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Hello all, I started Lexapro in November, 2012 after a 2 month sleep crisis and, as a result, long anxiety attacks for many day (no drugs or psych illness history prior to that). Have been taking 10 mg, and had no side effects, felt rather well. I decided to stop the pills this June (my NP said I could stop any time I wanted; of course, I did not find this site prior to doing so). I took 5 mg for probably 15 days, felt no difference at all, and stopped all together around June 20th. Was feeling okay up until August 20th when I stopped sleeping all together, and in 3 days started having severe suicidal thoughts. I was able to see a psychiatrist on campus (I do not have a GP as I am a foreign student) on August 25th, and she put me back on 10 mg Lexapro and 0.5-1 mg Klonopin. Well, when I took the pills at those doses my anxiety got even worse (I could not imagine it was possible). But then I did not know that I should have started reinstating with 1 mg (read it on SA later). Of course, I did not sleep. I felt crazy and panicky, had non-stop anxiety attacks, did some completely irrational things. On August 30th, I went back on campus to see another psychiatrist. This one seemed to be much more pleasant, less judgmental, understanding and open to what I had to say. Well, he said to decrease Lexapro to 5 mg (just for 2 weeks to decrease the side effects), and gave me Trazodone (50 mg calling it a baby dose). I didn't read on it back then (my doctor said it was non-habit forming and it was enough for me to relax and not do my research), and it seemed to help somewhat at first. I still would get very broken sleep (10/10:30 pm - 3:30 am, then up every 20/40 mins, listen to a meditation YouTube video, then dose off for 30 mins, and that would happen until around 5/6 am). However, I felt slightly better, especially compared to the peak of the crisis on August 20-30, so I figured I was healing. Little did I know. My sleep kept being very broken on Trazodone. About 2 weeks ago I started looking it up, saw all the disastrous info on it on SA (I know how much Alto despises it) and other websites and completely freaked out. It might somehow contributed to the drug's having stopped working as a sleeping aid all together. Now its 10/2/2016, I have barely slept since 8/20/2016, I'm on 5 mg of Lexapro and 25 mg of Trazodone (went down from 50 mg on 9/25/16 - did not notice any difference), and I am nowhere close to stabilizing. The symptoms I have are terrible insomnia, severe anxiety, fatigue, desperation, and terrible dark thoughts.I do not think I can take it any longer. I really want to get off Trazodone (I know you saying 10% off every 2-3 months, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to pull it off). I am absolutely alone in country (I don't have family, have some friends but no one even remotely close to talk about AD's withdrawal, reinstating, stabilizing and all that). Should I keep 5 mg Lex in hope to stabilize? Again, one of the reasons I do not want to increase it as it'll be easier to taper from 5mg. Can I rely on it for sleep when it finally starts working? Can I quit Trazodone? [Also, from Traz I have really nasty palm sweats.. Anything I touch with my hands gets soaking wet instantly.. ] I hate the idea of any psych drugs, but Trazodone appears to be my worst enemy as it's been added so recently, so harmful and does not help. I've been on it for only 30 days now, I still barely sleep and am terrified and desperate. I wanted to switch Traz to Remeron (7.5 mg) 2 weeks ago but freaked out (due to the other people's reviews on how it affects appetite, hormones, weight gain, etc.). Can I do it now? I know that keeping switching pills is the worst one can do but since 50 mg of Traz did not help anyway.. And if I stabilize on Remeron, it'd much easier to taper from 7.5 mg vs. 25 mg of Traz. You all talk a lot about meditation, mindfulness, yoga, healthy eating. I was doing most of it while being on Lex and feeling well, but now I just can't anymore. I need to feel better to get back to any of those tools. I am an absolute mess right now. Please, advise. I really don't have anyone else to turn to.

This is really more like a side-effect from taking SSRIs rather than the symptom of WD itself, but some of those who are still on drugs and are getting ready for tapering may find it really helpful. Weight gain While on drugs my body weight went up by about 55-60 pounds. I was able to get rid of it thanks to lowering my carbs intake. What worked in your case? Interestingly, no amount of physical exercise was enough in my case to help lose weight - the whole endocrine system, metabolism, and what not, was so much out of whack, that even running three marathons a day wouldn't do a thing.

Hi everyone. I’m so happy to have found this website. I’m not an English native speaker, but will try to share my story. I have been on Lexapro for around 4 years now, and since Januari of this year I have tapered my dose from 7,5mg to 1mg. It was prescribed to me for chronic depression, and I’ve been seeing psychologists for most of my life. Since end of last year I’m doing better due to some events in my live and having found a more holistic approach and tools to battle my mental issues. This helped me make the decision to try tapering the Lexapro again. I have very limited medical support with this process. My GP prescribed me the drug at the time, but it became clear quite soon that they had no idea about the side effects. Also, one other psychiatrist told me that if I was unhappy about Lexapro, I should try another drug. I refuse to do so, because I’m so tired of being on these drugs. I lost faith in modern day psychiatry. I am looking into the tips on tapering after reducing the dose to 1 mg. For now I plan to reduce to 0,9 mg by diluting the drop of Lexapro liquid in water. Hope to be able to share experiences with users here, as this seems the only place where I can get help. Thank you.

Hello. New here. I started Lexapro towards the end of June 2023. I was on 2.5 mg for two weeks. 5 for two weeks. 7.5 for two weeks and 10 for 6 weeks before I started tapering off. I tapered off under doctors recs. I didn't know any better. While I was on the drug I had this awful heavy body feeling and muscle tension. Whenever I would go up the next dose I would have hyperreflexia and my joints would just twitch at night while trying to fall asleep. I've been off 3 and a half months. The first 3 weeks I was about getting back to normal. I went and got botox one day, and I don't know if it was the botox or if it would have happened anyway but i fell hard into withdrawl. Oddly on the meds and on my bad days, I notice my joints don't crack like they normally do. It's weird. My blood pressure for three weeks in December was insane. It would go into the high 40s and then shoot up into the 70s. That seems to be stable now. Still dealing with the heavy body feeling. Loss of sensation. Muscle tension and sometimes twitching. I had a few day window last week, where I felt almost 100 percent back to normal. My dry eyes are killing me. Followed by today where I don't have much sensation on my arms or hands. My head feels 200 lbs. And I have extreme muscle tension in the back of my head. Are there even muscles there? How can that even hurt so bad. The cervical spine area seems to be the worst. I went to PT to try and help, but I don't think it did anything. I see people that never recover and I just worry I will hit a wave and never come out.

