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Hi there, Been using antidepressants for nearly 20 years. Started with Prozac, then citalopram, escitalopram, Zoloft, Cymbalta, amitriptyline, Remeron, tried Lyrica and some others as well. Nice years ago I tried to stop cold turkey (I was taking 20 mg citralopram back then) and had the worst year of my life after that decision. Had conflicts with everyone, had terrible back pain, living was Hell. Now I'm back a tapering, because at some point it was too much: I was drinking alcohol, drinking coffee, needed 20 mg melatonin to get asleep, took L-theanine, Remeron that knocked me off, 20 mg amitriptyline and 60 mg Cymbalta. I had ED from Remeron and the others, and felt really bad. Enough was enough. So I changed things. In the last month, I eliminated everything except for the Cymbalta. I stopped alcohol, caffeine, amitriptyline, Remeron, L-theanine, and melatonin. And I started tapering off Cymbalta, going down 3 mg each week for 10 weeks, which is my objective, to be at 30 mg for winter and maybe try to taper off again next Spring. So far it's difficult. Anxiety is going through the roof, sleep is only marginally better, feel anger all the time. I take magnesium, D3 and K2 to help me, but it only helps a bit. Is my tapering strategy too fast? Any advice? Should I keep going or stabilize first, and any way to manage anxiety? Any supplement that could help? I think I was vitamin depleted from so many years of AD... Thanks

Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals

Hello,this is my story (sorry for my English), Currently suffering a lot and don't have a good supporting system,I feel so alone and lost and don't know if this nightmare will ever end, any help appreciated. 01/2017-12/2022 ~6 Years on Generic Lexapro (5mg-20mg) because of repeataive panic attacks and anxiety that lead to depression.No idea about withdrawal,dr just said that it will be easy to stop them just like I started them .Just I have to do it slowly when I see myself better.My tapering was not tapering as i read here ,I consider it cold turkey because of wrong directionns of docs. I went from 20mg to 5mg in a short time(4-5 month) and and then 0mg. Withdrawal symptoms: 01/23-04/23 Low mood , anxiety at times, high energy, feeling uncomfortable some times.I was feeling that something is not going very well and something is coming but no idea that was from withdrawl as I thought this poison was already out of my system as I was told by doctors. 04/23-07/23 Lot more stress and anxiety, shortness of breath, higher heart rate, balance problem showed, several panic attacks, difficulties focusing, lower productivity at work as my cognitive skills started to go down,pssd.(Thought just ws high stress and anxiety who caused this maybe need some rest ,still no idea about withdrawal.) 07/23-31/09/23 The terror just started,all the above symptoms but in much more extreme which gradually worsened(I took maca for pssd for 4 days in the beginning of 07/23 possibly worsened my symptoms or just what came was supposed to happen ).In the beginning I couldn't talk , couldn't find the easiest words tos say to complete sentences.My cognitive skills just faded away (I was able to understand that because I used to be a good student at uni so I had great pc skills and was a smart guy high grades ) but my mind just stopped to cooperate.All of this gave me a lot ,a lot of stress I thought I was going insane and I just couldn't accept this.I stopped my work temporary for a month because I thought I need some rest because of anxiety i had and I just needed some rest but the worse was coming.My balance problems worsned a lot more ,and just one day I started to have a headache in back of my head ,It was like someone was burning my brain inside.Then everything went worse i started to have headaches in every part of my head , sometimes feel like there is missing part of my brain ,and i feel that parts of my brain are missing sometimes,Very sensitive to louds and sounds in general cand handle everyday sounds I feel paralyzed ,not able to communicate for a long time or focusing in the words someone says ro me because headache starts and just cant handle (it is like it triggers stressors and if i continue to hear or focus in conversations after the pain this goes me to a panic attack )The same happens if i see a vidio for lot of minutes ,feell like my brain is very sensitive maybe due to the fact that i had so much stress about what was happening.I found about this group accidentally as I was in 2psy docs who suggested that i had relapsing and wante ro give me cocktail of other drugs . I suspected that and started the searching on internet.In the beginning i found a group of pssd because this is a problem I have since my CT,and wanted to know about these other drugs they prescribed me ,then I saw @pugsuccess story which lead me to this amazing forum.And reading here about symptoms and everything about withdrawals things started to make sense ,but I was in shock (I found SA0 12/09/23).I didn't started to get these drugs they prescribed me but Im suffering a lot these days.Worth to mention that when my headache started I had a lot of pain on my brain (I thought I was going insane minute to minute )and I wa unable to tolerate it.My family went me In ER and they gave me sth no idea what it was however they told me to take Lyrica(pregbalin) and see how things will go.I took lyrica next day (50mg) and it helped me a lot to be honest my pain reduced and since then I continue it ,but im afraid as it is also addictive and dont know really in this moment it helps or puts more fuel to the fire,but im afraid to take it off because the terror I saw when i went in ER was out of this world.I don't work anymore as I am not able to concentrate on pc and my cognitive impairment is very low . I live with my family this moment as not able to take care by myself but they don't understand me they think that everything is just in my head and they expectthis to pass day by day putting some sort of pressure on me ,also my friends dont understand me,thay just have not ever heard about everything i say so doesn't make sanse ,Im not not able to seee them a lot because I cant handle conversation for lots o minutes with pepople it trigers me that pain in my head .I don't know what to do anymore,I cant go back to ssri the stole my feelings for years ,but im suffering a lot now and 2 month ( 9 months off srri).Apart from the fact that i dont function normally because of my brain I also have lots of stress daily which also cause high heart rate . My worts days are usually I'm bedridden and just a step away to go in ER(lot of pain inside in my soul like is screaming so loudly but only me can hear it , fatigue,not able to communicate, sensitive to light and sound,and dont know if i will make next hour or not).It goes after 6-7 hours some times takes all day and night but freaks me out.Some moments of the day I feel ok but ar less than the waves. My sleep is (4-5 hours per night) except from some days that I was no able to sleep at all .Try to eat 3xday even though some days i don't have appetite.Exerxice whenever Im able and not beddriden usually (30 -50min biking ride or walking/jogging ~8000steps )5/7 days a week . Im trying to fight this but in we deepest waves i feel so bad ,so weak and not imaggine to tolerate this for much time .I don't know if anything i said makes any sense because my symptoms are a little different from others with lexapro.I just want to ask the moderators if is a good idea to continue with lyrica or not? And what is the best thing to do when acute withdrawal hits because I cannot know if there will be strongers acute waves than these who passed just in case to be prepared.Would be a good idea any benzo or any other way either way? Any support and suggestions appreciated. #Thank you for reading my story.🙂

