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Hello! Here is my story: Started taking Lexapro in 2012 and it really helped me to function in life during a stressful time. Decided to go off Lexapro in 2017. It was a fast taper, and I ultimately ended up staying at 5mg. Acute withdrawal symptoms were brain zaps, agitation, anxiety but they subsided after the first month, and over the course of the next 6-8 months, I slept a lot. I planned to ultimately finish the withdrawal process in the future. October 2020, I started putting a withdrawal plan together. Instead, I ended up going CT on Nov. 1 when I had a dental surgery and infection. This was an impulsive decision and a poor one. I thought that I just needed to get through the first month and then I would be okay. November 25, 2020, I got vertigo out of the blue and fainted/threw up. I thought this might have something to do with the withdrawal, so I kind of freaked out and took 2.5mgs of Lexapro. This knocked me out for 24-48 hours (headache/body aches/dizziness) and I stayed in bed. Everything checked out okay with the Doctor and when I asked if this was related to the Lexapro withdrawal, she said no, told me to throw away the pills. I received a diagnosis of Benign Positional Vertigo and was given a maneuver to do. The dizziness cleared up, it lasted 2-3 weeks Late December, work was stressful. I didn't eat really well and ended up with hives. I was taking Benadryl on and off. I took Allegra one day. There was one night the last week of the year where I didn't sleep at all and this was strange for me. Work stress seemed to be getting to me, but I pushed through. January 4, I started what was to be a month long meditation retreat at home, but something went wrong. I wasn't sleeping well, I was pushing myself, I had a lot of fear and resistance. I was crying uncontrollably. I was spinning out. By the end of the week, I decided to stop the retreat and now I'm in a very strange place. I'm super alert, anxious, fearful, tightness in my chest and I am not sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time. I can't seem to calm down and I am not functioning well. I can't even imagine going back to work like this. Have an appointment with my Dr. tomorrow, and will try to possibly see a psychiatrist. My question - at just over 2 months out, do I try to reinstate at a very low dose of Lexapro, or should I try the sister drug Celexa (I think that is it)? I'm worried about how to present to my Doctor. I am trying to make the best of this, but am really very scared. Thank you for your time, Crochet

I am desperate for some help. My story is long, so if you read it entirely, I sincerely appreciate it. I was on SSRI's for about 18 years, since age 11. I added in wellbutrin for about the last 7 years to counteract the side effects of celexa and lexapro. Eventually I had to add in buspar because my anxiety was uncontrolled. I felt better for a while, but when it got worse, I decided to see a psychiatrist. My primary doctor had been prescribing my meds previously. The psychiatrist tried me on zoloft, lamictal, paxil, and abilify. At the end of it, I was on paxil, wellbutrin, and abilify. I had taken abilify for 10 days and had a night where I vomited 6 times; I had not vomited in about 10 years. My psychiatrist told me she felt I had serotonin syndrome and instructed me to discontinue all of my meds immediately. She gave me klonopin to get through withdrawal. I trusted her and did not know any better. I thought I would be okay. I had all of the typical withdrawal symptoms, but shortly after, started to experience new symptoms/injuries/illnesses. I started having panic attacks which I never had before. I started to have muted and painful orgasms, and then came pudendal nerve pain. I tried to reinstate antidepressants 4 months later, but they have only made me feel worse. I'm experiencing side effects I've never had before, even on AD's I've previously been on with no issues. I will attach a medication timeline and a symptom timeline. I have a new psychiatrist and he does not know how to help me except to keep trying me on medications. I'm terrified of them now, but all in the same, I know I can't stay this disabled for an indefinite amount of time. I lost my job due to dizziness/dysautonomia/swaying etc. If anyone has any advice for me, I would really appreciate it. I'm feeling very lost and alone and terrified. I saw numerous specialists who all told me I had anxiety and needed pills; not that my brain and body are injured and destabilized. As of today I am still on klonopin (0.25mg twice daily) and tapering off of lexapro 0.5mg every 4 weeks (currently at 1.5mg, experiencing withdrawal symptoms, set to decrease to 1mg on saturday 1/1/22). I cannot taper off klonopin until I'm done with the lexapro taper. April 29th- discontinued paxil (20mg) and Wellbutrin XL (150mg) May 2021- muted and painful orgasms May 2021- numbness/tingling in extremities May 2021- panic attacks started July 4, 2021- pudendal neuralgia/tailbone pain started July 2021- waves of depression started July 20, 2021- carvedilol increased from 1 q12h to 1 AM and 2 PM August 11, 2021- BPPV maneuver (half somersault)- PPPD started August 13, 2021- mouth twitching (due to Compazine) August 25, 2021- clonazepam prescribed by primary doctor August 31, 2021- jaw clenching (due to Trintellix prescribed by primary doctor) August 2021- hair falling out in clumps September 2021- dysautonomia/POTS started September 2021 (after reinstating Lexapro per psychiatrist)- RLS, migraines, tinnitus, ear ringing, constant music in my head again October 2021- rashes started October 2021- PPPD diagnosed after vestibular testing October 2021- left shoulder popping October 2021- brain fog, memory issues, trouble word recalling November 2021- muscle spasms (everywhere) November 7, 2021- left knee popping November 7, 2021- right shoulder pain November 11, 2021- right shoulder popping November 11, 2021- jaw popping November 12, 2021- cold sensation and nerve sensations coming from tailbone November 15, 2021- right shoulder pain and weakness November 16, 2021- decreased carvedilol back to 1 q12h December 9, 2021- blisters on top of hives December 10, 2021- cardiologist confirmed dysautonomia due to discontinuing antidepressants December 10, 2021- medial right knee pain December 24, 2021- pudendal neuralgia symptoms back to square one (pins and needles, burning, stabbing, hypersensitivity and severe pain) Celexa from 2003-2011 Cymbalta for 5 days in 2009- felt horrible like I was dying Celexa + Wellbutrin from 2011-2014 Lexapro + Wellbutrin from 2014- 03/2017 Lexapro + Wellbutrin + Buspar from 03/2017-2018 Lexapro + Wellbutrin + Buspar + Carvedilol (carvedilol introduced for physical forms of anxiety high BP high HR) from 2018-2020 Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Buspar + Carvedilol from Dec. 2020- Feb. 2021 Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol + Lamotrigine (lamotrigine 2 weeks) Feb. 2021- lamotrigine caused stiff neck, increased anxiety, short term memory loss, overall floaty feeling in my head Zoloft + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol March 2021- zoloft helped with ocd and depression, but not anxiety Last dose of Zoloft April 1st Paxil + Wellbutrin + Carvedilol March 2021- April 2021- still had some anxiety with paxil April 15th, 2021- April 18th, 2021- trazodone 50mg April 19th-April 28th – Abilify added. On the 28th, up all night vomiting/diarrhea April 29th, 2021- discontinued meds cold turkey at Jaime Mendoza’s instruction (except carvedilol)- suspected serotonin syndrome 5/19/21-5/23/21 Seroquel (12.5mg)- made me very dizzy and I was already very dizzy from withdrawal (pre pppd) 6/22/21-6/30/21 Prozac (10mg)- heart was racing and pounding, chest hurt, increased blood pressure. Instructed to stop and see cardiologist: heart monitor and echocardiogram normal, cleared to take meds on 8/20 8/20/21- Pristiq er (50mg)- severe diarrhea, nausea, woke up at 1am having a panic attack, face green, eyes dilated, shaking, sweating and about to vomit 8/31/21-9/22/21 Trintellix (5mg)- jaw clenching, teeth clicking, brain zaps, increased dizziness, increased anxiety, nausea/vomiting, increased headaches, dry mouth, vivid and frightening dreams, increased panic attacks and pseudoseizures, itching, some blurry vision, gas, worsening depression, irritability 9/23/21-10/8/21 Lexapro (5mg)- Palpitations/pounding heart (mostly at night), Ear ringing, Tinnitus, Bad dizziness/off balance/increased 3pd, Nausea, Racing thoughts, Restlessness, restless leg syndrome 10/9/21-11/5/21 Lexapro (2.5mg) 11/6/21-12/3/21 Lexapro (2mg) 12/4/21-12/31/21 Lexapro (1.5mg) 1/1/21-1/28/22 Lexapro (1mg) 1/29/22-2/25/22 Lexapro (0.5mg)

