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  1. Hello All, I have been on and off this community for almost a couple of years now and finally when the registrations opened I thought I will join to make my journey more systematic. Originally diagnosed with GAD when I was 18 years old and been through a cocktail of drugs (complete timeline at the end). Over the years, the diagnosis has morphed into GAD, OCD and Depression. The last drug I was prescribed is as follows Clomipramine 75mg Lithium 800 mg I have been using this for about 2 years now, and in the last 6 months or so I have observed that I have almost unlimited energy, talk a bit too much and struggle with sleep. Specifically I have Nocturnal panic attacks, which keep waking me up and eventually I get tired of the chest tightness, walks, excessive eating at night and finally fall asleep around 3AM. My Psydoc, asked me to lower Clomipramine to 50mg. This is approx 6 months ago, I did accordingly and symptoms of OCD (intrusive images), lack of energy, crying spells etc came with full force. Hence I restored the dosage back waited 6 weeks to stabilize and commenced on a slow taper approx 10/11/2023. A bit more on the insomnia, I don't have trouble falling asleep, its just that I wake up with panic attack, some time restless leg syndrome. I frequently get more than 4 or 5 panic attacks per night. I have been prescribed Valium 5 mg, which I have been taking for over 8 months now. When I have good spell, I take half (2.5mg) so in total I would have been 60% time taking 5mg each day, and 40% time taking 2.5mg. I am fully aware of benzo dependence and try my best to lower it the best I could but currently I don't want to disturb too many things in one go. Back to my primary medication, My first taper step was 12.5mg (I know it is a big jump, but since I had benzo support I thought atleast I will take this first step higher than 10%) right now I am at 62.5 mg Clompiramine. approximately 6 weeks into it. Anxiety is on the rise but manageable currently. There are good and bad days but overall I am managing to do my tasks. Hypo mania / excited state has definitely gone away and I do have some lethargy and lack of motivation at times. Psydocs wasnt keen on slow taper but I put my foot down that that's how I am going to do it, he is supportive reasonably although he may not believe my approach. I do get second thoughts if I am doing the right thing or shall I listen to my psydoc and add another medication to the mix to manage. So far I have resisted and am coping. I intend to stay at this dose for atleast a few more months before taking another cut (definitely within 10% this time). Valium I will continue till I have stability on clomipramine 50mg. Then will decide how to proceed from that point. Long way to go, wish me luck. 2001 - Generalized anxiety disorder (derealization) - Lexapro 10 mg 2008 - Lexapro 20 mg (increased due to post baby blues) 2010 - Lexapro 30 mg 2016 - Lexapro 40 mg 2019-2020 - Lexapro stopped working, rapid tapers and switching to Fluexotine, Effexor, Remeron etc caused severe depression 2020 - Tried TMS but no avail. Suicidal ideation. Ended up in ER 2021 - ECT sessions to treat Major depressive episodes, discharged from hospital with Effexor 225mg but it wasnt managing the situation 2021- God send Psydoc, identified OCD as a contributory cause, put me on clomipramine 75 mg and Lithium 1500 mg 2021 - 2022: Dosage stabilization at Clomipramine 75mg and Lithium 800 mg, overall high energy state with brief almost hypo mania episodes here and there. 2022-23: Insominia kicked in due to nocturnal panic attacks Nov- 2023: Clomipramine taper started 62.5mg
  2. I don't know how to improve my symptoms. Two months ago I stopped citalopram after taper over two months from 20mg. After 3 weeks I got slight blurred vision and dizzy I reinstated 5mg after 5 weeks with no improvement I went up to 10mg 2 weeks later After 2 weeks I started getting ringing in my ears (doctor says it's drawn in eardrum probably after an infection and will get better in a few weeks) A week later my symptoms seem worse not better Doctor says I should go up to 20mg.
  3. Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. (English is not my first language) Back in June 2017, I tried Mushrooms (psychedelic) for the first time and unfortunately had a bad trip. It lasted for about 4 hours and after that It wore off. A week later I woke up with heart palpitation, a very weird feeling (now I know it was derealization),stiff neck and a weird feeling on top of my head. At that time, I had never heard the word "Anxiety" in my life and didn’t know that I was experiencing panic attack. It got worse and turned into health anxiety and some kind of checking symptoms OCD. I saw multiple doctors and they first gave me Clonazepam which I took for a month and then I stopped it because I heard it might cause addiction. Then they put me on Gabapentin which cause me feeling my skin is burning which lasted almost 3 months. Then I tried Lexapro for two weeks which was my first exposure to SSRI. I stopped it because it made me more anxious. I almost gave up and was bedridden until in 2018 one doctor who was very famous put me on a cocktail of 25mg Clomipramine, 20mg Paxil and 2.5 mg Olanzapine. This was the first time I experienced depersonalization, completely out of body experience, very scary but because of the cocktails I was numb to my condition. He insisted on staying on the medication and I did. I got better after two months, and he stopped Olanzapine and after 6 months I stopped Clomipramine and increased my Paxil to 40mg. I was fine for two years and then I decided to tape it and come off it. It took me almost a year to be off the Paxil with no withdrawal at all. 4 month later in 2021 out of nowhere I started to have the same weird head feeling like there is a heavy weight on my head, my eyes were blurry, stiff neck, tinnitus, clogged ear and… So I freak out and was searching for herbs to calm my anxiety, I tried St John Wart and then again my DP came back with severe OCD. I have been checking every single word, thought, and any body sensation in my mind to see if I feel normal! (if that makes any sense at all) So after a month of struggling again I went to the same doctor and he put me on Paxil 20 and increased it to 40mg in 2 months. It got me 100 times more anxious, sever DP/DR, severe OCD, almost lost my mind. Then he decided to decrease it to 20 and follow the same cocktail that worked on mt last time by adding 25 mg clomipramine. I got better but not so much so he stopped Paxil and increase clomipramine to 75mg. I was still struggling with DP/DR, OCD and anxiety and he decided to try Lexapro and bump me to 20mg in 2 months. At this point I gave up on my future and my health, and was just following whatever he said hopingto see a minor improvement. I was getting worse by day and then I started to tape myself to 0 in 11 months. Unfortunately, I found your group late and now I am experiencing all possible symptoms including: DP( I don’t know if it is DP since I don’t have the out of body experience but I feel disconnected from myself, my wife and my mom, OCD, complete emotional blunting, head pressure, weird head feeling like all my head muscles are tight, tinnitus, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, tooth ache, a little anxiety which is weird like I am numb and doesn't even feel anxiety anymore. So that’s about it, sorry for long introduction and hope someone can help me and guide me through this time.
