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Withdrawal Awareness: A Message to Those in Medication Withdrawal - Mad In America https://www.madinamerica.com/mia-manual/medication-withdrawal-awareness-message-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

Hi, I've been on psychiatric medication since early March 2022. I've also been to a psych hospital twice after becoming suicidal due to severe insomnia and sleep-onset myoclonus, which started shortly after I was put on escitalopram and trazodone for depressed mood. Before being put on the meds, I was able to sleep without issues despite having low mood. No myoclonus, no twitching, my sleep was fine. After a couple of weeks on the drugs, I became hyperaroused in the evening and started experiencing muscle jerks as I was about to fall asleep, which jolted me awake every time. I talked to my psychiatrist about these symptoms and he switched me to sertraline and mianserin. The side effects disappeared and something strange happened: I would sleep easily 12-13 hours a day, which is unusually long for me. However, in May 2022 this effect subsided and the myoclonus returned. I was unable to get proper asleep for about a week and started having suicidal thoughts, thinking that my life is ruined because the antidepressants messed my brain up beyond repair and I would never be able to sleep. This landed me in a psych ward, where they gave me trazodone, olanzapine and benzodiazepines at bedtime. I improved and was discharged within a few days. I abruptly stopped the olanzapine they gave me in the psych ward, as my psychiatrist said it was unnecessary because I was not psychotic or schizophrenic (he didn't tell me to taper the olanzapine gradually!). He also refused to prescribe me benzodiazepines for sleep because they are addictive. I was put back on sertraline and quetiapine instead of the mianserin I had been taking before the hospital. The quetiapine worked well for my sleep initially but stopped working eventually as I developed tolerance. In August, I decided to stop all drugs, thinking they were causing my myoclonus and insomnia. Within days, I developed akathisia and severe insomnia. Feeling restless and on-edge 24/7 was the worst time of my life and I truly wanted to die. I ended up in the mental hospital for the second time. They fed me a bunch of antidepressants and antipsychotics, which were able to put me to sleep most of the time. I was discharged in November and immediately quit the antidepressants. I only kept taking the quetiapine 300 mg because it was able to help me sleep despite my myclonus. Now I'm free from all antidepressants and I take only the quetiapine, benzodiazepines and Z-drugs for sleep. It was probably a bad idea to quit the antidepressants they gave me in the hospital cold turkey, but I didn't want them to do me more harm than they already did. I'm trying to get off the quetiapine from 300 mg in 25 mg steps. I fear that my brain may have been damaged permanently by all the meds I've been taking. My myoclonus still persists and I am unable to get restorative sleep on the benzos and Z-drugs. I would welcome any and all advice on how to get rid of the drug-induced myoclonus. It really takes away so much sleep, energy and joy of life from me.

