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  1. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  2. Thanks for reading its a long story bear with me. I’m 2018 after horrible pregnancy and birth and surgery I was placed on 50mg of Zoloft for PPA. Looking back it’s wasn’t anxiety I was physically just exhausted. Get little fuzzy here because my memory sucks. But at some point in 2020 I started forget to take my meds so missing days here and there. To the point Id only remember to take them around my cycle when my PMDD started up. I was feeling great so I decided to stop taking them. I’m thinking that was around the beginning of 2021. In October of 2022 my PMDD symptoms come back (or could have been withdrawals idk). So I started back up on 50mg of Zoloft. After second pill I started feeling feelings (now I know it was anxiety) I had never felt before and chest pains. Went to urgent care for them and did EKG and everything was fine. So I went home and continued taking the Zoloft. The anxiety started working its way into mild panic attacks. I message my GP and she says just give the meds time. December comes and I have check up with my GP and she asked how the anxiety I tell her is the highest it’s ever been ( seeing how I never experienced intense anxiety or panic attacks before). Should also state my life is great no stressors. Great family and very supportive friends. My GP decided to up my dose to 100mg. This is where I go from barely functioning to not functioning. Day 2 of the 100mg I was in full panic nonstop all day all night. I couldn’t sleep couldn’t eat. Chest pain was so bad i was rushed to ED by ambulance. I was in cardiac distress. At the ED they did full cardiac work up for hours. Said I was stable go home follow up with cardiologist. Not even 24 hours later I beg my husband to take me back. This time I demanded them keep me. I hadn’t eaten or drank in days I couldn’t move my body. Finally after. Long ED visit they decided to admit me to the mental health department. This was a Friday. So Friday I didn’t not take any Zoloft. Saturday they get me settled in and with no psychiatrist on that weekend they has to call one in which didn’t come until Sunday. So at this point I hadn’t had Zoloft Friday or Saturday and slowly staring to feel better. So I talk with doc on Sunday and she puts me back of 50mg of Zoloft. I take it mid morning and by that evening I was in full panic again. So the doctor the next morning cut me CT off the Zoloft. She diagnosed me with SSRI induce panic disorder. She decided to place me on gabapentin to manage the PMDD symptoms. After 2 days I was feeling good and sent me home. 3 days into gabapentin I started have tremors. I was told to wait it out take 4 weeks for it to start working. After 22 days of more hell. I finally told them I was weaning off. Researched new doctor and found one I love. Should also state started seeing a therapist just after release of hospital. I was in really rough shape on the verge of going back to the hospital every day. So my doctor prescribed Ativan .5 mg as needed to help calm my nervous system. I have PTSD from taking the Zoloft so starting meds are a real struggle. I final took the Ativan on a really bad day and that did help. I currently only take as needed because I’m afraid of becoming addicted and going through more withdrawals. For most part things have been manageable until my PMDD kicks in around my cycles. At these times I get severely depressed with intrusive thought. (Again nothing i experienced before the Zoloft). My new doctor is a holistic and a medication specialist. So last cycle we upped my b12 and folic acid to help with the cycles. It has help some with symptoms but still are so terrifying. So shes suggested trying buspar as needed around my cycles. This is the first med she ever suggested to me. She know I have PTSD from Zoloft. So that brings me up to today where I’m sitting 10 weeks off Zoloft wondering if I should try the buspar or will that restart my withdrawal symptoms. I’m sooooooo scared. I have young kids and feel like I’m watching them through a tv and not present at all. I hate all this so much. I have hard time leaving the house and can’t be left alone. I feel so bad for my amazing husband and kids. Thank you for reading this far. kelsears
  3. Hello community! I'm glad to be here both to give and receive support. I'll keep my history short as there is so much to read here. I have almost always been on antidepressants from the age of 11, with one quick attempt to get off in 2013 without success (because I went off without supervision or information about withdrawal effects, and because providers advised I go back on and continue to be on for the rest of my life). At that time I experienced "brain zaps" nausea and a lot of anxiety and depression. The prescription of the drugs were for symptoms of OCD, social anxiety and depression. I have enjoyed a life full of lovely experiences despite anxiety and depression, although those have followed me along the path. I recently finished a Masters in Social Work, and am working as an outpatient therapist myself. I decided last year that I was doing really well, even with all of the changes in my life, and decided to go off of meds. At that time I knew about the importance of tapering, but had not heard of the 10% rule, and so discontinued at a slow pace, but one which here would be described as a "fast taper." I have been off of zoloft for almost 1 year (about 9 months) and continue to experience moderate depression. Of course, there have been many changes circumstantially that could contribute to this, however the physical symptoms - heart palpitations, panic attacks, insomnia, extreme fatigue, dry eyes, and occasional suicidal thoughts, would point to withdrawal as a factor at the very least. These complicate the process involved with becoming a therapist. Being new to this field is difficult on its own, with constant question and self-doubt, and in some ways I kick myself for trying to get off of these meds at this time. Feeling chronically fatigued and anxious does not allow me to be with clients in a way that I would hope. On a weekly basis I consider going back on, or trying something new, because there are times I feel I cannot go on this way. I feel it is negatively affecting my relationships with others and with myself, and has taken away the vibrancy and color of the world around. Then I wonder, am I still adjusting to what life really is like off meds? Is the world simply less colorful? Or will the color seep back with time and continued patience? Scarier thoughts include wondering whether damage has been done since I was on these drugs for so long (age 11-28)? And that I will always be a shell of a person with little energy or enthusiasm about life. Being a Narrative Therapist, I would say to myself, "I am not okay with this" and when answering the question of "why not?" I would say that it is extremely important to me to feel engaged and enlivened... because I know what that feels like... I am not okay with life being devoid of color and contentment. I hope here to meet those who have been through this and have come out the other side to find freedom, whether they have chosen to go back on medications, or whether they have persisted through and found that indeed there is an end to this, or whether they have found peace despite continued effects. I'm interested in all of it. Amanda
  4. I have been off Sertraline for over four months now, after having been on it for about 3 and half years. Previous 4 years or so I had been on other medications. Is diffcult to comprehend and explain in words all that is going on, but my whole psyche has been completely overturned in these years, and I do not know to what extent the various medications have caused me this. I suffer from the severest OCD,and anxiety, and now I think depression, and sheer terror at all my subsconscious thoughts which have completely taken over my whole mind. I have been imprisoned and castigated in my own mind. It is beyond explanation what is occuring on a millisecond basis. I seem to have entered some moral vortex, whereby I feel as if I am always doing wrong. Constantly confronted with "Heaven and Hell". Constantly feeling compelled to undo things, which for example I have written like here. Damned if I do or if I don't , this doesnt explain 1% of what is going on. It has brought into the fore the reason for everything and existence. I really have no idea what is going on, terrifies me the idea that no-one can have any idea of what is going on in my head. Yet on the other hand everybody is in my head, I don't know who is in my head and who isn't. Everything I say in my head is being judged. I will not go any further for now as I am terrified of writing, and also it may not be entirely pertinent to the subject. Unfortunately it only comforts me to a certain extent to know that others are experiencing their own hell, and I feel guilty in turn for the fact "that others suffering should comfort me', as I have entered some abstract Universe which seems to have its own laws. the ridiculous thing is that in the end what seems "right and wrong" seems to be determined by feeling and not some sort of formula, and I feel guilty in turn for thinking that, and also "convinced" on the one hand that it should be formulated and on the other "know" that it isn't. One of the main reasons for writing this post was the guilt and fear of punishment, or fear of damning others, especially close ones for benefitting from reading others stories and not contributing my own. To clarify alot of this stuf was going on when I was still on the Sertraline, and perhaps, in a different way when I was on other medication, difference now is that I am that so much more fragile.
