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Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hello everyone! I recently found this website, and suddenly my last few weeks of experience with lexapro have begun to make a lot of sense! I am so grateful for all this community does to help people dealing with the adverse effects of antidepressants and withdrawal. Here is my story. I am hoping for any insights on how to proceed. I do have a psychiatrist, but unfortunately this is not a very well understood phenomenon in the medical community. I am also struggling with self blame and worry that I will become a person who has gotten messed up irreversibly, and I know those are cognitive distortions, but any positive vibes in those departments would still be great! Backstory I’ve been on lexapro twice in my life for several years at a time for GAD, did great, had nausea upon first starting out and some irritability on tapering but overall found it quite helpful and with minimal side effects. I never cold turkeyed - both times I weaned over months if not years under medical supervision. I was also always a good sleeper: could sleep 9+ hours easy. Fast forward to this holiday season. I’m not on lexapro, stable for 6 months. Then I start getting random heart pounding throughout the morning and trouble falling asleep—every time I would try my heart pounded. Got medical workup, all good. Over the course of a week, I tried several sleep meds, including valerian root, Trazodone up to 100 mg, Benadryl and gabapentin up to 400 mg, which helped sleep minimally and only messed me up more: caused daytime anxiety or disinhibition or over tiredness. Some nights I took both trazodone and benadryl. In the end I took a 150mg dose of Benadryl in a desperate attempt to sleep. At about that time I resumed lexapro because my doc figured it was underlying anxiety causing sleep trouble, though in retrospect I don't think I was really that anxious. Kindling? Then I had weird symptoms for 2 weeks, including ongoing insomnia (troubles staying asleep), inappropriate sexual arousal that felt like a pain in my genitals, restlessness, a sense of fight or flight including trouble breathing and a sense of urgency and discomfort in your own skin, sometimes with shortness of breath and chest tightness, oftentimes after eating which I know makes very little sense, poor appetite, lots of stools though not diarrhea, random itching including itching that woke me in the middle of the night). None of the above is my regular old GAD, by the way. My usual anxiety is more mental: turning over worst case scenarios in my head and all that. I had never had any of the above symptoms before, so I chalked it up to withdrawal from my overuse of sleep meds. My doctor, too, told me that sometimes anxiety can morph into other forms, but I was skeptical, feeling like "this is chemical." I also wondered if I was histamine intolerant and started a low histamine diet, which by the way sucks, but I doubt hurts anything because I can still eat enough of a variety of foods. Most of the above symptoms evened out over 2-3 weeks except for upset stomach and fatigue whenever I ate, and I could get unbroken sleep only every other night. So my doc and I decreased lexapro to 5 mg after about a month of being on 10mg, since we thought 5 mg would be more tolerable. Taper First week into the taper, appetite declined so I have to count calories just to make sure I get enough. I itched at times but that’s a minimal issue. There were flutters of restlessness and “monkey mind” here and here and there, and a bit of genital swelling, but overall manageable. The second week sleep got worse: before I would wake and just not be able to resume sleep, but now I would wake with ragged breathing and struggle to resume sleep and be anxious about it. Before that I would just wake up and be awake. I take valerian root for sleep in tiny doses: 1/4 of the 500mg caps per night. I don’t want to take it, but worry about going back to a time when I slept 4 hours per night if that at the beginning of this journey. (Re)-Increase So then on 2/15 doc and I figured I should try a slower taper and do 7.5mg. I did that for 2 days and on day 2 (2/16) the fight or flight returned: restless, uncomfortable in my skin, a swelling sensation in my genitals. I took an extra 2.5 mg (for a total of 10 mg) and later that day felt like my skin had a sunburn for about an hour. I went down to lexapro 5 mg for a day, then back up to 7.5 mg and have been on that dose for the past 4 days. Well, sure enough the "chemical" feeling anxiety did decline and is almost gone, the skin warmth increased and then declined (I also had cold-like symptoms but not objective fever), and inappropriate arousal has also improved (except for today, when it seems worse). I also had some looser stools and the jury is still out on whether that's getting better or worse. [TL;DR] If you got this far, thank you :). My questions are as follow: -- Does it seem like I might be dealing with kindling (or re-kindling)? I'm not sure I fully understand kindling... When it occurs, does it decline? Or do medication side effects sometimes look a lot like a kindling phenomenon? -- re: kindling: if I kindled myself as I backtracked on my lexapro taper, what now? Is it best to hold steady, or to taper? Should I wait and see? There's been a couple days of back and forth but overall I've been on lexapro 7.5 mg for less than a week. If I taper again I will ask my doc for liquid lexapro and decrease very slowly, as I have learned from this site. TIA for reading and for any insights! Keep fighting the good fight.

Hi, I found this site a couple of weeks ago and have slowly been starting to wonder if what I’ve been going through the past 18 months is related to SSRI withdrawal. I managed to successfully withdraw from Lexapro at the end of 2010, after over 13 years of AD use. I had various fluctuating symptoms for a couple of months, but then apart from constant ringing in my ears and a return of occasional anxiety, I seemed to be ok. I was studying to be a chi-ball instructor, was exercising regularly, was eating healthy and was generally quite happy. After getting off Lexapro, I had been diagnosed with adult ADD and been put on medication for that. It worked well for a couple of weeks and seemed to completely cure what remained of my anxiety, but then I started to get extreme restlessness, OCD like symptoms, irritability and an increase in my sensitivity, to sounds and lights. I assumed it was a bad reaction to the stimulant medication. My life has been a confusing nightmare since the end of 2010 really, but until I found this site a couple of weeks ago, it really didn’t occur to me that my ongoing problems were being caused by a medication I stopped taking over 2 years ago. I’ve had a lot of stress in my life starting from an early age and have always been sensitive and anxious. There has been some violent crime and sexual abuse, but I seemed to be ok until I got myself into a psychologically abusive marriage. That’s when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started on Zoloft. For a couple of years it took the edge off my anxiety, but I never thought I had depression, but the Zoloft just made me feel generally numb, so I endured my marriage, for several more years until it became unbearable, tried to communicate with my ex-husband so that things would improve, but he wasn’t interested in change, he was already in his next relationship and had been for a while, I didn’t know that at the time though. Then I went through about 4 years of extremely frightening separation/divorce and ongoing court proceedings. . There were other extremely stressful things I’ve had to deal with over the last 10 years, but I’m not going to go into details. I have been thinking that what I’m going through is a combination of long term stress, anxiety/depression, a ‘dark night of the soul’, menopause and/or some kind of spiritual transformation like kundalini, because I have engaged in various spiritual practises through my life. At times its felt like my CNS is completely burned out or that I have some kind of serious hormonal imbalance, but I gave up trusting the medical profession, including psychologists after years of not being able to get any help from any of them and only ending up feeling worse and that its all my fault for not trying hard enough. I’ve had lots therapy, counselling and done various support groups over the last 15 years, nothing has been any significant help. I went back to college to study psychology and started a business, but that all fell apart when the marital abuse became worse and the divorce proceedings began. Since finding this site, I’ve stopped taking all psychotropic medication, realizing that anything which effects my brain is having an exaggerated negative effect on my recovery. For a long time I’ve noticed that even small amounts of caffeine, half a glass of wine or even an anti-histamine will have a very bad effect on me, but I was thinking it was my imagination. I can’t even eat chocolate any more without suffering the next day. I’m exhausted all the time, but it’s a weird kind of fatigue, its like a combination mental/emotional tiredness, not like anything I’ve ever felt before. I spend most of my time at home, on the internet on my bed, just doing the things I need to do to take care of myself and my teenage daughter. Its very difficult just getting out to buy a few groceries, but when I do go out, I function perfectly in a kind of dissociated way, like I’m not even in my own body, I’m watching myself like from a distance, wondering who it is that’s behaving so ‘normally’ when I’m feeling so awful. Waves of negative emotions seem to get triggered by almost everything around me and almost every thought, I try not to think about things or do much of anything so I can avoid the emotional pain that thoughts or experiences bring, its like a kind of forced meditation. This symptom was at its worst from November 2011 – August 2012, but its not as bad now, seems to be settling down, I think its improved by about 50%. Please would someone take a look at the details in my signature and give me an opinion if protracted anti-depressant withdrawal might be a factor in my current health problems which include: Waking at 5am with racing thoughts Feeling like I haven’t slept at all Nausea, shaking, dizziness, body pressure, muscle twitches Waves of negative emotion Hot/cold flashes, sweating Constant ringing in my ears Sensitive to sound, light and smells Can’t watch TV or listen to the radio because its too stimulating Most things are too stimulating now, including being around other people too long Loss of appetite and loss of weight Hair falling out Agoraphobia, mostly during the day, I’m able to go out easier late afternoon towards evening Memory problems and mental confusion Loss of confidence. Loss of interest in doing anything or going anywhere Can’t get any pleasure out of things any more Loss of hope I needed to put more detail in my signature, but that’s all that would fit. From about 2006 – 2008 I was also taking duramine (a prescription stimulant weight loss med) to try and lose all the weight I’d put on from being on SSRI meds. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to try and provide a clear picture of my situation. Thank you Petu

