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I couldn't find the topic anywhere else so I decided to start a topic where people can post any daily affirmations any daily affirmations that they find to be helpful and I will start the list with this: I am healing I am getting better This is all part of the process

Hi everyone. I used to have mild driving anxiety or be a little anxious when out at stores. I went to my pcp and they have a behavioral Health side to it. The NP I saw there swore I am bipolar because I am irritable and have mood swings. I told her I’m irritable because I haven’t slept through the night since my son was born in March 2021 and he still nurses all night. She swore I was bipolar and put me on lamictal 25mg to go up by 25 every two weeks. When I got to 75mg I started having worse anxiety and panic attacks. I went down to 50mg and the panic stopped. I went back to her and she said the anxiety was because I was bipolar and I needed to go back to 75. I did and the same thing happened this time when I went down to 50mg I was still having anxiety and panic. I went to another psychiatric Np and he had me wean the lamictal and start buspirone. After weaning the lamictal I felt much better. I started the buspirone while weaning off lamictal. The first week of buspirone I noticed some heavy brain fog and derealization. I would look in the mirror and not recognize myself. The second week of buspirone threw me into panic attacks and anxiety worse than anything I’ve experienced. I had tremors and vomiting. The NP said to stop cold Turkey so I did. Two days later I was extremely anxious and shaking and sick. This lasted two days. I have been off buspirone for 8 weeks and I am having bouts of severe anxiety. I am still having brain fog and derealization and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I am woken up out of my sleep with a racing heart. I know I am sleep deprived because my son does not sleep but I experience panic at bed time. When the panic gets too bad I will take an ativan but I know this isn’t a long term solution. Could these drugs have caused this? Thank you for your help. I just want to feel normal again. I have taken the ativan four times this week. I’m not sure if I am experiencing a wave or if I should be ok by now. Around October 20 the anxiety kicked up pretty bad for 4-5 days then settled down. The derealization and brain fog is always present. On Tuesday the anxiety picked back up again and is still going today. I am terrified I will never feel normal again and will miss out on my kids lives. I can’t rely on ativan. My new psych NP just gives me more ativan and tells me he doesn’t know why I don’t feel better yet. Lamictal July 6-September 2 started at 25mg and increased 25 mg every two weeks Buspirone august 29- September 14 7.5mg at night Ativan 0.5mg as needed

This was from the notes I kept on my Iphone about my progress. Lexapro/ escitalopram -Started taking in beginning of 2017 when got out of bad situation and was trying to get back into things it did help… for a while -Early 2020 Attempted to cut cold turkey was terrible, had brain shocks, severe depression, barely able to function. My doctor told me there would be no withdrawal. -2020 around September attempted 1 month taper from 20 mg to 0 mg according to old data that “doctors” go off of. After attempting this and having similar effects to quitting cold turkey I found a forum Survivingantidepressants.org, when I started reading I realized all these people went through the same **** I did. -August 2021 went to 20mg to 10 mg stabilized in October 2021, no major side effects besides energy levels -December 2021 went from 10 mg to 5 mg, stabilized in February, again mostly just energy levels affected. -May 2022 went from 5 mg to 2.5 mg, feel good and happy, want to cut down to less -June 2022 went from 2.5 mg to nibbling on less everyday. 6/14/22 attempting to stop taking it all together. First week my sleep sucked but my happiness level started to skyrocket. 6/23/22 went to electric forest with a new outlook and positive attitude. July 2022, I’ve never been happier, have felt no negative side effects from quitting, sleep is a little bit harder off the drug but overall I feel alive again. FREE :)))) My Taper off of Klonopin was less severe but still took about 9 months of steady decreasing in dosage until I was able to kick it. Was only on .5 Mg Dropped to .25 MG last year around October Dropped to .125 Mg around Jan 2022 Leading up to June I was nibbling less and less of it until I was almost to nothing June 2022 I quit I love all you beautiful people for sharing your stories and messages. I hope you have success with your journey, sending hope and love to you all.

I have been on Sertraline (Zoloft) over the last 11 years. These were prescribed by a physician in an effort to treat my GAD/panic condition caused from high stress levels in college. Prescribed within a 10 minute appointment. I was 20 years old. And with no information on how long to take it or how to stop taking it. "Take this, it will help." The medication seemed to work OK for a few years. However, my experience over the last 2.5 years on this medication and with the psychiatry system has been a complete mess. My symptoms of anxiety (and the addition of depression) were exacerbated with many new symptoms and side effects: heightened anxiety, suicidal ideations, uncontrollable movements, cognitive impairment, and many others. I continued to speak to my psychiatrist about all these symptoms and my deep sense that we were on the wrong track. In fact I showed up in tears to the office. I was told I needed to increase my dosage, as I had more than likely become tolerant to my current dose. So as a good patient would, I listened to my doctor’s recommendation- increase from 50mg to 100mg. I increased to 75mg, had a follow-up appointment and relayed that I was feeling ‘OK’, but not great. So, I threw out an idea. How about this? Since increasing isn’t making me “better”, I’m going to reduce and taper off. Do the opposite. My psychiatrist was hesitant, but agreed if I wanted to take that journey then she’d support my decision and want me to continue check-ins. Was I given any advice or direction from the psychiatrist on tapering? Not really. I researched myself. I read many testimonials and clinical trials about the challenges of tapering off medications. I was ready for what I thought might be a very bumpy ride and determined I would decrease slowly over many months. I made myself a plan. Make a reduction every 6-8 weeks, so I have time to acclimate in between reductions. So I did just that. I also journaled my symptoms- physical, mental and emotional feelings daily. It wasn’t a fun process (def had some issues), but it wasn’t all that terrible. The added global pandemic definitely did not help the situation (super great time to come off medication). My last dose taken May 31, 2020. Six weeks go by and I’m doing pretty good. THEN, like a freight train, I’m hit with delayed post withdrawal. The most horrendous physical, mental and emotional pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. Nerve shocks, body aches, headaches, cognitive disorientation, tremors, severe insomnia, panic, crying spells, chest pain, no appetite, extreme anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. Things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Overall I lost 10 pounds. I cried every day. The insomnia got so bad (only slept 2 hrs each night), I was put on Trazodone for a short period. I was in a tailspin. I felt so alone. This lasted a very long 3 weeks. And honestly without my support system, this forum, and my stubborn attitude I don’t think I would have gotten through it. After those 3 weeks, I could feel myself getting closer to the surface again. I still struggled, but each day got a little better. A little more healed. Symptoms still lingered, but things were subsiding slowly. My body working out the kinks. I started feeling real improvements and larger windows at the 6 month mark. Still some bumps in the road, the occasional stress induced anxiety symptoms, but overall better. Every day got a little brighter. I now genuinely know the medication was the culprit in making me ill- inflaming all of my anxieties. Today I have been 1 year 3 months without any medication. Last dose taken on May 31, 2020. I can wholeheartedly tell you it does get better. I feel the best I’ve felt in years. My symptoms have all subsided. I still have general anxiety, but it is very minor in comparison to being on the medication. I have learned so much about myself, my strength and the coping mechanisms/exercises that work for me. And I’m still healing. Everyone’s story and timeline is different, however I hope sharing my experience gives you hope. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You can and will weather the storm and get through this journey. You may not see it now, but there is an end in sight. And it’s beautiful. Keep going. **On a personal note, THANK YOU to those of you that have also shared your experiences on this forum, as this undoubtedly helped me hang on during my journey of tapering and withdrawal.** XX Amber

