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I was offered various prescriptions for antidepressants in my early 20's, but the side effects were terrible and nothing helped with the generalized anxiety and social anxiety I experienced. I took ativan on and off for 10 years, though there's been large stretches where I didn't take it all. I knew it wasn't good to taken ativan, but since I wasn't taking it every day, I presumed I was avoiding physical dependence. After taking time off work for children, I had recently returned and felt it worth trying medication one more time, to avoid taking ativan. I began Buspar March 2 - started at 2.5mg and titrated up to 45mg over 4 months, but at this dose I began having numbness in my legs, uncomfortable head rushes, and pins and needles everywhere. At the advice of my doctor, I tapered down over 2 months (until end of July) - although my doctor said I could taper even faster. Started on Wellbutrin Aug 2 and took it for 5 days and quit cold turkey, as per my doctor, due to side effects like Raynaud's and numbness to hands on waking, extreme head rushes and pins/needles. Lastly, started mirtazapine 7.5mg on August 18. Took for 7 days, but it caused panic attacks and I started having chest pains. I ended up titrating down for 7 days, although again, my doctor said I could just quit. So here I am about 1 month with no drugs. I had panic attacks almost every day for two weeks. I have pins/needles in my head in the evenings and I still wake with a part of my hand or fingers having gone numb. The panic attacks are difficult to control and I have chest tightness most days. On the days when I cannot get them under control with breathing and/or meditation, I take lorazepam. In the last two weeks, I am also having weird fluttering/vibrations across my chest when I sleep at night, causing me to have short bouts of anxiety and shortness of breath. The side effects have been so bad, I have not been able to work for the past month. So, as of this morning, I have just restarted buspar at 1.25mg to see if this helps to curb the side effects. I am hoping the reinstatement will not make things worse. But one of my questions is - Buspar has a relatively short half life - so should I be taking 1.25mg again this evening, or just waiting to take it in the morning again.

Hello to all My joiurney with depression, anxiety and lexapro started in 2017 before which I had absolutely no clue about the nightmare I’d be stepping into. At my worst point I was on 20 mg of lexapro in the year 2020. Since then I’ve reduced to lexapro 5 mg after slowly cutting doses. I’m afraid to go down from here but desperately want to get off this medicine. I have several side effects from lexapro like sore breasts and night sweats for which I’ve been taking evening primrose oil which has led to even more problems with my menstrual cycle. 5 mg lexparo hasn’t been working very well for me the past year so I’ve been using cbd gummies, which also has been giving me side effects and I’ve had to stop it. I’m not sure if it was the cbd giving me side effects or the lexpro side effects worsening because of cbd. I was taking charlottes web full spectrum gummies 10 mg a day. I did some online research and found that taking cbd increases the concentration of lexapro in the body and can cause side effects to worsen. My doctor had no clue about anything and told me it was safe to take cbd with lexapro which is what led to this disaster. now I don’t know whether i should increase lexapro and go up to 10 mg and start going down from there to eventually stop or start decreasing right now from my current dose of 5 mg lexapro im not taking any other medications as of now, but can’t deal with lexapro anymore..please help me..I’m basically tired of having to deal with the constant side effects and taking one thing after another for my body to feel balanced and good.. is there a way out of this?

About three years ago, I went to a new psychiatrist, highly recommended by my therapist, to ask him about getting off the venlafaxine and clonazepam I was put on 20 and 15 years ago. When I left I had two new prescriptions: bupropion and lamictal. He thought I was severely depressed. The lamictal was supposed to counteract the effects on adrenaline production of long-term use of venlafaxine. It worked overnight. I enjoyed a few years of relatively good mood. I was also 3 years sober then, and now 6.5 years. Quitting all psychotropics has been on my mind for years. An early experience with Paxil in the 1990s--I took it for maybe a month, tops, but it made me groggy. I became sicker than I'd ever been--flat on my back with vertigo, horrible nightmares, and continuous nausea, as well as the brain stuff. Lucky for me, all this cleared up after about a week. Of course any doctor I spoke to about this had no idea. I am here to learn about weaning, and to find support for making a decision and beginning the baby steps.

ADMIN NOTE jamesbond747 Introductions topic. Please let me know what changes I can make to this post so it doesnot get removed as I am back here after 5 long years and wish to help others on this path. My story- I remember I used to have anxiety and some low confidence issues since I was 10 years old in year 2005. These issues spiralled down into very low mood, depression and schizophrenia when I turned 19 years old. I am now 28 years old. Tldr of my previous post on this website 5 years back- I had severe depression issues since 2014 which psychiatrists tried to treat by putting me on all sorts of antidepressants ( risperidone, clonazepam, aripripazolam, etc). I ran away from home, came back weeks later. I used to cold turkey many times many drugs (dont do it without supervision/advise) because of how they made me feel, only to be put back on another type of antidepressant amd the cycle continued. I was miserable, had given up on life due to no way out of depression. I became suicidal. I looked up on Internet for hope. Google led me to this website after heavy searching and using vpn too as this website doesnt show up in simple search. I simply cant imagine the troubles common people have to take to reach this website due to flawed google SEO. I found some relief here as I chatted with like minded people and moderators. I tried many subreddits too but almost all dont allow newbie to post content or comment without karma and I didnt get karma after trying useless advises given on many websites. (sigh! life is so hard when one is desperate and websites like reddit make it harder). I was low on karma for 1 year which didnt allow me to discuss my problems with others. Back to 2020, I was put in psych ward as things went more out of control. Greatfully, I was put on abilify and parkin. Other antidepressants were cold turkeyed by my psychiatrist in the ward. Now cold turkey was a very bad thing, it gave me ptsd for 3 months (alll those windows and waves 😵‍💫) which looked like eternity. I was out of psych ward after 10 months. I had to follow up for 2 more months. They did not release me because I had recovered. It was because I had turned somewhat stable. I turned stable because I saw people like me there, I learned what was making them worse and what was improving them which caused their early release. Basically all I learnt there was self control and behaviour control. Deep inside I was still feeling miserable and depressed but learnt to hide them in psych ward. Now in may 2022 I took a linking to abilify as it didnot have any side effects other than weight gain, sleepiness amd high blood pressure. Same was confirmed by reviews on drugs.com and other user feedback websites. I took it whenever I felt stressed to induce heavy sleep and avoid any work. After 1 month of abilify usage and parkin discontinuing, I noticed my depression was very low which allowed me to look things from different perspective. For first time in my life I actually started enjoying doing things. I started little exercising and doing physical household work without any irritation. I got a wfh customer service job. After 8 months of usage, the weight gain was becoming strong and my physcial health was suffering even though my mental health was okay. I could not do any exercise due to 10 kg weight gain and very high blood pressure in 5 months. I had to stop abilify in january 2023. By now I had good understanding of what depression is, its like I developed a bonding to depression, I could smell when I had slightest amount of depression. I wanted to get rid of it and antidepressant cycles too. I quit amazon job in february as weight gain and intolerance to simple exercises was a severe disability. In my job exeperience I interacted with american people, I learnt their culture, their problems. I saw the supplement industry which was booming there, the people who were madly health conscioua. People were buying absurdly high priced health supplements and drugs to boost their mental and physical health. They would justify to me how good it made them feel, the teenagers, the adults, the old alike. In february 2023 I started supplementing. By november 2023, I have a deep feeling I have got rid of depression from roots ( I can still smell slightest depression in me or other people) and now I am on a road to physical health boosting in a natural way. I ran 4 kilometre in one go a week back and wish to reach 14 kilometre target as I am still 28 years old. Today my family dont have slightest smell of depression from me and I am trying to healthify them too. I dont know why no one helped me by informing the amount of natural vitamins and minerals, their types and their dosage on this website. Its just not mentioned in any post too. It seems this website helps in suviving ADs and not staying afloat after surviving. Here are some vitamins and minerals which you can take to stay afloat after surviving antideppressants. You can choose what you like, company/brand as for some hairfall maybe cause of depression, for some body dysmorphia, for some eating disorder, for some anxiety, etc. Please get your blood tests done and discuss with your physician/healthcare provider before taking them-( Please take these after you have left all antidepressants as ADs will surely react with these supplements, another advise which I didn't get🫠) 1- For general stamina- I tried simple multivitamin containing simple low amounts of nutrients once a day or every 3rd day. ( Avoid shilajit, ashwagandha, etc unless none others are available as they disbalance magnesium, iron and hormones in body, My recommendation- centrum men has vitamins and minerals in low amounts so it can be digested by weak gi people but it has high amounts of vitamin a and d so better not take any other vitamin a and vitamin d source that day or if you are allergic to any ingredients.) 2- For skin- decent fish oil capsule once a day or once a week. 3- For hair- biotin 5 or 10 mg per day or per week. 4- For eyes- I tried AREDS 2 website on google. All Areds 2 supplements did was improve my vision by 0.5 points only, I was hoping for more. I stopped them as I saw a small note that areds2 causes lung cancer in 0.5% users. 5- For blood pressure- I took magnesium taurate, one or two tablet per day, I also took one or two vitamin k2mk7 per day. 6- For protein- I took Optimum nutrition 10gram or 22 gram per day. 7- For creatine- I tried 3 gram per day of ON but stopped as I am not ready for it yet. 8- For immediate depression uplifting- I took 1 or 2 magnesium threonate per day. Its temporary fix for depression lasting 24 hours. 9- For physical strength- I have joined iron protocol and copper protocol facebook groups- I take 30mg liposomal iron(irregulaarly), 1000mcg vitamin b12( regularly), 1mg copper(irregularly) and 15mg zinc(irregularly). I take them because my blood tests showed me deficient in them all. So consult with a physician first as you may not be deficient in all. 10- For sexual health- I take 100mg thiamine or 3mg/6mg tablets of boron once a week. I read good reviews for them and I can confirm they work. 11- Vitamin d- Avoid it unless you have a severe deficiency as you will already get it from a multivitamin tablet. Some subreddits for your recovery journey which I dont know why this website doesnot inform about. People should have knowledge of path which they have to walk otherwise it would be like throwing darts in dark. (Some will become lucky but many not)- 1- r/antipsychiatry (common people there are like common people on this website) 2- r/supplements ( dont pay attention to every advise many are rookies) 3- r/mentalhealth 4- r/mentalillness 5- r/magnesium 6- r/nutrition 7- r/psychiatry 8- r/schizophrenia 9- r/depression My advise on how to be able to post and discuss on subreddits for non tech newcomer people with low karma. Just follow all major subreddits of your country. First start giving positive flattering comments to responsive commentors amd original posters. You earned comment karma this way. Now post advise or help issue topics in subreddits which receive active replies. You earned post karma this way. I dont know why these websites tell to post good quality original content like some professional celebrity on subreddits for karma when a newcomer is unable to do this. I ommitted bluelight.org as in my opinion that website is just a group of drug addicts trying all sorts of drugs for whatever foolish reasons. Thankyou for going through my post, any feedback and advise is highly welcome from everyone here. 🙂