Hello everyone! I apologize this will be long but unfortunately doctors played me on a hamster wheel. I now realized how bad I affected my CNS because of writing out a timelines of everything I took. Summer of 2021 I went into depression and actually did not know what was happening to me. Extremely fatigue, could not sleep, could not eat, nothing made me happy, complete anhedonia. I was so scared because of what was happening to me...then came in anxiety when my neurologist friend says I should start AD meds. I was loosing it....so after 2 months of pure agony here it goes: July 2021 - started prozac 20mg, romeron 30mg and ativan 1mg September 2021 - started going down on prozac as I got to 50mg and was having horrible side effects (headache, dizziness, etc.) October 2021 – switched to Zoloft 50mg and added Lyrica 75 with the to drop the Ativan. was taking Romeron on and off, was able to get off it easily. January 2022 – still taking Ativan and Lyrica also, tapering down Zoloft as I got to 125mg and was again feeling horrible. Headaches, zombie, numb no feelings. Went down according to my dr from 125 to 75mg and felt horrible, the dr wanted to put me on Cymbalta. I decided to try to get off meds totally. January-end of March 2022 – by the end of March I was done tapering Zoloft, I had no actual taper rules because I did not inform myself anywhere and I did not tell my dr either. I was just cutting small pieces of the tablet off. The whole experience was horrible, I had bad anxiety, nausea, fuzzy head type of feeling, vertigo, emotional numbness, anhedonia – I was just there and felt horrible physically too. April 2022 – After 3 weeks totally off Zoloft I am back at new psychiatrist and got back on Prozac 20 to take me out of withdrawal. Bad mistake. All this time I was still taking Ativan and Lyrica. May 2022 – Major headaches started again, I got switched directly from Prozac to Cymbalta 30 and from Ativan 1mg to Valium (10mg). June 2022 – upped Cymbalta from 30 to 60 being a therapeutic dose. This increase totally kicked my a$$. July 2022– my dr. started tapering my benzo, she really wanted me off (so did I!!!) She insists I do it like she says and not go to “forums I keep reading”. I told her about Ashton Manual and my Cymbalta hurts worse group and she was not happy. So, I said ok, lets do it like her and started tapering Valium by a quarter every 7 days 😕 August 2022 – by the time I got to the last quarter (2.5mg) of Valium I was a mess: anxiety, complete fatigue I could barely do anything, my whole body hurt, blurry vision, wanted to sleep and lay down all day. I lasted like this 10 days and could not do it anymore. I have 2 small children to look after. Dr says to go back to Valium 10mg and increase Cymbalta to 90 saying 60 is not enough to get me off of valium….. October 2022 – headaches start here and there. I was feeling okish other than headaches. December 2022 – by Christmas time I was so desperate to do something, I was having day and night pressure type headaches that did not go away with any meds for the past 5-6 weeks nonstop, from the minute I opened my eyes. December 2022 – dr. switches me from Cymbalta 90 straight to Effexor 75 without any tapering. I was still on 10mg Valium and 225 Lyrica by now. January – March 2023 – the switch to Effexor was bad: constant faint like feeling, stiff neck and painful neck and skull/head and major anxiety. Got increased to Effexor 112 and the anxiety was much better. Within 14 days headaches started again, I was terrified. April 2023 – had headaches most of the time from January to April when I suggested my dr to back to Cymbalta 60 when I was fine and had no headaches. She agrees and has me direct switch from Effexor to Cymbalta 60mg. The switch was horrendous: bad migraines for days, flu like feeling for days, tired, anxiety and continuing headaches. May 2023 – my doctor makes the wonderful decision of trying to get me off antidepressants to see how my natural state is and figure out this headache mystery. She says go from 60 to 30 cymbalta for 2 weeks and increase lyrica to 300 and then zero Cymbalta and 375 lyrica and 1mg Ativan again (instead of Valium). OMG OMG OMG. I lasted 2 weeks off Cymbalta while I was having mild anxiety and what bothered me most was very intense pain, burning, pins and needles at the base of my skull and going up my skull in the back of my head like someone just hit me with a baseball bat. I called my dr crying and she says to start Cymbalta 30 again and see what happens. I was a little better, the pain was better but still there. I find the Cymbalta hurts worse facebook group and post my story there also. They advised me to go up on Cymbalta (try weighing beads if I can and take less then 60 or just take straight 60). June 2023 – I increased to Cymbalta 50, the first week was great I had such pain relief and I was getting excited I am finally a bit better after everything I have been through. The increase in Cymbalta was rough on my body again, I was having BAD headaches daily, the neck pain returned. I go to the dr again and she wants to switch me to amitriptyline. She says go down to Cymbalta 30 and start ami 12.5 for 10 days then drop Cymbalta to zero and go up to 25 ami. I went down AGAINNN to Cymbalta 30 and added 12.5 ami on June 10th 2023 and have been there since then. I did not go CT on Cymbalta again, I am honestly scared to do any other change. I still take 1mg Ativan and 225 Lyrica. So 4 drugs total…..I am 35 and have 2 kids and psych meds totally ruined me so far. What I have now is a different symptom every week (that s about how long it lasts untill a new one comes or they keep rotating). They are probably still withdrawal symptoms, that is my guess: -neck and head pain/headaches - I am almost sure cymbalta is also causing my headaches -nausea -anxiety especially in the afternoon but not too bad -anhedonia - I could care less that it is friday, monday, vacation or I am at the office. I have not felt happiness, excitement, joy or even sadness in a longgg time. -lack of motivation or excitement to do anything. I was a very active person that loved to do things/go places. What I take now (nothing changed to the AD since June 10th): -0.5 ativan in the AM -75 lyrica at noon -30 cymbalta at 5pm -0.5 ativan afternoon or whenever I feel it necessary (it helps most with the neck pain) -225 lyrica and 12.5 ami before bed usually around 8.30 pm Pls help! where do I start tapering these 4 drugs? I am familiar with the scale method, the bead method for cymbalta. Do I have to wait until completely stable after the cymbalta dose change in june? Tthank you so much. You are honestly my only hope that one day I will be free from all of this. I have been to multiple drugs and they all have no clue....I have been to 2 of the top doctors in Bucharest Romania and I felt I knew more... -

Hello, I took lyrica 300 mg for 4 years, then i withrawed it in 6 months, now i am 2 years off and my symptoms havent improved at all. I have nad visual symptoms, worst are massive visual snow and blurry circles on sides of vision, then i have joint pain and tinittus. How big is chance it will improve? I read that when someone complains, people tell him that it will be ok because he already had some progress, so its a good sign. But i havent got any progress at all.

Been on nortriptyline 5 years for pain. Started at 50, got up to 120 last year. Stupidly took herbal tincture which included St. John's wort for a couple of weeks which sent me into serotonin overload. So I stopped it and cut down nortriptyline to 100. I've been in basically a constant panic attack since then, over 2 weeks a ago. Taking the med exacerbates the anxiety, but I can't not take it or I get sick. Can't get into the psychiatrist for 2 more weeks. Primary care have not helped at all. I'm in hell. I would just go back up to 120 except the medication really exacerbates the anxiety. I don't even know what to do now. It will be 3 weeks this Friday and I'm still in a constant state of panic attack unless I take a Valium or Xanax which I am trying to avoid because I don't want to get hooked on benzos. I have been exercising twice a day just take the edge off the anxiety which helps for a couple of hours. I'm on vacation and supposed to be having fun but I am in hell. I have been barely coping at work. I'm supposed to go to train for the position I was promoted to at another office in 3 more weeks. How can I deal? Do I try to go back up to the 120 and then taper much more gradually, even though I wig out when I take it? It used to have a seriously sedating effect. I don't know what's happening! And no one else does either, apparently.

