my early interview I was crying sitting on footpath with fear that how will i be able to live this hard life.how will people earn.when I enter the room interviewer gave me a glass of water and ask me to come back after a month and dont panic. I was in so mch pressure of getting a job after my degree and it was tough. I got selected in one IT recruitment company and on third day i got so much un restless and fearful without any reason that i left my desk went to manager cabin locked my self inside and lie down on floor and slept and after 2 hrs manager open the door from different key and from next day they didnt picked me up for a job. Crying in washrooms is extremely common whenever my boss scold me or anybody hurts me.up until now.i never told anybody in my office that i am suffering from some brain disease else they will fire me I know. many more incident like this in my life. Searching for job after passing from tier 3 college and work till now(since 2011) this is a common story of many many guys of my type. Funny thing was that I didnt knew how to search a job and what a job is all about and how to plan a career , I knew nothing, first six month after completing a degree I left everything and just rested because I got exhausted and most probably this was a blunder. I was started searching a job and joined one of my friend in his company as Recruiter. after six month i got introduced by one of my relative of govt job and I shifted my focus in govt job preparation because the relative made a pressure on me to have a govt job cos he selected me for his girl.this i wll tell in next section in detail.then I joined a part time job in a call center because i was in another trauma as my first engagement broke and I didnt knew what to do ahead as one year already passed. so I worked there 14 months in just 4k rs pm. then I left to work in noida and good company call center and got ok amount 17500 pm worked there also 14 months till 2015 and then I was totally unsured what to do now, so I was getting promoted to quality manager there but after a degree that is not what I wanted to do so i decided that I will do a job in software anyhow.and after that I will decide further.so I left that job also and join another company in 20k pm worked there 6 months gathered all money then left and join one training institute in Noida and get my self trained there for 6 months and then gave interviews in IT companies as a fresher i had a 6 years gap. i got rejected by 11 companies and 12 one selected me. there I worked 2+ years. they have exploited me to the core and I was so much naive that I didnt understand that.I was a java guy and they asked me to learn .net so it was a do or die for me they gave only 3000 pm for training for first 4 months. i had my savings i never mind I wanted to learn . but i think now I stuck in wrong company . they trained me in .net then gave me a project of devops . i introduced devops by learning all by myself from internet whatever I can.created automatic infrastructure the best way I can alone. then they asked me to learn android then angular then big data omg it was overwhelming.I made one app backend its still live on playstore. and maintain many other . despite having my depression and other problems taking tool on my mental health. from last year oct 2018 many incident happened back to back that i asked my manager and ceo to give me off for a month they denied then i told them about my depression and they asked me to leave saying i am not able to work.they indireclty fired me in feb 2019. since then Its been 8 months i am at home. Engagement and breakup This was really tough when I came back in 2011 from college I went to one of my relative who is asst engg. in Delhi govt for guidance and help and he chose me for his daughter . I was on cloud nine . very happy . new graduate , got engaged to a beautiful girl , she is a lawyer. we fall in love. or I am wrong actually I fall in love. girls dont fall in love may be its very easy for them to move on . we got engaged for one year and as I told you earlier her father wish me to live as he asked me , he keeps me lecture every time.i got frustrated. I got a bit religious and the girl said to her father that he cant live with a religious type boy, I told her that now we are engaged dont do this , you will live the way you want to. but she got adamant and her father also.and said I become conservative and girls wants a handsome boys. i was just become simple nothing else. like simplest dresses , she doesnt like the way I dress. she asked me to change this or she will not live with me , I told her father that your daughter cant be happy with me why are you doing this to her. please stop. they dont want to stop but they want to change me , few things she said to me after a year of engagement which i still remember that , I ll have a dark future with you, why you come to my father for a job, I cant live the life of restrictions until this time I got so attached to her but I cant compromise on the way of life i am living.so I have to leave her . it was a big thing for all family and mostly on me because i was alone in this decision and my family is not in my support that time. they used to say “shadi karlo baad me jese marzi rahna who will say anything.” this breakup also shattered me , I have to move on I started a job in a call center parttime. Life in a call centre(2.5yrs) I think every graduate should work in call center for six month and not more than that. what I will write here about that it was also working hell.lol.every minute is counting 3 comapnies of call center I worked all same.they count every minute you go to washroom, toilet, outside, and thats also every day. its like work is not more on some day or less on some day. it s that work is there always.and its simply sucks.its only for high energy young people , it enhances your communication and stress management,more then six month is not good. Leaving the job and preparing for it after 6 years This was a big decision as I told you. I took it and succeeded. after a gap of six years and working hell of call center I think that now is the time that I have to move on to my job. and I took the chance. I started learning programing from for loop