It was over two years ago that I finally weaned off of sertraline and trazodone, which I was prescribed to get through a "short" rough patch in 2019. I tried to get off a few times prior, which I now understand probably "kindled" my system. I thought I was being cautious. When I did finally get off of these things, I experienced sensations and emotions that I never could have imagined: my first panic attack (and I've been stuck in a low-grade state of panic ever since) suicidal thoughts each morning, when I jolt awake and have trouble breathing (still the case) DP/DR set in, and I have constant tension on the right side of my body, probably a sympathetic nervous system malfunction (though the DP/DR has resolved, thank god) irritable and oversensitive to just about everything -- movies, music, other people, the news (this is unbearable and makes it hard to function) tinnitus very loud; lights are so bright I feel like they're passing through me (this alone is enough to set someone over the edge -- and has not resolved at all) I'm so tired in my soul, it's impossible to convey. I have held on this long and tried many things. Somatic therapy, other drug therapies, rTMS. I'm staying with friends in Switzerland to try a new social context that gets me out of bed every day. They've been encouraging but I'm suffering tremendously. I'm just not going to last in this condition. It's such an unbelievable waste. Any advice you can give this late in the process would be so very welcome.

Hi everyone, Well, i tried, and it worked. A little bit over 3 months CT on Lexapro, 4 months Clonazepan . Just for info -i was on 10mg Escitalopram and 4mg Clonazepan, for years. It has not been easy, i have to say. I did experience withdrawal symptoms. -Extreme anxiety -Insomnia -Slight akathesia I do not recommend this unless you have a plan and are completely aware of the symptoms youll have to tolerate. What worked for me? -Reiki: restablished the balance of my chi (fundamental life force) - i actually thought it was BS, but it couldnt hurt, so i took 3 sessions. You have to go regularly, unless youre some kinda Zen master and can do that yourself. -Meditation (this takes time and effort, you will feel anxious and unable to reach alpha, but with practice, you will) - the whole point, try to understand and actually believe that good things come from within, you cant let outside events or people affect you. -Tai Chi Chuan (its believed to be meditation in motion) - besides the spiritual part, Tai Chi is a great entry exercise for us, most of us are not in shape due to our condition, we dont feel like jogging or doing squats, so we get lazy. Tai Chi is gentle, im pretty sure it would be good for anyone. Besides you go out and probably meet new people if you feel like it. -Found myself something to do... to keep busy. Thats just me, i dont have a regular job, i kinda just work when i need to or i want to. But besides money, i needed to work to keep my head busy. -In that something to do, i spent some time researching to set up a dietary plan that would suit my needs. I gained 15 pounds since all this started, and got back to my normal weight after a month or so. I do recommend this because it gives you extra confidence to look fit, o maybe lose a few pounds when you go back to normal life. -Insomnia was awful, maybe the worst part of this... Id be up for 48 hours sometimes, then fell asleep due to exhaustion... i almost got back to clonazepan, but the combination of not having money to pay for it and the doctor being on vacation, helped me a lot. Word of advice, if you have insomnia, try to maintain your schedules, do not just sleep anytime you can... you feel like sleeping at 3 pm? well try not to... youd wake up in the middle of the night with nothing productive to do... thats a good time for your head to start messing around with you again and conspiring against the plan. -Anxiety... this one was a tough one too, add it to insomnia and its a molotov cocktail. During this past 3 months, i think ive seen over 100 movies, the whole "breaking bad", "heroes" and "dexter" shows... it kinda kept my head busy during those long nights awake. -Sex Drive: i was not being able to reach orgasms while on the drug, that got me pretty upset. Well, it got back to normal about a month or so... i did start to feel horny about 3 weeks after this CT thing started, way too horny maybe, but its now ok, it just goes away with intercourse. Well, i´ll keep posting just in case i have any other delayed symptoms, i hope not. As i said, if youre to go CT on lexapro, be 100% committed to this and be aware of symptoms, i have done this before, and they do happen. What im trying to say here, is be prepared... do not wait to go get movies, or hire netflix, or buy camomile tea or whatever works for you... if you like company, try not to be alone too much... well, this is very personal, noone knows you better than you yourself, be prepared for whats to come. It is possible, there is a way out.

Hello everyone glad I found somewhere to find good information and support . I'll just give a little introduction. I've been off Ciprelex 30mg for 6 months now after being on the ssri for 7 years.The side effects were far out weighing the benefits. My doctors seemed clueless when it came to the tapering, from what I know now as well as the withdrawal I am currently feeling . I tapered fairly fast from what I read on this forum.My main symptom at first was abdominal pain,panic, discomfort and very poor digestion. I lost 30 lbs in the first month and I know for some people that's good but for my build, not so good. Most of my symptoms at first were digestive related and my doctors didn't suggest withdrawal. Has anyone in here experienced horrible digestive issues right away ? So I had a million tests run, which came with months of worrying about every disease in the book. My tests came back clean which was good. However I am still feeling alot of discomfort, sensitivity in the stomach(feels like I'm bruised) coupled with fatigue, vivid dreams and insomnia. I have been experiencing all this while working a Fulltime job, which I love. I have missed more days than I wanted to for the obvious reasons. However I've decided to ask for time off because my body hasn't recovered and I feel the only way for a better recovery is to get away from my schedule and take extra time for myself. I see two different doctors. The one I saw today wants me to start a pain med and believes my stomach pain is related to migraines I used to get, which at times still show up. I am so scared of all medication but want this stomach pain to go away. I have improved over the 6 months so I'm leaning towards staying the natural course. Does 5HTP help for withdrawal?? After all the suffering I have gone through in the last 6 months you would think my doctor would give a note to go on sick leave,but apparently that's like pulling teeth. They just see a healthy young man complaining . Either way I need time for myself and recovery and sorry if I'm ranting. I'm glad to be hear in this forum and look forward to have a place for support and information because I feel my doctors are out too lunch on this topic. Mort