Introduction topic I promised myself that if I ever survived psychiatric drugs, I’d post a “success story” on the internet because I always found such stories encouraging to read, even if they felt like a distant dream—somewhere I could never really reach. And yet here I am—I’ve made it—and it’s “withdrawal” that now feels like the distant dream (or nightmare) from a past life. I feel it’s time then for me to share my story, albeit as a video. I didn’t expect or want to make a video but my own path to “healing” is somewhat unconventional. It goes beyond tapering, which for me was insufficient on its own. So, to really share my story, I need to provide a fair amount of background information. And, for me, this centres on how I’ve come to reframe my experience with “protracted withdrawal” into something else altogether, called The Mindbody Syndrome or TMS (a concept by the late John Sarno, a rehabilitation physician). It’s through my understanding of Sarno’s mindbody approach to chronic pain and other medically unexplainable phenomena that my years of withdrawal sensations (or TMS) finally ended. I’d note I’m not the first person to use a TMS approach for “protracted withdrawal.” Others have had success as well. I’ve communicated with some of them. It seems, therefore, that more people could benefit from knowing about this. To be clear I’m not saying this approach is necessary for anyone nor am I proclaiming a definitive explanation of “protracted withdrawal syndrome.” What I’ve done is taken a demonstrably successful approach for chronic pain of unknown origin and adapted it for withdrawal sensations that seem to go on and on for no particular reason. Given the limited scientific understanding of “withdrawal syndrome”, however, my adaptation comes with significant simplifications, speculations, and leaps that many people will reasonably see as implausible and too reductionistic. I get it. Despite this, I’ve posted this video because, well, this is my own understanding of how I resolved withdrawal sensations for myself—and, also, exact physiological details aren’t so important for a mindbody approach; it’s the broader psychological concepts that matter. And, who knows, maybe this will resonate with someone else. Regardless I hope everyone finds the best path for themselves. This is the one that worked for me. Finally, I’d just say that the following video is sort of like a self-help video as well. So for any person interested in this approach, I make suggestions based on my own experiences and interpretations, but I'm not saying what anyone should actually do or think. There are also references throughout the video so there’s lots of info and authors listed for anyone who feels so inclined to look into this beyond one random guy on the internet. Note: If you find the video too confusing or shoddily made but you’re interested in this idea, I’d suggest The Mindbody Prescription by John Sarno or The Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich for a better explanation of the psychology of TMS; or, if you’re interested in a more “scientific perspective”, I’d suggest Psychophysiologic Disorders by Howard Schubiner et al. (Psychophysiologic disorder is basically just another name for The Mindbody Syndrome.) Each of these books goes into medically unexplainable phenomena beyond chronic pain.

Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.

Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

Hi.. My story is, “briefly“, that I have within the past 3 years, been on... so. Much. Crap. And I am currently in withdrawal torture from hell and have been for years now. In the beginning of 2019, I had a very bad stress / anxiety reaction, and I was quickly put on medication. Benzodiazepines for two months along with starting Zoloft. Quit Benzos cold turkey (doctor’s orders) and then Zoloft was upped to 125 mg (in hindsight I am pretty sure it was because I reacted strongly to Benzo quitting). I felt completely horrible on Zoloft and tapered off over the course of 2.5 months (doctor’s orders). Then I was in complete hell and couldn’t sleep so after being “clean” for one month, I was put on 7.5 mg. Mirtazapine. I could FINALLY sleep and it did seem to help my anxiety a bit? I still had a lot of strange horrendous symptoms though but I don’t know if that was from Mirtazapine or SSRI withdrawal ...? Can a dosis of 7.5 mg. Mirtazapine cancel out severe SSRI withdrawal? Anyway - So in 2020 I was on Mirtazapine up and down weekly between 7.5 and smaller doses (doctor said I could just adjust from day to day). I ended up just completely wrecked and just lied in bed in a haze.. so they took me off Mirtazapine and started me on 60 mg. Duloxetine plus Promethazine for sleep. Total haze still, awful.. So off it again after 7 months - tapered from 60 mg. Duloxetine to 0 over 4 weeks. Then felt .... HORRIBLE (!!!) and started self medicating with Benzodiazepines while I waited for withdrawal to end for two months- until my doctor found out and said stop that. Then I was put on Pregabalin and Escitalopram 10 mg. from March 2021 until I wanted to quit (because I was a complete foggy hazy wreck on that as well). Stopped Pregabalin in May and Escitalopram in July (tapered from 10 mg. to 0 over 4 weeks). In September I tried to take a tiny dose of Escitalopram to ease the horrendous withdrawal symptoms .. but that didn’t work and I felt worse. So I just thought I’d push through this indescribable nightmare... in December however I took 1/2 pill of Benzodiazepine twice because it was so unbearable. So.. now it is 9 months since I stopped Escitalopram (/6 months since I tried a small dose for a week) and 4 months since Benzodiazepines.. I can’t describe how much of a hell it has been AND STILL IS 😔 I have constantly tried to tell myself that it WILL and MUST get better soon. And while some symptoms have gotten better, I have almost no life by now. I hardly see anyone because I just can’t due to symptoms, I hardly exercise or leave my apartment. Some days, like today, it is almost constant torture. A week ago I tried Melatonin (4.5 mg. over two days) and then I’ve tried some Valerian root pills.. somehow it’s gotten worse now. So.......... bottom line: I’m thinking about starting Mirtazapine just to ease the withdrawal symptoms and to make sure I sleep better. Right now no matter how much I sleep, I am never rested and feel like I haven’t slept for days everyday. But I am BEYOND scared that it will make everything worse, and then I have yet another drug to get free from. So yeah.. does anyone know if Mirtazapine can help SSRI withdrawal symptoms? I honestly don’t know what to do. Thanks and sorry about the long message. I feel pretty desperate. 😔 Best Louise

Current drugs: - 2012-present citalopram, currently steady at 25mg - 2020 lyrica: max 4mg/day. started tapering after 2 weeks and having worse withdrawal than from 225mg This case history must be very unusal given the low dose and short time. Has anyone heard of a similar case? Also unusual is the bad method I'm stuck with to calculate doses. Recent start and tapering of lyrica ----------------------------------- I started a microdose of lyrica January 1 2020, thinking I could test side effects and stop if they were bad. Worked up to a maximum of about 4mg/day. After 2 weeks I decided it wasn't for mej. Reduced to 70% of max dose and held 4 days but got serious withdrawal symptoms. I thought an increase might help so went up to 80% of my maximum for 2 days, symptoms got MUCH worse, then down to 75% (1 day) and 65%. I thought lyrica and citalopram might be interacting and that tapering citalopram might be easier, so I tried 20% less (25->20mg) one day. I got the worst anxiety of my life and haven't changed it again. Following that I stayed on 65% of my lyrica dose for 2 weeks while I stabilised. Now on day 5 down from 65% to 60% which has not been bad. So, tapering slowly seems best. BUT I cannot measure doses accurately because I'm dividing powder with a knife on a plate (see below). Would switch to liquid but I can only guess how much I'm taking in a day. I'd be grateful for any advice on what I should do! Or information about similar low-dose, short-term cases, or how to handle inaccurate doses. I've been advised by some to go cold turkey given the small dose and short time, and that might have been ok when I started tapering after 2 weeks, but now I've been on it 6 weeks total. I could just about handle the initial 30% drop from my maximum dose but I could not handle what happened when I raised it 10%, then lowered it again. Maybe my case will be useful to someone. If nothing else it shows you can get hooked on a very small dose. The rest of this post goes into background a little and a lot of detail about what I'm doing now, so may be of less general interest. Prior drug history ------------------ - before 2010: prozac then paroxetine then seroquel. never any real trouble getting off them. Just some anxiety/irritability. - 2012 lyrica (only) for 11 days max 225mg/day then tapered off over 5 days with bad withdrawal symptoms for about a week - 2012 mirtazapine for a couple of months, after the lyrica - 2012-present citalopram, starting near the end of the mirtazapine Why is withdrawal worse in 2020 than on a much bigger dose in 2012? ------------------------------------------------------------------- It's hard to compare the two but the current withdrawal seemed considerably worse even before I raised the dose again and made it much worse. Some ideas I had: - I'm also on citalopram now. - Use or withdrawal from lyrica in 2012 primed/changed something. - I got lucky when i went off quickly in 2012, just in time (tapering after 11 days of using it) and just fast enough (5 tapered doses) to escape worse withdrawal. - The down/up dose in first week or withdrawal made it much worse. Also changing citalopram dose for 1 day seemed clearly VERY bad. Switching to liquid ------------------- Day 1 of last taper (65->60%) was partly with liquid I got from a compounding pharmacy. I replaced about 23% of the powder with liquid. Symptoms from underdosing have been bad but less bad than raising the dose, so I aimed low, and took what should have been roughly 45% less liquid than needed (using my rough estimate at equivalance - see dosing method below for details). It was much too strong. I got more sedated than I've ever been on lyrica, lots of muscle twitches, then somewhat agitated when it wore off. I switched back to all-powder doses, and decreased the evening dose by 1/3 to compensate for the morning overdose, and from the next day remained 5% of max dose lower. This has gone surprisingly well despite the updose then decrease. I'm tempted to stay on the powder, but I can't divide into smaller amounts than 1/256 of a capsule with any accuracy at all. That means as I decrease the dose, the reduction step size will get bigger. The most recent step down (65->60%) was about 7.5% of my current dose, but that will become 15% of current dose given a few more steps etc. Also, if a shirtsleeve brushes my reference doses away I'm sunk - I'll have little idea how much to take. But if I switch to liquid, I have to guess how much to take, and try to correct for symptoms, and gradually replace powder with liquid. After the first drop in dose (100% to 70%) it seemed to take a few days for the withdrawal to really get going. If that's still true, adjusting the liquid dose up and down could easily get out of hand and be less gentle than the later, and proportionally bigger, powder decreases. So neither option is good. Powder dosing method (details) ------------------------------ The method I use to dose is awful: I divide capsule's powder into two piles of 1/2, then divide each pile agqin and again. Currently I take 1/64 + 1/128th of a capsule every morning and again at night. This has limited accuracy of course, but it gets worse; there is residue left on the plate after the division. The amount of residue has changed over time since I switched from a big knife to a razor blade, and I haven't been consistent about how much residue I leave. At one point I thought measurements would be more consistent if I kept "reference" piles of each key size: 1/32, 1/64 and 1/128. But I realise now the references are not accurate, and I'm basically eyeballing the new piles now to match the reference ones. To estimate how much my 1/128 actually is, I started a new pill, and divided it with as little residue as possible (using a razor blade, which doesn't leave much at allif you're careful). To my amazement I seem to have left about 50% of the pill as residue. Separately I began sweeping residue from another pill into a pile, which I estimated was about 30% of the pill. Another idea would be to weigh my 1/64th, but I suspect it's too little to measure accurately with any scale I can get my hands on. Potency of my powder -------------------- To make matters even worse, the capsules I'm using expired 4.5 years ago. From a short look on the net and talking with a pharmacist this might not be big deal. But also the powder sits on a plate being slowly divided for up to 2 weeks before I take it, so it may degrade somewhat.