  4. Well hello everyone. I am about to write a bigger introduction in the near future but for now im just in to much (physical pain to write all of it down). For now I'm looking for some Good advice on how to deal with my current situation. I have been taking zoloft for 8 years on and off. Up until last week i took it for 5 consecutive years. This has been due to my ocd and depression. Twice (before these last 5 years) i tried tapering down without succes. I had terrible brain zaps and just overall feeling of depression. The last 6 months ive been under treatment of a psychiatric department of a hospital. Due to zoloft not doing its job anymore at 200 mgs they told me i should try clomipramine. They said the switch could be done within 3 weeks and tapering of zoloft could be done within just one week, because they said clomipramine would protect me from any zoloft withdrawal symptoms... Well here i am 2 weeks in and my right side of my body ( neck, shoulder, back, arm shoulder blade and since yesterday my leg (buttocks' are cramping up like crazy, constant terrible pain. I have no brain zaps or other mental symptoms, just crazy painfull cramped up muscles. I told them i thought it must have been the newly taken clomipramine they denied it and insisted i must have ruptured some kind of neck muscle or something during working out. I highly doubt it. The pain started to come about a couple days in of tapering down zoloft and starting up clomipramine. They pursueded me into holding on. But yesterday i called it quits. I called them and said im stopping the clomipramine because we only got to 75 mg per day yet, and the end goal was 250 in about 2 weeks from now. They told me i could just quit the clomipramine without real taper. So i did. Yesterday morning was my last tablet. But after taking that decision i found that alot of my symptoms may be due to having tapered zoloft waaaaay to fast. And here is my question, what do i do? Do i go back on zoloft and taper it down with the 10% rule ive read about here? Im about a week without taking the time zoloft entirely now, would restarting it not cause even more trouble? I would love some advice, especially because none of my healtcare doctors seems to know or care about it. I really am in so much pain that im taking oxycodone, paracetamol, diazepam, and 3200 mg of ibuprofen. The pain stilling cocktail maybe causes me to have 20% less pain... I cant keep going like this it really hurts, please help!
  5. Luvox / fluvoxamine 200 and klonopin 0.5 early user 7 weeks fast taper 6 days feeling hell Hello to every one thats my real story first apologize for my poor language : in summary: i took about 7 weeks antidepressant meds and cutt off suddenly beacyse it going me crazy and feels anxiety!! İn march 2022 i gad veey wild acute withradal for 8 next weeks and some wild symptoms dp dr/ illusion,dizziness, nausea, panic makes me crying ,tinitus, blured vision, hunger breath, palpitation,think of dying , negetive toughts, confussions... in month 6 iam realy better but have some problems still there include: 1- wierd and horny 24/7 if i ejaculate terror and anxiety attacks and all symptoms for 14 next day!! To settle down 2-sleep problem not beacuse i cant sleep terror of wet dream and orgasm in bed and triggered symptoms!! pleease help me i am very tired from this life , sick of it i think nearly kill myself iam crying for these situation all the time 3-akathesia and anhedonia, negetive tought still there Please help me what can i do dont getting horny i suddenly meet nofap group and it help me to lower symptoms but what can i do down my horny level when iam sleep why and how prescriptioned for me antidepreasant Before i took antidepressant pills in december 2021 i had gastric (one year ago) and dr prescribed me 3 bunch of antibiotic (as you know antibiotics stimulate CNS) for 10 days and but beacuse of medical malpractice i ate for 40 days and after that felt i was dying unfortunately this not end yet middle ear infection appears frequently after that and i've been forced to eat another 20 now i get my panic attack multiple times in days dellirium , feel out of my body , fast breath my guess is serotonin syndrome!!! And go to hospital but day said iam ok and it is mental issue next day in February 2022 i went to Psychiatrist he priscribed me list of drugs to eat 1-Flouvoxamine/luvox 200 mg 100 day and night after i said i cant handle it is became 50 day 50 night 2-klomopin .5 mg night 3-quetianpin/seroquel 12.5 mg night 4-trazodone 25 night 5-buspirone/buspar 5 day and night 6-nortriptyline 25 night İ continue these pills for about 7 bext weeks and treat my middle ear again and anxiety and dellirium comes back but not hard as before so i talked to my dr and he change luvox 200 to 100 but not work and when i have sex or ejaculation 1to4 next days i had wild anxiety but meds comes it down ! İ was desprate and deppressed from this situation and deside to not take them any more!!! And boom after some abruptly discountiuation in last of march 2022
  6. Hi! First of all apologize for my english, it’s not my native language. I’m a 35 year old male and I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression when I was 21. Since that moment I took so many different antidepressants that I can’t even remember all their names. Until I was 30 years old I took mainly Lyrica (Pregabalin) and Entact (Escitalopram) and I never experienced any sexual collateral symptoms from them. When I was 30 years old a traumatic event changed my life (the girlfiend I had since I was 22 left me) and those meds were no longer effective to treat my anxiety and depression. Since that moment I changed a lot of different types of antidepressants (and also some antipsychotics) without any sexual problem. The one who worked better for me was Anafranil (Clomipramine) 25 mg. I started taking it 2 and a half years ago in combination with Lantanon (Mianserin) 15 mg and Rivotril (Clonazepam) 3 drops each day. I have to admit that they worked great for my symptoms, I was feeling very well. I started taking them in May 2019 and after some months I started suffering from anorgasmia. My psychiatrist assured me it was a temporary effect of Anafranil. During the following year and a half I was single, so not sexually active. Anyway I noticed a progressive decrease in libido but I didn’t give too much importance to this problem (my bad). I also replaced Mianserin with Trazodone for a couple of months because for a certain period it was difficult to find it in my country. 