Hi everyone! I feel now is the time for me to log out and move on. It’s been 16 months since my cold turkey, I’m no longer in dying hell with 100 or more symptoms or completely frightened on getting through the day, but there is still a little more healing to be done, both withdrawal & personal. I was so thankful that the nightmare (acute) period ended, it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.. I feel more frustrated now rather than sick because once you feel more and more yourself and have done the bulk of the healing, but yet aren’t fully there, with a handful of things in the way. you can see and get glimpses of your life again in the short distance but can’t yet reach out to grab it. It’s tough, I’m hoping that with all that has changed up until now I’ll reach that destination very soon. (The pandemic plays a huge part here) Keep going! You’ll not even know how you’ve survived when things slowly start to lift. You’ll be proud of your strength and ability. This needed to happen for me and shockingly I’m thankful for it, and I have learned so much about myself through it, I’m becoming the absolute best version of myself and can’t wait to have my life back, a step at a time. Now I just have the pain of grieving for all of the lost time, and some of the traumatic moments of this visit to hell.. I wish you all the best, have faith.. if I have any advice.. please if you’ve found this website before discontinuing, take on all of the great help and advice on tapering. I know I so wish I had that and this site before then. I’m going to leave now, thank you for giving me and so many others this space, it’s life saving. this for me is already a success, I’m so much better and it’s time for me to close the chapter♥️

MOD NOTE : Siderale's Success Story is here ---------------------------------------------- Hello everyone. I want to start this off by stating that I'm not a native english speaker so if something is unclear in my wording, please let me know! I'm gonna tell my story a bit because I'm hopeful I'm on the right track, but I need to exchange a bit and maybe be reassured. Medication really did help me on many levels. I have had anxiety problems forever, even as a kid although I wasn't aware it was anxiety at that time. It grew worse with teenagehood, saw diffrent therapists, and the only thing that put me on the "healing track" was in 2017, at 21, when I started seeing another therapist who told me I did not need benzodiazepins but antidepressants - to which I answered "but I'm not depressed!", but turns out I did need those antidepressants for anxiety lol. I have also mild OCD/intrusive thoughts, which I wasn't aware of at the time. Long story short: I took Escitalopram for a bit under 1 year, from 2017 to 2018. It really helped me, and we tapered with 1 month on 5mg per day, then 0mg. I had 0 withdrawal syndrome, but sadly relapsed 6 months later with the obsessive thoughts coming back full force. So I saw another therapist (I had moved cities for my studies) and went back on Escitalopram 10mg + cognitive behavioral therapy, from november 2018 to january 2021, so 1 year and 2 months. It went well, I spent the most stable year despite the pandemic and a lot of isolation (I live very, very far from my closest friends). I learnt to accept anxiety and control it (rather than straight up try to suppress it), to focus my thoughts when I have intrusive thoughts, took healthy habits, fixed my sleep schedule. In january, we reduced to 5mg. In february and to mid-march I only took 5mg of escitalopram one day out of two: I did notice at that time I was weirdly tired when taking 5mg one day out of two although I did not change my sleep schedule, but that was it. I figured it was maybe the change of season or something like this. As for right now: I therefore stopped Escitalopram completely around march 13 (I don't remember when I took the last pill!). Things went fine and after one week of calm began what I figure are the withdrawal symptoms, that I never experienced after my first treatment -although I did stop it way more brutally than this one!-. I had a lot of gastrointestinal symptoms (I thought I ate something bad, maybe it's the case, maybe it was both things mixed together..), nausea and trouble sleeping. 10 days after stopping Escitalopram, I had a VERY weird episode of night tremors that I talked about in this reddit post, at that time I was very confused and a bit scared because I never had anything like this before. Luckily this only happened once. But since this particular night, I have general anxiety again, sometimes in big spikes, bouts of crying (my intrusive thoughts come back although I can control them way better than before), trouble eating (loss of appetite). But I figure it is withdrawal because this is not how I was before, even with my then-anxiety. But I keep going : I'm in the middle of my masters' studies with a thesis I'm invested in, exams are coming in a week, I try to go out for a walk every day, I clean around, I do my stuff despite the pandemic and the lockdown. I still feel in control (which is reassuring and helps me looking forwards) but I am "physically" so, so unwell. Waking up with your stomach heavy and your head heavy with unshed, unexplained tears is tiring and still, those are quite "mild" symptoms compared to what I could read in here It's gonna be one month I completely stopped Escitalopram in 2 days, and I know withdrawal can last for much longer, so I'm trying to prepare for lasting symptoms still - but gosh, it's hard. It's so hard. On april 2nd I finally could see my therapist, who told me withdrawal syndrome shouldn't be *that* bad, and prescribed me amitriptylin (because I can take it in very small doses) BUT I did not take it because things were going a bit better and I wanted to believe I could pull through without it, I had 2-3 good days but fell back into this weird state... It seems like my state "evolves" by waves. I am in a huge "anxiety" wave these past 3 days. I see my therapist again on friday - sadly can't reach him before, I live in a very busy city and you cannot contact therapists outside of appointments. I'm afraid he's gonna tell me I should have taken the amitriptylin but for some reason my stubborn self doesn't want it. It seems more adapted to evening/night anxiety and troubles and it's not my case I reckon (but I'm not a doctor!...). So that is about it. I have no idea if this works as a (long!) introduction post. I hope to read about similar cases that hopefully recovered from this syndrome, especially because I am aware that my symptoms are very mild compared to people trying to taper off way longer, way heavier treatments. I wish to be reassured about the mood swings and bouts of crying, the uneasiness. I wonder if temporary but regular benzos could work since it seems like it's mostly anxiety, but I'd very much like to avoid it. I want to hold on to the idea that it'll get better. I hope you all are doing well in your recovery, and wish you a good day! Thanks for reading me!

Hello All, Firstly, I've used this forum before, during and after my journey and it's been very uplifting and informative. I think I would have been lost without it, so thank you. Secondly, I am almost 4 months off Zoloft after 10 years @ 50mg for GAD/panic. I've learned many coping skills and practices that help me manage my anxiety (meditation, cold therapy, wim hof), however I've been experiencing chest tightness fairly regularly lately. It typically lasts all day, but doesn't interrupt my sleep (i finally got the insomnia under control). I exercise regularly, eat decently clean, take supplements (omega3/magnesium), CBD, meditate, but can't kick the feeling of someone sitting on my chest or the feeling of a lump in my throat. I also attend therapy weekly. Last week, I felt great for about 6 days and then it came back on. I typically ignore it and go on with my day, but it lingers on. Any tip/tricks on how I can relieve the tension. Is it possible this is my waves and windows phases?