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

Escitalopram tapering, i think i am dealing with withdrawal? I could use some help/ advice Hi ! i'm new here. I'm in the process of tapering. Until now I tapered down based on instructions of my doc. I really have the feeling they underestimate impact it has on people. It has been more than 3 weeks since the last drop to 5mg. I'm still dealing with: Physical: * problems with my stomach and intestines. I had diarrhea and then constipation for several days and now diarrhea again. Nausea is significantly reduced but still have bouts of nausea * Tinnitus much worse than usual * Headaches from time to time but seems to get less * a feeling in my head like my brain is too small for my head. * a very weird dizzy feeling in my head like you're on a boat. Sometimes I'm literally going back and forth a bit. This seems to be getting less * sometimes very dizzy standing up after picking something of the floor * night sweating, this seems to get better Mental: * I have a kind of constant feeling of dread / doom. I really feel it in my head and not my body and it is without any reason (hard to explain). * Overall feeling of bleeehhh. * more anxiety * I feel somewhat more depressed. * Can't concentrate * it's harder to deal with stressful situations * my memory seems to be worse. The weird thing also is 2 weeks after the drop I had some good days (3 or 4) and both mental and physical symptoms where better but then the symptoms came back with vengeance and i am in a bad way since. Are these from withdrawal .....since the last drop is already more than 3 weeks ago?? My plan is to see how i feel on 5mg for a good while and than taper down to 0. I would really appreciate some feedback if the symptoms i feel could be withdrawal and some advice on how long to stay on 5mg and the future taper to 0. Thanks !!

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

I started to taper off Prozac 20mg 5/2020. I got down to 3mg 11/2020. I became depressed. Under the care of my Doctor Psychiatrist, From 12/2020 to 5/2021 I have started and stopped 5 different meds and increase and decrease Lamictal. My brain is a mess. I have had every thing from Brain zapping, brain numbing, paranoia, headaches, insomnia, muscle weakness, unexplainable fear, intrusive thought that have turned into ocd, left side of my face and eye hurt on and off, unable think clearly, slow speech, anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, nausea, weight loss, I can't even name it all. On 5mg Lexapro 37.5mg lamictal, and 25mg of trazadone Started Lexapro 4/3/2021 Slow titration,, my brain is very, very drug sensitive, 4/14 7.5mg. side effects so bad, and anger, anxiety through the roof, doctor encouraged my to go up 4/30 10mg. Could not take the side effects dropped 4/10 7.5mg. Doctor said he does know if he can help me. Told me to stop Lexapro, and go on a med holiday . 4/16 Lexapro 5mg. Holding,. don't know what to do? Do I hold here for awhile. Doctor is no help. He thinks I can stop Lexapro with in 2 weeks. Since I dropped down lexapro 5mg and started L theanine and Magnesium glycinate, things are slightly better. I found a new doctor but can not get in until the end of June. Since I am so close to no drugs I would like to see if I can continue my goal of being drug free. Med history 1995? Prozac 20mg not help anxiety ? Paxil Caused anger stop Serzone More depressed 1998 St Johns wart stop 1998 Prozac 20mg 1998 trazadone 50mg took for a few months stop 2000 lexapro 20mg. 2015 taper off Lexapro, fast taper a few month crash tried to reinstate Lexapro did not work Tried Effexor, did not work stop Oct 2015 Hospital 1 week Seroquel xr 50mg Viibryd 20mg. Did not even get up to 20mg. So drugged, I could not hardly work 30 minutes after taking so dizzy. Stopped at home 12/2016 Abilify, couldn't tolerate stop 12/16 Wellbutrin couldn't tolerate stop 12/16 Stopped Seroquel xr 50mg. To nauseated and couldn't eat. Heartburn Don't remember tapering 1/2016 Prozac 20mg. slight improvement 5/2016 Lamictal 200mg. 5/2020 through 11/2020 taper Prozac down to 3mg. depression and anxiety insomnia 12/2/2020 Zoloft 12.5mg 12/13 25mg. 12/24 37.5mg 12/28 50mg. Bad side effects Felt like brain sitting on eclectic fence 4 day tapper stop 1/5/2021 up lamictal from 200mg to 300mg. 1/13 lamictal 400mg. Brain started ruminating and obsessing 1/17 lamictal 300mg. 1/22 lamictal 200mg 1/22/2021 Seroquel 50mg for sleep Became paranoid. nausea headaches 1/29 stopped 1/29/2021 Trazadone 50mg 4/25 25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg. 2/24 100mg 4/9 75mg 4/21 37.5 2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg. Became hypo manic 2/16 stopped 2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr 3/3 100mg 3/17 150mg side effects to much, arm and leg muscles became very week, nausea headaches 4/23/2021 panicked and stopped. doc not return my call Brain went crazy, paranoia ( should have learned, not to try it again) 4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg 4/14 7.5mg 4/30 10mg 5/10 7.5mg 5/16 5mg Now: 5mg Lexapro 37.5 Lamictal 25mg trazadone L theanine 200mg Magnesium glycinate 100mg Omega 3 2000mg Turmeric 1500mg .5 mg melatonin

Hello all, In 2009 I had an adverse reaction to only 4 pills of Lexapro (Escitalopram) which took me around 4.5 years to recover from. My road was a very bumpy one as I had lots of waves, so it was very difficult for me to see where I was in the recovery process. And though it took a lot of time to really feel recovered, in the end I did. So to everyone who is still in the thick of it, keep on going and remind yourself that even if you do not feel well at the moment, the next big recovery step can be right around the corner. I cannot recount how often I was about to lose hope when the next bad wave struck and I thought that this is my life now. But it isn't. I wish you all a steady recovery. As hard as it may seem now, it will get better eventually! All the best, Maybe