DESPERATE: How a normal person lie for antidepressants and was ruined tl;dr: A burned-out normal person thought antidepressants could be performance enhancer so she lied to doc that she was depressed. She was treated as GAD and MDD because she had side effects and reached a point that with drugs she couldn't function. She was eventually honest with her doctor and is in the process of withdrawing. She felt very bad, anxious and sleepless because of the withdrawal symptoms, and deeply desperate and regretful. She has realized that she has made terrible mistakes and is guilty. She needs hope/support/encouragement that taking time she will be back to normal. From 2020 to 2021/05 I was a workaholic and didn't have a schedule at all. I just woke up and drank coffee, forced myself to work, and sleep at the point I could not work anymore, ate at the point I felt hungry. So going to bed in the morning and having lunch at 3 am was normal for me at that year. I feel so regretful, I thought I was young and healthy, so I should work as hard as I could regardless of my health. So after a year self burning, I was completely retarded. I couldn't sleep anymore. My heart was pounding when I tried to sleep, and it took me hours to fall asleep. However, besides the sleep problem, I was functioning normally. I still finished work and hung out with my friends. Just my sleep was completely ruined, which is not surprising given a year's messed up. However, even at that point, I was still thinking about performance enhancements. If I was a little bit reasonable, I should pick an antidepressant that helps with sleep, a calmer one. But I was so crazy, I picked venlafaxine which is known for activating and notorious for increasing heart rate and worsening sleep. I don't know what was wrong with me at that point, maybe I was confused by the devil, I neglected all of the venlafaxine's side effects. I must have read about its side effects somewhere but my mind refused to accept or believe it. So I went to a walk-in clinic, and lie to the doctor that I had venlafaxine before, and I had a generalized anxiety disorder. The doctor believed me and started treating me as GAD. As I said, venlafaxine has notorious side effects that will make heart racing and worsen sleep. I didn't realize that, and the doctor ironically didn't realize that either. After taking venlafaxine, I had more and more frequent heart racing and worse sleep. The doctor thought it was my GAD got worse, and he increased the dosage of A and benzo for sleep, which only made things worse. Eventually he gave me rexulti, the antipsychotic. Ironically my racing heart recovered after having rexulti. I was so happy, I thought I was cured. So I went back to work. However my sleep was so bad that I always felt tired. So I saw a psychiatrist, and told her about the sleep problem and of course the lie about having GAD. She prescripted me mirtazapine 30mg before bedtime. I stopped mirtazapine in November because it made me gain 30 lbs. So from August to December(November) I was on 225mg of venlafaxine and 30mg of mirtazapine. I was so fatigued everyday but forced myself to work because I wanted to achieve something. It was so dark during these months. My neurosystem and brain have already been messed up by so many drugs, but I believed I was fine and cured and stable, and of course, I was not. My only mental support was a promise with my friend that after December we would go on a trip, a long relaxing trip. Every time I felt burned out I told myself, hold onto it; there is a trip waiting for you. And devastating thing happened: My friend went back to her home country in December and January. I didn't realize it until my work was done. I suddenly realized that the trip was gone. I lost the only hope and good thing which kept me going and not falling apart for months. My mental health was totally destroyed at that point. I shouldn't be so desperate and burned out, but after months of abusive use of drugs my brain and neuro system were completely messed up. I would say, if I didn't take these antidepressants for months I wouldn't have that mental meltdown in December. I was sent to the emergency in December. There they gave me more benzos, and the psychiatrist increased my venlafaxine from 225mg to 300mg. He also gave me another antidepressant bupropion. bupropion was another super activating drug, and wasn't helping my mental health at all. My mental health issue got better after spending time with my other friends, and bupropion caused a lot of panic attacks, sleep problems and racing hearts. How do I know they are directly caused by bupropion? because these symptoms went away after I cold turkeyed bupropion. That was a point when I realized psychiatrists are not so reliable: The psychiatrist who gave me bupropion insisted that my anxiety, panic attacks , racing heart and worsen sleep were caused by my worsen GAD, because according to their "guildline", bupropion is supposed to help with anxiety. However this time I know for sure bupropion was causing these problems because they went away after I stopped bupropion for a short amount of days. Also my sleep got worse and worse in 2022. I could only slept for a few hours, and the sleep was bad, it didn't recharge me. I was just a dead body walking. Yea I was working **** hard and that was just by my strong spirit. I was so tired these days and it was abnormal tiredness, more like restlessness. I was so so so tired, but I couldn't nap. My heart was pounding so loudly whenever I tried to nap. And of course my heart was pounding at bedtime, and my doctor just gave me more benzo, what a shame! Remind you that by May 2022 I have been taking venlafaxine for a year on a high dosage, and venlafaxine is a strong activator and is notorious for raising heart beat and causing anxiety even for really depressed ppl. I, a healthy person, have been on it for a year, and by May 2022 I have almost reached my limit. Finally my family doctor suspected that venlafaxine is not suitable for me. So he switched me to escitalopram. So in June, July and August I was taking escitalopram. My sleep was still bad, and I became even more tired during the day. And I had brain fog all the time, ironically I was still taking driving lessons. It's so dangerous for me to drive and I know it. I failed tests for other reasons, and now I realize they might be a warning from god. Test center ppl didn't know I was dangerous driving, but they still failed me. This must be a sign from god, warning me that I am on the wrong path. Brain fog, fatigue, bad sleep, my family doctor thought it was my depression that went worse. So he increased the dosage of D to 20mg(the max) and rexulti to 3mg. By the end of July, my work became intense. I was fatigued and foggy, but I have to work. I worked **** hard again under tons of pressure, with a foggy brain and fatigue. That week was so bad that I had really bad headache. I guess I was really on the edge of falling apart by then. The week after that I had the worst panic attack and sleeplessness. I lost my sleep completely, I became so fatigued that I couldn't function in the day. If in July the fatigue and fog were something I could still live with, by the end of August that became something that I couldn't live with because I couldn't function at all. went to the emergency again, and they gave me Seroquel, another antipsychotic. This is the med that kept me sleeping all day in September. But no one told me that. I figured it out after I stopped it. Oh I wasn't working since August because I cannot. And brain fog is making me crazy. I didn't have the fog when I was on venlafaxine, so I switched back to venlafaxine. The fog went away, but my racing heart and bad sleep came back. When I was standing , my heart rate was 120. So my family doctor switched me to trintellix, the one I.am taking and tapering right now. After switching to trintellix my heart rate became normal again. But still I was so fatigue and sometimes foggy. I wasn't able to sit still and watch a movie even. I began to realize something was wrong. For the first time, I was honest to my doctor and everyone around me. I told them at the beginning there was nothing wrong with me, I lied for antidepressants just for enhancing performance. My doctor cold turkeryed rexulti and Seroquel six weeks ago and I am still suffering from its withdrawal symptoms: bad sleep, anxiety, brain fog. This week my doctor asked me to taper trintellix. I have been taking 5 mg for three days and could feel the anxiety is worsen, so is my sleep. But at this point I really don't care about my feeling anymore. I just want these poison to get out of body ASAP and give my body time to recover back to normal. I was so regretful that I lied, I was stupid and greedy. I am in desperate everyday that there has been permanent damage to my brain and I will never become a normal person again. PLEASE give me some support/encouragement/hope that I will be back to normal. PLEASE feel free to blame me for being so stupid. I feel lonely, helpless and desperate.

