Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'escitalopram'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Categories

There are no results to display.

Blogs

There are no results to display.

Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
  • Current events
    • In the media
    • From journals and scientific sources
    • Events, actions, controversies

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

  1. khugsplants

    khugsplants journey

    Hi friends... When SSRI's came into my life, they saved me. Through most of my life (teens and twenties) I had successfully lived with my mental health struggles using tools such as exercise, time outdoors, and an ever changing and stimulating lifestyle as one has during this time of their life. When I moved in my early 30s, completely upending my life as I had never lived anywhere else, I was no longer able to deal with the depths my depression took me to. After failing to find relief from Wellbutrin, I reluctantly decided to try Lexapro. It truly saved me when I was at my lowest point until then. I knew about some of the side effects, weight gain, lower libido, which is why I hesitated. But, as I was no longer functioning, something needed to change. And, it did. What I did not know, was how horrific it was going to be to try to get back off of this drug. I understand myself better now, and I've created an environment in my life that should help me to thrive. But then there is this drug. It is like a veil. More subtle than the depression was, but still something that keeps me from living fully. It keeps me from feeling fully. In 2019, I was ready to come off of the drug. With a new psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed SSRI to me), I expressed that I was ready to come off of Lexapro. She told me to cut the dose in half for a few weeks, then in half again, then for a few more weeks, then I would be off the medication. After 5 days at half dose, I was having flu-like symptoms, crying whenever I moved more intensely than a walk, not sleeping....it was too much. I told my doctor and she said to go back to the full dose and we could try again slower at a later time. Then, she retired, and I moved to help my Mom go through cancer treatment. Not a good time to remove your antidepressant. In April 2023, my Mom went into remission, I had the best job, I lived in a place that was good for my soul, and I had so much support around me that I was ready to try again. I did not have a new doctor by now to support me, but I had learned the first time that I needed to slow the tapering process down. I thought I could do it. I reduced my dose by only 25% for 2 weeks, then again to half dose for 1 day. After not sleeping for 4 consecutive nights in a row in addition to the previous WD symptoms I had the first time, I went back to full dose. I was angry and sad. I felt like I had no control and my inability to come off the drug made me want to come off it even more. Why don't doctors tell you about this before they put you on it???? Yes, I've gained weight, my sex life has suffered, but not being able to stop taking this little pill is appalling. I didn't sign up to be dependent on a life-numbing drug for my entire lifetime!@@ My Mom did pass away this last year. The last thing I've needed since April is to take away this crutch when my heart has been more broken than it ever has before. But I am healing, and I think part of that healing process is to take back full ownership and control over my mind and body by getting off Lexapro. I have a two new doctors who are going to support me through this, and I have this site!!! I am so incredibly thankful for the resources and stories about people's journeys going through the same process I will. Thank you all SO MUCH for this site. My new doctors have prescribed me some additional psychoactive drugs to support this process: Lamotrigine and Bupropion. I am taking these to help alleviate WD symptoms from tapering off Lexapro, but I am very anxious about becoming dependent on these as well. My goal is to come off all psychoactive drugs to see where I am in navigating my mental health without chemical support. We will see...
  2. Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?
  3. Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)
  4. Hi people, I am kind of desperate as I feel really weird for the last week or so and it is not the anxiety or the depression that I started the antidepressants for (at least this is how I perceive it). As you can see in the signature, there were a lot of changes and adjustments since I started the antidepressants. My current doc (will have a meeting with her on Wednesday) recommended to go up to 150mg of zoloft and so I did, in December. But by the end of December I started to feel super anxious again and upon google research (doc not available during the holidays), I decided by myself to drop back to 125. A week after that I started to feel really good, maybe best I've been since I started the medication. It lasted about until around 20th of January when I started to feel another increase in anxiety. Contacted the doc and she recommended another drop, to 100 mg. About 5 days later I started to feel a bit better, but only for 2-3 days. Then the weirdness started. I now have a feeling that I haven't had before (of course, I might perceive it like that since the mix of depression and anxiety with OCD and health anxiety on top is a BOMB cocktail), like I am not the same anymore, a dreamlike feeling, a bit dissociative, a bit emotionally numb, a bit of confusion, ability to focus on something dropped a bit etc. Feels a bit like the derealization I had when I felt into depression, back in summer 2023, but without that severe depression. I fear that my brain got permanently "damaged" (a bit illogical, I know, but the fear is there) from all these meds and adjustments. I feel this new state to be even scarier than the anxiety attacks I was having in Autumn (at least I was feeling better after an attack, for the rest of the day, optimistic and hopeful) because I am in it the whole day, with minor ups and downs. Can I actually feel this way because of the last drop in dosage? If so, why I haven't feel this way when I dropped from 150 to 125? Lately I was thinking that upping the escitalopram dosage from 10 to 20 mg, back in September (I had a rough week right after I returned from holiday, anxiety was through the roof the week before I went up on 20 mg) was a mistake and maybe I just had to push through and stay on 10mg. I have the feeling that I have been overmedicated since then. I actually dropped back to 10mg mid Novemeber (and then switched to zoloft) after I complained several times to my doc that I started to feel a bit weird, mood shifts during the day, like feeling great in the first half and like **** in the afternoon. Also, I am seriously thinking in the last few days to start weaning off the poison, because I started to believe these meds are actually doing more wrong than good (of course, these words may come out just because I feel super off lately) I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks!