  5. Hello, I quit drinking alcohol 11 years ago and a doctor at that time thought the anti depressant Zoloft would be beneficial for my "anxiety" from quitting. This is how I started using these drugs. It has taken me forever to finally quit. I'm a 43 year old male. I've quit Lexapro 2.5 mg 24 days ago and have had the worst three day stretch to date. I feel extremely tired and fatigued. I feel symptoms of brain fog, memory failures, cognitive decline, crying spells, sadness, slight headache, head pressure, eyes tired, some body ache, and slight brain zaps. I'm trying to stay positive and day to day but this is brutal. I feel like a zombie and would just want to sleep. I also have mild sleep apnea in which I have started using a cpap machine a week ago but have found no relief. I think I'm going to stop using the Cpap machine for a month to rule out the machine being the cause for recent three day stretch. I want to believe that the withdrawal symptoms are what is causing me to feel this way but I'm unsure now. I have always had some of the described symptoms on a day to day basis before. These symptoms went as far back as the last two to three years. They weren't nearly as severe. I haven't heard of anyone having the described symptoms as a result of actively taking the antidepressant drug. If this is something that can be confirmed I would feel much more at ease as I would have to wait out the withdrawal process. I guess I am looking for words of encouragement and hopefully some validation that these symptoms are from the withdrawal and this is a normal process. Last night I started myofacial exercises as an alternative to the cpap. I know it will be sometime before I see any benefit from them. I also ran 2 miles yesterday. This morning I practiced some Pranayama and will continue this daily. I'd appreciate any feedback and thank you for reading my story. Matthew
  6. Hi all, would appreciate advice if anyone else has had a similar experience I've recently stopped venlafaxine. Now 6 weeks off after tapering down to 37.5mg over a few months then stopping completely. Prior to that I had been on venlafaxine for 8 years doses between 150mg and 75mg. I stopped as felt flat on it and that did not need it any more. first few weeks I had bad physical symptoms - flushes, sweats, nausea, vertigo, brain zaps, nightmares and shakes. In the last week I've had intense panic episodes/general feeling of dread. Incredibly tearful, ongoing insomnia and severe feeling of restlessness despite feeling exhausted. My doctor has put me on 50mg of sertraline in the hope it helps. Has anyone else had this experiencing with venlafaxine and came through the other side? I'm starting to lose hope of ever feeling normal again.
  7. hi My name is Karen, I’m 46 and been on and off Zoloft since age 16. i was off once in my 20s and 30s for about 6-7 years and that was a hard and horrible time. Then I went back on about twelve years ago and have been on them ever since. I did lots of work cutting out alcohol and smoking plus now I’m non dairy, non gluten, low grain, high protein (as much as possible) with a ton of supplements for a mast cell disorder and osteoporosis. Fourth months ago I started tapering very slowly from 200 mg and just this past month I started having nightmares, high REM asleep, sleeping 10-12 hrs on weekends, horrible PMS, nearly got fired because of my crazy impulsive antagonistic behaviour and am driving my best friend insane…she hasn’t ever had mental health issues like this so she cannot relate very well even though she is generally sympathetic… today I went back up to my full dose. I got scared because I have been feeling suicidal and so “off” that I was feeling that I wanted to die. I was not going to act on it, I was just having ideation. But…I finally realised my tapering is not working. I HATE depression, well, for obvious reasons. I can stand physical pain much better than the pointlessness, worthlessness, anger, and despair that gets on me when I spiral down. in that four months, I only tapered down to 165 mg so I think it was slow enough… what did I do wrong… im so tired.
  8. **TW: mental health/“s” Hi all, My name is Sarah and I’m a lifelong AD user and have used benzos for 10+ years. Decided to be an idiot in a state of panic & quit both meds CT. Scared of being judged but everyone here seems nice & people on Benzos Buddies have been so kind. Current prescription: 2 mg Xanax XR/day 100 mg Zoloft/day Quit cold turkey 1 months ago & having awful withdrawal - severe anxiety/panic, neuropathy/crawling ants sensation in limbs, cannot concentrate, restless, suicidal ideation, SEVERE tinnitus/zapping in ears, brain zaps (separate from ears), etc. Went to Dr way too late (around 21 days in) and he would not discuss taper. Wanted me to reinstate no changes except dropping to 1 mg Xanax XR. Said I wasn’t withdrawing despite vomiting for days straight at the beginning. Said you can’t go though long withdrawal no such thing - tried to explain but was told I’d need to find a new Dr if I don’t reinstate as planned. Don’t blame bill entire I was non compliant and I’ve messed up w meds before. Was uncomfortable w/ his plan so made appt w new Dr. Problem is soonest appt is 8/31 - I should have tried harder to find someone else that had sooner appts. Psychiatrists are usually booked about as you all know but I should have tried. Have gotten variety of responses regarding reinstating benzos. Some say reinstate/taper, some say don’t get back in bc it’s been a month & kindling is a issues and you will have to go through withdrawal again w/ taper and it might not help symptoms would even make worse. Was told to post here regarding Zoloft since it’s an SSRI. Does anyone mind sharing their knowledge on pros/cons of reinstating and safest say to do it? Regret ever starting it was on Prozac and I was fine but experienced acoustic trauma which has left me housebound and my meds weren’t keeping up w increased anxiety. Went against junk guy and switched to Zoloft. I think it might have had role in spiking my tinnitus to insane levels when I quit. Might have been the benzos too. Was desperate for relief so I switched. Should have found another solution. Upset that no Dr said anything about me being on these meds so long. Had no idea Xanax was built for short term - why did they let me stay on and even increased my dose w/ no warning!! Thanks everyone, and I truly appreciate you and any advice you have. Afraid this will never end and I’m on the edge of losing it. Already housebound now it’s 100x worse. It’s self induced torture and I’ll never forgive myself for the CT. I KNEW BETTER. Best, Sarah
  9. Firstly hi, i wish someone can guide me, may 2021 i started on paxil 10 mg then 20 mg to the end of mars then i switched to zolof 50 mg then 25 mg but it gave me insomnia and lost my appetite so i switched to lexapro 5mg after 7 weeks on zoloft.. Lexapro always made me lose my appetite so i just stopped then i got into withdrawal so i used prozac to get rid of them after one week like this : one week 5 mg prozac One week 2.5 mg One week 1.25 It got rid off dizziness and zaps but nauaea it still there after i finished prozac ( when i was on it i didnt have much appetite too ) Its 10 days ago So what should i do now plz help me Tough it out ? For how long ? Or reinstate lex 2.5 mg but it will make me lose my appetite anyways Can i taper if i wasnt stable on it and still give me side effects ? Plz help and opinions and thanks..