Hello, My situation began when I developed an eating disorder after gaining a lot of weight in High School. I didn't have much support from my relatives growing up and was emotionally neglected. I was taught to just deal with "It", no matter what the "It" was, without guidance. Due to that mentality, I was able to hide my disorder for a long time, no one noticed or cared. I didn't consider myself depressed when I lost all the weight, and it became my self-esteem. When I was in my early 20's, I got married and moved away, I couldn't hide it anymore, and decided to get help. I went to a local psychiatrist, and he immediately prescribed Prozac to "help me" stop and suggested a counselor. At first the Prozac helped, I'd get upset and literally two mins later, I couldn't remember why. I saw my counselor, but it was just rehashing the past or current problems, no advice on how to work it out, accept and heal. After gaining 15 pounds, I resumed my disorder. I didn't realize at the time, that nothing was working. My family moved to another state, I was still on Prozac and only had a general physician (GP). As the years went on, medicines were changed, and my disorder continued. After 9 years on meds, I stopped the eating disorder. Then, while working a job that was very stressful (cold marketing), I was referred to a psychiatrist, who also prescribed Xanax prn for anxiety and finally Seroquel for insomnia. My psych kept upping my dose of Seroquel because the insomnia would come back (tolerance). I had side effects with the medications I was on long term (Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, and Seroquel), but because I was on some of them at different times, I didn't realize it. I had restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, irregular heartbeat, high eye pressure, clenching/grinding my teeth, binge drinking, anxiety, mood swings, aggression, insomnia and chronic pain - none of which I had before taking the meds. Each time I saw my GP, I was told that it was a new malady - an autoimmune disorder, neuropathy disorders, fibromyalgia, extreme stress, etc... So, I was given other drugs on top of the antidepressants. I was not advised, about weight gain on Lexapro (not good for a history of an eating disorder), so when I gained 30 pounds from it, I relapsed my disorder 14 years after I'd quit - no weight came off, so I stopped the disorder again 6 months later, for good. A couple years later, I wanted to come off of the antidepressants, I asked my psych for a trial run of quitting, I was told "No, you could relapse and make things worse". I reluctantly stayed on them. Three years after that, my psychiatrist was fired/let go (or so I was told) and moved out of the area. There was no warning, and I was almost out of meds, I only found out because I called for my next refill appt, and my psych had already been gone for a month! I was lucky enough to have his office give me a month's worth of my meds until I could find another psych (which I have not done). Suddenly, I was terrified it could happen again, so I decided to go off them. A few years before, I switched to a new general physician. I was on 40mg Lexapro and 800mg Seroquel. I knew if I went cold turkey, it could be bad, so I began my taper. The Lexapro, I tapered 30 pills took me about 2 months, concurrently with the Seroquel, which I tapered at the same time, 60 pills, took me almost 8 months. I have been off all meds for 3 months now. The withdrawal from the Lexapro wasn't bad, just the brain zaps, but that could be because the Seroquel was still in my system - I was lucky. During the first 3 months of the Seroquel taper, I felt ok, some rumination, self-doubt, and insomnia. I even had a period of feeling great (I know now I was hypomanic), I'd stabilize and then go down more. Once I reached 12mg, about 3 1/2 months in, the withdrawal symptoms started and progressively built on each other until I stopped my taper. I started having anxiety, anhedonia, irritation, dread, tooth and jaw pain, anger, memory gaps/loss, confusion. At 6mgs I had a severe panic attack 8-hours long, felt like I was going to die, my husband helped me calm down. I saw my new GP, told her what I'd done and got immediate support. She gave me a prescription for 5 pills of Klonopin .5mg. (I haven't had to use any). I was having adrenaline surges, I couldn't watch thrillers/scary movies or the news, or drive my car, or go anywhere by myself. I stayed at 6mg for a month to stabilize. At 3mgs I was still having adrenaline surges, then heart palpitations, acne and vesicles on my upper body. My emotions were everywhere, crying, anger, anhedonia, catastrophizing, and rumination. I stayed at 3mg for a month then, when I calmed a bit, finally stopped altogether. I've been educated quite a bit since finding this site a month ago, it's been a Godsend. I'm always looking up symptoms and reading other's experiences, and this has helped me more than anything. Looking back, I should have tapered slower (I didn't know), and I try not to worry or be scared about the consequences of not doing that. I know everyone's experience is different and I'm hopeful, but on guard. Being three months out, although some of the symptoms have calmed down greatly, I'm still experiencing them, some acute and a few new weird ones. Waves and windows happen from time to time and I'm in a window right now. Good things... Most of the side effects that I had while on the drugs - restless legs, neuropathy, muscle and joint pain, binge drinking, and chronic pain, are gone so far, they disappeared during the taper. I also lost all of the weight I gained on the Lexapro once I stopped it, without even trying. Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has shared their experiences, for your knowledge and for a place to tell my story.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. Back in September 2020 I was driven to the ER for what I now know was a panic attack (heart racing, blurry vision, dizziness, etc.). I saw a neurologist at the ER, whom I followed up with shortly after in October 2020. The neurologist took one look at me, told me I was anxious, and sent me out the door with a prescription for 10mg Lexapro (which is unfortunately far too common). I started taking this on 10/20/2021. The first week on this seemed to amplify all anxious symptoms, but then surprisingly made me feel great (calmer, more energized, optimistic, etc.). I didn't ask questions as I was fairly naive at the time and trusted the neurologist's decision. A few months in I started experiencing days of extreme fatigue, and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision. I managed to ignore these and attributed them to migraines. Fast forward to February 2021. The days of fatigue and random bouts of dizziness/blurred vision are still happening, yet more frequently. I also noticed a general sense of feeling numb, as if things did not matter as much. I remember one day I forgot to take my dose (for the first time) and I made it until about noon at work. Symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, head pressure, racing heart and a few more that I can't remember. Once again, I was naive and still didn't consider Lexapro as the issue. The next day I took my normal dose and everything returned back to normal. It's now March 2021. For some reason I decided to start questioning the efficacy of the Lexapro as I was starting to have anxious symptoms yet again. I also had a profound realization that I had become dependent on this drug to function day-to-day in order to "manage" my anxiety, and would be for the rest of my life. This is when I began my research (engineer by trade, heavily science/statistically driven), and to say I was shocked is an understatement. SSRI's are prescribed based on a theory, there is no scientific evidence that has proved SSRI's do what they are intended to do. The primary driver is anecdotal evidence, which absolutely blew my mind (once again, engineering perspective). I'm sure these drugs are helpful to some people, but oh my is this interesting. Journalist Robert Whitaker summarizes the history/efficacy of psychiatric drugs brilliantly, check him out if you haven't already. I was aware of 'potential' withdrawal symptoms through brief internet research (unfortunately did not find SA until 3 months off), was willing to tough it out for a few weeks and I quit cold turkey on March 4th 2021. As many of you have unfortunately experienced, nothing could have prepared me for what would happen during the coming months. The acute withdrawal phase hit almost immediately, parking me in bed for a few days followed by another week of dragging myself around. Over the next few weeks I had the typical symptoms: brain zaps, extreme fatigue, dizziness, headaches/head pressure, chest pain, muscle aches, panic attacks, and many many more. At the end of March I began to feel fairly normal and could function enough to return to daily activities. Fast forward to June 2021 and I got absolutely slammed with withdrawal symptoms. The mental/psychological symptoms were intense and frightening as the only psychological issues I have had in the past was anxiety. These consisted of: intrusive thoughts, DP/DR, OCD, insomnia, depression, extreme anxiety (way worse than pre-lexapro), anhedonia and some more I can't remember. Physical symptoms were: DIZZINESS (this was by far my worst physical symptom), tinnitus, extreme fatigue, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, chest pain, and just about every other symptoms you've read about. I have been to almost every doctor/specialist you could think of and according to modern medicine I was the 'healthiest person' they've seen. I had started to lose faith in modern medicine and begun to look for solutions myself..... Then I found SA and everything made sense. I have been reading many of the stories here (mostly success ) and I cannot thank the people here enough for the information/hope that is provided. Anyway, here I am 7+ months after quitting Lexapro cold turkey. I have been in the windows/waves pattern for the past 4 months with noticeable improvements. I was actually debating on posting a success story last week because I had been feeling so great, but unfortunately a wave hit - although minor in comparison to the beginning. This has consisted of insomnia, intrusive thoughts, minor DP/DR, light sensitivity and generally feeling out of it. So that's about it. I will continue to update this post accordingly as time goes on, and eventually will post my success story. Cheers, - Seer