  5. Here is my story. As an adolescent and college student, I suffered from anxiety and in particular social anxiety. I finally sought psychiatric treatment in senior year of college (year 2014) as I also started getting major depressive symptoms and was prescribed Zoloft (at 100 mg for 7 years, then tapered to 50 mg for the remaining time I was on it; I did not take any breaks, was always on it during this time; mainly had some sexual side effects, a bit of emotional blunting, but overall really manageable from side effect standpoint, nothing major). It was highly effective at treating the physical feelings of anxiety and healed me mentally as well, slowly improving and lowering social anxiety and my depressive symptoms. In late July of 2023, while on 50mg I decided I was in a good place and found a few of the side effects annoying, and (unfortunately) self-tapered off the 50 mg (50 to 25 to 12.5 over around 6 weeks) by mid-September. As I tapered, I felt no increase in anxiety or depression (and had not been feeling these in a significant way for a long time – in fact I was the happiest I had probably ever been in my whole life, which is what prompted me to think I did not need the Zoloft any more), or any of the symptoms I took it for the in the first place, and experienced minimal ‘discontinuation’ symptoms as well. Then, about 6 weeks after stopping, in mid-November I had several things pop up at the time I did not recognize as relapse/discontinuation, but almost certainly were (GI distress, nausea, constipation) – these were separate ‘episodes’ that occurred, and there was spacing in between them. December 10 is when the true full relapse began: I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy, with chills, got bad night sleep / struggled to get back to sleep, following night at girlfriend’s had panic attack come out of nowhere- chills, shivering, feeling anxious not self, thought I was going to die- walked around and talked it out, died down in 20-30min… but for rest of night felt uneasy, struggled to sleep / got a bad night sleep. Following day woke up feeling full anxiety in chest, shoulders (adrenaline type feeling) and had racing/worrying thoughts, told primary care provider they refilled Zoloft 25 mg. I took the Zoloft 25 mg had a strong reaction (this was ~2.5 months after my last dose of 12.5mg), both positive in sense it did calm me down but with strong side effects (tingling, no libido, strange sensations (I experienced lower libido, but nothing like the strange sensations when on it before)—like an electric shock in lower body mostly, i.e., what I now know to be the ‘kindling’ effect and you can’t argue against this because human beings can’t natural produce electric shock sensations internally even as a manifestation of anxiety), deterring me from wanting to take it again, still got pretty poor sleep that night but not horrible. Did not take Zoloft Wednesday because concerned about side effects, still felt anxious / off and got poor night’s sleep again. I met with primary care thursday, at doctor’s office Thursday had a panic attack that did die down, they referred me to psychiatrist. On Friday took 12.5 mg Zoloft since they said it wouldn’t make a difference either way at that dose and felt more relaxed but again had weird side effects. The next day I started to feel weird, and took 12.5mg to take the edge off (in retrospect, not how Zoloft to be used but I was in an irrational, anxious state), made me feel calmer but still got a bad sleep. Sunday morning felt very off, like panic building so took 25 mg Zoloft initially calmer but panic attack did not stop ended up going to ER, had elevated BP/HR otherwise fine, and gave me low dose of lorazepam, talked it out, calmed down. Also trazodone for sleep, ended up sleeping very well that night for whatever reason. The next day felt a bit weird but also a bit recovered, around noon felt growing depression feeling so took 25mg Zoloft, then that night really struggled to get sleep, next morning also feeling off, had panic attack, ended up calling 911 evaluated in ambulance, just elevated HR and BP, calmed down, flew home that day (took Zoloft 25mg at noon because could feel growing depression feeling again). Had another panic attack and went to the ER one more time (this was last day I took Zoloft 25mg). I then started on my newly found psychiatrist’s (yea… unfortunately did not have one for a while) plan of 0.5mg/night clonazepam and 150mg Wellbutrin (since starting the 0.5mg clonazepam, no true panic attacks have occurred), unfortunately even with taking the Wellbutrin in the morning, I got no sleep that night (got hypnic jerks that kept me awake), told me psychiatrist, he told me to stop and we’d re-evaluate in a few days. Then following two nights no sleep, the psychiatrist kind of gave up on me, so then took a few days to find a new provider. Who started me on 5mg Lexapro (and continue 0.5mg/night clonazepam) – the main side effects were getting no sleep (down from 5-6 hours previous two nights) both nights I tried it and constipation (but other than that nothing bad). I took a break for a day and re-tried in the morning, then was able to get some sleep. Over a 5-week period, I vamped up from 5 to 7.5 to 10mg/morning Lexapro, and tapered down to 0.25mg/night clonazepam (tapered down regardless of impact on sleep because I did not want to become dependent). Since starting the Lexapro, there has been continued improvement in daily functioning, reduction in anxiety (in particular better control over thoughts), mood (continues to improve actually – in many ways getting back to old self despite being sleep deprived); I continue to feel I am approaching ‘normal’ / being myself more. However, there is still something major that is very off: I do not feel exhaustion/tiredness (OR anywhere near as much like **** as I should after a poor night’s sleep, I am also strangely am able to focus better and in a better mood than I’d be under normal circumstances) during the day (or a very limited amount of it), and continue to get poor night’s sleeps (I have not taken a single nap or dosed off at all since December 10… I even took 5mg ambien in the middle of the day (long story) and that failed to make me fall asleep). It is often challenging for me to both fall asleep, and guaranteed I will wake up at least 1-2 times throughout the night (and sometimes during these instances I cannot get back to sleep), and I can never sleep in past 7am. The worst nights are usually 1.5-2.5 hours, the better ones are in the 4.5-6 hour range (I had a streak of 0 hour sleep for 3 nights in a row after going down from .5 to .25mg Klonopin too early, then went back to 0.5mg and made taper more gradual). I have had several nights of 7-8 hour sleeps, but with only a few exceptions these have always been after taking a sleeping drug (and always the 0.25mg Klonopin as well). During the nights, I will sometimes wake up with a faster heartrate, night sweats, urinate frequently, when trying to fall asleep I have experienced minor hypnic jerks (though a lot less bad than the ones after taking the Wellbutrin) – a lot of these have admittedly declined in frequency (and some I think have been in reaction to taking certain sleep meds the night prior, e.g., Mirtazapine), but nonetheless my average amount of sleep has not improved that much, still waking up often and not getting very many hours (interestingly I also pretty much always remember my dreams). For awareness, I have tried Ambien (just 5mg) which did