I am posting this basically as an introduction to my situation and perhaps just to find some sort of support or encouragement from the excellent people here. After being on a myriad of psychiatric medication for 13 years, I discovered the untold dangers of these drugs when I started feeling that they were taking a toll on my normal functioning and cognition. I spent most of these years going back and forth from one drug to another, in varying doses (see my use history below). I was never really able to identify withdrawal symptoms when coming off some of the drugs (despite the fact that several were fast tapered) apart from my withdrawal from Xanax, Valium and most lately, Fluoxetine. I had no idea about proper tapering until discovering this forum. Currently, I am a psychological mess who is on a cocktail of drugs and about to enter a psychiatric hospital for the fourth time. The past two weeks have been a hellish experience: unbearable anxiety and depression, an inability to think clearly or perform everyday tasks, complete loss of appetite, inability to converse with people, anhedonia, disrupted sleep, poorer coordination, of and alcohol misuse to numb the pain, to mention a few. During the past few months, I have simply been looking forward to night time, when I can take my 150mg of Trazodone and 10mg of Zolpidem to feel relief from it all. Unfortunately, the past few nights have seen me increasing the dosage of these drugs. Yesterday morning, I started straight back on 20mg of Fluoxetine (again, I had no idea about the possible kindling effect until I happened to come across it later in the day). After switching drugs several times and stopping and starting, I can only imagine that I am certainly susceptible to this effect? Tonight, I found myself awake after only 1 hour of sleep, despite taking 10mg Zolpidem and 250mg Trazodone. My nervous system feels overexcited (I am thinking probably from the reinstatement of the Fluoxetine?) and with the terrible restlessness this brought I found myself taking another 10mg Zolpidem to try and knock me out. It has not helped and I am still wide awake. I realise that increasing the dosages of these drugs is a recipe for long-term disaster but the pain is horrendous. I know that tomorrow, when I get into the hospital, I will most likely meet a new psychiatrist who will be the same as most of the rest and want to increase dosages or rapidly switch things up. I will let her know that this is not the route I want to take and hope that she is informed and empathetic to my concerns. I have a deep sense of hopelessness at my situation right now and feel completely trapped. At the same time, I don't feel like I am ticking any of the right boxes to be able to taper down. So my thinking is that the first step needs to be restarting on the lowest dose of fluoxetine (here in South Africa I believe this is only available at 10mg) in order to try and 'stabilise' the reinstatement and possibly get back into productivity that will allow me to save my very valued job and relationships. Of course, my biggest concern is that I have dosed highly on the Trazodone and Zolpidem for the past three nights, and that alcohol has also played an insidious role in my life for the past few months. In addition, I had ketamine infusions in December due to thoughts of ending all the pain, so this further complicates this terrifying situation. I truly want to be off the drugs and other treatments but I realise that my case is particularly complicated and I don't know how to go about solving it. Any thoughts and observations would be deeply appreciated. 2008 - Escitalopram 20mg2009 - 2011 Epitec 200 mg (fast tapered, no noticeable WD symptoms) and Seroquel 200 mg (fast tapered, no noticeable WD symptoms).2012 - 2019 Intermittent use of Escitalopram 20mg. Prescribed Xanax 1mg for anxiety in 2018. Was on them for 2 years. Developed tolerance, cravings and withdrawal when attempting to stop. Tapered off with Valium bridge in 2021. Fast tapered off Valium after six weeks. 2020 - Trazodone 150 mg and 10mg Zolpidem nightly (still taking). 2021 - Fluoxetine 20 mg (fast tapered, experiencing delayed withdrawal six weeks later). IV Ketamine infusions for debilitating depression. 2022 - more frequent overuse of Trazodone and Zolpidem, together with alcohol. Reinstatement of 20 mg Fluoxetine caused insomnia and akithesia on night 1. Supplements: Vitamin B Complex; Magnesium Glycinate; Vitamin C; Lions Mane Mushrooms; Omega 3.

Hello, I'm new here. I have been run through the psychiatry mill for the past 22 years. I'm currently 44 and have been on SSRIs since I was 21. I have been tapering sertraline very slowly the past 3 years. Max dose was 100mg, I'm down to about 10mg. Wondering how low I should go? I am tapering clonazepam concurrently. That is some kind of fresh hell. Details in my signature, but long story short - I had a health crisis starting in about 2015. My balance went south, it felt like I was stepping on a trampoline randomly while walking. Dizziness, brain zaps, massive anxiety, TMJ pain, drumming in my ears, overwhelm, exhaustion. This lead to chronic fatigue symptoms, weight loss, SIBO, reactivated EBV. 6 years ago I was regularly running and doing triathlons, now I am so out of shape I get sore from basic life activities (walking). I have done lots of work to repair my gut with a FM nutritionist, I eat well, and have brought in small amounts of exercise. I think I'm on the upswing from this nightmare, but I am curious how low to go on sertraline before jumping off. When I drop my dose I get zappy, sore muscles, fatigue, rage (!!), and sweaty. Last drop was 1/4 of a 25mg tablet. Thanks!

I pray I am doing this correctly. This may be a Trigger for some - read with caution .I am new and over the past 6 months , I have been trailed on 22 psyc meds for what they felt was OCD / Anxiety - now I am a mess beyond. A very quick explanation. 7 months ago I was perfectly normal . Happy, normal , living life ...all of that . Then out of the blue, I had a thought that was not so wonderful . I called my family doctor as well I didn't understand what was happening and he started me on Risperidone, Ativan ( 4 mg / day ,) and Annifril. I took one Risperidone, and had a panic attack and begun to hallucinatiate. I took one Annifril, and I stayed on the Benzo as he said it would help me with what he felt was anxiety for 5 months . I was switched to Coloasapm and then tappered off of Coloasapm - the dose was 1 mg , in 2 weeks .So in total 5 months on benzos - 2 week tapper . While on the benzos I began to truly hear my inner dialogue loudly . It literally took over my conscience mind - where as before it was background . I became hyper aware of my thoughts . I became terrified. I was getting thoughts that were not mine on any level - violent thoughts towards others and myself , commanding thoughts , an inner voice that spoke all day - still does to this day - racing , chatter , non stop - you name it .I am left with no peace at all , and a ' voice ' in my mind that most days does not even feel like mine. I have had days where I do not recognize myself in the mirror, fight with myself , and feel out of it. Anxious thoughts , scary thoughts , ..all day . Through the 6 months my conditioned worsened . I was then offered Rumeron, Olazipine, Zoloft , Prozac , Delantin , Valium , Coloasapm, Ambilify, Serequel , Pristique, Lyrica , Escatilapram and the list goes on and on . I did not know better as I have never taken medication before ....I just wanted to get better , yet I continue to get worse. Today , my thoughts are loud , repeat everything I read , non stop , highly intrusive , name calling , highly damaging , and it's like I am listening to my thoughts not as the generator, but the listener. They do not make sense. I am unable to process emotions , or an idea . Every single thought is anxiety driven , meaning I have extreme anxiety over any thought now - as I am Hyper Aware of everything in my mind . I can feel and tell I am listening ....I am sorry I do not know how to explain this ....it's like I am mediating , but unable to stop . I am stuck in my mind . I am unable to focus , watch tv - nothing. I am unable to nap without waking to a panic attack - and my ' doctor ' still wants to trial medication. My thoughts take over my entire thought process , and all I think about is my thinking , or intrusives , or this or that . I am no longer living . ..I am simply exsisting. This awareness is killing me . The intrusives are killing me . Non stop ....all day . I also have screaming , and crying in my mind , music , looping , and the exact same thoughts every day without cease. I have had sucidal thoughts - which is so not me !!! None of this is me !!! I know in my heart this is from the medication. Yes , I had one not so proper thought , but where I am today is a head full of loud intrusive thoughts. ...and a racing mind, and my thoughts are forefront , and never background anymore . Ever . Any assistance would be appreciated please. Any. I am clean of all medications now . Thank you ....