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hi.My name is Adrian.I took Lexapro for 6 weeks of 10mg, 2 weeks of 5mg, and it’s my 9th day off it.Since day 4 off I experience severe vertigo(ground tilting), severe headache, severe derealization and depersonalization, total weekness of body mostly in legs, feeling like my arms are floating, lack of concentration, confusion, flu like symptoms, anxiety, vivid dreams, hot and cold waves over body, tingling in fingers, I almost got into some panic attacks, severe anger, can’t feel my legs while walking, severe brain fog.Hope it all goes soon as i find it very hard to cope with the symptoms.

Hello everyone! Here is my introduction topic. Today marks one year I stopped antidepressants (Escitalopram). I have been completely symptom-free for 2 months as of March 2022, but the biggest improvement in symptoms came past month 6-7 into withdrawal, I would say last October (2021). I am aware that this is quite fast and that I was lucky, but nonetheless I wish to document my journey to give hope to everyone that's struggling, be it 2 weeks or 2 years in. Because despite my WD being short, I 100% honestly started to believe I would never ever feel "normal", let alone feel like myself again. My history with Escitalopram I wanna preface this by stating that Escitalopram helped me immensely with my initial issues in the first place. I have always been anxious and I will always be anxious. In August of 2017 however, I was put on Escitalopram 10mg when it spiraled out of control (I developed severe OCD and hypochondria (health anxiety)). Within 3 weeks, the medication allowed me to live a normal life again. As it was a success, in 2018 I stopped the medication (10mg to 5mg in june and then stopped completely). I had no withdrawal syndrome at all and spent a wonderful summer. I relapsed in October 2017 (it was OCD and not withdrawal, 100% sure), and was put back on Escitalopram 10mg in November 2018, following therapy along too. I therefore followed therapy and stayed on Escitalopram 10mg for another 2 years and 2 months from Nov 2018, up until January 2021 when my psychiatrist and I both agreed to try and stop antidepressants again as I felt much more stable and able to live without its help. From 10mg, the taper was: 5mg through Jan-Feb 2021, and then 5mg one day out of two through Feb-March, until I stopped mid-March 2021. Through the taper, I did not notice any symptom save from fatigue, but to this day I'm unsure if it was the taper or just the season (I suffer greatly from seasonal lack of sunlight!!). My withdrawal journey and symptoms A few days after my last Escitalopram dose, around March 18th 2021, my anxiety ramped up for no reason. On days 7-10 I got GI symptoms, and thought I had a stomach flu (still unsure if it was the start of WD or stomach flu!). Then a couple days later, I awoke brutally a few hours after falling asleep to full-body tremors that scared me a lot, I never had this before. This moment, for me, marked the start of my WD journey, for when I woke up later again in the morning, I felt a dread I never felt before. March-May of 2021 were atrocious. I believe it was the "acute" part of WD. I was feeling such a wide array of very physical and mental symptoms that I never had to deal with before, not even before medication when my mental issues were debilitating. I woke up every single day drenched in anxiety, filled with INSANE dread the whole day. I had huge crying bouts and intrusive thoughts, feelings of very very intense despair and helplessness. Anxiety would usually alleviate in the evenings but I was exhausted due to how my body was in flight or fight mode the whole day. My "windows" lasted a few hours, or half a day at max. My appetite was gone and I had nausea every single day on and off (else I would just not have any appetite) for a rough 4-6 months, which was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I'm still undoing the damage of this extreme weight loss as I type this. It is in June-July of 2021 that the physical symptoms were the hardest. I had full-body exhaustion, maybe due to the severe weight loss, I remember doing my things on auto-pilot. However, this is what helped me move forwards: even at my lowest, I was able to pull through and my body helped me move forwards despite feeling so crippled. In WD it became SO important to hold on such "reminders" and remember that I could trust myself and my body. I also developed photophobia in June-July, which lasted for 1 month and a half. It was very very weird, I had unilateral sharp eye pain upon looking at anything bright. I cannot stress enough that I never had such symptoms before ever, never had migraines etc, and it remained something isolated as I didn't have photophobia since!! In Sept-December of 2021 , I mentally felt at a much better place and much more confident in my ability to heal despite symptoms still being part of my everyday life: mostly because my appetite slowly, FINALLY came back. On a daily basis, I had to deal with headaches still, pin and needles, derealisation, tough time focusing and dizzy spells that were quite scary. I was feeling off and/or derealisation, or anxious with some intrusive thoughts. Mid-January of 2022, I realised I had no symptoms at all for a week and that my last wave was probably a few weeks ago already. Maybe a couple dizzy spells through the beginning of January, but they wore off. Another week passed. And another... and a month... and here I am now, 2 months after what I consider to be my last symptoms, and one year after my last Escitalopram dose. This forum, along with the resilience I built through the past years, allowed me to brunt the force of what is to this day the hardest thing I've gone through. I kept going on because I said to myself everyday that this will pass, that healing will happen. And it did. It was slow at first. I was counting the good days, and at one point I stopped paying daily attention to how I was feeling, rather noticing the