Here is my story. As an adolescent and college student, I suffered from anxiety and in particular social anxiety. I finally sought psychiatric treatment in senior year of college (year 2014) as I also started getting major depressive symptoms and was prescribed Zoloft (at 100 mg for 7 years, then tapered to 50 mg for the remaining time I was on it; I did not take any breaks, was always on it during this time; mainly had some sexual side effects, a bit of emotional blunting, but overall really manageable from side effect standpoint, nothing major). It was highly effective at treating the physical feelings of anxiety and healed me mentally as well, slowly improving and lowering social anxiety and my depressive symptoms. In late July of 2023, while on 50mg I decided I was in a good place and found a few of the side effects annoying, and (unfortunately) self-tapered off the 50 mg (50 to 25 to 12.5 over around 6 weeks) by mid-September. As I tapered, I felt no increase in anxiety or depression (and had not been feeling these in a significant way for a long time – in fact I was the happiest I had probably ever been in my whole life, which is what prompted me to think I did not need the Zoloft any more), or any of the symptoms I took it for the in the first place, and experienced minimal ‘discontinuation’ symptoms as well. Then, about 6 weeks after stopping, in mid-November I had several things pop up at the time I did not recognize as relapse/discontinuation, but almost certainly were (GI distress, nausea, constipation) – these were separate ‘episodes’ that occurred, and there was spacing in between them. December 10 is when the true full relapse began: I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy, with chills, got bad night sleep / struggled to get back to sleep, following night at girlfriend’s had panic attack come out of nowhere- chills, shivering, feeling anxious not self, thought I was going to die- walked around and talked it out, died down in 20-30min… but for rest of night felt uneasy, struggled to sleep / got a bad night sleep. Following day woke up feeling full anxiety in chest, shoulders (adrenaline type feeling) and had racing/worrying thoughts, told primary care provider they refilled Zoloft 25 mg. I took the Zoloft 25 mg had a strong reaction (this was ~2.5 months after my last dose of 12.5mg), both positive in sense it did calm me down but with strong side effects (tingling, no libido, strange sensations (I experienced lower libido, but nothing like the strange sensations when on it before)—like an electric shock in lower body mostly, i.e., what I now know to be the ‘kindling’ effect and you can’t argue against this because human beings can’t natural produce electric shock sensations internally even as a manifestation of anxiety), deterring me from wanting to take it again, still got pretty poor sleep that night but not horrible. Did not take Zoloft Wednesday because concerned about side effects, still felt anxious / off and got poor night’s sleep again. I met with primary care thursday, at doctor’s office Thursday had a panic attack that did die down, they referred me to psychiatrist. On Friday took 12.5 mg Zoloft since they said it wouldn’t make a difference either way at that dose and felt more relaxed but again had weird side effects. The next day I started to feel weird, and took 12.5mg to take the edge off (in retrospect, not how Zoloft to be used but I was in an irrational, anxious state), made me feel calmer but still got a bad sleep. Sunday morning felt very off, like panic building so took 25 mg Zoloft initially calmer but panic attack did not stop ended up going to ER, had elevated BP/HR otherwise fine, and gave me low dose of lorazepam, talked it out, calmed down. Also trazodone for sleep, ended up sleeping very well that night for whatever reason. The next day felt a bit weird but also a bit recovered, around noon felt growing depression feeling so took 25mg Zoloft, then that night really struggled to get sleep, next morning also feeling off, had panic attack, ended up calling 911 evaluated in ambulance, just elevated HR and BP, calmed down, flew home that day (took Zoloft 25mg at noon because could feel growing depression feeling again). Had another panic attack and went to the ER one more time (this was last day I took Zoloft 25mg). I then started on my newly found psychiatrist’s (yea… unfortunately did not have one for a while) plan of 0.5mg/night clonazepam and 150mg Wellbutrin (since starting the 0.5mg clonazepam, no true panic attacks have occurred), unfortunately even with taking the Wellbutrin in the morning, I got no sleep that night (got hypnic jerks that kept me awake), told me psychiatrist, he told me to stop and we’d re-evaluate in a few days. Then following two nights no sleep, the psychiatrist kind of gave up on me, so then took a few days to find a new provider. Who started me on 5mg Lexapro (and continue 0.5mg/night clonazepam) – the main side effects were getting no sleep (down from 5-6 hours previous two nights) both nights I tried it and constipation (but other than that nothing bad). I took a break for a day and re-tried in the morning, then was able to get some sleep. Over a 5-week period, I vamped up from 5 to 7.5 to 10mg/morning Lexapro, and tapered down to 0.25mg/night clonazepam (tapered down regardless of impact on sleep because I did not want to become dependent). Since starting the Lexapro, there has been continued improvement in daily functioning, reduction in anxiety (in particular better control over thoughts), mood (continues to improve actually – in many ways getting back to old self despite being sleep deprived); I continue to feel I am approaching ‘normal’ / being myself more. However, there is still something major that is very off: I do not feel exhaustion/tiredness (OR anywhere near as much like **** as I should after a poor night’s sleep, I am also strangely am able to focus better and in a better mood than I’d be under normal circumstances) during the day (or a very limited amount of it), and continue to get poor night’s sleeps (I have not taken a single nap or dosed off at all since December 10… I even took 5mg ambien in the middle of the day (long story) and that failed to make me fall asleep). It is often challenging for me to both fall asleep, and guaranteed I will wake up at least 1-2 times throughout the night (and sometimes during these instances I cannot get back to sleep), and I can never sleep in past 7am. The worst nights are usually 1.5-2.5 hours, the better ones are in the 4.5-6 hour range (I had a streak of 0 hour sleep for 3 nights in a row after going down from .5 to .25mg Klonopin too early, then went back to 0.5mg and made taper more gradual). I have had several nights of 7-8 hour sleeps, but with only a few exceptions these have always been after taking a sleeping drug (and always the 0.25mg Klonopin as well). During the nights, I will sometimes wake up with a faster heartrate, night sweats, urinate frequently, when trying to fall asleep I have experienced minor hypnic jerks (though a lot less bad than the ones after taking the Wellbutrin) – a lot of these have admittedly declined in frequency (and some I think have been in reaction to taking certain sleep meds the night prior, e.g., Mirtazapine), but nonetheless my average amount of sleep has not improved that much, still waking up often and not getting very many hours (interestingly I also pretty much always remember my dreams). For awareness, I have tried Ambien (just 5mg) which did not work at getting me to sleep (did make me extremely drowsy though.. also felt depressed/anxious like 5-6 hours of taking it), Trazodone (25-100mg, it was effective, but started realizing it might be causing tachycardia and made me act weird in the mornings so stopped taking it), Mirtazapine (~4mg, probably the best sleep I’ve had during the whole experience slightly over 8 hours only woke up once, obviously made me extremely drowsy, but the next morning was a zombie, then in the afternoon started experiencing hypersensitivity and getting jolts of anxiety in reaction to things like dogs barking while on a walk), Lunesta (1mg – was effective 6-7 hours helped with falling and staying asleep, but did some GI distress, and felt causing some sort of mini-withdrawal since on the Klonopin / not advisable to take z-drug with benzo), and Hydroxyzine (25-75mg – this has been effective, I think become a bit less effective over time but still helpful, some side effects getting better, notable so want to avoid taking every night); for supplements I take 2mg melatonin, 300mg magnesium, vitamin D3, I try going to bed at consistent time, go on daily 30+ minute walks, employ diaphragmatic breathing, though admittedly have more to learn on sleep hygiene. All of this said, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the following (and I am going to an online forum because I have brought some of this up to supposedly highly qualified Ivy League-trained psychiatrists who won’t really know what to do). (1) Is there any possibility I did not give re-trying Zoloft a proper chance, and getting back on it at some TBD dosage is my only chance to get back to normal? When I took it initially it did feel weird, but all of the effects I’d be willing to put up with if I got back to feeling normally and being able to sleep properly again (even though as I took it later in the week I noticed most decline in intensity). Additionally I took it incorrectly, starting on a Tuesday at 25mg, then taking 12.5mg on Friday, then 12.5mg Saturday, then 25mg for just a few more days before stopping. You may think, why on earth would he get back on that he still had panic attacks on them (and yes, they were potentially worse because I took it, but I took it improperly, which likely completely threw off my brain). In comparison to Lexapro, when I first took it it did not interfere with sleep like Lexapro did (two nights in a row with no sleep, and still after 5 weeks on Lexapro I am getting poor sleep, though some components may be improving). It did have a calming effect, did have a somewhat numbing effect and made me feel better than I should have (given the overtiredness), but still that was early days and towards the end 4th day or so of using that became less the case. a. I read in some cases if you react strongly to the initial dosage that is “kindling” and does not mean the drug will not work, but just you are extra sensitive to it. My brain clearly grew dependent on Zoloft over the 9+ years I was on it and may need the drug to get back to normal. I had not taken it long enough the second time (only 4-5 days) to tell if it could properly reduce anxiety, rebalance my brain so I could sleep properly. When I was having the panic attacks while taking it, it had not been long enough to prevent them (would take weeks…), I was also not eating nearly enough (something I realized during my final ER visit when I horsed down a bunch of mediocre hospital food). b. If I were to switch I am pretty sure I’d need to cross taper with Lexapro, because going to 0 on an SSRI I don’t think would be good for me at this point, in particular combining the withdrawal with the sleep deprivation. It would probably be wise to start with a very low amount of Zoloft (like 1 mg?) to minimize any risk of Serotonin Syndrome. c. While I don’t think they take a nuanced approach, and lack a sophisticated enough understanding of SSRIs, have been advised against this by several doctors. (2) Does it make sense to stick with Lexapro, at least for several more weeks, potentially at a higher dose. I am not concerned about the constipation, but obviously if it makes sleep worse that’s a no go. I have noticed continued improvements shifts to normality while on it just not the desired improvement on sleep. In some ways I am happier on it than I was on Zoloft, but still not the sleep improvement—and sleep is huge foe me. If I were to increase the dose I would start going from 10mg to 12.5mg. My GI system seems to be improving (gets less irritated after meals, getting more of real appetite/feeling hunger) a. The recent psychiatrist I saw recommend I try increasing the dose of Lexapro and see how it goes over the next month. (3) Could it make sense to try an alternative SSRI, such as Prozac or Celexa? The key here would be getting brain back to a state where I could sleep. Or a different antidepressant class, but those are second line and known for even worse side effects. (4) Some may say the Klonopin, especially in the context of tapering, is hurting sleep (which it probably is but I doubt that severely given I have held at .25mg for 3 weeks), and right now I am still suffering from the bad sleep deprivation, have lost 15 pounds – suffering through potential benzo withdrawal might not be something I can handle now. I have no desire to ever take a dose higher than 0.25mg, and eventually 100% want off of it, preferably as soon as possible. (5) In terms of other treatment options for the insomnia, I have not yet tried Seroquel but have reservations given I already have not had the best experiences with Trazodone and Mirtazapine – if I were to try Seroquel maybe like ¼ or ½ the usual starting dose of 25mg… Would rather try one of the alternative treatments, CBD/cannabis if those really do sometimes work. a. I have heard CBT-I, ketamine infusions, psilocybin microdose, CBD, cannabis, maybe be helpful – would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these or other treatments

