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Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Frogie: W/D from Xanax am new here as you can see. I need help!! I'm hoping someone can help me get off 10 mg Lexapro. Every time I try to drop to even 9mg, I end up sick to my stomach. I go back up to 10mg and am still sick to my stomach. I have no other symptoms. In my profile is all my information, I don't know how to get it to the bottom of this page. I'm not very good on the computer. Sorry

Hi there! Today is the 13th day of the rest of my life! I am 27 years old and have been on 20mg escitalopram for 5 years but still cant spell it ! I just got introduced to the existential crisis that is learning that SSRIs have almost no proven efficacy and are extremely hard to withdraw from . Neat! I've been wanting to stop my meds for the last 4 years, tried twice but each time the doctors told me to quit basically CT and I had to reinstate my original dose due to withdrawal after 1 week at the lower dose. The second time I tried to supplement my tapering with mushrooms (chaga, lions mane and psylocibin) but it didn't help. I would say my withdrawal symptoms both times were 'mild' and I was luckily able to feel back to normal a few days after reinstating my original dose. Now I am tapering much slower, following the recommened 10% drop. I got a compounding pharmacy to make me a 1mg/ml suspension of escitalopram. I have been on 18mg escitalopram (15mg via pill and 3mg liquid) for almost 2 weeks now and have had no withdrawal symptoms!!!!!!!! Thank you to everyone who developed and shared this method. Thank you so so much. I thought I would be on these meds for the rest of my life after my last attempt to withdraw. Like many here, I have been doing a lot of my own research now before I started to taper again. So far I have read: Anatomy of an Epidemic-Robert Whitaker Mind Fixers-Anne Harrington The Antidepressant Solution-Joseph Glenmullen Currently reading: The Emperor's New Drugs-Irving Kirsch The Myth of the Chemical Cure-Joanna Moncrieff QUESTION: I am going to go the full month at 18mg before dropping again. My question tho is that since I have not had withdrawal symptoms with a 10% drop (so far, 2 weeks in, hoping this will stay true!) is it possible for me to try to drop a little bit more next month, say 15%? In the past when doctors dropped me 50%, I felt off but not terrible, and was able to go back to baseline of feeling fine after reinstating my previous dose. Another question is that if I feel no withdrawal now after 2 weeks at lower dose, does this bode well for that to remain to be the case?

Hello everybody my names Rico, I’m currently going through severe withdraw from lexapro, almost identical to what the founder of this page whent through, to the point I’m so hypersensitive to everything including vitamins I can’t even take caffeine or I will have intrusive thoughts for days and wake up with anxiety or to the point where I could take 1 small shot or sip of alcohol and have headaches for days, my tolerance to everything is insanely low, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on guys my brain feels like scrambled eggs and I’m in constant pain mentally is anyone else going through something similar and has anyone else here had success with curing this?

I have been on the complete cancellation of xanaks for 6.5 months, and my psychological symptoms are driving me crazy, I restored taking cipralex 4 months ago at a dose of 20mg. Before that, I took it for 6 years at a dose of 10 mg. He helped me, I lived a full life, then I also took xanaks, on average 0.5 mg per day for sleep. Now I feel like a soulless person, I have completely no emotions, there is a slight fear, slight anger due to hopelessness, it seems to me that I am doomed, male libido has decreased very much, + anxiety at times. Sometimes my condition improves, there were 4 days of a great window, I even thought I was recovering 100%. I was wrong. Windows and waves appear and disappear in a cycle that is incomprehensible to me, this also applies to increased depression and anxiety, etc. I am very interested in whether a smaller dose of AD can work better in my condition? By partially returning emotions? Today I decided to lower the dose from 20 mg to 18 mg. To understand what will change. I am very concerned about this topic. I'm not completely ready. To leave cipralex until I recover from benzo, but due to the fact that my libido is so much depressed, as well as motivation for life, I do not see a future, anhedonia drives me crazy. Now I have more or less normal sleep from 6-8 hours. I wouldn't want to lose him. But due to the lack of libido, it seems to me that my depression is getting worse, although sometimes everything more or less returns and I feel normal, about 70%. While I'm setting the task, reduce the dose of cipralex to 10mg. And see how I'll feel. Do you think this is possible? Without serious consequences. I've been through a lot during these 6.5 months that I want a little peace. I will be very grateful for your support and advice. Thanks. Sorry, I do not know English, and I have to translate the text through a translator, I apologize for the mistakes.

Hello, I have been on Lexapro for almost 19 years—only off one year was I was pregnant with my firstborn. After 10 years of being on Lexapro (10mg), after dealing with my mother’s death and a newborn baby, I had developed insomnia and anxiety and was put on Trazodone (100 mg) and then later klonopin .5mg taken as needed. Been taking Trazodone for about 8 years now and klonopin on and off for 5. in January of this year after following my doctor’s advice, I tapered lexapro over the course of 6 weeks. Well, obviously it was too quick and hell broke loose shortly after I March. Along with crippling anxiety, panic, crying spells, body jolts, depression ,depersonalization, etc., my biggest and most prominent symptom has been insomnia. Most of the week I sleep a broken 1-4 hours. If I’m lucky, one night a week I will crash and sleep for 8-9 hours. I take klonopin only twice a week max if I hadn’t slept in days and I’m getting in a really bad place (I know this is not optimal, but I feel I’m out of options.) I must note that I also stopped taking my birth control pills at this time, as well and not sure if lack of hormone are also contributing to insomnia. I had reinstated at 2.5 at the end of March, and thought I was feeling okay but May even though my sleep was still off, so foolishly I dropped to 2.2mg. When this happened, I lost all control and had to go back up to 2.4 after 6 weeks of hell and no signs of stabilization. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve been at 2.4 and my sleep is as bad as ever. I read horror stories about people’s sleep never returning or it taking years. I’ve already been dealing with this for 6 months. I have tried everything from magnesium to melatonin to glycine to weighted blankets and black out curtains—nothing works. Am I doomed to never sleep again? Every area of my life has been affected by this…my marriage, my children, friends, work, etc. I feel like I’m really losing myself and feeling pretty hopeless.

Hi all, Our 23 year old son (1/2 Asian) has autism and was thought to be profoundly mentally retarded but learned how to communicate by pointing at letters on a board and it seems it's more a motor planning issue because he's actually fairly "normal" inside. In fact one of the first things he requested to do was have a beer w his friends. So the SECOND thing he wanted to do was try an SSRI becasue anxiety and aggression and this weird "stim" (tic) he has where he walks backwards a few steps them he's out then walks forward again + apparently Temple Grandin has an extra large amygdala + said SSRIs saved her life. So his internist put him on 5 mg Lexapro. He didn't feel anything and still wanted to do thinkgs like have a beer so he decided to go off them--his Dr. said it was such a small dose and he'd only beenon it 10 days so just stop. Well--he almost immediately had a huge psychotic break where he destroyed property and also tried to push my husband out a window and had some crazy self injury (like he re-chipped a tooth we'd JUST had fixed) and because he could communicate (when we could get near him) he had tons of suicidal ideation. He thought we should hospitalize him because he was afraid he was going to hurt dad--he had these weird fantasies/urges that he HAD to see him bleeding (!!!) It also messed up his gut because he was vomiting all the time, said his stomach hurt. Also had brain zaps. We lived through all this and after 2 years he is still not back to where he was in fact he now has really bad OCD--like he hurt his hand trying to open a car door that was locked, he broke a finger (different hand) while having a meltdown. He's so mad this has happened to him and it's a little depressing to feel like his brain his broken. We have an excellent neurologist who has been helping us both with beta blockers and natural supplements. E.g., high dose cod liver oil helped the brain zaps a lot (he's done with those). But we want to help him heal and at least get back to baseline. I think the autistic kids are just so sensitive! ------------------------ June 2022 started Lexapro 5 mg for 10 days, felt noting Inadvertently stopped CT after 10 days because doctor told us to total nighmare since July 2023 started Naltrexone 50 mg and pronanolol bid RXed by his neurologist is helping the aggression