  10. Curious to know if anyone can give me their thoughts on my situation. My GP gave me Celexa at the beginning of February for general anxiety...very mild. I took the Celexa for 2 days and it made me few worse. She switched me to Paxil (took 5 days) and it did the same. I had panic attacks, felt like I was coming out of my skin, etc. I then went to see a psychiatrist, hoping he would give me advice on going the natural route. He said he thought SSRIs were not compatible with me, but suggested I try Zoloft. I really didn't want to, but he promised me it would be worth the shot. I took it for 11 days and on the 10th day, began having unwanted, depressive thoughts. He asked me to immediately stop the medicine, so I did. I had taken 12.5 mg for 5 days, 25 mg for 5 days and 36.5 for 1 day when I stopped cold turkey. The unwanted thoughts and anxiety increased for about 2 weeks and last week, began to taper some. I'm 3 weeks into being off them meds, but the depressive thoughts have not diminished. I was never depressed or experienced anything to do with mood swings or depression before SSRIs. I know what I am dealing with has to be my chemistry trying to balance out, but it's miserable. The doctor says I should be back to normal by week 4, but I'm struggling to have confidence in that...especially since he didn't think the Zoloft would mess me up in the 1st place. I feel like I've really messed myself up. I just want to be back to my normal self like I was before all of this. I don't like having thoughts of hurting myself or others...it's not me and I want it to go away. I would love advice or thoughts from anyone with similar situations.
  11. Hello, First of all, I'm incredibly grateful for this site as it has really helped me to navigate my process of attempting to go off both Zoloft and Trazadone. Before recent taper I was on an SSRI (and briefly an SSNRI) for over 22 years in total. I titrated down off Zoloft over a 5 month period (starting dose 50mg). It was challenging but I was able to manage (I'm aware that I may have done this too quickly). About two weeks after my last dose of Zoloft 6/19/23 (I used liquid to go down to 1mg before discontinuing) I began experiencing GI distress that has been persistent since (daily diarrhea, nausea, stomach pain). For the past four weeks I've been experiencing tachycardia, arrhythmia, dizziness, some issues with breath, significant anxiety, and panic symptoms (which are not a typical manifestation of my anxiety). This is complicated by the fact that I (most likely prematurely) started titrating down off of Trazadone. I've been taking 100mg for a few years nightly for perimenopausal sleep issues. Some of the more intense heart rhythm issues and anxiety started up after I lowered my Trazdone dose (I did not use the 10% rule and went down 1/4 which I now realize was too quickly and I had not given my nervous system to adjust to being off Zoloft). Because I did these changes close together it's hard for me to have a sense of what is happening. I do believe I'm having protracted withdrawal symptoms from Zoloft the are probably being compounded by adding the Trazadone taper. So, my main question here is about whether or not reinstatement of a low dose of Zoloft (even 1mg) might be advised based on these symptoms and the amount of difficulty they are causing me. Or would it make more sense for me to go back up to 100mg Trazadone (from 75 - ongoing dose for years - or possibly less) to see if this helps. The level of anxiety I'm experiencing in addition to dizziness, heart rhythm issues, and GI issues is becoming incredibly difficult to manage along with normal life stressors. Side note: I do have an appointment for an EKG, heart monitor, and other lab work to further explore heart issues. Thank you for reading and I hoping this message is clear/makes sense!
  12. When i started using zoloft and how i became clean. i started using zoloft in 2017 at 16 years old. now since june the 6th i came clean. what i experiences was weight gain . brain fog, and zombie feeling. impossible to break certain patterns. Worsening depression. now spark in the eyes after year 2 hormone imbalance that caused breast growth it was slowly, first i barely noticed anything only after year 2 i started noticing bad things happening. The decrease and tappering of from zoloft was pure hell and nothing more, i experienced depersonalisation, mania, worsening depression, dizzeyness, alot of mental stress, racing toughts. from 25mg till 10 mg i barely noticed anything, only when passing 10 a slightly discomfort until 5. then every mg down was a 2 days of hell. Withdrawl symptoms i got. Heavy mindfog. Depersonalisation and dissacotiation POIS like symptoms after sexual intercourse(mild) no libido or extreme high libido, racing toughs(alot) Autopiloted/impulsive behaviour. now i finally came clean, i noticed slight improvements. Positive outlook on the future, less brainfog (only after dopamine detox) Spark in the eye returned. breast growth decreased alot. Depersonalization goes away sometimes. i started to recognize my toughts again. My libido came back. Extreme rise in testosteron But i'm now about 6 weeks clean but i still suffer sometimes alot of these symptoms mostly because of dopamine rushes or anxiety, and confrontations. Heavy brainfog Racing toughts depersonalization and dissacotiation Depression and negative tought patterns Very impulsive behaviour and emotional. Agression especially towards my doctor or zoloft manifactioner it feels almost as if i became dumber or something. atleast it feels like it. My question is how long until my brain is completly healed, and how long till i can have dopamine rushes again? it goes better but i get these waves/cycles sometimes, but after the waves i see this light path that i hold on to and i feel awesome for a few moments of the day or the whole day. Almost bipolar. This is my first post, and i'm also not from a english speaking country. but i truly want to have advise or tel people my story
  13. Dear all, I took Sertraline 50 (French name for Zoloft). for only a month and I have developped PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) following a too fast withdrawal. I read the story of some of your members who had PGAD when they withdrew from an antidepressant and their stories looked like mine and gave me hope and I hope they can confort me and assist me because I am in a very dark place. I read the stories of Hopefull anf Broken. Are they still on the forum ? How are they doing ? Until December 2016, I had never taken any antidepressant or a benzo in my entire life. I was leading an happy life with my husband and son in the West of France. We had a chemical accident in december. I mixed 2 products while cleaning my house, bleach and a cleaning product with acid and stupidly burnt my lungs and got a toxic choc on the 27th of december. My doctor thought I was anxious afer the accident and put me on Xanax 0.25, half a pill at night. I took it for a month in January 2017 and was sent to a psychiatrist who put me on Lisanxia 10, a pill a day. I felt suicidal because i didnt understand I was suffering from the Xanax withdrawal the doctors kept changing the pill without any tappering, I stayed on Lysanxia 10, a pill a day the whole February , then another psychiatrist decided to put me on Bromazepan 6 (4 quarter a day). I stayed on Bromazepan the entire March and he put me back on Xanax, all of that cold turkey. And that how I met my worse nightmare, the Sertraline AD: I was feeling very agitated on benzos, my lungs and entire skin were burning and everybody told me it was in my head. I didn't agree so I was hospitalised againt my wish in a psychiatrist hospital. There, they made me stop my Xanax 