Original topic title: I survived Generalized anxiety disorder to a very intense degree as well as Major depressive disorder in a very short amount of time, I basically dropped Pregabalin, and clonazepam Now I only have to drop Pristiq( please help me Hey How is this community? I was researching and I found you all. I hope you all are well and doing great. I suffered from Anxiety since I was around 18 years and it would come and go in waves. I never really resorted to Psychotropic drugs. Most of the time my anxiety would spotaneously resolve. I would always stay very active with exercise and swimming and sports. I always had great family and friend support and my disorder never got out of hand. I had bouts of recreational drug use and abuse during my college years but never was an addict( I used MDMA and cocaine). However even with my anxiety disorder I never took this SSRI/SNRI garbage and I suffered from anxiety for 13 years. Essentially it is Garbage. It might help to a degree with anxiety or depression. But I see the damage it does to the beautiful human body. My anxiety got out of control starting last year and it kept getting more intense. I never dealt with anxiety at this level. It was something surreal. I was just suprised. I always had anxiety. But this was something out of this world. The anxiety kept getting more intense, the spiraling thoughts, then the anxiety took over my body, mind and soul. I was rendered incapacitated. I started to develop depression and also suicidal thoughts. I never dealt with something of this magnitude. It was truly out of this world. I had to take some time from work. I developed a plan to recover. I read self help books. I had family support. I started to exercise intensively and I got on Psychotropic drugs. This took place this year the worst of it from february 2022 to May 2022. I am essentially recovered now August 2022. Lyrica, Clonazepam and Pristiq. My dosage of Lyrica was 400 mg a day at one point. Eventually I developed a tolerance to the Lyrica and dropped it ; I tapered it and I got off it without a problem. I also had this weird intuition in my gut. Its very unusual. Its something related to God or a higher power for certain( I am a Christian). Something just told me to drop the Lyrica and I tapered it over a week or two and got off without an issue. I also have a strong brain body connection. I have dealt with anxiety. I also do not always view my anxiety as a bad thing. Even though its force is overwhelming at times I learned to rest in it and accept it and allow the energy to pass. Anxiety is a form of energy. Thanks to God, a higher power or whatever miracle. I survived GAD and Major depressive disorder very rapidly this year probably over 2-3 months. It was very intense but I survived. I now continue to experience anxiety but instead of intense fear, its just amplified energy. My panic attacks dissapeared. I had panic attacks, phobias, and agoraphobia I Survived. Anyways now I just have one beast to conquer. I put my faith in this community to help. I know I can survive this too. This a mere part of the process. I have not been on the SNRI for a long time. I wish I never started. Since February to now August I gained roughly 20 pounds So I only have been on pristiq for 6 months . I went from a nice basically good looking 30 year old male who was 6'2 very fit and 215 pounds to a 30 year old male who now has 235-240 pounds. This was all due to the pristiq and lyrica and I am happy I dropped Lyrica. On saturday 8.6.2022 I dropped my Pristiq from 100 mg to 75 mg. So far the withdrawal has not been too intense. I only have been on Pristiq for 6 months. I kind of want to do a faster taper. Any advice? I have confidence in God, myself, my body, my mind that I will drop this ****. I want to do it safely but if possible a bit quickier. The intuition in my body or some kind of force told me start this now. Now is the time. Now you will get off this crap. I think my Body can do this. I know I can. I am staying positive. The power within. All of us have it. I know some of your journeys have been long. So has mine with anxiety, it has been 13 years of dealing with it. I mostly stuck to exercise and supplements and family and friend support to deal with it and always was successful. This year I started to take this Pristiq crap and maybe it helped maybe it didn't. I think time did. According to most research Depressive episodes and anxiety episode last a year and dissolve naturally. I am standing now at Pristiq 75 mg. I am on clonazepam .25 mg plan on dropping it over the next 2 weeks. Basically have no benzo withdrawal or any issues with that and a high level of discipline and know I will drop it. What is the best and safest way to taper Pristiq 75 mg? with the least amount of damage done? I dropped to this dose on Saturday from 100 mg. Basically I am taking one 25 mg extended release tablet and one 50 mg extended release tablet. I have been on Pristiq only 6 months. It was a terrible choice. I will never go on any SSRI or SNRI after this. I also do not like the feeling I lived till 30 years old something without pills( supplements okay) but its just crap. They also lie. Pristiq is addictive. They made the chemical like that on purpose. The side effects are horrendous and I am having a doubt in my mind if it truly helps anxiety. It just numbs you out. Maybe helpful to a degree but its just B/S.