Hello all, My name is Alex and I was prescribed 1/2 x 10mg Escitalopram (Cipralex), 0.5 x Clonazepam (Rivotril aka Klonopin) for about 5 months now, for mostly anxiety. After already 2 months I hit tolerance / dependence with Clonazepam and from that point, for the little I knew, I should have give up on it, but my psychiatrist pushed it even more from 3/4 to 1 (0.5 Clonazepam). Clonazepam is the "horror" benzo of them all, but I did not knew back then and would have been fantastic if I removed it since month 2, instead of keep it in 3 more months. Escitalopram did not help me either, as if it had did, I would not been feeling worse after 5 months, than I was in the first place before taking the medicine. I really I very sad of my decision to actually go to the psychiatrist in the first place, but I did now knew much then. As I know now, the symptoms that I had then where really easy compared to the ones I have now (after 5 months of "treatment"). But that is what usually people do, driven by fear, instead of actually be a little realist and powerful and first, at least, document yourself of what you are doing in the first place. I have found At last a life book, by Paul David and I can say it's a life saver for the anxiety suffering people out there, but I just found it 3 weeks ago, after that I decided to start tapper the benzo. All this being said I am now on this schedule of benzo withdrawal attached in the picture. Unfortunately I got to 0.3 from 0.5 in 3 weeks instead of 8 and I feel quite a lot of withdrawal symptoms ( mild depression, mild / intermediate anxiety (but much longer than before), mild headaches, dizziness, mild blurred vision. I thought as I was just 5 months on these 2 drugs would make it to a fast withdrawal, now I know it is not the case and I need to listen to my body. Will hold benzo for now at 0.3 to stabilize. The big question is : Should I start the Escitalopram taper as well ? I read a lot already on the forum and I see usually people take it 1 by 1. Of course I asked a psychiatrist of tapering both at the same time and she said if I do it slow it's ok as I did not took them for long time and the doze is quite small. But I know you guys know better and would be much appreciated if you give me a hint here. So a small taper from the 1/2 x 10 mg Escitalopram , like 10-20% each month at the same time with the benzo taper would make sense ? Of course I will try to listen to my body / brain response, but I am unsure how much time will be needed to feel the withdrawal from Escitalopram, from Clonazepam is easy, in 2-3 days you feel the "response" of the cut, because of the 18-50 hours lifetime of it. Cheers !

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and am glad to have found it. Twelve years ago when I was 14 years old I was put onto Cipralex 20 mg once a day. I have been on that medication since until last month when I officially tapered off and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin XL 150 mg once a day. It has not been until recently that I’ve read about lasting permanent effects on personality, mood, and behaviour from being on antidepressants for so long. Especially for someone such as myself who was on it from 14 years old to 26 years old while my brain was developing. I am beyond concerned with what this may have done to me and feel helpless and unsure of what to do or where to go from here. I’m not even sure where to begin to look on this site. I have felt “monotone,” blank and emotionless for the past probably 4-5 years, which was one of the reasons I wanted to discontinue Cipralex. It’s like I can no longer feel any range of emotion. I cannot remember the last time I felt genuinely happy or genuinely sad. I used to be so energetic, bubbly, outgoing, and silly, I could light up a room and now it’s like that part of myself is gone—extinguished or muffled. I can feel nothing other than “flat” every single day. There are no ups or downs, so it’s not just anhedonia but I can’t feel sadness or anger either. I believe this is sometimes called emotional blunting? I’m wondering if this will ever go away and if I will ever feel like I did when I was 14-18 again. This emotional numbness feels like a death sentence. When I research online it says emotional blunting should be reversed once off of SSRIs but I am concerned maybe that will not be the case for me seeing as though I was on the medication for 10+ years and during critical brain development. I guess I can feel some sadness because thinking about being emotionally blunted forever makes me want to cry. I long to feel strongly about anything again. I would love to hear other’s stories about coming off of Cipralex/Lexapro/Escitalopram after 10+ years during peak developmental brain years and their experiences with managing this emotional numbness and if any sense of normalcy ever returned to them. Ideally I would like to eventually come off of Wellbutrin too. After being on Cipralex for so long and experiencing the side effects I had while on it, I’m concerned about being on any antidepressants now.

Hi, I’ve so desperately been awaiting the acceptance of new members. As my title states, I have accidentally kindled myself and am looking for support. I had been on Lexapro 10mg from Sept 2013 - Jan 2023. I was put on it to help my dysautonomia/POTS. It helped for a long time, but in the later years I would have break through “episodes”. Now that I know more about SSRIs from this site, I’m not sure if they were POTS related or breakthrough anxiety from getting to tolerance on the Lexapro. In 2022 I started feeling depression, which was something I had never experienced prior to being on Lexapro. I had always experienced more anxiety. I was also not as loving as I thought I should be towards my kids, so I made the decision to wean myself off in Jan 2023. I thought I had done adequate research and decided on a slow taper that lasted until April 2023, but I now know after finding this site that was still way too quick. I didn’t seem to have any immediate withdrawal symptoms. I do remember the occasional brain zap, not but they would subside before I continued to lower my dose, so I thought I was being careful. I rocked along, managing my waves of anxiety and irritability until July 2023 when the insomnia hit. At the time I was concerned I had other issues going on and didn’t realize it could be protracted withdrawal. When my old go-to’s of magnesium and ashwagandha weren’t working, and were in fact causing the opposite reaction I needed, I had no idea that the Lexapro withdrawal could be causing hypersensitivity. I worked with a naturopath (I have severe trust issues with western medicine, although I’m an RN) to try and correct any underlying problems. She suggested several supplements, which I tried. Some would work for a while and then I would become hypertensive to them or have paradoxical reactions. On Nov. 7th I accepted a full time position at the previous job I had been at and hated due to how stressful it was. The next day I was having a full on meltdown and decided I needed to get back on my Lexapro. I stupidly went to an urgent care and asked for my previous 10mg dose and they gladly gave it to me since I had tolerated it well before. On Nov. 8th I took my first dose before bed (as that’s when I used to take it) and woke up with an intense panic attack. My anxiety had intensified 10 fold the next day and I had akathisia. I decreased to 5mg for the next 3 days thinking it was too much for my system, but it was still too much for my fragile nervous system. It sent my POTS into an awful flare. I couldn’t eat without my heart rate spiking. I stopped it on Nov 12th. In those 4 days I went to a mental health nurse practitioner and she gave me vistaril for the insomnia and Xanax 0.5mg for break through panic. She also wanted to swap me to Paxil, but I was too afraid to try another SSRI. Thank God for the intuition not to try it. I took the vistaril but it made me too groggy the next day and didn’t really help with sleep. I started taking the Xanax at bedtime and it would give me about a 4 hour window of sleep. I took about 20-25 of those before I stopped and threw them away. My health anxiety was back with a vengeance. I went to a new primary doctor on Dec. 5th. He ran a whole bunch of labs that all came back normal and convinced me I really needed to be on the Lexapro. I agreed to try it back at an even lower dose and using the previous manufacture I had used in the past (part of me was convinced I hadn’t tolerated the Lexapro in Nov due to fillers in the pills). I started Lexapro 2.5mg on Dec. 5th around noon. I did ok on it for several days. I was having waves and windows of increased anxiety but was telling myself I just needed to push through it, but on Dec. 10th I determined what I was experiencing was more than just side affects. I was having an adverse reaction - increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, dilated pupils, severe anxiety, weakness. I could barely get off the couch that day. I had to go to my son’s Christmas program that night and almost couldn’t drive. I did, but probably shouldn’t have. The following day my husband and I had a long discussion and decided I needed to stop it. My last dose was on Dec. 10th. On December 12th my heart rate was in the 130s walking around (not sure if that was my POTS flare or withdrawal) and I went to see my cardiologist and was put on propranolol 20mg. Since then I’ve been in hell. My vision is blurry and I’m super sensitive to brightness. I’m dizzy most of the day. I’ve got brain fog and my brain literally hurts when trying to think and multitask. I lost about 15lbs in the time I started the Lexapro back in Nov until now due to nausea and lack of appetite. I’ve started a low histamine diet because my histamine levels are out of control and are making the anxiety worse. Sleep is not as bad as it has been, but it’s still not normal. I wake about every 1.5hrs through the night and don’t feel rested in the morning. I get severe DR/DP sometimes and it scares me to death. I’m supposed to start a new job tomorrow. During all of this I was supposed to work out a notice at my old job, but after calling in for a week I just told them I wouldn’t be able to. I’ve been off work for 3 weeks. I have to young children to care for. I’m just so scared. I don’t know what is withdrawal or what is my POTS flare anymore. I’m supposed to follow up with a dysautonomia specialist near me but I’m afraid they’ll just want to put me on more meds and my nervous system is already super sensitive. Has anyone had a similar story to mine? I haven’t come across any yet on here. I do know I’ve slowly been getting better since I stopped, so I know being off the Lexapro is the answer, but I still struggle with severe waves multiple times a day. If it weren’t for my supportive husband and the grace of God, I don’t know where I’d be. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Any advice or words of wisdom would be much appreciated.