Hi, I realize this is not protocol. I joined the group, but I don’t have access to my medical records right now, and I honestly can’t remember my complete drug history. I can list some of the drugs I’ve been on, but timeframes, etc. I’m afraid I can’t currently provide. I am 34 (F) married with 2 children. What I can say is that for a period of about 6-8 months in 2022 and up to February 2023 I was only taking vyvanse and using a marijuana vape pen daily. I was feeling better than I can remember in history and although I should have probably recognized this as unsustainable, I was making progress in therapy and happier and more functional than I could ever remember being—even if in hindsight I now see that I was foolish. I was several months into coming off of hormonal birth control and was not having a period on it. In February, I had bad pms and my vape was not making me feel better so I discontinued use abruptly. Within a matter of a few days I was in the throes of depression, anxiety, and what I suspect is also burnout (I am diagnosed ADHD, but highly suspect being on the autism spectrum, which my new psychiatrist informally assessed and agrees). Unfortunately, when this commenced, I didn’t have a psychiatrist, and my doctor put me on escitalopram (I’m sorry I can’t even remember that dose). I tried to fight through but symptoms were getting worse and though I wasn’t actively suicidal, my family was concerned that my ideation was becoming active and encouraged me to go to the hospital. I went and they put me on duloxetine. I went home, but continued to struggle immensely and ended back at the hospital where they added quetiapine, clonazepam 0.5 x2 daily, intuniv 1mg. They tried to get me to take rexulti but I was already in such an overwhelmed state that and reacted with such terrible akathisia that I refused to continue with it. Then they put me on Effexor— this was mid-April. I was discharged to a hospital adjacent treatment center for two weeks where the psychiatrist there wanted to up my dosage from 150mg to eventually be on 300. Even at this state I felt the medication was wrong for me. I allowed one increase and was on 187.5 when I went home. I recognized the quetiapine was causing no benefit and had urinary retention issues so I discontinued it, probably not slowly enough. My new psychiatrist agreed that Effexor was not reacting well with me and that I was on too large a cocktail of drugs and wanted to reduce the Effexor. He originally wanted me to go down a dose weekly, but I felt unstable so I switched to every other week. I felt some significant withdrawals at 75mg but without knowing better I dropped down to 37.5 where I have remained for 53 days now. In terms of physical side effects, my appetite is all but gone, I have headaches which are not so debilitating, I have GI issues—more so at the beginning of my taper, but I also very recently tested positive for celiac and ceased eating gluten. However, it is the psychological and nervous system symptoms that are most distressing. I feel I am always in fight or flight—activated and overwhelmed almost all the time and any slightly stressful stimulus sends me into a panic attack or meltdown. I am waking with huge cortisol spikes and anxiety and then inevitably experience a panic/meltdown episode in the evening regardless of my daily situation, occurring somewhere between the hours of 4 and 7. I have trouble getting to sleep, and trouble getting up in the morning. I have a deep sense of hopelessness and suicidal ideation. I will list what medications I’m currently on and their doses. I realize this is not protocol and if you can’t advise me through messaging , I understand and will try to get a medication history if I can. clonazepam 0.5x 2 daily (10am and 6pm) effexor Xr 37.5 mg 10 am vyvanse 40mg 10am intuniv 1mg before bedtime other supplements: omegas, vitamin d, magnesium, multivitamin, complex B, zinc, selenium, and some anti-inflammatory ones inc: turmeric, quercetin, L- Lysein. - I sometimes take l-theananine and GABA but haven’t found them terribly effective in providing any relief for anxiety. - I have on occasion taken Ativan 1mg but try to avoid it unless there is dire need - I also sometimes have to take zoplicone for sleep but again am afraid of adding any more drugs of dependence. One final note is that my symptoms all seem to increase considerably before and into the start of my period. Blood test revealed what a naturopath considered potentially low progesterone, so this past cycle I had supplementation from day 14 at 25mg and then the week before my period I upped it to 50mg but saw no improvement. I realize this is a lot of information and not the route I’m supposed to take but I am deeply afraid right now. I have a psychiatrist appointment on the the 13th, and I don’t know what to advocate for or to do. All I know is I am suffering immensely. My parents are in medicine and want to me to do ECT as I have in the past in 2012; they thought it helped but I can’t remember that whole period and I already have always had a poor autobiographical memory and I am very hesitant to cause my brain and nervous system any more damage. Again, I apologize for this inappropriate communication, but I am desperate and in a state of crisis and have little trust in the medical community after years of falling through the cracks.

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Pattypan: Benzo Taper when it's only PRN Hello, I am new here. I have a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive DIsorder- I have had this for as long as I can remember. I was first medicated for it ( in my teens) 20+ years ago. I was on and off meds throughout my teens/20's. In 2015- I had an OCD "episode" that scared me to death and back on medications I went. After a few trial and errors I was stable on Lexapro for 4.5 years. I recently took myself down from 30mg to 20mg ( over the course of 1 week- yes- i had headaches, involuntary movements and brain zaps). As of yesterday I tapered to 15mg. I am feeling pretty bad today... and I understand I should be decreasing by 10% but for some reason that seems unreasonable to me.... ( in the past I have successfully tapered off of prozac, wellbutrin, celexa, zoloft and don't recall any of those being notable- I DO remember tapering off of Luvox was terrible) Any supplements or advice you may have to ease these taper symptoms? My goal is to be completely off of Lexapro in 1 month. Too soon? also- No i am not involving my doctors in this decision or this taper... I just don't trust that they know enough in regards to how to taper and they wont respect my decision to taper. Thanks in advance!

Hi folks, I have protracted withdrawal from three medications and now I am on disability. I am male 30s and no other health conditions (except for sleep apnea) Desvenlafaxine - took it for 8 months in 2020 and doctor tapered me in 2 weeks. I started developing severe insomnia and jerks. Doctor put me back on it and the problem became worse. I am not taking this medication anymore (last took in 2021). I still have the insomnia and jerks since past 3 years. Clonazepam - another doctor gave this to me for the symptoms of desvenlafaxine in late 2021 however I only got temporary relief. I was able to find a doctor to taper me off in February 2022 so I believe I am good here but I might have some cognition problems because of it. No longer taking it. Cipralex - I took this because I was going through benzo withdrawals from Clonazepam. Once I was put on a benzo taper with Clonazepam I was stable so I cut the dose from 10mg to 5mg in February 2022. Ever since then I am been experiencing some symptoms which have not gone away. I then went back up to 10mg and did a slow taper. Symptoms include: - cognition focus energy motivation - worsened anxiety and depression symptoms including chest pain, heart palpitations - breathing issues. Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep I get this sudden out of breath feeling I am currently on 0.8mg cipralex and plan to taper to 0.6/0.4/0.2 then 0.1 before getting off. I have seen various psychiatrists and they don't have any recommendations other than wait till I'm completely off, try ECT, ketamine or other medications etc... My sleep physician recommended gabapentin but I will not be taking that due to already having protracted withdrawal. I am waiting to see a movement disorder neurologist however that wait is around 12 months. I already saw a general neurologist and they did an EEG but nothing was found. Any tips on how I can deal with these withdrawal symptoms?