MOD NOTE : Toulouse's Introduction Topic is here --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello all. I wanted to come here to give my success story. If you go through my first thread called My Paxil Withdrawal Journey, you can see for yourself the misery and pain that I went through, particularly the first 2 years of getting off of Paxil. I had so many symptoms, ones I've never had before. The main issues I had coming off were anxiety and insomnia. I've had dizziness, tinnitus, heart palpitations, intolerance to alcohol, and a new allergy which almost killed me. I used to feel like my brain was 'slipping' out of my skull. It was a strange feeling. and scary too. Numbness in my fingers, hands, legs. Twitching muscles, twitching hands( I thought I had ALS). I thought I was dying. To make things worse I saw a holistic doc who said I had mold illness and put me on these crazy pills and skyrocketed my anxiety and paranoia about mold (it's everywhere btw), it turned out to be false, and I tried to sue the guy, but I wouldn't have made enough to make the lawyer fees worth it. After that, I slowly focused on my own recovery again, trying to be as healthy as I could. I had many windows and waves. Slowly, the windows became bigger and longer. I slowly started feeling like I had a handle on it. Then I'd have a few months of very rough anxiety and panic and insomnia and nearly got back on something. I almost did. But I decided to try to be patient and gave it a few more weeks. I'm glad I did, otherwise, I might have gotten back on another SSRI and still be on it now. But notably, things that helped me were mindfulness meditation and talk therapy. That really helped calm my brain. Now I don't meditate anymore since I don't have anxiety, except for when it's appropriate maybe. I started working out again after that 3 year mark. I started just walking, then I joined the gym and started lifting weights. The old guys were stronger than me, I had grown so weak. But gradually I started getting stronger again, and lifting heavier, doing treadmill work, etc. And eating pretty healthy for the most part (though I still like my cookies and snacks). I'd say after year 3 I was 80-90% recovered. I mean, feeling like my pre-Paxil days. I say today I am 99% recovered. I think there are some residual things, like I still get some ringing in my ears sometimes. I still have an intolerance to alcohol, and the new allergies (but admit, those body changes will likely never go away at this point). but I'm okay with that. Now I cycle almost every day, I go for long rides. I never think of my anxiety, or the pain I went through anymore. It's a distant memory for me and I'm so glad to be here today and able to share my story. Thank you to the moderators for running this site. It was the most helpful tool in my journey out of this nightmare. I wish everyone here the same success I've had, or better, as my journey was pretty brutal for a while there. Peace and love to you all. Toulouse

Introduction topic: ☼-mranxious-3-months-off-effexor-xr-6-years-on Heyyyyyy 😊 I am alive !!!!!! Out there living a life that I am proud of and comfortable with. Pheww I am one of the blessed ones to have breached the other side and lived to talk about and YOU WILL TOO !! That was one hell of a ride. One that is FAR FAR FAR in the rearview mirror 🙃 If you have read my story, you will know that I went through literally the most traumatic event in my life and that was "Effexor Withdrawal". From start to finish I was unsure I would make it through this time, but here I am and let me tell you "Its a process". This will not happen overnight...BUT if you make the right moves, eat healthy and take your vitamins, time will heal, only time BUT everything you do in the mean time will make the difference in the end. Here is what I did : -Increased Omega 3:6:9 daily -Lots of purified water -Maximize sleep if you can and set a goof environment to be able to sleep(No sleeping drugs) -eliminated processed foods and to a whole food plant based lifestyle(THE BIGGEST GAME CHANGER for me and healer I believe* -Cut out all toxic people -light walks/bikes/swims daily(Key word "light". -meditation- daily(Prayer as well daily) -Church -daily mantras "I will heal" "I will get better" "I am getting better" -Reading books, occupying my time -Multivitamin and mineral support tablet I went from being a very anxious person once off Effexor for months and months of withdrawal , to now years later, a fully functional human being again 😎 I fully believe that in order to fully heal, you need to be fully off any pharmatheuticals (Per doctors orders of course, my disclosure) ughh 😋 Oh yes and find a good doctor that will listen to you and meet your needs "YOUR NEEDS". I have found a wonderful doctor and he is all about my plant life and healing and he is all about me living my best life drug free. Whatever you are going through right now, just know it gets so much better. It can takes months to years to recover. Realize this is your journey and a special one. Myself personally believes that god has transformed my old life into my new life and I can't be ever more thankful and grateful. One hell of a adventure but "hey" I love who I am more now and have grown exponentially since this ordeal. I have days where I cry happy tears over the smallest things, butterfly on a flower, old person smiling, to the breeze blowing off the lake , to the food on my plate. I never appreciated it before Effexor and I took it for granted, now it just happens and i love it 😊 I guess it all depends how you look at it, but when things get grim and they will, come back here, read my story and just know you are all in good hands😊 The effort you put out now in the throws of this awful withdrawal, will eventually become the reward you see in your future !!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO RECOVER MY FRIENDS, ALL OF YOU !!!! STAY CALM AND SOLDIER ON, stay safe and always consult your doctor before making any moves and if they don't listen to you : FIND A NEW ONE !!!! But always stay in close touch with them please 😎 This website has been a game changer and so are all the admins* Beautiful hard working volunteers 🧡💛💚💜💖 *Taper, taper, taper your mediction , this is most important, don't rush a taper just because you start feeling good. It will catch up to you, stay the course 😎 or possibly suffer grave setbacks * *Feel free to message me* MR. A

Brooke Hi everyone! I'm thrilled to finally be posting here. I've been lurking here and there since 2016, when I first found Surviving Antidepressants when I was considering getting off of the Effexor XR and Wellbutrin XL I'd been taking from age 15-30. Like so may of you, withdrawal was hell on Earth. I experienced everything from homicidal visions to extreme noise sensitivity to rage to a bizarre blood vessel disorder called nodular vasculitis. Combined with the tsunami of pain and trauma that came gushing out after I removed my antidepressant band aid, and I was a barely functioning, terrified mess with no psychiatric support. I was lucky, though, to have some resources outside the traditional mental health system that helped me work through my experience, and today I am proud to say that I consider myself cured of chronic depression haven't taken a prescription drug since 2016. It's taken me until now to actually participate in the forum because I needed to know that I was in a solid place. So much of the internet (I'm looking at you Twitter...) can be a triggering environment, and had to make sure that I could mentally handle it. But I trust in the work I've put in, and I'm ready! I say all this not to boast, but to wave from the distance and do my best to act as an example of success. I know that when I was in withdrawal and working through all the trauma, I would have done anything to know that there were people out there who were thriving after spending half their life on antidepressants. Instead, it felt like I was in uncharted waters. I wrote about this for the Washington Post earlier this year, and the flood of support and stories I got in response was overwhelming and heartbreaking. Anyway, happy to answer any questions, and much love to you all. Brooke