5 months ago I had the first occasions to have sex in 1 and a half year and was in that moment that I truly realized how my libido has been destroyed by the meds. I tried to have sex in 3 different occasions but failed miserably every time. Since that moment I can’t achieve a full and stable erection without Cialis (but it doesn’t work all the time) even during masturbation. I immediately told to my psychiatrist about the situation and he told me that Anafranil could do that but it was reversible. So I stopped taking Anafranil in October 2021 and I started taking Buspirone, since he said it has always worked to resolve those side effects of tricyclic antidepressants.I took only Buspirone for 3 weeks but without any significant improvements. So I decided to go to an andrologist, who prescribed me a “rehabilitation therapy” with cialis 5 mg 3 times a week for a month (ormonal values are normal). In his opinion my impotence was caused by a mixture of organic and psychological factors. At this point I started panicking. I went back to my psychiatrist and I explained him the situation and told him I was afraid i got PSSD. He told me that there isn’t any scientific evidence of PSSD and that it is all in my head. In his opinion i developed an obsession for the sexual dysfunctions I had when I was taking Anafranil and now some psychological dynamics cause the dysfunctions to persist after discontinuation. He prescribed me another SSRI (Fluvoxamine) in order to get rid of this obsession. I told him I was too afraid to take it because I’m worried it could worsen my symptoms but he answered me there isn’t any risk. I went to another andrologist two months ago who prescribed me 3 months of Cialis Daily (5 mg) and one month of complete abstinence from porn and masturbation (???). The abstinence improves the situation a little bit and Cialis daily almost resolved the ED but I’m afraid to develop tachyphylaxis taking it every day. I found a new psychiatrist who believes me and recognize PSSD. She told me that there’s no cure and the only thing I can do is to avoid SSRI and wait. Two months ago I started to do cognitive behavioral therapy to reduce the distress caused by the situation, which helps me a little bit. At the moment I’m taking only 1 drop (0.1 mg) or Rivotril (Clonazepam) any other day to contain the severe anxiety caused by this condition. Since I stopped Anafranil I don’t suffer of anorgasmia anymore but my libido is still very low and I have pretty severe ED along with a strong anhedonia and cognitive dysfunction (sh*tty memory, can’t focus etc..) Right now because of this situation i suffer from extreme anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts every day. Anyway I try to stay phisically active (I run 1/2 times a week) and to spend time with my friends to get some relief from this mental torture but I can’t open up with them because I’m ashamed of the condition I put myself into. Since I also have traits of OCD I’m worried that psychogenic factors could play a huge role in my situation, preventing me to feel any possibile improvements.
  7. Hello everyone! Forty+ male from Germany here. As you can see in my signature, I've been on psychiatric medications, i.e. antidepressants, for most of my adult life. It all started in 2004 (maybe a lot earlier, but more on that probably later) when I was no longer able to sleep, felt like a piece of sh*t and could no longer go to university to finish my studies. Went to a psychiatrist after an amount of nagging by my girlfriend and was put on a low dose of amitryptiline, which actually helped with sleep for a while, but did not seem to do anything besides. Finally quit university after a while and sacked the shrink and amitryptiline on my own in early 2007. Until that no other therapy except meds. Fast forward to the summer of 2007 where I got into another crisis concerning my education and my future in general. Suicidal. Went to my GP who referred me to a different psychiatrist who ordered a course of mirtazapine and CBT. The mirtazapine helped me sleep (a lot) and made me gain weight (a lot). CBT was interesting and, in the beginning, helpful. When my therapist got pregnant at after about a year, I decided I'd had enough of therapy for the moment. Life went on, rough at times, and as the mirtazapine lost its effect, it was time to try Fluoxetine, as this was supposed to be more effective at lifting my mood (or so I was told). As I could not sleep without the mirtazapine, my doc added Trimipramine to the Fluoxetin. The fluoxetine regularly gave me diarrhea and after another (deeper, I'd say the absolute worst until then) crisis in 2012 which had quetiapine added to my cocktail, I ended up with clomipramine and quetiapine. The clomipramine was terrible during the first weeks to months: I was sweating like a river and short of breath at even the smallest exertion, could not have an orgasm, but at least my anxiety was gone. Quetiapine was discontinued quickly in 2015 after blood tests showed it affected my liver function. (And I blame it for my type 2 diabetes which was discovered in 2016, but try telling that a doctor...) After that my doctor recommended a switch to escitalopram as its side effect profile was supposed to be more tolerable compared to clomipramine. Pregebaline was added as escitaloprame was not as effective as clomipramine in killing my anxiety. Stopped the pregabaline for a while after I weighed over 90kg (about 198 lbs) at ca. 170cm height (about 5 feet 7 inches if I am not mistaken). To make a long story short: In 2021, when I was stuck at home due to the pandemic, I decided I'd had enough of those meds and started a, retrospectively, very quick taper: if I remember correctly I went from 20mg escitalopram to 0mg in about four weeks. I cannot say that I felt really bad during that time -- I was more energetic, but unfortunately also a lot more aggressive (my poor wife... now I know it was probably withdrawal) and as summer was approaching, my anxiety and mood swings kept returning. I discontinued the doxepin as well, but more slowly. I do not remember how exactly, to be honest. In July, as I desperately wanted to enjoy my summer holidays and not battle with anxiety, sleepless nights and mood swings, I went up from 0mg to 20mg abruptly. Nausea for one or two days, then I felt als I had always felt while taking escitalopram. Indifferent to anything and everything. For me, escitalopram is a real I-don't-care-at-all-pill. But I could function and sleep. Ok, now am I here in spring 2022 and want to get rid of my psych meds for good. I started tapering in autumn '21 and am currently at 7,5mg escitalopram. My current schedule is reduction by 2,5mg on a monthly basis. I often feel reasonably well, but unfortunately am experiencing some mood swings on a day to day basis. Sometimes I just long for the day to be over so I can go to bed. As today is a day that could be a lot better 😆, I am not sure if I will take the next step to 5mg which would be due on the next friday. Thanks for reading that far and I'd be glad to hear from you! N.