Hello,this is my story (sorry for my English), Currently suffering a lot and don't have a good supporting system,I feel so alone and lost and don't know if this nightmare will ever end, any help appreciated. 01/2017-12/2022 ~6 Years on Generic Lexapro (5mg-20mg) because of repeataive panic attacks and anxiety that lead to depression.No idea about withdrawal,dr just said that it will be easy to stop them just like I started them .Just I have to do it slowly when I see myself better.My tapering was not tapering as i read here ,I consider it cold turkey because of wrong directionns of docs. I went from 20mg to 5mg in a short time(4-5 month) and and then 0mg. Withdrawal symptoms: 01/23-04/23 Low mood , anxiety at times, high energy, feeling uncomfortable some times.I was feeling that something is not going very well and something is coming but no idea that was from withdrawl as I thought this poison was already out of my system as I was told by doctors. 04/23-07/23 Lot more stress and anxiety, shortness of breath, higher heart rate, balance problem showed, several panic attacks, difficulties focusing, lower productivity at work as my cognitive skills started to go down,pssd.(Thought just ws high stress and anxiety who caused this maybe need some rest ,still no idea about withdrawal.) 07/23-31/09/23 The terror just started,all the above symptoms but in much more extreme which gradually worsened(I took maca for pssd for 4 days in the beginning of 07/23 possibly worsened my symptoms or just what came was supposed to happen ).In the beginning I couldn't talk , couldn't find the easiest words tos say to complete sentences.My cognitive skills just faded away (I was able to understand that because I used to be a good student at uni so I had great pc skills and was a smart guy high grades ) but my mind just stopped to cooperate.All of this gave me a lot ,a lot of stress I thought I was going insane and I just couldn't accept this.I stopped my work temporary for a month because I thought I need some rest because of anxiety i had and I just needed some rest but the worse was coming.My balance problems worsned a lot more ,and just one day I started to have a headache in back of my head ,It was like someone was burning my brain inside.Then everything went worse i started to have headaches in every part of my head , sometimes feel like there is missing part of my brain ,and i feel that parts of my brain are missing sometimes,Very sensitive to louds and sounds in general cand handle everyday sounds I feel paralyzed ,not able to communicate for a long time or focusing in the words someone says ro me because headache starts and just cant handle (it is like it triggers stressors and if i continue to hear or focus in conversations after the pain this goes me to a panic attack )The same happens if i see a vidio for lot of minutes ,feell like my brain is very sensitive maybe due to the fact that i had so much stress about what was happening.I found about this group accidentally as I was in 2psy docs who suggested that i had relapsing and wante ro give me cocktail of other drugs . I suspected that and started the searching on internet.In the beginning i found a group of pssd because this is a problem I have since my CT,and wanted to know about these other drugs they prescribed me ,then I saw @pugsuccess story which lead me to this amazing forum.And reading here about symptoms and everything about withdrawals things started to make sense ,but I was in shock (I found SA0 12/09/23).I didn't started to get these drugs they prescribed me but Im suffering a lot these days.Worth to mention that when my headache started I had a lot of pain on my brain (I thought I was going insane minute to minute )and I wa unable to tolerate it.My family went me In ER and they gave me sth no idea what it was however they told me to take Lyrica(pregbalin) and see how things will go.I took lyrica next day (50mg) and it helped me a lot to be honest my pain reduced and since then I continue it ,but im afraid as it is also addictive and dont know really in this moment it helps or puts more fuel to the fire,but im afraid to take it off because the terror I saw when i went in ER was out of this world.I don't work anymore as I am not able to concentrate on pc and my cognitive impairment is very low . I live with my family this moment as not able to take care by myself but they don't understand me they think that everything is just in my head and they expectthis to pass day by day putting some sort of pressure on me ,also my friends dont understand me,thay just have not ever heard about everything i say so doesn't make sanse ,Im not not able to seee them a lot because I cant handle conversation for lots o minutes with pepople it trigers me that pain in my head .I don't know what to do anymore,I cant go back to ssri the stole my feelings for years ,but im suffering a lot now and 2 month ( 9 months off srri).Apart from the fact that i dont function normally because of my brain I also have lots of stress daily which also cause high heart rate . My worts days are usually I'm bedridden and just a step away to go in ER(lot of pain inside in my soul like is screaming so loudly but only me can hear it , fatigue,not able to communicate, sensitive to light and sound,and dont know if i will make next hour or not).It goes after 6-7 hours some times takes all day and night but freaks me out.Some moments of the day I feel ok but ar less than the waves. My sleep is (4-5 hours per night) except from some days that I was no able to sleep at all .Try to eat 3xday even though some days i don't have appetite.Exerxice whenever Im able and not beddriden usually (30 -50min biking ride or walking/jogging ~8000steps )5/7 days a week . Im trying to fight this but in we deepest waves i feel so bad ,so weak and not imaggine to tolerate this for much time .I don't know if anything i said makes any sense because my symptoms are a little different from others with lexapro.I just want to ask the moderators if is a good idea to continue with lyrica or not? And what is the best thing to do when acute withdrawal hits because I cannot know if there will be strongers acute waves than these who passed just in case to be prepared.Would be a good idea any benzo or any other way either way? Any support and suggestions appreciated. #Thank you for reading my story.🙂

Hi guys I tapered Cipralex 10mg to 0.00625mg over 2 years, Everything goes nice until I smoke weed which I thought is a medicine to heal, From that day onwards I got Akathisia then healed after 10 months and I got depression, Awful Mornings, Insomnia, Racing Thoughts, Fear of abandoned, Visual Snow, feels like always high. I got Patterns like Awful Mornings and Depressive Evenings. Note. I takes Propranolol 5mg for Akathisia and I still continue the med, If I Stop the med my feel like always high become worse and Heart palpitate, But Most of Symptoms heals day by day Thank God for Healing me. But I can't tolerate somes supplement like fish oil which could tolerate in Cipralex taper. I can't even tolerate Pepper in food. I introduce myself what are the things I do and I don't in me.

Hey Everyone, I have been working on coming off of Lexapro for years and this is the closest I have ever been. Long story short, I have been weaning off lexapro after a couple of failed attempts of 20mg. I am currently at 5mg and having severe waves and windows of withdrawal. Looking for a little support that this is normal. I have a week or two where I feel phenomenal then suddenly a sharp drop where all the suicidal fake thoughts intrude. This also includes horrible chest pain, nausea, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia and just an overall feeling of dread. These last anywhere from two weeks to a couple of days. I am unsure about whether I should continue a taper, or if I should hold, but from what I am reading this is going to be a long arduous process. Any support or advise is appreciated. Been reading many of the articles on here and just now decided to try to become a member myself. Thanks so much.

Hello. I’m a 31 year old female. Straight, single, no kids. From California. I am alcohol-free since 1/1/18 and don’t smoke or use drugs. I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2001, depression in 2013, and have had moderate to severe emetophobia for as long as I can remember (this contributes to most of my anxiety). My first time being prescribed an antidepressant was at age 12. I was on a low dose of Paxil CR after being hospitalized for mysterious ailments that turned out to be anxiety-related. I’m not sure but I think I was on that med approximately six months. I don’t remember having any issues coming off it. In my last year of college (2013), at age 23, I started experiencing a worsening of anxiety and depression symptoms and ended up back on Paxil. Between then and early 2016 I was on and off Paxil, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin. I gained a lot of weight from the SSRIs which started negatively affecting my health. I was able to get off the combo I was taking (Paxil and Wellbutrin) in 2015(?) with tolerable and brief withdrawal symptoms, and was having great success managing my life with healthy habits and talk therapy. That all came crashing down when I decided to buy my first house. (A decision I now regret!) The stress of it all made me start having panic attacks at work so I decided to go back on medication. I started with Zoloft but the second time around it gave me terrible side effects. Next was Prozac which was just a week of misery. So I finally tried Lexapro. It worked. But over the course of the next several years I gained even more weight, and along with unhealthy lifestyle choices, ended up with a type 2 diabetes diagnosis. Along with the type 2 diabetes, my absolute worst struggle is fatigue. I have low energy every single day of my life. It got so bad that I was almost fired from my job for excessive tardiness; I’d sleep though alarms. I actually ended up quitting that job and selling my house because my mental and physical health were sinking to their lowest. I spent over six months on disability and moved back in with my parents. I eventually started working part time. And now I’m back to working full time and recently moved alone in a nice rented apartment. The constant, everyday, debilitating fatigue is still there. I tried everything to remedy it, even had a sleep study done. Nothing. The sleep doctor said that SSRIs can disrupt sleep patterns. So through process of elimination I’ve come to the conclusion that my chronic fatigue is because of the Lexapro. Between that, no sex drive (and thus being single for the past 7 years), and the metabolic issues, I’m determined to get off it. Which brings me here. I first tried getting off my 15mg/day dose in summer 2019. I took the bad advice from a homeopathic doctor to taper down 5mg every two weeks. It was hell and even after stretching that out a bit, I had to go back to the full 15 and eventually 20mg dose after six weeks. I’m now on my second attempt to taper. I easily got back down to 15mg in January 2020. In October 2020 I talked to my psych NP (who’s been managing my medication for several years now) and she prescribe me liquid Lexapro so I can start a slower taper this time. I started off going down 1mg each week, sometimes two weeks if needed. I didn’t have too many issues. The main symptoms were fatigue, nausea, dizziness/lightheadedness, and brain zaps. January 22, 2021 I got down to 3mg and that’s where I still am because for some reason I’ve been smacked on my a** with symptoms. I’m experiencing all the physical symptoms above, but worse; now along with crying jags, derealization, irritability, intrusive thoughts, and depressive mood. They’re not constant but they’re enough to really mess up my life right now. (Pandemic burn out is definitely a contributing factor as well.) So I’m here on this site to navigate this last leg of my taper. Feel free to drop a comment, give advice, ask a question, or just say hi. I’m using this site mostly on my phone so I’ll do my best to figure it out and add my signature line ASAP.