Hello, I'm a 34F and I'm here because I saw this site recommended on a piece done by the BBC called The Anti-Depressant Story. A lot of what I heard in that documentary was an eye opener and validating. I have experienced the negative effects of withdrawal, and also the negative effects of long term Lexapro use. I'm over it and my goal is to one day be 100% anti-depressant free. Like many I was promised time and again that I would be on anti-depressants for a short time, psychology would really help, and I could stop easily. I'm also here because I recently had a very bad experience dropping from 20mg Lexapro to 15mg for 2 weeks then 10mg for 4 weeks which lead to me feeling suicidal and broken. Here is my background to give all this some context: ~2007 or 2008 diagnosed with depression started Lovan (fluoxetine) unsure of dose and timeframe. Stopped cold turkey. Probably started up again during the early 2010's but I can't remember much of the details or my life during this time. ~2015 - Started Lexapro again at 10mg due to depression/ toxic relationship. I recall going up to 20mg before 2018. 2018 - Felt like 20mg Lexapro wasn't working anymore so my doctor at the time had me drop down the Lexapro to try Fluoxetine and then when that didn't work to Sertraline and when that didn't work I went back to Lexapro 10mg which stabilised me. During that time of transition the doctor recommended the 'standard' drop down of around 2 to 4 weeks of one medication, stopping completely if needed, then starting a new one. Rinse and repeat. Sertraline and Fluoxetine didn't help, and during the whole time I my mood was low, irritable, snappy, crying, hopeless etc. At the worst I was trembling and full of energy that I would yell and tremble to release my pent up energy, while at the same time also being exhausted. It was a horrible experience. For context I was having a hard time at work and was going through some major life events. 2019-September 2022: 10mg Lexapro. Other things of note: September 2021 - Bells Palsy with post viral fatigue lasting 4-5 months. March 2022 - Bells palsy again caught early, post viral fatigue again less severe this time, but had a horrible time withdrawing from high dose of prednisolone 50mg per day for 14 days. September 2022 Diagnosed with Long Covid with severe fatigue, heart palpitations, anxiety + panic, recurrence of pain and symptoms associated with the side of my face affected by bells palsy. Discussed upping my dose of Lexapro to 20mg with my new doctor which we began immediately to help with the anxiety. It helped get me stabilised and I saw good, but very slow progress with my long covid symptoms and anxiety. I work from home and the amount I can work per day started at about 2 hours and grew back to almost full time hours by June 2023. June 2023: Spoke to my doctor about lowering dose of Leaxpro back down to 10mg since I was feeling stable mood-wise for some time and Long Covid symptoms were improving steadily. I recalled my sh*tty time switching meds in the past and was resolute to ask to taper down slower than I had previously. I had read an article about hyperbolic dose reduction of Lexapro, and was keen to discuss a slower titre down to 10mg. The doctor said I would be just fine going straight down to 10mg, when I pressed about my bad experiences in the past even suggesting I go down to 15mg first, he stuck firm to the fact I wouldn't need to. I no longer see this doctor for this reason and for his waning support of my experiences with Long Covid. I lowered my dose to 15mg by taking half 20mg tablet + half 10mg tablet to get 15mg. Duration 2 weeks approximately (I didn't record the exact date I started) experienced brain zaps, low mood irritability, low appetite. July 1 2023: Dropped dose to 10mg tablet of Lexapro. Again, brain Zaps, low moods, irritable etc. August 5 2023: Went back up to 20mg (own decision) because I had been feeling so low for the last month with no improvement, fatigue was also increasing, heart palpitations were back, felt like my health was also suffering along with my mental health. August 8th 2023: Went to ED due to severe thoughts of self harm, felt completely hopeless and unheard by medical professionals. I am now linked in with support services. One of the services were short term which included a mediccal review by a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist recommended that I stay on the 20mg until I was stable with the potential to up the dose to 30mg if I don't improve. (Because I definitely wanted more Lexapro haha!) He tossed around the ideas of switching meds and even trying anti psychotics, while also agreeing I didn't appear to have any psychotic episodes or symptoms(?!). So it was another meh experience, but at least he did appear to be thoughtfully considering what I was saying and agreed that switching to a different anti-depressant during times of crisis isn't a good idea. I got prescribed some 5mg Valium tablets to only take when I was having panic attacks until the Lexapro 20mg had kicked in. I have taken 2.5mg cut tablet on two separate occasions of a panic attack, and 5mg for a severe down spiral. These were spaced out and are only taken as needed. I don't want to add addiction to the list of issues I have too! So here we are today, I have a new doctor and we have tackled the immediate issues with my health, she seems to be listening and is thoughtful and encouraging. I am recognising that what happened wasn't a relapse, but most likely withdrawal symptoms which then spiralled. I don't want to be on Lexapro any longer than I need to, and definitely not at this dose. I dislike the memory issues I suffer from, dry skin, sexual disfunction (and all the rest that comes with that, which I learned from the documentary could be permanent!! No one told me, all doctors said "hmm thats really sucks"). I am back on 20mg for 3.5 weeks now and will wait until my mood and health have stabilised before I discuss lowering my dose again with my new doctor. Having had my life turned upside down with long covid/post viral fatigue for the past year has changed my life and also given me the space and time to work on myself. All of these 'lows' have helped give me the determination to put in the long term time to improve and better my life. I'd love all of your support as this all begins; in stabilising, then reducing again sloooowly. I can do this!

Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.

Hello, I was hoping someone could give me some advice about some severe symptoms I've been experiencing since switching from Lexapro to Prozac and back again. Here is my story: Diagnosed with OCD and depression at 18. Prescribed 60 mg Prozac which I eventually manage to reduce to 30 mg. Continue taking this dose of Prozac for about 20 years. At the end of last year Prozac seems to have lost its effectiveness so I speak to my doctor about switching to Lexapro which I've heard has less side effects. As instructed by my doctor I reduce my Prozac dose to 20 mg for two weeks, wait 5 days without medication, and then start on 10 mg Lexapro. Soon after starting Lexapro I develop some very unpleasant side-effects, most notably heart palpitations and tinnitus. I speak with the doctor who tells me not to be concerned because the side effects are caused by "anxiety". Against my better judgment I continue taking the Lexapro for a total of 25 days. At this point the palpitations are so bad I have to stop taking the Lexapro immediately. I wait two days and then reinstate the Prozac at 40 mg. Things seem to be reasonably okay for about 3 weeks before all hell breaks loose. I wake up in the middle of the night with such extreme palpitations and dizziness that I end up in ER. However, the doctors find nothing wrong with my heart, conclude its anxiety and send me home. Two hellish weeks of palpitation induced insomnia and intermittent akathesia follow. During this time I have a number of medical tests but nothing abnormal shows up in the results. The palpitations are worse when I lie down and though they cause some anxiety I am convinced they are not caused by anxiety. It feels like the part of my nervous system responsible for controlling my heart has been physically damaged in some way. When I try to explain this to my psychiatrist and cardiologist they don't understand. The psychiatrist gives me Valium and the cardiologist gives me a beta blocker. None of these seem to make much difference so I'm given some Ambien to help me sleep. I take the Ambien for about 5 nights before I decide I'd rather deal with the insomnia. Eventually I get some kind of sleep, but it is still very fragmented and the palpitations persist. My chest feels really tight as if my heart is being pushed up against my chest bone and the palpitations are worsened by lying down, eating or feeling cold. I lose my appetite and drop from 78 to 69 kgs in weight. I start filming my sleep so that I can show my doctor what happens. The footage shows me suffering from hypnic jerks and muscle twitching. These jerks are accompanied by electric shock like sensations that wake me up. During the day I am still tortured by this uncomfortable feeling in my chest and the ongoing palpitations. It feels like my heart has a mind of its own and has been knocked out of sync with the rest of my body. The tinnitus (a loud, high-pitched ringing) also continues. After 18 years at the same company I have to take sick leave for the first time. I have been off work for a month now and have no idea when I'll be able to go back. I continue to take 30 mg Prozac because I feel things would be even worse without it. During the day I walk because this seems to help with the palpitations. I've started taking Magnesium L Threonate and krill oil supplements. I desperately want my life back.

