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Hi. I'm new in this forum so, Im not sure what I can write about and such. Are there any rules? If so it would be helpful. Now that is out of the way, I'd like to share my thoughts and experience of having tourette's syndrome and psycholotropic drugs use including my experience with heroin to which I have successfully stopped using in 1996. So in 1996 I went to a rehabilitation center. After a month of being off heroin, my tourette's disorder started to appear. For three years of using Opiates my Tourette's was gone. I actually didn't know I had Tourette's till I was 21. The sad truth is, I was put on other drugs because the rehabilitation center didn't know what to do about my Tourette's so the councilor assigned to me called a doctor to see me. That's when I started taking antidepressants for the first time in my life. I had no problem getting clean from heroin, but the antidepressants + benzo related drugs , prescribed from doctors is worse. 2014 I suffered a nervous breakdown. My Mother gave me some of her pills, said that they were "natural" and I was desperate. So I took them. I wanted to get off them since I started. It took me three years to except I had any condition. In denial no drug worked for me. As soon as I excepted my situation, the drugs started working. Now I want to get off everything. I want to sleep a natural sleep. I know how depressed I can get. I tried to commit suicide four times. I hope this is interesting for readers. I wish to contribute to others in any way I can through my own experience.

Hi there, I am glad that I found this forum and as I am at a very desperate state in my life right now - I am glad that I can find some people relating to my topic. I have first been prescribed Cipralex 5 mg about 10 years ago, when I was 20. I changed from high school to university and started having panic attacks from time to time and a very weird way of feeling myself (like being in a vacuum). Looking back, it was not THAT horrific but a general practitioner prescribed it to me after having a 10 minute-chat with me. I didn´t have any idea what antidepressants were back then - also he did not tell me anything about it. So I took it. I must say that - whether it was placebo or not - it helped. So I got off them (5mg, very small dose). 2 years later I had a similar phase, already working at an agency where I experienced panic attacks and felt very anxious in general. So I thought to myself: Hey that stuff worked the first time - I´ll take that again. I don´t really know if it did anything for me this time because I also quit my job and took a long vacation - I guess that would have done it as well. After maybe a little less than a year I quit again - this time it seemed harder. I always tapered - even with this little dosage. When I quit- the first time in my life ever, I had sort of depressive phases. But it went away. Then again some years later I had a very stressfull time in my life and a trigger-event that got me really freaked out and depression kicked in ...this time I did not want to start medication again but I could not see another way. thankfully shortly after I found my coaching technique that reeeallyyy helped a lot, did some family constellations and really started to understand the whole reason WHY I was dealing with all those problems. I understand now and I don´t feel crazy anymore for having experienced what I have experienced. But okay. So at the maximum I took 10 mg of Cipralex ( i always refused the neurologists wish of taking more and more) because I did not feel that the antidepressants helped. While taking 10 mg I still had very depressive phases, so I thought: Okay, if I take more, will it get better or will I just be damaging my body more and more? I continued working with my coach, working on myself, getting to know myseld and really digging into the hurtful past and reasons. This helped A LOT and was the only reason I felt better. So soon I reduced again to 5mg ( in steps) Eeeevery time I reduced my dose I got a depressive phase following, about 3 weeks later that would last around a month. Including sweating a lot, feeling like having a feaver, being depressed,feeling anxious, feeling like I can´t go to training, feeling weak, etc. but I always got better again. So I did this really slowly..always allowing my body to adjust to the next step. In late August (2015) i took my last „powder 0,000xx mg“ and boom...after 3 weeks I started feeling HORRIBLE. ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! I had troubles I never had before (or still have) lik e being totally paranoid, feeling completely deprersonalzed, having terrible brainfog, headaches, ...all that in addition to having all the old **** I am used to when having a down. So for 2 months I felt horrible, then it got a lot better for month, now it is completely terrible again since mid-december. I AM GOING CRAZY! I am very well informed and very convinced that all that is due to withdrawl and that my brain needs time to adjust but OH MY GOD how can one stand this horrible times?I feel so terribly weak! All the time I have to push myself really hard: To get out of bed, to talk to friends, to go outside, to go to work, ...everything is a huge struggle...it is sooooo exhausting. Luckily I do have all the support I could wish for from friends and family and boyfriend! I am very thankful for that! But still I feel alone with all this war inside of me because I feel like they don´t know what I am going through. If I feel really bad for two weeks and then have a window – okay, at least you get a break. But feeling that awful for over a month is draining all my energy. How do you cope? How do you get through this? What do you do when you sit alone at home, feel to weak and terrible to call someone..how do you drag yourself out of this? Ps.: Sorry if my English is not that good:)

It is so gratifying to see psychiatry held accountable. Thank you Ang, Horowitz, and Moncrieff for not letting psychiatry off the hook! * Is the chemical imbalance an ‘urban legend’? An exploration of the status of the serotonin theory of depression in the scientific literature by Benjamin Ang, Mark Horowitz, Joanna Moncrieff Received 23 November 2021, Revised 26 March 2022, Accepted 9 April 2022, Available online 18 April 2022, Version of Record 25 April 2022. Link to full article, available for free: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S266656032200038X?via%3Dihub#bib14 * Abstract The theory that depression is caused by a serotonin abnormality or other chemical imbalance has become widely accepted by the public and is one prominent justification for the use of antidepressants. However, it has been increasingly questioned and there is little evidence it has empirical support. In response, leading psychiatrists suggested it was an ‘urban legend’ that was never taken seriously by the psychiatric profession. To interrogate these claims, we examined the coverage of the serotonin theory of depression in a sample of highly cited and influential academic literature from 1990, when the theory started to be popularized, to 2010 when these responses were articulated. We analysed 30 highly cited reviews of the aetiology of depression in general, 30 highly cited papers on depression and serotonin specifically and a sample of influential textbooks. The majority of the aetiology reviews supported the hypothesis, including some that were entirely devoted to describing research on the serotonin system, and those that reviewed the aetiology of depression more broadly. Research papers on the serotonin system in depression were highly cited and most of them strongly supported the serotonin theory. All textbooks supported the theory, at least in some sections, and devoted substantial coverage to it, although some also acknowledged it remained provisional. The findings suggest that the serotonin theory was endorsed by the professional and academic community. The theory is compared to an exhausted Kuhnian paradigm with professional equivocation about it acting as a means of defending it against encroaching criticism. The analysis suggests that, despite protestations to the contrary, the profession bears some responsibility for the propagation of a theory that has little empirical support and the mass antidepressant prescribing it has inspired. *

Anybody had any experience with this controversial therapy, good or bad?