  8. Greetings, after what has been almost three months suffering from a wide array of changes and symptoms that began once I stopped taking Clomipramine (Anafranil), I have finally decided to make a post here and seek out help. I was initially against it because I thought I would be digging myself deeper into a hole, but see no alternative at the moment in regards to finding hope and assistance. This really all began when I started taking Clomipramine, but manifested itself as mainly ED related problems. Nothing like emotion and attraction seemed to have been affected while I was taking Clomipramine. I was given this medication to “attempt” to help with OCD, and Depression aswell as Anxiety. I have always been a straight male (24), with a healthy sex life. I have always found women attractive, and had no issues before taking and stopping Clomipramine. The issues arose around Dec 22nd of 2021, and I will describe them below: As I stopped taking Clomipramine, I found a number of hellish side effects or symptoms that began upon cessation. These include below: -Lack of Emotions (Not sure how to describe this) -Lack of Attraction to Women (Definitely has been the MOST difficult to bear) -Sexual side effects: such as Low Libido and what first started as inability to get erect, but around the middle of February I noticed subtle improvement in this department. I now am struggling with pre-mature ejaculation, almost to an incredible degree. I am able to get erect, but it is difficult, and I have pleasureless orgasms. -Incredible amounts of anxiety over this entire situation, and feelings of complete despair and hopelessness. It’s odd because I almost feel the things I have been going through in my dreams aswell. The only thing I experienced while on the drug was ED, and difficulty reaching climax. It seems everything else began once I stopped taking it. I have taken anti-depressants in the past without issue upon ceasing them. I did smoke Marijuana while taking anti-depressants in the past, and smoked it once or twice while using Clomipramine. I was actually hospitalized for about half a month in January of 2022, because of how difficult this has all been. I feel hopeless, and completely lost. I am unable to live life without my sexuality, and feel betrayed and angered that the medication I was given to help me ended up doing this instead. The Dr. I have narrows it down to my OCD, and Anxiety. He almost refuses to recognize what I am dealing with. I will admit some concern over what part OCD might be playing in all of this, and if I am making everything worse with what has been called my “sticky brain” (attachment to problems and inability to stop thinking about them, researching about them, and worrying about them). I am looking for hope from people who’ve been in the same situation. I’ve looked online for people who’ve mentioned lack of attraction and recovery but have found few stories if any. It’s all been very surreal, and any assistance might be beneficial at this point. Thank you, and sorry for the length of my post.
  9. Dear all IS it possible that stopping 25 mg of clomipramine (im still on lexapro 10 and zopiclone and nozinan) gives massive, extreme anxiety, Terror, insomnia? I stopped clomipramine 16 days ago. The anxiety IS getting worse each day. I thought lexapro was going to make up for thé withdrawal. I cannot go back. I am already on 3 drugs. Been on psych drugs hell for 23 years...life distroyed... I was on clomipramine for one year at différent doses. 75 then 37,5. Only 25 mg withdrawal Can give that horrible anxiety ? Thanks a lot
  10. Hi all, I'm grateful to have found this place. I have the feeling I'm going to stick around here for a while... My medication history is as follows: January 2010: start Lexapro 10mg for anxiety attacks due to college-related stress. History of health-OCD. Summer 2014: start tapering Lexapro February 2015: crash at 1.25mg Lexapro. 8 months of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. April 2015: reinstated 20mg Lexapro November 2015 - June 2021: tapered Lexapro from 20mg to 10mg 9th June 9 2021: crashed. Severe panic attacks, immediate suicidal ideation. Not sure whether this is from W/D since this happened at 10mg of Lexapro? Updosed to 12mg Lexapro. Updosed to 15mg Lexapro. 15 August 2021: hospitalised with severe clinical depression with OCD-treats. In 8 weeks time, doctors updose Lexapro to 20mg, then down again to 10mg. They add Seroquell up to 200mg (but got RLS because of this). Seroquell was stopped again. 15 October 2021: further hospitalised, where I follow therapies like CBT, DBT, MBT, MFN, ... 1 November 2021: doctors switch Lexapro to Paxil for ongoing anxiety and OCD. 1 week of 10mg, 2 weeks of 20mg. Helps with mood and energy but anxiety is still high. Feel mania-like. Sex drive highly increased when coming off the Lexapro, but by the time I reach a dose of 20mg Paxil, I feel completely numb. 29 November 2021: Paxil down again to 10mg. 2 December 2021: Paxil down to 5mg. 5 December 2021: 0mg Paxil. W/D starts with severe anxiety attacks, insomnia, inner restlessness, brain zaps, nausea, dizziness. 9 December 2021: reinstated 5mg Paxil. W/D symptoms reside, anxiety and despair remain. 24 December 2021: added 25mg Anafranil (clomipramine) for anxiety and OCD. After 2 doses, complete anhedonia sets in. I feel detached from everything and everyone. Also sex drive (arousal, libido) is completely lost, I fear for PSSD. 28 December 2021: take last dose of clomipramine 25mg. I had hoped that the anhedonia would be triggered by the clomipramine and that by quitting this, my feelings would return. Unfortunately I did not experience this. My guess is that the Paxil might cause this, as well as causing the complete loss of sex drive. 