not work at getting me to sleep (did make me extremely drowsy though.. also felt depressed/anxious like 5-6 hours of taking it), Trazodone (25-100mg, it was effective, but started realizing it might be causing tachycardia and made me act weird in the mornings so stopped taking it), Mirtazapine (~4mg, probably the best sleep I’ve had during the whole experience slightly over 8 hours only woke up once, obviously made me extremely drowsy, but the next morning was a zombie, then in the afternoon started experiencing hypersensitivity and getting jolts of anxiety in reaction to things like dogs barking while on a walk), Lunesta (1mg – was effective 6-7 hours helped with falling and staying asleep, but did some GI distress, and felt causing some sort of mini-withdrawal since on the Klonopin / not advisable to take z-drug with benzo), and Hydroxyzine (25-75mg – this has been effective, I think become a bit less effective over time but still helpful, some side effects getting better, notable so want to avoid taking every night); for supplements I take 2mg melatonin, 300mg magnesium, vitamin D3, I try going to bed at consistent time, go on daily 30+ minute walks, employ diaphragmatic breathing, though admittedly have more to learn on sleep hygiene. All of this said, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the following (and I am going to an online forum because I have brought some of this up to supposedly highly qualified Ivy League-trained psychiatrists who won’t really know what to do). (1) Is there any possibility I did not give re-trying Zoloft a proper chance, and getting back on it at some TBD dosage is my only chance to get back to normal? When I took it initially it did feel weird, but all of the effects I’d be willing to put up with if I got back to feeling normally and being able to sleep properly again (even though as I took it later in the week I noticed most decline in intensity). Additionally I took it incorrectly, starting on a Tuesday at 25mg, then taking 12.5mg on Friday, then 12.5mg Saturday, then 25mg for just a few more days before stopping. You may think, why on earth would he get back on that he still had panic attacks on them (and yes, they were potentially worse because I took it, but I took it improperly, which likely completely threw off my brain). In comparison to Lexapro, when I first took it it did not interfere with sleep like Lexapro did (two nights in a row with no sleep, and still after 5 weeks on Lexapro I am getting poor sleep, though some components may be improving). It did have a calming effect, did have a somewhat numbing effect and made me feel better than I should have (given the overtiredness), but still that was early days and towards the end 4th day or so of using that became less the case. a. I read in some cases if you react strongly to the initial dosage that is “kindling” and does not mean the drug will not work, but just you are extra sensitive to it. My brain clearly grew dependent on Zoloft over the 9+ years I was on it and may need the drug to get back to normal. I had not taken it long enough the second time (only 4-5 days) to tell if it could properly reduce anxiety, rebalance my brain so I could sleep properly. When I was having the panic attacks while taking it, it had not been long enough to prevent them (would take weeks…), I was also not eating nearly enough (something I realized during my final ER visit when I horsed down a bunch of mediocre hospital food). b. If I were to switch I am pretty sure I’d need to cross taper with Lexapro, because going to 0 on an SSRI I don’t think would be good for me at this point, in particular combining the withdrawal with the sleep deprivation. It would probably be wise to start with a very low amount of Zoloft (like 1 mg?) to minimize any risk of Serotonin Syndrome. c. While I don’t think they take a nuanced approach, and lack a sophisticated enough understanding of SSRIs, have been advised against this by several doctors. (2) Does it make sense to stick with Lexapro, at least for several more weeks, potentially at a higher dose. I am not concerned about the constipation, but obviously if it makes sleep worse that’s a no go. I have noticed continued improvements shifts to normality while on it just not the desired improvement on sleep. In some ways I am happier on it than I was on Zoloft, but still not the sleep improvement—and sleep is huge foe me. If I were to increase the dose I would start going from 10mg to 12.5mg. My GI system seems to be improving (gets less irritated after meals, getting more of real appetite/feeling hunger) a. The recent psychiatrist I saw recommend I try increasing the dose of Lexapro and see how it goes over the next month. (3) Could it make sense to try an alternative SSRI, such as Prozac or Celexa? The key here would be getting brain back to a state where I could sleep. Or a different antidepressant class, but those are second line and known for even worse side effects. (4) Some may say the Klonopin, especially in the context of tapering, is hurting sleep (which it probably is but I doubt that severely given I have held at .25mg for 3 weeks), and right now I am still suffering from the bad sleep deprivation, have lost 15 pounds – suffering through potential benzo withdrawal might not be something I can handle now. I have no desire to ever take a dose higher than 0.25mg, and eventually 100% want off of it, preferably as soon as possible. (5) In terms of other treatment options for the insomnia, I have not yet tried Seroquel but have reservations given I already have not had the best experiences with Trazodone and Mirtazapine – if I were to try Seroquel maybe like ¼ or ½ the usual starting dose of 25mg… Would rather try one of the alternative treatments, CBD/cannabis if those really do sometimes work. a. I have heard CBT-I, ketamine infusions, psilocybin microdose, CBD, cannabis, maybe be helpful – would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these or other treatments
  6. Hello. New here. I started Lexapro towards the end of June 2023. I was on 2.5 mg for two weeks. 5 for two weeks. 7.5 for two weeks and 10 for 6 weeks before I started tapering off. I tapered off under doctors recs. I didn't know any better. While I was on the drug I had this awful heavy body feeling and muscle tension. Whenever I would go up the next dose I would have hyperreflexia and my joints would just twitch at night while trying to fall asleep. I've been off 3 and a half months. The first 3 weeks I was about getting back to normal. I went and got botox one day, and I don't know if it was the botox or if it would have happened anyway but i fell hard into withdrawl. Oddly on the meds and on my bad days, I notice my joints don't crack like they normally do. It's weird. My blood pressure for three weeks in December was insane. It would go into the high 40s and then shoot up into the 70s. That seems to be stable now. Still dealing with the heavy body feeling. Loss of sensation. Muscle tension and sometimes twitching. I had a few day window last week, where I felt almost 100 percent back to normal. My dry eyes are killing me. Followed by today where I don't have much sensation on my arms or hands. My head feels 200 lbs. And I have extreme muscle tension in the back of my head. Are there even muscles there? How can that even hurt so bad. The cervical spine area seems to be the worst. I went to PT to try and help, but I don't think it did anything. I see people that never recover and I just worry I will hit a wave and never come out.