Hi All, New to the support forums here. Have been in withdrawals for approx 8 months from taking an herbal supplement called St Johns for around 8 years or so. In August of last year I had a health scare and when I was at the hospital I was told to stop taking St. Johns Wort immediately because it would interfere with the medications they placed me on for blood pressure. Not knowing any better I cold turkey quit taking them. I was ok for the first month or so, but as time went on I started having all of the classic withdrawal symptoms that are mentioned here. Anxiety, depression, DP/DR, memory issues, cog fog, digestive issues, heart palpatations, hot flashes and cold chills, intrusive thoughts, confusion, blurry vision and many more. I still experience these symptoms pretty much daily with the exception of a window for a few hours or so maybe 2-3 days a week. Wanting to join the forums to reach out and keep in touch with others who are going through this process to support each other and help keep motivated :) Also, I am constantly reading the success stories and reminding myself that healing is taking place and even though the healing feels like it is taking forever, I hold on to hope that one day I will be healed. I know that God is helping me through this process and I hold on to the hope every day for a positive outcome! Ken

Hi All I was a member of Paxilprogress.org several years ago; that site and its wonderful members helped me wean off Paxil in 2009 and I remained a member until the site closed. I have since been managing my anxiety disorder through regular therapy and using CBT tools. I view anxiety and depression as a chronic condition like diabetes; it can't necessarily be "cured" but it can be successfully managed. I've had my ups and downs over the years but I have to say I've had a great life. This past September, my wife and I retired early and decided to move from California to Portugal for a few years so we can explore Europe while we're healthy enough to get around. It's a beautiful country and the people are very gracious, but I do find my anxiety has increased due to cultural changes. I'm hoping to join a group similar to Paxilprogress where I can share my story, lend some support, and just spend some time with folks who understand what its like to live with anxiety. Thanks!

Hello all, Apologies in advance for the length of this post – it’s essentially a combination of an introduction and a success story – I know that members can only post success stories after a full year off all meds – I’m seven months now off all meds and am feeling far better now than when I was taking pills so I reckon it’s only a matter of five months before I post an actual success story. I was given a diagnosis of bi-polar by a consultant psychiatrist in the autumn of 2011 after years of volatility in my mental health and began taking meds six months later. I started with Lamictal (Lamotrigine) – after a few weeks on a low dose, the dose was increased – the next day I noticed a rash all over my body and stopped taking it. I was then given Abilify – I was on this over for a month or two but stopped taking it since it caused me insomnia and really intense pain in my wrists. Next, it was Olanzapine/Zyprexa (5mg) to deal with my elation – the 5mg worked well but when the dosage was increased to 10mg and 15mg, it caused nothing but depression so I went back to 5mg. I was then given Prozac to deal with the depression side of things – this however, caused me the worst depression I ever experienced. I was on it for a bit over a month until I could take no more and stopped taking it. My psychiatrist then prescribed me Venlafaxin/Effexor in September 2012 – I started at 75mg and eventually made my way up to 300mg. As the dosage increased, my depression did get better but the side affects most certainly got worse – constipation and intense sweating in bed at night. Also, I always felt the medication was causing me brain fog, despite what my psychiatrist was telling me – ‘all these meds do is treat depression’, I was told and basically, how limited intellectually I felt was in fact an actual reflection of the abilities I was born with. I was really getting fed up the side affects and decided to do what a lot of people in my situation do – come of the meds without telling my doctor. I slowly tapered down the anti-depressant but came off the Olanazpine quite abruptly – result, disaster. The depression came back in a big way. Around this time, I remember one sleepless night lying in bed just saying to myself over and over – ‘I just want to die – I wish I had the courage to kill myself’. Went crawling back to the psychiatrist in July 2015 and told him the truth – needless to say, he was quite annoyed but prescribed me Cymbalta/Duloxetine (60mg) and agreed to reduce my dosage of Olanazpine to 2.5mg. The Cymbalta no doubt stabilized my mood at that time – I was pretty down low, as you can imagine. Once again, I felt it was limiting me but after the volatility I had experienced, I was happy for a bit of stability. In the summer of 2017, I began to learn a lot about the affect diet and exercise can have on mental health. Up until that time, I thought I ate and exercised healthily – how wrong I was. Over the course of around a year, I completely changed my diet and exercise regime – I experimented a lot and ended up with my current diet which is essentially a Mediterranean diet – meat, dairy and eggs a few times a week but primarily plant based food – all unprocessed and organic. A lot of my free time now is spent cooking and preparing food. After I started with Cymbalta and before I changed my diet and lifestyle, I felt that my depression/elation cycle was going on in the background but the medication was keeping it in check. As my dietary and lifestyle changes kicked in, I began to feel that the cycle was longer there – I was essentially stable. I got married in July 2018 to the woman who stuck with me through the diagnosis and all the mental volatility over the years. Immediately, we started trying to conceive – I really wasn’t mad about the idea of trying to conceive while I was on medication – I know that women are advised to come off meds before becoming pregnant and I wondered if my own meds could have an affect on any potential child I conceived. Did a bit of research – heard a bit about meds possibly causing fertility problems but nothing about meds causing birth defects etc. For a number of months after the wedding, we tried hard to conceive with no success. Consequently, I made the decision to start tapering. Not surprisingly, my wife was initially reluctant given what happened previously when I tried to come off meds – this shook my confidence a bit but I really believed that I could cope this time round, given the dietary and lifestyle changes I had made. Unlike the previous time, I told my psychiatrist who to my big surprise, did not object in the slightest. He initially suggested that I stop taking the 2.5mg of Olanazpine altogether – he told me that according to the research, 2.5mg has no real anti-elation effect – it only really aids moderate anxiety and sleeping. I genuinely believed that the olanzapine was indeed helping my sleep so I decided to continue taking it and instead drop the Cymbalta from 60mg to 30mg at the beginning of November, 2018. I was on the lower dosage for three months – I didn’t notice any major withdrawal affects during that period. Consequently, when I saw my psychiatrist three months later, I suggested to him that I stop taking the Cymbalta altogether – once again, to my big surprise he was very supportive. I continued to take the Olanzapine for another month – I had planned to stay on the Olanzapine for three months but given what the psychiatrist told me previously about 2.5mg not really having any anti-elation affect and given how I hadn’t experienced any major withdrawal affects up until that point, I decided to come off completely at the end of February 2019. A part of me was worried that my sleep would go to hell without the Olanzpine but once again, I really believed as long as I stuck to my diet and lifestyle, I would eventually enter into a natural, healthy sleeping pattern – this transpired. Also, around four or five weeks after I ceased the meds completely, I started having definite withdrawal effects – my nervous system seemed to react and consequently, I felt very edgy and jittery and my concentration levels went down significantly – obviously, work was quite difficult during this period. This was quite severe for around five weeks and then gradually started to diminish. I fully expected some withdrawal affects so they did not surprise me one bit when they came. Once again to stress the point, self-belief was hugely important at this stage – I just knew that as long as I stuck to my diet and lifestyle – essentially, the way I was designed by nature to eat and exercise – the withdrawal affects would pass and I would reach stability. I am now off all meds for seven months and I’m feeling good – still not one hundred percent but a lot better than when I was on medication. The Cymbalta didn’t cause me major side affects but I realised when I completely came off it that it contributed to some minor side affects which I wasn’t really aware of – my skin improved (I’ve always had problems with acne), my gums stopped bleeding when I brushed my teeth and my hands didn’t dry up so easily the way they used to, for example. I still have a bit of brain fog which is a bit frustrating but not unexpected – I started taking meds in mid 2012 and ever since, I haven’t felt as if my brain has been operating at its optimal level. I do believe this will come back with time – I just have to patient and allow my brain to adjust fully to the meds being completely out of my system. I should also mention that for most of my life, my brain has not being operating at its optimal level - for the most part, since my early adolescents I’ve been miserable and it wasn’t because of some chemical balance in my brain which would have been triggered no matter what – I had to deal with some personal problems which were really inhibiting me. Like my medication, those problems have been put to bed – I’ve been married for over a year and if everything goes according to plan, I’ll be a father at the end of November. As I mentioned above, I stopped taking the Cymbalta at the end of January 2019. In mid-April, my wife found out that she was eight weeks pregnant, meaning she conceived around mid-February, two and a half weeks after I stopped taking Cymbalta. Maybe ceasing the Cymbalta didn’t have any effect on my fertility whatsoever – in any event, I’m delighted I don’t have to go down the IVF route! I have no problem saying that I have the bi-polar gene. I experienced all the symptoms and those closest to me can verify that. However, I don’t consider myself mentally ill and do not believe that I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain. As long as I live the way I was designed to live, my bi-polar gene will be completely suppressed – it simply won’t be an issue. For the most part, I believe that the symptoms I experienced were in part simply a reaction to all the things I was doing wrong – my diet, my exercise routine, my work environment, my past relationships etc. I plan to keep my bi-polar gene suppressed for the rest of my life and in order to do that, my life is going to be quite mundane – no substance abuse, regular moderate exercise, healthy sleeping patterns and I’m going to have to continue to spend a hell of a lot of time cooking and preparing healthy food. However, I will take ‘mundaneness’ any day of the week over mental volatility and side affects from psychiatric medication I’ve had to endure over the years. Having come through all that, the stability and contentedness I’ve found are all the sweeter – ‘spring would not be so welcome, if we didn’t have to go through winter’. Once again, apologies for the length of this post – I promise my subsequent ones won’t be as long! As I mentioned above, I feel my brain still isn’t operating at one hundred percent after seven months of all the meds so if anyone can provide me with some advice in relation to this issue, it would be greatly appreciated. Many Thanks Francisco