1 January 2022: quit 5mg Paxil (which I was on since about November 1 2021). Since then, I have had severe anhedonia (or DP/DR?). It scares the hell out of me, I feel so detached. I expect the other W/D symptoms will come as well... I again feel suicidal, but now in a more rational way. I cannot see myself living a life without emotions. For someone who's a HSP, this is the complete opposite of what I have always been. I really do not want to take the Paxil any longer, since it destroyed my sex drive and I fear it will continue to do this for as long as I take it. I'm also not sure whether I should reinstate anything, and which of these three meds? To make things even more complicated, the doctor at the hospital urged me to updose the clomipramine to 50mg. But I really don't dare to take it, since I was already so emotionally anesthetized at 25mg. I guess my main questions right now are: - Will this anhedonia go away? Is it likely to be medicine- of W/D-related? I never had this before, not even when struggling with depression. It feels so chemically induced. - Could I really have PSSD from only 6 weeks on Paxil? Is it likely that this will go away as well? - Should I reinstate? But which medicine, and at which dose? I really fear the anhedonia and the loss of libido and I am certain this is caused by the meds so I am very reluctant to take these again... It is so hard to realise what these drugs have taken away from me. I literally feel gutted now that my emotions are taken away from me. I feel there is nothing of me left anymore... I'm sure I will update here again when other W/D-symptoms come up. Thank you very much for any given support.
  11. Hi all, I’m coming to this side after experiencing years of what I believe to be protracted benzo and adderall withdrawal. I couldn’t cope with being completely med-free so I decided to try an anti depressant called clomipramine. After 6 years of being on this drug, a new horrible depression started to creep in. At first it was mild and I blamed it on work. Eventually it would be so bad that I felt like a demon was watching me and planting deep hopeless thoughts and despair inside my mind. Shortly before this, I had tried Keto, one session of LENS neurofeedback, and my beloved Dog has passed away. At first I wondered what had worsened this creepy weird depression, but over time it stuck with me and now I believe it to be some kind of symptom of being on this antidepressant for too long. I had experienced this type of thing before…on the benzo I ended up with more anxiety in the long run, and on the adderall long term I found I could concentrate less and less and always feel tired. ive been tapering off clomipramine for about a year and went from 112mg to 60mg. The “Hell” feeling as I call it is pretty bad now and I still fear it’s not the med causing it and that I’m under some sort of spiritual warfare… I’m going to keep tapering and hope to recover once im completely off. If anyone has any thoughts or tips it would be greatly appreciated. This really sucks!
  12. First of all, sorry for my bad English but I am from Spain. I am a man of 22 years old and 55.9 kg who was prescribed with Clomipramine 75mg and 1mg of Lorazepam every day to calm obsessions that don’t permit me to sleep for days. In this case, I was obsessed with the idea that I was schizophrenic, this is something common in the Pure OCD, which i was diagnosed later with a psychologist. These pills calmed me and permit me to sleep, but when months passed, December aprox., I was developing the WORST PURE OCD of my life which made me sick, things like homicidal ideation and aberrant stuff like that. Things that I wasn’t experiencing before accompanied with suicidal ideas that I hadn’t had in my life. This situation was accompanied with total anhedonia, and a feeling of careless with everything. I felt like a psychopath, I cared about nobody and nothing, I was experiencing ideas that I wasn’t related to until that day. Before, I was a person very humanistic and interested in cinema and art, now I care about nothing and everything stays indifferent to me. Now, in that situation of deep depression which I NEVER experienced BEFORE, I decided to taper off that poison which made me a person that I couldn’t recognize. After this, I decided to quit 1|4 of lorazepam on December for 2 weeks and then reduced to half of the pill for other 2 weeks, but I couldn’t lower the dosis to stay on 1|4 because of severe withdrawal symptoms, given that, I decided to increase the dose to half of the pill and stay on that dosis. Then, I rapidly reduced Anafranil to 37.5 mg on 26 January of 2020 to 17 of February of 2020. Then on 17 February of 2021, I rapidly reduced again on 18.75, taking it every other day, with severe abstinence syndrome before that. Finally, i stabilize in 18.75 without alternating, recommendation of my father who is doctor. I have stabilized in that dosis until now, that I found this page thank God, on 20 march, I hope you can help me. The first days when I tapered off were AWFUL with nausea, and vomiting, and sometimes I felt HORRIBLE without sense, but in alternate days without it was like hell, thinking of suicide constantly, brain zaps etc. The major symptoms now are severe anxiety sometimes, like waves, difficult sleep, emotional lability, dizziness, incapacity to connect with others, concentrate or study, horror mood swings which lead me sometimes to mania, crying for little things, irritability, aggressiveness, sweaty dreams, anhedonia, Pure OCD worse than ever and worse than with the Anafranil, constantly negative thoughts about my past and the fails that I committed, thoughts about the meaningless of life and feeling hopeless every time with me and the human species. Sometimes I experience tinnitus and I think about suicide too but I’m staying here trying to survive and trying to rescue the person that I was before. Now I’m taking 1 pill of omega 3 in the morning, that’s the only supplement that I’m taking, and I’m going to gym 2 days a week. Also, I would like to note that we cut the pills with a knife, in not a precise way, so the dosis I took each time was not exactly the same as the one we intended to. In addition, I was not taking the pills at the same time all the days, these two factors combined may have also interfered in my situation. Thanks for your attention and God bless you
  13. Hi there I’m new to the group was kept on benzos for over a year been off them 11 months (temazepam, diazepam snd lorazepam) horrific horrific withdrawals was on clomipramine for over a year been off it a few weeks when I came from 20mg to zero over 4 days (on advice of pscy) my brain went totally weird two sets of hideous withdrawals severe anhedonia loss of sense of self, personality, consciousness takeover, severe disconnect from self and past memories DR/DP no feelings of love or joy or hope or happiness was so suicidal they put me on duluxotene was on it 9 days made me feel worse came off it- my brain is absolutelu fried have also tried over the last months for sleeping melatonin, night nurse, herbal Nitol, ashwaganda, I feel so weird and disconnected ever single second it freaks me out will I ever return to normal ? Please send hope thanks