  7. Hello! I was put on medications during a weeklong hospital stay for major depressive disorder with psychotic features. I've experienced severe withdrawal symptoms, akathisia, insomnia, loss of appetite, body aches, depression 2 different times since the hospitalization. Once because I tried to come off the drugs on my own and the other because I was weaned off of Zyprexa too quickly. Now I'm on escitalopram and aripiprazol. I'm tapering the aripiprazol first and am doing well with that so far. I found out I was pregnant again and am 8 weeks along now. I have some anxiety about being on these medications while pregnant, but I should at least be off the aripiprazol soon if everything goes well. I plan on waiting 2-3 months after my last dose of aripiprazol before tapering the Lexapro. I'm hoping everything will go okay. It's difficult to know what symptoms are withdrawal related and which are pregnancy related. Right now I've got stomach cramps with loose stools every day for the past 2 weeks. Sleep is okay, but I feel so tired. Emotions are a little difficult to handle when they come. Trying to stay calm and positive about all these changes. Thanks!
  8. Hi I was prescribed Paroxetine and Lexapro for over 10 years for my depression and anxiety. Tbh I was prescribed an array of medications by my first doctor who seemed hell bent on throwing them at me like tic tacs. After still having suicidal idealtion, endless crying spells, depression and anxiety another medication was added to the growing list...Zoloft. I had a severe reaction and had to stop it in a day. It traumatised me so much, I didn't resume my Lexapro medication. I went on with my life and for the first month I was fine and didn't really notice the absence of Lexapro in my life. But then I was struck down with anxiety and depression and tried to go back on my 5mg of Lexapro but got an allergic reaction from being off them for a month. I have been put on St. John's Wort and I'm trying to hold on but I'm losing all hope as I see my life collapse before my eyes. I'm physically getting worse and feel so physically weak and nauseated. I have brain zaps and tingles. I can't eat or exercise and feel that my life is over. It's absolutely terrifying. I fear becoming homeless because I need a job and money for essentials. I miss the person I used to be and never felt so alone in my life. There's no one that seems to understand and no support network in Australia. I know I didn't taper slowly enough and it would of been wise to do it slower. But unfortunately I tried to restart using Lexapro and had severe allergic reactions. We also don't have it in liquid form in Australia for a 10 percent tapering reduction. I now live all alone with no partner or support network. I'm 49 years old and feel that my life is over. Living with no hope, physical and mental symptoms, suicidal idealation, loneliness and despair coupled with financial stress makes me feel as though I just can't make it through this. I'm starting to lose all hope.
  9. In May 2023 i stopped taking 5mg Cipralex (which is the uk brand name of Lexapro). I was taking it for 3 months. Here i am, 8 months on having experienced so many withdrawal symptoms. The first few months consisted of panic upon wakening in the morning, burning brain and heightened anxiety. These have all resolved. Most concerning to me, which started in the first few weeks of stopping was my sex drive just turned off. I woke up one morning and it was gone. That part of my body felt disconnected from the rest of me. Over time i am seeing improvements in this area. I am getting windows of being interested in sex where i am getting aroused. At the beginning it was only aroused when touched but i’m noticing i’m getting aroused by simply looking at my partner. But then a wave hits and i’m right back to feeling completely detached from that part of my body again. During a wave i also feel detached from the world. I believe depersonalisation and anhedonia are the terms to sum up how i feel. Its not nice. I understand these symptoms would be classed as PSSD. Ive read some not so pleasant things about this condition which scares me and i find the very fear of it makes it worse and takes me off any track of recovery. I’m in a wave right now, which has probably driven me to write this post. I am constantly thinking if i should reinstate a low dose of the drug as i’m mainly in a wave and finding it so difficult. I have the liquid version so could easily get the low dose (0.5mg). I tried 1mg 5 months ago, panicked, and stopped. But looking back at that day, i went for a walk, i had lots of conversation, colours seemed brighter somehow and i felt like i was coming back to the person i knew. It wasnt all perfect, i felt dizzy, my sleel that night was broken but looking back it was the panic that stopped me from continuing. I wonder if anyone can help me in this decision? To reinstate at 0.5mg or to continue this journey? In summary, i’m 8 months on from a cold turkey stop, my symptoms are brain fog, fatigue, symptoms of post ssri sexual dysfunction, but they do seem to lessen at times. I’m just finding this journey so hard and its getting me very low. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and i wish you all the best in your journeys.