0.25 cold turkey and put me on Sertraline 50. This happened on Easter monday 2017 (April 17 th). After 2 weeks, I was sent home and started feeling very ill, I had tremors, agitation, fatigue, shakes, flu like symptoms and suicidal thoughts. I went to see a GP who told me I could drop the Sertraline to 25 because I had only been on it for 2 weeks and I could slowly stop it. I went on the 25 pill and then I started having violent withdrawal side effects (I don't know which ones came from Xanax or from Sertraline) : My symptoms : Sensitivity to light and smells, burning skin, hyperacusis, agitation, akathisia, tinnitus and when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started peeing every 10 minutes, got a hyperactive bladder, terrible pains in my genitalias, bladder and pelvic area and the worse of it permanent arousal. Since I have kept the tinnitus in my left ear, the akatisia and PGAD. I was sent to another mental hospital at the beginning of June because I thought they could help me with PGAD. They put me on Risperidone for a week while they made me stop the Sertraline very fast (they made me take it every 2 days for a week then they replaced it with Anafranil 25 that I kept for a week. My tinnitus got worse and my PGAD stayed the same. I was getting sicker and sicker so the psychiatrist stopped the Anafranil and the Risperidone and I was put back on Xanax. I am now back at home, my PGAD symptoms are terrible and I am considered manic and hypocondriac. My doctor wants to put me back in a mental hospital. I can't look after my family and Iam in a very dark place with suicidal thoughts My 3 main withdrawal symptoms : high pitched tinnitus, agitation and PGAD. Pins and needles in my lower back, legs and arms when the PGAD crisis start. . MY PGAD symptoms : Overactive bladder, ongoing arousal sensations in and around the genitals, having to go to the toilets every 10 minutes, pelvic pains, Pins and needle, shaking. It is atrocious and it makes me suicidal. I take 3 Xanax 0.25 a day and a Zopiclone 7 to sleep. I cannot sit because the symptoms get worse and I can barely walk because my bladder hurts. I spend my days crying on my bed with an ice pack on my lower parts. At night I cannot sleep well because of the tinnitus. I went to see an urologist, I had a cystoscopy done and they told me it is not an interstitial cysticis and gave me Lyrica (I am scared of taking it because I fear it will make my tinnitus worse). Nobody knows this symptom in France and people think i am crazy. Thank you for reading my story. Please can you reassure me ? I am terrified and I am suffering greatly. Would it go away ? Is it a withdrawal symptom ? Thank you so much for having this site on the internet. It gave me a lot of confort. Cathyfrench (I am french so I hope my English is not too bad, my apologies for my grammatical errors)
  14. Hello, I’ve been reading and trying to learn from you all for the last few months. With my daughter’s permission, I’d like to ask for help. She’s at college and I’ve been working to support her and to try to stay in front of what’s happening. She’s 21, but thankfully is allowing us to help her navigate this. I’m reaching out to you all for support. She’s decided she'd like to try to reinstate Sertraline after being completely off since April 25, 2023. (She was on for 5 years.) She took 6.25 mg. this morning. I understand this introductory post may take a few days to hit your community. I mainly wanted to open the line of communication/ support for reinstatement. Sertraline Withdrawal: We didn’t figure out that she was experiencing withdrawal until she was 2 months off of Sertraline. We assumed it was the stress of a summer internship that she needed to push through until we googled what sounded like odd symptoms. (Burning in her shoulders and a constant pit in her chest that seemed new/ odd.) She’s done her own research and has questioned the timing of her intense symptoms emerging. The concept of doctors not fully understanding has been really tough for her to wrap her head around. (It does help her a bit to know that doctors in the UK are starting to taper differently.) We were trying to avoid reinstatement and having to go through this again– but I’m worried we may be at the end of her time window to reinstate at 4 months. More than anything, she’s tired of feeling crummy and just wants to feel better. Sertraline Use and Taper: She began taking Sertraline 25 mg in 2018 at age 17. When that was tolerated, went up to 50 mg. Dosage increased to 75 mg at some point a few years in. (Neither of us recall the specifics of why she went up.) In March 2023, she decided she wanted to go off Sertraline. She felt happy, confident and wanted to know who she was without the meds. We supported this and didn’t think too much about the process– other than we knew she needed to taper. Tapered under Nurse Practitioner in an established Dr. office in her college town: 75 mg for 2 weeks; 50 mg for 2 weeks; 25 mg for 2 weeks; off April 25, 2023 **She reported a headache while tapering, but this resolved. She seemed mildly not herself/ irritable when she came home for a few weeks in May/ early June. It occurred to us it could be going off Sertraline, but she said she thought she was experiencing more highs and lows– and this seemed reasonable. Then she left for an out of town internship. June 12, 2023– she started working variable days/ nights in a high stress environment. On her 1st night shift, she said she was worried about staying awake and drank a ton of coffee. Huge influx of symptoms began: Round #1 Symptoms: Nausea/ Vomiting a few times; Insomnia; Anxiety; Crying; Loss of appetite; Constant “pit” in her chest; “Burning,” uncomfortable feeling in shoulders; “Burning” in arms and legs. **Mornings were the worst, but things sometimes let up by the evening. June 27th, she messaged her Nurse Practitioner (from college) who prescribed Atarax as needed. She took it once, felt better briefly and then immediately worse as soon as it wore off. I started googling her symptoms and we started to realize this could be withdrawal. Around this time she started taking Benadryl at night (based on reading this helps with AD withdrawals) and this seemed to help. July 7, she left the internship, came home and stabilized quite a bit. She wasn’t 100%, but her trajectory was promising and we thought the worst was over. August 8th, I took her to a Functional Doctor who suggested she take a supplement in our efforts to keep making her stronger: Contents of CereVive and dose: (In addition to Vit C, Vit B 12, Vit B 6, Niacin, Folate, Magnesium and Zinc) Inositol: 1 g; L- Tyrosine USP: 400 mg; Mucuna Pruriens Extract (10% L Dopa): 400 mg; 5-HTP: 150 mg; L- Theanine: 100 mg; Gamma Aminobutyric Acid (PharmaGABA): 100 mg Influx of symptoms came back within 3 days of beginning the supplement. We cut the CereVive in half one day, another ⅔ the next day and off. Unclear if it was the CereVive that caused the wave or maybe she wasn’t doing as well as we thought. It has felt like 2 distinct healing periods. She stabilized a bit and hoped time would do the trick again. She went back to college and is functioning/ getting to where she needs to go. Overall not great though– and actively seeking a solution to feel better. Round #2 Symptoms: same as before + new ones: Tingling and/ or burning in arms; burning in neck with numbness in arms; lack of concentration, increased crying, decrease in appetite, feeling like she can’t breathe, a bit of despair that this is happening again. This week, my daughter messaged her Nurse Practitioner about reinstatement and was prescribed 25 mg. of Sertraline. Dosage for reinstatement: My daughter agreed to cut the pill into a ¼ (6.25 mg.) She’s using a