Hi, all-- I am so grateful to have found this site. It is helpful to know that I'm not alone. This is my first post, I will try my best to be succinct. I'm a 42 y/o female. I've been on Zoloft for 12 years, anywhere from 50mg daily to 175mg. I'd say my average over the years is probably around 125mg daily. My signature has a breakdown of my history. I've also taken klonopin during this time, but I take it PRN as I have never agreed with the doc suggestions to take this med multiple times daily. So in terms of my average klonopin dosing, during acute anxiety or hospitalization I take it multiple times daily but otherwise I take it maybe once or twice a month (more or less). My pills are 0.5, but I have a sensitive system so I take one quarter of that or maybe a half. A full pill usually means I am heading into a major depressive episode or something pretty difficult is going on. I smoked marijuana for about 7 years, but had to stop that in July 2020 due to cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS). Lastly, I began a magnesium supplement around July 2020, and it has greatly helped with daily anxiety. The difference has been pronounced for me. For the past five/six years or so, I noticed that I occasionally got facial tics when I wake up in the morning. They were small, brief, and random, usually my jaw jiggling or shutting, or my eyes shutting closed due to my cheeks lifting. I thought it might be the Zoloft, but I didn't look into it too much. Well, now I've looked into it and I'm terrified. For the past 6 months, I'd say, the tics have started to happen during the course of the day and not just when I wake up in the morning. A couple of days ago, I was lying in bed and my throat/esophagus just started twitching up and down a few times-- that one was scary. I have an HMO, so I am in the process of seeking out a holistic psychiatrist on my own. I've seen the list on this site, that's been very helpful! I have a few questions for anyone that can help: In your experience, is it okay to have a long-distance psych? Does it make a difference? I'd rather see someone who knows what they're doing and is far, far away than someone close by who doesn't know or believe in patient-centered care. How might this hamper care? Do the TD symptoms indicate that I should follow a quicker taper? Or is this a matter of doing the 10% and then waiting/hoping that TD symptoms don't get worse? Can klonopin cause TD? I haven't seen anything about this, but I'd love to hear others' experiences. I will ask my psych the same thing, but are there any supplements that folks here recommend to help with the taper? I've tried tapering once before back in 2011-2013 (I thought I was tapering slowly, but given the info we have now I can see I was most definitely not going slowly. I was also following bad advice about taking my SSRI "every other day" to even out the amount of med in my bloodstream), and had what I now recognize to be an acute and quickly-manifesting depressive episode as a result of withdrawal. I understand that everyone's body is different, but any experiences with supplements is very welcome. Of course I am impatient to get off of this drug which could now be causing me a lot of harm. I have done loads and loads of work with therapists on my PTSD and depression, but the Zoloft did help me with that at the beginning, very much. I have so many conflicting feelings, but fear overrides them all because I would very much love to retain my ability to swallow and chew voluntarily (the cosmetic fears are also there, but to a lesser degree). I am a Buddhist and humanist and practice daily in one way or another, but as I'm sure many of us know a strong depression can and will obliterate reason, faith, belief, you name it. Thankfully I have a wife who shares my beliefs, and she is a rock. Thank you so much for any help. I am terrified of this journey, but I am very heartened that at least I have others to share it with.

Hello fellow travelers, I am a recovering user of many psychotropic prescriptions (which I at first thought were good for me). After finally being able to taper off and learning much more, I've revised my thinking a bit: about the drugs, about the doctors, about the medical profession in general and about what I can reasonably be certain is healthy. I've got pretty decent working knowledge of psychotropics now, but still have much to learn. I have read the Ashton Manual, a few scholarly articles by people like Guy Chouinard, and have some experience helping people with withdrawal and post-withdrawal. I also have a bit of an interest in general medicine. Drugs taken include: Remeron, Effexor, Clonazepam, Triazolam, Escitalopram, too much Olanzapine and a few other compounds with varying levels of harm. I am now around two years post-withdrawal of Clonazepam, having begun my odyssey taking amitryptaline for sleep, and am still recovering from extreme insomnia, gastro problems and general fatigue. I can't really say it was worth it, but you live and you learn.

Acsr Hi ! Thank for having me! Hi have a question for you since I’m don’t know what to do and nobody believes me . So, I was on Protheadene 75mg ( for 2 years) and still on 0,5 ( maxolazan-sedoxil) and 50 mg of quietipine. I was doing really well so I decided to win off my antidepressant, very slowly 7 months tapering, and my last dose was on 1st November. I got a flu in the beginning of March and since then I’ve been experiencing diarrhea, morning fast heart beats, depression and extreme fatigue during my periods and after. Was very gradual and this month is has been awful. I went to see a funcional doctor who says my adrenals are depleted, that I’m hypo, no magnesium ferritin and C. And my gut is a mess, Candida and disbiose. My progesterone little low. so this is where I need help : Is this withdrawal from the antidepressant? is this benzo tolerance ? Can I take progesterone since my symptoms get really bad during and after my periods? can I take aminoácids? can I take tyroid meds ? what do you think? I just don’t want to mess up . Thank you very much!