Hi guysI'm new here. I'm a 33 year old female from the UK.I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, and went through a couple of different anti-depressants, before settling on Venlafaxine. I took 225mg per day. I've quite small (only 5'1) so I was told that was the highest I should go to. I also used to have social anxiety, mild OCD behavior, and was very 'snappy' and moody, but depression was the main problem. I'd had all these problems since about age 12.Around the same time as that diagnosis, I was diagnosed with Reactive Hypoglycaemia, which I now control through diet, but vastly affects my mood when my blood sugar levels get low. It's pretty much under control now through a strict diet and regular eating, except for about one day a month when my hormones affect it.14 years has passed and I started to think that maybe my problem had always mainly been the hypoglycaemia rather than true depression. I've seen a lot of doctors about the hypo and they all have very little knowledge about it - I would end up explaining it to them! - and they don't seem to understand how much it affects my mental state. I'd avoided attempting to come off the meds for a long time as I've heard horror stories, but I tapered them very slowly since the end of November last year, and stopped taking them around the end of May this year.My depression seemed fine, everything seemed fine. I was the same me as ever, and proud of myself.But the last few weeks...stupidly I didn't write down the exact date I stopped them - but maybe a week or two later, I'm not sure, I started feeling anxiety gradually building. It's so hard to know to what extent outside life affects it, but all I know is that I have a knot of anxiety in my stomach, and feeling so on edge is making me snap at my loved ones so much. I'm feeling really fragile, wanting to cry a lot, and this anxiety is driving me mad.So my questions are, is this my brain readjusting to living without chemicals, is this likely to get better?Or is this just how I am... do you think I need to go back on a low dose of the meds?I was so pleased with myself doing so well coming off them, but I'm finding life such a struggle right now. If I know there's an end to this anxiety I can struggle through, but how long do I want until I know if this is just how I am? I'm so tempted to just start them again, but it would be such a shame if this is just a withdrawal symptom.Advice really appreciated. Thanks for reading.

I have been on Sertraline (Zoloft) over the last 11 years. These were prescribed by a physician in an effort to treat my GAD/panic condition caused from high stress levels in college. Prescribed within a 10 minute appointment. I was 20 years old. And with no information on how long to take it or how to stop taking it. "Take this, it will help." The medication seemed to work OK for a few years. However, my experience over the last 2.5 years on this medication and with the psychiatry system has been a complete mess. My symptoms of anxiety (and the addition of depression) were exacerbated with many new symptoms and side effects: heightened anxiety, suicidal ideations, uncontrollable movements, cognitive impairment, and many others. I continued to speak to my psychiatrist about all these symptoms and my deep sense that we were on the wrong track. In fact I showed up in tears to the office. I was told I needed to increase my dosage, as I had more than likely become tolerant to my current dose. So as a good patient would, I listened to my doctor’s recommendation- increase from 50mg to 100mg. I increased to 75mg, had a follow-up appointment and relayed that I was feeling ‘OK’, but not great. So, I threw out an idea. How about this? Since increasing isn’t making me “better”, I’m going to reduce and taper off. Do the opposite. My psychiatrist was hesitant, but agreed if I wanted to take that journey then she’d support my decision and want me to continue check-ins. Was I given any advice or direction from the psychiatrist on tapering? Not really. I researched myself. I read many testimonials and clinical trials about the challenges of tapering off medications. I was ready for what I thought might be a very bumpy ride and determined I would decrease slowly over many months. I made myself a plan. Make a reduction every 6-8 weeks, so I have time to acclimate in between reductions. So I did just that. I also journaled my symptoms- physical, mental and emotional feelings daily. It wasn’t a fun process (def had some issues), but it wasn’t all that terrible. The added global pandemic definitely did not help the situation (super great time to come off medication). My last dose taken May 31, 2020. Six weeks go by and I’m doing pretty good. THEN, like a freight train, I’m hit with delayed post withdrawal. The most horrendous physical, mental and emotional pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. Nerve shocks, body aches, headaches, cognitive disorientation, tremors, severe insomnia, panic, crying spells, chest pain, no appetite, extreme anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. Things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Overall I lost 10 pounds. I cried every day. The insomnia got so bad (only slept 2 hrs each night), I was put on Trazodone for a short period. I was in a tailspin. I felt so alone. This lasted a very long 3 weeks. And honestly without my support system, this forum, and my stubborn attitude I don’t think I would have gotten through it. After those 3 weeks, I could feel myself getting closer to the surface again. I still struggled, but each day got a little better. A little more healed. Symptoms still lingered, but things were subsiding slowly. My body working out the kinks. I started feeling real improvements and larger windows at the 6 month mark. Still some bumps in the road, the occasional stress induced anxiety symptoms, but overall better. Every day got a little brighter. I now genuinely know the medication was the culprit in making me ill- inflaming all of my anxieties. Today I have been 1 year 3 months without any medication. Last dose taken on May 31, 2020. I can wholeheartedly tell you it does get better. I feel the best I’ve felt in years. My symptoms have all subsided. I still have general anxiety, but it is very minor in comparison to being on the medication. I have learned so much about myself, my strength and the coping mechanisms/exercises that work for me. And I’m still healing. Everyone’s story and timeline is different, however I hope sharing my experience gives you hope. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You can and will weather the storm and get through this journey. You may not see it now, but there is an end in sight. And it’s beautiful. Keep going. **On a personal note, THANK YOU to those of you that have also shared your experiences on this forum, as this undoubtedly helped me hang on during my journey of tapering and withdrawal.** XX Amber