I have been on Lyrica for six or seven years and it has zapped my motivation. I’ve been on Topamax for around eight years and it has made it difficult to think. I’ve been on both of these for pain. I’ve also found myself on the addiction end of smoking cannabis also for pain. The good news is that I have done a lot of work with a chronic pain coach and pain therapist and my pain levels have come down significantly. As a result I feel like I’m able to get to the point where I can taper off of these things. However I tried to taper off of Topamax follow my doctors instructions and was thrown into an increase in migraines. I currently take 100 mg per day with 50 in the morning and 50 in the evening. He had me decreased by 25 mg in the morning. That reduction was too drastic. I tried tweaking that so that I was taking 37.5 mg in the morning instead of my usual 50 thereby decreasing by 12.5 mg instead of 25 mg but I was still really discombobulated and the migraines persisted so I had to go back up and Abandon my effort to taper for now. I tried going cold turkey off of cannabis last winter and the migraines surged and by the fourth day in a row of a migraine I couldn’t do any more and went back on the cannabis. It seems my brain is very sensitive to any change in the routine. I love any insights into which med you think might be the best one to taper first and how slowly. Also are there any supplements out there that help to give the body what it needs as we are taking these meds out of the system? As I think about the order of doing these medications I think about perhaps going off of them in the order I got on them. Since I got on the Lyrica last maybe I should get off of it first. Then get off of the Topiramate/Topamax. Then get off of cannabis last so that I can use it to help me get through the migraines When and if they pop up during the taper process. Any insights are appreciated from your experience. Thanks!

Is it possible that I have permanent brain damage from an anti-depressant. I came of Zispin 12 years ago cold turkey and am still suffering withdraw symptoms that come and go. The symptoms are so severe at this moment that I think I'm losing my mind. I am keeping two words in mind 'Courage & Dignity". I'm going through this so long now that I don't talk about it any more to the people in my life. However, its getting harder to deal with because I'm getting older (60) and my physical health is poor. Two years ago I was told I had terminal cancer I was scared but also relived to know I was getting free of this withdrawal problem. The doctor then decided to operate, she told me I had less than a twenty percent chance of surviving. Well, I got free of cancer, I had my lung removed (and my quality of life) and everybody said I was a miracle. I don't feel like a miracle, I feel like a pathetic mess. Can anyone give me a little hope please.

Hi everyone! I'm very pleased to find this forum! Congratulations for the initiative! It´s shocking how many people are suffering from withdrawn. : ( Last year I became absolutely miserable after trying taper Seroquel and start Lyrica. My anxiety is out of control. I haven't slept in months. I feel numbness in my feet and hands. I lost more than half of my hair. The tinnitus is unbearable. My memory and cognition are very bad. And I'm sensitive to everything...food, supplements, light, sound... Also, I developed some movement disorders like restless legs and akathisia. One of the worst symptoms is crying and screaming that lasts for hours. Could it be psychosis? All the doctors keep saying I have hypochondria. But I know these symptoms are real. Has anyone else received this diagnosis? I'm from Portugal and I'll do my best to be able to communicate in English! I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone all the best and say that I´m ready to learn whatever is necessary. I´m Chemical Bachelor so I understand a little about drugs but absolutely nothing about the human body. My first question is: what is the proper dose of seroquel should i take? I decided to start slowly with 0.5mg. It´s enougth? Take care everyone. (And please let me know if my English is not understandable.)

Please i kindly ask you to advice. After caesarian delivery I got Lyrica 100mg for pain. I was on it 1,5 year. Now I wanted to withdraw and all hell broke loose. I have obsessive thoughts about harming myself and others (never were there before), intrusive thoughs of someone running with the knife, thoughts /urges to kill myself or other, hallucinations when I Close my eyes in the bad about bad things (yesterday I had in my dream a cancer) already for two months, and my doctor thinks this is Depression and wants to up Lyrica and give some antidepresant to it. I do not know what to do. I do not want medicaments, but I am afraid I might lose my mind and really hurt someone. What is this for a medication? How can this do to me? I was always normal. I have Little chicldren, I am single mom. I want only to die. Please tell me what to do, or I will go crazy. The best possibility would be only to die. How can I come from this away? I am afraid my brain is totally destroyed.

Hey Warriors! I’m approaching 3 months tapering off Pregabalin, reducing 1-2mg/day using water titration. Today marks -80mg, or 520mg down from 600mg/day. And the day I found this forum. Feeling constant sadness most days, with some energy and a few happy moments here and there. Sleep has been erratic, it affects me badly to be so tired all the time. I’ve got appointments next week: - Julia Ross Nutritional Consultant for Amino acid therapy - New GP To get referral to Psychiatrist Three other meds to come off after this. The order I’m hoping to follow is: 1. Pregabalin 2. Lamotrigine 3. Fluoxetine 4. Moclobemide I’d love to be blessed with a quick and easy tapering journey but I know it’s not always possible. But I’ll do my best to have the best possible outcome. Thank you for sharing in the good and the challenging times xxx

My name is Liza and I’m from Canada. I am here because the Lyrica support group I am part of is shutting down. I was put on Lyrica last March 2021 for burning in my legs, but was started at 150mg and increased to 375mg in less than a month. The side effects included severely burning legs, insomnia, and anxiety. A month after I started taking it, I realize it was causing these problems and not some unknown disease. I began tapering and taped too fast to start. the withdrawal caused burning legs, severe insomnia, urinary urgency, anxiety, angry, depression. In early November 2021, I was started to Seroquel to help with the insomnia, but it’s caused me to hyperventilate and then on Dec 28th, i was diagnosed with a DVT - Blood clot. i am off the seroquel, but am holding the Lyrica at 85mg because the recovery from the blood clot has been pretty awful. Since the clot, my anxiety has been quite severe and I feel like something terrible is going to happen, especially when o get a new pain. And FYI I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

I do understand that there is some valuable info and help here,I do but atm I’m so disoriented that I can’t find any help. I’m also very very emotionally sensitive and I know nobody means to be offensive but I take it so wrong and then I’m that much deeper in that black hole. I don’t mean at all to leave permanently but I tried to drop on my dosage 2 wks ago and the pain is so horrific that I couldn’t do it,so I was on 50’mg 2xday of Preg then I tried to stop to 25mg 3xday but couldn’t do it and even tho I’m taking 25mg 4xday I’m now on top of the pain and waiting to stabilize in now in withdrawal like symptoms stil from trying to drop and that dreaded death warmed over feeling is back. So I’m just gona sit and stabilize then drop one of my dosage. I wished I knew what vitamins or natural supplements I could use with the meds I’m on but I get so confused when I try to find sumin to help with the nerve pain that I just give up,especially early on in my dosage drop. But anyways I’m sure Iv talked your ear off. I so appreciate your care and concern I truelly do. Thank you so much for your kind words. Gabanoids

Six years ago I was desperate to find relief from the debilitating pain I was experiencing from having had shingles-Postherpetic neuralgia. Even though I had worked in healthcare for 25 years I was very naive when it came to taking meds. I was a hospital social worker. My desperation and naïveté resulted in my ending up on Lyrica. The side effects have been many with the worst for me being tremendous weight gain.

Hello all! I'm popping over from the Lyrica Survivors group on FB, that's taking a bit of a pause. I am happy to report that I'm almost finished getting off 4 meds over the course of about 4 yrs! Lyrica is my last one and I should be done next week after a 14 mth long taper. Before that, it took me about 18 mths to taper off a benzo. And before that, I came off Gabapentin and Flexeril. It's been such a long road with all the ups and downs of withdrawal symptoms. It's been a very emotional journey. I will work on my signature but need to figure out all the dates. Thanks for the inclusion.

Hello to you all, I came over from the Survivors group on FB. I was on Pregabalin for about 16 years, the side effects from it worsened after being on it less that one year but I thought at the time it was just my conditions, each year I became sicker and food intolerances became part if my norm, so many other things were going on and over the years I had been extremely ill to the pint when I thought was on my way out. It was pretty scary. I found Amy's group on FB and learned so much about why I was so ill, reading other people's experiences similar to mine. I then took things into my own hands and cut my dose in half, nit a good idea because for about 4 or 5 months I was in total agony but I was determined to put up with it to get this stuff put if my system, after that time I then reduced by 100mgs every two months, but my food intolerances we still getting worse. In fact for the last 3 months on it I could nit eat without being very ill and so when I got to my last 100, after 3 months I stopped it there. Withdrawal is not pleasant but irs worth it to feel the way I am now. There were a lot of serious side effects but too much to go into here. Now most of the side effects have gone and I can eat food quite happily without thinking how sick I might be. I am so much better from discontinuing with Pregabalin and will never take that or it's substitutes again. My body is thanking me for taking note of good advice. I am so much happier without it. I am living again.