  10. Short Story After 6 months of being on 3 SSRIs and 1 SNRI, tapered from Pristiq for 1 week by cutting 50 mg pill in half. After being stuck in hypomanic like anxiety state for 6 months since i got off, seeking help on next move - small dosage reinstatement, go along with bispurone suggestion from doc, or other? I recognize reinstatement after such long time is contentious. Current Symptoms Anxiety (maybe hypomanic?), switching from distractibility to hyperfocus, brainfog, difficulty organizing thoughts, planning, lack of drive, motivation and sex drive. In the 6 months since i am off meds I had under a 7 days (total) where i felt present, calm, w/ reset nervous system - after a rare moment i was tired enough to nap. The rest of the time I was in an agitated, restlessness nervous state with distorted perception of time (highly accelerated). The higher stress, excitement, or other trigger like intense work session, the stronger the symptoms, which without significant rest, can lead to greater distress and extreme brain fog. Long Story I'm in my early 40s. My depression flared up after end of a long-term relationship. Pandemic isolation happened shortly after. The immense stressors during this period caused bad anxiety. I asked for anxiety meds but scored high for depression so I agreed to anti-depressants. Cycled through celexa, lexapro, zoloft and ending with pristiq; all helped anxiety with mixed sideffects, such as removed drive and motivation, which specifically remained after the meds. My pristiq taper - was told to half my 50 mg dose for a week and get off. I was not dissuaded from my suggestion of cutting my 50mg pill in half - i now know that was bad. In weeks and months since (total 6 months now), I am unable to sustain cognitive performance w/o causing aroused state from which i find almost impossible to return from. In fact a lot symptoms and triggers to a varying degree, except for the risky behavior, look like hypomania. It started during the weeks after taper, with a hyper arousal, over-productive brain. I never experienced something like that before and no bipolar history in me and family. Psychiatrist's response is that its likely anxiety. Strange, as I never got so anxious I could not calm down before from stimuli of social night out with friends, working with a coworker, from an angry conversation, or even intense workout session. In the early months of withdrawal, any sort of excitement/stress lead to insomnia, short term memory loss, or even disorientation in navigation (new to me) and I'm frightened to see time and my life passing so fast. I'm unable to perform at any decent rate at work (work as engineer) so much I'm considering quitting or taking sabbatical if they'd allow me. I seem to have lost whatever drive i still had left before i got on the drugs. Sleep stabilized in last 2 months. Most recently once or twice, I reached tired state and got a nap (common in the before-times). This caused me to finally leave my 'hypomania'/hightened anxiety state, felt present, 'reset' back to normal and thought creatively, calmly for rest of day. Since i left the drugs 6 months ago though, I didn't experience more than 5-6 (individual) days like that. Question I don't know if this is hypomania or just a level of anxiety i haven't experienced or heard of before. I read that although people may get hypomania when getting on these drugs or upping the dosage, in rarer cases its possible to get it when stopping. Given the slow rate of improvement, distress, mental performance at work, and inability to consistently get off feeling anxious state or slow down perception of time (despite doing supplementation, meditation, regular exercise), I'm debating either to go on anti-anxiety med like bispurone psychiatrist suggested, or try small dosage reinstatement to abate some symptoms. Highly appreciate any suggestions, comments. Thank you
  11. The only way in the end that I could come off venlafaxine was to go on another drug. It has never occurred to me that I am experiencing, nearly a year later could be withdrawal. I assumed this was taken care of by the new drug. However my anxiety has never recovered and is very bad, even on escetalapram. Do I up the dose, try another drug, or is what I'm feeling a reaction to withdrawing from venlafaxine? I am wanting to taper off escetalaprin but feel very nervous as my experience with wd from venlafaxine was quite simply unbearable.
  12. Hi, My name is Kai. I was prescribed three meds in the first day. Those were Abilify, Agotine, and Topiramate. I took them instantly after the meeting with psychiatrist. I was very stressed. I felt not understood. But that wasn't the problem. The problem occured when I took the second dose after few hours. I started feeling a strange amount of satisfaction. It was night, and I felt as if I was in a kind of a transitional state. I remember feeling almost supernatural. There was a different day, which I guess I did almost the same thing after meeting the psychiatrist. I remember it was a day, and the dose might have been changed. Also there might have been added the new pill, Risperidone. I felt great agitation. I could not stop moving. I saw hallucination. I felt my world was melting down. My world was never the same after that. Honestly, I don't remember if those two were the same day or not. And many other things occured in the other days, but those were what happened when I was struck by meds instantly. The other days, I felt also very unreal. I felt my world was changing into something else. Since it was the first time I was using the antipsychotics, I thought this was what it was supposed to be doing. Later, I started losing my musical abilities. It happened gradually. One day suddenly, I simply wasn't able to play anymore. I still cannot play to this day. Before, I was great at many instruments. I was a musician by heart, feeling arts all throughout the world, loving the poetry and literature, and so on. I also loved movies, but those all disappeared. I was somewhere apart from the world I used to be in before. There was no 'me' anymore. No more interest, feelings, thoughts, memories. But I was still able to enjoy movies to some extent until I became bedridden. Being bedridden was when I was completely done in my life. At least that is what I felt. But while I was being bedridden, I slowly recovered in a strange way. It took a long time, and the recovery didn't show any promise of my previous self, I started to feel some normal feelings again, which was not really pleasing to me. I don't know if it was because I was being bedridden, relying on to my family, losing my independence and hope, but the reality felt much worse and resembled that feeling of unfortunate childhood that I've been through. I felt totally immature. I am very sorry my writing doesn't articulate anything good. I have tried to write this introduction since the beginning of this year, but it took so long to even be able to write something that doesn't look terrible. So since I know you, which are great people who chose to help, would kindly write replies to this pitiful writing, and if you do so and ask me for more specifics, I will try my best to tell more about my symptoms and situations. It also takes very long time for me to remember something, including what I ate for breakfast. Thank you.