Starting Dosage: 20mg Escitalopram & 300mg Bupropion Background: I started escitalopram when I was 30 years old. A added bupropion at 35 years old. I've been on both daily for the past 15 years. I started to taper Bupropion from 300mg to 150mg 2 months ago. Then for the past three weeks I've been halving a 150mg tablet for a 75mg dose daily. Questions: I heard Bupropion would be the easiest to stop, but I definitely felt a change in my mood when I dropped the dose. Since bupropion is an extended release tablet, I was reluctant to cut the tablet, but my Psychiatrist told me it was fine for tapering. I have a few questions: Is it really ok to cut the bupropion extended release tablets? Is bupropion usually easier to stop? I'm really discouraged by the change in my mood. When does it get better? How can I use this site for encouragement and advice? It's so extensive and detailed, I struggle to use the site. I get overwhelmed. Josh - from Seattle, living in Mexico

Hello! I am 34 year old female from the US and I have been taking escitalopram (Lexapro) for 1 year and 2 months for depression and anxiety. This is the only drug I am prescribed, the only drug I am on, and I don't use alcohol or other drugs. From 25-31 or 32 I was a pretty heavy drinker. I got on Lexapro at 33 (Sept 2022) due to severe anxiety and depression. I recently signed up for health insurance, but at the time of Lexapro being prescribed (10 mg), I didn't have any and I just signed up for an app called K health that a doctor prescribes you meds through a chat ( I know right). I felt in the first few months of taking Lexapro that it helped. The anxiety was completely gone, the depression was mostly gone and it was pretty much a miracle, I was really happy. Then I realized after being on 10 mg for a while its a really large dose and makes me hyper and manic ,and needing to do something all the time, which really wasn't a terrible thing, but that isn't how I want to be. I was also overly confident and mean to other people in my life. I couldn't really settle down. So after my first few months on 10 mg I reduced the dose without telling the doctor, I tried for 7.5mg. This was probably December of 2022 At this time, I was biting off the pills into what I thought was 7.5mg. So I took this for a bit and it wasn't working for me so I upped the dose while biting off the pills into what I thought was 8.5 or 9 mg. At the time I was stupid and didn't know how inaccurate I was being. When I was taking "8.5 or 9 mg" I had some pretty good days, but also, a lot things were going right in life at the time. After a while of this, I felt too hyper and manic and restless and I knew I needed to cut back (July 2023). I got a scale and it turned out I was taking much more than what I thought I was taking. I was actually taking about 10 mg, what I was prescribed. In July I reduced to 7.5, not knowing this is a huge cut and not to do that. Anyways the whole month of July was pure hell, I could hardly get out of bed, hardly do anything but work and lay down after. I work from home too, thank God, or I would have lost my job. But this is really taxing still, when you are weaning off drugs. The worst part is the intrusive thoughts about suicide, not knowing if they are even real thoughts are just self harm OCD, not finding joy in things anymore, getting older and having relationship strain due to how poorly I act on these drugs, whether on the full dose or tapering, I have a short fuse or I can't even hardly function. FYI I eat healthy, I meal prep the whole week on Sundays, I take several vitamins and supplements including the ones I see recommended here, magnesium and fish oil, I jog on the treadmill for 1/2 hour 5 days a week. My AM cortisol is really high according to a lab test I got recently. I also have low (but not severely low)vitamin D but ok Vitamin B12. So in August I upped my dose back to 8.5 mg and felt fine for a little while and I was relieved because I thought I could start a normal taper from there. This is when I found this forum and began reading it almost every day to try and gain knowledge and encouragement. SO this comes up to .113 g on the scale due to fillers in the pills. After I stablized on the .113g, maybe a few weeks or a month, I tried out .110g and later .108 g etc, (8.3mg or so) to see if I could tolerate these reductions and there were SOME good days but they were few and far between and they really only happened when I had proper sleep. Most days I wake up dreading life because my job bores the hell out of me, I have to take lexapro in the morning which makes me hate myself, my intrusive thoughts about suicide and death and people dying come in while I work, all while having a poor short term memory,a short fuse, being inattentive, sluggish and having brain fog. I take forever to get out of bed. After a little while on .108 mg I upped back to .111mg because I can't even handle the slightest reduction. I want to be on a clear cut schedule, but I don't really understand the spreadsheets on here, and I want to talk to a doctor about the liquid form of Lexapro for an easier taper, but my insurance doesn't kick in til January, For now Im still using a scale and cutting up pills every day to make the right dose. I feel like this drug and my intrusive thoughts have completely ruined my life, also I have numb lower legs and feet and I have no clue why. I feel I am in shape and physically well but not mentally well at all and it contributes to my physical health. I need so much sleep its embarrassing, it takes me forever to want to do something, to drag myself to the grocery store, I don't really like eating, cooking, or doing much anymore. I can't go on vacations like I used to, I still force myself to though occasionally, through panic and everything. My family says I am not acting right, random people in public have asked if I am ok so I must look mental or something. Is it me or the drug? I am scared of my thoughts and scared that I can never really come off this. Any help is greatly appreciated.

I went on Lexapro 10mg in October of 2020 after having a severe panic attack (caused by marijuana) that would not leave. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and had constant OCD thoughts of breathing. After waking up the next day with the same feeling, I went to the ER and then my doctor put me on 10mg of Lexapro. Within a few days I felt even more awful, so my dr told me to go to 20mg. Slowly that worked. I can’t remember specifics but the panic attacks finally stopped months and months later. I went to therapy as well and learned some techniques. It worked really well for me for over 2 years. Then one day my sister visited and said I seemed off, almost “too chill” and numb. This opened my eyes to the (lack of) feelings I had and were overlooking. I decided in November 2022 that I would begin to taper and hopefully get off completely. I was able to manage my anxiety now and simply think away panic attacks. The ED and weight gain were HUGE factors in why I ultimately decided I wanted off. This was my taper: 20mg 11/2020 Taper started, 15mg - 11/16/22 10mg - 11/30/22 7.5mg - 1/24/22 5mg - 2/26/22 2.5 mg - 3/12/22 0 mg - 4/9/23 I felt great at 15mg. I was angry a lot though, but it felt good to feel. 10mg I felt fine as well. Around 7.5mg is where I could cry at movies again, but also when anxiety somewhat felt more real, I was in my head a lot about what I should be expecting. Read horror stories online and what not. At 0mg I felt very depressed for a couple of weeks and the depression caused anxiety. It came and went though. However 3 weeks in, my breathing OCD came back and it was very upsetting. No panic, just annoyed at the intrusive thoughts. About 2 months in panic started to show. 2.5 months in I had a couple full panic attacks and I am now every day fighting that general anxious feeling. I’m back to the feelings I had that made me take Lexapro in the first place. EVERY time I get anxious I wonder if I should start Lexapro again. Part of me wonders if I’m just a panic prone/ocd kinda person, and now that the Lexapro is out of my system my symptoms are back, or if this is also withdrawal still. I read online that symptoms get WORSE 3 months out and I am truly terrified and very close to starting Lexapro again if it gets worse than this, despite having made it almost 3 months sober from it.