It all started after a 10 day meditation course 4 years back.At the end of the course i had euphoria and a bit of delusion.But in a few days i was settling down but i was forcefully taken by my brother who never was polite with me from childhood, to a psychiatric hospital where they started me on oral antipsychotics. As i was not tolerating them i wasn't taking them regularly which i disclosed to my doctor who gave me option of an injectible which i think was inj paliperidone. Stupidly ,i agreed to it.All hell broke loose that night,i was in the dumps,nobody attended to my situation.I never wanted to take that any more but after a day my doctor said i had to repeat that injection ,which when i refused ,they threatened to give it forcefully,so i accepted that injection.Life was a down hill from that time onwards.I was discharged from that hospital after a month with no proper instruction.i was living in hell for the next 6months. Was it the effect of the injection or its withdrawal i dont know.After 6 months of hell i was reffered to another psychiatrist who started me on sodium valproate 1500mg,olanzipine 5mg,clonazepam 5mg and escitolopram 10mg.In the mean time i had to hold on to my job which required constant alertness.I have gradually tapered sodium valproate to 300mg ,tapered and stopped clonazepam following the Ashton manual,tapered and stopped escitolopram on my own.I am now left with 5mgs of olanzepine.Around that time i came across the works of Dr Peter Breggin and i was convinced to stop olanzepine to over come the battery of side effects of olanzepine which was pure hell.About the same time i came across SurvivingAntidepressants web forum.I convinced my psychiatrist to taper olanzepine,who asked me to reduce by 50%. However i will be tapering by 10% of the previous dose method from 1st nov 2019.You guys at SA are doing a marvellous job,hats off to all of you.My sincere prayers to all those trying to taper of psychiatric medications,wishing everyone a safe and successful journey.I too need a lot of support and wishes from all of you.My wife has been very supportive and understanding .She has agreed to stand by me during my olanzepine taper which may take a couple of years. Will i be myself after the taper?Will my personality ever come back which is in ruins right now? will i be able to thinking clearly?Will the anhedonia go away?Will i be able to feel again?During the process of tapering olanzepine i need to hold on to my job which requires constant alertness,and take care of my family at the same time.Will i be able to?

I’m from Ireland.First time I took Xanax in 2018 October few times as I couldn’t sleep , not every day but sometimes happened maybe 3 days in row in October ( that time I HAD no info on crazy benzo !) .Sometimes I drunk Alkohol in between , as I couldt sleep. Then I took Xanax in January few times not every day , but even 3 mg to calm down or to sleep . I started to have suisaidal thoughts then after Xanax and ambulance took me they said I’m not mentally ill , they can’t keep me in hospital I have high terror anxiety ..... I also took for 1 week sleeping pills ( forgot names ) more than required ( not to kill myself !) I just could not calm down to sleep and drink 3 beers with it and I slept ( it happened twice !) . Then Avitan for 5 days only but wasn’t working . Then in March I got laxapro for 21 days but I started to feel more fears so I stopped gradually . Then for 1 week diazepam lowest dose but it couldt put me to sleep . 1 day another dr in emergency gave me Dalmane 30 mg that’s first time I fall in sleep . She gave me fot 7 days but I never took every day . Then another dr gave me a Dalmane through April / June 15 mg but I was taking 30 mg every week or every 2 weeks , sometimes twice a week .... (Last time I took Dalmane 4 days ago. Now I’m in extreme fear 24/7 and depressed. I don’t know 100% , but I think it is if all this crazynes / fears is because of those benzo :Dalmane ) . I also had difficulty in my relationship ( I thought I’m in abusive relationship) , but maybe because of my behaviour ......mI was the one difficult sometimes ..... I never tapper properly from it ( Xanax , Dalmane was the longest most I took ) as my dr doesn’t belive I am addicted as I wasn’t taking every day . But I think I’m . My brain change . I was over worry about everything, extreme anxiety, didt know “who I am “, lost myself , my confidence etc . I have 13 years old son I need to survive live for him . At the top of it I have very laud tinnatus ( hidden hearing loss ). On the 23 of September another psychiatrist in Poland gave me Tranzone ( 300 mg for night ) I slept actually but waking up in fears so he said to tapper from Dalmane , he gave me Tranxene - Cloranxen on the 1st of September . I am feeling very afraid , depressed. Although I think a bit calmer on than Tranzone maybe ( or cloranxen 😬😅😢) I. don’t want to be on benzo . I don’t know if I’m addicted to Dalmane ( I think I am even thou I wasn’t taking every day ) . Now I got that Tranxene to tapper from Flurazepan ( I was told on face book group : they said to cut 10 mg into quarters and tapper :7.5 for 10 days: 3 times a day quarter and then take two quarters for 10 days etc .as I only have 18 tablets of Tranxene left . ( I’m 4 day on it ) . Please advise what can I do . Im like ... dying ... going down ....please help

Hello all, I finished my 4 month benzo taper in April 2019 after 1 year of taking it as prescribed . I had developed interdose withdrawal and tolerance to benzos and didn't know what it was at the time. After finally figuring out what was going on, I figured out how to taper. I was also floxed with Cipro while in tolerance from benzos. It was absolute hell, and I can't believe it did it. Determined to be off of all medications, I started to taper off of Prozac and Mirtazapine. I went too fast initially, and now I'm really suffering. I'm going to hold until I stabilize. I would appreciate any advice from anyone else who has been polydrugged. I know I need to go slow- 10% a month. Do I finish the Prozac taper first and then work on the Mirtz? Thanks in advance for your help!!