( mod note, mmt) Ewa's Introduction topic is here: Ewa;Cymbalta 60 mg coldturkey My name is Ewa, I’m 49 years young and I have recovered from the voyage to hell that was initiated by cold turkey from 20 years of antidepressants use. In the title SHE is my daughter (now 12 years old) my first and main reason to stay here, second is my husband Eric who was my caregiver and was there for me unwaveringly, third information about withdrawal from this website (was my first website I found when looking for answers) and others like it, success stories of people who came through victorious, and relentless search for truth. On February 2018 I cold turkey from 60mg of Cymbalta (December 2017 I turned 44 years old) almost instantly I was in altered state of consciousness (in medical community labeled as mania, I dislike their terminology but I will use it here in parenthesis) had out of body experiences and visions (not hallucinations) one of them was my mothers trauma I didn’t know about. I was in trans like state very euphoric, didn’t need much sleep, had diarrhea for about one month, metallic taste in my mouth, could not eat meat and other foods. I was functioning but in different way. Gradually I was coming down from euphoria, it took 8 months and one day it was clear to me that I was very much different in past months (I had that awareness during but was not afraid of it) also I started to feel internal vibration that I thought was anxiety (never had anxiety before in my life). In the end of August 2018 I went back on 60 mg Cymbalta plus 0.5 mg Ativan (first time in my life I was put on benzodiazepine), two weeks into being back on drugs I became suicidal. Every two months I was in hospital changed the antidepressant Ativan stayed the same 0.5 mg twice a day or as needed. My condition was worsening and in January 2019 I did ketamine which put me further down the hell. By this time my diagnosis changed from depression (my original sign 😉) to treatment resistant depression, all they have left for me was ECT, I had 8 sessions in total and after last one as I was walking out of hospital (for my last two sessions I was outpatient, for so called maintenance sessions) I heard just a whisper of my own soul “Ewa you have to find your own way out of here, if you stay,there will be no coming back”, by this time I was a shell of my former self, a mare shadow of a human being, that upon waking from last ECT had to guess what year it was, I was successful in this but the president of USA in 2019 was still Obama.As soon as I got home I went on internet and found this website, my search for my own way out of hell has begun. At that time I was on Zoloft and Ativan, I decided to cold turkey again (two months taper) and in May 2019 my drug free life has begun. The level of suffering has intensified greatly and stayed the same for two years. I did not have windows not even one. I had severe insomnia, slept 2 or 3 or 0 hours, anhedonia, depersonalization, déréalisation, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation and urges, memory loss, cognition loss, complete loss of appetite, my GI was twisting and burning, I forced myself to eat and it was two bites at the time, I didn’t shower for weeks only when I was on my period (I never lost my menstruations still have it now), all consuming terror was always there, didn’t brush my teeth (had to have 3 crowns last year), I had light sensitivity sunny days in summer where extra torture, sounds sensitivity (I love music but in that state was torture), my whole body was stiff like I was log of wood very hard wood. Adrenaline rushes like toxic waves through my body, Agoraphobia ( was mostly bad bound), apathy, confusion, crying it was more wailing like a caged animal I became. Inner trembling, lethargy, complete loss of libido, during my very short sleep I manage to have nightmares. Tinnitus was not severe and it went away after about one year. January 3 2020 I wrote this “All I want is to be able to be a mother and wife again ! I love Chloe and Eric so much” at that time I had all the symptoms I listed above. Also I have to add that during my altered state of consciousness (mania) April 2018 I had breast lift surgery(it was scheduled in 2017), day after walking up the stairs I heard myself saying “it is not normal to cut healthy body” , this procedure so accepted and even praised by our sick society is a band aid in form of self mutation to secure love and approval of others behind which is a very deep pain. I had infection and was put on very strong antibiotics, further destroying my got. (I have to go to my appointment now second part of my root canal treatment, I will continue later on today, I will submit this now because I don’t know how to save this and don’t want to loose it 😊) Thank you to my father Jan whom I love deeply, it was from his life journey and strength I drew inspiration to go on.

Hi all, been tapering for 10 months, here's the breakdown: Prozac 20mg 2012-2014off for two yearsProzac 20mg 2016Switched to Lexapro 10mg 2017 as Prozac wasn't available in the country I moved toOct 2021 – started tapering Lexapro – 10 mg to 5 mgDec 2021 – 5 mg to 2.5 mgJan 2022 – reinstated to 5 mg as I was feeling very uncomfortableFeb 2022 – 4 mg liquid lexaproMarch 2022 – 3.5 mg liquid lexaproCurrent: HOLDING. Have been holding current dose of 3.5 mg for almost 6 months with NO plans to lower at all for a while. Was recently hit a few days ago with a big anx attack. Think it's life stuff: job loss two months ago, father diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, and also trying to start a business the last few months. So it's a lot. Have been learning a lot about Nervous System regulation from Irene Lyon and somatic healing (healing through the body, releasing trauma/building capacity). I've still been feeling deep, deep feelings in the body of wild discomfort. SO I just wanted to reach out. My prayer is that I didn't taper too fast... I realize NOW that I did and didn't do the 10% taper SA recommends (I did NOT know about it at that time). But I've been holding 3.5mg for nearly 6 months and seems just now so much in my body has come to a head. A sort of explosion I guess Would be very very grateful for any insight. Thank you!!

Hi Everyone, Sorry about any misspellings or rambling/fragmented sentences. I'm in the middle of a wave of high anxiety with severe insomnia. I figured it was time to give this a shot. I've been on and off Lexapro since 2014, mostly on. I had never taken a medication my whole life, barely took headache meds. Very active my whole life. I had flare ups of anxiety since I was a young child but I never knew what it was and just powered through. I'd always distract myself by working out, running, video games, etc. In 2012 my four year old son was having a lot of health issues and the doctors had him going through a lot of tests. This went on for over a year. My wife was scared, my son was scared, I was terrified. The cancer word was being thrown around. I was a ball of nerves, I couldn't outrun the anxiety this time. Our GP suggested I try an AD. I wasn't sure but my family really pushed me to try it as a crutch. I started taking Zoloft in March 2014 and I took it for 3 months. It made me insanely tired. I stopped working out and I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I wasn't anxious but I wasn't happy so I talked to my GP and he said I could just stop. I CT'd and got some minor brain zaps but nothing too bad. About a month later I had a full blown panic attack in Target, my first ever panic attack. It absolutely floored me. Then I had another panic attack a few weeks after that. I went to the hospital, got checked out and was told talk to my GP and see a psych. GP said you didn't like Zoloft, try Effexor. Also was told this was my mental illness progressing and now I would need this meds. I took Effexor that night and after about 3 hours I had worse anxiety I've ever had. Called GP practice, they said keep taking. I took it 3 more days and had to leave work and go to the hospital. I was in terrible shape with extremely high blood pressure and manic. I went inpatient where I saw a psych doc who put me on Lexapro 20mg and Klonopin 1 mg a day. I got out a week later and was allowed to work from home. I ended up back at work 2 months later after I started to feel better. I wasn't great but I could deal. You know the deal. Better more days than not. I started to gain weight, I stopped exercising, and I stopped socializing with family and friends. In July 2016 I started a taper. I went down 5mg a month and jumped in Oct 2016. I had a bad two weeks after every drop but got through. In January 2017, 3 months after I jumped off Lexapro, I started to get bad anxiety again. I was still on the Klonopin, now 1.5mg a day. It didn't help. My psych believed this was not withdrawal but my symptoms coming out again. She put me on Prozac and I had another bad reaction. Three days in I started having panic attacks and I ended up with insomnia for a month. I ended up back in the hospital where they put me back on Lexapro 20mg. I ended up getting more out of shape and lethargic. My BP, Cholesteral, and Sugar were up. I started CBT and pushed myself to exercise. I could not lose weight. I ended up finding a psych doc in my area that is great at tapering off benzos. So I joined a Benzo recovery discord and became active on Benzo Buddies. I tapered off 1.5 mg of Klonopin from December 2018 to December 2019. Actually took my last dose on Xmas eve. Coming of the benzo was terrible but I did it. It was a long terrible year. Next I turned my attention to the Lexapro and my psych doc got me liquid and I went down 1 mg every week from February 2020 to August 2020. When I jumped in August I had about 2 weeks of pretty bad symptoms but they resided over time. I was doing really well, very active and getting good rest. All of sudden I woke up insanely anxious last Thursday and it's been that way since. I'm having insomnia, insane anxiety, not hungry, face flushed, gastro issues and constant fight or flight. Just coming here for some type of support.