Hi everybody! I am Julz, a 33 year-old female - polydrugged to my eye-balls Ten years ago, I fell into anorexia and depression, soon unveiling terrible anxiety. I was referred to a psychiatrist (in France) who prescribed me medication and also gave me psychotherapy. Regarding the medication, different combinations and doses where tried and I eventually found myself on a prescription which seemed to suit my troubled mind (Escitalopram, venlafaxine, clonazepam and diazepam) - did it ever do anything? I still haven't got a clue. I trusted this doctor. This is my initial prescription: Escitalopram: 20mg 20mg 20mg - (yes, that is 60mg...!!!) Venlafaxine(MR): - - 75mg - Clonazepam: - 2mg - 2mg Diazepam: - - - 10mg Time passed and psychologically, a lot changed. I moved away from where I used to live, totally changed my environment, and went for a fresh start. But I was still taking my medication as prescribed. My General Practitioner (in charge of my prescription in my new environment) convinced me to lower the Escitalopram (on the grounds that it was "bad for my heart") and I managed, between 2011 and 2013, to come from 60mg/day to 15mg. How? By jumping 5mg at a time every now and again. I had no idea... again, I more or less trusted this doctor who was willing to prescribe me the drugs I was clearly physically dependent on. The withdrawals I experienced were uneventful. I did feel something was happening but within a few days, I always felt the same as before the drop. Between 2010 and 2014, a LOT had changed as I finally got an MSc BUT I had fallen into terrible exhaustion and had no life. How did I get my degree? A struggle every day. I then began to question this cocktail of drugs, I'd been on them for 10 years and was still taking them as prescribed because I was physically dependent. That was clear enough! It then hit me: my meds were probably incapacitating me rather than providing any help! The realisation came as in January 2013, after I managed to lower my Escitalopram intake from 20 to 15mg/day in a single 5mg step (...), I began to feel even more tired during the day, exhausted - I simply had to nap every single day. After some personal research, I went to my GP and told him I didn't believe in keeping our focus on the Escitalopram because it seemed that the more I decreased it, the more sleepy I'd get during the day, considering my benzo intake (at that point, I was taking 3 hours' naps), and I could not live like that! Fortunately, before I was able to drop a pill here and there as instructed by my GP, I found the BenzoBuddy website and managed to find a taper method to gradually come off clonazepam. From December 2014 to July 2015, I came from 4mg to 2mg and am now below 1.9mg and still tapering off successfully. I decided to join Surviving Antidepressants as I want off ALL any medication which alters who I am. I believe in other ways to manage my weaknesses - I am not ill, I have a tendency to be anxious and this is not new, I was an anxious child but I had emotions too. I'd like my emotions and my whole life back... I realise I know NOTHING about anti-depressants, I surely did not know about Escitalopram's potency and am still in shock from the news. My initial plans (supported by a psychiatrist I saw in February 2015) were to come off clonazepam (bz), then diazepam (bz), then Escitalopram, then Venlafaxine. In the light of what I read on this wonderful site, I wonder whether I should stay of Valium (diazepam) while at least tapering off Escitalopram, when I am done with clonazepam... I realise I need knowledge myself because sadly, doctors haven't been helpful at all... so far... Thanks for welcoming me on your wonderful Forum! Julz xxx

Moderator's note: link to benzo thread - Rabe: questions re how ro navigate clonazepam, viibryd, and amiloride Hi, I am new on the site having been so impressed with the knowledge and personal experience that I have read as I continue my journey of tapering psychiatric medications. I have been on Clonazepam for many years for a severe panic disorder with agoraphobia and had no problems with it until I moved, had surgery, was exposed to environmental toxins and my doctor doubled the dose. I broke out in a weeping rash and was so very ill. I tried tapering on my own and became very very ill, lost weight, muscle and fat and was extremely depressed. My children brought me to a treatment center to get help with the tapering but instead I was put on an antidepressant. I am now finding myself tapering the Clonazepam and the Viibryd with a doctors help, but his knowledge seems quite limited. We did taper the Viibryd to 10mg in the spring and it was not too bad. I tried tapering by about 10% now and had horrible HA, nightmares, depression, stomach upset, agitation, anxiety, headache, electrical feelings in my head, weakness... I saw the doctor today and he would like to split the dose to 5 in AM and 5 in PM to help in tapering. My concern is that I take Premarin and the larger Clonazepam dose at night and I am concerned about having to eat that late d/t GERD, about less anxiety coverage during the day as well as the sleepiness from both the Viibryd and Clonazepam together at night. I was wanting to get any thoughts or experience on this if possible. Thank you so very much. This has been such an overwhelming and physically and mentally draining experience with little support for almost 2 years. I am grateful to be here!

Hello everyone, You can see the title to get an idea of where I've been. I've gone off cold turkey on escitalopram at least three times now. Currently almost a month out from going off of escitalopram again now. Most of the acute withdrawal has subsided but I've noticed when the brain zaps and light headedness occur it's usually late afternoon/evening. I did a little reading that suggested serotonin gets lower in the evening as it's being converted to melatonin for sleep. Has anyone else had this issue? Currently do not have a plan for tapering my clonazepam use. I'm on .5mg twice a day but I plan to wait until im fully recovered from the escitalopram withdrawal. Would be happy to hear from anyone who has dealt with both ssri withdrawal and benzo withdrawal and how you approached it. Thanks for your time.

Hi everyone. It has been more or less complicated on the last weeks and I decided to wonder for help on the web, and finally came here. I'm from Argentina, 29 years old (about to turn 30), have a history of mental disease so to speak, and a big genetic charge i suppose, as most of my family members (mother, father and grandmother) have their own mental issues. On my 20's i started having anxiety crisis situations and became obssesed on this happening again, so i was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety and obssesive-compulsive disorded. As a child i remember having random, weird and troubling thoughts... but it was a few years ago that i became obsessed with the things i saw that were necessary to live, so one day it ocurred to me "what would happen if you have a anxiety crisis whenever you eat or try to sleep". This changed my life forever, and from that day over i have thought about it everytime i eat or get to bed. This let to a few nights without sleeping at all, and to digestive problems, gases, diarrhea and the unstopable sensation that there's something wrong on my stomach. I thought i would never be able to eat or sleep again, and that i would die of starvation or physical weakness. None of this happened and with the help of medication (clomipramire first with a lot of ugly side effects and then paroxetine much more confortable) and phycological therapy i managed to go on with my life and followed a "normal" life patron. If i have to rate my treatment, i would say that by the time i was on clomipramine i had a 30% recover status and then with paroxetine around 50%. The thoughts were never gone, but they turned manageable and i was able to achieve some goals i set (traveling abroad, i went to the United States with my couple and we had a very good time there). Then, seeing that i was on a expectable state and having resigned the thought of being on a fully recovered status, i talked with my doctor and we decided to stop taking paroxetine (which i toke for 1 year) and see what happened. The first months were ok, as if i continue taking it, but then i started to feel as i felt on the beginning as those thoughts gather streght again. Now a day i'm trying to hang on, have talked to my doctor and he indicated to start taking paroxetine again... but he doesn't know until when, he said "if you feel better with it, take it for as long as you need it, we'll see then". So i'm at the dilema of start taking something that i know will surely make feel more relieved but not the way i would really like to be, all of this knowing that this treatment (since the clomipramire) have started around 4 years ago and i thought i would see more concrete results. But then i remember this is not a flue, and the mind is not a simple matter of treat. What would you recomend me to do? Have you ever heard of such obsessive thoughts? I have no compulsions at all... just the repetitive idea of dying for stressing when i do those things...

Was on sertraline for 2 years before starting my taper, currently using the 10% method. Original dose was 59mg, on 24mg now, but I've stopped having "windows" entirely and currently only have "waves" of varying intensity. The physical side effects seem to still be slowly improving, however. Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?

BavarianPH Started tapering over 6 months ago at 20 mg/ml of escitalopram oral solution. At first at 5% taper, actually 1 ml taper per week with very little withdrawals. At 3 ml it became more difficult, got to 2 ml back to 3 ml, got to 1.75 ml and experience the most intense withdrawals, extreme anxiety, fear, paranoia, close to a mental break. I went back up to 3 ml, then 5 ml, added Benadryl which counteracted withdrawal, but not for long. Was forced to go on .5 mg clonazepam 2x daily which worked but caused irritability, anger, mania, compulsion to talk a lot. So now I try .125 mg clonazepam. Tried to get a hold of my NP psychiatrist, not available until next Monday. I completely tapered off clonazepam 1 year ago and went from 200 mg lamotrigine to 100 mg. I am also on 137 mcg Synthroid, 500 mg Metformin, 300 mg gabapentin. Now I am afraid to taper escitalopram. I don't know at what dose to start, how to taper and for how long a period. This really shocked me. I have to take care of my wife who ended up in hospital 4 times, mostly because of accidental sudden stop of Celexa causing psychosis, then hospital not telling me all the meds they gave her on recovery, then she was put on wrong meds, and then got cold turkeyed on nortriptyline which caused a total breakdown and horrible rage, she was put on antipsychotics and depakote, did not tell me about the depakote and ended in hospital again. Finally, she was put back on escitalopram, rexulti and depakote, she had intense spasms, until I got her on seroquel and off of escitalopram. All this could have been avoided if the hospitals would have told me all the meds given. And if she had gone back on celexa. At that time over 2 years ago I had no knowledge of psychotropics. I studied up to 4 hours or more a day to figure out what happened, and found a totally mismanaged mental health system, unbelievable lack of accurate information and diagnosis. I need a lot of help not just for me but my wife who is so drugged up she can't even think. Please help!

Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25+ Years of Use One-year post taper “success story” – http://survivingantidepressants.org Elbee (male) - August 27, 2020 At the time of this success story post, I have passed the one-year mark (15+ months) living drug-free. I am speaking to you from “the other side” of hell to let you know I made it through the nightmare of psychiatric drug withdrawal -- and so can you. I want to start by saying that everyone’s withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is going to differ – no two paths are the same. While there will be commonalities in what we each experience, there will also be differences. I also believe that none of us are uniquely or irreparably “broken,” and that each of us can find a path to living much fuller, healthier lives in greater freedom. To be clear, I had doubts throughout this process . . . believing that somehow, I was MORE “broken,” and that I wouldn’t find my way out of the darkness. But the natural, innate healing power we each possess is profoundly AWESOME, and it quietly, patiently works in the background in each of our lives. . . even if we can’t see it, and even if we don’t trust it. For me, the psychiatric drug withdrawal / tapering process turned out to be an invitation to learn how to live my life differently. It became clear to me in this journey that I could never go back to some idealized place I vaguely imagined myself clinging to . . . I could only move forward to somewhere I had not yet been. I need to be honest: It is still hard to revisit and write about just how painful this drug withdrawal process was. Now that I’m feeling so much better, a part of me wants to forget the whole ordeal . . . as if looking in a rear-view mirror, driving ever-further away. And the reality is that this rear-view mirror perspective is very much real -- I’m SO grateful not to be suffocating in such intense pain anymore! But it is also true I will carry the scars of this experience with me for the rest of my life. It is clear to me now that some of me died through this drug withdrawal process. It is also true that the most precious parts of me came back to life. And I am still healing. I was very much disabled through the most intensive parts of the drug taper. I was on these psych drugs for panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire adult life, over 25 years. Additionally, I was drinking alcohol abusively, and relying on multiple pots of coffee and a pack of cigarettes to get me through each day. Even before I had decided to get off the meds, I was utterly exhausted most of the time, barely functional, and unconsciously stumbling through life like a zombie. I knew I had to fundamentally change how I was living. The first step in my detox efforts was to quit alcohol in April of 2014, 30 years after taking my first drink as a kid. Thankfully, I was able to release alcohol from my life relatively easily. Whatever boost alcohol had given me previously was gone, and it was clear to me as a 44 year old man that the devastating hangovers I experienced were getting more difficult. Then, over that following summer and under doctor supervision, I “tapered” entirely off both the Lorazepam and Zoloft that I had been taking for 24 years. I experienced tons of anxiety in the process, but I did it, and after the 4-month ordeal, I thought I was in the clear. Unfortunately, about six weeks after taking my last dose of Zoloft, what I now know to be protracted withdrawal hit, and my life spun into a depth of hell that words cannot describe. Instead of re-instating the same drugs I had been taking, the doctors took me on an 8-month “trial-and-error” roller coaster ride of psychiatric drug experimentation. I finally ended up on higher doses of the drugs I had originally quit, plus Remeron added in for good measure. Through all of this, I landed in a very bad place – exhausted, functionally disabled, unable to work, and unsure what to do next. I had some savings in the bank I could live on for a few years, so I decided to “hole up” to do a new taper, following the much slower tapering protocol of the SurvivingAntidepressants.org website. But my savings were limited, so I used the 10% reduction protocol as a baseline, and pushed the taper as fast as I could without killing myself in the process. I’m not sure I would suggest this approach to anyone else, but in my situation, that’s what I did. Note: I’m going to refrain from listing out all the symptomatic horrors I experienced (there were many) as I write this success story. Here is the link, if you’re interested, to my introductory thread which details my four-year psychiatric drug withdrawal process: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11862-%E2%98%BC-elbee-25-years-of-meds/ And I want to take a moment here to say how incredibly grateful I am to @Altostrata, @Shep @brassmonkey, @bubble, @apace41, @Gridley, @Rhiannon (her writings), @JanCarol, @KarenB, @ChessieCat, @Petunia, @scallywag and all the folks at SurvivingAntidepressants.org who helped save my life. I also came across Robert Whitaker’s book, Anatomy of an Epidemic around the same time I found this site, and from these resources, I knew I had stumbled into truth. It became clear to me that so much of what the mainstream medical establishment had told me about these drugs, and about my so-called “chemical imbalance,” was false -- I had been lied to. SurvivingAntidepressants.org helped me anchor into this truth and set me on a new course. THANK YOU! With these new resources, I came to understand that getting off the drugs wasn’t just a simple matter of refraining from ingesting chemicals, or even about waiting for those chemicals to dissipate out of my body. I learned that my brain had restructured itself around the presence of the drugs all these years and that by removing the drugs, my brain would have to, very slowly, restructure itself again to a healthy state. The metaphor of a plant (my brain) growing on a trellis (the drugs) for support is so profound to me. How can I expect to abruptly rip out the trellis and think that it won’t damage the plant in devastating ways? This metaphor was such a clear illustration to me of how a neuroplastic human brain builds tolerance, and how we can so easily become entangled in the physiological mechanisms of addiction. And to be very clear, our brains develop tolerance to psychiatric drugs just like they do street drugs, and the mechanics of addiction and withdrawal in each are the same. Gaining this knowledge and allowing it to sink in was probably one of the most important early milestones in my healing process. In preparing for writing this success story, I re-read my entire introductory thread. Several pivotal posts stood out to me as other milestones in my healing process, and while this testimonial might go long, I think it could be useful to touch on some of them . . . In my very first post, I am already talking about the value of meditation. Sitting with myself quietly and focusing on my breath helped me slow down my mind and learn to relax. As I continued with the practice, though, I began experiencing periods of discomfort. I had initially taken the psychiatric drugs to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, and as I practiced meditating space was again created for those feelings to arise. Learning to slowly sit with and tolerate whatever thoughts and feelings arose began to nullify my need to run away, and therefore, lesson my urge to drug the discomfort. Meditation became a cornerstone of my self-care practice, and self-care is what I ultimately found to replace the drugs. Next milestone -- about a year later, I wrote an entry about a decision I was struggling with on whether to consult with a renowned psychiatrist. A relative was able to get me an appointment for a psychiatric medication evaluation from a “leader in the field” (at the bargain price of $2,000). Looking back, it was then I decided I no longer believed in the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, nor the system that deals in them. I wrote: Next, in the summer of 2016, still early in my tapering and recovery process, I went on a 111-day, 9,000-mile solo road trip across the U.S. In retrospect, I was probably looking for something “out there” that was missing “in here.” I did a four-day vision fast in the wilderness, hiked a 14,000-foot mountain, roamed Death Valley, did a week-long silent meditation retreat, camped under redwoods, hiked numerous National Parks, etc. Was it really a good idea to take this pilgrimage in such a compromised state? I can’t say for sure, but it’s what I did, and I think it cracked through defenses that needed to open. In the Hoh Forest of Olympic National Park in Washington state, I experienced a release of emotions like I had never felt before. It was in that moment I finally realized that releasing stored emotional blockages could ease my anxiety: Another milestone: Upon returning home to Florida later that fall, I dove more deeply into my involvement with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) 12-Step program. In conjunction with doing EMDR with a skilled, compassionate trauma therapist, ACA helped me crack through layers of protective childhood denial that I had carried into adulthood. Some people advise NOT deliberately digging into the unconscious too much while going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, but my path has been that of heavy digging. I accepted living in a disabled state for a period of time and felt that if I was going to get off these drugs, I needed to address what drove me to take them in the first place. By early summer of 2017, my commitment to this recovery approach had strengthened. Along with addressing the trauma associated with childhood family dysfunction, I opened another door . . . into the shame and terror I experienced hiding as a closeted young gay boy and gay teen. I had initially come out 25 years earlier at age 20 (the same time I started taking the psych drugs), but that was only part of my truth I was hiding. The secrets of my sexual orientation were built upon the secrets of having grown up in family dysfunction: Homophobia turned out to be compounding trauma, and I had been living in a closet within a closet. I had more inner work to do. Perhaps one of my most significant milestones was realizing how important it was for me to take the lead in my healing, and how easily I had deferred to the “expertise of authorities” in my life. By June of 2017, I had navigated my way off the benzos completely, and I recognized the importance of building an internal sense of trust – connecting with my more authentic self to discover a new inner compass. Despite appearing outwardly confident most of my life, inner trust was something I lacked. By allowing myself to fully feel, I had opened to recognizing my own authentic needs, to directly and respectfully communicating my needs, and to setting healthy limits and boundaries. By learning these important skills that I had missed earlier in life, I discovered greater internal trust with myself, and greater discernment in trusting others. By January of 2018, I had another important insight: I more fully recognized I was going through an internal chemical withdrawal process in addition to detoxing from the drugs I was ingesting. Behavioral (or process) compulsions and addictions all have physiological and neurological correlates, and I had been heavily “dosing” throughout my life using my own “internal drug store.” This realization profoundly shifted my perspective on my psychiatric drug withdrawal process, seeing it in a more comprehensive context. A lot of my recovery has involved working with an “inner critic” that had been driving me most of my life, born and sustained from a lack of unconditional love. Ironically, this harshness was so pervasive that I had never consciously known it was there. My inner critic constantly pushed me into the extremes of all-nothing thinking. Again, meditative practices more than anything helped me identify this was going on, and ACA reparenting (inner child work) has allowed me to soften it. By the end of 2018, I started discovering something that had evaded me my whole life – moderation, and a general sense of “OK-ness.” By April 2019, I had found a new pace in life to accompany my new inner compass, and I was nearing the full completion of my psychiatric drug taper. I was one-year benzo-free at this point, and at times, I was overwhelmed with heights of new sensations and emotions. I was feeling things I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager because I had been drugged my entire adult life. It was overpowering in many ways, but I was so grateful to be “awakening” to a much more fully human life. On April 28, 2019, I was finally free from Zoloft, and my psychiatric drug taper was complete. I had found a way out of the darkness, and I had survived. I couldn’t remember having ever felt so alive. So, while this isn’t my entire recovery story, I’m fulfilling my promise to report back and share my continuing journey with others. Where do things stand today, 15 months after taking a psychiatric drug for the last time ever? No need to panic. I’m not experiencing depersonalization, derealization (DP/DR), or panic attacks in frightening ways. I do still feel what I might call different states of consciousness, but often there is a positive, expansive quality to these experiences. Perhaps some might call this bliss? I haven’t really found ways to talk about it yet clearly, but I don’t experience panic attacks in the ways I used to. I still have fears of them returning, but less so with time. I also get “eerie” feelings now and again, but I have found ways to work with that when it happens, and it doesn’t usually last long. Scariest weirdness has ceased. Most of the “unexplainable” adverse reactions I experienced don’t happen anymore. I would get terrible flu-like symptoms for days at a time . . . hot flashes and chills, body aches, cramps, twitches, headaches, fogginess and disorientation, exhaustion, etc. Sometimes my heart would start racing for no apparent reason, or I would have trouble breathing. I had chronic digestion issues. I had intense agoraphobia, even paranoia at times. I had problems making the simplest decisions. All of this, for the most part, has subsided. Consistent rest. My sleep has changed dramatically, and I’m so grateful. I have struggled with sleep my entire life . . . unable to fall asleep at night and feeling anxious and “hungover” with crippling anxiety each morning. For as long as I can remember, I wanted nothing more than to sleep “normally” from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and wake-up feeling well-rested. Today, more times than not, my sleep resembles very much what I used to wish for. I wrote an entry summarizing what I’ve done to address my sleep issues here. Keep gently working with triggers. I still have intense anxiety at times and find myself in hypervigilant states. I’ve come to understand this as a trauma response, and I can usually identify what has triggered me and/or how my inner critic has become activated. I’ve developed self-care routines that help to reduce these reactions, and that help me come out of this state much more quickly and easily. Some old wounds have healed permanently – some things that used to trigger me no longer do. AND I want to emphasize there are days now, thankfully, I live virtually anxiety-free. Self-care (reparenting) is my new drug. I had SO much resistance to doing self-care my whole life (for many reasons I won’t get into here). And by self-care, I don’t mean treating myself to a spa day (though that probably doesn’t hurt). I mean the day-in and day-out routines of physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually tending to myself like I’m the most precious being in the world. Self-care is what got me to where I am today, and it will be the practice of my lifetime. Don’t overdo it. As my life continues to get fuller, I can easily start “checking-out” again. If I stay dissociated for too long, I will pay for it. If I overcommit while on autopilot, I will have adverse reactions when I reconnect with myself. If I try to shortcut too much on the self-care, I will most definitely feel it, and I will struggle. Moving forward, I have to be very careful not to take on too much too quickly, and simply take next best steps. The worst is over. I’ve come to accept that I will never know how much of the excruciating symptoms I experienced these past years were due directly to the psychiatric drug withdrawal, versus how much was due to all the “inner work” I was doing. What I can say is that the symptoms from folks going through psychiatric drug withdrawal and folks doing inner transformative (trauma) work tend to be very much the same. It’s uncanny really, and I can’t explain it. But these two processes seem to very much mirror each other. What I can say is that while there will still be “windows and waves” as my brain keeps healing, and while I still have more “inner work” to do, I’m confident the heaviest lifting for me is done now. Perhaps most indicative of the healing I’ve experienced, I’m feeling well enough now that I’m back in school earning a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) – I’m going to become a therapist. While I’m a bit uneasy stepping towards healthcare systems that betrayed me so deeply, I also feel this is how I can be of most benefit. I’ve come to fully believe that my wounds are intrinsically linked to my gifts, and as I continue to heal my wounds, my gifts will become increasingly available. I’ve been doing volunteer work for some time now, which has helped me to “move back out into the world,” and I hope to transition into paid work soon. I’ve been meeting with people in support capacities, and I envision “coaching” people at some point until I more formally earn my credentials. I plan to be very open about my history with psychiatric drugs, as well as my recovery process. I journaled extensively all throughout my recovery process, and perhaps I will share the “long version” of my story in the future (yes, this is the short version). For now, writing this success story is an important next step in my “coming out.” Thank you for witnessing my healing. Elbee-Success-Story_Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25 years on them.pdf