pill cutter for consistent portions. I asked if she could split it into an ⅛ and she said the pills are too small and this seemed to overwhelm her a bit. I’m thinking that ¼ is the best we can do to also keep it manageable for her. (Open to input and ideas how to go smaller if that's better. Or is it too late and we need to stick with ¼ pill?) I sent her a scale to try to get smaller portions, but I sent the wrong one at first. Another is on its way but again-- we're balancing her being overwhelmed. She did not ask the Nurse Practitioner for liquid– and given how she managed the initial taper, I’m not sure she’s the one to ask. I honestly don’t think it’s realistic for my daughter to make her own liquid at this point. Symptoms since starting 6.25 mg today: dry mouth (resolved), headache (resolved with Tylenol). Some negative symptoms that caused her to reinstate may be getting somewhat better. Still a bit of burning in her arms and she's exhausted but can't nap. **My daughter said the headache feels the same as when she went off. Kind of in the back of her head. (I don’t know what significance this holds.) Supplements/ Medicines she’s still using: Benadryl when physical symptoms are bad at night; Probiotic; Allegra; Midnite (Extended release melatonin); Magnesium Glycinate ;Vitamin D3 with K2; Fish Oil: Omega MonoPureA 1300 EC. I know this is a lot and I appreciate any help and feedback. My biggest concern is that I feel like she’s the wrong doctor and a crummy day away from starting a new medicine. She’s very strong minded and was really thriving before all of this. She was really excited about being off the Sertraline. Crossing all fingers and toes that the reinstatement (followed by a gradual taper) will work. In addition to practical help, I’d welcome any prayers or good thoughts anyone would like to send her way. MommaJ
  15. I was on Celexa 20 mg. for 10 months in 2015 for generalized anxiety disorder and mild/moderate depression, which hit me suddenly at age 65. Felt good enough to taper off over 32 weeks with no withdrawal problems, but 6 months after last dose, symptoms of anxiety and depression were back with a vengeance. Started Zoloft 25 mg in 2017 (probably should have gone back to Celexa). Increased dose to 50 mg within 4 months. Didn't like the way it was/wasn't working and didn't want to increase the dose. I'm really fearful of what these drugs can do. Tapered down to 12.5 mg over 19 months by 3.125 mg increments. Felt good until I hit 12.5 mg, then felt terrible and had to go back to 25 mg in August, 2019. Admittedly, I wasn't consistent in the tapering intervals. Some were 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 weeks, etc. depending on how I felt at each dose. I have been with a CBT therapist since 2017 which has really helped. Anxiety practically gone, depression is mild, but not like before. I really want to be off the Zoloft. Haven't slept well in 4 years and worry about what it's doing to my sleep patterns and who knows what else. I take supplements to help - phosphatidylserine, magnesium, omega fish oil. So.....I am now tapering again. Went from 25 mg to 21.875 over 10 weeks (decrease of 3.125 mg because that's the easiest way to cut my pills into quarters and eighths.) Just reduced again to 18.75 on April 14 and plan to stay there for 10 weeks. (My theory is it can take 4-12 weeks for an INCREASE in the dose to start working, so the reverse could also be true.) I think I'm sensitive to small changes in the doses. My question is - is 3.125 mg too large of a taper? I can slice my pills smaller with a scalpel if need be. Looking for advice about how to make this taper work so I can be successful this time. Any recommendations for doses and time line would be helpful. I don't care how long it takes, although at age 71, I don't want to take forever! Thanks so much!
  16. Hey there, I'll try to make my intro a bit shorter but its still kind of long. Was put on Effexor 150 XR at age 15 due to anxiety and depression (my mother is narcissistic and I developed a lot of self hatred from it. Older brother is also bipolar and made my life hell). Took that med until I was 28 (13 years). Worked with a nurse practitioner (for psych meds specifically) who tapered me off over the course of 2.5 months (waaaay too fast) by taking the little beads out of the capsules. My meds pooped out and I didnt feel I needed them anymore. Did great for 3 months, then my anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks, followed by depression. Insomnia due to anxiety, no appetite, emotional shutdown. Was put back on 75 mg and then raised to 150mg again, but since I had seen how vibrant I was without these drugs, I hated being on them. After moving across the country I asked my new doctor to move me down to 75 mg. I felt less flat but the anxiety was bad. Moved back up to 112.5 mg, but felt "meh" about everything. Tried Pristiq 25 mg for 2 weeks and was moved to 50 mg. 5 weeks in I had a horrible reaction-- anxiety, depersonalization, sweating, diarrhea. I didnt feel real. I told my doctor to lower me. Tried 25mg for 6 weeks. Still had diarrhea and apathy at 25mg. Was moved to Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks. I told my doctor I wanted to stay at 25 mg zoloft because I didnt want to become an over-medicated zombie. She said 25 mg wasnt a high enough dose to treat me, and I trusted her more than myself so I increased. After 3 weeks was moved to 50 mg. After 3 days on 50 mg I started being really spacey, dizzy, feeling like I was in a dream. Had insomnia. I would feel better every day as the med wore off closer to my dosing time. Felt like I wasnt real and didnt care about anything. My doctor said to wait until 5 weeks to see if my symptoms improved. I said no and told her to lower me to 25 mg. Stomach was still so bad after the debacle with the Pristiq that I had dropped 17 lbs at this point and needed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, where they found nothing was wrong. 1 week after reducing to 25 mg Zoloft my stomach started improving. It wasnt a slow taper, she just had me half my tablet. I've been on Zoloft (Sertraline) 25 mg for 18 days as of writing this. Throughout my journey I've been moved up and down doses of Effexor every 2-3 months, I got to experience effexor withdrawal and new side effects from the pristiq at the same time, and I got to experience pristiq withdrawal and zoloft side effects at the same time. I'm currently having headaches, dizziness, apathy, and some sexual issues. Stomach is better but not 100% yet. Have pressure in my head a lot of the time. It feels like my head has cotton in it. I'm in therapy finally dealing with my abandonment issues from my mother's narcissism. This whole thing has been a huge lesson in trusting myself. A big part of me is scared that I've ***** up my brain, and that the apathy wont ever go away. I feel like I've made a big mistake. My partner has said that over the past few weeks I seem more myself, but I don't see it at all. I've begun doing some more things I enjoy, but a lot of the time I'm not enjoying them very deeply. A lot of the time I just want to be left alone. I guess I just want some support, since I'm so scared. How did I even get here? I just wanted to be happy. tldr: couldnt handle 50mg Zoloft, currently on 25mg for 18 days. Brain is effectively a scrambled egg. Timeline: Effexor 150mg XR 13 years, came off over 2 months, 3 months off. "Relapse" and put back on 75 mg, then 50. Lowered back down to 75 for 2 months, then raised to 112.5 for 2 months. Pristiq 25mg for 2 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks. Back to 25 mg for 6 weeks. Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks, now back to 25 mg for 18 days.