I was put on 20mg of Seroxat in May 1996 (directly after two weeks of Valium). I was 19 years old. Prescription was for Panic Disorder, GAD and Mild Depression (although I had never felt depressed and explained that many times over the years to my doctor(s)). As were many, I was told I had a chemical balance which, just like a diabetic needs insulin, I needed seroxat. Since then, I have tried approximately 5 times to come off the medication (with taper of sorts - usually 10mg for a few weeks and then to zero). Each time, the anxiety came back, always with new symptoms (extreme nausea, vertigo, increased anxiety, obsessive dark thoughts). I also developed irrational fears (fear of driving on highways and over bridges, fear of ski lifts, fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of business meetings. In fact, pretty much fear of everything.). Each time I visited a doctor, I was told the same thing: you have a chemical imbalance and need to go back on Seroxat. Sure enough, a single tablet would have me feeling back to “normal” within a matter of hours. I used to joke about it with doctors “wow, what a placebo effect. This should take weeks to work?”. Now I realise I was (probably) in withdrawal. Two years ago, after being in a protracted depression for the best part of 10 years (something I hadn’t realised as it had become my baseline state), I had got myself down to approximately 7mg a day. The reason I was trying to come off was two fold: firstly, my wife and I wanted to start a family and I was concerned about both my fertility and damage to any baby I conceive. Secondly, I had made a huge effort to get fit, was running 40km a week and had dropped from 92kg to 78kg-I’m 178cm. This gave me the confidence that I was in the best physical place to achieve it. Soon after, I suffered what I considered to be a mental breakdown. I was ready to leave my loving wife and had developed a clinical apathy to everything. I became petrified I would commit suicide (I never felt this was realistic but the thought of it gave me panic attacks). Furthermore, I started wondering such thoughts as “will I jump off the balcony whilst sleep walking”. I had been seeing a psychologist for some time but talking about things seemed to make the situation worse. I also started seeing a CBT therapist. I would feel better during a session but on leaving, my mood would severely crash, like nothing I had ever experienced in my life. I knew I was in a bad place. The psychologist recommended me to a psychiatrist who was the most uncaring person I have ever met. How she medically practices, I have no idea. She wasn’t interested in my drug history, offered me barely five minutes of her time, and prescribed 50mg Trittico to be taken before bed. I took it for a few nights but decided that it was not right for me. She then offered me several other kinds of SSRIs. I declined them all and went back to 20mg of Seroxat. However, this time felt different. I was sure that seroxat was nothing more than the placebo (how could you explain the fact I got better after taking a single favor each time I had a “relapse”. As suspected, i had lost belief in the drug, and it did not bring the immediate relief like it had every time previously. I was petrified. To me, this confirmed my worse fears. It had been a placebo all this time, and now, because I was sure it wasn’t going to work, it didn’t. I was a lost case. This created severe anxiety and panic. All I could think was that I had been on a placebo for 20 + years and now I had uncovered this fact, ADs would never work for me again. I was destined to suffer dibilitating anxiety and depression for the rest of my life. Things improved slightly after being back on 20mg for a few weeks. But I was still anxious and depressed, and the mood swings were unbareable. During this time, i had had a medical for my work which showed I had very high cholesterol (7.99 in European measures) and the doctor put me on Crestor. At the time, the cardiologist told me “this is not the first time I have seen somebody at the surgery who has unusually high cholesterol following a long period of exposure to SSRIs”. This was the first time I considered what the meds had been doing to me over the years. My dark moods seemed to get worse during this period of being on Crestor. My cholesterol dropped by 50% in this time, but I could now barely function. I did some research into the link between statins and depression and decided to quit the Crestor cold turkey. My moods improved somewhat (at least I could hold a conversation now). I had also started to suffer from eczema on my arms, forehead and legs (first time in my life). Furthermore, I suffered from a bout of Diverticulitis (the doctor told me the main risk factor was constipaiton) and also blood in the urine (which after every test, scan, x-ray known to man, a cause could not be found). Further research made me realise that not only could all of these problems be linked to seroxat, so could my unexplained depression and mood swings. I made the decision to come off seroxat for good. That was in October of last year. I found a new psychiatrist who was supportive of my decision and recognized the importance of taper. However, he didn’t believe that my problems could be caused by seroxat, and thought taper over a month was perfectly acceptable. By this time, I had been on seroxat 22 years. I decided to taper for longer. I immediately dropped to 10mg per day as this is something that I had down many times throughout the years without too many problems. I would get the usual brain zaps but nothing I couldn’t handle. As I started to reduce mg by mg (1mg per week) using liquid, I could actually feel my constant depressive mood lifting somewhat (perhaps only by 10%, but there was something ). This encouraged me to go on. I sped up towards the end to 1mg per week as I just wanted to be off it. I took my last dose in the second week of January. Since then, I have been going through withdrawal. The first couple of weeks were ok (brain zaps I have suffered since 1996 so they don’t scare me). My general depressive level definitely improved. The hardest part for me was (and still is) the rapid onset of change in mood. One minute I am fine, the next my mood crashes. During every crash, I immediately think “the only reason I feel better is the placebo effect. The depression and anxiety is going to come back and get me”. CBT has helped with this catestrophic thinking and the moods seem to only last for a few hours (rather than days or weeks as previously). Every week, as a whole, I am seeing huge improvements. I have cried a lot (and it feels great). I am starting to look forward to things again. The apathy has lifted by 75%. I had a few days of panic and GAD earlier on that would seem to come out of nowhere. I would just wake up and feel down and have fear. I also started to wake during the night in a panic. But I stayed with it. A few weeks ago, I started waking more often during the night. 3 or 4 times. That developed into full blown insomnia for a few days. Last night, I slept without waking once for the first time in a month. The anxiety is now 75% better. Two days ago, I feel I had my best day for years and years. I am generally excited but scared. Since January, I have dropped from 86kg to 78kg. My skin condition has totally cleared up. What if me feeling better is a coincidence? Or the placebo effect? I have read that it can feel you are through the withdrawal, only for it to come back even harder in the future. How will I cope with that!? Now that I’ve felt well, I don’t want to go back where I was. I currently live in Zurich, Switzerland. I can find almost no support here. No doctor, psychologists, psychiatrist or therapist seems to have any idea about withdrawal. They are all desperate to tell me I have relapsed. I so truly want to believe they are wrong, that this whole thing is a drug induced nightmare, and that I will continue to get better. However, the devil on my shoulder is still there. During any period of weakness, he reminds me that the recovery is all in my head and it’s only a matter of time before I relapse. And so here I am. Hoping to be part of a support group that can help me with my withdrawal and keep me believeing. Even more importantly, I want to help others.

I suffer from mental and emotional dullness after using depression and delirium medications, so that I used intermittently and for a short period of time, ecitalopram and arpiprazole. I do not feel the same as my previous feelings. Please help me from someone who has experience on how to get rid of these symptoms, especially the problem of concentration and forgetfulness. Thank you very much.

Hi everybody. I just signed up. I know enough about depression to fill a book. I think I'm finally putting everything together after dealing with this monster for over half of my life (I'm 51). It took a whole lot of research and my dad getting diagnosed with cancer to push me into into enough pain that I figured out I needed to talk to my depression to beat it. Once I got that ball rolling, things started making sense. Then, I discovered tardive dysphoria, or oppositional tolerance - which is basically your brain on psych drugs = a pathological syndrome. So, here I am. I felt like a zombie. I couldn't think straight. My memory was shot. My emotions were numb. Now I'm down 75 mg on my mood stabilizer. I feel better. I feel like a slowly waking zombie. I feel more stable than I did before I started tapering down. My moods were totally erratic. I couldn't predict a darn thing. I was blowing up a customers for no dang reason! So, I think I became depressed because I am a perfectionist. It is a family thing. Well, it is kind of a human thing. Problem is, if you have an idea or a plan and it doesn't work out, you get bummed. If you are a "highly sensitive person" you get really, really bummed. I was a really sensitive kid. I cried about everything. My feelings got hurt easily. I was introverted, shy, got bullied, the whole tortured soul thing. I was a really sweet kid who would do anything to make anyone happy. Problem was, I let people take advantage of me. Eventually that catches up with you. I was wondering if anyone had a similar background, who knows how to just..... let go of being perfect? Especially how to get something else, like Mom, to let go? I adore my mom...... but we're having a rough go of it right now. We are both still grieving the loss of my dad. I'm withdrawing, she knows that, and we are having a horrible time communicating. I asked her to go to counseling. On her own, or with me. My brother is actually a psychologist. Nope. She won't go. I'm going, of course. I've been in an out of therapy for the last 25 years. Mostly in therapy. So as usual, I get to figure this out. It took me a really long time to figure my crap out but I'm hoping maybe I finally did.