Hi there, I have been through polydrug hell, suffered insomnia after medical shock then given host of sleep meds but believe they caused paradoxical breathing or possibly withdrawals maybe from mix, was given zolpiclone and Xanax and no in breath when going into deeper sleep and would wake constantly? Has anyone experienced this? Continued and given mirtrazapine at morning time! Then amitriptyline which caused urinary retention stopped both, no sleep still so kept on Xanax and zopiclone, then stopped and the same scenario no in breath? If anyone knows what this is? I was then given Xanax to keep me asleep, never more than 1mg ar night only, would you have withdrawals from that if just at night? Panic attacks as no sleep only an hour or so, myoclonus, can’t sleep during day time jerks hypnic. Then started sertraline and hyperacusis started and Xanax still. Then went to psych hospital as wasn’t sure what was happening? Was treated horrifically told agitated depression, never had depression in life, we thing misdiagnosed badly, by power tripping psych as I challenged that. Given Effexor, then clonazapam at night 1mg kept pushing Effexor up, no benefit. I was so worried as they were leaving me on clonazapam, I was only taking at night, day was cut cold Turkey as I was too sleepy. No weaning. Then told take more at night! But got trazadone added 100mg and cut clonazapam to .5 from 1mg, hyperacusis back as had gone but worse than when went in! Effexor pushed up more, phergen added night and clonazapam cut to .25mg from .5mg, Effexor up at 150mg, hyperacusis unbelievable now! Odd as if was depression should the Effexor now get rid of hyperacusis? No benefit. Then told take more, 187 and I couldn’t sleep at all. Myoclonus so bad. Was left even though had bruising everywhere ignored amongst so many other symptoms panic attacks so bad, let out as insurance up, left in lurch, cut to 150 Effexor then 112 and hyperacusis worsening. Got public psych but she said thinks misdiagnosed but no disgnosis and said cut Effexor to 75 and hyperacusis was too much to bear I had to go back to 112.5 mg. What is going on, I’ve never dealt with drugs like this before and don’t know what’s going on and very bad care here, told hyperacusis ENT thing but ruled out but ignored. Hypnic jerks, sleep not great at all, panic so bad in morning feel in total trauma ptsd all time freeze mode. Treated so badly. No info given on anything when in hospital just ignored and wouldn’t wean me off clonazapam yet told me Im on addictive meds now for life! Can anyone help me on hyperacusis and what’s going on breathing at night and hypnic jerks. Breathing is separate than jerks, no in breath in deeper sleep stage. I am at wits end and no life. Left without help. Clonazapam Now out of stock. I’m on it still what left .25mg trazadone and melatonin now might, wake up in horrors. Is it possibly to have withdrawals daily? If low dose? I’m so confused. Pharmacist said possible, my nervous system in total disarray. The 112 to 75 was too much. Too fast just cut fast. Any help on how to cut as tried opening beads out but even that hyperacusis was getting worse? Please help me make sense of this all? Thank you. Is it trauma PTSD, withdrawals, as I am worse now than ever, do get some sleep which is good thing. But wake in horrors. All day panic attacks constantly no let up unless lying down. BP all over place. Get so weak. Have thyroid condition and period issues, fibroid and lot of blood loss monthly. Skin is so dry. Diarrhea all time, gastro issues, reflux. In such panic I just need some advice what May be going on? Thanks so much