Servadai's Introduction topic Hey guys! Long time no hear - my signature says I'm 3 years off but this year, on 10th of July I 'celebrated' my 5 years off of AD's. I would change my signature but I don't know how - that being said I'm loving what you did with the site. I'm going to try to write this with a bit of humour, because that is my style, so if you find it a bit 'aggressive' please know this was not my intent, and the sole purpose for writing this is because I care about all of you and empathise deeply with all of you. I know how it feels when your brain feels like it's been replaced with a piece of fried chicken (even though I'm afraid that even a fried chicken is an euphemism). My story short - I cold turkeyed 10 mgs of escitalopram (some of you may know it as Lexapro). My life completely changes shortly after and I entered what was an absolute hell for me (seriously, I'm catholic and that's what my version of hell would look like). Thankfully, I am doing a lot better now and I wanted to share a couple of things I learned along the way. I still suffer from anxiety, as I did before WD, it is worse than it was but it's nowhere near WD nightmare. I am not on any kind of medication and the only supplement I use is Omega3. Here are some of the things, and if I remember something later I will edit or write in the comments. DON'T GOOGLE STUFF. For the love of God, don't do it. If you're new here, there is plenty of sound advice in topic named 'Read this first' and in my opinion that is enough. Now when I say don't google stuff I mean don't google every symptom, every emotion, every fear and thought and overanalyse it. I promise you 99.99999 % of everything you feel and experience in WD is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Imagine your brain as a very stressed person trying to find best solutions and having to run the household (your body)... of course it's going to act wacky. It's not worth stressing it out further by reading into stuff and imagining even worse case scenarios. If you want to google kittens, puppies, babies, watch pretty youtube videos or just listen to calming music be my guest. But DON'T👏 GOOGLE 👏 YOUR 👏 SYMPTOMS 👏 TAKE IT SLOW. Your brain is working so fast your body might try to mimic that. I know my body did, and I still do it sometimes, if I'm not aware. I don't know if this happens to you but when I get stressed I breathe fast, brush my teeth fast, eat fast, comb my hair fast... as if someone put a ticking bomb on all of those things. Try to be more aware and when you notice that, take a deep breath, and start over - gently, slowly. Do everything with great care and gentleness. Your body and brain need it. When you show your brain you're not in a rush, brain will take it slowly too. I know it's a problem in WD - it feels like you have an neverending supply of adrenaline - but hey, baby steps. Try do it for 5 minutes a day. INSOMNIA. This bastard made me really mad. Sleep was the only way I could escape the WD nightmare, but it rarely came. I remember trying to fall asleep for hours, just to wake up at 4 or 5 am. not being able to fall asleep again. When I couldn't sleep, naturally, I thought about how I can't sleep. I worried and worried instead of trying to utilise that time. The best advice given to me was - if you can't fall asleep just chill. Your body will find a way to get energy from that too. Imagine you're on a beach, the sound of waves, the hot sand on your feet, warm sun, smell of salt and pine... you get it. Imagine happy (well..happyish) scenarios - I imagined what will I do after the WD is over and how I'll be able to help and understand someone. Try to occupy your thoughts as much as you can as not to fall in to the 'Oh God why can't I sleep' rabbit hole. NEURO-EMOTIONS. Don't run away from them. Don't be afraid of them. Embrace them. Cry. Scream in your pillow. Jump in utter rage. Aggressively punch the mattress. Write it down and rip the paper. Welcome your fears with open arms. Neuro emotions scared me but now I see them as a way of brain restarting itself. Like pushing random buttons to see what works and you just have to deal with it. It opened a very strong traumas for me again that antidepressants and teenage way of life buried so I had to actually face them and go through them. It was horrible, but maybe necessary? WORK OUT. Aggressive workout in the middle of WD hell? Only if you're absolutely comfortable. Otherwise, I don't recommend it. On the other hand, if you want to stay in bed all day, try to fight that urge. Try to walk at least 5 minutes (even in your small apartment, you don't have to go out), do a half a squat, lift your hands, whatever, just try to be at least little bit active. There's tons of studies that show how exercising improves mental health - there's not much to say here. CREATIVITY. At my worst I really couldn't do anything. TV was too stimulating and loud, my biggest achievement was playing Mahjong on my smartphone for 2 minutes. Everything above that and I would get extremely tired. I didn't smile, sleep, eat, I just wanted to die. Luckily, as soon as I got a bit better I've decided to do anything to not think about what I'm going through even if the bliss lasted for a second. I was baking, gardening, drawing, writing... notice how all of this is with hands. Put everything you got into feeling what you're doing with your hands. Even now when I get stressed I look around me for objects and imagine what kind of texture would they be like if I touched them. DP/DR. There are no words in human language to express how much I hated those feelings. I still do. But I've come a long way. Let's say they were at 100%. Now they're at about 50% when I'm really stressed. 20-30% in normal situations, because I still have an anxiety, and it's just a poopy symptom I have to accept. DR is actually what I'm feeling, DP was problematic, but now I can't remember when I truly had it. They don't occupy my life anymore, and I'm not so afraid of them as I was. My best advice about them would be: Don't be afraid. It feels like the world is falling apart but they're just symptoms of mental disorders and WD. They are absolutely harmless. The best you can do for yourself and your brain is to accept those feelings. Say it out loud: DP/DR I accept you. I know you're just symptoms of my brain working overtime and that's okay. I know my brain is trying its best to protect me and I am grateful for that. I accept you. If this post gives just a bit of hope or brings a bit of comfort to anyone - I'm so glad. I remember rereading the same success stories here over and over again when I was at my worst. They were literally ropes I hold on to. I know what you're going to is hard, but please, please, hold on. Living with this honestly means you're the bravest of the brave. Seriously, everyone here on this forum is one heck of a soldier. You don't even know how strong you are. I was pooping my pants when I was getting into college, I was still in WD... and next year I'm going to finish it. So please, hold on, and live day by day. There are probably more things I would write about, my faith being one of the most important things that helped me (and still does). I might write about it if anyone is interested, but I'm sorry I can only write from my religion's (catholic) perspective. So if anyone is interested let me know. I also run an IG page for catholics dealing with anxiety so if you're interested shoot me a message (I don't want to put it here because I think it would be considered a self-promo). I wanted to open that page for a year now - if you read my post, what was a comforting for me was imagining I could help someone some day who is going through the same stuff as I do. So I finally did it and honestly, it is a nice creative outlet. I have no doubt there will be some future gems from this page that were molded by suffering - Gold is purified by fire. **english is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.