  14. Hi, I used citalopram 30 mg for 23 years. Because of recurring apathic behavior, psychiatrist advised getting off Citalopram in steps of -5mg per 2 weeks. First 15 mg no problems, from 15-10 Mgs I became scared, panicking. Psychiatrist advised going back to 30 Mgs in a few steps. But that dindn’t help and within a few days to a week I experienced hell. Protracted withdrawal. Old dosage of citalopram 30 Mg didn’t help. Psychiatrist advised 30 mg of oxazepam, then 75 Mg after a few weeks and finally 105 Mg after a few more weeks. Psychiatric hospital for 6 weeks, Citalopram was stopped, Oxazepam was tapered back to 55 Mg. Still hell. Second psychiatric hospital for 6 weeks, Oxazepam was stopped and Clomipramine 150 mg was started. Still hell. After a few months of Clomipramine 150 Mg I came back from hell. Still a lot of symptoms, but I can manage now. Got my life back. Should I try to get off Clomipramine or keep using it for the rest of my life to stay out of hell?
  15. After 24 plus years of bi-polar meds, lithium and clomipramine, which I don’t think I should ever have been on in the first place, I have finally managed to come off altogether super gradually over the last year. I have been off completely for about three months and feel much better. Except for recent and increasing episodes of acute anxiety and rages. I never had those before. Nothing like mood swings or depressions that I have ever experienced. Could this be symptoms of withdrawal? No-one in the NHS, of which I am a huge supporter, seems to know anything about withdrawal. Even the local crisis helpline. Everyone is very kind and wants you to speak to counsellors. My GP is supporting me with librium which I don’t want to use but at times have no choice (I am carer to three family members and need to be well enough myself to support them). If I know what is happening to my brain and why, and how many months or years it might take, then I will cope somehow. Not knowing what is going on is crippling. The GP will just put me back on meds which I am not doing anymore. The NHS psychiatrist will only see people now who are psychotic. Please could someone advise me?
  16. Hi everyone My apologies for such a long post. I didn't want to leave anything out. I had been on the dose of Saphris 10mg at night for around 6 months and then last month, my psychiatrist gave me a plan to reduce and then cease the Saphris. She suggested Saphris first because she believes it’s probably more responsible for the fatigue and drugged feeling. I am concerned it won’t be a successful taper if I do it her way because it’s reducing by too much and too quickly from everything I've read online and in Dr Peter Breggin’s book Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal. My psychiatrist’s suggestion was to reduce to 5mg for 3-4 weeks and then decide if Saphris is helpful or not and then if I think it is, stay on 5-10mg and if I think it’s not helpful, then to cease it and monitor how I go and if I have problems go back to 5mg. My issue with this is that the idea of it having a “helpful” effect is not terribly accurate, as negative effects I might have from stopping would most likely be due to withdrawals because they never actually helped me when I started them in the first place. I've actually been on my tapering journey for about 13 months, but have reduced by more than the recommended 10%. I am currently taking Anafranil (Clomipramine) 50mg and Saphris (Asenapine) 7.5mg. I reduced Saphris to 5mg from 10mg as my doctor suggested on 28th Dec 2019, but experienced flat mood, anxiety, irritability and generally not feeling secure. I read some posts on here and discovered some have split Saphris wafers (I previously wasn’t sure if this was OK to do and couldn’t find a straight answer online). I did split them the past 5 nights though, and took a dose of 7.5mg, and felt better within a couple of days. Unfortunately, Saphris is only available in 5 and 10mg wafers in Australia, so it will be harder to get smaller doses as I get lower. The original dose of Saphris I was taking before starting the taper was 5mg in the morning and 15mg at night, I reduced this to 5mg in the morning and 10mg at night in around February 2019 and then to 10mg at night in around June 2019. I was pretty settled on just 10mg at night leading up to my most recent reduction (to 5mg, then back up to 7.5mg) – I had some slight headaches, jaw clenching and anxiety when I dropped the 5mg in the morning, but that only lasted about a week to 10 days. I had been on higher doses of Clomipramine (as high as 200mg) but my blood serum levels were always too high (I think due to being on Thyroxine which I later discovered through my own research can cause this), so it was rapidly reduced by 25mg decrements to 100mg and then my first accidental reduction to 75mg when I was discharged from hospital in Nov 2018 and thought that was my prescribed dose. I had no ill effects reducing the Clomipramine to 50mg a month ago, or any of the other times before. I think, in general, the clomipramine has a milder effect on my brain than the Saphris and will be easier to reduce for that reason. I actually haven’t had my levels checked since I was on 125mg, but they were high at that time. So far, with the clomipramine, I have been tapering by the whole 25mg tablets (which are tiny and will not fit in a pill cutter). I haven’t had issues reducing them, I didn’t experience any adverse withdrawal effect with any of the reductions thus far – however, I am aware that will be more likely once I get lower and lower and so, I want to reduce it by smaller amounts. I believe I read that Anafranil in the US is a capsule? I am wondering why it is different here. I’m not confident splitting it myself, so I am going to contact my local compounding pharmacist and see if they can make something up when I am ready to taper it, if I can get a prescription from my psychiatrist. I have also