Hi I withdraw Lexapro for 1 year completely facing unbearable withdrawals and again started for 6 months slowly tapered to 5 and was on 2.5 for 1 year and again quit for 5 months .. crashed very badly again and now reinstated 5 mg for 1 month .. when will my symptoms improve .. and is there anyone who really quit this hell and leading their life again .. PKEASE PKEASE OKEASE HELP ME

Hello everybody. I was referred to this forum after trying to find answers about my problem on other websites for almost a year now. To somewhat quickly sum up my story. I was put on psych meds at 16 after a breakdown related to OCD. I am not sure how long I have been on Lexapro, but probably since around 2013/2014. I first started taking psych meds at 16. I was dealing with a bad APRN (who I saw for years but became worse and worse over time) who had me on 30mg of Lexapro for at least 2 to 3 years. I cannot remember how long I was on 20mg before that, and for how long. I apologize. I couldn't get a refill due to problems with my computer for an online meeting, they didn't give me enough to taper off safely (didn't even tell me to taper off or warn me about withdrawal symptoms), so I ended up having a breakdown about 3 months later, but not any cognitive issues at all. I was very paranoid and anxious, but my memory was fine along with my memory and ability to talk eloquently. I was put back on 10mg of Lexapro about 2ish weeks after the incident. I remember having a dull pain at the very top of my head for a little bit, and since that week, I've had breathing problems, sinus issues such as dryness and pain (watery mucus too, now my sinuses feel very dry recently), memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, dry mouth, chest pains, face/neck pains and a warm/tingling feeling on the left side of my face (sometimes numbness too), vomiting, throbbing headaches, high blood pressure (this has mainly gone away I think, could have been from withdrawal) jaw stiffness (my teeth would clench subconsciously while awake, that's gone away) and ear ringing. I also now have sleep apnea. I had to immediately stop taking it again due to these issues, I lasted about a week on the new dosage. It almost feels like I had a TBI without having a TBI. I don't know if the SSRI caused it or the stress of the breakdown (was put on a psych hold) and personal family problems such as my mom getting sick with cancer that eventually killed her caused it, or both. I've been feeling like this for about 10ish months now and it's not getting any better. I have sexual dysfunction problems, emotionally I feel numb, and when I try to think deeply it feels like my brain is a stalling car. My memory is also as bad as ever, and the neck/face problems are still here, I can feel them as I'm typing this. It also feels like when I speak to people, my mouth is speaking faster than my brain can think. This is something very new, and it causes me to stutter/not talk as eloquently as I used to. I used to be very well spoken and now that's gone. I can recall events in my life/childhood, but now I can no longer remember specifics of the events, such as words said. It's very odd. I've had CT/MRI scans done of my brain and neither showed real problems. I'm seeing my PCP in September because my problems are getting worse, and I'm supposed to see a neurologist in November, and I'm thinking of asking for a qEEG, SPECT, and a nerve conduction study. I'd just like some advice on what to do to feel better. Not sure if my APRN is liable for the damage done to be or not, either, but this isn't a legal forum, so I'm not expecting any advice on that front. My former APRN, who I had gone to for years, slowly became worse and worse, and got angry at my mom at times for scheduling my appointments with my APRN. When I saw my APRN again after my breakdown/psych hold, she didn't seem to care about me going off 30mg cold turkey, her not telling me to taper off of it or warning me about the problems etc. She just put me back on 10mg, and when I had to stop taking it due to my side effects, she refused to help me any further, saying she would only see me if I saw a therapist, and even when I did, she refused to talk to me about my problems because "legally I [The APRN] can't because [The APRN] doesn't see me as a client anymore". She's the one who won't see me anymore, so I don't get it at all. She was very cold and uncaring about my mom getting sick and dying of cancer, only saying "getting a job helps with anxiety" and "Medicaid is hard to get on". It's so horribly depressing to feel like you've lost what made you, you. My memory is awful, my emotions are all over the place, I stutter sometimes now when I never used to, my cognitive thinking is awful. My voice actually sounds different to me. I don't know what's going on. My personality feels so neutered. I just want some help to get a definite answer on what's causing all of this.

zoloft 1974-1997. Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mg XL?. lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-2023. Went off lexapro with 1/4 tablet taper over one month. Then D/Ced vyvanse over 4 days. Rough 2.5 months; emotionally labile and feeling bad; hit the wall fatigue. Some improvement most weeks. Started to realize the siege was too painful to sit through. 10 weeks after D/C re-instated ¼ tab [1.25mg] lexapro. Return to OK, but major memory and learning deficits. My prescribing MD could only offer returning to 5mg lexapro and given the breadth of new symptoms, he named new diagnoses, foresaw additional new medication, also planned to refer me to local MDs doing Ketamine therapy. Only at this point did I start to educate myself and find out about anti-depressant withdrawal syndrome. From Inner Compass to an armlong list of scholarly articles. I for some reason I could not figure out how to get started on this site, and my initial posting of this history sat on the side. I stabilized, and though fragile, after about a month, began a successful slow taper 5% every two weeks. Felt better as time passed. Around 1.05mg, had two weeks of low-grade anxiety and then sudden full blown withdrawal symptoms recurred. Holiday stress and darkness? though light therapy did not help at all. Doing meditation, daily exercise without improvement. Using all psychic energy I could muster to get through the days. Increasing dose by 5% approx. every 3 days did not help. Tried using AM and then multiple daily doses to treat symptoms, given the pharmacology of lexapro. Up to 3+mg without reliable or full relief. Trial of 2.5mg was suggested; blew my head off, could not think, overstimulated, until about 2-3PM. Reached out everywhere online and local MD. A kind person on the Inner Compass site gave some support, and I landed on a dose of 2mg. where I have again stabilized. Multiple psychiatrists did not have knowledge, and one labelled my insistence on the withdrawal symptoms as psychotic. Still fragile and looking for a local guide in SF Bay Area going forward. Forcing myself to post since I cannot find a way to otherwise contact Altostrata directly. I am happy to share my experience going forward, but my priority at the moment is finding local in-person support for this withdrawal process. I am a woman in her mid-seventies. drug signature: zoloft 1974-1997 Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mgXL? Lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-June 2023. lexapro 1.25mg to 1.05mg using q 2 week 5% taper Aug-December 2023 lexapro 1.2mg-3.8mg [divided] Dec 2023-Jan 2024 Lexapro 2mg Jan 2024-

Hello everyone- my story began in early April when coronavirus was just shutting everything down. The quick story is I have a history of anxiety that I managed with exercise(gym)and diet, etc. When everything shut down, my anxiety went through the rough and my coping mechanisms were all hampered. I had a panic attack. My sleep was suffering. A good friend is a pcp and I reached out to her on a Saturday (April18) for help and she started me on Zoloft 100mg and buspar 10mg 2 x a day. My initial 2 days of buspar were actually only 5 mg total per day. At her request, I followed up with my pcp that Monday April 20. This PCP was new to me as mine had retired. Anyway, my sleep actually got worse when I started the meds. My PCP added trazadone 50mg as needed To help with sleep. I took that on april 20 but it did nothing so I called my new pcp on Tuesday April 21. I told her what happened and I asked could the Zoloft be affecting my sleep? I told her I had taken it at night and maybe that was the issue. Her answer was probably not and I needed to relax. She switched me to lexapro at that point. So I started 5 mg of lexapro April 22nd. she also added ambien. I took ambien for 3 nights total. I also tried trazadone maybe 2 more times as well in April. i switched my care to a psych NP as I thought it made sense. Starting in May 1st I was upped to 10 mg of lexapro. It was in May I started to think the meds were the root of my sleep issue. I was having a completely different sleep pattern than when I started the meds. Before meds it was more I couldn’t fall asleep. After meds it was I could stay asleep and it was very light sleep. So decided to taper off buspar for about a week where I took 5 mg 2x a day. I finished taking it on May 27. June 1 I asked my psych NP to come off the lexapro. He recommended I cut down to 5 mg. I did this for 2.5 weeks and at that appointment my psych NP told me I could stop. I decided to cut down to 2.5 mg for 1 week and then 1.25 for 9 days. I came off on July 4. April 18-Zoloft 100mg and 20 mg buspar April 20- trazadone 50mg April 21 - change to ambien 2.5 mg April 22- started lexapro 5 in place of zoloft April 25- stopped ambien April 27,28- tried trazadone 50 mg But stopped May 1- Lexapro 10 mg May 18- buspar reduced to 5 mg 2 x a day May 27- stopped buspar June 1- lexapro reduced to 5 mg June 3-5- trazadone - when I realized it was an SSRI I stopped. June 18- lexapro 2.5 mg June 25 - lexapro 1.25 mg July 4 - off My current withdrawal pattern seems to have windows and waves. My sleep quality seems better but duration fluctuates. Typically I sleep 4-5 hours then have a hard time falling asleep. Occasionally I have fallen back to sleep and I’ll get 7-8 hours total which is encouraging. I was having nightmares, vivid dreams and some very light sleep but that seems better. I’ve had some days with depression, anxiety, joint pains, brain fog, memory issues, ruminating thoughts, GI issues, weakness and fatigue. Things seem to fluctuate. Yesterday was a good day. I felt tired but almost normal. Today not so much. So I’m thinking waves and windows? Supplements: omega 3 1000 mg 3x a day magnesium glycinate 400-600 mg melatonin 1 mg vitamin C 1000 mg probiotics i walk 4-5 miles per day. any thoughts? thanks!