  13. >I'm mexican, living in Mexico. In my 20s. >Severe OCD >One day, depression appears suddenly. Now, severe OCD and strong (but not severe) depression. >2020 i'm given Sertraline 50mg by a Neurologist. Did not had any type of therapy, was sent directly to taking drugs. >2021 Change to Escitalopram 10 mg >Escitalopram 2021 10mg >Had a session of TMS, offered as a trial by a Neurologist. >Escitalopram 2022 10 mg >Escitalopram January 2023 25% reduction each week >February 2023 stop taking Escitalopram >May 2023 Escitalopram for 2 weeks, varying doses from 2.5mg to 10mg, then stopped again. >October 2023 took 2.5mg for one week Important notes - During 2022 and 2023 I went to several psychologists for help (In México) with my OCD and Depression. I consider they didn't help much. Tried CBT. Currently: - I'm no longer having difficulty with OCD (as far as I know). After reading several books about the topic, I kind of started getting better, and without SSRIs. - I consider i'm no longer depressed. However i'm mostly in a bad mood, until I force myself to socialize and do fun things. It kind of depends on chemicals in my brain. - I'm having strong difficulty socializing. I sometimes feel like i'm about to break down, when having a simple conversation. Eye contact, depending on my mood, becomes very hard. I'm seriously considering taking 1-2 mg of Escitalopram to help with this. What are your thoughts? When I took 2.5mg just for a week, It did helped.
  14. Hello, I would like to introduce myself. I need a lot of help and advice on my situation as it's somewhat complicated. I was on Cipralex for 4.5 years. It stopped working as well and I was extremely emotionally blunted so I went to a psychiatrist for help. He increased my 10 mg dose to 15 mg's. I immediately developed severe suicidal thoughts and what I now know is akathisia. I lowered the dose down to 10 again until I saw a new psychiatrist. He increased my dose to 20 mg's of Cipralex in a week. All hell broke even more loose. I believe I developed some serotonin syndrome and lowered my dose to 15 in one week and back to 10 another week. I decided after this hell that I wanted to taper off as quickly as possible. Obviously I didn't know then what I know now. I jumped off 5 mg's of Cipralex and cross tapered to 15 mg's of Mirtazapine as I had lost 25 pounds in a month and had severe akathisia. I stopped the Mirtazapine after 5 days as it was a terrifying experience. I remained medication free until after 4 weeks the akathisia creeped back in. I went back on Mirtazapine at 7.5 mg's and almost unalived myself twice. I entered inpatient care at that point and lowered my Mirtazapine to 3.75 mg's. They put me on Pregabalin(Lyrica) which I'm now off as of November 2023. I should also add I took Ativan intermittently from May-October so I was often confused on what role that played in my akathisia. I had a big 2-week window recently but I'm now in a vicious wave. I want off the Mirtazapine because I feel it's been causing my anhedonia and DP/DR. My question is should I start tapering Mirtazapine? I still have akathisia and it's not helping with anything other than increased appetite at times. Any advice is appreciated.
  15. Hello , I have come across your website/forum today and have been reading all sorts of posts over the last few hours. I thought Id introduce myself and share my story , will be really grateful to get some opinions. My story begins in 2016(24 y.o at the time) when I started suffering from chronic non vertigonous dizziness. After around 2 years, and countless doctor visits and investigations, the diagnosis made was PPPD and I was put on SSRIs as it was one of the recommended drugs for managing the condition. In retrospect I realise now that at the time, I was getting into a depressive episode/low mood secondary to the ongoing and seemingly incurable dizziness that I found myself struggling with at the time , an element of health anxiety probably made my symptoms worse (the low mood and the dizziness). I started taking Escitalopram around July 2018 , the dose was up titrated from 5mg slowly up to 20mg over the year. My dizziness was 90% improved and I felt great , but I also suffered from some side effects such as weight gain , fatigue , blunting of emotions , loss of libido. I successfuly tapered down 10mg over the next year and have tried to go down to 5mg once or twice but failed ( cant remember details of what made me stop at the time). In early 2023 I succesfully tapered down to 5mg and finally in August 2023 I dropped down to 2.5mg and then tapered down to 0mg over 4 weeks. Knowing what I know now I should have taken a lot more time doing that. My main concern stopping the drug was having the dizziness back and the whole PPPD condition resurfacing. However , I always wanted to stop taking SSRIs and was waiting for the right moment. I wanted to get rid of the side effects. I was hopeful and the timing felt right as life was going great. The first 4 weeks sure enough the dizziness came back , but I pushed through and it actually subsided within 6 weeks. I was happy and content that my dizziness condition seemed to be under control. Otherwise I had no acute withdrawal symptoms at all , no brain zaps , no headaches. I thought that was it and that Ive succesfully tapered off Escitalopram. At around the 10 week mark I suddenly found myself in a dark and negative emotional space and felt generaly and anxious. I would wake up early morning feeling stressed and anxious with seemingly no reason at all. Id find myself ruminating and thinking about old life events and become emotional over them, I would cry or become tearful over the most random thing I see or memory I think of. It felt like my emotions were all over the place. Old memories were resurfacing and it would feel like I am processing them for the very first time. This was entirely new and never have I ever experienced any similar emotional states. I have always been calm and level headed. I did not know what to think of it, I just knew I had to push through. Currently at around 17 weeks of 0mg. The emotional state I decsribed above is no longer the main problem , in fact it has significantly improved. However I am still struggling with early morning stress and anxiety , low mood and negative outlook on life, hopelessness, ruminating and catastrophising thoughts and made up scenarios in my head, constant low energy , want to sleep all the time. I was going mad trying to find a reason of why all of this was happening. Why am I suddenly going through what feels like a depressive episode. I did not know about protracted withdrawals. Finding this forum was like a revelation. It all clicks now. Is it worth reinstating now ? Would that be a good idea ? I would love to push through but I dont know if I have the strength to. Would appreciate hearing your thoughts and experiences.