Are the doctors right? Insomnia. I gave birth to my son in March 2019 and experienced terrible postpartum anxiety. My psychiatrist put me on 20mg Lexapro (escitalopram) which I commenced on the 17th June 2019. In October I saw my psychiatrist and told him I wanted to taper off Lexapro - he told me to take 15mg for one week, 10mg for one week and then 5mg for the final week (three week taper). My last pill was on the 14th November 2019 and the day after my last pill I couldn’t sleep. Ever since then I have experienced terrible insomnia. I either find it hard to fall asleep or I wake a few times per night. My psychiatrist and doctor believe that my anxiety is waking me during the night but I think the insomnia is a withdrawal symptom. What are your thoughts? And is there anything I can do to ease my insomnia? Do I need to go back on Lexapro (6 weeks without the meds) and then taper more slowly? I have had my anxiety under control but the lack of sleep is sinking me downhill again.

Hello, This is my first post on this forum after lurking for a couple years while tapering off of Zoloft, starting at age 20. I thought I had the taper under control for most of that time, but all the changes seem to have caught up with me. I am feeling skeptical that this is going to pass and that I will ever be able to get off of this medication. Anxiety, panic attacks, and physical disorientation and discomfort have kept me effectively homebound for a few months now, with no sign of cessation; it is discomfort far greater than I have ever experienced in my life. My sleep is often interrupted, and sometimes I am awake for up to 40 hours at a time due to physical stress. I cannot walk around my neighbourhood, let alone take the bus, go to the store, or participate in work or school; I can do very little physical activity at home, and have to be extremely cautious with my dietary choices. I am currently taking no supplements, but I am considering trying L-Theanine or Taurine, which I understand to be neuroprotective. Gabapentin seemingly helped me through medication changes in the past before, but I am skeptical of adding a new drug into the mix. My doctor had been helpful with the taper, but suddenly changed her tune after I was finally honest about the problems I was having, and is now of the opinion that I need to be on this drug forever (her words), completely disregarding the fact that many of my symptoms are purely physical and could not be explained by my "original condition" (as she maintains is the case.) Additionally, I have been adamant that going back on medication is not an option; Zoloft caused me to uncontrollably engage in extremely self-destructive and reckless behaviour (drinking by myself until passing out, sleeping with strangers using no protection, reckless driving); prior to taking medication, I was a quiet, introverted guy who liked gaming and fantasy literature, and had neither taken a sip of alcohol nor intended to. I also believe it is responsible for a sudden complete and unprecedented shift in sexuality (from heterosexuality to homosexuality) and strong gender dysphoria. I do not know which mechanism of the drug could have caused this, but there is no other suitable explanation, as these acquired traits have both completely subsided, directly synchronous with my taper. When I told my doctor that the medication had these effects on me, she prescribed me Seroquel (which I am, of course, not taking); despite my calm demeanour over the phone, she clearly thinks that I am delusional. I certainly learned my lesson through this, and will no longer say any more than is necessary to avoid seeming belligerent. Out of all the people in my life, only my mother and my girlfriend believe me that Zoloft caused me to have this dramatic personality shift that endangered my life, and they are both very supportive of me in general. My father, who is currently financially supporting me, albeit reluctantly, is of the same mind as my doctor; he believes that I have a genetic defect and must be medicated permanently. Overall, however, he has been surprisingly tolerant, and I have a safe place to live where my needs are being taken care of. I have undergone thorough medical examination, and have been determined to be in good physical health, aside from a recent POTS diagnosis that I believe is a result of my taper and is causing many of my symptoms. To sum everything up: I am trapped in a world of discomfort, and have no idea what my next steps should be. Any help at all is appreciated. I am only a young guy, and the future is not looking bright right now. I am really scared that I have damaged my body and brain beyond repair both by taking the medication for so long at such a high dose and in tapering improperly. Having said that, I am feeling much more like myself, and I know that I am on the right track. P.S. I apologize if any part of my post violates content guidelines. I was aiming for as much clarity as possible but any offending parts can certainly be removed.

Am I in the right place to ask about advice to taper medication as an advocate for my husband?

Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hello everyone! I recently found this website, and suddenly my last few weeks of experience with lexapro have begun to make a lot of sense! I am so grateful for all this community does to help people dealing with the adverse effects of antidepressants and withdrawal. Here is my story. I am hoping for any insights on how to proceed. I do have a psychiatrist, but unfortunately this is not a very well understood phenomenon in the medical community. I am also struggling with self blame and worry that I will become a person who has gotten messed up irreversibly, and I know those are cognitive distortions, but any positive vibes in those departments would still be great! Backstory I’ve been on lexapro twice in my life for several years at a time for GAD, did great, had nausea upon first starting out and some irritability on tapering but overall found it quite helpful and with minimal side effects. I never cold turkeyed - both times I weaned over months if not years under medical supervision. I was also always a good sleeper: could sleep 9+ hours easy. Fast forward to this holiday season. I’m not on lexapro, stable for 6 months. Then I start getting random heart pounding throughout the morning and trouble falling asleep—every time I would try my heart pounded. Got medical workup, all good. Over the course of a week, I tried several sleep meds, including valerian root, Trazodone up to 100 mg, Benadryl and gabapentin up to 400 mg, which helped sleep minimally and only messed me up more: caused daytime anxiety or disinhibition or over tiredness. Some nights I took both trazodone and benadryl. In the end I took a 150mg dose of Benadryl in a desperate attempt to sleep. At about that time I resumed lexapro because my doc figured it was underlying anxiety causing sleep trouble, though in retrospect I don't think I was really that anxious. Kindling? Then I had weird symptoms for 2 weeks, including ongoing insomnia (troubles staying asleep), inappropriate sexual arousal that felt like a pain in my genitals, restlessness, a sense of fight or flight including trouble breathing and a sense of urgency and discomfort in your own skin, sometimes with shortness of breath and chest tightness, oftentimes after eating which I know makes very little sense, poor appetite, lots of stools though not diarrhea, random itching including itching that woke me in the middle of the night). None of the above is my regular old GAD, by the way. My usual anxiety is more mental: turning over worst case scenarios in my head and all that. I had never had any of the above symptoms before, so I chalked it up to withdrawal from my overuse of sleep meds. My doctor, too, told me that sometimes anxiety can morph into other forms, but I was skeptical, feeling like "this is chemical." I also wondered if I was histamine intolerant and started a low histamine diet, which by the way sucks, but I doubt hurts anything because I can still eat enough of a variety of foods. Most of the above symptoms evened out over 2-3 weeks except for upset stomach and fatigue whenever I ate, and I could get unbroken sleep only every other night. So my doc and I decreased lexapro to 5 mg after about a month of being on 10mg, since we thought 5 mg would be more tolerable. Taper First week into the taper, appetite declined so I have to count calories just to make sure I get enough. I itched at times but that’s a minimal issue. There were flutters of restlessness and “monkey mind” here and here and there, and a bit of genital swelling, but overall manageable. The second week sleep got worse: before I would wake and just not be able to resume sleep, but now I would wake with ragged breathing and struggle to resume sleep and be anxious about it. Before that I would just wake up and be awake. I take valerian root for sleep in tiny doses: 1/4 of the 500mg caps per night. I don’t want to take it, but worry about going back to a time when I slept 4 hours per night if that at the beginning of this journey. (Re)-Increase So then on 2/15 doc and I figured I should try a slower taper and do 7.5mg. I did that for 2 days and on day 2 (2/16) the fight or flight returned: restless, uncomfortable in my skin, a swelling sensation in my genitals. I took an extra 2.5 mg (for a total of 10 mg) and later that day felt like my skin had a sunburn for about an hour. I went down to lexapro 5 mg for a day, then back up to 7.5 mg and have been on that dose for the past 4 days. Well, sure enough the "chemical" feeling anxiety did decline and is almost gone, the skin warmth increased and then declined (I also had cold-like symptoms but not objective fever), and inappropriate arousal has also improved (except for today, when it seems worse). I also had some looser stools and the jury is still out on whether that's getting better or worse. [TL;DR] If you got this far, thank you :). My questions are as follow: -- Does it seem like I might be dealing with kindling (or re-kindling)? I'm not sure I fully understand kindling... When it occurs, does it decline? Or do medication side effects sometimes look a lot like a kindling phenomenon? -- re: kindling: if I kindled myself as I backtracked on my lexapro taper, what now? Is it best to hold steady, or to taper? Should I wait and see? There's been a couple days of back and forth but overall I've been on lexapro 7.5 mg for less than a week. If I taper again I will ask my doc for liquid lexapro and decrease very slowly, as I have learned from this site. TIA for reading and for any insights! Keep fighting the good fight.

Hello All, it's been a long time since I have logged in here and posted. My story is located here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7761-%E2%98%BC-aeroman-hello-from-aeroman/?st=0 I have been good, fully recovered from Lexapro and Cipro use. I don't think about withdrawal anymore. The answer was TIME and GOD in both cases. For those that are new to withdrawal, don't fret, you will be OK. I know the beginning months are scary but it won't last forever. Feel free to ask me questions as I am sure you will have many..especially doubts within yourself. Aeroman

Hi, I found this site a couple of weeks ago and have slowly been starting to wonder if what I’ve been going through the past 18 months is related to SSRI withdrawal. I managed to successfully withdraw from Lexapro at the end of 2010, after over 13 years of AD use. I had various fluctuating symptoms for a couple of months, but then apart from constant ringing in my ears and a return of occasional anxiety, I seemed to be ok. I was studying to be a chi-ball instructor, was exercising regularly, was eating healthy and was generally quite happy. After getting off Lexapro, I had been diagnosed with adult ADD and been put on medication for that. It worked well for a couple of weeks and seemed to completely cure what remained of my anxiety, but then I started to get extreme restlessness, OCD like symptoms, irritability and an increase in my sensitivity, to sounds and lights. I assumed it was a bad reaction to the stimulant medication. My life has been a confusing nightmare since the end of 2010 really, but until I found this site a couple of weeks ago, it really didn’t occur to me that my ongoing problems were being caused by a medication I stopped taking over 2 years ago. I’ve had a lot of stress in my life starting from an early age and have always been sensitive and anxious. There has been some violent crime and sexual abuse, but I seemed to be ok until I got myself into a psychologically abusive marriage. That’s when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started on Zoloft. For a couple of years it took the edge off my anxiety, but I never thought I had depression, but the Zoloft just made me feel generally numb, so I endured my marriage, for several more years until it became unbearable, tried to communicate with my ex-husband so that things would improve, but he wasn’t interested in change, he was already in his next relationship and had been for a while, I didn’t know that at the time though. Then I went through about 4 years of extremely frightening separation/divorce and ongoing court proceedings. . There were other extremely stressful things I’ve had to deal with over the last 10 years, but I’m not going to go into details. I have been thinking that what I’m going through is a combination of long term stress, anxiety/depression, a ‘dark night of the soul’, menopause and/or some kind of spiritual transformation like kundalini, because I have engaged in various spiritual practises through my life. At times its felt like my CNS is completely burned out or that I have some kind of serious hormonal imbalance, but I gave up trusting the medical profession, including psychologists after years of not being able to get any help from any of them and only ending up feeling worse and that its all my fault for not trying hard enough. I’ve had lots therapy, counselling and done various support groups over the last 15 years, nothing has been any significant help. I went back to college to study psychology and started a business, but that all fell apart when the marital abuse became worse and the divorce proceedings began. Since finding this site, I’ve stopped taking all psychotropic medication, realizing that anything which effects my brain is having an exaggerated negative effect on my recovery. For a long time I’ve noticed that even small amounts of caffeine, half a glass of wine or even an anti-histamine will have a very bad effect on me, but I was thinking it was my imagination. I can’t even eat chocolate any more without suffering the next day. I’m exhausted all the time, but it’s a weird kind of fatigue, its like a combination mental/emotional tiredness, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. I spend most of my time at home, on the internet on my bed, just doing the things I need to do to take care of myself and my teenage daughter. Its very difficult just getting out to buy a few groceries, but when I do go out, I function perfectly in a kind of dissociated way, like I’m not even in my own body, I’m watching myself like from a distance, wondering who it is that’s behaving so ‘normally’ when I’m feeling so awful. Waves of negative emotions seem to get triggered by almost everything around me and almost every thought, I try not to think about things or do much of anything so I can avoid the emotional pain that thoughts or experiences bring, its like a kind of forced meditation. This symptom was at its worst from November 2011 – August 2012, but its not as bad now, seems to be settling down, I think its improved by about 50%. Please would someone take a look at the details in my signature and give me an opinion if protracted anti-depressant withdrawal might be a factor in my current health problems which include: Waking at 5am with racing thoughts Feeling like I haven’t slept at all Nausea, shaking, dizziness, body pressure, muscle twitches Waves of negative emotion Hot/cold flashes, sweating Constant ringing in my ears Sensitive to sound, light and smells Can’t watch TV or listen to the radio because its too stimulating Most things are too stimulating now, including being around other people too long Loss of appetite and loss of weight Hair falling out Agoraphobia, mostly during the day, I’m able to go out easier late afternoon towards evening Memory problems and mental confusion Loss of confidence. Loss of interest in doing anything or going anywhere Can’t get any pleasure out of things any more Loss of hope I needed to put more detail in my signature, but that’s all that would fit. From about 2006 – 2008 I was also taking duramine (a prescription stimulant weight loss med) to try and lose all the weight I’d put on from being on SSRI meds. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to try and provide a clear picture of my situation. Thank you Petu