Hello all! I have been reading a lot on this website. I am a 43 year old woman from the Netherlands. Because of face ache after a rootcanal at the dentist that caused extreme pains for over a year they gave me lyrica and amitriptyline. 450 mg lyrica and 50 mg amitriptyline was built up within a year. Because of many bad side effects I had to taper my meds. In 2017, 29 th july I tapered 25 mg lyrica. Everything was fine. My dose was at that time 100 mg lyrica and 25 mg amitriptyline. When I tapered my last 25 mg tablet in september 2017 everything went wrong! I got extreme muscle pains in my arms and legs and sometimes just all over! My pain specialist said that I just had to wait and be patient and that the pains would disappear. So I waited. My pains improved a tiny bit. But not much. 9 th february 2018 I felt so dizzy. I was dizzy for weeks. When I forgot a 25 mg pil of lyrica the dizzyness went away. I jumpt to the conclusion that the dizzyness came from the lyrica. So I decided to taper from 100 mg lyrica to 75 mg lyrica at that day. (Now I doubt if it was from the lyrica, maybe the dizzyness was withdrawal from the amitriptyline.) From then it became even worse. I have musclepain and nerverpain everywhere especially in my arms and legs. Sometimes I am burning all over or just in my torso. I cry a lot. I can hardly function and suffer a lot of pain every day. 6 weeks ago I spoke to my pain specialist. She wanted me to wait for improvements and did not like to updose. But the daily pain is still horrible. Some other symptoms have improved: Insomnia (from hardly any sleep to a few bad nights a week) Tinitus (only very mild every now and then) being irritated (gone) fear (only very mild every now and then) tingling (only mild every now and then) electric feeling in my head (gone) Now I doubt what to do. Should I wait (mayby a few years) and hope everything settles down? Or do a small reinstatement on the lyrica? Maybe a small reinstatement on the amitriptyline? (I doubt that because I am allready totally off the med since 22 september 2017) I cannot make up my mind and don't know what the best option would be. So I hope you can give me some advice.