I stopped taking lexapro 5 months ago (was on it for PMDD\ Within the first month I noticed my moods weren't stable. A lot of crying spells. This seemed to clear up quickly but then I started to have digestive issues & food aversions and was diagnosed with GERD. Over the next 2 months the digestive issues worsened and I was unable to eat. I was taking omeprazole 40mg for reflux and it wasn't helping. Tried pantoprazole and also no luck. I ended up having an endoscopy and currently awaiting results. During the 3rd & 4th months post quitting lexapro I began having severe and frequent panic attacks - something I haven't experienced for 10-15 years. At work, in the grocery store, in the car, sitting on a bench at the park, home alone on the couch watching tv. I even called 911 for myself because I didn't know I was having a panic attack and actually thought I was dying. Middle of month 4 into month 5 | have tinnitus so bad it keeps me up at night, even with white noise - never experienced this before. The ringing is so loud and it's 24/7. Sometimes it sounds like dial up internet and sometimes it sounds like just a constant high pitch. Approaching month 6 I don’t sleep well and wake every 1-2 hours. The ringing is still persistent. And the intrusive thoughts of harming myself are becoming unbearable. this is not a relapse. I’ve never been like this. I’m not myself and I’m sure of it. Add a comment GIF

What a Journey it has been... History: Start - 2 months I started Lexapro January 13th of this year due to having anxiety for nearly 10 days strait, it was a gradual build up and more than likely cannabis induced. I was scared, and desperate so decided to take Lexapro even though my wife told me not to. The first dose of only 2.5 milligrams started the nightmare to come. Within 4 hours I had heart palpitations and would break out into a sweat for what felt like no reason at all. I took a total of 4 doses of 2.5mg's until I decided to get off of the medication. Over the next 2 months I lost 20% of my body weight, extreme insomnia, bubble feeling all over my body especially my legs, resting heart rate of 80-110 for what felt like no reason at all (usually 58), massive heart palpitations to the point I could feel my pulse in my feet, Tinnitus, and many other symptoms. I thought my life was over, I was scared to talk to the doctor because she only wanted to give me more drugs. I decided to buckle down and ride it out, and put my faith into God. 3 - 4 Months Were things getting worse? I couldn't tell what was up or down, am I broken? Some days felt better, then a massive wave would swoop in. I did notice that my appetite would come and go in windows and I was able to gain some weight back. Sleep would slowly improve in this span of time however, I had to take Unisom off and on. I would get 2 nights of some type of sleep then one night of insomnia. This is when the sleep zaps started to swing in hard. As soon as I drifted off, I would get hit with what felt like lightning all over my body then go into a sweating fit, then it would follow with fear and strong palpitations. At this point I hadn't found SA so my mind was going wild, I had nothing to ground myself in and simply thought this was my life moving forward. I hard to fight hard not to think suicidal. I would just be up in the middle of the night and look at pictures of my wife and kids from the years past and think I would never feel that type of happy again. But I would pray and He would tell me to not give up, healing was coming 5 - 6 Months This is when I was able to tell myself I was getting better, I would have half days here and there and feel totally normal. In those moments I really told myself to put it into memory (see you are getting better! don't forget this moment). In those moments, when they would come, I started researching online and found this amazing site SA. I would read everything, the bad, the recoveries, the plan of a action, what Windows and Waves were, how to coach your spouse through your recover. I HAD A MAP FORWARD! I got on Magnesium that night, and had the first night of sleep without palpitations! They still came and went in the coming months, but just getting moments without them nearly brought me to tears... This was when I started to really notice improvement. God bless this site, and thank you everyone for sharing your suffering and progress 7 Months - Today Right at the 7 month mark I got a nasty wave, not nearly as bad as the worst days however, I was just getting exhausted of it coming and going. I was ready for the end, but I never gave up. I had a big vacation planned with my little family and really wanted to show them an amazing time, and this wave needed to end before we left in a few days. All I could do was wait and see. The car ride down was so hard, but I never let my family see my suffering, I had to deliver. By the grace of God, once we arrived and we ate dinner, something happened. A weight was lifted off my heart, and I felt a huge shift. I was able to let go and enjoy myself, laugh, play with the kids, smile at my wife while she was cooking dinner, and even enjoy a beer! This marked my big turning point, I wasn't 100% but a big step took place. After vacation I still had little waves here and there, but all manageable. And today I'm happy to be typing this in a great mood and symptom free! My story isn't over, I have more to go, waves will still come but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and had to share my story. Vitamins and Supplements Magnesium (CVS Brand, 400mlg) Taurine 100mg Medication History Lexapro 2.5mlg for 4 days, then Cold Turnkey

I was in Lexapro 10 and 20mg (mostly 10) for 15 years. I was put on it when I was 19 after going through a breakup with my high school girlfriend. Also , I have dealt with minor anxiety issues most of my life and have a family history of anxiety and depression. Everything was going ok until I herniated a disc in Jan 2018. What felt like a nervous breakdown ensued. My GP stopped Lexapro cold turkey and started me on Luvox and this made things worse. I cold turkey quit everything for a couple months and things continued to get worse. My GP then put me on Effexor 150mg and Klonopin 1mg twice daily. Things improved for a while. After 6 months, I decided to taper Klonopin because I had found this site and benzobuddies. I am down to 0.25 mg of Klonopin daily and still on Effexor. I am living a life of waves and windows now. I am a middle school teacher and coach. Thankfully, God has strengthened me enough to continue to work through this WD process.

Hello all! I found your forum and figured I should ask for thoughts regarding my Lexapro withdrawal experience. I’ll post a brief overview paragraph, but if you have time or want to know more, I tried to be as detailed as possible describing my symptoms to see if they sound familiar to anyone here. Short explanation: I took Lexapro for around 2 years, maybe a bit longer. The dose was 10mg, but it’s possible it was a little higher for a short while. I lowered the dose to 5mg at some point in 2014 and was on that dose for a year. I then spent the bulk of a year tapering from 5mg to 0mg. The last dose I took was so small that it was a tiny piece of powder on my finger, which is what I had gotten it down to over time. I am on here because I have been off of the medicine completely for almost four months and still have some odd slight-dizzy/floating feelings sometimes, which typically aren’t very strong or long lasting, but I also have fatigue most days. I sleep very well and get 7-8 hours a night, but feel the need to lay down for a few minutes several times a day. I never had these issues until I started messing with my Lexapro doses. Thats the short story, but I can get more in-depth. Fatigue details: The fatigue used to be so bad a few months ago that I could easily fall asleep within 3 minutes; I would often take a few minute break at work and immediately fall asleep in my car and set a short 6 minute timer and wake up and feel a lot better. I would do that a few times a day especially after work. Now days I don’t instantly fall asleep, but resting my eyes for a few minutes helps. I take a 20 min nap at lunch and a 20 min nap after work and for both of these I fall asleep and jolt awake when the alarm goes off, but feel a lot better. When it happens, I can often feel the tiredness growing in a short period of time, often within an hour or even 15 minutes. The tiredness is usually just to the level of being annoying, but sometimes it becomes so strong that I literally just have to close my eyes at my office desk for awhile. When it’s really bad I notice I even close my eyes for a couple seconds when I am walking or doing simple things. This isn’t like when a driver starts closing their eyes without noticing it; I very purposefully close my eyes just for a second or two to get a vague feeling of minor relief. Usually I feel like my mind is actually still working and I am wanting to stay productive, but my eyes and head just get tired even though the rest of me seems to have energy. Its almost like a synthetic tiredness, as if my water was spiked several times a day without me knowing; it’s very different from a normal tiredness. Often if I am at home I will feel it kick in and just have to drop what I’m doing, lay down and set my timer for 5-15 minutes just to recharge and then get back up and continue what I was doing. Then it might kick in two or three hours later and I’ll have to do the nap/timer session again. Before I go out and do anything, such as meet a friend or go to a movie, I preemptively take a short nap to prepare my body. Also, when I wake up in the morning after a full 7 or 8 hours sleep, I am typically a bit groggy for awhile inevitably. Before I started changing my meds I would often wake up and have energy and used to love my morning time during the weekends. Now mornings aren’t horrible, but they aren’t really much to look forward to. On weekends I often take one of my quick naps within an hour or two after waking up because I get so groggy I just have to lay down. Dizziness details: My dizziness from time to time gets bad enough to become an issue that really bothers me. These periods where it is bad usually only last for a few days, but more often the dizziness is a very minor symptom and just makes me feel a bit “off” for a half hour or so. It’s hard to explain and there are actually several different feelings of dizziness I experience. “Dizziness” isn’t even always the best word, but its the only one that I can think of that fits. Often it is just a vague sense of feeling disconnected and unbalanced. Sometimes when I am showering I do literally feel slightly unbalanced, but it is a very minor feeling and I never *actually* feel like I am loosing my balance. Another feeling is almost like the whole room is spinning, but at such a very, very slow rate that it is just enough to make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Sometimes another feeling happens where I feel slightly cloudy headed and if I turn my head quickly, it takes a second for my brain to readjust. This usually doesn’t last very long, and in fact, most of these dizzy feelings come and go within a half hour and don’t interfere with my life very badly. Oh, and another one is a vague “floating” sense that I sometimes feel when I walk down a hallway, for example. Again, pretty minor, but just enough to make me feel a little off. I should also mention that sometimes the dizziness transitions into tiredness; the dizziness evaporates and I am left feeling like I need to lay down from sudden fatigue. Additional issues: When I first got off Lex completely, I had really sore muscles in my back and shoulder blades within a few days. One of those curved self massage sticks really helped with that. I used to also have a really bad pressure in my head during the tapering process (but went away after a few weeks of stopping lex) and the massage stick also relieved a lot of that head pressure that I used to get. I no longer have the tension in my back, but my shoulders themselves often feel like they get tense, like there is a “grip” on them. Sometimes this is combined with a slight feeling of dizziness. When I am around my father to give my shoulders a quick massage it relieves a lot of the dizziness as well as the tension. I have read that anxiety can cause tension like this, but I have had anxiety my whole life and never have felt this shoulder “grip” before. But it may be an indirect, subconscious anxiety causing this tension, as opposed to a direct result of lexapro withdrawal. Typically a short period of laying down helps with this also. Waves/Windows: I have read different parts of this forum and found them helpful. I feel that the “waves/windows” idea is in line with what I have been going through. I feel that I am getting better, and then all of a sudden I will feel way worse for several days or a week, then I will start feeling better again for a week or so. However, looking back on the whole process, overall I think I am improving in the big picture scheme of things. I went to the doctor yesterday and of course he told me it couldn’t have anything to do with Lexapro because I have been off of it for a few months. I also am having blood work done just in case it is anything else. I guess my big question is do these things sound familiar to others and will these symptoms go away over time?