Success story: cocopuffz-11-years-on-paroxetine-its-nothing-but-a-bad-memory-now-i-am-now-free Hello, I am new here. I really appreciate everyone posting their stories, struggles or successes. It helps me understands what I have been through WAY better. I was on paroxetine(20 mg) for 11 years for social anxiety. I was told by my psychiatrist that it would be "a vitamin I take for the rest of my life". Little did I know it would rob me off all my emotions in life. Over the last 11 years I have had a decent amount of "we dont know why this happens" health conditions. I now look back and blame alot of it on this drug. Since coming off of this drug my health conditions have improved, but some of the withdrawal symptoms kick my butt here and there. Reading the success stories, I know these will get better with time. So I am keeping my nutrition dialed in and my attitude positive. Thanks!

Gato123's success story can be found here: Healing is possible: My "success" story I have been on some form of SSRI since 2002 as a result of a deep depression that was directly related from having started birth control. I started taking birth control and within months was incredibly depressed. I was started on Wellbutrin and have been on a whole range of SSRIs, SNRIs, and benzos. I've been on Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Adavan, Xanax, Cymbalta, and more I'm sure I just don't remember at this point. I was advised to taper from a high dose of Cymbalta too fast (I went from 90mg to 0 in four weeks). I went into a horrific withdrawal. HORRIBLE. Twitching, neuropathy, tinnitus, suicidal ideation, major depression, crying spells, crying and then laughing, my whole body was sore, joint pain, etc. I was miserable. After living like that for a few months, I was told taking Prozac could help lessen the withdrawal. I started on 40mg of prozac and while the withdrawal symptoms did lessen over time, I don't know if that was due to the Prozac or just time passing. In February 2018 I started to taper from 40 mg of Prozac. By April 2018 I was completely off and feeling better. I had been doing the Whole30 and resting a lot. By August I was feeling out of control. From there the withdrawal was back...ringing in the ears, skin is burning, joint pain, swelling in knees and feet, crying, incredibly depressed, suicidal ideation, and just sore all over. I am not sure whether it is best to go back on the Prozac at a small dose or taper at incredibly small amounts later on or keep going without drugs at this point.

Hi all, this is my first post on this forum I am confused and am looking for some advice regarding possibly tapering off of St. John's Wort. I was put on SJW by a naturopath back in June (2018) to help ease the withdrawal symptoms of tapering off of Paxil (10mg) which I had been on for 10 years. I basically began tapering off of Paxil starting in Feb 2018 and I believe I went a bit too fast; I definitely started to feel all of the typical WD symptoms once I got down past half of my original dose and by June (at the end) I was feeling pretty crappy. I went to see my naturopath who put me on a supplement to support mood (Thorne product "Mood Plus") which contains 100 mg of 5-HTP and 100 mg of GABA, 400 mg of L-Tyrosene, 100 mg of Rhodiola, and 100 mg of ginseng among other, more minor vitamins (including b12). She also gave me St. Johns Wort and told me to take one 400 mg capsule 3 times per day (total of 1200 mg) . I can't really say that I felt a huge difference in my mood after starting these supplements (nor that I do now), but I think there was some 'lift' to my spirits, bearing in mind that other factors that boosted my mood may have been the fact that it was summer, the sun was shining, and I was going on a big adventure in July (trip to Morocco). The one thing I have noticed since June / July is that I have had a lot of trouble with sleep. It is hard to really tell if it is the SJW though because there have been some good nights of sleep...and there are so many factors that influence mood and sleep. Generally speaking, my 'withdrawal symptoms' tend to be more on the anxiety and agitation end of the spectrum as opposed to depression... recently, I have begun to wonder about the SJW and if that wasn't causing or at least exacerbating my symptoms. I spoke with my naturopath just the other day and she said that this should't be the case and I should keep taking it (it has been basically 5 months now). She said that SJW is calming and most people really derive a soothing effect from it. But, after having read things on this site re how the sensitized nervous system can have different reactions to things versus the 'typically functioning' nervous system, I still have my doubts. I am also more than a bit peeved to read that SJW can cause withdrawal symptoms if it is stopped too abruptly. Given the hell the past few months have been after coming off the Paxil, I am not keen to go through another 'withdrawal saga'... I don't know what to do...should I keep taking the SJW? If not, how would it be best to taper, given that it has been 5 months on it? Right now I have decided to only take 2 capsules (so 800 mg) per day and only up to 1 pm...maybe that's too much of a drop, but I don't know how else to do it since the capsules cannot be cut. I figure I can do this for a few weeks then go down to 1 capsule..? Again, I am not sure it IS the SJW that is causing me symptoms, but I feel like I need to minimize what I have in my body at this point so that it can regulate / heal itself. Any advice / thoughts would be much appreciated. Oh, and BTW, when I asked the naturopath about tapering off of SJW she said she had never heard of people having adverse reactions to quitting SJW cold turkey...sheesh! Thanks!