Hi Everyone I apologize for so much information at once I'm too sick to do a full brand new post so I have copied and pasted posts from support groups on facebook I was directed here too for help. I am in desperate need to know if I should reinstate any of my medications or if it is too risky. I was wondering if I should try taking the lyrica again then do a proper taper, the psychiatrist put me on for my anxiety I never had pain before I took it until he took me off it too fast I first started getting the muscles contractions and horrible muscle cramp pain and had my first uncontrollable muscle movement episode of my face after the lyrica was stopped with only a 4 day taper which I did not know was too quickly I had been on it for 5 weeks. I think the lyrica stopped so suddenly started it all but then the escitalopram and trazadone tapers and getting off them too quickly just made everything worse. I have been so desparate in my thinking to see if there is a way to reverse this what I think may be dystonia that I have been thinking should I try to go back onto the lyrica to see if this disappears and then do a really slow proper taper but then I think it is so risky what if I really mess myself up worse but living with this and with it only being so soon 4.5 months and I have so much pain already I already cannot handle it I cannot imagine handling it any worse. I'm so afraid and do not know what to do I'm afraid that this will not go away with time if it is the dystonia. What does anyone think do you think trying lyrica again would be worth the risk? it is so hard to know what to do considering I had 3 too fast drug tapers. Does anyone think this would be too risky? I'm sure I have developed dystonia more and more everyday it scares me. I can feel my waist and hips turning to the left and I have less control of my legs then normal and the feel wobbly or like spaghetti or elasticy I don't know how to describe it and my neck and head want to turn to the left I feel like a force is pushing it to the left. Also I feel the muscles in my face moving mainly wanting to pull down especially in my jaw area and my neck and face muscles get tight. I also have had 3 times where I have had uncontrollable movements of my face that lasted for hours the first one was the worst that happened right after I was stopped on the lyrica in the hospital that included my eyes, tongue protruding and mouth, pretty much my whole face and my neck and right arm twisting to the left the nurse told me it was anxiety and to calm down I did not believe her that it was anxiety I have had anxiety long enough to know it does not do that. Since then I have had 2 more episodes that involved then same area's but not my tongue. I'm very scared of my future and no doctors will say the drugs have anything to do with it. Also my hands, wrists and lower arms get stiff throughout most of the day. My muscles get unbearably painful a very very deep bone consistent aching pain. I was able to move around today more and do some things in the kitchen and I did notice the pain lessened while I was more active. This is when I really noticed though I'm definitely dealing with the twisting of my right side of my body to the left. It makes me walk around like I look intoxicated. I really respect all you peoples opinions and knowledge and have some questions to ask if you would not mind. I was wondering could it get better or go away and just be a part of withdrawals or once this happens do you have it for life? Have been off antidepressants for for 3 to 4.5 months (too fast tapers) had been on poly drugged for 1.5 years then before that on citalopram for 10 years. A huge mess I was fine for the first 10 years developed insomnia and my anti was switched to trazadone and when that did not work the poly drugging happened for 1.5 years (I was a zombie and almost entirely non function able still am but no longer a zombie but I am extremely sick now riddled with unlivable pain still suffer from insomnia and take unfortunately 7.5mg zopiclone and 1mg clonazepam a day) but these last few days my muscle pain, uncontrollable cramping, stiffness, tightness in my head, face, throat, neck, right arm/hand, shoulder and sometimes my left arm/hand and also episodes of uncontrollable muscle movements of my face is so unbearable lately I cannot handle it any longer. Today I have been at my wits end desperately not thinking I can go on any longer. I am so sick fluish this last few months also I'm getting to the point the pain in intolerable another minute it is almost 24/7 I have only had the muscle pain or tightness cramping go away for maybe a half hour a few times in the last month. It is too much. I was so sick before all this for the last 1,5 years that I am so weak I cannot this week get myself to hardly eat and bathe the pain is so intense I want to it all to end. No one can help me. I need to desperately no what to do. The pain is like you have if you get a severe cramp or charlie horse for instance this morning it has been a constant charliehorse in my lower right arm and hand, right shoulder, neck, face and head. It is so painful I only could sleep for a couple hours last night. I even took a baclofen (which I only have taken maybe 6 times in the last 3 months when I feel I can no longer take the pain another minute), 2 advils, clonazepam and all my vitamins. I just do not know how to go on any longer. I have no support group at home. My husband is my only person I have and he along with my doctor think my pain is psychosomatic. My husband cannot tolerate my complaining or crying or making any sounds of or about my pain. I don't know how to make the pain stop or live with it anymore so it is tolerable. I cannot handle the suffering anymore I literally am desperate for help so badly. Since lyrica was one of the last meds I was on that the pain started after the psychiatrist took me off with only a 4 day taper and that is when the nerve and muscle cramping, movements and severe head pain started I do not know if I should try to reinstate after being off it for 4.5 months but I think it is too risky but then again I'm desperate for this muscle pain relief i am so afraid I have the early stages of dystonia too. I have had episodes of uncontrollable muscle movements of my face, neck and right arm. I am so afraid of that. But this muscle pain is so intense it is unimaginable I really need to numb this pain somehow. The severe head pain migraine burning so painful 24/7 and the piercing tinnitus. Even the numbness, tingling burning nerve pain allover but the worst is the muscle pain it is so severe. Whenever I try to type on the computer this all makes my pain levels go up so much worse but I need the help so badly, emotional support. I am desperate I feel for my sanity and my life, I need knowledge so bad. I want to do everything right now. I want to get better if there is any chance. I need something to keep me strong to endure this it feels like I am being tortured daily and have to put up with it because no one will listen to me. I wish I would have been thinking clearly enough to search out support groups before I let him put me on these meds or atleast before they were stopped or the too quick tapers. I cannot stop thinking about wanting to turn back time. I hope my life is not ruined forever unless I can get this pain under a tolerable level and I pray to god I do not have dystonia but I fear I do from having joined a dystonia support group on here it sounds all to familiar. I do not know how I can make it through life with no support, knowing my doctor is not listening to me and my husband is not trying to help get me better just not wanting me to bother him with my pain or worries, be silent. How do I survive this? I cannot hardly look after myself being so sick, I have nowhere to go. Does anyone else that had been off antidepressants for as around long as I have 4.5 months or longer experience this muscle cramping, severe pain? Please explain where in your body and the level of pain? Also any uncontrollable muscle movements? What do you take besides magnesium for the pain? Does anyone ever recover from antidepressants withdrawals/pain after stopping them too quickly after being on antidepressants for 12 years? Brief History Born August 1, 1970. Female 48 years old. At time of illness Tracy had been a National Lifeguard Instructor Trainer and Lifesaving Society Instructor Trainer with a career as an Aquatic Supervisor at an indoor town pool for 5 years. Training and certifying Lifeguard/Swimming Instructors, supervising daily duties of lifeguards/Instructors/front deck staff as well as implementing and maintaining programming, scheduling, operational procedures and guidelines. Before that Tracy had owned and operated her own Day Spa for 10 years as well as worked in advertising. She graduated from college in 1993 in Graphic Design/Advertising Art. Tracy fell ill from insomnia in September of 2018 she had been just diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and had just started cpap therapy but found the treatment invasive and could not tolerate the cpap treatment enough to fall asleep with the cpap machine. She had been lead to believe she would die in her sleep if she did not use her cpap machine and became fearful and so persistent in always using her cpap machine while sleeping that her intolerance to the therapy resulted in severe insomnia. Citalopram 20 mg/day and 1mg Clonazepam as needed for 10 years prior to her insomnia. Clonazepam was rarely needed. Dec. 14, 2018 Citalopram 20 mg/day was changed to Trazodone 100mg/day. Clonazepam 1mg/twice a day. Mental Health declined due to sleep deprivation, becoming emotionally weak and sensitive, frequent crying, anxiety and ability to function daily declined. Was no longer able to work due to 3 months of insomnia and mental health decline after medication change. Feb. 9 -16, 2019 Psychiatric Ward Sertraline 20mg/day was tried but discontinued due to side effects. 20 mg/day Citalopram was added to the Trazodone 100mg/day. Clonazepam 1mg/ twice a day. Was very ill on the combination. After Feb. 16 – June, 2019 Citalopram 20 mg was discontinued and Trazodone 100mg was tapered and stopped. Clonazepam was tapered to .5mg then switched to Valium 10mg and tapered to 2mg, Buspirone 10mg was added then stopped. By this time insomnia had become extremely severe and ability to function daily on the most basic level was lost. Anxiety was severe and dehabilitating. June 1 - August 9, 2019 Psychiatric Ward Quetiapine 100mg/day added. Citalopram 50mg/day started then after 5 weeks discontinued due to intolerable side effects and switched to Mirtazapine 45mg/day, Fluoxetine 20mg/day, Zopiclone 7.5 mg, Clonazepam .5mg/twice a day. Discharged feeling very drugged. Was able to sleep with cpap machine 7-8 hours/night(every 24 hours) Had regained ability to keep up hygiene and function on a basic level. Mentally was very out of it. Aug. 9/2019 – Nov. 12, 2019 Due to feeling so drugged from Sept. 9/2019 Fluoxetine 20mg was tapered and stopped on Oct. 2/2019. Clonazepam was increased to 1mg/twice a day. Oct. 14 – Oct. 19/2019 felt the best that I ever had felt since falling ill in fall of 2018 but my mind and body felt very weak and fragile but then for no known reason I went past the feeling better stage and started to decline back into having a hard time functioning mentally and physically but could still do daily functioning tasks. I was able to keep good daily hygiene, cook supper, keep the dishes washed, take on a small cleaning task every day for example wash off a coffee table or do wash a load of clothes. Nov. 12/2019 – Dec. 12/2019 Hospital Was admitted at routine doctors appointment to the hospital since I had declined from starting to feel better and I continued to decline during the Quetiapine taper. Quetiapine 100mg was tapered and stopped, Zopiclone was reduced to 3.5mg/day, Clonazepam was increased to 1mg/three times a day After this I started to feel like I was improving as in not feeling so drugged and I was mentally and physically able to function better. I suggested staying on Mirtazapine 45mg for awhile to see if I would stabilize on it and be ok my doctor did not agree so the Mirtazapine 45mg was tapered to 15mg and I was started on Escitalopram 10mg. I was on this combination for the last week I was in the hospital before going into a different psychiatric ward for a second opinion on a treatment. My body felt good no body sensations or pain but a small headache and my mind felt weak but not bad cognitively, my anxiety was mid range level to high. I questioned in my mind whether I should still go to the psychiatric ward and if I could handle living this way and if I would get better but arrangements had already been made and I thought at the time maybe I could get stabilized there on the Escitalopram if it worked and have my ability to sleep maintained. On my initial appointment my husband and I had with the psychiatrist before entering he had said his goal was to get me on only the Escitalopram and hopefully if my anxiety could get reduced I may be able to sleep without and sleeping medication. Being on only one medication sounded good. Dec. 12, 2019 – Feb. 3, 2020 2nd psychiatric ward Mirtazapine was stopped, Escitalopram had just been increased to 15mg/day, Clonazepam was reduced to 1mg/twice a day. Zopiclone was increased to 7.5mg. The first week of being there I felt really good I had no body pain or sensations, my mind was clear but felt weak but I was thinking well. My anxiety was high during the day but after my evening clonazepam dose of 1mg I felt anxiety free and really good but I was getting very tired again as my sleeping had started to decline since the Mirtazapine had been stopped. Escitalopram was increased to 20mg as the next couple of weeks progressed and then I felt drugged and out of it again, not fully present and was no longer able to think as clearly my basic functioning was on the low range but I was able to keep up my daily hygiene and attend groups. Lyrica 100mg/day was started on Dec. 29 for anxiety. Clonazepam was switched afterwards to Lorazepam .5 mg twice a day then shortly after discontinued. I had not wanted to take the Lyrica because the goal had been to have me on as little medications as possible and I did not have nerve pain but the psychiatrist said it was better to be on Lyrica then Clonazepam. Feeling pressured to try it I gave in. Trazodone 100mg/day was started on Jan. 14/2010 and within the first week after that I started to experience muscle pain throughout different areas of my body and developed a constant migraine headache, sweats, chills, ear pain, nausea and constant diarrhea. I did start to sleep longer but could not fall asleep with my cpap machine anymore. Since Trazodone had not worked well for me in the past while being on it and the citalopram at the same time I was not comfortable going on it but the psychiatrist told me he would take me off it if I did not feel well on it. At this point I was not thinking clearly and wanted to not make the psychiatrist give up on trying to get me better and I felt extremely pressured to not go against his treatment plan. I told the nurses and my psychiatrist during the last 3 weeks I was there that I thought the Trazodone and Lyrica had me take a turn for the worst and that I was very sick. I was desperate for them to listen to me but they turned a blind eye and had closed ears to my complaints of suffering. 7.5mg/day Zopiclone still continued but was raised to 10mg/day the last week I was there. Lyrica 100mg/day was discontinued on Jan. 27/2020 with only a 4 day taper. My psychiatrist was not happy that I wanted to go off it because I felt it was making me feel drugged and I thought it was contributing to my body pains and migraine headache. He told me I was to be discharged within that week. He told me to take whatever he wants me to take that week without question. He at the same time as discontinuing the Lyrica took me off my propranolol 20mg, enalapril 5mg, Atorvastatin, reactine. He raised my Zopiclone to 10mg/day and put me on another medication which I cannot remember the name I was told by the nurse when I was given the first dosage that it was an older type of drug that was often given to shift workers to keep them awake during the day. I started the first dose on Jan.29/2020 but only took it the one day because that was the first day after I took it in the morning around 10am I started to experience a burning searing excruciating headache/migraine, tinnitus, hot sweats, uncontrollable muscle cramping over my entire body including my neck and face, my legs and feet went numb and my body pain was excruciating. The nausea and not being able to eat much but digestive cookies and constant diarrhea was the state I was in at the time I was discharged on Feb. 3/2020. Dec. 12, 2019 – Feb. 3, 2020 2nd psychiatric ward I was in treatment trying to get better the psychiatrist put me on all these I got very ill and he took me off the lyrica too quickly which I did not realize at the time and then discharged me sick not knowing what to do and telling my husband and I that I had to start taking my treatment into my own hands and that I had been off and on enough medications in the last 2 years that I should know how to taper and what drugs are making feel bad that he had know idea that I knew my body the best. So my doctor tried to help I was in so much pain and sick (not as much as I am in now though) here are the too fast tapers Escitalopram 20mg Started on Dec.5, 2019 Taper: Feb. 16 - 20, 2020 15mg. Feb. 21 - 26, 2020 10mg. Feb. 27 - Mar. 2, 20202 5mg. Mar. 3 Stopped 0mg. · Reply · 1d · Edited Lyrica 100mg Started on Dec. 29, 2019 100mg. Taper: Jan. 24 - Jan.27, 2020 50mg, Jan. 28, 2020 Stopped 0mg. (only 4 day taper) · Reply · 1d Trazodone 100mg Started on Jan. 14, 2020 100mg. Taper: Feb. 4 - Feb. 14, 2020 75mg. Feb. 14 - Mar. 6, 2020 50mg. (Then paused Feb.16 -Mar.3 for Escitalopram taper) Tapered again: Mar. 6 - Mar. 25, 2020 25mg. Mar. 25 to Apr.6, 2020 12.5mg. Apr. 7, 2020 Stopped 0mg. I'm currently not on another antidepressant this last treatment scared me so much I did not want to start another one. I currently am still on the zopiclone 7.5mg and clonazapam 0.5 twice daily though unfortunately and will have to at some point try to get off those.

Success Story Hi, I hope to be a regular contributor. Here is a bit of background: Throughout high school I was mildly depressed and anxious, which turned into a pretty horrible social anxiety and moderate depression in first year of university. Eventually I left school and was pretty depressed for eight months. I started Paxil when I was nearly 20 in 11/06 and immediately my anxiety and depression seemed to vanish. I returned to school and withdrew my Paxil six months later with no noticeable withdrawal. Two and a half years later when I was 22 I began experiencing some horrible anxiety triggering some gastro issues. I took one dose of Paxil and woke up that night with some sort of terrible panic attack. I ceased taking the Paxil but the panic attacks (flu-like symptoms) continued and lasted hours at a time. I feared that I was dying. Eventually I was hospitalized and put on Cipralex and Olanzapine. My anxiety eventually halted and the Cipralex gave me more energy and motivation than I typically have. Eventually I was labelled bipolar ii because of the initial but short lasting activating effects that some antidepressants have in me. The Cipralex pooped out in three weeks and I was polydrugged for the next four years, including two more hospitalizations in that first year for depression. Eventually my mood and anxiety stabilized for two years on Cymbalta, lithium, and Alertec; however, the fatigue was unbearable. In 08/13 I came off Cymbalta and my mood started to deteriorate (I probably experienced about a month of withdrawal syndrome including insomnia, irritability, brain zaps, and flu-like symptoms). After more polydrugging, I decided that the drugs may be making things worse. At nearly age 27, I came off of Pristiq and lithium. Pristiq brought on a similar syndrome as Cymbalta. I came off of both antidepressants too quickly, however, usually in a matter of a month. I also came off of lithium way too quickly, in about six weeks. As I was coming off lithium I began to feel normal again for the first time in four and a half years. About three weeks after my last lithium dose (02/14) I woke up vomiting. I then had severe anxiety for a couple of days but it lifted in a week. It was replaced by a mild or moderate depression that was, for the most part, quite manageable. I was actually hopeful, had normal energy for the first time in years, and beginning meditation and psychotherapy and thought I might recover. Unfortunately, some bad life events happened: there was conflict in the house that I live in and I ended up living on my own for a while (not a good thing). Worse, however, is that I injured by back. It remains injured and I am now getting some tests done to try and figure out what is wrong with it. I can't walk more than five minutes without it getting quite achey and knotty. Eventually this bodily stress had me thinking thoughts that I was dying again and that my back will never heal. This lead to me to being in a constant state of panic. I was losing lots of weight and my body had been in panic mode for nearly a week. I was terrified. I went to a community crisis centre who I thought might help me without psych drugs -- but they basically told me to go get drugs. I ended up hospitalized (06/14) and was immediately put on mirtazapine and then Lyrica. A few days later the anxiety left and I entered the most severe depression of my life: it was incredibly painful, I could barely move, my voice had no emotion, and I was asking my parents to kill me. The depression would occasionally lift at nighttime and I would be normal again. The depression lifted one morning and was replaced by a depressive/anxious hellish state that did not lift in the evening. Defeated, uncertain how the pain would go away, and pressured by my nurses and my psychiatrist, I upped everything and began lithium again albeit at a lower dose: mirtazapine 30mg, Lyrica 100mg, lithium 600mg. I was discharged from the hospital last week. I feel incredibly discouraged. Before I found this site (and the 10% rule) I tapered 25mg off of Lyrica so that now the Lyrica fog is much more bearable during the day. My biggest questions at this point are: after tapering off of drugs or during the taper for some people, how does one deal with severe panic anxiety or with severe, profoundly painful depression? I am beginning to browse these forums looking for these answers. I fear that there may not be answers and that people just ride through it which takes a lot of courage. I tried to ride out depressions when I was younger but they it went on for over a year and a half before I took Paxil. It is especially challenging as I live in Toronto and I cannot find much support here for tapering off of psych drugs or for dealing with a crisis that comes during or post taper. I am in the process of finding a new psychiatrist, which is quite difficult, as my psychiatrist is as biology-based as possible (he wanted me to have shock therapy in December which is partly why I came off drugs around then as I realized he didn't know what he was doing.) Unfortunately, I still had to see him when I was recently in hospital, which is another trigger. I just never imagined I would be back on psych drugs. The injury to my back is also depressing me. I've gone from hopeful to hopeless in a matter of months. Right now my anxiety is not too severe and neither is the depression. I've read that Mirt has a habit of pooping out early, which is partly why I think every minute is invaluable in determining tapering and eventual crisis. The crisis pattern for me seems to be severe anxiety followed by depression, then maybe a mixed anxious/depressed state. Anyone with similar experiences, advice, or encouragement? The scariest things for me are how to deal with severe panic anxiety and a physically excruciating depression. Thanks for reading.