days where I felt off: they were getting rarer. I kept track of all my symptoms in a journal, and looking back I cannot believe I experienced this whole list (I haven't listed everything here else this post would be even longer lol), it sounds absolutely mental, yet here I am, at the top of a mountain I wasn't expecting to have to climb. And what a hike it was. What helped me with some of the symptoms? To deal with nausea, I paid great attention to eat more often but in small amounts and drink a lot. My GP prescribed me proteinated fruit juice as well. I would eat "bland" foods such as unseasoned rice or pasta as it gives you energy and sustenance still. The days (or hours) where the nausea gave me a break, I tried to eat varied foods. I kept a very balanced diet, and didn't cut anything save from caffeine for 2 months (without changing from what I usually ate, as I feared this would destabilise me further). When anhedonia hit me I just let the day pass, because sometimes "existing" is enough of an effort and it's okay; and I tried to not mull over the fact that even my hobbies didn't bring me joy. I tried to focus on the absolute smallest things that felt nice: the breeze from my ajar window, the feeling of fresh water as I washed my hands, the odd birds outside in the distance... It's a great habit to take, actually, to become a bit "contemplative". A shame I had to discover this when everything else felt bad, but better late than never. A warm shower would usually help my anxiety and/or crying bouts. It is the simplest yet most efficient thing honestly now that I remember it. Restorative yoga was also helpful sometimes (I never tried yoga before WD and it is one good habit I took during my journey!) Repeating to myself that things come and go, including the hardships. Radical acceptance was a great read (I ought to find the link to the specific post again, I'll edit this later). And now... I can now drink coffee/alcohol just like before (I never abused it!). I can focus on and write my thesis, read complicated theoretical books, hold a conversation without feeling alien, hell I'm even less shy than before, I eat in great amounts and I have almost put back all the weight I lost. I just feel... profoundly normal. Back in my shoes. I think my outlook on life changed a bit. It became more optimistic, more appreciative mostly because I coped with the atrocious feelings of withdrawal by focusing on the small things (when you've got nothing else...); and/or repeating to myself what people said on this forum and what I came to learn as I progressed, which is that healing eventually happens and that good days and bad days will always alternate, even if sometimes one part overpowers the others. Eventually, it evens out, and it's worth it when you look back at what you've been through. Thanks everyone on SurvivingAntidepressants for making this possible - with your support, your advice, your journeys. We'll all get there and I hope from the bottom of my heart that all of you feel the relief that I got the chance to feel very soon. If you're struggling and reading this: you're insanely strong for having soldiered on every single difficult day in your life. I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you, and I want to promise you that better days are ahead.

Hi, all. I’m new here and thought I would do an introduction. Im a 42f mom of 3. I’m fortunate to have found this forum thanks to the Lexapro support group on FB and mentions in subreddits before I started my taper. in December of 2023 I was going through a time of heightened stress and anxiety that sent me into panic attacks, agoraphobia, and extreme anxiety and depression. I’ve always had moderate anxiety but this was on another level. I went to my primary doctor out of desperation and she immediately suggested Lexapro, and she stressed that it has hardly any side effects, easy to come off of etc. I wish I had educated myself better but I was desperate at the time. I went on 5mg. It maybe helped slightly, but not much. In January she upped my dose to 10mg. I was still having extreme anxiety and panic frequently, but things were slightly better maybe. I started researching more and decided I don’t want to be on these meds anymore. I have been on it for a total of 11 weeks, 6 weeks on 10mg. I want to start tapering slowly asap but I am nervous. I still don’t feel like I’m stable, I still have heightened anxiety although not as bad as the beginning. I am absolutely EXHAUSTED, to the point where i can barely function. I don’t know if these meds even “work” for me and if I’ll ever stabilize on them enough to start my taper. I was planning on maybe waiting until I’ve been on 10mg for 8-12 weeks to see if I’m more stable at that point. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I am also in therapy, take supplements (fish oil, vitamin d, b12, multivitamin, l theanine, and magnesium), I exercise daily, eat healthy, no caffeine, meditation daily, and go to acupuncture monthly. Happy to have found this site, it’s an amazing resource.

I was prescribed Lexapro 10 years ago following the death of my daughter. I was started on 10 mg, eventually increased to 20mg due to anxiety issues. 3 months ago I decided that I wanted to stop taking this medication. I felt blunted most of the time, and wanted to see how I would do off of it. This was discussed with my family practitioner. We halved the dosage for a month and then halved it again for another month. At that point I was down to 5mg daily and doing ok. I then went to 5mg every other day x 2 weeks, and then stopped. I have been experiencing brain zaps and parasthesia daily. Its extremely uncomfortable and has made me withdraw from social activities. I force myself through the work day, then come home and get into bed. Last week I spoke to a Psychiatric NP and asked about Prozac as an adjunct to help with these symptoms. This is day 4 on Prozac 10mg which has helped maybe 20% with the head zaps. I'd appreciate input. This is miserable.