  17. Hi everyone. I'm a 30 year old warehouse worker. I have a degree in broadcasting which I was never able to find work in. The warehouse work does get me exercise though which is kind of a natural antidepressant. Anyway, I've been off Zoloft for a little over a year. From time to time, I still feel really dizzy, have a headache and other symptoms I'm sure I'm missing. How long is protracted withdrawal syndrome? I'd like to know, but good to meet everyone.
  18. Hi. I am on this site looking for tips for staying steady while gradually tapering off Zoloft. I'm so grateful for all the info here. I have been on it for 16 years, and although it improved my life a million per cent, I want to see how things are without it. I am in my mid-50s and my life is more stable and healthy than it has ever been. Maybe I can live without the SSRIs. If I can't, it's OK, I will stay on them. But I want to try to go off.
  19. So may of 2022 I started my SSRI journey I had bad anxiety and my doctor recommended I take Zoloft. I listened and started with a low dose I completely forget what dose I took but I know I had a terrible reaction to it I lasted like 2 months and then got switched to lexapro. Once I was in lexapro I went from 2.5mg to 10mg wayyyy to fast my psychiatrist was terrible and I got so so many side effects from 10mg so she had me taper off within a month from 10mg-0mg and I had every side effect in the book, you name it I had it. (Brain Zaps were the worst). She then switched me to buspar 5mg 3 times a day and man I could only last 9 days on it. It gave such bad intrusive thoughts it was scary. So I decided to get back on lexapro in January of 2023 and go super slow like start with 2.5 mg and I knew I was sensitive because 2.5 gave me side effects so I started slowly upping my dose and the intrusive thoughts got worse, blurry vision, urge to cry daily, dizzy, and after about 5 months in it I became numb. Nothing would give me anxiety but also nothing would give me excitement. So I started tapering very very slow I went from 5mg to 2.5mg to 1.25mg and then 1.25mg every other day and it was definitely a better taper from last time because I got no brain zaps so far. So currently I’m almost 4 weeks in off of lexapro and man this is hard. I’ve technically been on meds for 1 year just not consistently so I do understand that it will take awhile to heal but man these side effects are weird. I don’t feel happy but I don’t feel sad it is such a weird feeling. I have days where I feel amazing like back to normal and then the next day sucks. Just feels like my motivation is low right now and excitement, I thought that would come back after almost 4 weeks off the pill. Another big thing is the insomnia it is so hard to stay asleep at night. It’s like I have an urge to cry but can’t. just wanted to know if these side effects are common with someone who’s been on ssris for a year
  20. Dear withdrawees ... I hope i find you all well... Or at least amidst a window rather than a wave . I've been scouring SA for some time now, picking up whatever bits of helpful and positive information i can about this horrific ordeal. I now feel its time to introduce myself and my history on AD's to the community with the hope of being provided with additional support and a view helping others in the future when this experience is more of a bad memory rather than a living hell . I have been taking Sertraline on and off for the last 6 years since 2013 after a series of horrific circumstances happened one after another. Despite the drugs having good effect, I've always been uncomfortable with masking what are obviously important emotions using a daily consumption of a drug. This has led me to unwittingly withdraw multiple times across the 6 year period which lead me to believe i was confined to a life of drug taking, this was until June this year when I first found SA and became aware of SSRI withdrawal . Of course I was left somewhat shocked but not surprised after feeling neglected previously on multiple occasions by the medical sector. Despite that though i found a new sense of hope knowing that a life beyond drugs was not only possible, but likely. Recent Drug History OCT 2016 - I quit Sertraline 50 mg CT after a family bereavement had turned my life upside down .. as a result it felt the drug was totally ineffective. MAY 2017- After what had been an appalling 6 months (which i thought was horrific grief but now realise it is likely withdrawal is the more likely culprit) I reinstated Sertraline at 50 mg before raising the dose to 100 mg due to not feeling any effect (again this is something that makes sense now). In time i had started to feel normal again and presumed it was because I had worked my way through my prolonged grief. FEB 2019 - Life was now back on track and decided it was time to try and rid myself of the shameful daily pill pop that is AD's. I quit Sertraline Via a fast taper... but may aswell have been a CT. JUN 2019 - I found SA . .. realised i was withdrawing .. and had inadvertently made multiple mistakes along the way. NOV 2019 - I'm roughly 8-9 months into withdrawal & STRUGGLING MY SYMPTOMS: A thick brain fog Anxiety an inability to feel emotions / make connections with people Loss of communication skills & wit muscle weakness Fatigue As I've said previously.... i am currently at the 9 month mark and I'm coping okay (I Think🤔 ) when i compare my battles to that of others.. but i am beginning to really struggle with the isolation that seems to be a natural part of the process. I have always naturally been an extroverted person who loves talking to people and being at the centre of attention although currently this couldn't be further from the truth and is taking a huge toll on my daily life. Every time I am confronted with some form of social situation my brain draws a blank. Its as if the lights are on but nobody's home. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHARM AND CHARISMA? I wanted to ask for advice from anyone whose been in a similar situation: What can i do right here and now to aid myself when dealing with these symptoms? If you've surpassed the 9 month point of withdrawal with these symptoms still rearing their ugly head, at what stage did you notice a marked improvement? Has anyone any advice on how to work towards improving other areas of my life, such as love or working life and learning new skills whilst withdrawing? If you've made it this far thanks for reading and i look forward to any replies? Cheers
  21. Hi, everyone. I just found this forum last night via links on Mad In The UK and Let's Talk Withdrawal. I've recently begun tapering sertraline after 10 years of use, and I hope that it will be mutually helpful for myself and others if I share my experiences here. I'll try to summarize my personal mental health history with whatever information I think might be relevant. I've had depression, anxiety, and OCD-like symptoms beginning in childhood, possibly exacerbated by personal/family trauma. I saw my first therapist at age 7-8 when my parents divorced, and have been in and out of therapy for other reasons since about 14. Depression became severe around age 15, along with some disordered eating behaviors (I wasn't formally diagnosed with an ED until my 20s, but from the age of 16 onward was treated as though I had one--actually, I found my way here because this article resonated with some of my experiences in treatment and being pathologized). Many of the therapists I saw in my teens and twenties advised me to begin medication and would bring it up repeatedly against my wishes at the time. After my second year in college, my mental health became significantly worse and I had trust issues with my therapist at the time, who continued to insist that I needed medication and/or some form of institutional treatment. In 2008 I avoided being hospitalized for an eating disorder by cutting off contact with that therapist, but my GP diagnosed anorexia nervosa and prescribed sertraline because it was supposed to help with compulsive behaviors such as disordered eating and OCD. At the time, I did not get the prescription filled. After I left college in 2009, my depression fluctuated but I had more severe anxiety than in the past. By 2012 I was having anxiety attacks almost every day that