Blujay's success story: bluejay-i-survived-you-can-too Hello Everyone, I was pretty much amazed and so thankful when I stumbled upon this website a month ago. I read so many posts from people going through the same challenges as me and I am so grateful to get feedback and support and optimism from those who actually know what it is like to come off anti-depressants. So first off, thanks so much for reading and helping me with your advice. I'll try to make my story quick. In 2009 when I was 28 years old, I suffered a vertigo episode and noticed I was constantly dizzy. I went through many tests, brain MRI's and the physician assistant I saw told me he could 'fix crazy' if none of the tests showed anything. We;; guess what? I was apparently crazy! (sarcasm) Mind you, my boyfriend and I had recently separated, my dog had died, I had moved, my friend co-workers switched to a new job and I had a new position at my job--lots of stress. He never explained therapy, CBT or anything. He said I'd need to be on it for life that I was anxious and it was my nature to need the medicine. So I was prescribed 10 mg of Celexa and .5 mg of Klonopin. I did not take the Klonopin everyday. Around 2011 I was upped to 20 mg of Celexa. In 2016 the meds didn't work and a new doctor wanted me switching. I began to wonder if I could manage life without them since I went 28 years without them in the first place. So I also wanted to get pregnant. A year a a half ago my dr said get off the pills in two weeks. Online, I read about horrifying things if I did that with extreme withdrawls so I made my own taper. Honestly I can't remember exactly, but it took me 6 months to go from 20 to 10 mg then I stayed on 10 mg for 6 months to stabilize and then I weaned from 10 mg to 0 in 6 months. A total of 1.5 year taper. Unfortyuantelu had I known about this site, maybe my taper and experience woyuld be better now but the last month of my taper I was at 2.5 mg and felt great, was looking forward to summer and so I stopped the meds. This same week I had a pelic/back injury to my SI Joint. So I went into a spiral of panic from the injury and I feel like my well planned taper backfired. I spent two months going from several doctors to get a diagnosis on my back and so I was freaking out about my back but all the while this heightened my anxiety and my depression. I've been off the Celeza since mid May 2018. I still have a 15 pill prescription of Klonopin that I only take a 1/2 dose if it is extreme and have only taken about 5 pills total in the past 5 months. I've been having many symptoms and the most hard to deal with currently is the feeling as though I cannot breathe. I looked it up as dypsnea. I feel like the only way to fully breath is to yawn very deeply, but that doesn't always work and I still have such tightness in my chest. This has been going on for about 2 months now and I can't figure out how to get past it. Also my jaw gets so tight and I get a lump in my throat. I also have wobbly shaking legs, jitteryness, some dizziness, shaking hands. My thoughts are very dark, I am constantly thinking about death, not hurting myself, but the sadness of things ending and not seeing those I love. I feel like I cannot be happy. I am crying so much even about silly things like undercooking salmon the other day! I feel hysterical but also, I am going to work, putting on a clam face, driving to my three therapies a week (two PT and one CBT) so I am doing a routine but it is so hard. I wonder if this is my new normal or will I level out and get a grip and feel better. Currently because of my anxiety and my injury I can't possible have a child and at 37 years old I really feel like I don't know what to look forward to in my life. I just don't know how to deal with stress and not let it take a hold of me. I'm the type of person who likes to plan and well, that's a bad thing when you don't know how your future looks. Meaning I guess I realizing how boring life can be at least this is how my outlook is on life right now and I am frustrated by it. I am also thankful to be off the meds, too, though because I feel like I am fully analyzing my life and realizing I need to make more positive changes like eating healthy, doing hobbies and not relying on my boyfriend to make me happy, but this is a slow change and I am someone who wants results so fast. I'm scared, honestly because I really don't want to live on anti-depressants and though I've been off of them completely since mid May 2018, four months, I hope things improve and am here to help others with my story and seek help from you, too. Thank you so much for reading my story and I wish you healing and love. Any suggestions or advice will be so GRATEFULLY appreciated!!

Hi everyone. I would much prefer to have never known this existed, but here I am and I'm grateful to find others that understand this pain. This will be a long story, but if you could read this it would be appreciated. Let me tell you a bit about my story. I'm currently 23, and was prescribed Lexapro (10mg) when I was 19 for some health anxiety I was having (3.5 years on it). I began the medication and moved away with my partner. I never felt the medication changed much, just masked my emotions a bit. A few months ago I spoke to my doctor and told him I wished to stop lexapro, and I reduced to 5mg for a few weeks, then stopped. Things were going okay for a few weeks but then I was having some severe light sensitivity and shaking a bit, my doctor and I decided I should go back onto lexapro (10mg again), which I did but something felt off. I didn't recognise my own left arm and freaked out, at this stage I had been back on lexapro for 10 days. I told my doctor I didn't want the medication and he told me to wean off for 5 days then stop. I did this, and felt okay, but 3 days later It all spiraled. I walked into my house and sat down to watch a movie, when it felt like a younger version of myself had entered my head, it felt like I was 2 people at the same time, next thing I know my head is spinning, I'm crying, shaking not knowing what was happening. I became depersonalised from my own body, had what sounded like a helicopter in my head. Had ringing in my ears, disassociated from every part of myself and was jolting all over. This was happening for 4 days, and I had no idea what was going on. My partner drove me to the local emergency room and the doctor there stated I was experiencing severe withdrawals from Lexapro, and I had 2 options, either restart lexapro 10mg or wait it out. I let my parnter and mother make the decision for me because I couldn't, and was put back on 10mg. After 3 weeks of being on 10mg again, I could function, but felt really unnatural in my own body, still couldn't Identify my emotions, couldnt cry about it and felt trapped. I knew I needed to get off this drug, and weaned down to 5mg for 3 weeks, once I weaned to 5mg I began having sleep paralysis, crying again, jolting in time, horribly vivid dreams, night sweats, extreme emotions and distorted memory function, I lost 10kg over the 3 weeks, and began having psychosis. Hearing voices in my head saying incoherent things. Having visual disturbances when I was trying to sleep, became fearful of peoples eyes. I had to stop the medication completely because I was terrified of it. I went and spoke to a psychiatrist which didn't believe all of this was happening and said it's a bad case of anxiety. I was really frustrated and distressed. I stopped lexapro completely 5 days ago, and the voices in my head aren't there anymore (I may get one or 2 when trying to sleep) and the visual hallucinations have almost gone also, the fear of eyes is no longer there, but now I'm crying every day, and am fearful of what the day brings. I really struggle to identify who I even am and what is normal in my head and what isn't. I found a great psychologist whom is an ex drug addict and believes what's happening is real, which really helps to have a medical professional on my side. I have a great support team which helps too, but I don't know what to do next. I go walking and wonder why I'm on a walk. My memories don't feel like memories but more flashbacks. Now I need to be honest, for the first time in my life I have contemplated suicide because I don't know how I can get through this, but I do make sure I call someone when I have these thoughts. I've noticed having a bath and listening to motivational speeches about creating your own reality and how your brain can recover from almost anything is helpful, but the slightest insight from anyone who has had even a remotely similar experience would be really appreciated. Thank you for reading this.