I started Escitalopram 5mg for around 2 weeks everything was fine, didn’t have any issues. I was bumped up to 10mg around the 2 week mark and a couple days later i had numbness and burning on my forearm so I decided to quit cold turkey. I was fine for over a month but then i started to see withdrawals. I have a loss of touch and i have full body numbness, especially and night if i stay still might entire body will tingle and be completely numb. It’s been around 3 months now since i took my last dose and im not sure what sure what if i should reinstate the drug or just see if it eventually goes away. I just don’t know what to do

Hi I’m joeindians, I’m a 38 year old male that weighs around 200 lbs and about 12 years ago I “hurt” myself with an accident that messed up my fascia tissue in my lower abdominals/ pelvis. This has caused me great distress for my sleep because I wake up 4 times a night to pee. It has also caused me great anxiety. In March of 21’ I was prescribed lexapro 10 mg. The first few days were rough because of the depersonalization effects but after it was gone, things were incredibly better. Then about in early June ‘21, I became extremely fatigued. I went to the dr and they did all the sleep studies/ vitamin studies and found only a slight apnea thing which didn’t explain that I felt extremely tired after I took lexapro. Fearing for my anxiety coming, I continued to take lexapro until December when I decided it was enough. I used a nail filerer to file small amounts of lexapro 10 mg everyday from dec 30-Jan 25. I’m still experiencing chronic fatigue everyday, along with brain zaps, vivid dreams and constant ringing in my ears. I sleep about 9 hours a night and I am still exhausted. And I still wake up to pee 4-5 times a night. Life really sux right now. How long should these withdrawals last? I know it’s a hard question to get answered but I’ve been only on the drug for about 10 months even though the bad effects took place only 3 months into taking the drug. anyway, the only thing that kinda helps is my faith and my deep yogic breathing I do everyday. thank you 🙏 0.0 lexapro

I have waited a long time to post this. Am unused to confiding personal stuff, have difficulty connecting with people and also my memory of things is muddled. This is a truncated version of my experience with anti-depressants (AD) over 6 years plus currently 2 and half years of withdrawal. Beginning Started experiencing debilitating anxiety and depression in my late teens. I found myself becoming a recluse in my thirties. For a few years I went weeks without venturing out of the house. When I did, I got out in the early hours to get some exercise. And that was it. During this time an unfortunate incident happened and I came into possession of Lexapro which was prescribed for someone else and one day I started taking it. In short, Lexapro saved me. I felt different. I managed to go out to places I normally hate/fear. I didn't feel anxious when I was around people. It was a miraculous thing. I felt calm. I could concentrate. I could be at ease. I could do things for myself and my family again. I could live life again. During my years on Lexapro I still experienced some periods of depression, anxiety and anhedonia though it's not on the same level as before meds and after it. Even though it seems the beneficial effects became weaker overtime, overall Lexapro worked well for me. I don't regret taking it and if given a choice to go back in time I would still have taken it as there was just no way out. Decision to stop Since I had improved I felt there was hope that I could live without it. I weighed the pros and cons of continuing on this med. I worried about the instability of my sources and the possible side effects of continuing long term. I mentioned I wasn't prescribed them so I bought more from online pharmacies. You may wonder why I did not go the formal way instead. I have issues with seeking help and with people in general. If I could do it by myself I would. Only my partner knows about my condition. I tried a few times to stop but finally succeeded on my last try at end of 2020. Maintained an erratic approach to tapering. Besides tapering dosages I used methods like alternate days and going without till withdrawal symptoms start showing. I jumped off at 1.25mg as it was the smallest dosage I could feasibly obtain (I now know there's a way to obtain even smaller dosages from this board). In estimate I really tapered off in a few months time. Withdrawal Emotional aspects are the hardest to bear. Beginning I felt a lot of anger and irritation. Sudden bouts of rage or getting extremely emotional and teary. Daily sudden waking with a lot of anxiety or waking up and experiencing dystalgia. Constantly feeling tired, stressed out and overwhelmed. Constantly on the edge of breaking down. For periods I would experience depersonalisation-derealisation and persistent dystalgia (a term invented on this board on obsessing about the passage of time and the past). I find myself obsessing over things and thoughts which were easier to let go of when I was on AD. Also obsessed with issues of death, mortality and suicide. I still experience all these in phases currently and had been constantly down in 2022/23 with weeks long of deep depression and despair. There's the constant uncertainty and doubt, especially so during a wave, which is often. Is it a relapse? Can I really overcome the withdrawal? How long is this going to go on? Will I ever heal? Why am I putting myself through this? Whenever I get really bad I start wondering about going back on. The idea of having to one day go through withdrawal all over again stops me fantasising about this option. The other option is to stay on it forever which I just can't see myself in. Another thing that adds to the uncertainty is I don't really have an old functioning image of myself to fall-back on. I can't go back to the old me. Physical symptoms Worsening eyesight, being unable to focus on near objects (could be because I am getting older but the development coincided with my withdrawal), halo effect around light sources, blurry eyes, light sensitivity and worsened night vision. More than half of my hair had turned grey to this ordeal (people had commented on this). Nerve pain in the left hip that mostly went away followed now by stiff and painful neck. I still experience random mild brain zaps though infrequently. Recent months developed constant tinnitus which I think is due to the overwhelming stress withdrawal has on my mind and body and is an added agony. I feel easily tired and overwhelmed. I am devastated by what is happening to me. I feel like I have aged 10 years in these 2 years of withdrawal with no end in sight. Brain fog, unable to concentrate and think and erratic moods have seriously impacted my ability to function. I am struggling almost everyday to do even simple things. In my messed up mind I feel like this is a manifestation of "there's no free lunch ever". The suffering and damage I am experiencing now is payback for the good Lexapro had brought me. I just hope that 6 good years will not translate into an equivalent of 6 years of agony. Though what I have typed above are mostly bleak, there are times when I am better. My mood varies throughout the day. It's true that when we are in a wave we feel we have always been like this and will always stay like this. I try to remind myself of this. That things can change and they will change. I feel my symptoms had somewhat stabilised. Most days my struggle is with depression, anxiety, restlessness, feeling lost, becoming overwhelmed and fatigued easily. I have found a lot of reassurance in this forum knowing that I am not alone in what I am going through and seeing others give names and descriptions to what I am experiencing. Much thanks to everyone here. ----------------- During my period on Lexapro I experimented with other psych drugs (Celexa, Fluvoxamine, Bupropion) for short periods. None of them had the same effect as Lexapro and I had no problem getting off them. I also used Prozac (sporadically to help cushion withdrawal symptoms) and St John's wort (March-April 2021) to help me wean off Supplements I take (not regularly) - fish oil, inositol (in small doses as it causes GI issues), magnesium, lutein, iron, Vit b complex, Sam-e. Supplements I have tried - 5-htp, L-theanine, Gaba, L-tyrosine, Ashwagandha. For me the ideal is not having to take any supplements at all. ----------------- Things I do to help myself I try to meditate and do MBCT (mindfulness based cognitive therapy) combined with TDCS/TACS (Transcranial direct current stimulation/ Transcranial alternating current stimulation) but hasn't been consistent due to periods of deep depression where basic things like getting up and self hygiene is impossible. It's a tedious cycle of falling off the wagon and having to climb back on, over and over. TDCS seemed to help at the very beginning. Meditation seems beneficial whenever I am able to get to it but it needs to be practised long term consistently to see any real changes. Whenever I fall into a depressive cycle (can happen anytime and without triggers) I haven't found anything that can really pull me out or shorten the cycle or ideally prevent me from falling into it in the first place. I try with supplements that are recommended like fish oil and magnesium but don't know if they help. I try to do things like walk or cycle when I am better. I don't follow any specific diets. I take alcohol sometimes when it gets too much to help with situation that elicits stress and anxiety. I know this is frowned upon here but it's something to help myself cope. Otherwise I stay away from alcohol. Additional note on alcohol: when I was taking Lexapro I drank more often. And It seems alcohol has a different effect on me now. -------------------- What I need I need to develop new skills that can help me cope with life stresses. Life only gets harder as I get older. I am pretty critical of myself and I need to show myself more compassion and forgiveness and not be so serious about this life. I also need to be more consistent in my efforts to help myself and in the supplements I take. I tend to shift and change my mind often and quickly. -------------------- About my eyesight Went for a check-up as I experienced halo around light sources pretty significantly a few months deep into withdrawal. The optometrist mentioned the optic nerve was slightly enlarged and asked me about familial history for glaucoma but with more tests she confirmed my eyes were fine. I know that there are studies showing SSRIs may affect vision.

Hi, I'm Rose, I'm 27, and I'm terrified I'm losing my mind. I'm a little confused on how to write my signature, but I'll add it once I figure out how to do so. I've read many posts, which have helped me come to terms with my situation to an extent, or, at least, they've helped me understand my situation. I was on Lexapro from mid 2020 until about May this year for depression, that I didn't realise was being caused by withdrawal from paroxetine, seeing as I'd recovered from my more severe withdrawal symptoms. Upon ceasing Lexapro I was okay, but 2 weeks later everything went to hell. My taper had been too fast, I understand that now (and I really should have already known not to taper so fast as I previously stopped paroxetine essentially cold turkey and experienced a living hell), but I hadn't experienced any symptoms while tapering from 10mg to 5mg to 5mg every second day so I stupidly thought I should just stop. Obviously, that was a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Everything fell apart and I reinstated 5mg of Lexapro in mid May, but then I did something even dumber. After being on 5mg for 6 weeks or so I still felt terrible, so I decided that I should just go down to 2.5mg because I was desperate and just wanted the drug out of my system. I was okay for a week or so, but then 5 days ago it felt like a switch flicked in my brain and I went further down hill. My short term memory has become worse, my anxiety is sky high, I feel as if I'm seeing things in my peripheral vision/misinterpreting what actually is in my peripheral vision, I'm confused almost half the day, my heart is racing, it's difficult to stay asleep, I have visual hypnagogic hallucinations, as well as distressing vivid dreams where I feel like I'm going insane (which is making me scared to sleep). I feel like I'm half disassociated/derealised most of the time, like everything feels off and unreal, and everything is overstimulating/my brain seems to not be able to process the external stimuli it's receiving correctly, e.g. someone turns a page of a magazine and my brain interprets it as a train going by. But what's scaring me the most is that everybody's face seems sinister and terrifying; their expression isn't changing or anything but my brain is interpreting it as a threat. I can't tell if this is a symptom that has become worse because of anxiety, as in because I'm aware of the symptom it's now happening almost constantly, or if it's actually happening almost constantly. I can't put into words how horrible this symptom is. When I'm at my most logical, I begin to think my constant anxiety and my distressed nervous system is causing me to believe everything and everybody is a threat, but even then I'm still not sure. Weirdly enough, I have seen an improvement in the fatigue I was experiencing, and my ability to write and put my thoughts into words, so that's something, I guess. Aside from support and comfort, I'm also searching for some advice. I was wondering if I should go back up to 5mg or increase my dose slightly to maybe 3mg or 3.5 or some other dose, just to sooth my nervous system, or, because I've been on and off and on the drug and then tapered too fast twice, if it's not wise to increase the dose once again, and that I should let my brain regulate itself. I'd appreciate any response as I'm really quite desperate and terrified that I'm losing my grip on reality. I forgot to add that I'm taking Omega 3 once a day, and have been prescribed 2mg melatonin to help with sleep, and have 5mg valium and 10mg propranolol that I do not take often, only when I'm at my worst. I don't want to become dependant on either drug and want to allow my nervous system to heal naturally.