Hello, My situation began when I developed an eating disorder after gaining a lot of weight in High School. I didn't have much support from my relatives growing up and was emotionally neglected. I was taught to just deal with "It", no matter what the "It" was, without guidance. Due to that mentality, I was able to hide my disorder for a long time, no one noticed or cared. I didn't consider myself depressed when I lost all the weight, and it became my self-esteem. When I was in my early 20's, I got married and moved away, I couldn't hide it anymore, and decided to get help. I went to a local psychiatrist, and he immediately prescribed Prozac to "help me" stop and suggested a counselor. At first the Prozac helped, I'd get upset and literally two mins later, I couldn't remember why. I saw my counselor, but it was just rehashing the past or current problems, no advice on how to work it out, accept and heal. After gaining 15 pounds, I resumed my disorder. I didn't realize at the time, that nothing was working. My family moved to another state, I was still on Prozac and only had a general physician (GP). As the years went on, medicines were changed, and my disorder continued. After 9 years on meds, I stopped the eating disorder. Then, while working a job that was very stressful (cold marketing), I was referred to a psychiatrist, who also prescribed Xanax prn for anxiety and finally Seroquel for insomnia. My psych kept upping my dose of Seroquel because the insomnia would come back (tolerance). I had side effects with the medications I was on long term (Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, and Seroquel), but because I was on some of them at different times, I didn't realize it. I had restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, irregular heartbeat, high eye pressure, clenching/grinding my teeth, binge drinking, anxiety, mood swings, aggression, insomnia and chronic pain - none of which I had before taking the meds. Each time I saw my GP, I was told that it was a new malady - an autoimmune disorder, neuropathy disorders, fibromyalgia, extreme stress, etc... So, I was given other drugs on top of the antidepressants. I was not advised, about weight gain on Lexapro (not good for a history of an eating disorder), so when I gained 30 pounds from it, I relapsed my disorder 14 years after I'd quit - no weight came off, so I stopped the disorder again 6 months later, for good. A couple years later, I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, I asked my psych for a trial run of quitting, I was told "No, you could relapse and make things worse". I reluctantly stayed on them. Three years after that, my psychiatrist was fired/let go (or so I was told) and moved out of the area. There was no warning, and I was almost out of meds, I only found out because I called for my next refill appt, and my psych had already been gone for a month! I was lucky enough to have his office give me a month's worth of my meds until I could find another psych (which I have not done). Suddenly, I was terrified it could happen again, so I decided to go off them. A few years before, I switched to a new general physician. I was on 40mg Lexapro and 800mg Seroquel. I knew if I went cold turkey, it could be bad, so I began my taper. The Lexapro, I tapered 30 pills took me about 2 months, concurrently with the Seroquel, which I tapered at the same time, 60 pills, took me almost 8 months. I have been off all meds for 3 months now. The withdrawal from the Lexapro wasn't bad, just the brain zaps, but that could be because the Seroquel was still in my system - I was lucky. During the first 3 months of the Seroquel taper, I felt ok, some rumination, self-doubt, and insomnia. I even had a period of feeling great (I know now I was hypomanic), I'd stabilize and then go down more. Once I reached 12mg, about 3 1/2 months in, the withdrawal symptoms started and progressively built on each other until I stopped my taper. I started having anxiety, anhedonia, irritation, dread, tooth and jaw pain, anger, memory gaps/loss, confusion. At 6mgs I had a severe panic attack 8-hours long, felt like I was going to die, my husband helped me calm down. I saw my new GP, told her what I'd done and got immediate support. She gave me a prescription for 5 pills of Klonopin .5mg. (I haven't had to use any). I was having adrenaline surges, I couldn't watch thrillers/scary movies or the news, or drive my car, or go anywhere by myself. I stayed at 6mg for a month to stabilize. At 3mgs I was still having adrenaline surges, then heart palpitations, acne and vesicles on my upper body. My emotions were everywhere, crying, anger, anhedonia, catastrophizing, and rumination. I stayed at 3mg for a month then, when I calmed a bit, finally stopped altogether. I've been educated quite a bit since finding this site a month ago, it's been a Godsend. I'm always looking up symptoms and reading other's experiences, and this has helped me more than anything. Looking back, I should have tapered slower (I didn't know), and I try not to worry or be scared about the consequences of not doing that. I know everyone's experience is different and I'm hopeful, but on guard. Being three months out, although some of the symptoms have calmed down greatly, I'm still experiencing them, some acute and a few new weird ones. Waves and windows happen from time to time and I'm in a window right now. Good things... Most of the side effects that I had while on the drugs - restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, binge drinking, and chronic pain, are gone so far, they disappeared during the taper. I also lost all of the weight I gained on the Lexapro once I stopped it, without even trying. Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has shared their experiences, for your knowledge and for a place to tell my story.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. Back in September 2020 I was driven to the ER for what I now know was a panic attack (heart racing, blurry vision, dizziness, etc.). I saw a neurologist at the ER, whom I followed up with shortly after in October 2020. The neurologist took one look at me, told me I was anxious, and sent me out the door with a prescription for 10mg Lexapro (which is unfortunately far too common). I started taking this on 10/20/2021. The first week on this seemed to amplify all anxious symptoms, but then surprisingly made me feel great (calmer, more energized, optimistic, etc.). I didn't ask questions as I was fairly naive at the time and trusted the neurologist's decision. A few months in I started experiencing days of extreme fatigue, and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision. I managed to ignore these and attributed them to migraines. Fast forward to February 2021. The days of fatigue and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision are still happening, yet more frequently. I also noticed a general sense of feeling numb, as if things did not matter as much. I remember one day I forgot to take my dose (for the first time) and I made it until about noon at work. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, head pressure, racing heart and a few more that I can't remember. Once again, I was naive and still didn't consider Lexapro as the issue. The next day I took my normal dose and everything returned back to normal. It's now March 2021. For some reason I decided to start questioning the efficacy of the Lexapro as I was starting to have anxious symptoms yet again. I also had a profound realization that I had become dependent on this drug to function day-to-day in order to "manage" my anxiety, and would be for the rest of my life. This is when I began my research (engineer by trade, heavily science/statistically driven), and to say I was shocked is an understatement. SSRI's are prescribed based on a theory, there is no scientific evidence that has proved SSRI's do what they are intended to do. The primary driver is anecdotal evidence, which absolutely blew my mind (once again, engineering perspective). I'm sure these drugs are helpful to some people, but oh my is this interesting. Journalist Robert Whitaker summarizes the history/efficacy of psychiatric drugs brilliantly, check him out if you haven't already. I was aware of 'potential' withdrawal symptoms through brief internet research (unfortunately did not find SA until 3 months off), was willing to tough it out for a few weeks and I quit cold turkey on March 4th 2021. As many of you have unfortunately experienced, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen during the coming months. The acute withdrawal phase hit almost immediately, parking me in bed for a few days followed by another week of dragging myself around. Over the next few weeks I had the typical symptoms: brain zaps, extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches/head pressure, chest pain, muscle aches, panic attacks, and many many more. At the end of March I began to feel fairly normal and could function enough to return to daily activities. Fast forward to June 2021 and I got absolutely slammed with withdrawal symptoms. The mental/psychological symptoms were intense and frightening as the only psychological issues I have had in the past was anxiety. These consisted of: intrusive thoughts, DP/DR, OCD, insomnia, depression, extreme anxiety (way worse than pre-lexapro), anhedonia and some more I can't remember. Physical symptoms were: DIZZINESS (this was by far my worst physical symptom), tinnitus, extreme fatigue, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, chest pain, and just about every other symptoms you've read about. I have been to almost every doctor/specialist you could think of and according to modern medicine I was the 'healthiest person' they've seen. I had started to lose faith in modern medicine and begun to look for solutions myself..... Then I found SA and everything made sense. I have been reading many of the stories here (mostly success ) and I cannot thank the people here enough for the information/hope that is provided. Anyway, here I am 7+ months after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I have been in the windows/waves pattern for the past 4 months with noticeable improvements. I was actually debating on posting a success story last week because I had been feeling so great, but unfortunately a wave hit - although minor in comparison to the beginning. This has consisted of insomnia, intrusive thoughts, minor DP/DR, light sensitivity and generally feeling out of it. So that's about it. I will continue to update this post accordingly as time goes on, and eventually will post my success story. Cheers, - Seer