were interfering with my work and daily life. Doctor again prescribed sertraline, and I started taking it as a "last resort" because I felt suicidal and that I had nothing left to lose by trying it. I started at 50 mg and experienced some relief from the physical symptoms of anxiety, but I still worried constantly and had varying levels of depression. It also did absolutely nothing for OCD. :') After a few years on the sertraline, I felt that it wasn't working or wasn't necessary, and I also suspected that I might have some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence that was being covered up by the depression/anxiety/ED diagnoses. Around 2017 I began seeing a therapist at a practice that also required meeting with a psychiatrist every few months as a condition of continuing treatment. Said psychiatrist diagnosed ADHD and possible autism spectrum traits but did not prescribe anything for the ADHD; instead, he recommended increasing my dosage of sertraline from 50 to 75 and then to 100 mg a few months later. He also prescribed hydroxyzine PRN for anxiety attacks. Once again, any benefit of increasing the sertraline dosage was temporary or negligible/nonexistent. (The hydroxyzine seems to work by virtue of being a sedative, if nothing else.) Starting around 2018-2019, I began having more acute depressive episodes that seemed to worsen with hormonal fluctuations; it was as though my SSRI "stopped working" for a few days/weeks every month and I experienced symptoms that were easily as bad as the withdrawal symptoms I got from skipping or missing a dose. For a while (2019-2020) I also had what I thought were moderate hypomanic episodes lasting a few weeks at a time, although this might have been how I interpreted having a more normative level of executive functioning/mood regulation as opposed to feeling fatigued and depressed as a baseline. ADHD and OCD-like symptoms also got progressively worse. In 2020 I asked my GP about ADHD treatment, and was prescribed Adderall (10 mg, increased to 15 mg later on). This was also around the time I decided to start tapering the sertraline. I went from 100 to 75 mg in 2021 without noticing much of a difference, but had severe depression/withdrawal effects at 50 mg and so remained at 75 for about a year. The hormonal exacerbation also got significantly worse--suicidal ideation, self harming behavior, increased anxiety, and paranoid/irrational/obsessive thoughts--to the point that I thought I might be having psychotic episodes. (I have a late maternal uncle who developed schizophrenia after recreational hallucinogen use, so there is some family history of being at risk.) In late August or early September of this year, I decided to resume tapering after missing a dose between refills; since I was already having withdrawal symptoms, I started taking 50 mg after my refill and just left it at that. My current therapist referred me to another psychiatric practice to discuss medication management. During the appointment last week, they recommended tapering the sertraline from 50 to 25 for two weeks, and then to 12.5 before stopping entirely. However, they also prescribed a different SSRI (Luvox), which I do not want to take at all, as well as switching my ADHD medication from Adderall to Vyvanse. I'm not too concerned with the ADHD drugs right now; I think it might be easier to evaluate whether or not they're worth continuing after I get off the sertraline, but I don't know how to explain to my therapist and/or other health care providers that I don't want to start a different SSRI, without being seen as non-compliant. tl;dr, as of this week I've gone from 50 to 25 mg on sertraline and I'm feeling pretty depressed/paranoid/anxious, but I think it's manageable if there's a possibility of it getting better after this. Sorry if any of the above is rambling or otherwise unclear. I'm still lurking on the rest of the forum while posting this, so please let me know if I've made any mistakes or left anything out. Thank you.
  22. Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.
  23. Link to intro thread Hey all! Been meaning to write this for a little while now but just haven't had the time. But I knew I was always going to write a 'success story' as those were the ones that kept me going!! I HAVE BEEN OFF MEDS FOR 2 YEARS & 3 MONTHS!! I'm 31, female, I was on SSRI's for a total of 5 years, mostly Fluox, then sertraline, then citalopram before my doctor removed me from meds cold turkey, he said I would have no ill effects from stopping this way either!! So I'm going to list my main withdrawal symptoms, what helped me through withdrawal and any other bits of info like when i felt the worst waves etc! Symptoms: -Daily crying -anxiety -panic -depression -dizziness -skin itching -tremors -muscle weakness -visual issues -heartburn -gut issues -heart palpitations -insomnia -suicidal -weight loss -cramp in legs -full body stabbing/zaps -backache -headaches -TMJ -brain fog -unsteady on feet -lethargy -muscle weakness -hair loss -joint pain Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head, but there will definitely be more! I noticed my 'windows' were very sparse until I passed the 12 month mark and after that I'd eventually get more and more windows. Before the 12 month mark, my windows were only short and usually on evenings. I had the most severe withdrawal symptoms between months 6-11, which I've read lots of people suffer more at that stage too. I also in this withdrawal period took Cipro, and my symptoms worsened after taking that so I do believe I was 'floxed' too. The things that helped me get through a cold turkey withdrawal: (there aren't many!) -Reading the success stories on this website (constantly!) -Meditation daily -Baylissa's book -The Lovely Grind youtube videos -Drew Linsalata podcast (the anxious truth) -My partner! (most definitely the reason I'm still here and off those meds!) I have been blessed to have a supportive partner throughout this process who fully supported me and believed I would make it out of the other side. He is my absolute angel! Between my sheer grit and determination and his supportive words I have done it! The only issue I've had since stopping the SSRI's is that I'm now in early menopause. I'm only 31 so it is very unusual. The doctors can't work out why I'm in the early menopause, my ovaries 'look' fine so they think it's more to do with my brain producing the hormones and my pituitary gland. So I believe that the medication and my withdrawal has caused my hormones to completely deplete by altering something in my brain. I'm now on HRT and feeling much better since being on it. I was hoping I wouldn't have any long term effects from taking these meds but it seems I do sadly. For anyone reading this, IT CAN BE DONE! I'm now over 2 years CLEAN and I feel SO MUCH BETTER that I don't have to rely on those tablets and have the ongoing side effects from them! KEEP GOING!!! If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and i'll respond as soon as I can! 🙂 Love Jade x
  24. Greetings everyone! I'm hoping for some advice from my fellow members. I've been on Zoloft (50 mg) for 20+ years for depression. I tried getting off Zoloft twice during the past 5 years due to zombification (I was no longer crying or laughing) but both times experienced brain zaps and severe depression during the taper. (As an aside, my primary care physician, who knew I was tapering, told me to undergo a brain MRI because of the brain zaps. Neither of us realized the brain zaps were from the SSRI discontinuation.) Ten months ago, I decided to try to get off the poison once again. I've been tapering more slowly and am now down to ~10 mg/day but am feeling depressed again. No brain zaps this time. I take magnesium, fish oil, Vitamins B, C, and D. A week or so ago I started taking 5-HTP 100 mg at night to help boost my serotonin level now that I'm on a very low dose of Zoloft. Unfortunately, I'm now also experiencing acute anxiety, which I've never had before. Has anyone else experienced new onset anxiety either during SSRI withdrawal or from 5-HTP? I'm determined to succeed this time but am struggling immensely with crippling anxiety. I'm looking forward to death. Any help, including supplement or diet recommendation, would be greatly appreciated.