reduced and ceased prazosin (Minipress) from 6mg over the past year which I was on for nightmares. The nightmares have not returned, and I currently sleep well. I am really motivated to get off these drugs, I wish I had never been put on them; however, I also really want to do it safely and with the least negative impact on my wellbeing and health from withdrawals. I have so much fatigue, and I am currently 50-55kg overweight (and that’s after slowly releasing around 40kg over 2 years) which are both major motivators in tapering. I have some blood sugar issues and glucose intolerance. I have been on various psychiatric medications for 19 years, since I was 16. I hate to think of the damage these drugs have caused to my whole body, especially my brain. My biggest improvements have come from changing my lifestyle and working really hard in therapy and on self-inner work. The drugs I am on are not even approved for treatment of my diagnoses, as far as I am aware, and they’ve never helped with my symptoms except to sedate. I have also had ECT many times prior to 2016, which affected me so badly that I couldn’t form a sentence to hold a conversation. I have little doubt that it was some kind of brain damage. My poor brain has copped a terrible assault over the years and I hope to repair some of the damage. Thanks for reading. I will read more posts here and continue to try to gain as much knowledge as I can around how to successfully taper these drugs. dewdrops
  17. I started on a medicine called anafranil about 6 months ago in July. By far the worst decision in my life, I'm suffering from the worst widthdrawl symtoms. Including emotional blutness, pssd, lost of memory. My whole identity and personality is gone, I'm in emoitonal pain and depressed every day. I notice on the med that I completely lost my sex drive and erections we're completely gone. I'm very scared that I will never have my sexuality back again. I'm young and can't live like this for long. These meds prescribed to me were supposed to help me. I suffer from anxiety and depression with OCD . From what ive researched and read there's no cure for pssd! I've read multiple accounts and posts with no hope. I dont know what I'm going to do moving forward. If anyone could help please!
  18. Hi I am new to the forum. I currently take 100mg a day of Clomipramine. I have been on it for 18 months. I want to start trying for my first baby so want to come off the medication completely over next few months. Are there any other women who have been in the same situation? Very scared to come off it as it has changed my life for the better and I don’t want to relapse. Any advise regarding tapering off and how to do it with capsules, or words of encouragement very welcome.
  19. I have a long history of anxiety, was on chlorpromazine and diazepam as a teenager; I'm now 67. Developed OCD in 1970s. Drug-free till 1990s. Developed CFS in 1986, OCD worsened and developed depression over the next 5 years. Prozac from 1991 till 1994, helped to some extent, then OCD worsened again. Switched to dosulepin in 1994, then to clomipramine on the advice of a clinical psychologist in July 1994. Helped a little with the OCD, but to everyone's surprise helped a lot with the CFS. Have been on clomipramine since then, doses from 25 to 125 mg - mostly between 50 and 100mg. The OCD resolved in 1997 after various non-drug therapies, but have continued with the clomipramine because it helped the CFS - usually a dose increase would help after a setback. Since about 2005 the doses my GP allowed did not help the CFS.....tried citalopram in 2007, no better and had a nasty reaction 4 weeks after stopping the clomipramine/starting citalopram - extreme anxiety and uncontrollable shaking. At the time, scared it might be serotonin syndrome - the citalopram had just started to "kick in" - but maybe it was clomipramine withdrawal. Tried dosulepin again in mid 2007 - that made me anxious and did not help the CFS, so switched back to clomipramine. I would like to reduce it.....currently having supply problems in the UK as some manufacturers have stopped producing it, and the constipation is really getting me down. I'm currently on 50mg/day, but my GP and I are talking about reducing it....not sure it's helping any more (the CFS is greatly improved these days, irrespective of clomipramine dose), and would like to find out if I can cope without it.
  20. Hey guys, how are you? I've been treating for OCD for years, going in and out ADs because of the unbearable side effects I get from them. In my last three years I used paxil (for 2 years) and clomipramine (for 1 year, this last). I tried to switch to zoloft, but after noticing tinnitus I decide to avoid any AD and try to deal with my OCD and anxiety in more natural ways (yoga, meditation, therapy, exercising). Problem is: 2 months have been passed after I quit ADs and I feel like **** these days. I never felt this depressed before, I was not a depressed guy and I entered ADs because of my OCD. I was using 150mg of clomipramine and now I wonder about how many time the brain needs to readapt to return to the state it had without any treatment. But I am full of doubts regarding it: 1-) is it really going to readapt/recover? 2-) how long is a good guess to wait before giving up on my new no-med routine? 3-) I'm feeling apathetic and I don't feel pleasure these days in nothing... I don't have the will to do things, even sex or playing games, or singing as I always loved. Are this 'normal' symptoms or I'm even more ****ed than the expected for the standard withdrawal? Any light on this would be very, VERY appreciated!
  21. I live in New Zealand. I have been on clomipramine since early last year. I was put on it to help me with OCD but it hasn't helped. I have started to slowly taper myself off. I am on 50mg at the moment, will be on 25mg on Friday. I was on fluoxetine for a few years as a teenager and again a few years ago for about a year. I was prescribed it as a teenager for depression and a few years ago for OCD, which I have had since I was 19. If anyone else is on clomipramine I would love to talk to you about your experience and where you're at with this. I find it hard to deal with by myself, my family don't care and I don't know anyone who's on clomipramine. I feel so alone.