Hi, I'm new here. I don't know where to start...I feel so hopeless and desperate. I've been on and off lexapro for 5 plus years after being diagnosed with panic disorder. Recently have come to realize that I've never given myself the chance to push through withdrawal because my GP had always assumed it was relapse. As I result she would put me back on meds, lexapro. So it's been this sort of cycle for sometime. I typically don't experience withdrawal, "relapse", symptoms till months later, 3 months or so. This time I wanna push through, but I am struggling hard. Recently divorced with two children, so the timing isn't great but when is it really? I'm here for support. I'm falling apart. I have a lot of anxiety, depression, and panic. Heart palpitations, trouble breathing, dizziness, can't sleep past 4 am, and I've lost a lot of weight. Dr. Gave me a prescription for lexapro again, 10 MG, and believes I should get back on it and try tapering later at a "better time". I fear doing this because chances are, I'm going to be back where I started, again and again. But I feel like I'm drowning...trying to cope and manage my symptoms while living a new life a single working mom. I feel like I'm constantly failing. Please help 🙏

Hi guys, Figured i'd join this community for support and to support others. For a bit of background I was prescribed Escitalopram for OCD in early March this year. (Tried regular citalopram first but it was gross and refused to take a second pill) Worked my way up to 15mg of escitalopram by the fourth month. The whole time i was wary of being on them and wanted to get off sooner rather than later, always felt like they were bad news but was essentially out of options. Over this time period I worked extremely hard in therapy/ERP and made a lot of progress with my OCD in that time to the point where it was mostly under control. I was actually pretty happy. Month 5 i dropped down to 10mg. Noticed some mild symptoms (sweating, increased heart rate) but nothing major and they subsided quickly. A few weeks later i dropped down to 5mg. Definitely noticed some more intense symptoms this time, but still nothing that bad. I waited for a further 3 weeks before making the final jump to zero. Unsurprisingly this transition was when things got pretty bad. The first few days were fine, I actually laughed to myself and thought i'd got away with not having many withdrawals. You guessed it, i was wrong. I'm about 7 weeks off now, my memory isn't great atm but from what i can recall the first month was extremely uncomfortable. I can only really describe it as intense emotional pain/anxiety sort of burning inside my chest coupled with racing thoughts. I was extremely irritable, to the point of rage, had very broken sleep, vivid dreams, wild mood swings, sweats, very deep depression. I think around week 5 i had a sort of baby window where for 2 days i felt pretty good. Was stupid enough to drink on that night and woke up back in the pit (if not worse than it was before). I'm currently just over 7 weeks off, the rage has been replaced with irritability, my sleep has somewhat improved, however i'm far from recovered. Still experience very intense emotions (mainly depression, anxiety, anger and sadness), moments of overwhelming impending doom, brainfog, paranoia. There's more but i'm sure you get the point. Anyway, i'm aware i've tapered off far quicker than I should have done. But given all i've been through i'm reluctant to put that stuff back in my body. I'd rather just take the pain. I'm lucky enough to be in a position where i don't have much responsibility right now, however i obviously want to get back to living my life as this past year has been hell with the OCD and then w/d. Hoping given the relatively short time period i was on them for it won't last too long. However 6 months on the drug, i wouldn't be surprised if i need 6 months to recover, maybe more but hopefully not. So yeah, i'm here for the ride with you guys. I know how isolating of an experience it is. My family don't really believe that i'm still withdrawing nearly two months later.

Hello to all My joiurney with depression, anxiety and lexapro started in 2017 before which I had absolutely no clue about the nightmare I’d be stepping into. At my worst point I was on 20 mg of lexapro in the year 2020. Since then I’ve reduced to lexapro 5 mg after slowly cutting doses. I’m afraid to go down from here but desperately want to get off this medicine. I have several side effects from lexapro like sore breasts and night sweats for which I’ve been taking evening primrose oil which has led to even more problems with my menstrual cycle. 5 mg lexparo hasn’t been working very well for me the past year so I’ve been using cbd gummies, which also has been giving me side effects and I’ve had to stop it. I’m not sure if it was the cbd giving me side effects or the lexpro side effects worsening because of cbd. I was taking charlottes web full spectrum gummies 10 mg a day. I did some online research and found that taking cbd increases the concentration of lexapro in the body and can cause side effects to worsen. My doctor had no clue about anything and told me it was safe to take cbd with lexapro which is what led to this disaster. now I don’t know whether i should increase lexapro and go up to 10 mg and start going down from there to eventually stop or start decreasing right now from my current dose of 5 mg lexapro im not taking any other medications as of now, but can’t deal with lexapro anymore..please help me..I’m basically tired of having to deal with the constant side effects and taking one thing after another for my body to feel balanced and good.. is there a way out of this?