  16. Hi everyone, I am new to this site and am glad to have found it. Twelve years ago when I was 14 years old I was put onto Cipralex 20 mg once a day. I have been on that medication since until last month when I officially tapered off and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin XL 150 mg once a day. It has not been until recently that I’ve read about lasting permanent effects on personality, mood, and behaviour from being on antidepressants for so long. Especially for someone such as myself who was on it from 14 years old to 26 years old while my brain was developing. I am beyond concerned with what this may have done to me and feel helpless and unsure of what to do or where to go from here. I’m not even sure where to begin to look on this site. I have felt “monotone,” blank and emotionless for the past probably 4-5 years, which was one of the reasons I wanted to discontinue Cipralex. It’s like I can no longer feel any range of emotion. I cannot remember the last time I felt genuinely happy or genuinely sad. I used to be so energetic, bubbly, outgoing, and silly, I could light up a room and now it’s like that part of myself is gone—extinguished or muffled. I can feel nothing other than “flat” every single day. There are no ups or downs, so it’s not just anhedonia but I can’t feel sadness or anger either. I believe this is sometimes called emotional blunting? I’m wondering if this will ever go away and if I will ever feel like I did when I was 14-18 again. This emotional numbness feels like a death sentence. When I research online it says emotional blunting should be reversed once off of SSRIs but I am concerned maybe that will not be the case for me seeing as though I was on the medication for 10+ years and during critical brain development. I guess I can feel some sadness because thinking about being emotionally blunted forever makes me want to cry. I long to feel strongly about anything again. I would love to hear other’s stories about coming off of Cipralex/Lexapro/Escitalopram after 10+ years during peak developmental brain years and their experiences with managing this emotional numbness and if any sense of normalcy ever returned to them. Ideally I would like to eventually come off of Wellbutrin too. After being on Cipralex for so long and experiencing the side effects I had while on it, I’m concerned about being on any antidepressants now.
  17. Hi all, new here. Looking forward to learning. Thank you !
  18. Dear Survivingantidepressants-community, during my recent problems with psychiatric drug withdrawal I have become an attentive reader of your forum - always regretting that I didn't come across it - or the philosophy behind it - before my whole story with withdrawal started. Please don't disregard my question on the basis that I'm not yet in a position to taper since I have been polydruged in hospital during an acute crisis. The crisis is now under control so I'm now able to evaluate my situation with a clear mind. To put it in very short terms: I have been on and of Escitalopram 5 mg for the entirety of my 20s and early 30s. It was prescribed for the usual mixture of panic/anxiety and depression. I never had a hard time with the drug and it always did what it was supposed to do so I remained in a state of total naiveté regarding the effects of abrupt discontinuation and reinstatement during the four or five times I tried to get rid of the drug. My luck turned in late 2023 when I went without the drug for 6 months (cold turkey) only to realize that I have developed a mild form of PSSD in the process of discontinuation. I tried reinstating the drug almost immediately at 2,5 mg (stupid, I know) which gave me serotonin syndrome, agitation and got me hospitalized. In hospital they put me on Lorazepam 4x a day 0.5 mg. First I refused to take any further antidepressants, but my depressive symptoms got out of hand quickly and I developed an episode of depressive psychosis which resulted in a drug cocktail including Risperidon, Quetiapine and Wellburtin. Leaving the basic facts behind I now want to describe the situation that puzzles me so much at the moment: My depressive symptoms are unlike any depression I have experienced so far. Wellburtin and Lorazepam have mellowed it but I still feel it underlying my current state. Far more than a reactive depression it feels like a neuro-depression, meaning that it is oddly detached from reality and seems to be a painful buzzing in my brain and chest. Now being polydruged I still feel the underlying agitation, non stop raised heart rate and pounding and I'm mostly only able to fall asleep with the help of said drugs. My question is the following one: Do you think that SSRI-Prolonged withdrawal syndrome could still play a role here? During the 6 months I went without the drug I didn't notice severe symptoms apart from the subtle ones of PSSD which took me months to even notice. Otherwise I'm at loss at explaining the weirdness and severity of my symptoms which persist even though I'm treated with anti-psychotics and benzos. Any help or suggestion is gratefully welcomed.
  19. Hi everybody, posting this here in hopes of some help with taking next steps. I was on 20mg/day escitalopram (aka lexapro/cipralex) for 3 years due to crippling anxiety that came out of nowhere (never had anxiety before), and despite taking good care of myself (sleep habits, nutritious diet, regular exercise, strong social relationships, etc), it persisted. So after 6 months, I decided to take the drug route. I didn’t notice any improvement with 10mg after a couple weeks so we upped it to 20mg (should’ve given 10mg more time). My anxiety was brought under control without any serious side effects at first. After being on it for 1-2 years, I started to notice that I was always pretty tired and increasingly apathetic despite my good lifestyle practices and having always been an energetic and motivated person. By the end of the 3rd year, I was exhausted all the time with no motivation/enthusiasm, brain fog, and would literally need a nap 3 hours after waking up from 10hrs of sleep (caffeine/stimulants didn’t make a difference). A hard workout (I am a bodybuilder (no steroids tho)) would leave me crushed for several days, like a constant hangover. I was just chronically exhausted and lethargic and, possibly by extension of that or as a separate issue, depressed and unmotivated. I did a 4-week taper from 20mg to 0mg without any issues at each reduction, spending several days at each dose to make sure I was stable before reducing again. I now know that was way too quick of a taper, but I didn’t have any adverse reactions to dose reductions, even after going down to 0mg, and my energy/mood seemed to improve at first. It has now been 7+ months since my last dose because I thought it was just a matter of time/toughing it out after you got all the way off. To make matters worse, my last doses were 10mg that I was alternating with 0mg, which I now know I shouldn’t have done. The only acute withdrawal symptom I had was some manageable vertigo, but