  22. I'm a 28 year old man from Greece. I am suffering from ssri side effects 8 years now. I think that Imight suffering from withdrawal symptom (or Pssd). I don't know also if there is a difference. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2009 and I was on Prozac from 2009 to 2014 daily on 60mg. On this time interval I have noticed that I had weak erections without paying real attention. But when I I had awful experiences with women where I didn't have enough erections then I realized that the prozac may be the cause. I haven't taken it since 2014. Occassionally I was on zoloft to 20mg (the indicated dose for ocd) but I stopped them gradually. Since April 2017 I am not taking any medication but I have to confess that I have to tackle severe side effects such as erectile dysfunction, muted or inability to orgasm I noticed also impaired seven quality and sometimes the quantity was insufficient (almost zero). I am in a bad situation and I feel regretful for taking these drugs. I preferred to have OCD (or whatever mental illness is this) rather than facing impotence and inability to have children. Has anyone an idea about what am I supposed to do?
  23. I used to take two kind of antidepressants for 2 weeks. Prozac (Fluoxetine 10) and Clomopramine 10. I stopped taking them as soon as I found out they have negative sexual side-effects. It's been 60 days I haven't taken them but my libido is not like it was in the first place before taking them. I am too worried about it. I have been suicidal over it. I have read that it can be a permanent effect which drives me crazy when I think about it. I talked to my doctor but he rudely refused to give me a straight answer since I stopped taking the pills he prescribed me. I talked to other doctors too. They said my libido should have returned in 3 weeks but I can't see any improvements since then. So, my question is, if you have any experience of taking such pills, tell me how long you took them and if your libido returned after stopping taking them or not, if so, how long did you wait till your libido improved completely. Am I suffering from PSSD (Post-SRRI Sexeual Dysfunction)? if so, won't I ever get my libido back? Is there any treatment for this?
  24. Hi all, As my signature shows, I have been on medication for the past 10 years and I must say I have only made my life from bad to worse. It all started when I started getting headache due to tension at work after I found a job with great difficulty. I consulted a GP for general headache which he suspected as tension headache and referred me to a psychiatrist. He diagnosed my OCD symptoms and related my headache to OCD and started off with high doses of antidepressants right away. It was a living hell in the initial days until I got used to the medicine. My OCD symptoms were not intruding my normal life as much as the side effects the antidepressants are causing. However my psychiatrist never agreed to go off of the antidepressants and I could never argue with him. Everybody on the internet suggested me to trust my psychiatrist and so I have continued with my medicines till date. I tried going off of the medicines abruptly once and I suffered with withdrawal symptoms for a long time and I am not sure if I still have withdrawal symptoms or is it my depression. To start off with, I only had slight OCD which I think I could have managed without medicines and the side-effects caused by the anti-depressants are multifold. I have a range of side-effects which affects my daily life. Following are some of the side-effects that i have been noticing from a long time but not sure whether its my depression or my medicines or withdrawal symptoms and I am in a catch22 situation and I feel petrified to go off of the medicines this time. I suffer from IBS (woken up every morning with an urge to pass stool ), the longer I resist the terrible I feel. After I return from the toilet, I feel terribly tired and sleepy. For the rest of the day, I suffer with headache, body pain, lack of concentration (affects my work to a large extent), feel drowsy all day long, anxiety, irritability, find it hard to focus on work. This has been happening from 2014 and I have not complained this to my psychiatrist so as to avoid him from prescribing me from more drugs. So, I have chose to suffer with these symptoms than to get into more problems. I am 34 years old and havent got into a relationship due to uncertainty about a lot of things, my depression and anxiety. But this time I have decided to get rid of the medicines the safer way so as to lead a normal life. Luckily, I have found this forum to get assistance and go off the medicines systematically this time. I have planned to do it the 10% reduction method. Yet my major concern is, whether I'll get back my OCD which I have got rid of now, after I stop the medicines? Will I have more problems etc. Any suggestions and help is welcome.
  25. Hello to all of you First of all I want to thank all of you for the information posted on this page. I am a guy living in Copenhagen, and I'm currently taking clomipramine. In a couple of months I will turn 30, and by that time I will have spend the last 12,5 years of my life on antidepressants. I am diagnosed with OCD, which most of all manifests in GAD like symptoms today. The first 10 years I was on 20 mg of citalopram, and it was only increased a couple of times during this period. Last year I was seeing a psychiatrist, and we tested a lot of different medicine (paroxetine, pregabalin, mirtzapine, sertraline, escitalopram), but none of it helped with my symptoms. I wanted to try clomipramine as a last resort, which my doctor prescribed me. It felt good for a couple of weeks as all the other drugs have, but I simply can't stand the feeling of being doped any more. I feel like I have to get back to me in some way, but talking about me is also kind of crazy after being on antidepressants for 12,5 years. I was taking 25 mg of clomipramine which I cut in half about a month ago. It's been kind of a tough month. The anxiety and anger overtakes me, and today I have made a water solution and taken 20 mg instead of 12,5 mg. Hope the symptoms will improve! I do have some worries now. The whole water solution makes me really nervous. Like do I get enough, will the solution get stronger as I get near the bottom of the glas etc. Like doing the whole water solution is agony, when you suffer severe anxiety. Do you guys have some calming words or any suggestions to combating the anxiety? I have made my mind up about wanting to stop the medicin, and I'm planing to do the 10% method etc. That make me drug free in 2020 or something, but just decreasing the drug slowly will be a reward in it self. I'm so tired of feeling numb, apathy and not being able to love like I once did! Greetings Henrik
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