Hello! First of all I want to thank all the beautiful heros around here, who share their storys, it helped me a lot to read the success storys again and again to stay focussed and motivated, to keep hope and not give up during the last 2,5 years. I am 35, female. Last friday I hit the 18 months mark after coming off Escitalopram for the third time in April 2020. Most people, especially professionals doubt that the physical and mental symptoms I experience are due to coming off Escitalopram and think it is all in my head. I am very exhausted of the horrible symptoms and having to fight all the time for being supported or even believed. Probably loosing my job and getting no financial support any more at the end of this month, the pressure becomes higher and higher and I am close to giving in and going back in the psychiatric system...and back on meds. I don't know what to do at the moment and hope to get some helpful advise here. Here is my whole history especially of the last about 3 years of struggling: - On holiday in Spain in 2011, while on a city tour, I had a panic attack after feeling faint. After that, I developed agoraphobia with panic attacks – something that has become manageable after psychotherapy. - Having sat the medical exam in 2012, I worked in internal medicine in a hospital setting from 2015 to 2016, with enormous workload and pressures, constant understaffing and a feeling of being out of my depth and overwhelmed while also having incredibly high expectations of myself and my care for the patients. Having reached exhaustion, the panic attacks returned 12 months into the job, and I left. - I restarted psychotherapy, and in September 2016 started taking 15mg Escitalopram (prescribed by a psychiatrist) - I stabilized quickly and took a job as an occupational GP in a very large company in November 2016. I enjoyed that job, felt valued by my colleagues and managers and did’nt feel overwhelmed. It gave me a good work-life balance, and I started volunteering at a charity offering medical support to homeless people, something I thoroughly enjoyed. I had a great relationship, supportive family and friends, enjoyed being active and sporty. - In July 2017, after about 9 months, I attempted to come off the drug, having discussed it with the psychiatrist, tapering by 5mg/ per week over 2 weeks. After that, I felt unwell, was restless, anxious and had stomach issues. The psychiatrist said this was a sign I wasn’t stable enough and 15mg Escitalopram was reinstated. I stabilized and felt better. - In summer 2018, I made a second attempt to come off the drug, but tapered much more slowly. Having reached 10mg we celebrated a beautiful wedding in August 2018, and I then reduced further to 8mg before going on honeymoon in September 2018. A couple of days later I began experiencing panic attacks again, along with exhaustion. I reduced further to 6mg, but then went back up to 15mg because I felt too bad, following psychiatrist advice. I stabilized again. - In March 2019, I attempted tapering for a third time, reducing by 5mg/week over 2 weeks, because the psychiatrist thought the slow tapering might be introducing a psychological issue that was making me feel worse. During the tapering process I started experiencing symptoms, and 3 days after I reached 0mg I was completely floored, with massive physical and mental symptoms. I was unable to work for 3 months, having never been off sick in the 2.5 years before. - There was no improvement after 6 weeks, and so after taking advice from 2 psychiatrists, I started taking the medication again – increasing the dosage by 1mg every 2 days. I had to stop that at 6mg because my symptoms became too severe. - I found a psychiatrist in Berlin who is aware of withdrawal issues, and he recommended to reduce to 2.5mg, which I did in July 2019, the aim being for me to stabilize. At that dosage, I was able to work reduced hours (20-24 hours/week), but it was a constant battle and I felt unwell all the time. - I began to think that maybe I had developed an intolerance to the medication, and so after months of no improvement, I began to taper off it again, following the Horowitz-paper, and reaching 0mg in April 2020. The symptoms got continuously worse as I tapered and got more severe when I reached 0mg. I have been unable to return to work since July 2020. This is a list of my symptoms – although their intensity and the range I may be experiencing on any given day varies. While I never experienced all of them, I haven’t felt “normal” or really well. - autonomic dysregulation: stomach and gut issues (nausea, reflux, stomach cramps, abdominal tension, gut-hyperperistaltic, flatulence and many more), incontinence (in 2019, I wet myself 3 times during the night), difficulty breathing, orthostatic dysregulation, palpitations/irregular heartbeats, sweating - adrenalin rushes/overstimulation of the autonomic nervous system, even smallest stimuli can lead to a fight and flight response - emotional dysregulation: crying fits, extreme mood swings, overwhelming emotions - extreme anxiety: general, agoraphobic, social, paranoia (can’t stand someone walking behind me, feel observed and judged all the time) - depressive symptoms: feeling extremely down, hopeless, desperate, coming and going randomly - myalgia (legs, back, neck, shoulders, arms, whole body) - neuralgia (toes, fingers, earlobes, shoulders, neck…) - headache, neuropathic face, jaw and toothache - abdominal pain - tingling paresthesia (legs, neck, head) - trouble regulating temperature (very sensitive to heat or cold, feeling very hot, shivering with cold), hot flushes, hot skin and feet - extreme sweats at night - trouble swallowing - extreme sensitivity to light, sound, movement and smells, quickly overwhelmed with sensory input, driving or cycling has become difficult, often impossible - dizziness, vertigo - vivid dreams, horrible nightmares, oversleeping - restlessness, agitation - panic, flush, palpitaions, sweating, muscleache in the morning - eye-issues (trouble focusing, burning, dry feeling) - ear-issues (pain, sore feeling) - issues with perception (flickering lights, colour distortion, static items appear to be moving, the floor goes blurry, sounds where there are none) - depersonalisation, derealisation - extreme exhaustion, lack of energy and strength - brain fog, confusion, desorientation, like being on a drug (not off) - cognitive issues with memory, concentration, finding or writing words, reading, understanding - flu-like symptoms - trouble regulating stress (feel overwhelmed quickly) - trouble calming my thoughts, very intense, ruminating thoughts, interrupting cognition - flashbacks (to all kinds of situations, some totally banale) - travel sickness Trigger that provoke/intensify symptoms: - stimuli of any kind, such as light, sound, movement, noice - multitasking - driving (also being a passenger) - eating - physical activity (exercise almost impossible and has been for months, but even walks or getting dressed can overstimulate the autonimic nervous system and lead to a fight and flight response) - screen time - reading - being on the phone - music - conversation, especially talking myself - being in the sun - period and ovulation - social contact of any kind - napping during the day Of course, there have been issues in my life along the way, if that was not the case I would not have started taking Escitalopram in 2016. I struggle with anxiety, but it is something I am addressing. What I have been living through for the last 2,5 years does not compare to anything I have previously experienced, and most of the symptoms I experience I never experienced before I started to take the SSRI. The anxiety I feel since tapering is extreme, complete terror. It is, to be honest, hell. Since April 2020, it has got worse, and I alternate between days where I can cope and do things like take care of the household, go for walks or go to the supermarket, to days where I have to rest a lot, and days where I am house- and bedbound for most of the day. I have found nothing that eases the symptoms, having tried a whole range of things from homeopathy and acupuncture to food supplements (fish oil, magnesium). I meditate daily, do Yin Yoga a number of times a week, eat healthy, don’t drink alcohol or have caffeine, and try to walk out in the fresh air whenever possible. I sleep and rest plenty, but nothing has led to a lasting easing of the symptoms so far. I have had a neurological checkup, including an MRI, have had my bloods and heart checked, all results were great. After all this time, I can’t help but feel huge doubt whether the path I have chosen – accept and hang in there – is the right one. I was convinced I could live without the drug, but 3 years of fighting coming off and the intensity of the symptoms have taken me to the edge of what I can suffer through. My goal to lead a normal life feels a very long way off. I am terrified that I have misjudged this and overestimated my mental health and am questioning myself and my decisions constantly. I am hoping that with your experience, you can give me your objective assessment of whether this indeed is withdrawal, and if I am right in that, if there is anything that might help with the symptoms or move the healing process forward. Thank you in advance from my deep heart for your time and advice. 🙏