Just doing my intro post - I've been diagnosed as having treatment resistant depression and have accepted now that any beneficial effects of the venlafaxine I've been on since January 2009 have ended. I also have some pretty debilitating anxiety disorders - both a mix of genetics (several members of my family have depression too) and life experience of childhood trauma from an abusive parent and bullying throughout school. The doctor has started my tapering with a month of taking 300mg (normal dose) one day, then 225mg the next, then 300mg again, etc. I've been referred to a new psychiatrist so hopefully we can talk more about withdrawing safely. I've been pretty sad lately, so it's kind of a miracle I managed to get to the doctor at all. So far, my withdrawal symptoms have been limited to bad dreams and stomach/gut pains - I know from past idiocy where I forgot to get prescriptions filled in time that diarrhoea is one of the fun side effects of WD, so I think that may be next. Or the sweating. The worst bit, though, is the dreams. They're really intense and horrible, and trigger my anxiety. It's like the drugs are angry I'm coming off them, and know all my buttons to press... or maybe these thoughts are always there and the lack of drug is just exposing them. Anyway, I'm also seeing a psychotherapist who is lovely, so I have an outlet once a week, and my best friend knows I'm doing this, too, and has offered her support. Sending you all love, peace and puppies x

Seven/eight years ago, due to a peculiar set of circumstances, I ended up closing down the successful business I had founded. The loss of my business and financial resources lead to various problems in my life. About six years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My psychiatrist put me on: Citalopram 10 mg/day. Axal (Alpralozam) 0.5 mg The immediate effect was that the anxiety disappeared. The depression got better (or at least the symptoms did), however I never returned to life of extreme activity like I had lead previously. About two years ago my medications were changed. Citalopram 10 mg twice a day i.e. 20 mg Effexor Xr 75 mg/day Axal 0.5 mg day. In these years I have tried quitting cold at least 4 times. Each time I had to go back on medications. The only success story is that I gave up Axal, a benzo, cold. I had no WD effects from giving up Axal. Today I only take Citalopram 20 mg and Effexor 75 mg. I must add that I also have Epilepsy since I was 13 years old. For the past 37 years I have been taking anti-epileptic drugs. My current drugs for Epilepsy are: Tegral 400 mg. Lumark 750 mg. These I cannot get rid off for obvious reasons. My only wish is to get off Citalopram and Effexor XR. I totally believe these do not help me. My anxiety has gone away, but I have this permanent listlessness. I was once an over-ambitious person and today I am totally flat. I don’t feel much emotions, and the desire to achieve success is gone. Failures and losses don't bother me either. This is not what and who I was. I’ve read many of the subjects here, including the wonderfully detailed Taper section. I do need your advice as to how I should approach my taper. Should I quit Effexor XR first or Citalopram? Any other advice on muti-drug taper would be welcome. PS: My daughter gets married in 3 months. I am planning to start a very low 5-10% taper immediately. Any advice? Thanks again.

I have been suffering from this unique sleeping disorder. I dream whole night continuously and wake up exhausted every morning. Most of the people think it's any kind of psychological disorder even doctors just prescribe antidepressants and sleeping pills. Familly members are supportive but they could only give advice like wake early, do exercise. I nearly browsed the whole internet to get an ultimate cure for this problem but got nothing except "the change your routine"advice. There are many old forums where people discussed the similar problem but now they are closed without any conclusion. I have this problem from 2014 when I was doing my masters. During the final exams and due to other circumstances I felt some anxiety so went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me 1.Imipramine 2.Diazapam 3.Trifluoperazine 4.Nitrazepam of different brands. After few days my exams over so I stopped taking pills suddenly from a night.From that night till today I didn't get a single dreamless sleep every morning wake up exhausted.there are many nights I did not get sleep at all. Since then I have visited many Allopathic, Homeopathic and Ayurvedic doctors, have tried several of medicines and supplements but nothing helped me. And you guys obviously aware of side effects especially in the case of allopathy like day drowsiness and brain fog.I also got my blood tested nothing significant but a deficiency of Vitamine D so started taking Vitamins. Till now no appeared benefits. It's like living in a hell, could do many things in life but first wanna get rid of this curse.I even tried spiritual ways. If you could help me in any way I will be highly grateful to you.

Okay so I am currently 38 and I have been on anti-depressants since.. 18 maybe a bit younger. For the past 8 years (at least) I have been on effexor XR (Venlafaxine) on a dose between 150mg - 300mg - oin the higher end for about the past two years. Recently I started getting anxiety attacks, so the doctor put me on Mirtazopam but I read up on that and didn't like the sound of it. At around that time I saw glimpses of having a sex life in the future and the thing about Effexor is that while it hasn't decreased my libido, it takes me ages to orgasm, by which time all parties have somewhat lost interest. I have accepted that I may be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life, so I didn't consider just coming off them entirely. I spoke to my doctor and the result is that I am switching to Dothep (Duloxepine) 150 mg. But the process is complicated. 7 days on 150mg Effexor (down from 300) and 30 mg Mirtazopam. That is where I am currently. Then 7 days on 75 mg Effexor and 15 mg Mirtazopam. After that two days of nothing. Then start Dothep, 25mg, increasing by 25mg every two days. So far I have experienced: Giant, voracious hunger (this can’t be overstated, we are talking total compulsion). Agonising stomach cramps (admittedly after eating way too much) Bloating Heart palpitations/chest flutters Chest pain Really limited attention span Headache Dizziness/vertigo Limited tolerance for other people Anxiety Oddly though, my mood thus far has been pretty good with the exception of worrying about weight gain because I finally got to a weight I am happy with and I am not keen for that to change.

So I dont know where to start, so i guess ill just jump right into it straight away. I'm a 21 year old guy and im in my 3rd year of university. I was prescribed Citalopram 10mg when i was 20 years old for anxiety. I never really had any depression or any other mental problem, apart from the anxiety, which kind of affected my life a bit. Nothing i couldnt manage, but still decided to try out SSRI's to see whether they would help. My doctor prescribed me 10mg Citalopram and it took a while for it to work, about 4 months. Honestly, i felt great after that period of time, i was still kinda myself, but without the constant worry and shortness of breath when i was in social situations, especially presentations and job interviews. Then, something went wrong. The anxiety was still under control and I felt very confident, but my emotions started becoming numb. I no longer felt happiness the same way, like i could still tell that i was happy, but it was like kinda meh happy. I stopped enjoying things i used to love, like gym, running, video games, writing music, etc. I kinda became complacent with everything, but not in a good way. I stopped striving for success, because i constantly had this fake euphoric feeling like everything is always gonna be alright, so i dont need to worry about achieving anything. Anyway, I went to my doctor again and got prescribed 20mg Citalopram after using 10mg for 6 months. That dosage didnt really do anything apart from introduce procrastination and anger. I became very snappy and always delayed everything until the last minute. (I used to be the type to finish everything on day 1 and then relax). That apathy feeling of not wanting do anything also increased. I just simply stayed patient, hoping that my brain will adjust to the new dosage. I waited 3 months and although i felt ok-ish, something felt off. Even my friends told me that i kinda became boring. I used to be this euphoric, overly excited class clown and then months later became this sleepy depressed guy. Also, got this crazy brain fog which made me really incompetent at things i used to excel at. Used to be a human calculator back in school, then after 9 months on SSRI's could barely do 7x7. My memory was impaired, libido non existent, ED, speech slur, and a bunch of other BS i never had. The worst part was that i could no longer write music. Before, i would be able to come up with lyrics in my head no problem, whereas after SSRI's, my brain was just silent, its like there was no thought processes going on in my skull anymore. Went to my doctor again, and tried a different SSRI. I got prescribed 100mg Sertaline and used that for 2 months, which kinda worked better than citalopram but when it did start working, i started experiencing withdrawals from Citalopram, which kinda oversaturated the effectiveness of this new SSRI. So I went back to doctor again and got prescribed 10mg Citalopram again, since that had the best effect on me in the first 4-6 months i started using them. Long story short, I started withdrawing due to minimising my dosage, so i kind of reached this F it moment and said "im done". I did a quick taper of 3 weeks. 2 weeks of 5mg and 1 week of 2.5 mg and i just quit. To make it clear, I did 6 months of 10mg Cit, 3 months of 20mg Cit, 2 months of 100mg Sert, and finished off with 10mg Cit again. This is where my visit to hell happened. Im going to keep this short for those who are like me and cant be bothered reading long paragraphs, so ill give you my withdrawal timeline. First 3.5 months - pure hell. Brain impairment, which included the usual things you hear. Crazy bain dog (I felt completely stupid, like an inexperienced 8 year old in a 21 year old body) All grades went down. Went from the brightest student, to an absolute abomination of a human. The worst symptom was irritability. The amount of arguments and things i broke in a span of 3.5 months is just crazy. Fought a bunch of men who tried dating my mother. Also started losing a bit of hair, which fortunately started growing back, and pretty much every other symptom you see here, like depersenalisation, dissociation, atpathy, etc. Around the 4 month mark, i started getting the windows and waves pattern. So there were days where i felt ok-ish and then other days where it was back to the pure hell experienced in the first 3.5 months. This lasted to about the month 5 month mark. Around 5 months, still windows and waves but now the windows were longer and waves shorter. Still experienced some brain fog and irritability. Around 5.75 month mark, my old personality started coming back. Irritability started vanishing. More positive outlook on life came back. IQ started increasing back up, so i no longer felt a bit daft. Actually started enjoying things again. Now, im around the 6.5 month mark, maybe 6.75 and i feel even better. I havent experienced that withdrawal feeling (YET). There are days where i feel a bit odd, like not myself but they only last a day, maximum two. To conclude, I feel like the major withdrawal symptoms are gone, because i felt good for the past month. Not a single anger outburst, or days where i have brain fog. One thing that i still struggle with is a bit of ED and low libido, but i feel like that will improve over time. I still have that voice in my head telling me that another huge wave might hit me down the line, which scares me quite a bit, but im already so far into this recovery process that i dont really give a damn. I feel like i have another 10-15% left to recover, but honeslty this will do, compared to what i've went through. Anyway, i hope this encourages some people, and helps you get through this atrocious mental state, because i feel like if the withdrawals lasted any longer, i doubt i'd still be here honeslty. I just wanted to share this for anyone losing hope like i did, when i watched a bunch of YouTube vids of people saying how their withdrawals were over after like a month, and then there was me just dying 5 months later. Ps. Ignore the horrible grammar, i was typing this super fast.

Hi everyone, To make a short story, I have been on Effexor for a very short period. I had to stop it because of invalidating side effects. 48h after the last pills I have developed new effects, including the fact that I cant see straight, it is very difficult for me to read, my eyes burn, sting and twitch because they are so dry. I also have a bunch of other problems that comes and go. As I have problem reading, I would like to know if anyone would want to talk maybe on skype about their experience. It is been 3 months since and my family and friends are getting tired of earring me complain about it and sometimes I am not even sure they believe me. I would also like to know if anyone have official documentation about those long term side effects. I have my own business and I am loosing a lot of money every month. I want to build a lawsuit but every doctor I have seen says it is IMPOSSIBLE that my new health condition is related with the use of Effexor. But I only took it for 5 days and was very sick on the day after I stopped and woke up with eyes issues 48h hours after the last pill. Everything I have built in my life has crumble within 1 week! I went to see an eye doctor and I have nothing else then chronic dry eyes witch could explain partly my bad sight but there is no cure for that.

I have been here before. I had my first manic episode after a steroid psychosis while withdrawing from Zoloft. After going off meds I had one again about a year later. I was medicated but always following an episode comes a great depression, a great worry about life and a disappearance of personality. Has anyone experienced this? I was manic and had to be medicated. I have a energy healer that works with me and says for now I must be on them. Its the path. I am totally unstable. But I would love some support from others that have gone through this pattern. I feel so alone.

36year old man. Married, no kids. I've been on SSRIs for 15 years now. I've been tapering off them for 5 years. Effexor was what I took for depression, anxiety. From 2004-2014 I gradually took more and more until I got to a point where I couldn't be prescribed a higher dose (can't remember specific, will ask doctor). The plan was to get onto a different ssri, but I had to taper down to a lower dose before I could bridge with prozac. The withdrawal was awful and the more I learned about psychotropic drugs the more I wanted off completely. I have strong feelings of worthlessness and shame. I'm embarrassed to look anyone in the eye. I've exercised, meditated, changed my diet, take supplements, see a therapist, i've established a support network, cbt, affirmations, rigid self care program. Still hate myself. Still get suicidal thoughts. I want to try life with no antidepressants. Maybe that's it. I think it's actually the drugs that are keeping my depression from lifting. I hope. I've been aware of the forum for years and finally decided to post. I feel alone in this withdrawal from time to time. I haven't been to a support group in months. My phone never rings and I like it that way. I want to hide from everyone. I don't know anyone else quitting their meds. Feels like I'm losing my identity and I just don't care enough to build it back.

Dear community, I was recommended this forum after seeking advice for my current situation on Reddit. The last four month have been the hardest so far in my life. I took Przac for about 10,5 years (from when I was 16 to when I was 27 years old) until I stopped taking it in December 2020. At that point I was on 10 mg Prozac for about a year (20 mg previously) and my psychologist encouraged me to try stopping it for good. It was my wish to stop too as I had develop restless-leg-syndrome over the past yars and suspected it might be connected to Prozac. I took Prozac for my anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive thinking. I stopped taking Prozac on christmas eve 2021. I didnt taper as 10 mg is already the lowest dose in my country and my therapist didnt think it was necessary. For two weeks I was fine, then the former emntioned symptomes came back with a force I did not expect. My biggest fear is becoming psycotic (which I never have so far) but this fear together with cpompulsive thought, constant panic attacks and depression consumed me. After just 3 weeks I decided to take Prozac again. What then happened Id have never expected: My body just wasnt having it anymore, I got more and more nauses every day I took Prozac (10 mg) and after 2 weeks I had to stop because I was puking almost every day. I then didnt take Prozac for 4,5 weeks. By then I was close to getting myself hospitalized: The fear of getting psychotic was nonstop and compulsive and racing thoughts where torturing me all day. I had to try to take Prozac again. Immediately the nausea kicked in and after talking to my psychiatrist she perscribed me Zoloft. I tried that for just 5 or 6 days and felt so abd I stopped it and then took Prozac again. THis time the nausea was ok, I took it for 2 weeks, started to feel better, but suddenly the restless-leg-syndrome came back, I stopped taking Prozac for 3 days, then tried to take it again but started puking again and got such a bad headache I thought Id die. So I stopped again and didnt take it for 8 days now. I know I messed up. I can hardly imagine the harm I did to my body and brain by doing this stop-and-go chaos. I was writing on my thesis and had a lot of stress in my life (aside from the medication-problems). Now I feel worse than ever. I am in constant fear of getting psychotic, im neauses every day, have constant panic-attacks, my thoughts are a total chaos, random and chaotic. I dont know what to do. Will it get better? Am I getting psychotic because of what I did to my body (after 10 years of beaing afraid of this exact thing)? Should I take Prozac again, no matter the nausea and the restless-legs? I know there is probably no answere to all my questions. But I am thankfull for every word, every reply, just the idea that I am not alone in this. Thank you for taking the time and reading this. This is my Prozac journey so far: Fluoxetin (10-20 Mg): 2010 - 2020 No Med: 25.12.2020 - 17.01.2021 Fluoxetin (10Mg): 18.01.2021 - 31. 01.2021 No Med: 01.02.2021 - 06.03.2021 Fluoxetin (10 Mg): 07.03.2021 - 08.03.2021 No Med.: 09.03.2021 - 12.03.2021 Sertralin (12,5 Mg): 13.03.2021 - 15.03.2021 Sertralin (25 Mg): 16.03.2021 - 17.03.2021 Fluoxetin (10 Mg): 20.03.2021 – 08.04.2021 No Med: 09.04.2021 – 11.94.2021 Fluoxetin: 12.04.2021 – 14.04.2021 No Med: Since 15.04.2021

I've been on Paroxetine 20 mg daily for the last 5 years. I've developed a tolerance for my dosage for Paroxetine. I'm currently very depressed and been like this for the past 2 years. I want to start tapering off, with the 10 % method. My question: is it advisable to start the process with depressive symtomps? I know if I ask this question to any doctor they will only change my prescription or add a new drug, but I really want to start tapering the medication. 2016- currently 20 mg Paroxetine

Having successfully, after many years of extraordinary struggle, come off Klonipin, I mistakenly assumed that tapering venlafaxine/Effexor would be a relatively mild and tolerable experience. Instead, it has been horrific. My psychopharmacologist is a decent person, but is not only resistant to the reality of this withdrawal - he actively presumes that withdrawal symptoms reflect recurrence, which I know to be incorrect. I know what “my” anxiety and depression feel like, and I know what withdrawal feels like. This is withdrawal, and it’s brutal. I have four kids and a husband and I am deeply reluctant to put them through another round of what I went through with Klonipin. I am frightened and desperate. Plan to go back up from the 37.5 I’m down to now and taper from 75 more slowly but need support. I am a clinician and a writer with familiarity with and access to medical journals ans current relevant research - I knew that Effexor had a substantial withdrawal profile, which is why I think I avoided tapering foe so long. But early last May, I woke up with idiopathic, unilateral tinnitus which has never for one moment subsided since then, and I discovered some clinical evidence suggesting a link between SSRI’s and tinnitus. That was the impetus foe finally making the attempt. The first time, I failed. The withdrawal was too overwhelming and I was contending with the COVID crisis here in NYC. This time, I was fine dropping from 112.5 to 75mgs, but after three weeks at 75, I went down to 37.5 and it has been hell. I imagine I need to taper hyperbolically, reducing the doses by smaller increments, by percentage, as I go down, in order to stop these unbearable withdrawal symptoms. But I need support in determining how often to drop by an increment, and how large or small those increments should be. I am grateful for any help you can provide. Thank you.

Hi folks, Just looking for a bit of advice. I'd been on Prozac, 25mg a day, for 9 months, for depression and wanted to come off them. I was advised by my doctor to take a 25mg tablet on alternating days for 1 month and then stop completely. I did this and have now been off for 4 weeks. Asides from some rather severe depression symptoms my main withdrawal issue has been PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder), something which I suffered with 2 years ago. What I'm wondering is, does this mean I tapered off too quickly? I should also mention I have M.E. and tend to respond strongly to drugs. Is the best plan of action to just ride this out and hope the symptoms go or to go back on the Prozac and taper off again much slower? (my doctor did tell me if I go back on the Prozac I'd have to stay on for 2 years but I really don't want to do that.) Any advice appreciated, Thanks

Hey there! So I'm now 19 and my life has been hell for over a year now. I have a bit of a history with antidepressants. I started Zoloft at age 12 and ended up quitting after a year or so, no issues (below is my med list after starting Zoloft again at age 14). For 3 years until completely stopping drugs, I was on Lexapro, propranolol, and gabapentin. These drugs were used for depression and migraines. Through things like therapy, I was able to overcome depression and mild-to-moderate anxiety. I was tired of being medicated and wanted off. Unfortunately, my GP took me off of things wayyyy too fast. I went from 20mg of Lexapro to none in the span of 4 weeks (subtracting 5mg per week). I then got off the other two in four weeks each. I experienced intense withdrawals from these but figured it was just part of the process. One of these symptoms was anxiety, panic attacks, and hot flashes/sweating. After a few weeks of WDs, things seemed pretty good. However, I quickly began getting panic attacks and experienced intense anxiety--especially physical symptoms such as hot flashes, pounding heartbeat, etc. Anxiety had always been a mental thing for me, but now it's extremely physical. I got back on all the original drugs after 6 months off them. But now, even almost a year later, I'm still experiencing intense physical symptoms (I hate hot flashes). Getting back on the meds helped, but I'm not the confident person I used to be. I've been homebound and an anxious/depressed wreck for the past year. It's almost as if those withdrawals unlocked something in me. Now I don't know what to do. Is it possible for this to happen? Did I just develop anxiety or are these longterm withdrawal effects that are there even with reinstating? I'm sorry it's a lot to read, but I'm feeling very lost right now and don't know what to do or what caused this to happen. Life was so good and it depresses me to see the state that I'm now in. I wasted my entire 18th year of life being anxious beyond belief. Thanks so much. Starting Started Zoloft 100mg October 2014 (age 14), 50mg -> 100mg Switched from Zoloft 100mg to Lexapro 10mg May 2017 (age 15) Bumped up to Lexapro 20mg June 2017 (age 15) Started Gabapentin 1600mg/day October 2017 (age 15) Started Propranolol 40mg/day May 2018 (age 16) Stopping Stopped Lexapro 20mg October 2019 (age 17), tapered down 5mg/week until stopped completely Stopped Propranolol 40mg/day October 2019 (age 17), tapered down 10mg/week until stopped completely Stopped Gabapentin 1600mg/day November 2019 (age 18), tapered 400mg/week until stopped completely Drug free for 6 months Starting Again Started Lexapro 20mg May 2020 (age 18), 10mg -> 20mg Started Propranolol ER 120mg June 2020 (age 18), 60mg -> 80mg -> 120mg Started Gabapentin 1600mg/day July 2020 (age 18) Started Buspirone 60mg/day November 2020 (age 19)

I am 54 years old, and experienced my first manic episode, starting 1st November of last year, requiring a month of involuntary hospitalisation starting 14th November brought on by numerous stressors. I was on Lithium and Haloperidol, from the 15th Nov, then ±900mg Lithium and 0.5mg Risperidone from the 15th Jan . I started tapering the Risperidone from the Feb 16th. My last dose was 0.125mg on 15 March. How long will the withdrawal symptoms last? The reason why I'm asking is I'd also like to know if I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms or bipolar depression? The intense depressive feelings arrive and leave suddenly and unexpectedly, sometimes lasting a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, after which I feel mildly depressed again, which is a general state. I am able to be lifted, for example by gardening, good cooking, humour etc, during this general milder state. I have general anxiety about several factors which triggered the original mania, namely money (increased now, due to difficulty working), accommodation for my and my spouse's ageing parents who are both difficult to work with, those being by far the most major among other stressors. I have found that very carefully-considered and rare - perhaps twice a week - use of Diazepam can also return me to this state from the more intense state. I intended to start tapering the Lithium once I feel more stable and know myself better after this current tapering. I apologise if this has been covered before, but I find reading and writing about my condition extremely stress inducing, which is to say getting to this point has not been easy. I am eternally grateful in advance for the help.

Hello, new member here, hoping to find some wisdom and support in my post medicated life! My medication history in a nutshell: I have been on antidepressants around 15 years, most of them lived on a combination of progressive Citalopram doses (10-40 mg), Bupropion 150XR, and Lorazepam 0.5 mg for occasional anxiety management. Began taper 6-1-2020 of Citalopram, completed 8-15-2020. Went off Bupropion 10-1-2020, did not taper due to extended release and significantly lower doses not readily available. Lorazepam was not used frequently enough to require and sort of cessation plan. The Citalopram taper was rough, as usual, something I tried and failed many, many, years ago. However, I did not get brain zaps this time, I think it was due to the effect of the Bupropion, which is good as a support drug for tapering (i.e. it is used to help quit smoking). The only current medication I am taking is a 24 hour antihistamine, Zyrtec 10 mg one time a day, before bed. Why taper off, why now? I am currently unemployed, thanks to COVID, so have some time to ride this thing out and see if I can get healthy and free of the medications. I had been dealing with a lot of side effects of the drugs, kind of a laundry list of the normal side effects for these drugs, but here is a list of the primary ones I was dealing with. Kind of difficult to nail this all down, been on this stuff a LONG time. Agitation/Irritability Decrease in sexual desire or ability GI problems, constipation, semen leakage during bowel movements Dry mouth/increased thirst increase in the frequency of urination lack of emotion Tiredness/Drowsiness/lethargy/Yawning Restlessness, twitching. Weight gain Why am I here? I am off of the meds, but have dealt with a fair bit of discontinuation syndrome. Have any of you found anything that helps you get through the next few months/years after discontinuation? I am not super big on supplements, but open to logical ideas based in science or real life experience. I have a relative who takes a handful of expensive supplements daily, I am not going down that route as I don't believe in flushing expensive pee down the toilet. I currently take NOTHING other than the allergy pill. No vitamins, no caffeine, little to no alcohol, no nicotine, etc. My primary issues at present are that I am sleeping a lot, lack ambition and energy to do things even though I have the desire to work or take on projects. I do have some anxiety presently, very manageable at home but more difficult in a work environment--it is situational. Once I start on something, and I get engaged in it, I have no problem staying focused and completing it. The daily grind of just being alive and present is difficult, I have occasional, mild, suicidal thoughts such as questioning if it is all worth the effort. That said, I have never attempted suicide and would say I am at very low risk, but my mind can wander there or identify with musicians or artists who address the subject (i.e. 13 Reasons Why). What next? I have an appointment with my doctor in a few days, the first since I completed the taper, I talked it all through with her before the taper, but it went so well that I have not had intermediate appointments. Part of the reason for not having more appointments, during my taper, was the feeling that there really is nothing she can do to make it any better. The taper also went very well, in my opinion. I still feel that the doctors are limited in what support they can give you, other than going back on the meds, what are my options in seeing an MD? Some of my side effects are getting much better now, for example I noticed my dry mouth issues are gone and I have been more regular as far at GI issues!

I'll try to keep this kind of short. I've finally decided to post an intro today after reading posts on this site for a few years now which has helped a lot with understanding what's going on since most doctors just told me my SSRI discontinuation/withdrawal symptoms-which were unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and physically and emotionally worse than I'd ever felt-were a return of my depression & anxiety or possibly a bipolar disorder according to one doctor. I knew for a fact that it was not my original anxiety & depression, but I had no idea what was happening in the beginning or how to explain it. I had social anxiety, depression, & general anxiety since age 12 and was not allowed to drive/take the bus/go out or do much by myself other than going to school (because everything was too dangerous) by controlling, religious parents with their own high anxiety and agoraphobia. I was never allowed to receive counseling for these issues & when I went off to college, it was an extremely difficult struggle going from not being allowed to do almost anything to suddenly being responsible for figuring everything out on my own. I was also not great with time management skills & knowing how to plan ahead. (I actually relate to a lot of symptoms of ADD & Asperger's, which both greatly affect social skills & ability to get through college and would explain a lot of problems I've had. I have learned more about them in the past year, but can't afford to get diagnosed right now so I've just been looking at support groups for days when my nausea is lessened.) I felt overwhelmed all the time and all my negative thoughts worsened severely. I didn't see the free counselor at college during this time either because I was embarrassed about everything and about asking for help. I finally decided I wanted to try to make a change and try counseling the summer after sophomore year of college at age 20 and was at rock bottom, desperate to not feel depressed. I knew someone who said their antidepressant helped them, so I asked a doctor for medicine and they prescribed sertraline. After taking the first pill, I had a surge of anxiety and racing thoughts that made it impossible to concentrate. Within the first couple days on 25 mg of sertraline, I was gagging and dry heaving over and over for at least 20 minutes as soon as I ate anything. I would also throw up multiple times in a short timespan after one snack or meal. I called my Dr & was told to skip a dose and then change the time I took the dose from morning to night. After a week of this (dry heaving & vomiting all meals) on 25 mg, and another call to the doctor, I was told that digestive issues are a possible starting symptom and to increase to 50 mg. As soon as I increased, the gagging & vomiting increased even more. After 6 days of this, I called the doctor again and was told I could stop taking it altogether since it had been such a short amount of time on it. And to come in for a different medicine Rx after the weekend. The very first day that I didn't take the sertraline, I felt the worst nausea I had ever felt in my entire life. I ended up asking a friend to drive me to the ER because I felt so sick. I told the Dr how I had just stopped sertraline. The doctor said that my pupils were dilated and my reflexes were overactive. Then, he listed off illegal drugs & asked if I had taken those. (No, I've never tried any drug before). He said "You need to tell me what else is going on because the antidepressant couldn't have caused this." And I said "I don't know" and started crying. I do know that people in my family are highly sensitive to medicines and have since found out I have a gene that causes me to metabolize slowly so things build up for longer in my system. Anyway, the Dr left the room and at one point I was given Ativan in an IV by the nurse which did ease the nausea. When the Dr came back, he told me I had SSRI discontinuation syndrome, (he didn't explain what that meant), that I could never try another SSRI, and gave me a Rx for a small bottle of Ativan. My mom said he mentioned something on the phone to her about serotonin syndrome which dilated pupils and overactive reflexes are symptoms of, but I don't remember him saying anything about it directly to me. He also mentioned reinstating a small amount might help but my mom didn't pass this on to me until much later because she didn't want me to take it. After that, I experienced: -more dry heaving which gradually lessened in frequency -random times of vomiting after eating and after exercising when I wasn't sick & the food wasn't bad (or sometimes nothing was left to vomit & only a small amount would come up) -continuing debilitating nausea & dizziness -olfactory hallucination (putrid smell that wouldn't go away, would intensify around strong scents such as soap & car exhaust) -uncontrollable crying at every tiny thing (neuro-emotion, not regular sadness) -uncontrollable rage (neuro-emotion) -intrusive thoughts & floods of bad memories which I "word vomited" in texts to my sisters -didn't want to be around people who I associated with bad memories because it would greatly intensify neuro-anxiety. (I'd guess the feeling is similar to what people mean who talk about experiencing bad drug trips and how it's important to be with people you trust) -nightmares -paranoia/suspicion/distrust (felt like my mom & sister were not really my mom and sister even though logically, I knew it was them. Things feel creepy & sinister -almost like a horror movie sometimes. A post I read here compared the sinister feeling to a bad LSD trip. I have never tried LSD, but I understood what they meant & is the closest way I found to describe it. -cognitive fog (thinking, processing speed, & reaction time is noticeably slower) (I was a slow thinker/processor before, but it feels like I have brain damage now) -memory problems (I was somewhat forgetful before, but am even more so now) -depersonalization ("it feels like the medicine changed who I am & I don't have an identity/sense of self which I still hadn't fully formed before sertraline) -derealization (feel emotionally disconnected & distant from people/atmosphere. I know things are real, but they don't feel real. Sometimes it feels like consequences won't matter or there is no sense of helpful anxiety even in a potentially dangerous situation. Logically, I know they do matter and still want to do the right thing) -anhedonia/apathy/emotionally numb (don't care about things or have the same amount of passion for interests or feel empathy for other people's emotions or feel spiritual even though I had some spiritual beliefs before. Couldn't feel hopeful about anything/future or feel love towards or from anyone. These emotions have slowly returned to a certain degree since then & levels of ability to feel them have changed at different courses of time) -blurred/cloudy vision (when DR was at most intense, vision was different. Hard to explain) -eye floaters ( random black specks & lines) Didn't notice these until a year after DC-ing -constant yawning/air hunger -stomach/digestion issues -burning, tingling, itching, numbness, redness in feet -brain zaps/"crackles" (sometimes annoying, sometimes painful, but my most tolerable symptom) -head pressure/tightness, feels like head is being squeezed -headaches There was also a period of 6 months where I thought certain symptoms were over and after that period, the dizziness returned. Those are most of the symptoms I've experienced in the past approx 3.5 years. They're not in order. I'm 24 now. A few have gone away for the most part (vomiting, olfactory hallucination, yawning) and most are less intense. I have really improved a lot, I don't mean to sound overly negative. But, I still have the issues I went on the SSRI for & I have trouble accepting where I am & worrying about where to go from here & the uncertainty of how long this lasts because it has put lots of areas of my life on hold (I wasn't able to go back to college, I hope to someday) and ended up making things harder to deal with when I was told it would make them easier. (BTW, I am now seeing a counselor). I don't understand why people say SSRI's are not technically drugs when they have this much of an effect on your mind, mood, & perceptions. Sorry if I have over shared, I might need to post a shorter version of this at some point that's easier to read. And I'm still figuring out the layout of the website & where to post about certain questions & topics. I just know that sometimes other people's explanations made me feel better because I had some understanding of what was happening & words to describe feelings I'd never had before and didn't know how to explain. I've also had other stress & health issues and a few (physical health) medicines that have affected my withdrawal progress, but I guess that's a topic for a separate forum. Any advice, similar experiences, recommendations, tips for using the site, or insight into what happened to my brain is appreciated if anyone feels so inclined :)