Does anyone no longer get any pleasure from music? Has anyone experienced this and then had the joy of listening to music return? After a lifetime of loving music it’s just noise to me now. Music used to evoke strong feelings of pleasure and strong emotions. Now? Nothing. It’s noise. This makes me very sad.

tntd-severe-anxiety-with-agoraphobia-in-cold-turkey-withdrawal-dr-increased-benzo Hi to everyone and thank you for accepting me into this group. I was planning on tapering from my Wellbutrin after I had been stable on it for a couple of months. I have only been taking it since January but had been experiencing what I thought were just increased anxiety and agitation from it. I was inpatient at the time and the doctors told me that those weren't side effects and it was just my own anxiety. I have a long history of panic disorder which was under control until my husband and I decided to move to another city due to a job change. After I left the hospital it took a month to be able to get in to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately she had a very strong accent and though I think accents are neat I have had trouble understanding people with accents since I had surgery to correct a badly deviated septum. So I had to wait another month to see a different psychiatrist. I was having a horrible time on the Bupropione the whole time but I was able to get some help from a mental health urgent care clinic.They increased my Buspirone from 30 mg to 50 mg which really helped with the anxiety I was experiencing from the Buproprion, I finally got in to see a new psychiatrist and the first thing she wanted to do was take me off the clonazepam. She wanted to cut my dose in half but I only cut it by a quarter. About five days later I was in full blown withdrawal and she wouldn't believe me. She said if I was in withdrawal I would be in the hospital. I have been going to a group and one of the facilitators told me I should go back to the mental health urgent care which I did the next day and they referred me to an addictionologist. He has been wonderful. He confirmed that I was indeed in withdrawal. I was pretty much through it by that time but at least he understood. It had been about three weeks since I had tapered down on the clonazepam and he recognized that the bupropirone was causing me problems so he told me to drop it to half. After my recent experience I chose to drop it by .25 again. I went straight into severe withdrawal and he reinstated the medication after only two days of a reduction. At this point I would wake up every morning with severe trembling and anxiety so I switched my night time clonazepam to the morning and that caused those symptoms to remit. I was feeling really good and enjoying my days. Getting out into the sunlight, walking my dog, mowing the lawn. It was great. Anyway I learned about a device called Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation (CES) that is supposed to help you with anxiety and depression and since I want to get off my medications I discussed it with my psychiatrist. He thought it would work so he gave me a prescription for it. I started using it 15 days ago. The first two days were great. I woke up with no anxiety and I felt even better than ever. Then I started having increased anxiety on the third day. One of the things that the CES device can do is increase the effectivness of your medications, and their side effects. About a week into my use of the device the side effects from the Buproprion became intolerable. It turned out that the clonazepam had been disguising akathisia and the CES brought it out. Of course this happened over Memorial Day Weekend so I was left to my own devices and the wonderful counsel of my concerned husband. We decided to drop my Buproprian to 75 mg IR to see if that would help. Unfortunately it did not. I didn't seem to have any withdrawal symptoms either though. On Tuesday we went in to see my Dr and he recommended a beta blocker for the side effect. It worked wonderfully. Unfortunately it also caused me to become depressed. The Dr recommended that I go off the medication completely at this point. So starting the next day on June 1 I went cold turkey. The withdrawal symptoms started immediately. I have had crying spells and unending anxiety. I have continued to use the CES as it is reputed to help with withdrawal symptoms and to help prevent relapsing into depression. It seems to help but not as much as I would like it too. I know that my brain has to remodel itself and it will take time even with the help of the CES device. I have also been using L-theanine which helps a little. I am really trying to find some way to reduce the anxiety as it has turned me into a severe agoraphobic. I hide in my basement so I don't even have to look outside because that is anxiety producing in itself. The only way I have been keeping sane is to keep my brain occupied by surfing the net. I have also been reading The Mood Cure trying to find something that will help with the anxiety. I do have extra clonazepam that the Dr gave me and I have Baclofen but I don't want to have any more addictions than I already do. Once I get off the Buproprion I am planning a liquid taper of the clonazepam. I really feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place because if I reinstate the Buproprion at all then I have the akathisia to deal with and the medication for it makes me depressed. I would really love any input that anyone has for me. I have been thiking of trying some of the following for the anxiety. Lemon Balm Valerian Root Inositol Niacinamide (the Niacin makes me itchy from the histamine release) L-glycine Taurine Ashwaghanda I even read that someone coming off of Buprorpion had some success with L-phenalalanine but I have anxiety issues so I don't know if that would be counter productive or helpful becasue going off of the Buproprion is what is causing this. I'm also afraid of long term consequences to the cold turkey but I don't know what else I could have done. I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thank you, and thank you for this wonderful group.

Hello all. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. My signature is at the bottom. In January of 2020 got tinnitus in my right ear which sent me down a path of no sleep and anxiety. Put on ambien, lunesta, klonopin, and some other drugs and then put on remeron while tapering klonopin for sleep. I am 8 months post klonopin jump (around 0.042 mg) via homebrew taper (as well as I could measure). Still recovering from the klonopin and wanted to pursue tapering remeron. The max I have taken of remeron is 7.5 mg. I have been struggling with tapering and not sure if my symptoms are klonopin related or remeron or both. Most of my symptoms are head related (tingling, ringing, etc.) and some tingling and burning of the body and the incredible appetite. I have been trying to stabilize at my cut to 5.5 mg which was around a week ago and feel horrible. As most know the Challege with dry cutting with a scale is my pills all weigh differently and I try to weigh and maintain a constant dose and it is hard. I got my PCP to do a compound script, but the compounding pharmacy only does 10 mg / 1 ml formulations (the others I spoke with did not even reference formulations but referenced teaspoons) so I went with that. What I am trying to do is do a split to transition to the liquid. I.e., day 1... 4 mg pill + 1.5 ml (1.5 mg) liquid, etc. and spend about a week transitioning. I feel horrible all the time. My cns is damaged from the klonopin (when I came off it was terrible) and still do not feel very stable. I struggle with staying on the remeron longer to heal from the klonopin but have this feeling that I am not healing from that due to the remeron and want off all drugs. (Only remeron, allegra, and astepro nasal spray) Part of me wants to jump but very scared of that. I just feel like I am in acute w/d all the time...no windows and cannot figure out how to stabilize. Appreciate any feedback or guidance. Thanks, Seeking 8/20 .5 mg K 9/20 K to 0.25 mg 3x day C/T K 10/20 per Dr. .5 mg K on 10/20 Cut K to .113 mg 12/20 - .62mg 1/31/21 on .5 mg 2/8 - .25 night, .25 day 2/27 - .41 mg 3/7 - Held K & - tapered 3mg Lunesta for 4 weeks 4/4 - K resume - 5% cut/hold .39 mg 4/11 - Dry DMT .001g daily 5/8 - .28 mg - remeron for sleep 6/5 - .23 mg 6/6 - Held 7/10 - .19 mg 8/7 - .15 mg 9/4 - .12 mg 9/19 - .12 via milk titration 10/15 - 0.098 mg 11/4 - 0.080 mg 11/27 - 0.068 mg 12/4 - 0.062 mg 12/25 - 0.053 mg 1/6 - 0.050 mg 1/22 - 0.0425 mg 1/23 - JUMPED 4/15 - taper Remeron 10% 4/22 - 10% more 4/27 - to quick went back to 7.5 mg 5/2 - trying a 5% drop - 7.125 estimated mg 9/9 - Currently at 5.5 mg

I have been on Prozac for about 25 years. I tried to taper few times in the past, but it didn't work. So what can be different this time? I am hoping this board will make the difference. I know I can't do it alone. I am now taking 10 mg Prozac daily. I was on 40 mg about 2 years ago, and took it down very slowly, cutting 5 mg every few months. One reason that it took so long was because I was also tapering clonazepam. Another reason was the failed attempts in the past. What I learned from tapering clonazepam I hope to put into use while tapering Prozac. One lesson that I learned is that you need to do it slow. There is just no other way. Another lesson is that you need support. I am looking for my next cut in a few months and my goal is to be completely drug free by the end of the year. I have been on disability during the last couple of years while recovering from clonazepam withdrawal. It's been hell and I'm still not completely recovered. I am looking to get back to work as soon as I can but I know it could still take more time. The biggest challenge will be to deal with withdrawal and setbacks without going back on Prozac. My hope is that I will be able to do that with the help of this board.