  25. Hi guys this is gonna be a ton I apologize but Im afraid I've ruined my life and am in desperate need of help both physically and mentally. ABOUT ME I am an 18 year old girl from the Bay Area in California and I have a lovely boyfriend and family who are trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I have been dealing with anxiety/depression/DP/DR ever since I was ten, coming in episodes, with it not being extremely debilitating until Covid lockdown hit. As of now my current diagnosis are MDD and GAD (which was only recently diagnosed in the psych ward and am pretty sure it came on due to withdrawal symptoms). Starting meds I started Zoloft early April 2021 and I would say at the time it definitely helped me sink out of a depression. It definitely worked in all senses for a while but I think I felt so good on it that I thought increasing the dose would make me feel even better. Eventually I was on 200 mg by October 2021 (probably earlier) which was the stupidest decision I've ever made. I was in such a "fog" on this medication and didn't bother to do any research but its too late now. It eventually killed my motivation so I began going down at some point I wish I could remember when. But I do know the reason I decided to stop it all together was because I realized how "blunted" my emotions became and I wanted to feel more intense emotions for my boyfriend, and my mental health slowly started declining due to how horrible I was doing in school. All of these memories are foggy to me but I believe I started tapering some point in 2022 and at some point I thought I was okay enough to just stop in the middle of tapering before my trip to the UK in mid-November 2022. Downfall I thought I was okay for a few weeks after stopping but everything took a turn for the worst. I was sobbing everytime my boyfriend had to leave and would break down into tears at the smallest things. But then some days I would simply feel nothing at all and started to feel extremely disconnected from myself and reality(DP/DR). I thought these feelings would go away with time but **** the fan when I had an anxiety attack on Dec 20 and then another one on Dec 24. Never in my life had I experienced anything like those. After that I basically went two days without eating. I was bed-bound and horribly anxious, shaky, believed I was going to die, and terribly depressed. I couldn't concentrate on anything, had horrible suicidal thoughts and I thought I was going insane. I think I was given a weeks dose of Ativan around this time for sleep which helped but I reinstated Zoloft then (probably 25 mg) and found myself feeling better physically and was on for two weeks until I had another anxiety attack and racing suicidal thoughts and got taken to the ER to stabilize myself (given 1 mg Ativan). I was then put on Prozac 20 mg as it was thought that it would be any different than Zoloft. Not sure why I was given this high of a dose but the five days I were on that were hell (severe anxiety, dry heaving, insomnia, suicidal thoughts). I refused to eat and was so concerned about my reaction to this med and my weight loss and especially the suicidal thoughts that I was taken to the ER and stopped Prozac and felt relief then. I stayed in the ER for two days after while they waited to take me inpatient and thats when I was started on Mirtazipine. Things then started looking up for me, although I was horribly depressed and anxious still I started eating and sleeping and was eventually discharged from the hospital around a week later. I was put into an out patient program and felt some relief for about a week. I noticed my racing thoughts were still there and I started to experience intrusive thoughts/dissacociation/anxiety very bad again. I was told to increase my Mirtazipine dose to 30 mg. The next day I woke up suicidal and at this point I was losing it and decided I did not want to give Mirtazipine more of a chance. Since then I've been using Gabapentin (100-200 mg) as needed and CBD oil while weaning off Mirtazipine but noticed that although CBD and Gaba helped anxiety all they did was make me sleepy and feel so completely dysfunctional that I could not even worry anymore. And when those wore off I felt even more depressed than before. I've been trying to stop CBD and Gaba and yesterday and today I have taken none and am currently taking half a 15 mg Mirtazipine pill. Im not sure what to do because I feel so helpless and alone and that I've ruined my life. Of course Im very depressed and anxious but even worse I find it so difficult to hold a conversation with anyone as Im afraid im hypersensitive to everything now. I cant cry, im not eating, Im stuck in horrible negative thought loops, experiencing horrible brain fog, sometimes even forget what Im saying mid sentence and feel it takes to much energy to talk to anyone. Ive been living in fear and am afraid nothing will help me and I honestly feel heartbroken. I dont feel like myself whatsoever and have never felt this disconnected from myself and my emotions. Along with that im finding it so hard to fall asleep and when I wake up I feel horribly anxious (I think its the cortisol morning thing). Im not sure what to do??? My family is here for me and of course my lovely boyfriend but they dont seem to understand and my parents still arent sold on me being off psych drugs but I swear I'll never touch any of those again. But then again I dont know what the best idea is for me at all. I have never felt this confused or heartbroken in my life and Im so afraid I'll never go back to normal. I'm being sent to a residential program in two weeks so hopefully they help me get back to sleeping and eating and I feel like all they'll try and do is force me to take another antidepressant. I know you all can relate to me and know the trauma of experiencing a relapse of your mental health issues along with withdrawal symptoms to go along with that. I have so many questions right now and would love if anyone can give me advice on what to do from this point on as I am feeling stuck in an endless loop of pain I can't get out of. Here are the questions I have and I'd appreciate any advice. -Also not to mention I've been vaping Nicotine consistently for around a year and tried to stop when I stopped Zoloft only to start again due to how horrible this situation is and the stress from it. I know it doesnt help but quitting an addiction along with all these drugs that have been put into my body is difficult. 1. How would I go weaning off of Mirtazipine completely? I have only been taking it for a month and 15 mg for only two weeks so I'm not sure how that would work or if I even should consider going off as it might make things worse. 2. Am I experiencing a relapse in depression or do you think the depression is being caused by withdrawal Ive gone through the past two months? Or maybe both. 3. Should I focus on basic eating/drinking/sleeping for now and try weaning off Mirtazipine when thats more under control? 4. Would going on Zoloft for the third time make a difference? Any kind of advice would help and I am willing to answer any questions about the timeline of medications to the best of my ability and how many I have been on. I think you all are so brave for going through this journey and persisting through and through. Please please help me. -Julia
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