I've been doing all of my research on here, reading as many stories as I can and gather information before embarking on my taper. So I thought it might be time to actually join in. I started on Lexapro in November last year, very reluctantly. I was have a lot of muscle tension that would at times make me anxious because i could get no relief from it. I've had GAD for years, but through years of psychologists I'd learnt a lot of coping mechanisms that have kept me well (enough). 20 years ago I was on Lexapro at the beginning of my GAD diagnosis and for depression. It helped me back then, but have never needed/wanted any meds since. When I started this time I started on 5mg (with the instruction to keep to that for 2 weeks then move to 10mg). I had a rough start with a huge amount of anxiety, dizziness, fatigue, terrible sleep and brain fog. I even had one horrible day that I had to get on a plane for work and got hot burning skin, got even dizzier, and fainted. In the middle seat between two strangers! Awful. The next day I tried the 10mg, thinking it might help. It didn't... surprise surprise! Panic attack, DR, burning feeling on skin, the worst day. I went back to 5mg the next day, and back to 'normal'. I've never been able to shake the bad sleep (I can fall asleep, but wake up a few times and then really early), or the brain fog. I kept on because I was told that I need to give it a couple of weeks for full effect. Then it was six weeks for full effect. I knew by then it wasn't right for me, I didn't want to be on it, and I had zero intention of increasing it. Came here, researched, learned how to make my own liquid from my 10mg tablets and picked a date. The first (and only) drop was 10% on 24 Feb this year - down to 4.5mg. I've got some odd feelings that I don't know if they are WD or the medication itself. They don't seem to follow the same kind of windows/waves patterns I've seen others mention. Mine are very 'routine' which is what I feel is odd. I start out the day fine, even do Pilates in the morning. Take my lexapro at 9.30am and by 10.30 or 11am the heavy brain fog/confusion/unable to keep a train of thought starts. Then by 1.30 the dizziness kicks in along with chills/goosebumps. The dizziness starts to lift around 6pm, but the goosebumps are pretty much non-stop until about 9pm. This pattern has been happening every day for the last two and bit weeks. The middles of everyday are almost a write-off. It's really hard to work and try to be me. I've had one day where it didn't happen, but I didn't change anything on that day. I wish I did, so I could have a reason why. I quite like a routine, so pretty good at sticking to it! Does this seem 'normal' for a 10% reduction? Should I have some of this stopping soon? I was planning to hopefully reduce again after four weeks, but I don't know if this medication is causing me more grief or if I should simply be more patient and tolerate this longer. I'd love any feedback or advice on my odd pattern of daily symptoms if anyone has made it through my super long intro (sorry about that).

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hi.My name is Adrian.I took Lexapro for 6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg, and it’s my 9th day off it.Since day 4 off I experience severe vertigo(ground tilting), severe headache, severe derealization and depersonalization, total weekness of body mostly in legs, feeling like my arms are floating, lack of concentration, confusion, flu like symptoms, anxiety, vivid dreams, hot and cold waves over body, tingling in fingers, I almost got into some panic attacks, severe anger, can’t feel my legs while walking, severe brain fog.Hope it all goes soon as i find it very hard to cope with the symptoms.