Original topic title: I survived Generalized anxiety disorder to a very intense degree as well as Major depressive disorder in a very short amount of time, I basically dropped Pregabalin, and clonazepam Now I only have to drop Pristiq( please help me Hey How is this community? I was researching and I found you all. I hope you all are well and doing great. I suffered from Anxiety since I was around 18 years and it would come and go in waves. I never really resorted to Psychotropic drugs. Most of the time my anxiety would spotaneously resolve. I would always stay very active with exercise and swimming and sports. I always had great family and friend support and my disorder never got out of hand. I had bouts of recreational drug use and abuse during my college years but never was an addict( I used MDMA and cocaine). However even with my anxiety disorder I never took this SSRI/SNRI garbage and I suffered from anxiety for 13 years. Essentially it is Garbage. It might help to a degree with anxiety or depression. But I see the damage it does to the beautiful human body. My anxiety got out of control starting last year and it kept getting more intense. I never dealt with anxiety at this level. It was something surreal. I was just suprised. I always had anxiety. But this was something out of this world. The anxiety kept getting more intense, the spiraling thoughts, then the anxiety took over my body, mind and soul. I was rendered incapacitated. I started to develop depression and also suicidal thoughts. I never dealt with something of this magnitude. It was truly out of this world. I had to take some time from work. I developed a plan to recover. I read self help books. I had family support. I started to exercise intensively and I got on Psychotropic drugs. This took place this year the worst of it from february 2022 to May 2022. I am essentially recovered now August 2022. Lyrica, Clonazepam and Pristiq. My dosage of Lyrica was 400 mg a day at one point. Eventually I developed a tolerance to the Lyrica and dropped it ; I tapered it and I got off it without a problem. I also had this weird intuition in my gut. Its very unusual. Its something related to God or a higher power for certain( I am a Christian). Something just told me to drop the Lyrica and I tapered it over a week or two and got off without an issue. I also have a strong brain body connection. I have dealt with anxiety. I also do not always view my anxiety as a bad thing. Even though its force is overwhelming at times I learned to rest in it and accept it and allow the energy to pass. Anxiety is a form of energy. Thanks to God, a higher power or whatever miracle. I survived GAD and Major depressive disorder very rapidly this year probably over 2-3 months. It was very intense but I survived. I now continue to experience anxiety but instead of intense fear, its just amplified energy. My panic attacks dissapeared. I had panic attacks, phobias, and agoraphobia I Survived. Anyways now I just have one beast to conquer. I put my faith in this community to help. I know I can survive this too. This a mere part of the process. I have not been on the SNRI for a long time. I wish I never started. Since February to now August I gained roughly 20 pounds So I only have been on pristiq for 6 months . I went from a nice basically good looking 30 year old male who was 6'2 very fit and 215 pounds to a 30 year old male who now has 235-240 pounds. This was all due to the pristiq and lyrica and I am happy I dropped Lyrica. On saturday 8.6.2022 I dropped my Pristiq from 100 mg to 75 mg. So far the withdrawal has not been too intense. I only have been on Pristiq for 6 months. I kind of want to do a faster taper. Any advice? I have confidence in God, myself, my body, my mind that I will drop this ****. I want to do it safely but if possible a bit quickier. The intuition in my body or some kind of force told me start this now. Now is the time. Now you will get off this crap. I think my Body can do this. I know I can. I am staying positive. The power within. All of us have it. I know some of your journeys have been long. So has mine with anxiety, it has been 13 years of dealing with it. I mostly stuck to exercise and supplements and family and friend support to deal with it and always was successful. This year I started to take this Pristiq crap and maybe it helped maybe it didn't. I think time did. According to most research Depressive episodes and anxiety episode last a year and dissolve naturally. I am standing now at Pristiq 75 mg. I am on clonazepam .25 mg plan on dropping it over the next 2 weeks. Basically have no benzo withdrawal or any issues with that and a high level of discipline and know I will drop it. What is the best and safest way to taper Pristiq 75 mg? with the least amount of damage done? I dropped to this dose on Saturday from 100 mg. Basically I am taking one 25 mg extended release tablet and one 50 mg extended release tablet. I have been on Pristiq only 6 months. It was a terrible choice. I will never go on any SSRI or SNRI after this. I also do not like the feeling I lived till 30 years old something without pills( supplements okay) but its just crap. They also lie. Pristiq is addictive. They made the chemical like that on purpose. The side effects are horrendous and I am having a doubt in my mind if it truly helps anxiety. It just numbs you out. Maybe helpful to a degree but its just B/S.

Hello everyone, I'm confused lately on what's going on. I'll share my history first: I was on Effexor, Lithium, Klonopin and Tegretol for various times for anxiety and bipolar (although I'm not sure if I was bipolar or just developmental psychology throughout my 20's). Anyway, I came off all drugs after tapering. The klonopin was the last drug I came off back in 2012. I healed from it all around 2 years later.... Here's what's strange after all these years of feeling better, I suddenly got derealization and depersonalization again along with adrenaline and some tinnitus. I'm just curious if this is because of stress in life OR if it's a setback. Perhaps my brain was still healing on the back burner? Maybe I took something that caused me to setback or overwhelming stress: only things I can think of I took the past month was nicotine gum, collagen supplement or retinoid creme for my face. Only things I can think of. Just strange after all these years off meds and healed, a few of the symptoms come back. Don't get me wrong, I've healed myself bucket loads in 10 years, but why some of the symptoms return? Can this happen because of stress or something we took? The derealization and depersonalization are the worst: I haven't been able to feel much emotion in 2 weeks now. Just terrible stuff. Thanks, D.

Well my signature will tell you most, but I found this site as I was searching for how to wean off of my antidepressants. I read quite a bit all over on this site and found out that I need to start with 10% reduction. And I am also going to get a scale to help in my reduction of the effexor, money going towards my health. I tried going off the wellbutrin once and I became seriously depressed so had to go back on it. I thought it would be easier to start with that one since it was so low, but did not realise as I read on here that it is a slow release one and I need to change to another kind to be able to slowly go off of it. I do not know if my doctor will allow me without knowing what I am doing, and I do not want to tell her as she does not support me going off the medication, so not sure what to do for this drug? The Effexor, I went one does lower almost a year back because I found it was causing my vision to be blurry after allot of investigating to find out the cause. I just went one dose lower and I had brain zaps for a few months and the first week was like I was a drug addict on withdrawals for 3 days, crazy! I have not been able to go lower without allot of problems, so I am hoping the 10% reduction rule will help me, I will wait until I get my scale to begin. I am wondering, as a read early on another sight how some people are able to lower there dosage by using other natural supplements for the brain chemistry to help them to have less anxiety and depression as they came off there medications, some had to use alternative supplements to keep from getting sads or help with there anxiety, anyone know anything about this? it interests me as I have both long before I went on antidepressants and wonder what I can do to keep the anxiety and mild depression at bay from the long winters, and because for some reason, no one and nothing I have tried or read in almost 30 years has helped with my anxiety and I have been stuck with the clonazepam as my only option, and not a great one at that, as the more you take it, the more you need for it to stay effective and thus the addiction starts up. I have learned to sit still and meditate since then, but still it is not enough for the anxiety, I just do not know what to do about this problem when I am off of the medication, the antidepressants do not help with the anxiety unless I am on a higher dose that I cannot feel or cry, and I feel like I exist and that's it, so I will not take that high of dosage. Long story short, I do not like the side affects and the longer I am on these drugs the more drugs they start to prescribe for the side affects I am starting to get, this is unacceptable to me and I want off this drug roller coaster ride. Thank you for listening to my first long post. I like the saying "a problem shared is a problem halved" and so this site will be a great help as we all help each other. Here's to being the warrior, not the victim!