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

Diagnosed with panic and adjustment disorder 1987. Experienced 3 situational depressions (1 was postpartum). SSRI for 30 yrs. Just RI Lexapro to 5 mg after a failed 4 day discontinuation from 2.5 mg. Seems to be helping in waves and windows. Dr appointment next month but he has told me that if I stop Lexapro, protracted w/d possible with treatment resistant depression surfacing. Advises that I should consider staying on for life. I am afraid of both staying on and discontinuing. I've read about severe, untreatable akathisia, protracted w/d and all other horror stories. I am worried that one or two months out from discontinuing, symptoms will return that can't be treated. 1. Will a gradual slow microtaper from 5 mg. (after stabilization) prevent a protracted w/d? 2. What if I experience another situational depression, how to treat it then? 3. What are risks of staying on a low dose SSRI 2.5 or under? 4. Is that better than risking protracted and untreatable w/d? Last situational depression 8 yrs ago, Dr switched SSRIs and now I realize what I went through was was w/d on top of the depression. Had to rely on Lorazepam for 3 months and did a gradual successful taper off. I believe I was very fortunate given the horrific Benzo stories.I cannot fathom relying on Benzos again and would rather stay on Lexapro low dose than risk benzo dependence. I would appreciate thoughts on the above. Thank you!

I’m a 63 year old woman and my first antidepressant use was in 1997. I saw antidepressants as mood cosmetics: an adjustment to my anxious, sometimes irritable and depressive personality that would help me get ahead and live more boldly. I didn’t stay on for long and I quit cold turkey. I broke up with my boyfriend and fell into a deep depression, which I attributed to the breakup. 2003, I found myself in a challenging job as I started having premenopausal irritability. My gynecologist put me back on Prozac, but at some point (2006?), my gp switched me to lexapro. I stayed on it until 2015. (I had post nasal drip with fluoxetine, which led (I think) to numerous sinus infections; that’s why I asked to switch) 2015, I realized I’d missed many doses and I felt fine, so I just stopped, but started having zaps, emotional lability, anxiety etc. I kept wanting to get through it, thinking the symptoms would abate sooner or later. After many months like this, I complained to my gp about hot flashes—not recognizing them as a withdrawal symptom. When she suggested lexapro as an off-label solution to that problem, it felt like a message from god and I resumed lexapro. 2021, I honestly felt there’d be no easier time in my life to taper. Never mind the pandemic, I thought my life was great, which presently seems blunted and delusional. 11/30, I started reducing my doses, and proceeded carefully for 254 days, listening to my body and making reductions after zaps stopped and I felt stable at the lower dose. My last dose in 8/2022. Tardive withdrawal symptoms started in September or October. They seem episodic but mostly, they’re present; I’ve had just a few multi-day breaks from symptoms. Writing this in mid-February 2023 and wondering if I’ll ever feel better. Dealing with loneliness, aging/dying parents and money issues are added, unavoidable stressors. of the four doctors who’ve prescribed ssris for me, one was a gynecologist. The others were GPs! Very grateful to friends who are willing to listen. what helps: —I used to take my Ssri with a fistful of supplements and I found it easy to lose the habit of taking supplements when I stopped the drugs. Now I’m careful to take supplements and they seem to help, but I’m not qualified to advise. (Everything I take: Fish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3) —I take valerian to help with sleep. I like solaray because it has standardized active ingredient. Topical melatonin, also for sleep; sometimes kava tea for daytime calm —seldom drinking any alcohol —switching from black tea to green and limiting it to two cups in the morning —seldom watching any news at present —asking myself “what is the best way to take care of myself right now?”—especially when I’m symptomatic —I pick up a lot of good tips from YouTube channel “therapy in a nutshell”… not specific to drug discontinuation but useful techniques for staying calm I’m here to learn as well as to support and I welcome comments to improve my approach to recovery may we all be well, Mary

#1 Help. I was on lexapro 8 years. Tapered off lexapro onto Effexor in sept 2021. Couldn’t handle it. Stopped taking after 5 days. Started Zoloft. Lasted 30 days. Side effects were bad. Tapered off to pristiq. Lasted 10 days and my psychiatrist said to just stop. I was trying to give my body a break so I could start a new med. 8 days later I went back to lexapro. Took it tonight. I’ve been having slight confusion lately, mental fog, poor concentration and not in touch with reality. I’ve always had panic attacks but what I experienced was not. My brain started to get warm and I almost wanted to pass out following extreme confusion with my heart/pulse racing incredibly fast. It’s like my brain was shutting down. I was so scared thinking i was having a brain aneurysm, stroke or seizure. I called 911. Went to hospital where I got a ct scan of my head. They ruled out a tumor, stroke or seizure: they didn’t check my blood sugar or run blood work. This happened at 10pm tonight. Got back home almost 2AM and went to bed extremely scared. I woke up an hour later in state of confusion to this happening again. The docs say it’s from the meds. I’m so scared I can’t sleep bc I don’t want it to happen again. I feel like it’s more than this and I’m actually going to die from whatever this is. It’s like my brain is broke. I was perfectly fine a few months ago. Idk why the docs couldn’t find an answer to what I was experiencing. I’m so scared this is something else. I’m 34, male, good health.. active

Hi friends... When SSRI's came into my life, they saved me. Through most of my life (teens and twenties) I had successfully lived with my mental health struggles using tools such as exercise, time outdoors, and an ever changing and stimulating lifestyle as one has during this time of their life. When I moved in my early 30s, completely upending my life as I had never lived anywhere else, I was no longer able to deal with the depths my depression took me to. After failing to find relief from Wellbutrin, I reluctantly decided to try Lexapro. It truly saved me when I was at my lowest point until then. I knew about some of the side effects, weight gain, lower libido, which is why I hesitated. But, as I was no longer functioning, something needed to change. And, it did. What I did not know, was how horrific it was going to be to try to get back off of this drug. I understand myself better now, and I've created an environment in my life that should help me to thrive. But then there is this drug. It is like a veil. More subtle than the depression was, but still something that keeps me from living fully. It keeps me from feeling fully. In 2019, I was ready to come off of the drug. With a new psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed SSRI to me), I expressed that I was ready to come off of Lexapro. She told me to cut the dose in half for a few weeks, then in half again, then for a few more weeks, then I would be off the medication. After 5 days at half dose, I was having flu-like symptoms, crying whenever I moved more intensely than a walk, not sleeping....it was too much. I told my doctor and she said to go back to the full dose and we could try again slower at a later time. Then, she retired, and I moved to help my Mom go through cancer treatment. Not a good time to remove your antidepressant. In April 2023, my Mom went into remission, I had the best job, I lived in a place that was good for my soul, and I had so much support around me that I was ready to try again. I did not have a new doctor by now to support me, but I had learned the first time that I needed to slow the tapering process down. I thought I could do it. I reduced my dose by only 25% for 2 weeks, then again to half dose for 1 day. After not sleeping for 4 consecutive nights in a row in addition to the previous WD symptoms I had the first time, I went back to full dose. I was angry and sad. I felt like I had no control and my inability to come off the drug made me want to come off it even more. Why don't doctors tell you about this before they put you on it???? Yes, I've gained weight, my sex life has suffered, but not being able to stop taking this little pill is appalling. I didn't sign up to be dependent on a life-numbing drug for my entire lifetime!@@ My Mom did pass away this last year. The last thing I've needed since April is to take away this crutch when my heart has been more broken than it ever has before. But I am healing, and I think part of that healing process is to take back full ownership and control over my mind and body by getting off Lexapro. I have a two new doctors who are going to support me through this, and I have this site!!! I am so incredibly thankful for the resources and stories about people's journeys going through the same process I will. Thank you all SO MUCH for this site. My new doctors have prescribed me some additional psychoactive drugs to support this process: Lamotrigine and Bupropion. I am taking these to help alleviate WD symptoms from tapering off Lexapro, but I am very anxious about becoming dependent on these as well. My goal is to come off all psychoactive drugs to see where I am in navigating my mental health without chemical support. We will see...

Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?

Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Hi everyone, I'm Stanislav, 24 years old and I've been suffering from constant depersonalization/derealization for almost 7 years, triggered by a weed induced panic attack. My symptoms include feeling unreal, confused in the world, racing thoughts, excessive symptom monitoring, memories don't seem like my own, loss of sense of self, apathy, anhedonia, lights are bright and "tunnel vision" (a kind of visual processing problem where I don't seem to percieve all of my FOV at once). Two years later I was curious about medication since my symptoms haven't improved despite cbt therapy and time passing. In January 2020, I went to a psychiatrist, briefly described my situation and he instantly prescribed me Lexapro 10mg, which was supposedly really safe and unproblematic. I started taking it and felt changes in the next months. I cared much less about the intrusive thoughts but also had more anhedonia, was even less prone to laughing, was always feeling a bit tired and it was more difficult to reach orgasm but for me that was fine, since I had issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway, shortly after I met my boyfriend (the light of my life) and I continued the use of Lexapro for 2 years. Often times only taking half a dose, in hindsight it was irresponsible to be doing this. My dpdr symptoms have not improved but they were easier to live with and ignore. I want to emphasize that I didn't have a close connection to my psychiatrist and basically only went there for a new receipt where he asked if everything was fine and I said yes. Having no idea that tapering after prolonged AD use is supposed to be really slow, even though 5mg is the minimal tablet dosage, I quit cold turkey in 2022 for a month from 5mg because it wasn't helping with dpdr, not thinking much of it. I began experiencing great anxiety and depression and wanted to try wellbutrin, which helped for some people. So I was on wellbutrin for 2 weeks and had to quit it because it made me extremely tired and not much else. I then restarted Lexapro 5mg and later went up to 10mg for another 1 1/2 years. It was similar to the first time I took it. Then in January 2023 I decided to get off the drug and really work on my anxiety to recover from dpdr, which had been ruining my inner life. (Outwardly I was doing fine, got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics, while being dissociated 24/7, working on my master's degree right now) Without talking to my psychiatrist, whom I didn't trust that much anyway and he was changing offices too, I quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey about a year ago. I really did not think much of it. I was really convinced the drug was relatively harmless. Stupid of me, I now know better. My withdrawals started after a week and I suffer them until today, a year later. They're not as bad as some people here have them but they are still debilitating and include: Waking up with and suffering from strong anxiety and incessant racing thoughts and uncontrollable worries, depressed mood, heart beating fast, not being able to breathe in deeply, I also have anhedonia which I had before but now it's worse and I miss laughing. At first I was telling myself it was relapsing or that my dpdr was improving because I was feeling more anxiety, so my emotions were less dampened but just last week the realization hit me that I was not just suffering from dpdr but also from having been on Lexapro. At this point I wish I never took it. The last few days have been especially bad with me not being able to calm myself down and feeling like a hopeless case. The withdrawal symptoms have not improved at all yet. I've been going to the gym for 2 months and I will continue to do so. One thing that sometimes helps is a diaphragmatic breathing meditation, Doing this I can feel the anxiety subside sometimes. I am struggling at work and university but I hope that I will improve in the next year. Do you guys think there is hope for me? I know I ***** up but after a year, I don't want to start taking the drug again to taper it more slowly. I was thinking about doing rTMS for depression and anxiety and I am also in therapy for the last half year. Would appreciate any kind words and thoughts. Cheers

I have been on 20 mg of Lexapro for about 20 years for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have had breakthrough anxiety several times during the period and recently it seems to have quit working. My doctor did a genetic test which showed that I was not a good match for Lexapro do to being an ultra rapid metabolizer of the drug. Two weeks ago he did a direct switch from the 20 mg of Lexapro to 40 mg of Prozac. Since the switch I have been getting progressively worst having extreme anxiety, feeling sick, and having trouble with concentration. Really unsure of what to do as the symptoms are pretty severe. Any suggestions on what to do to help with the symptoms, should I reinstate the Lexapro or continue going forward with Prozac. Thanks in advance

Hello all, I am a 26 year old male living in the midwest of the United States. I had my first bout of depression when I was about 14. It’s been pretty up and down since then. I had been struggling for a while to adjust to the stresses of college and I kept getting beat down with anxiety and depression so I finally reached out for help to my GP. I was prescribed 50mg of Zoloft in October of 2017. I started with half a dose and it really did seem to lift my spirits and give me confidence I really noticed when talking to other people. Anxiety and shy/insecure feeling when talking to others is something I have always felt, and this was exciting to see a change in. I went up to 50mg after a couple weeks and after a couple more weeks there decided to go back down to 25mg as it started to make me apathetic. I also lost libido and interest in the opposite sex which was a scary feeling to me as a young college student. The Zoloft began to make me extremely lethargic and fatigued to the point where I could barely get out of bed, and I felt like my body was just heavy and weak. This annoyed me for a couple weeks then I went cold turkey off of it in January 2018. I was on it for a total of about 4 months. I experienced acute withdrawal for around 2 weeks and had brain zaps along with extreme irritability, but it passed and I was fine withdrawal wise. I still suffered from anxiety and depression, however, and in October 2019 I tried again to take Zoloft 25mg but quit again after about two weeks as it just made me too fatigued. In July of 2020 I was really depressed and went back to the dr. This is when I was prescribed Lexapro 10mg. The Lexapro really helped me, and my overall contentment was up, anxiety/depression were down, and I was doing pretty well. This lasted for around 7 months (till January 2021), where I realized that I was once again apathetic and more tired than usual but not bed ridden. The sexual side affects were strong as well, and having a girlfriend at the time, this bothered me a lot. I was apathetic enough around this time to stop caring about her as much and although there were other problems with our relationship I attribute the meds to a large part of the reason I broke up with her. I went down to 7.5 mg and gained some libido and energy. I was doing pretty well for the next few months although the breakup was hard. In October 2021 I went down to 5mg and stayed there until about December of 2022. I had been extremely fatigued once again and blamed the Lexapro, so I started to taper but very quickly - I went down to zero in around a month (January 2023). I started to experience panic attacks and feeling like I was going to pass out. I felt completely out of control of my own body and it was terrifying. I tried Buspar for about 2 weeks to help with this but gave that up as well. I went back up to 5mg Lexapro until April and tapered down to Zero over the next two months. June 6, 2023 was the date I fully got off Lexapro. I have been suffering since. My main side effects are extreme anxiety and depression, feelings of utter hopelessness, feelings of intense fear, shakiness, cold intolerance, panic attacks, and muscle aches in my arms, chest, neck, and legs (feels kind of like growing pains). I do experience the windows and waves, although the windows are not “normal” feeling, just patches where I am doing better rather than worse.

Hello- as my topic title shows, I have been on anti-depressants for 24 years (20mgs Lexepro, 175 mgs Wellbutrin). It is hard to face. After the birth of my first son, I began having acute anxiety. When I told my gynecologist he told me it was common after giving birth because of hormonal changes. In such cases, he recommends about six months of medication to help with the symptoms and recommended a psychiatrist that he works with for patients such as me. I'm sure none of you are surprised to know that, as is all too common, I never got off the drugs for very long. Each time withdrawel symptoms were interpreted as my illness returning. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression all her sad life, so it wasn't hard to believe that I was ill. Yet, I still tried a few times to stop the drugs. Interestingly, once it became clear how difficult it was to get off the drugs, I knew with certainty that I needed to stop taking them. I Thought I would put if off until I was retired, so I would have less stress, etc. to deal with the WD, but when I learned about the10% taper it gave me hope that I can be AD free by my 60th birthday! I will start with the Lexepro. Getting myself a scale and using a spreadsheet to calculate the decreases. I'm getting my yoga and walking on, and continuing meditation for success! I'm so glad to have this site for reference, information and support!

Hi everybody, posting this here in hopes of some help with taking next steps. I was on 20mg/day escitalopram (aka lexapro/cipralex) for 3 years due to crippling anxiety that came out of nowhere (never had anxiety before), and despite taking good care of myself (sleep habits, nutritious diet, regular exercise, strong social relationships, etc), it persisted. So after 6 months, I decided to take the drug route. I didn’t notice any improvement with 10mg after a couple weeks so we upped it to 20mg (should’ve given 10mg more time). My anxiety was brought under control without any serious side effects at first. After being on it for 1-2 years, I started to notice that I was always pretty tired and increasingly apathetic despite my good lifestyle practices and having always been an energetic and motivated person. By the end of the 3rd year, I was exhausted all the time with no motivation/enthusiasm, brain fog, and would literally need a nap 3 hours after waking up from 10hrs of sleep (caffeine/stimulants didn’t make a difference). A hard workout (I am a bodybuilder (no steroids tho)) would leave me crushed for several days, like a constant hangover. I was just chronically exhausted and lethargic and, possibly by extension of that or as a separate issue, depressed and unmotivated. I did a 4-week taper from 20mg to 0mg without any issues at each reduction, spending several days at each dose to make sure I was stable before reducing again. I now know that was way too quick of a taper, but I didn’t have any adverse reactions to dose reductions, even after going down to 0mg, and my energy/mood seemed to improve at first. It has now been 7+ months since my last dose because I thought it was just a matter of time/toughing it out after you got all the way off. To make matters worse, my last doses were 10mg that I was alternating with 0mg, which I now know I shouldn’t have done. The only acute withdrawal symptom I had was some manageable vertigo, but the protracted withdrawal symptoms have been hell. Despite great life circumstances and maintaining a good quality diet, sleep habits, and exercise routine, I am now almost always: exhausted, sad/depressed, lethargic, spacey, unenthusiastic, apathetic/anhedonic, irritable, moody, and sometimes anxious (though not nearly as bad as the original anxiety that I started taking the SSRI for). I don’t really enjoy doing much of anything any more and I feel like I could sleep forever. I’m lucky to work a job that is flexible, so I don’t need to set an alarm usually and typically get 9-10hrs of sleep. I still wake up tired every day and often need naps despite never being a nap person before. My sleep quality is good (no insomnia really) My life is falling apart. I’m familiar with the waves and windows, and I’ve experienced one 2-week window, and the very rare goodish day here and there, during that 7-month period, but most days are crap . I have been tracking my mood/energy every day in a spreadsheet for last 3 months, and although I THINK I am doing a bit better now than I was during the first few months, it’s almost negligible, with awful days and chronic exhaustion still being the norm. Given that I am 7+ months in, I don’t want to quit while being so “far along”, and I know that reinstatement is less likely to work now or may even have adverse effects (kindling), but I am starting to consider getting back on a very small dose (<1mg?) to get stable again before executing a proper taper in hopes of avoiding continued PWS. I’m 25 and I’ve basically lost the last 2 years of my life, which I know is nothing compared to some of the experiences on this site, but I’m hoping to get some guidance or input here since my doctor is pretty out of the loop on SSRI PWS (his suggestion was to start taking wellbutrin/buproprion, which I would rather not gamble with). It seems to me that I’m basically deciding between the risk of reinstatement resetting my withdrawal progress and not working/making things worse OR toughing it out for who knows how long, maybe forever, and possibly getting new, even worse, withdrawal symptoms as I know there is a possibility of experiencing new withdrawal symptoms many months down the road. Some context notes: I am still able to consume most supplements (other than 5-HTP and melatonin) without any obvious adverse effects (for example, caffeine/pre-workout and nicotine gum/Zyn seem to be fine, although they aren’t as effective as they used to be) and I still lift weights very intensely since time away from training doesn't seem to help.Point being, I haven’t really been able to identify any trends as far as diet, supplementation, lifestyle habits, etc. causing waves, but perhaps it’s because I’ve been constant with everything. I also tried magic mushrooms (2g) and it had no effect acutely, although the following weeks were slightly better, that could’ve just been a natural “window”. Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I am feeling hopeless.