So I have been tapering off antidepressants for the last year by myself and I am looking for some support. I first was given Lexapro 20 mg about 6 years ago for an anxiety disorder. At the beginning it worked wonders (or so I thought) but after 2 years I started to experience major weight gain and sexual side effects that were unbearable and I decided to get off my medication. I was not informed of any potential withdrawal and ended up tapering way to fast and experienced extreme withdrawal. I ended up going back on the Lexapro and stabilized. After about 4 months I decided to try and get off again but this time I tried a slower taper. I tapered from 20 to 15 mg successfully and then tried from 15 to 10 but the withdrawal was too much. I went back to 15 mg but side effects were really taking a toll on me so I decided to add Wellbutrin. I experienced severe anxiety and could not continue on the Wellbutrin. I tapered off Wellbutrin and the next 2 months were complete hell filled with extreme anxiety. I also started to notice a weird tightness sensation in my stomach that disabled my movement. After 2 months my doctor recommended mirtazapine in addition to the Lexapro. I started to feel great after the addition of the mirtazapine but then after a month out of no where I started feeling extremely anxious and my stomach tightness increased 10 fold. I tried to stay on the medication as I was terrified to go into withdrawal again but after 6 months of the mirtazapine I could not continue. I tried to taper slowly off the mirtazapine and again experienced severe withdrawal and decided to see a psychiatrist (the worst thing I have ever done). She put me on Rexulti in addition to the Lexapro and mirtazapine and I experienced the worst restlessness I have ever felt but the anxiety was slightly reduced. I read online that the restlessness goes away after a while so I continued with the rexulti and the restlessness eventually went away. I then tapered completely off the mirtazapine and my stomach issues resolved slightly. I was still experiencing sexual side effects so my psychiatrist switch me from Lexapro to Vibryd. She told me there were no side effects but I ended up experienced the worst weight gain and sexual dysfunction I have ever experienced. At this point I was so angry and disillusioned I told my psychiatrist off and decided to get off everything. It has been about a year of slowly tapering and every little bit of medication that I get off of the better I feel. That being said I feel as if I am deteriorating mentally. When I do tapers now I start thinking that I am permanently damaged and become suicidal even though I eventually start feeling better every time. I am currently in the middle of a taper and I am feeling pretty hopeless. When I taper I experience a loss of coordination, blurred eye sight, extreme anxiety, stomach tightness that I have started to notice in my spine, suicidal thoughts, slurred speech, headache, and extreme anger. These symptoms describe a condition call Ataxia and I am beyond worried that I have acquired a permanent condition. I know I start to feel better but when I am in severe withdrawal I can't help but worry about permanent damage. I just haven't had enough time of feeling good over the last 6 years to confidently know that I am not permanently damaged. These guys need to pay for what they are doing to people. I hope that this information is used to put a stop to this horrific system.

Hi there First of all I want to say "sorry" for my english - I try my best to make it as clear as possible! I'm a 38 yo woman with no significant psychiatric prehistory. In january 2022, after Covid-19 hit me, my life, as many others, turned upside down. 10 days after my initial infection (from one day to another) I felt completely depressed, couldn't sleep anymore, was in a unhuman state of panic and my whole sculp was tingling. I ended up for 5 days in an psychiatric hospital. Even the strongest sleep medication couldn't send me to sleep. I really thougt "this was it" and the only reason for not "bringing it to an end" were my beloved two girls. Please note at this point: I had NEVER EVER suicidal thougts my whole life. Doctors told me, that I have Long Covid and put me on Escitalopram. I felt weird and unnatural high on this drug and had a lot of side effects. More and more symptoms appeared and I never knew if this was due LC or due the SSRI. But I didn't care. I was in a such dark place, physically and mentally and was thankful for being at home with my family and slowly my sleep improved. After a few weeks "fight or flight" hit me again and my psychiatrist forced me to updose to the max. After that the nightmare continued and I ended up in hospital for two weeks with what I think is known as "serotonine syndrome". My whole body was shaking and I was completely agitated and over the edge. I felt like going into psychosis and had accustical hallucinations. The only thing I knew at this point was that I have to downdose my medication. I felt completely disturbed. I felt agitated, extremely tense and had the worst mood swings, which I never had before. My sleep was ruined again and they wanted to put me on Z-drugs but I refused and took 25 mg Quetiapin known as Seroquel/Sequase instead. After maybe six weeks something like stabilisation happened but still on a very bad baseline. I never felt like me and couldn't except that I have to be on these drugs now. So I decided to come off. There was nothing to loose. After every try of reduce I got new symptoms plus the old symptoms came back fullforced and lastet for a few weeks. I still never knew what was LC induced and what was drug induced. After months of tappering my psychiatrist decided to wean off from 8 mg in about 4 weeks and put me instead on 25 mg Sertralinum. For about 4 weeks I felt great and during this time I had 4 H.E.L.P. apharesis for my LC symptoms. Then we got the flu and I felt like I was hit by a train and completely new symptoms appeared. Since then a had only a few weeks where my symptoms were manageable. Current symptoms: • morning anxiety • diarrhoe • panic attacks • anxiety spikes/adrenal rushes • intrusive thougts • shakiness • internal vibrations • Tingling/burning sensations • extreme moodswings • short term depression (only a few minutes/hours/days) • brain zaps when falling asleep • electric jolts in my body when falling asleep • anxiety after napping • catastrophizing • heart palpitations • blurry vision • very dry eyes • light/sound sensitivity • extreme tense neck muscles • sharp ear pain • twitching muscles • in fight or flight about everything • fear of everything • nausea + headache • extreme PMS Current intakes: • 25 mg Sertralinum • 25 mg Quetiapin • 1 mg Lorazepanum if needed (maybe 1-2 / months) • some supplements like magnesium, fishoil, turmeric, ... Please note: All these symptoms are changing over the day. They come to go and go to come again. Do you think that it's possible that I'm withdrawing or was it Covid-19 that ruined my nervous system ? Thanx 1000 for your ADVICE 🙏🙏🙏

Hi, Looking for a glimmer of hope here. I stumbled upon this website yesterday and some of the success stories are great. I am a mother of two. I met my husband while on Lexapro. I was put on for social anxiety for around 10 years. I just kept mindlessly taking it and taking it. I tried CBT, but was young and naive and just wanted a quick fix or a magic pill. When I told my then boyfriend about being on the meds, he said he didn’t care and he loved me for who I was. Fast forward 9 years and we are married with two beautiful babies. I tapered off the drug during my pregnancy with my first. Went back on after I had her reluctantly. My anxiety was really bad and I chalked it up to postpartum anxiety. Weaned myself off and then got pregnant again with my son. Spring 2020 rolls around and I had been off the drug roughly around 2 years not including the pregnancy. My lower legs were starting to go numb. I am extremely active and started noticing these changes in my body. Skin crawlers, tremors. Went to the dr and told him it felt like withdrawal symptoms from the AD. He told me I was silly and put me on a low dose of lexapro. They did blood work and everything came back normal. Ultimately, I had manifested in my head that I had MS. Google is a b****. It was the pandemic, I was isolated and I’m a stay at home mom so I have a lot of time on my hands. I was referred to a neurologist who sent me for an mri. Found nothing. Finally, after a few weeks of insomnia, I tried to take my own life by way of overdosing with 5 mg lexapro tablets. I was rushed to the ER and luckily it was such a small amount of the meds they didn’t pump my stomach. After this event, you guessed it, they put me back on lexapro. I was on for a year and my psychiatrist agreed to wean me off. That was May of 2021. I took my last pill. Sleep was awesome for an entire year. No other crazy effects until last week. My husband was gone on business and I woke up in the middle of the night to use restroom and never fell back asleep. Ever since then my sleep has been spotty. I know what this is this time and it’s not anxiety!!!! It’s my body saying that it wants this drug back. The only difference now is that I know what’s going on and I have tools and supplements to help me through. I have been meditating and taking Valerian root to sleep. This is my story. It feels good to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

Hello all .. I do not speak English so I will write and do the translation and paste the conversation here so that you may understand my words ... My story began exactly 15 years ago, I don’t know exactly whether it was a sudden fear or of my father’s death I don’t know but I was very worried and went to the psychiatrist He gave me a prescription for a variety of medicines, but I settled on Seroxat with a dose of 20 mg per day, then a year ago, I replaced Seroxat with Cipralex, a dose of 15 mg, and now I want to get rid of it because of lethargy, laziness and lack of sexual desire completely, so I started a week ago with a dose of 10 mg Cipralex and now I suffer from depression and sad feelings, by God Success