Hello everyone! Here is my introduction topic. Today marks one year I stopped antidepressants (Escitalopram). I have been completely symptom-free for 2 months as of March 2022, but the biggest improvement in symptoms came past month 6-7 into withdrawal, I would say last October (2021). I am aware that this is quite fast and that I was lucky, but nonetheless I wish to document my journey to give hope to everyone that's struggling, be it 2 weeks or 2 years in. Because despite my WD being short, I 100% honestly started to believe I would never ever feel "normal", let alone feel like myself again. My history with Escitalopram I wanna preface this by stating that Escitalopram helped me immensely with my initial issues in the first place. I have always been anxious and I will always be anxious. In August of 2017 however, I was put on Escitalopram 10mg when it spiraled out of control (I developed severe OCD and hypochondria (health anxiety)). Within 3 weeks, the medication allowed me to live a normal life again. As it was a success, in 2018 I stopped the medication (10mg to 5mg in june and then stopped completely). I had no withdrawal syndrome at all and spent a wonderful summer. I relapsed in October 2017 (it was OCD and not withdrawal, 100% sure), and was put back on Escitalopram 10mg in November 2018, following therapy along too. I therefore followed therapy and stayed on Escitalopram 10mg for another 2 years and 2 months from Nov 2018, up until January 2021 when my psychiatrist and I both agreed to try and stop antidepressants again as I felt much more stable and able to live without its help. From 10mg, the taper was: 5mg through Jan-Feb 2021, and then 5mg one day out of two through Feb-March, until I stopped mid-March 2021. Through the taper, I did not notice any symptom save from fatigue, but to this day I'm unsure if it was the taper or just the season (I suffer greatly from seasonal lack of sunlight!!). My withdrawal journey and symptoms A few days after my last Escitalopram dose, around March 18th 2021, my anxiety ramped up for no reason. On days 7-10 I got GI symptoms, and thought I had a stomach flu (still unsure if it was the start of WD or stomach flu!). Then a couple days later, I awoke brutally a few hours after falling asleep to full-body tremors that scared me a lot, I never had this before. This moment, for me, marked the start of my WD journey, for when I woke up later again in the morning, I felt a dread I never felt before. March-May of 2021 were atrocious. I believe it was the "acute" part of WD. I was feeling such a wide array of very physical and mental symptoms that I never had to deal with before, not even before medication when my mental issues were debilitating. I woke up every single day drenched in anxiety, filled with INSANE dread the whole day. I had huge crying bouts and intrusive thoughts, feelings of very very intense despair and helplessness. Anxiety would usually alleviate in the evenings but I was exhausted due to how my body was in flight or fight mode the whole day. My "windows" lasted a few hours, or half a day at max. My appetite was gone and I had nausea every single day on and off (else I would just not have any appetite) for a rough 4-6 months, which was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I'm still undoing the damage of this extreme weight loss as I type this. It is in June-July of 2021 that the physical symptoms were the hardest. I had full-body exhaustion, maybe due to the severe weight loss, I remember doing my things on auto-pilot. However, this is what helped me move forwards: even at my lowest, I was able to pull through and my body helped me move forwards despite feeling so crippled. In WD it became SO important to hold on such "reminders" and remember that I could trust myself and my body. I also developed photophobia in June-July, which lasted for 1 month and a half. It was very very weird, I had unilateral sharp eye pain upon looking at anything bright. I cannot stress enough that I never had such symptoms before ever, never had migraines etc, and it remained something isolated as I didn't have photophobia since!! In Sept-December of 2021 , I mentally felt at a much better place and much more confident in my ability to heal despite symptoms still being part of my everyday life: mostly because my appetite slowly, FINALLY came back. On a daily basis, I had to deal with headaches still, pin and needles, derealisation, tough time focusing and dizzy spells that were quite scary. I was feeling off and/or derealisation, or anxious with some intrusive thoughts. Mid-January of 2022, I realised I had no symptoms at all for a week and that my last wave was probably a few weeks ago already. Maybe a couple dizzy spells through the beginning of January, but they wore off. Another week passed. And another... and a month... and here I am now, 2 months after what I consider to be my last symptoms, and one year after my last Escitalopram dose. This forum, along with the resilience I built through the past years, allowed me to brunt the force of what is to this day the hardest thing I've gone through. I kept going on because I said to myself everyday that this will pass, that healing will happen. And it did. It was slow at first. I was counting the good days, and at one point I stopped paying daily attention to how I was feeling, rather noticing the days where I felt off: they were getting rarer. I kept track of all my symptoms in a journal, and looking back I cannot believe I experienced this whole list (I haven't listed everything here else this post would be even longer lol), it sounds absolutely mental, yet here I am, at the top of a mountain I wasn't expecting to have to climb. And what a hike it was. What helped me with some of the symptoms? To deal with nausea, I paid great attention to eat more often but in small amounts and drink a lot. My GP prescribed me proteinated fruit juice as well. I would eat "bland" foods such as unseasoned rice or pasta as it gives you energy and sustenance still. The days (or hours) where the nausea gave me a break, I tried to eat varied foods. I kept a very balanced diet, and didn't cut anything save from caffeine for 2 months (without changing from what I usually ate, as I feared this would destabilise me further). When anhedonia hit me I just let the day pass, because sometimes "existing" is enough of an effort and it's okay; and I tried to not mull over the fact that even my hobbies didn't bring me joy. I tried to focus on the absolute smallest things that felt nice: the breeze from my ajar window, the feeling of fresh water as I washed my hands, the odd birds outside in the distance... It's a great habit to take, actually, to become a bit "contemplative". A shame I had to discover this when everything else felt bad, but better late than never. A warm shower would usually help my anxiety and/or crying bouts. It is the simplest yet most efficient thing honestly now that I remember it. Restorative yoga was also helpful sometimes (I never tried yoga before WD and it is one good habit I took during my journey!) Repeating to myself that things come and go, including the hardships. Radical acceptance was a great read (I ought to find the link to the specific post again, I'll edit this later). And now... I can now drink coffee/alcohol just like before (I never abused it!). I can focus on and write my thesis, read complicated theoretical books, hold a conversation without feeling alien, hell I'm even less shy than before, I eat in great amounts and I have almost put back all the weight I lost. I just feel... profoundly normal. Back in my shoes. I think my outlook on life changed a bit. It became more optimistic, more appreciative mostly because I coped with the atrocious feelings of withdrawal by focusing on the small things (when you've got nothing else...); and/or repeating to myself what people said on this forum and what I came to learn as I progressed, which is that healing eventually happens and that good days and bad days will always alternate, even if sometimes one part overpowers the others. Eventually, it evens out, and it's worth it when you look back at what you've been through. Thanks everyone on SurvivingAntidepressants for making this possible - with your support, your advice, your journeys. We'll all get there and I hope from the bottom of my heart that all of you feel the relief that I got the chance to feel very soon. If you're struggling and reading this: you're insanely strong for having soldiered on every single difficult day in your life. I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you, and I want to promise you that better days are ahead.