Hi everyone. I've been browsing this site for a couple of years and thought I'd finally join. I'd love to be able to talk with others about what I'm going through. I'm only 22 but I've pretty much been through every hell imaginable in terms of SSRI use (I started when I was 5--not by choice, obviously). It really frustrates me because I never even chose myself to go on these medications, I had very bad tantrums and anxiety as a small child and a psychiatrist put me on them. As I got older, instead of being told to get therapy and try getting off them, she just kept raising the dosage. By age 12 I was on the maximum dose even though my problems weren't that severe. I remember being in middle school gaining weight, feeling tired CONSTANTLY, just not feeling like a kid at a ll, and at the time no one thought that the medication could be the reason for it. It's so upsetting because I feel as though my entire life up until this point has been taken from me and Ill never experience what it's like to be young and happy. Like I said I never showed depressive symptoms before the medication but as the dose was raised I would occasionally get depression symptoms. When I was 15/16 I was switched to celexa which actually "worked" quite a bit better for me, I lost a lot of weight and felt energetic and motivated, but by the time I was 18 I really wanted off of these drugs that weren't even my choice to go on. However, as I learned the hard way psychiatrists don't have a good understanding of what's required for a successful taper. I was then on 40mg, and she lowered it all the way to 30, and then quickly after that to 20. This all happened right before I went away to university for the first time, so it was just horrible timing. My first month of college I noticed I began to feel severe chest pain. I didn't know what was happening and it was very scary. My entire freshman year I essneitllay spent in severe burning pain all across my chest and upper back. I would be doubled over crying for much of the day because of the pain. I went to see SO many doctors about it but they all said I was perfectly healthy and it must be from anxiety or just 'in my head'. I had to leave college after my first year because of the pain. By this point I was completely off of the celexa because I didn't know what was happening and I thought the pain was being caused solely by the drug itself. But the pain didn't get any better, it got worse. I basically spent the next 3 years (not an exaggeration) bedridden crying in pain. I cannot even describe in words how severe the pain was. And the problem was no one even considered that it was due to withdrawal because every doctor I went to said no, withdrawal wouldn't cause pain like that. So it was just a constant 'search' to figure out why I was having this mysterious pain. Even when I went back on the celexa to see if it would help, it wouldn't get rid of the pain, but I believe that's because (as I later found), the only way to get rid of it is by going on the HIGHEST possible dose because that's the highest dose my body was accustomed to. Finally last year I tried Zoloft out of desperation (I was missing my whole youth...I feel like my situation is a lot different because I spent 18-21 bedridden in pain. I know I could "wait it out" a few more years...but I'm missing my entire youth, a period fo my life I won't get back, and I don't know how much longer my college is going to let me take time off. I should have already graduated by now :(. It's so painful to be in so much pain while other people your age are having the time of your lives.) So even though I hate these medications, I tried Zoloft in a desperate attempt to just be out of pain and be able to move forward with my life. By the time I reached 150mg my pain went away completely (after 4 months on it), but of course I have other side effects on it I do not like like loss of creativity (I want to be a musician, and I love art), not feeling emotions as deeply, and almost feeling like your'e living life in a fog. To be blunt I don't feel "myself" on it. My individual spark is gone. But, I was just so desperate to get rid fo the physical pain. Anyway I made a freaking stupid decision in May to go off of it. At this point me and my doctors still didn't 100% make the connection between the pain and withdrawal, it was just a 'theory'. I thought my pain could have lessened because I had a boyfriend and friends now, was in school, feeling better, was out of pain to the point I was exercising consistently, etc. Well, nope lol. All of my pain returned this month. I'm back to being in bed with pain I'm in a huge dilemma because I know from past experience the pain DOES NOT go away. It's weird because I don't have any mental symptoms from going off the medication. I don't feel any more anxious/depressed/etc. The symptoms are all physical for me. It's just the most severe pain imaginable. I'm sure it's some type of nerve damage because it feels like burning knives stabbing into me..no words can describe the pain. I just want the pain gone as soon as possible, but I know if I go back on the medication I have to say goodbye to who I am as a person and my musical talent. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like I said, I have already missed so much of my life. I don't want to be bedridden from pain anymore 😞 It just hurts so much. And it's not even my fault because I never chose to go on this medication!! I feel like I'm screwed for life, and will never have a full life devoid of both pain and of the medication. What if I just never adjust to being off of it because I started so young? I just hope some people here can offer me advice on how to eliminate it without having pain like this. I just cannot stand the pain... I'm sorry this is so long but like all of you, my story is long! To make it easier if someone is just skimming, withdrawal symptoms include - severe burning / stabbing pain in upper back, chest, shoulders - occasional hip pain and inability to walk because of it - digestive problems (extreme bloating, heartburn) - lightheadedness when standing up at times - basically feel like all my nerves are on fire - chest tightness 24/7

Hi all, in a bit of a dilema here. I was prescribed Mirtazapine in October 2017 for a severe bout of anxiety and depression. Within about 1 month I saw great progress. After 4 months i decided to taper. Im 28 and dont want to be on ADs longterm. My taper: 15mg for 4 months 7.5mg for 40 days 3.7mg for 10 days 2mg for 7 days (Smaller doses were innacurate) Initially upon stopping i had bad stomach pains, this went after 4 days and I spent the next 3 weeks feeling great. Then boom! Something triggered me and I was sent straight back to feeling super anxious. Since then ive been having 2/3 week waves of sevre anxiety, insomnia, loss of appetite. Ill slowly recover, feel good for a few weeks then relapse again. Now its been 3 months off mirtazapine and im worried that I have caused permanent damage from the drug for tapering too fast. Would I benefit from reinstating this late on? I dont know how many more of these waves I can handle. Each time they rock me to the core and I consider hospitilisation. Im not suicidal like I was when I had my first anxiety episode but need some answers. Im back doing CBT again with my therapist and starting exposure therapy to my triggers. Any advice welcome!