How it all started. November 2017 I was prescribed .5 mg of Klonopin to be taken once daily I do not have any pre existing anxiety or health issues. The "medicine" was given to me to help with some stress induced insomnia. Since then the stress that caused the insomnia has long been resolved. I was told this medication was a low dose, and it was perfectly safe, and could be taken nightly for up to 3 months without having any problems with dependency or addiction. Even though i told the doctor 11 years prior i had a bad withdrawel from Ativan that was prescribed to me after my mothers death. He said klonopin is much safer and easier to come off of. Also i took increasing doses of Ativan for close to a year... so of course it was hard to withdraw from... I took the Klonopin .5mg exactly as prescribed for about 10 to 12 days, and then for a week after I took half the dose .25 mg. Then i quit... Apparently I'm very sensitive to these types of medications and not biochemically compatible with them, because what happened over the next 8 days, I describe as increasing anxiety, insomnia, and irrational fear, that got to the point (8 days out) of having absolutely zero sleep the night before and feeling completely detaches from reality. Now i wish i would have realized what was happening and stuck it out, because I'd probably be 100% recovered by now. However, I ( like so many of us ) went running back to the doctor for help. I made an emergency appointment with my doc. He prescribed me a very high dose of Gabapentin and told me that its a great new medication used for benzo and alchohol withdrawels. He promised me that this drug was completely safe and not addictive at all as he did with the Klonopin. but he convinced me of it by telling me it wasn't a controlled substance. It worked great for about a week, but then all of those strange withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin started coming back, and I required more of the Gabapentin to control those symptoms... My doctor actually said I could pick up the 3600 mg of it a day if need it without any worry of withdrawal. I had a massive bottle of 300mg pills and another massive bottle of 100mg pills to "fill in" I got to the point where I was taking 300 mg in the morning, 300 mg in the afternoon, and 1200 mg at night. But something just didn't feel right, I wasn't myself, I felt like I had suddenly lost 10 or 15 IQ points, the world seemed dull and so did my emotions. So the doctor pulled me off the gabapentin and put me back on the klonopin and once stable I would do a very slow taper, i was desperate to feel normal again so i agreed... I was pulled from the gabapentin after being on it for only 9 days... but with no taper and put back on the klonopin. Only this time it was not really working... I am well aware of Heather Ashton, slow tappering, micro tappering, and the effects benzos have on our gaba receptors... i personaly think Ashton is to highly regarded... I think the cross over to valium is a bad idea and does not work out for a lot of people... i respect the work she did, and her research, but that information is out dated and had needed to be continued and expanded upon. I do not agree all benzos effect the brain the same way the only difference is half life... My doctor thought going on valium would be my best option because of the long half life.... but there was no transition, it was just simply stop the Klonopin 1 day and start on 8mg diazapam the next... valiums main chemical of action breaks down in just 4 hours, while the rest of it just builds up in our systems... so the relief factor is short, while the rest of the chemicals just build up. Where I am at now I am currently taking 3 mg of Valium in the morning and 3 mg of Valium at night as well as 300 mg of Gabapentin in the morning and 300 mg at night ( yes im back on the gaba... mainly because the lack of sleep that started after my 2nd valium cut was just killing me) . This process is drawn out for the better part of a year now, and I'm still not medication free, and I'm still suffering insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of detachment. What I'm really wondering is if anyone has been on this combination of medications, and how they approached the taper. It doesn't matter which one I cut, I feel the effects of both in very much the same way with the same type of symptoms. Should I be tapering say half a milligram of Valium every two weeks, and 100 mg of Gabapentin every 2 weeks? Or tackle one at a time??? I apologize as this intro has turn into a book, I'm just very desperate for answers from people who have been through this I'm not seeking medical advice just personal experiences. My doctor and my pharmacist both say that what I'm experiencing is impossible given my dosage. But i know better. Just last year I was a highly functioning, healthy , strong, muscular, independent hard-working man, that ate a very healthy diet. After taking the Klonopin for just 17 days, the aftermath has been the loss of my job, i've had to move in with my sister for the time being. And all any doctor wants to do is give me more drugs or up my doses. I know the reality is this is a side effect kind of withdrawal from the medication so I refuse to do that. I have had a ton of blood work, and other neurological tests that are all perfectly normal I currently take both ionic and threonate magnesium in the middle of the day. I dont know if it helps ot not... i still eat healthy and walk at least 3 miles a day. SYMPTOMS I have lost 10 pounds of muscle, i have diahrea everyday I have benign faciculation dissorter My hands are shakey I have a massive panic attack in the middle of the night that wakes me up After the panic attqck at night I spend the rest of my hours in stage 2 of sleep ( where i feel like im not sleeping but i actually am) during this time i have a constant stream of thoughts, songs stuck in my head, and thins that make literaly no sense at all... I sleep between 2 and 6 hours per night. I have daytime anxiety mainly in the afternoon. Thank you, and best wishes to all of you.

2010- Two years of severe headaches. Bad vision in one eye. Muscle pains. The doctors did not say anything. 2012- anxiety appeared. the first drug sertaline - a paradoxical reaction. I got depression, ss thoughts and other bad symptoms. 2012- 2016 paroxetine - - I tappered slowly, but I did not know yet that it should be stopped more slowly. 3 months without paroxetine and withdrawal syndrome appeared. Return to the drug worsened the matter. I crashed. Bridge with fluoxetine. A year passed. at the end of September 2016 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did test in two different laboratories. 08/08/2016-now fluoxetin 20 mg 01/05/2016- now- triticco / trazadone 75 mg clonozepam - 04.03.2017. from 20.11.2017 I started tapper from 0.5 to 0.125 mg- when I got some relief from Lyme treatment. Now I am treated with ILADS ( Lyme and bartonella) and also tapper psycho drags. I want to not rule out the syndrome and stop the drugs safely. I am asking for support and exchange of experience, especially people who suffer from Lyme disease. I need to make plan. How to discontinue: clonazepam 0,125 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg and trazadon 75 mg How I feel now: Antibiotics have sustained discomfort from the urinary tract and improved the results of cytology. I have more windows, but I still experience strong hits of depression and pain in small joints, a specially neck. Through complicated diagnostics of Lyme disease and the syndrome, I do not know which symptoms are from what. Thank you for your attention, sorry for mistakes.