and learned 6 months all basic and algorithms, linked list and what not. Getting my first IT job as a associate software engineer(2+yrs) That was one of the happiest day of my life that I deserve my degree to some extent at least as out of 8 candidates that day I was the only one that was able to solve the programming problem and get selected.such a happy day it was. Rigorous learning again(2yrs) for 2 years I learned so much things, .net upto mvc. front end, devops, some big data,api, etc etc etc.. Emotional affair with married woman and heartbreak This I cant tell you what it did to me .its long story if you want to read I asked the question related to same on quora last year, that time idint knew that much worst ahead read link https://justpaste.it/41enq she broke me 70% almost. but good thing was I knew I am wrong in that just this one thing gives me strength to come out of this. Getting fired from my job This is what I was not able to bear and I informed to my bosses that I need a break and they gave me permanent break…..lol. Emotional affairs within girl other caste and fight with parents. another blow omg that time I was desperate for marriage so that I can free from this emotional and physical requirement. I got a contact from a girl from a matrimonial site and we talked around one month and she have all what I wanted , education looks religiousness. we met , we liked each othe and I though now things will get settled and I told her that I will not take anything in dowry and I jst want marriage asap , initially she was hesitant to disclose this in front to her parents before the assurance from my side. and I was 100% sure from my parents side that they will not deny at all. because of whatever happened with me . so I told her . and then I informed my parents but surprisingly my father denied completely and said that go and marry, but leave my house as the girl from other caste , i requeste them so much that after this much long i liked some girl whom i can marry and she knows everything about me , please let me do so. all my family member that time got hold of fake izzat. any how I agree my mother to atleast see the girl they went with me there home and as I know they rejected as our community wont accpet them. so I was very very disheartened but I kept my patience and trust on God that things will get better.It unable to start , i felt so much guilty , the girl cried for 3 days . I asked forgiveness said i can t go against my parents wishes. Second engagement and breakup From there they take me to there relatives who have many daughters to choose from someone and I chose one because I wanted to marry asap. they liked me then again we talked and my sister also to a girl . everyting going fine . the girl side very mch interested for this relationship they want to fix the engagement asap. the day before they are coming to fix this . I dnt want it to be fix on some lie. i called a girl and informed her about my health issue and career issue. they came and got reluctant and without fixing anything went back then after second day they asked us to come to fix things , I was again on cloud nine hundred nine that finally everything fixed. I told them that I have good experience and no problem of a job , i will have a job soon . and for my health I will try to stop the medications. but one thing happened in informing all these to them that I lost my value.and they now are taking me for granted. aisa behave tha jese ahsaan kar rahe hain…we all went there house for engagment , I bought a diamond ring for her , clothes for her of my choice. with my relatives we went there. its not in my mind but my relatives dont like there hosting and made a drama. there come too many things for next 2 days and finally they cancelled the engagement , I asked them to atleast once let me talk to her. what happened.but they didnt allow. I got bedridden for a month. Lost all hope and will to live in all these days my medications jumps from 10mg to 225mg. and it has its side effects also. after last incident I lost all my wish to live at all. I prayed god to please take me away from this world.Because I will never do suicide . its against my religion and believes. but inside me nothing left. this happened in june 2019 and I am able to do lil works in oct and writing now. i decided to left my medications also whatsoever. I will not live a live on medications.If i will live , It will be my own. though I dnt want to live at all this kind of life.I have lost my health career relationship. from last 6 months i dont have any money . my parents giving me just for survival. 1000 pm I am surviving. locked up in my room, left my medications to 66% just 75mg remains. it hurt my body very badly. when I woke up in morning there is a swelling too much of my face every day. i cant focus to do simple work on computer continiously for 3 hrs. but death has not yet occured. so i think still something remains on earth. i am trying to recover. and hoping that good days may come. I have not achieved what I dreamed of. I want to live on the lap of God. The most hurtful thing is my brain condition which is not able to handle simple stresses like above many people may handle above things easily. but its really tough for me now very much . I really dont know what is the life of happiness. though I am fortunate to have able parents who even can support me now.but from inside nothing left. now I am really afraid to continue in engineering because i fear more pressure on brain will do harm to my brain . and rest I dont know what to do. Recovering and never give up I also wanted to live a happy life like many others.I will not suicide. but I dont know until when I can able to handle these pressures.Because now my body and mind is not giving me enough support to fight these pressures.I know people have more hardships then me but its not comparable with anyone to anyone. Positive things in my life:- God Almighty My parents, super supportive, and very patient I love them Hope Good home with all basic facilities My lovely nieces and nephews I am proud that I achieved many things which I decided, like I didn't achieved many. Few good friends. Aur bhi bht hoga jo mujhe abhi yaad nahi aa rha. Thank you God Bless you all.
  18. Olivetree2000

    Olivetree2000: CT Effexor

    Hi all! so I am also on my own journey of stopping Effexor. I however did stop cold turkey. I’m 15 days in and mentally I am completely fine but I would like to reach out to this community to help with the physical side effects. My short term memory seems to have gotten terrible, and I’m quite “in the clouds.” I also have developed pharyngitis coupled with a cough and cannot seem to get rid of it. In the first week I was also very nauseous and I had a fever, but that is no longer the case. I understand my body is in shock so I would like some guidance with some vitamins to try and get it back to strength. I am currently taking Olive Leaf morning and night, and Vitamin C, magnesium and iron in the morning. Please let me know if anyone has some more advice. Thank you so much, olivetree
  19. i started effexor withdrawal one month ago iwas on it for 3 years iwas diagnosed adhd and GAD
  20. Hey! So I’m about 2 years off of effexor on a fast taper (I was on max dose, went down to 0 in 4 weeks by advisement of my psychiatrist). 3 months after I suddenly had horrible debilitating symptoms, attempted to reinstate 3 times, and the 3rd time it spiraled my nervous system into the scariest most challenging physical symptoms I’ve ever had. After a few months I stabilized and was able to adjust my life as continue working without much issue, as long as I stuck to my routine. About a month ago I, without warning, had a severe and sudden downturn. My symptoms are now worse and more debilitating than when I first had the worst of it 2 years ago, and I now can’t stomach food without adrenaline spikes, blips in vision, migraines, and sudden tingling/burning/numbness of my left side. Of course I need to eat, but I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through this and has a way to get through not eating without getting into serious medical danger. My doctors don’t understand very well what to do. My nervous system is more sensitive than ever, and even the slightest mistake causes intense emotional and physical pain. I was on effexor for about a year before stopping, and I’m currently 26.
  21. Hello everyone, I'm not quite sure which topic the following issue and question belongs to .. so please let me know if I should post this in another topic / category. As described in my signature, I completely stopped ingesting venlafaxine after about 3 months of tapering - I know, too fast, I was never informed about withdrawals or the need of a slower taper by my physician. One week after the last pill, various withdrawal symtoms such as brain fog, blurred/limited or "constrained" vision, OCD, tiredness and vertigo all appeared at once. Everything lasted for about 1 month and then, like all of a sudden, the withdrawals just stopped or became much milder. This period, which I like to refer to as my withdrawal "honeymoon," lasted for about 2 weeks. After this, the withdrawal symtoms started to come back, yet this time much more severe. I don't know if it has to do with the 2-3 glasses of champagne I had in New Years (I doubt so), but ever since they came back, they have slowly gotten worse. In the beginning I could still work, see friends and do other things people do in the leisure time but now I am on the sick list since three months, I can barely go or stay outside very long because all my symtoms (especially my visual symtoms) gets worse and my body and brain gets tired really fast. I am home most of the time. I try to exercise and to go out but my symptoms allow me to do very little things before it gets too hard for me. Now I ask you people who know this better than me - is it common for the symptoms to get worse over a period of time (for several weeks/months) before things hopefully turns around and you start feeling better again? I know that I may be a little messy in my explanation and I have certainly posted this in the wrong topic, but please know that I am suffering from a bad brain fog and that I am trying my best. I have already visited an ophthalmologist and I did get my brain scanned and they could find nothing. Still, I'm worried that there may be something else that causes my symptoms, which in turn was caused by effexor. PS -I have tried several supplements and have found that soy protein powder and magnesium tables relieves some of my symtoms. Thank you all in advance, and sorry for the messy text!
  22. I'm Jenny. A forty-two year old housewife from the UK. I've been prescribed various antidepressants since the age of fifteen, but the one I've been taking the longest is Venlafaxine XL (usually 225mg). In 2005 or thereabouts, I began to feel that the antidepressant was not of any great use to me. In my own little bubble of routine and stability, I was perfectly content, but I was deeply confused at my inability to function as others did. I presumed that this had to be a facet of my nondescript mental illness, and reasoned that it should therefore be possible to recover, so I would push myself to "get better" with dreadful results. Thus, I concluded that medication must be necessary after all. Eventually, circa 2015, a locum psychiatrist happened to pick up on a throwaway remark I'd made about my childhood. Upon questioning me further, she realised that many of my difficulties had been present since my earliest years and were therefore unlikely to be manifestations of mental illness. I was referred to the adult developmental disabilities department and - after extensive testing as well as in-depth interviews with my parents and brother - was finally diagnosed with "severe but high-functioning classic autism". It took some time to adjust to this new interpretation of myself. I didn't like it, and I still don't, but it did, at least, make sense. I finally began to understand how to work with my brain rather than battling against it. Since then, I've had several attempts to wean myself off Venlafaxine. I had heard of problems associated with coming off of antidepressants and had indeed experienced a taste of those issues when I happened to forget a dose... but I never imagined that tapering would result in so many unpleasant side effects. This time - partly from having read posts on this forum - I feel more prepared for the onslaught. I'm down to around 70mg per day and experiencing issues such as tachycardia, dreadful indigestion, and a slightly "fuzzy" head. Thus, I think it would be wise to stop at this point for a few weeks before decreasing further. It's frustrating because I want to finally be off this damned drug, but I know I must exercise patience. Anyway, that's it for now. Best wishes to you all.
  23. Hi everyone, Need some advice and support please. See medication history below: Citalopram 20mg approx 2008-2014 Diagnosed cancer April 2014 Swapped to venlafaxine June 2014 severe depression and anxiety Increased dosage up to 300mg extended release venlafaxine All clear cancer Jan 2015 Started withdrawing Feb 2015 did 37.5mg drops and was going well down to 37.5mg June 2016- went cold turkey from 37.5mg on GP recommendation Severe withdrawal Re instated after a week- got impatient, upped to 75mg Stabilised at 75mg after 2 weeks with some lingering head pressure, mild headaches, fatigue October 2016- reduced to 62.5mg. 6 weeks later in November hit by withdrawal symptoms. Re instated back to 75mg. Withdrawal eased within 2 weeks just mild lingering symptoms. January 2017- swapped from 75mg extended release capsules to standard release liquid 37.5mg twice a day. Got shaking, headaches, anxiety,. Psychiatrist said liquid didn't suit me so after 1.5 weeks switched back to 75mg capsules extended release once a day. Back on capsules now for 2 and a half weeks (Feb 2017). Still having awful symptoms. Massive pressure in head, ears, nose, eyes, shaky, crying, brain zaps. Feeling off balance. I'm confused as to why 2 and a half weeks after changing back to my extended release capsules I'm still feeling down and physically awful... am I going to get better? I'm so scared I won't re stabilise, I'm crying as I write this! Hope someone can help. X
  24. Hi everyone, My story is not much different from everyone else's. I have been on Effexor for 6 years and started tapering in April 2020. I hadn't had a clue then so I just dropped down 25% . Later I found the recommended guidelines and tapered no more than 10%. My last taper was in September 2020. And I haven't been able to stabilize ever since. My worst symptoms are dizziness and unsteadiness. It varies from feeling faint all day long to feeling unable to control my legs. I can still walk but it is so scary, weird and frustrating. It feels like I get a push every few steps and I can barely keep myself from falling over. There's a feeling like my head is a big empty box with a brick in it. Every time I move my head the brick hits the walls hard and makes me wobble and freak out. The most frustrating thing is that it's been 9 months since my last taper and there's no improvement. My legs feel like jelly, my balance is poor. I searched this site and haven't been able to find anything similar. I would like to get some reassurance from the wealth of your experience. It feels like everyone gets better but me. Is it possible to feel this way from withdrawal for so long?
  25. Taper sched needed for 375mg Effexor XR, 150 mg Wellbutrin, 350 mg Seroquel XR
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