Have been on antidepressants since 1990s. I would go to my PCP and tell them what I wanted to try next. Over the years I have been on prozac, paxil, and now the cocktail I want to taper from. Tried to taper in past but gave up quickly thinking there would be a better time. And May 2019 was it. Started to taper from wellbutrin and lexapro ‘cocktail’ under guidance of PCP. She put me on a 2 year taper. In March was down to 150 mg wellbutrin every 4 days. Crashed with current homebound routine. So she suggested I go to every 3 days and wait for the pandemic to ease up before resuming taper. Is it possible after all these years to actually be drug free? Are there any psychiatrists who know about tapering? Ive read allot about the tapering strips. Any psychiatrists willing to prescribe? I want off these meds...but the road sure is daunting at times. Any words of encouragement welcomed.

Hi everyone, After many months of reading and gaining some hope and encouragement from the stories here I decided to join your great forum. Sorry, but this is a very long story. Im a 39 year old male from Australia and I have been taking ssri’s for GAD for the last 10 years. I started on Paxil 20mg for around 18 months and was switched to lexapro 10mg due to weight gain, sexual dysfunction and fatigue. Lexapro was a little better but I really didn’t feel like it was doing much apart from keeping the weight up and the motivation down. I am 6’2 and was always skinny, I never could bulk up. Paxil took me from 78kg and healthy to 100kg and always sweaty in around 12 months. I tried a few times to simply stop the meds but had no idea about withdrawal or tapering and always ended up reinstating due to awful side effects (rage, crying spells etc). The drs always said thats just how you are off the meds...... keep taking them for the rest of your life. They also upped my dosage a few times but I quickly went back to 10mg. In 2017 I felt lexapro wasn’t being effective so the dr straight swapped me to Valdoxan for a few weeks and I felt awful. They then straight swapped me to Prozac and around 4 days into taking that I woke in the middle of the night to terrible ringing in my ears. This was my first introduction to tinnitus. I freaked out and asked to be put back on lexapro. I reinstated at 10mg again and everything calmed down after about 7-8 weeks of hell. The tinnitus that was in both ears and the middle of my head reduced to a tiny amount only in my left ear. I now know this was likely my last chance at reinstatement working for me..... more on that soon. So another few years went past and the side effects of weight gain, heat intolerance, sexual dysfunction and the general feeling of “blah” were just too much for me to handle. I began a taper in January of 2019 and went from 10mg to 7.5mg for 4 weeks. I then went to 5mg for 4 weeks and finally 2.5mg for 4 weeks. I felt okay during the taper, my tinnitus was a little bit louder but not enough to bother me, I was more irritable and I had brain zaps. The real “fun” began around 12 weeks after the taper off the medication...... I had a panic attack and fell into one of the episodes that put me on meds in the first place. These were purely anxiety driven and I never felt depressed. I’ve had them since about 13 years of age and I always recovered from them and they lasted from 1 to 3 months usually. They would encompass intrusive thoughts, shakes and shivers, anxiety and panic only. So I decided to jump straight back on the lexapro 10mg thinking all these drs are right and I’m doomed to be on meds for the rest of my life. But something happened that didn’t happen before..... they didn’t work. After a few weeks I felt worse and my ears started to really scream, I had awful insomnia and a really bad eczema rash appeared on my chest and legs. I now know this as a severe reaction to the meds after too fast a taper and too fast of a reinstatement. If I had not jumped straight back on the meds I likely would have had to deal with wd symptoms only and not so many physical ones as well. So after 6 weeks of hell my dr upped my dose to 20mg and I waited another 5 weeks. That didn’t work either, just got worse. My dr referred me to a psychiatrist at this point and things got really bad. He upped my dose to 40mg lexapro, I stuck this out for another 5-6 weeks and it made me no better, actually worse. He then said ssri’s don’t seem to work for you now so let’s try Effexor. We cross tapered that with the lexapro over only a two week period and then all the way to 150mg of Effexor in only 3 weeks. I was desperate and wanted the pain and suffering to just stop. I did consider suicide a lot during this period and I had never been like this before when taking medication. My beautiful partner kept me here with her love and grace. I stuck with the Effexor for 7 weeks and it was just hell, dizziness, insomnia and mini seizure type things were a daily occurrence. I was couch bound and I still had tinnitus screaming away every day. He wanted to up the dose more but by this stage I knew that my body was not accepting any of these meds, I even said to him I think I am having a reaction to these meds. His answer was always that they just make you feel worse before better and that we can keep upping the dose...... That was the last time I saw him, I went back to my GP and asked to try Zoloft in a last ditch attempt to gain some stability and sanity. She cross tapered me to Zoloft and it seemed to calm things down a tiny bit but I was still so, so sick. I made it up to 100mg and was on Zoloft for 3 months before massive amounts of diarrhoea hit me (colitis) plus I was still struggling with SI, tinnitus and now bad depression for the first time in my life. All the fun stuff that comes along with bad reactions to these meds. My Dr CT’d me off the Zoloft and started me on Remeron 30mg..... this one was ok for my sleep issues but made me irritable as hell and didn’t have any effect on the SI, depression and tinnitus. I lasted 6 weeks on it before breaking down again and seeing the Dr. She mentioned Paxil...... like I said, I was desperate and since it worked 10 years ago maybe it would pull me out of this living hell I was in. Since the first episode after WD in June of 2019 and the living hell my life has been, I started Paxil 20mg in April 2020..... this lasted all of 12 weeks and I CT’d the Paxil in July 2020 due to all the above still happening. I happened to come across the SA website in June this year After desperately searching for answers. I’ve read and learnt a lot from everyone and now understand what has happened to me the last 12 months. How I should have tapered waaayyyy slower, how I should have reinstated waaayyy slower and how screwed up our medical system and the makers of these drugs are. I have been med free for 9 weeks and even though I still have loud tinnitus, depression and a host of other Awful symptoms, I have improved more then any time I was on meds. I’m bloody scared of what’s ahead but I will NEVER touch another psych med again in my life. I assume reinstatement is beyond my body now after what it has endured. I hope to be able to vent a little here on my bad days and keep reading the encouraging stories of success whilst pushing on with my life and the healing process. Thanks for taking the time to read my book.... 😂 And thanks to the creators of such a great site.

Hi, ive known about this site for awhile. But this is my first post. A breif history about myself. I struggled with opiate addiction and drug/alcohol addiction in my late teens and early twenties. When I got sober, I started to get panic attacks. And was put onto paxil. Ive been alcohol and drug free for almost 11 years (aside from antidepressants, ect) After 7 years of working, it pooped out. And i was left with symptoms that I had never had previously. There is a detailed breakdown in my signature, regarding my dosages, and taper. Upon my recent drops, mainly once I got under 1.25 mg, I expierenced strange withdrawl symptoms. Feelings of dissociation, occasional waves of anxiety. But these generally reside after a few weeks. Previously, Ive only had one migraine in my life before my taper. Interestingly, ive began to have frequent confusional migraines following a drop. It starts with pain behind one of my eyes, coupled with an inability to see out of one eye. Or, distorted vision. This transitions into extreme sensitivity to light and sound. And, not always, but most times, a pounding headache. Also, familiar names and people, I sometimes do not recognize during this period. This period lasts about 4 hours. I know this is all from my abilify taper. The reason I am writing now, is because today is day 1, on 0mg abilify. I take Viva Naturals Omega 3 fish oil (1400mg EPA | 480mg DHA) and Pure Encapsulations Magnesium Citrate 150mg I occasionally take L-Theanine 200mg for anxiety, unsure if it helps or not. If the panic returns with a vengeance, i do have .25mg xanax I can take. But I have not needed to take it, and borderline refrain from doing so. Most of my original symptoms are gone. And I feel that my diet of 0 processed foods, heavy protein//fat from animal products, limited carbs, usually under 150grams a day, and only 40mg of caffeine in the morning have cured my original panic disorder. I am 6'0, 172 lbs, I excercise extensively every day. Any advice, suggestions for possible supplementation, or what to expect from jumping off of abilify at .08mg would be appreciated. Thank you, and I pray that God continues to bless.