Hi ! I am now two years off klonopin. I used it for 13 years. I still now suffer from nerve pain : numbness, buzzing, tingling, burning, pins and needles burning sensation in limbs. But this condition worsens as I started Tapering Luvox last spring. The condition is now so bad that I can't sleep. I also have to deal with muscle pain all over. I really think tapering the SSRI increased that benzo protracted withdrawal related nerve pain symptoms. I had an MRi which is normal. Not sure if I should continue to taper the SSRI or take a break. I am currently half way through...Outside the nerve pain, I haven't noticed other symptoms ! So taking a break ? But if it takes years anyway before nerve pain goes away, this might just be a waste of time stopping to taper Luvox.

I'm holding at .25 mg of clonazepam twice a day. Since September 2017 have been slowly tapering down from .5mg , 3 times a day from Aug 2017. The madness started when I tried to taper off 1 mg of xanax 3 times a day in May 2017 . I could not taper off xanax , even with a trial of ativan or valium both intolerable. 2 mg dose of valium caused uncontrollable shaking of body and stuttering when speaking . Ended up in Aug 2017 , in hospital , pulled off xanax, thrown on mirtazepiene , gabapentin and clonazepam . Have slowly tapered off the gabapentin and mirtazepiene, one at a time . I need help in lowering my dose of clonazepam , because have been holding for 30 days + due to on and off internal vibrations , and the start of warming spine with tingling , assorted chills on and off, etc . My fear is the next taper will bring constant burning of spine , as had with xanax , and worse the reinstatement of gabapentin. Gabapentin did stop burning spine but with depression, blurred vision, weight gain and acne like eruptions on face and neck , as well as other side effects , etc. I need help on my next drop . Do I just stay where I am at and hope the internal vibrations, tingling , and warming spine at some point stop ? I'm very strong and determined to be free of this drug but do not know how to endure burning nerve pain from withdrawal . I have tried topical magnesium oil , oral melatonin for sleep , Ubiquinal , etc to no avail. Ubiquinal at low dose reved me up , just to stimulating . Who knows if placebo effect , but tart cherry juice , twice a day allows for some sleep. I find my body during tapering, less is more and fear supplements cause more harm due to a very sensitive nervous system. I do take vitamin b with c and vitamin d . I follow a low cholesterol diet , no alcohol or caffeine . My DR. does not believe in protracted withdrawal or that my symptoms stem from benzos . A neurologist disagrees as thankfully no neurological damage just neurological symptoms every time a cut in dose is made . Does any one have any insight to ease my suffering ?

Hello there good people. Nice to meet you all. I am so relieved that I have found folks that know what I am going through. I am 61 years old and have just carefully and slowly weaned myself off Sertraline and Diazepam which I have been on since December 2014. At the moment I have cancer of the larynx so it was imperative I got off the meds so that I can work on getting my immune system fully up and running. I also gave up tobacco and alcohol in December 2014 so my body has a lot to do. And I now have a tracheostomy as a way to buy time as I have decided not to go for chemo or radio. I have a very old dog who is suffering from kidney failure and dementia so between us we present a truly thrilling picture of good health and sanity - she pees on the carpet a lot and I have panic attacks. Most attractive! It will be wonderful to be able to talk about what I am going through to people who know about it. Nobody else I know has any experience of this problem so I feel very alone with it which I know is not a good thing. My son (not living with me) is very supportive but I want to keep him out of this as much as I can as he has his own life to live. I also look forward to being able to offer support to other people when I am feeling a bit less stressed. At the moment I am having lots of fear thoughts which can be quite overwhelming. I have lots of other symptoms but this is the one I am finding difficult to deal with at the moment. I shall stop now before I get carried away. Thank you for your time.

i everyone:I have been tapering from a benzodiazepine for almost a year and now am ready to undertake the antidepressants. I guess some people say do the antidepressants first but its too late for that now. I am almost done with my benzo taper. I am copying my first entry from Benzo buddies here because the history is the same Current cocktail: 60 mg Cymbalta, 150 mg Wellbutrin SR, and .090 mg of Klonopin (Benzo). I won't bore you with too many details but I think an abridged version is in order. I was first put on a cocktail of Klonopin, Wellbutrin, and Cymbalta over 12 years ago. I had been on SSRI's for 15 years at this point. The Pdoc said this would help with anxiety and never mentioned a word about dependence, addiction or withdrawal. He continued to prescribe for the next three years till he fired me for missing appointments. My next three pdocs said nothing other than it was hard to get off but it had no negative side effects. One said I might need to stay on the rest of my life, after all it's cheap! My GP refused to offer opinions and would not prescribe psychotropic meds.Meanwhile my marriage was falling apart and it was getting harder and harder to do my job.In June 2014, a friend referred me to a Lyme doctor who had a great rep. He spent an hour talking to me and then said he wanted to do about $1200 worth of testing. Result? I definitely had Lyme disease and I spent the next 2-1/2 years doing antibiotics and herbal protocols to kill the Lyme. At the end of this, I still had most of symptoms and had almost been fired and then went on Long Term disability in late 2015. SSA denied me but my company had a private plan (I know I am blessed here). To the Lyme Doctors credit he had said initially that I should try to get off Benzos and he took me from 1 mg down to .75 mg in one cut. I then started seeing a number of homeopaths, naturopaths and other quacks. I got a new Pdoc and asked him to help me taper off K. I just had this feeling.....Fine, he said. Why don't you go from .75 mg down to .5 mg, the tablets are hard to cut more than that. Yes sir, I said in my most humble voice. Well, I am sure you all know how that went. I reinstated to .6875 mg (or therabouts) after 3 weeks of hell. By this time, I had found the ashton manual, and benzobuddies. When I asked him to slow the taper, he said he didn't know how. I finally found an oral K pill on my own that was .125 mg. He graciously gave me one month's worth. I begged for Valium. And, no way, he said, through his assistant. I have quit him and have another appointment with somehow who actually is familiar with Ashton in Late June.It is now over 2 months later. I am have ordered supplies for a liquid taper. My major symptoms haven't changed much and are brain fog, memory issues, severe fatigue, unrefreshing sleep, and muscle spasms (which got better after reinstating). I am also grouchy which explains why I am alone a lot. I try to be pleasant and avoid the topic of Benzos, but it is hard.I did two dry cuts and am now down to .53125 mg. (or therabouts). Symptoms have been simply outrageous and I have been holding for 1-1/2 months.I have no idea what the new Pdoc will do, so I am going to try very small cuts using water titration next. Still with K. What a wonder drug! It worked for all of 4 weeks back in 2005.Well, thats my story and I am sticking to it. Would love to get to know some of you. I listen well and I actually have other interests. I just don't get out as much anymore.Blessings,