supahset-i-can-finally-say-ive-made-it I went to the doctor for chest discomfort. I got a chest X-Ray, blood work, and an EKG and everything came back fine. My doctor thought it could be anxiety related. So she prescribed me Lexapro, 10m daily. I took this everyday for about 3 weeks, and tried to keep an open mind, but the drug wasn't doing anything for me, felt no different other than some side effects. I noticed weight gain an irritability. I decided this wasn't for me. When my doctor prescribed this to me, she did so with no hesitation, no warnings of side effects from taking it, absolutely nothing about tapering, and certainly nothing about letting her know if I wanted to stop the medicine or that there were going to be discontinuation symptoms. One week after stopping the medicine, I had the first panic attack of my life. We called 911 and I was checked out and was told I was fine. Paramedics told me it was probably because I stopped the Lexapro cold turkey. The following week was okay, but I started to get some general anxiety. A week after my first panic attack, I got light headed out of no where and then panic and anxiety symptoms sank in. I went to urgent care with my wife. They did another blood test, a full torso CT scan with contrast, a saline IV drop for fluids and electrolytes, and some benadryl to try and calm me down. After my second panic attack, I started getting pretty bad general anxiety and BAD health anxiety. I mean EVERYTHING felt like it was going to trigger my death. Random thumb twitch? ****, I'm having about to have a seizure. Random arm or leg numbness? Omg I'm having a heart attack. Even now, I have some dizziness, head pressure, and eye pressure and it's hard to shake the thought of having a brain tumor, even though I know how unlikely that is. It's been 5 weeks and 1 day since I stopped the Lexapro cold turkey. I feel like I'm progressively getting a tiny, tiny bit better every few days, these waves are hitting me hard. I went back to the same doctor last week and explained all of this and she basically told me that I'm full of ****, that all these symptoms are nothing, that Lexapro / SSRI discontinuation symptoms aren't real, and if they are, they only last for a few days after stopping, definitely not for longer than a week. She even prescribed me ANOTHER SSRI (this time Zoloft)... I'm switching primary care doctors now, and will continue to switch until I find a doctor that knows what I'm going through is real, and will actually listen to me. I just went to a cardiologist a few days ago to make sure my heart palpitations aren't something I need to be worried about. They had me do a stress test on a treadmill while taking my blood pressure and constant EKG, and the cardiologist called the same day to say everything was A-OK there. That same day, he strapped me up with a 48 hour Holtor monitor (a heart monitor that you wear and carry around for a certain number of days). I turned that back in yesterday and the cardiologist will call me back in about a week with results. About two weeks ago I started taking some supplements to try and combat some of these symptoms. I started taking fish oil (3 times daily), vitamin-B complex (once daily), and a magnesium complex (once daily). I've also tried to clean up my diet. I used to drink about 25-35 drinks a week (beer, wine, hard liquor, whatever really), though I did drink less while actually on Lexapro. I completely cut out alcohol of my life 14 days ago today. Woo-hoo! I also started taking a full spectrum CBD oil (twice daily) a week ago. It has almost zero THC in it, and the effects on my anxiety are LIFE changing. Unfortunately, anxiety is the only thing the CBD oil has targeted. Since taking it, my appetite has come back as well. But I'm still experiencing many of my other symptoms in waves. I know I was only on the Lexapro for 3 weeks, which compared to other people's 3 months on, or 1 year on, or even 15 years on, is such a negligible amount of time, but I feel it was long enough to rewire and screw my brain up. I just want this hell to be over. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences based on a short length of taking the SSRI or stopping cold turkey and being able to stay off and get better?

So since last 8-10months until 21st april this year i(24years age)was rebellious because of physical and mental torture by my parents.Actually they are just a bunch of uneducated socially backward people.I shouldn't have expected much from them.This 21st april they say you are the cause of our troubles(i used to argue against them for them being too unreasonable in treating me like an animal)and took me to an indian psychologist.The psychologist for their monetary benefits put me on 1 mg risperidone for a week and also threatened my parents and me that i am the one who is illogical and trouble causing person in our home quarrels and must be forcibly given these tablets(God our indian society those psychologists even didn't listen to any what i got to say just took report from my parents).So i stayed on them for 2-4 days and developed mental and physical retardness.(I am being specific of retardness because i researched on wikipedia that these tablets actively reduce 2 brain hormones namely dopamine and serotin and our brain only produces about 50 hormones!).So on feeling extreme weakness i researched on web and after 3days left taking risperidone.Now my parents thought i will again become rebellious against their inhumane behaviours so they tried to force me different antipsychotics from same practitioner.But this time i was clever and searched the whole web how even these antipsychotics and antidepressants work at molecular level.And determined my parents being highly backward villager people who just want whatever they feel i left home and quit risperidone suddenly ie cold turkey.Now i started living alone for a month in another region doing odd jobs but feeling psychologically a lot better to be away from inhumane treatment by parents.Even today the withdrawal symptoms are real bad.After 25days i arrived at this website and learnt a lot from you all people.According to you all i will recover in 12-14 months and this alone gives me hope.Today i am a new person socially and financially independent(almost).Never will i ever reach out to my backward parents or such people.I learnt majority of us all people were misdiagnosed on such antidepressants and only a little simple guidance from a good hearted elder to be financially and emotionally independent from inhumane people could have helped us all escape from such risperidone kind tablets but alas life is not always meant to be so!

Hi, I am also in Seattle and stopped all Effexor 30 days ago, although I have been tapering for 6 months. I have been on some form of these pills since I was 8 years old. I am definitely experiencing these cortisol spikes in the morning and moment of panic. How are you doing? Is there a support group for this you have found in the area? It scares me that people are saying it takes years to get through this. I wonder if I can manage this for that long, and I am only at the very beginning.

Hi my name is Sean and I'm currently coming off of prozac and trifluoperazine. I had taken 10mg of prozac and 5 mg of trifluoperazine for about 3 weeks. The meds made me gain considerable weight (10-15 lbs in 2 to 3 weeks) and I felt numbed out so I stopped them cold turkey not knowing about withdrawal side effects. I started experiencing withdrawal effects about a week into stopping (dizziness, lack of concentration, memory problems) itching, and they have been getting progressively worse, with fluctuation in symptoms. It's been 3 weeks now and at this point I have a fever, (not sure if I have the flu or not but it feels like I have a bad flu), racing strange thoughts (to the point which I've never experienced before) fatigue (sleeping until about noon some days), lack of motivation, and the same concentration/memory issues. Since it's been 3 weeks I'm wondering if I should try to go back on a low dose of anti depressants or if I should just try to ride this out and hope it subsides. Thank you in advance.

Hi Everyone, I want to start off saying by what an incredibly tough journey we're all going through... and I'm sorry for all of us here... These drugs were advertised to help our mental health; when in fact it damages our brain, especially when used for long periods. I don't even know what to see, other than the fact I feel pretty hopeless after reading so many articles about brain damage that these drugs did to us (mainly SSRIs). I tried stopped this medication in my mid-20s but eventually relapsed due to the terrible withdrawal symptoms. This time around in May 2017, after reading and acknowledging what these drugs do to us, seeing my drive and passions slowly fade away since I started, I decided it was time to stop poisoning myself. Currently, I feel these effects every day: 1) cognitive problems involving memory , learning, and focus 2) apathy, and lack of anyenjoyment for life 3) deterioration of emotional wellness, and unable to handle stress I am currently 30 years old, but feel my brain has rotted immensely. I truly was a talented individual growing up, was always quick witted, fast, and excelled highly in my activities and passions. Now I feel like I have cognitive function of a mentally disabled person. I feel so hurt, and angry and hopeless about what has happened... that I allowed myself to take this poison for ~10 years, listening to doctors that didn't really have an IDEA about the damage that these drugs could pose in the long-run. We are the guinea pigs that have to suffer, and there does not seem to be an end in sight. This makes me wonder if I have to start my medication again eventually to not feel like walking death every day I wake up. I'm trying to fight this... but there is just more and more recent data about what these drugs do to us long-term and I believe it has caused me brain atrophy... Please, I would love to hear some feedback and Idk, can we start fighting these Big Pharmas or are we just a big experiment for them to profit from? Regards, Ethan (PS: If there is any other info you guys which me to provide, I can do so gladly.)