Hi there, I would appreciate it advice on this please. I was on Wellbutrin 300 mg and Lexapro 10 mg was tapered by a company and I was off of all medication in a month. It seemed like there wonder supplements were supposed to help me thus justifying a Fast taper. after being off the medication‘s for two weeks I went back on one quarter dose of Wellbutrin and then taper down from there. I gradually tapered off that over a couple of months and then the withdrawals got even more horrific once I was off of everything. Off of everything for two months I reinstated Lexapro at 1.25 mg. I went to see a functional medicine doctor and she put me on hormones . I’m on progesterone and oestrogen patch. apparently going off of anti-depressants reeked havoc on my hormones. I cannot work I cannot participate in any of the sports I was involved in. I’m basically a useless lump and I spend most of my day In bed. Should I increase my Lexapro a little bit more? Not really sure what to do at this point. Thank you.

this may be long but its a complete overview of how psych drugs have destroyed my life(hopefully temporarily) I was put on zoloft at 14 for depression and severe OCD. the effects were actually extremely therapeutic and healing. I havent had any compulsions since( 6 years ago). so I do not regret going on it looking back, but i had no idea i was going destined to go down the rabbit hole of psychotropic meds. zoloft made me develop a duodenal ulcer and berets esophagus which made me feel nauseas all the time, thankfully nexium seemed to fix it and I haven't had gastrointestinal problems since. fast forward 3 years after i moved away to start my first year of college. amongst the workloads and new experiences i accidentally cold turkeyed my meds and decided to stay off. I slowly started to experience depression which seemed managable until i began to feel the anxiety creep back in. it got to the point where i was freaked out enough that my OCD would return that went to my psychiatrist, he thought the logical thing to do was to be put back on the zoloft but i was not keen on that idea because of my fear of furthering my gastro problems in starting the medication back up. I was also tired of feeling exhausted all the time, so he suggested an SSNRI and put me on wellbutrin. i only managed a couple weeks on it i believe as it aggrivated my anxiety, so he took me off and put me on effexor. the effexor worked pretty well for me as i increased my doses. i believe i was on 225 mg. after my freshman year i moved back home because i had made changes to my degree path that the university i was attending couldn't fulfill. I again began taking my meds sporadically and feeling the effects of it, some brain zaps, slight change in though process, anxiety and pretty bad depression. i eventually cold turkeyed the effexor(idiotic) and felt the depression worsen by the weeks. thankfully i was at home where i could be as upset and weird as i needed to be thanks to the worlds most understanding mother( dealt with two of her siblings' bipolar disorder). as i waited for my appointment with a new psychiatrist in my home town, things got to the point where i was ready to take any medication in order to feel better, so i went into my sessions with my new psychiatrist with a completely open yet naive perspective about meds, considering it was the effexor that that screwed me up. he immediately pointed out the other doctors mistake in changing drug classes too quickly. so he decided i should stick with the ssri's. I was hesitant because i thought i was so messed up i was beyond that. boy was i wrong. he put me on lexapro and said it was one of the more heavy duty ssri's. i began taking the medication and felt a slow leveling of my mood as i worked up to 20mg( 3 years ago). however, i was not satisfied with my progress after about a month, so he decided that adding abilify would help things. after taking one abilify pill i would never underestimate the power of psych meds again. I took the abilify at night and went to bed but the abilify would not let me sleep a wink. everytime i would doze off i would jerk awake as if i had a nightmare. there was also a slight feeling of restlessness and anxiety. it was torture but thankfully only lasted that night as i never took a second pill. at this point i figured that the lexapro was enough and it was for about 2 years as my well being kept increasing and i felt completely in control of my emotions. at the time i had bad cystic acne and wanted to go on accutane as a last resort. my psychiatrist approved despite my worries of the potential psychological effects, he thought the lexapro was a good enough safety net. so i went on a 7 month cycle of accutane and developed no psychological issues. however i did feel a dulling to my mental processing nothing too extreme but something i was aware of. I thought it was without a doubt the accutane because at the time i was sold on the effectiveness and benefits of psych meds. 4 months after stopping the accutane i decided to taper down to 10mg, and i did as my doctor instructed, but as we all know now, standard medical protocol for tapering off meds is pretty inaccurate. i started noticing diffuse pain in my body. i thought i was just working out too hard, as i exercised and lifted weights 6 days a week. but the pain progressed to a point where my workouts had to be compromised and my muscle movement became slightly rigid and my connective tissue was snapping and popping, so i eventually went to the doctor. i was referred to a rheumatologist who did a full work up and found no signs of inflammation. which was both relieving but also unsettling because the nonspecific diagnosis of fibromyalgia was not good enough for me. I was also told that i may or may not be developing an autoimmune disease which scared the **** out of me( ha if only i knew how much worse things were going to get). the popping and snapping made me believe i was developing rheumatoid arthritis. the fear drove me to an alternative and proactive approach to healing. I began eating vegan, then paleo/anti inflammatory. the diet was difficult and made me lose a lot of muscle mass. but i kept on it until i was invited to a friends 21st birthday party in vegas. during that weekend i threw away all dietary restrictions all at once and payed for it. the very first night of heavy drinking exacerbated all of my symptoms and added a neurological flavor to it; i began to experience weakness and tremors.this occured eveyrtime i drank in the future. i didnt want to miss out so i powered through it. I managed to come back and continue my diet temporarily before i moved for school again. fall of 2014, I moved to SF for school and was so excited about the possibilities awaiting me in the city. i was still on 10 mg of lexapro at the time and felt mentally sound accept for a and clear increase in brain fog which i thought was related to whatever mysterious illness was brewing in me. still, i never thought to attribute it to the lexapro because in my mind, there was no way an antidepressant could manifest such physical symptoms but I weaned off the 10 down to 5 over a couple weeks to be sure. my time in SF only lasted 2 months as the symptoms progressed and I fell more ill. I began experiencing reccuring fevers of 104 and missed a lot of class. the health center doctors there swore is was just a bad virus. but i wasnt getting better and I began to notice twitches in my muscles at rest. I missed so much class, i had to come back home and get my health back in line. the possibilities were extremely distressing. i was reffered to an infectious disease specialist who believed i might have contracted HIV or Lyme disease. after some blood tests, he ruled out HIV but wanted to be absolutely sure it wasnt lyme or some other infection he might have missed. he decided a spinal tap would be the best way to confirm. it made complete sense that i would have lyme disease since my symptoms matched the criteria completely however the results were negative. the spinal tap procedure was pretty much painless, but the spinal headache and back pain drove me to pop Vicodin like dr. house. it would only subside when i was completely flat. this lasted a little over a week. the hole in my spine was leaking so much that i temporarily lost my hearing while visiting my brother in chico. i woke up and my right ear was not picking up anything and the headache had worsened. I informed my mother and we drove to the ER. after waiting 5 hours in the waiting room a nurse took us back to a hallway gurney. I'll never forget this nurses name because of what she put me through. my options were an emergency blood patch, or fluids and pain medication. I went with the latter because i was done with needles going into my back. the nurse hooked me up to an iv and told me the drug cocktail she was going to give me was a non narcotic combination of muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories, and antiemetics. after all the vicodin i was done with narcotics so I agreed to the cocktails administration. even now as i write this I get an overwhelming feeling of regret. the cocktail contained, benadryl, toradol, and compazine. little did i know that compazine was first generation antipsychotic. I immediately felt the effects. horrid akathisia radiating from my chest, agitation, terror, anxiety, increased twitching, and instantly put into a state of depersonalization where i became unable to think with any clarity. I felt as though i needed to run up and down the hospital hallways but i was too terrified to even speak to my mother and the benadryl was making my body weak and drowsy. the attending came back and asked how i was feeling, I wanted to get the hell out of there so i told them better. after i was discharged we drove back to my brother's place where i unsuccessfully tried to sleep off the meds. I woke the next day still feeling high as i called it at the time. after we came back home I had a panic attack over not being able to unwind to sleep. I just couldn't relax and sit still. so i took more benadryl which did nothing and i researched other people's experiences with compazine. this was both a mistake and a tool as i found out about my experiencing akathisia and depersonalization. i kept waiting for the drugs to wear off but weeks went by and there was not change. I went back to my psychiatrist and he said that the compazine would eventually work its way out of my system. its been 2 months since the IV compazine and 3 months since i weaned off the lexapro and things have only gotten worse. i still felt mentally sound after i came of the lexapro despite the physical symptoms everything changed when i was given the compazine. everyday now is a struggle. I cannot be a functioning member of society in this state, my sleep has now become affected, it feels like im in an initial state of sleep and staring at my eyelids. im constantly uncomfortable and few things are helping me cope. this experience has taught me about the true harm of psychotropics. I wouldve never thought the lexapro was actually causing my lyme disease symptoms. my question is, has anyone experienced a recovery from compazine and or lexapro or acute drug induced akathisia and depersonalization??? since drugs got me here in the first place i plan to ride things out as long as i can on my own, are there any supplements worth taking to help ease or heal me? this really is what hell on earth feels like. if you read all of my story, thanks for your interest.

Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!

Hi All, Firstly thanks for the excellent site and taking the time to review my post. History is long, so in the interest of time, 20 yrs on SSRI's (i've tried virtually all but had most luck with prozac and lexapro) with a 4 month bout of Remeron (awful w/d not helped by cross taper) and benzo's on/off for 8 years or so. Benzo: I've successfully switched from .5mg of clonazepam/day to 10mg valium and i'm now at 2mg per day. A bit more about this below. SSRI: Was on 20 mg for celexa for the last several months but completely zombified so decided it's finally time to be done with this sh1t I dropped relatively quickly per docs orders with really no impact down to 5mg celexa completely stopping the celexa and valium on May 1. Started 10 mg prozac only May 1, by May 4 really awful DR with anxiety, inability to focus, sleeplesness, headaches. Reinstated 1-2 mg valium which helped a little bit. Yesterday i tested the waters and dropped the prozac down to 5 mg to see if agitation was from that which resulted in bad anxiety, chills,and shaking. Took the other 5 g prozac and an additional 1mg valium which helped a bit. Today slightly better back at 10mg prozac and 2mg valium in the morning. I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow and really don't know what to do and not sure i trust his opinion frankly but do believe he will be fine with what i recommend. I consider these the following my options: 1.) Reinstate celexa at last dose (5mg?), drop prozac entirely after a week or 2, and keep valium, then micro taper off at 10% per 3 weeks or so. 2.) Hold steady on prozac and valium for awhile (how long?) then micro taper 3.) Something else? Any thoughts are much appreciated and i apologize for any incoherence in this post but just got back from work trip and wanted to get this out there for the educated folks to review asap. Many thanks for any input and your time!!! methuselah