I'm a 54 year old female that has been on Cymbalta for about 7 years. I started at 120 mgs. and that was lowered to 90 mgs. because it raised my blood pressure. I stayed on 90 mgs. for quite a while. Last fall I stupidly stopped taking this drug because I didn't think it was working. I didn't know the dangers of cold turkey. I reinstated it 2 months after being off it. I'm now on 60 mgs. I take 30 mgs. 2 x a day. I've been back on it for 4 months trying to reinstate past the 2-3 week reinstatement time frame. I feel that the Cymbalta is no longer working. I have a lot of anxiety and feeling nausea. And diarrhea. I do also take a benzo. I just don't know what to do now. I can't cold turkey it again but I'm not feeling good. I need help! Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

I was recently referred to benzo buddies http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=89.0for more success stories. I found tons success stories just for the year of 2017, and most are from much shorter tapering (less than a year). Wow, so we who are on ssri are in the worst hit of all, in the order of street drugs, benzo, SSirs with increasing difficulty in withdrawal???!!! This new awareness is very heart hardening.

Hi everyone, I have been on Klonopin since 2013 and started my taper in tolerance withdrawal this past February at 2.5 mg's a day. My method of tapering was to liquefy .5 mg's in 100 mL's of milk and reduce by 10% a month while taking the rest of my dosage dry. Things were far from good but ever since I've been at about 1.75 when I slowed to 5% I've been completely non functional. I'm extremely dizzy, have DP/DR, horrible morning anxiety, agoraphobia, bad gastro issues, insomnia, depression and many other symptoms that I'm sure many of you suffer from. I know that everyone is different and that a MT was not a guarantee to a smooth ride by any means but I at least thought it would be bearable. I don't work, I don't see my friends, my memory and photo-sensitivity are so bad that I can't really even watch TV/movies/sports and I honestly have no idea how anyone can live like this for a prolonged period of time. My prescriber is extremely unwise when it comes to benzos and attributes any worsening in my symptoms entirely to my "underlying anxiety disorder" while pushing drugs even though I've been seeing her for three years and have gotten MUCH worse as I unwittingly let her up my Klonopin dosage and try several SSRI's and other psych meds. I just don't know how to progress. I am at 1.5 mg's so I am just holding there and taking my full dosage dry for the time being but I don't know whether to try a cut and hold or find someone who will oversee a Valium crossover (which I've been looking for to no avail for a long time) or what. I just don't know if there's anything that I could be doing to limit the amount of suffering that I'm going through and I'm feeling very hopeless and confused. I don't ever seem to "stabilize" but I don't know how to proceed. I'm not sure what I'm looking for to come out of this but any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

'm new to the forum and feel like I've found a place where I can get some well informed answers. You all seem amazing! I'm trying to taper off Buspar (25mg- 5 weeks) and clonazapam (7 weeks - made it to .25 mg and am stuck). Which should I do first? I just read on this forum about tapering off ADs before Benzos and wonder what holds true for Buspar? I know Buspar affects seratonin in some way, but don't understand the mechanism and know it's different than ADs so maybe I should go for the Benzo first? While I have not been on them very long, it is clear to me that for some odd reason I have an extremely sensitive nervous system. I tried to go off the benzo twice and failed miserably. I had horrible incapacitating symptoms (I was on Ativan for 3 weeks and cold turkey-ed off at my doctors insistence which was a huge mistake) Then she switched me to clonazapam and after getting more stable i was able to go down from .5mg). My doc and psychiatrist are pushing Zoloft or lexapro and doesn't believe these symptoms are due to withdrawal but i really feel that I am stable now (had a stressful event in Aug/Sept which is gone and felt good at the start of Oct) and just anxious about the tapering down and withdrawal symptoms since both times I tried to stop they were so incredibly traumatic. Psychiatrist told me To just stop Buspar cold turkey but there is no way. I've tried reducing the dose by 10% the past 2 nights and it's been rough- not like the benzo but I can tell it isn't going to be easy. (Super nauseous and increased anxiety, physical symptoms). I've got more background but wanted to keep it shorter! Thanks for thoughts about which one to stop first!

Currently trying to withdraw from Valium and really struggling with anxiety. I'm down at 5.62mgs.I'm doing a daily micro taper which is getting ridiculously slow. Started taking 10 mgs of Citralopram about 4 months to pick me up and help me with anxiety. It's does nothing though when Valium withdrawal hits. Wondering should I quit it as I don't want to get hooked on another drug? Can I quit it now as I'm on Valium? If so how do I go about it? Is there anything else that helps with anxiety?

Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy