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Hi, I am new here and terrified. Was prescribed low dosage TCAs for 2.5 years. Nortriptyline 20-30 mg from May 2012 - Dec 2013. Then desipramine from Jan 2014 - October 2014. In October, my neck and tongue started twitching. I'd been having muscle tremors since about May, but my stupid doctor couldn't ever tell me what it was. I finally looked at the side effects of the desipramine and put two and two together and quickly tapered down. I was told that was okay since I was on such low dose. Was actually told it would have been okay to abruptly stop since the dosage was low. In hindsight, I now suspect that some muscle stuff I noticed on nortriptyline were actually side effects. Now it looks like I have tardive dyskenisia, which is apparently rare from TCAs. Please, will I recover? Has anybody on here recovered from TCA-induced TD? I see that people have recovered from TD from other classes of meds. Looking for hope about my situation. It is apparently so rare with TCAs that I can't find info and I want a full recovery. Please note: meds were prescribed for pain, not mental health.

I have been taking Venlafaxine at 75mg per day for about 6 years. The side effects were becoming too annoying to contiune - mainly flat, blunt unemotional mood, drowsineess during the day (i would fall asleep at my desk whilst working (at home)) and frequent urination, especially at night, which interrupted sleep too much. I have successfully tappered off venlafaxine once before after about 10 months treatment. I did it over 9 months without any issues. Buoyed by that success, i thought i could do it again and embarked on a taper using broken pills and liquid preparations prescribed by my doctor on the UK NHS. I only took 4 months this time which wasnt that sensible , as i now know. The taper ended 5 weeks ago today (24/11/17). Since then i have experienced many and varied discontinuation symptoms both physical and emotional: - physical - nausea, diarrhea, flatulence, dizziness and swimmy feeling in the head; mild visual disturbances; mild but constant headache; mild tingling sensation in the face - emotional - depression, anxiety like i've never experiened before for no aparent reason, irritability, poor concentration; mood swings over a very short time period for no apparent reason etc The semotional symptoms come and go. I will have one or two good days followed by 2-4 days of feeling depresed, anxious, etc On the up side i do feel like im experiencing real emotions like i havent felt for year I have mananegd to control some of the symptoms with supplements such as tryptophan. i also take fish oil, B vits, vitamin C and D I exercise a lot - run 5-6 km per day and try very hard to eat well; lots of fruit and vegetables etc Any suggestions for help would be gratefully received!

Hi all, I am in a pretty decent place in life, and I have a few weeks with very few ”responsibilities”... I’m thinking it’s the perfect time to finally try to get myself off of my psychotropic of choice, Amitriptyline 100mg 1xday. Ive attempted to get off it before and made it a few weeks before feeling overwhelmed and going back to the pills. I would love some support and a place to vent throughout this process. Looking forward to meeting all of you.

Hello, I was diagnosed with fibro in 1994. I was just diagnosed by a rheumatologist with CSS - central sensitivity syndrome. A central nervous system disease/disorder that makes people hypersensitive to almost everything. Here are two studies that might be of interest: Fibromyalgia and Overlapping Disorders: The Unifying Concept of Central Sensitivity Syndromes by Muhammad B Yunus, MD -also: clinical review and education- JAMA April 16, 2014 volume 311, number 15 - Fibromyalgia A Clinical Review by Daniel J Clauw, MD. These articles show how the central nervous system plays a huge role in why so many of us have fibromyalgia CFS/ME, MCS-Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, etc. This explains why I've had so much trouble with antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and withdrawals, along with so many other physical and emotional symptoms

Hi, I'm new to this forum, but I have been reading a lot of the posts about tapering off of Effexor XR and counting beads, etc. I ordered a digital scale to weigh out the contents of the extended release. Each 75mg capsule's contents weigh 190mg. I confirmed this by weighing multiple capsules. This is because the actual medicine is in a time-released coating which adds to the weight of the beads. I decided to do a 5mg reduction per week, which is equal to approximately 12.66mg by weight of Effexor granules (emptied from the capsule). Counting beads is useless because the individual beads vary in weight, therefore some 75mg capsules may contain more, some less, but they will all weigh 190mg. Here's what my taper will look like: Current prescribed dose x 18 years - Effexor XR 75mg daily Week 1: 70mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (70 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 178mg by weight on my scale) Week 2: 65mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (65 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 165mg by weight) Week 3: 60mg Effexor XR dialy for 7 days (60 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 153mg by weight) Week 4: 55mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (55 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 140mg by weight) Week 5: 50mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (50 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 128mg by weight) Week 6: 45mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (45 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 115mg by weight) Week 7: 40mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (40 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 103mg by weight) Week 8: 35mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (35 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 90mg by weight) Week 9: 30mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (30 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 78mg by weight) Week 10: 25mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (25 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 65mg by weight) Week 11: 20mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (20 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 53mg by weight) Week 12: 15mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (15 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 40mg by weight) Week 13: 10mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (10 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 28mg by weight) Week 14: 5mg Effexor XR daily for 7 days (5 milliequivalents of Effexor XR = 15mg by weight) Note: There is some rounding error because 5mg of Effexor XR beads weigh approx 12.66mg I know some have done it faster, and some slower. I have tried unsuccessfully to get off of this medication several times and could not endure the terrible withdrawal symptoms, even with a Prozac bridge. I've proposed this taper to my physician so we can be onboard with this together. I will update with how it goes!

I was on citalopram (generic for celexa) for about 4 years along with Wellbutrin. I was doing awesome until I started to get some awful side effects from the medications- mainly seeing spots and stars and just feeling off and not myself. I decided to just get everything out of my system. I went off Wellbutrin and felt fine and stayed on the citalopram for another few months. I was planning my wedding so I decided to stay on that one. After my honeymoon I decided to go off citalopram for good. I tapered my dosage based on what my doctor recommended. After 3 weeks of tapering I was finally free. One week later the dizziness started. I began to feel dizzy, as if I was rocking on a boat. Swaying, lightheaded, and felt like I was floating in the clouds. It totally sucked. I removed caffeine from my diet and all other foods (sometimes alcohol makes it better, sometimes worse) that triggered the dizziness. I noticed the dizziness was more severe after I ate. As weeks went on, I started to slowly feel better. The dizziness became less and less intense and I was starting to feel like myself again. I thought I was turning the corner! Last weekend I went to NYC and it all came back again. I came home from my trip dizzy as ever and full of anxiety. I started thinking crazy thoughts that I don't normally think about. I feel worse than I did when this originally started. I don't know why this just won't go away. I just want this to end. I want my normal life back. I joined the forum to see if anyone else can relate to this. I feel so lost and anyone I tell thinks I'm nuts or tells me to go to the Dr which has been worthless! I got blood work up and everything came back normal. It's been 8 weeks and I feel so lost and helpless. When will this go away? Can anyone relate? Thanks so much for reading this!

I've never joined a forum before but I am not sure where else to turn. I am 26 years old and feel like I have dementia. I can barely remember things, skills that I have possessed for years seem foreign to me, I can barely concentrate at work and I can't read a book / retain information to save my life. I wasn't always like this but it seems like whenever I build up a tolerance to whatever meds I am on or try to get off of them completely this is what happens to my brain. I was once off of antidepressants for 9 months about 2 years ago and experienced the same thing. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and got back on. This time I have been off for 5 months and am struggling deeply. I am wondering if my brain is irreversibly damaged by these drugs and if I'll ever be the same. I wish I had never started down this path. The first 3 years of being on meds were great and then I built up a tolerance. Since then it's been a good year here, 2 bad years there, that kind of pattern until now. I have vowed never to go back to antidepressants that clearly have altered the chemistry of my brain. I don't know how to function without them. I get headaches regularly from stress and can barely function at work. I am not living with my parents anymore so taking too much time off work isn't really an option. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced similar symptoms and more so recovery from these symptoms post antidepressants. Maybe it takes over a year, maybe longer? Is there more I can be doing? Engaging in activities that I enjoy and exercising helps my mood but not these strange dementia symptoms. I have an appointment with a Neurologist in about 2 1/2 months. Not really sure what else I can be doing until then. Not sure if there is more that could be done to speed up this healing process or give me the ability to focus better. Any feedback would be much appreciated.

Hi my screen name is Anti-extreme. I wish I could help others who are dealing with anti-depressants. However I am really only able to share insight on the disastrous consequences a person can experience when taking anti-depressants. I had written a blog on the subject, and is easily found by searching, "Geisinger cruelty Elavil," and you will find the blog, "Cruelty in Medicine" My intent with the blog is show that patients must be very careful when dealing with practitioners. That also treads on the issue of ethics in medicine and I am still researching the ethics issue. Is it ethical for doctor to immediately stop a person cold turkey based on rumor alone? Is it ethical for a doctor to receive information about patients and the situation strongly shows that the patient never gave that kind of consent to have that kind of information given? In my view there is indication that the clinic received multiple "non-consent" phone calls regarding their patients (I did not list all of the indicators in my blog). Some anti-depressants can be very hard to get off of. Amitriptyline / Elavil is one of those and I would never recommend it to anyone and apparently the medication becomes less effective over time. For most who take the medication, "Its lights out," putting most people to sleep, but then your body isn't going to sleep on its own. After getting off that medicine, a neurologist later prescribed it, only stating its a non-narcotic medication. After realizing it was Amitriptyline, I immediately said, "no thank you". Obviously the issue is wide spread as this forum is entitled, "Surviving Antidepressants."

Hello All- Thank you in advance for any tips or support you can provide. I found this forum by accident, and am really struggling. By way of introduction: I am currently 27 years old, and was misdiagnosed in my adolescent years, sending me into a dreadful spiral of reliance on antidepressants and psychoactive drugs for over 10 years. About two years ago I found a wonderful doctor who saw that these were unnecessary and has been guiding me through the process of tapering off of ALL Medication. I have already been able to completely go off of Lamictal (originally 300mg), though it took me a year, and am now in the final stages of tapering off of 100mg Pristiq (has been an ongoing process since this past summer 2015). As of yesterday, I was taking (roughly since they're tough to cut without crumbling) 6 mg of Pristiq and since I cannot really cut them any smaller, today is Day 1 of being at 0 dosage. My doctor was transparent with me in that this may get messy, and it is difficult to predict how anyone will react to this final cut. All along with the cuts I have experienced: extreme anxiety (subsides as my body adjusts) Depersonalization or feeling totally light-headed and "stupid" Headaches Terrible stomach upset I am so fearful of this last cut because I know it will be the worst....yet I know that the positives of my doing so will outweigh whatever costs I need to incur to get there. Does anyone have any insight for folks who have been on high doses of Pristiq for 8+ years and may give me an idea of what to expect? I feel that's the worst part- not knowing what to expect. Many of these posts involve folks who have been on for just a few years, so I am curious as to how the long-term dependence will manifest itself for a case like mine. I am grateful for any words of wisdom you can provide. Thank you!! KimT1717

Howdy folks! I've been on cymbalta for a little over a year now, and out of the list of antidepressants I've taken (prozac, zoloft, wellbutrin, amitriptyline, trazodone) it's been the most successful at treating both my anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, it's also been incredibly successful at making me immune to this thing called "falling asleep" and has jacked up my blood pressure to heights of hilarity that are not countered by increasing my blood pressure medication. Oh yeah, and weight gain. Ugh. I first thought I'd go cold turkey, as I had with most of my previous antidepressants, and just suffer through it. Woah, was that a learning experience! Two days of trying to survive that had me back on my dose in no time. I met with my psychiatrist and discussed it all in detail, and he's having me taper down 20mg at a time per month. I started at 60mg, so I'm at 40mg right now. I felt like I was doing kinda alright, but one week in and I'm miserable. My emotions are all over the place, from waking up bawling like someone just passed away to feeling like I'm "Joe Cool". I'm nauseas all the time, sometimes to the point of wanting to throw up. My head feels like a constant migraine, I'm exhausted all the time, and best of all, I have the most vivid slasher horror movie nightmares each and every night. Joy! I can't wait to find out what dropping to 20mg feels like next month! On the plus side, I'm sleeping more than 2 hours a night and my blood pressure has dropped over 40 points! Unreal...

OKAY. Where to begin. I had post partum depression after my baby girl was born. I remember being in the kitchen and she was crying (she cried A LOT due to colic and I was stressed) and up popped an intrusive thought. Well this ont op of my anxiety and all was NOT a good combination. It scared me so bad and I literally got hysterical and called my mom and had to her come to my house. Later I went to my OB-GYN and she literally told me it was PMS and it was OK. So I went to get another opinion. By the time I had seen the second doctor, I was so anxious and upset that I was literrally talking in circles and talkign very fast. (Which by the way I did this all my life- I think I just let this doc sway me) So she says i'm 'Bi-Polar' and sends me home with Seroquel. I remember taking it and being so out of it that I literally slept for 3 days straight. I woke up long enough to try to drink something and use the bathroom. It knocked me on my butt. I woke up on the 3rd day and felt horrible. I remember that my heart was racing and yet I was sleeping, so I called the 'doc' and she said that I was just dehydrated and to drink a huge glass of water and lie back down. I did this and after about an hour, I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. My mom said she would go with me to the doctors office so I could speak with her. I drove (YES OMG! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!) to my doctors office with my mom and 2 kids and waited in the office. After 5 minutes, I walked up to the window and told the nurse I wasn't feeling well and when could I be seen, she said I was a walk-in and it would be a bit. Well I was lsitening to my body and decided to walk down to the Emergency Room. {it was attached to the same building} When I got into the ER, I said that I just wanted someone to check my heart rate because I felt funny. They took me back and checked it and my heart rate was 245! They immediately rushed me back, called code blue, and started to hook me up to all sorts of machines. They said that I was about to crash and asked me tons of questions. They had to stop and restart my heart 3 times. Long story short, I wasnt bi-polar and seroquel almost killed me! I actually had to have heart surgery because of that medicine. Once I recovered, I was still have heart problems and anxiety due to this. So I went to another doctor and they placed me on Lexapro 10 mg. I am super sensitive to medication and i noticed a change in a week. I felt better, Like, a lot better. I had tried a couple of other pills, buspar, effexor, trazadone, and wellbutrin. None of those worked. So once the Lex started working, I felt a bit of relief. I had the usual side effects when I first started, but those subsided after about 2 weeks. Well things were getting better, life was going on, and I wasnt so anxious and the thoughts were gone. Fast forward 2.5 years. I started to feel like I was in a fog and like I couldn't quite enjoy things as much as I wanted to. I was numb to feelings and numb to other peoples feelings around me, especially my husband. He up and left me one day and I was blind-sided. Went to the doctor because I was crying all the time and losing weight and he upped my dosage to 20 mg. After that I felt amazing agian. I could drive 2.5 hours away to pick up my kids from my husbands house and I was ok about being alone at night, I even let my mom move out without freaking out. LOL. Then my husband decided to come home after a year and a half. {During this time I had tried to come off of meds again but I quit cold turkey and things were great until about 3.5 months in, then I had THE WORST panic attack ever and thougth I was going to kill myself, so I got back on the meds} Things were not getting better and I felt like I was getting worse. My brain was in a fog, I was losing my short term memory, I would get in my car and drive to work or to take my kids to school and couldnt remember how I got there, I couldn't cry, I had gained 30 pounds, my sex drive was GONE, and my liver was shot. I knew I had to do something and I had to do it the right way. I found this forum and started reading about a slow taper. I went to see a psychiatrist and he agreed that he didnt think I needed the medicationa nymore and we made a game plan to ween me off. Unfortunately, he passed away 2 weeks later. So I went to see his replacement and he didn't listen to a word I said. In fact, I think he was upset that I kept bringing up the late doctor and his plans that he just stopped me and looked at me and said, "we can get you to 5mg, but that is it. You will be on these meds for the rest of your life". I looked at him and said that is unacceptable and walked out. So I headed home crying and upset and decided that I was going to go through with my plan. I slowly weened myself over the next year and a half down to 5 mg. I didnt really notice any side effects when I dosed down. I started seeing a personal trainer and started eating only raw foods and felt great. However, I saw my trainer for 3 months straight and literally didnt lose an ounce! Not 1. So he said it was my meds, and I knew this, but still. So i ran home and said bumo this and went down to 2.5 mg for a week and that was it. Now, I did have the horrible physical withdrawals and all. The brain zaps, nausea, dizziness, tiredness, mood swings, anxiety, loss of concentration, forgettfulness, feeling like my brain was swishing around my head, and just overall crappy feeling. The first month I was very anxious. Like I couldn't sit still anxious, yet I couldnt focus enough to do simple things like house work and laundry. I didn't want to cook, clean, nothing. I listened to music and stayed outside a lot. I read outside and just relaxed in the sun. It was actually nice. But I had NO appetite. It affected my hypoglyemia so bad and that was making my anxiety worse. But at the time I didn't know this. I find it VERY helpful to keep a journal. Even when youa re feeling good. By month 2, I noticed an increase in OCD obsessive intrusive thoughts and less anxiety. I still had anxiety, but I wasn't go go go constantly. I started noticing crying spells and anger, and I felt like my emotions were all over the place. I lost my job due to no work and foudn myself home alone during the days, which unnerved me again. I am classic anxiety- hate to be alone/bored. But I stated to see a therapist and continued seeing my naturopath. She tried 5htp, Min Tran, drops, Bach Flowers, and inositol with me. Due to my sensitivity, even the all natural supplements made it WORSE. I couldn't sleep and when I did I would wake having night panic attacks. The anxiety of being home alone with my kids at night while my hubby was out of town scared me so bad that I would wake from my sleep with night time panic attacks and the intrusive thoughts that would scare me so bad. I would call my mom in the night and pace up and down the house to calm down. Month 3 seemed to get better and then worse. One moment i would be good and the next very bad. I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. I noticed I was seeing things, not like people or anyting, just like I swore I saw something move or my cat or somehting and nothing was there. That freaked me out. Only happens every now and then now. And I have had such bad bausea that its hard to eat, i have zero appetite, have lost 25 pounds so far, I still work out, get anxious to be alone, insomnia, increased ocd intrusive thoughts, depersonalization, loss of concentration, constant need to be watching or listening to something {talk radio-movies-shows-books}, agitation, agoraphobia, crying spells, depressive mood, dry mouth, weird achy feet, stomach issues, heart palpitations, inner trembling (like im cold and cant get warm-but on the inside), feelings of hopelessness, some fears of hurting myself, mood swings, nightmares, vivid dreams, panic attacks, sweating, repetitive thoughts, and weepiness. I STILL struggle with these. Still. It has been 14 weeks now since I have been Lex free and I actually am still learning to this day. I thought that I was getting worse and that I needed to get on meds again and almost gave in yesterday. But I read on here and realized that what I have been feeling is still W/D. I just came back from Texas and the night before I had to get on a plane (which I usually have no problem doing) I freaked out. Freaked! I had my neighbor up til 2 am trying to calm me down. I wasn't even scared about it crashing or anything, I just was afraid of having an atack on the plane. It was bad. But that is the agoraphobia that I didn't realize I had. I am so sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give history and my back story to what has led me here. My husband said that our marriage has been the best it has been for years since I got off of my meds. I don;t want you to think it is all bad. Its not. I have more moments of clarity and more 'light at the end of the tunnel' moments more and more every day. I even left therapy one day and called my mom crying telling her that FOR ONCE I feel normal and feel like htings are getting better. But of course, only time can tell and heal. I am able to have fun with my kids more, I hear them more and focus on them. I can talk to my husband without ending up in an argument. He has been more supportive then I had ever thought he would. I do have an appointment to meet with a new psychiatrist, and will go over with her everything that has happened. I DO NOT want to be on meds. I have also met a new therapist and she said that she "bleeds CBT" and that she feels I can kick this without meds! So I am hopeful. The therapist and the doc are in the same office, so I am confident that they will work together to keep me on my path that I chose. I just wanted to let someone know that they aren't going crazy and that there are others out here going through the same. I would love to hear from someone who has been lex free and in a good state. But funny enough, I am also a good listener and can help others with their problems better than my own! LOL Again, I am sorry this is so long. Thank you for taking the hour to read it. hahaha. Oh and I know mine is W/D still because I just say, if I were not alone or if my husband/mom/friends were around would I still be thinking these things. NO I wouldn't. So I know it is just the W/D still. Keep your head up! Please! It does get better. I am not there yet, but I am getting there one day at a time!

Was taking Abilify 20 mg but tapered down to 5-10 mg. Was also taking Celexa 40 mg but tapered down to 20 mg. Doctor started me on Wellbutrin 150 mg a month ago to "give me a boost". Stopped taking the abilify and celexa but still take Wellbutrin 150 mg. The first month I felt fine, now even though I am on Wellbutrin, I am getting anxiety spells, some social phobia at times, and my depression is coming back. I come from a family with a lot of mental illness, and had depression with psychosis since I hit puberty, now I am almost 40. I think the medications worked in a way but by numbing me and dulling my feelings in general. In a way it was good in that it numbed me so much I didn't have anxiety and was able to talk to people. I would like to see if I could be okay now with out the help of meds but tried to go off them before cold turkey and my depression came back worse than ever. I thought since I am replacing the abilify and celexa with Wellbutrin I would be fine, and was then planning to wean off of that. But I don't know if I am just feeling my emotions more or it's discontinuation syndrome.

Hello. I'm so grateful that this group is here. When I first looked for a support community for getting off of anti-depressants (in 2004) I found one group, in San Francisco, and very little on-line. It is comforting to know that others are going through, or have gone through, similar experiences to my own. I took my last dose of Lexapro in June of 2008 and have been almost entirely drug-free since then (an occasional crumb of Atavan still gets me through particularly challenging days). I am grateful to be free and clear of ADs, but also disappointed that my emotional stability and happiness are far less than they were before I started taking Lexapro. That said, I do have times of great happiness and I did not have that while on the drugs, so there is much to be grateful for. I find the most challenging part of this is the isolation. I have only recently "come out" as someone who struggles with depression (not something I would have thought about myself before becoming dependent on ADs), and that is difficult enough socially. I don't usually even broach the subject of withdrawal syndrome; it's just too grim for normal conversation. When I miss events because I'm having a "bad day," I usually say I've got a migraine headache. My lying about it makes the isolation even worse. I look forward to meeting other people who are going through, or have been through, similar experiences. Thank you all for being here.

Hi friends- i am so hopeful about finding some support here. I was on Citalopram (Celexa) for 10 years. I started to taper two years ago. i reduced 2.5 mg each six weeks. Each interval was crying, fear, lack of control and then a veil lifted and i would repeat the pattern. Its the hardest thing i have ever done. In Nov 2014 i took my last dose. 5mg. What followed was basically, hell. crying uncontrollably, flu-like symptoms, terrible GI issues, pale, tired, depressed, disconnected, you name it. Ive done a lot of praying and committed to seeing this through. Im a now 10 weeks off and the issues are more physical than mental. One stage of an issue ends and another starts. Right now, its insomnia and muscle spasms. Of course, being one of an anxious nature and a catastrophizer, my brain has me having MS or Parksinsons. I know in my head this is not the case, but i cant get my anxiety to align. When your body doesnt respond the "normal" way- it triggers all sorts of neurosis. I am shocked and disappointed at the lack of knowledge "out there" from Doctors regarding SSRI withdrawal. I feel like a victim- i was placed on poison. Each day is a journey and i want nothing more but to feel "normal" again. I really need some encouragement. How do you deal? Im tired of feeling so alone and feeling like my life will never be as good as it was. - N