Hi all, LavaBat here and ready to get some support for tapering off of Lexapro. A little about me: I am located in midwest USA and am 27 years old. I love animals, exercise, reading, and watching tv/movies. I was put on Lexapro at the age of 14 for anxiety and panic attacks, I am now 27 and can't seem to get off. I do not remember the dosage back then, but do know the highest I ever took was 20mg. In my later teen years I was at 10mg. Around 19 years old I managed to get down to 7.5mg and have been at 7.5mg for the past 8 years with no luck getting lower. At 22, I was diagnosed with Autism, and have found that was the cause of my anxiety/panic as a child because I did not have the correct accommodations and support. Since I got the correct diagnosis and support, I have tried several times to wean off. The first attempt was several years ago and my doctor suggested half dose for a few weeks, then half of that, and then off. I tried going down to 5mg and within a week I felt the most severe panic that I had ever felt before. My doctor told me that meant I needed the medication because I clearly still had bad anxiety and the medication was needed to keep it at bay. So I went back to 7.5mg immediately and stayed there for another year or so. Then with a new doctor, I tried to wean off again. This time it was suggested to shave off a bit of the pill each week. I believe I was shaving off about 10% of weight each week. Around week 3 of shaving down the pill, my anxiety was back to being unbearable along with bad nausea and diarrhea. The doctor told me once again that meant I needed to stay on the meds as I still had bad anxiety without. I have not tried weaning since 2022 and am still at 7.5mg. I have also had issues with different brands and forms of the drug. When I picked up meds from a different pharmacy, after about a month I was getting very dizzy and lightheaded. Luckily I was able to get back to the other brand. Then last month, I found this site and decided to try to switch to liquid Lexapro to help the weaning process. I did 5mg pill and 2.5mg liquid for a few days. I had nausea, diarrhea, headaches, and anxiety so I went back to 7.5mg fully in pill form. And that is where I am now. My first question is, should I even bother trying to get off Lexapro? I have zero known side effects from taking it at my current dose and manufacturer. My partner asked me why I wanted to get off since it has been so hard and I don't have any issues with Lexapro. I couldn't come up with an answer other than I just want to and hate the idea of being so "addicted" to something. Is it possible that I genuinely need to be taking Lexapro? As for tapering, I am not sure where to go from here since the liquid Lexapro didn't work for me. If I were to make my own solution with the pill, I just worry that I wouldn't be getting an exact dosage each day and I would have to make it each day to stay potent. Shaving off by weight also seems a bit hard to get exact dosages with too. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Since I tried the liquid Lexapro only a few weeks ago, should I not taper for a bit just to make sure I'm stable? And finally, I was looking at microtapering. Since I have had such bad reactions in the past and already know I am super sensitive to medications (not just Lexapro), I have been thinking of starting with literally 1-2% taper for this next try. I think that could help me perhaps get the smallest amount of withdrawal and ease my fear of a bad reaction. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and for any support

Suffering from severe stress, overthinking and anxiety for over 15 years. Was on cymbalta for about 5 years. Then tried to withdraw from it using amino acids and herbs on my own. But had serious withdrawal symptoms and psychosis. Then I was prescribed Lexapro 20 mg and rexulti 1 mg. I was able to withdraw from rexulti after 2 years. But still currently on Lexapro 20 mg since 4 years. I want to wean off this time. I am so planning to get the SPECT scan done at the Amen clinics soon if it can be helpful. I am currently 35 years old and not going to give up this time. i tried to lower the dose by 15% (approx) 3 weeks back for 3 days and had severe withdrawal symptoms like fever, headache, muscle pain, sore throat, brain zaps, loss of control. I went back to my original 20mg dose and doing fine now since this week. Is it a good idea to take fish oil, multi vitamins, and other natural herbs while tapering off Lexapro so brain can produce new neurotransmitters?

Hi everyone. First time posting but I’ve been reading a lot of your stories over the last week. Thanks to you all for sharing, the mods for their feedback and the amazing resources that have been prepared. I’m 60 and have struggled with anxiety for most of my life but always felt like it was my own fault. I’m sure we’ve all been told that we need to be more resilient/less sensitive etc - as if that ever helped anyone, but I digress. My antidepressant journey began in 1995 when I tried Zoloft for post natal depression. It didn’t make me feel “better” but I didn’t want to kill myself anymore, so I guess it was better than nothing. Dr told me to get off it after 6 months so I did. Didn’t notice any changes. Quit my job and decided to move back to my home city and was prescribed Cipramil by a psychiatrist. When I first started it it honestly made me a bit manic I think and I decided to blow up my life further by splitting up with my husband. I went along happily on Cipramil for a while, got a new job and a new partner. Tried to quit cold turkey when I got pregnant again but was so loopy my dr told me the benefits outweighed the risks and I should stay on it through the pregnancy. My baby was born perfect in 2004 so all was well but my depression continued. At some point I had to stop Cipramil because of concerns about urination (one of those rare side effects). Psych tried me on Effexor because she thought the norepinephrine might help. I hated it and had to have a washout period of about 2 weeks before I could start a new something new. So about 2005 I started Lexapro. I was told it’ll be great cos it’s related to Cipramil and that worked well for me before. I can vividly remember the feeling as it literally hit my brain after the hellish washout period from Effexor. Such a relief. Started at 10 mg. In 2009 I got right into mindfulness meditation and it helped me immensely. I got healthy in body and mind and decided I was well enough to taper off Lexapro. By this time I was seeing my local dr (here in Australia we call them GPs or General Practitioners) for my prescriptions because the mindfulness had helped so much I stopped seeing the psych. But when I needed a new prescription to finish out my taper, I just got a lecture instead. That it was perfectly ok to stay on antidepressants long term and some people just need them. The amount I was taking at that time was well below the therapeutic dose and I should either stop or keep taking 10 mg a day. I liked my GP ( and he’d clearly drunk the coolaid) so I listened to him and went back up to 10 mg daily. Life happened and my mindfulness and fitness fell away and by 2017 I was falling back into a hole. My new GP told me to up my dose to 20 mg so I did, with minor improvements. By 2019 I was having suicidal ideation again. 2020 was rotten for everyone and I got burnt out at work and went on long term sick leave. GP tried me on 30 mg of Lexapro but it made no difference so I dropped back to 20. I started seeing a psychiatrist in late 2021 and he put me backup to 30 mg. Minor improvement and I’m a compliant patient. Late 2022 I stared reading about inattentive ADHD in relation to one of my daughters and realised the description fitted me to a t. I asked psych about it and he gave me a trial of dexamfetamine. I felt great and all my mood issues disappeared overnight. I forgave myself for all my “character flaws” (untidiness, lack of staying power, procrastination etc) cos they’re all just down to adhd. I cut myself back down to 20 mg of Lexapro almost immediately and it made no difference to me whatsoever. I still felt great.I stayed on that for about 6 weeks. Went back to psych and told him about my experience with dex and he upped my prescription of that and wrote me a prescription for a lower dose of Lexapro - 10 mg. So I dropped to 10 mg. First 7 days I was completely fine - getting back into yoga and mindfulness, keeping on top of my budget - fabulous. Then on about day 8, while doing yoga, I suddenly felt like I was gonna throw up and I was sweating profusely. Spent the next three days either on the sofa or in bed feeling dizzy and nauseous. My mood is still fine although I do find myself a little bit hyper vigilant. I used my time on the sofa wisely though and investigated discontinuation syndrome and came across this amazing site and realised that a drop from 20 mg to 10 was hopelessly ambitious. Even the Harvard guidelines for tapering suggest going from 20 to 15. So I’ve learned a lot in the last few days. I was so ill - just nonfunctional - that I decided to go back up. I took 20 mg yesterday to try and level myself out a bit and am planning to stick to 15 mg for a few days and see how it goes. That’s the main highlights of my antidepressant story. There are a couple of other bits that may be worth mentioning. I very briefly tried an MAOI in about 1998. Before it even had a chance to work on my mood, I took a sinus tablet and that was a disaster. Always read the label kids. I felt like I was literally going to explode both physically and mentally. Absolutely horrible. As I regularly get sinusitis and accompanying headaches, MAOIs were off my treatment plan immediately and permanently. The other thing I should mention is that a couple of times when my script has run out I’ve gone 4 days without any problems, but then suddenly on day 5, I’m irritable, weepy and get brain zaps. thanks for reading.