the protracted withdrawal symptoms have been hell. Despite great life circumstances and maintaining a good quality diet, sleep habits, and exercise routine, I am now almost always: exhausted, sad/depressed, lethargic, spacey, unenthusiastic, apathetic/anhedonic, irritable, moody, and sometimes anxious (though not nearly as bad as the original anxiety that I started taking the SSRI for). I don’t really enjoy doing much of anything any more and I feel like I could sleep forever. I’m lucky to work a job that is flexible, so I don’t need to set an alarm usually and typically get 9-10hrs of sleep. I still wake up tired every day and often need naps despite never being a nap person before. My sleep quality is good (no insomnia really) My life is falling apart. I’m familiar with the waves and windows, and I’ve experienced one 2-week window, and the very rare goodish day here and there, during that 7-month period, but most days are crap . I have been tracking my mood/energy every day in a spreadsheet for last 3 months, and although I THINK I am doing a bit better now than I was during the first few months, it’s almost negligible, with awful days and chronic exhaustion still being the norm. Given that I am 7+ months in, I don’t want to quit while being so “far along”, and I know that reinstatement is less likely to work now or may even have adverse effects (kindling), but I am starting to consider getting back on a very small dose (<1mg?) to get stable again before executing a proper taper in hopes of avoiding continued PWS. I’m 25 and I’ve basically lost the last 2 years of my life, which I know is nothing compared to some of the experiences on this site, but I’m hoping to get some guidance or input here since my doctor is pretty out of the loop on SSRI PWS (his suggestion was to start taking wellbutrin/buproprion, which I would rather not gamble with). It seems to me that I’m basically deciding between the risk of reinstatement resetting my withdrawal progress and not working/making things worse OR toughing it out for who knows how long, maybe forever, and possibly getting new, even worse, withdrawal symptoms as I know there is a possibility of experiencing new withdrawal symptoms many months down the road. Some context notes: I am still able to consume most supplements (other than 5-HTP and melatonin) without any obvious adverse effects (for example, caffeine/pre-workout and nicotine gum/Zyn seem to be fine, although they aren’t as effective as they used to be) and I still lift weights very intensely since time away from training doesn't seem to help.Point being, I haven’t really been able to identify any trends as far as diet, supplementation, lifestyle habits, etc. causing waves, but perhaps it’s because I’ve been constant with everything. I also tried magic mushrooms (2g) and it had no effect acutely, although the following weeks were slightly better, that could’ve just been a natural “window”. Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I am feeling hopeless.
  20. Has anyone tried the above? i know of someone whose doctor had prescribed a couple of antidepressants that didnt work. He did the genetic testing for 300 dollars and then the doctor prescribed an older medicine which seems to be working. I read that here in BC the testing is expected to save 900 million dollars in medical costs because of the experimental method of finding the correct drug. I have been on cipralex for 20 years and it seems to work for me as it did for my mother coincidentally...
  21. It is 21 months since I ceased lexapro after 29 years use following post partum depression and am currently tapering off Diazepam and Temazepam. I was starting to see some windows some 14 months after the cessation of lexapro but strangely and distressingly after 17 months went backwards with virtually no windows and numerous symptoms since including symptoms of Akathisia. I am seeing a superb psychiatrist via zoom in Brisbane who I can recommend if required who considers my situation as protracted withdrawal however I have also recently seen psychiatrists at the 1 centre in Melbourne recently who disbelieve this diagnosis and consider it agitated depression considering my worsening situation after 17 months off lexapro and are recommending commencing an anti-depressant. From all my investigations, I believe my situation is withdrawal (from lexapro and/or the benzo's) as I have many of the reported symptoms (I have tapered down to 1.25 mg and 10 mgs temazepam daily currently for 7 months now). I am starting to question the diagnosis of withdrawal now and would like a 2nd opinion from a non-pharma obsessed psychiatrist before I consider an anti-depressant. Can anyone recommend one ideally in Melbourne, Australia or otherwise anywhere in Australia? Many thanks
  22. I took Lexapro 20 mg last year for the first time ever for situational depression and it helped. But in June 2023 I missed 3+ doses and immediately withdrawal set in. As I wanted to just get off this, at the recommendation of my psychiatrist I jumped down to 10 mg to start the taper. Terrible OCD thoughts set in and in desperation I jumped to 20, then stupidly 30, but things just got worse. I have finally landed at 10 mg and have been holding until I stabilize, 10 weeks now, as my central nervous system was very much destabilized by all of this switching doses rapidly. I had akathisia, serotonin overload, jerking of my arms and legs, hypersensitive hearing and blurry vision for about 2 weeks each. At this dose over the last 10 weeks, though, all of that has improved and stopped, which leads me to believe that I am doing the right thing by just trying to stabilize. The intrusive thoughts have been the worst part that just won't quit, and the constant shameful thoughts, me wondering "What have I done wrong, will this ever get better, will I ever be myself again?" are constant. I look for counsel from other members here who have gone through a similar thing and asking for affirmation that I am doing the right thing by holding. Tapering off is my absolute goal, but I have read enough here that I understand I need to not even begin to think about that until I have been stabilized for a good while. Thankfully, I have a very supportive family in all of this. Any comments and advice are appreciated.
  23. Hi, I’ve so desperately been awaiting the acceptance of new members. As my title states, I have accidentally kindled myself and am looking for support. I had been on Lexapro 10mg from Sept 2013 - Jan 2023. I was put on it to help my dysautonomia/POTS. It helped for a long time, but in the later years I would have break through “episodes”. Now that I know more about SSRIs from this site, I’m not sure if they were POTS related or breakthrough anxiety from getting to tolerance on the Lexapro. In 2022 I started feeling depression, which was something I had never experienced prior to being on Lexapro. I had always experienced more anxiety. I was also not as loving as I thought I should be towards my kids, so I made the decision to wean myself off in Jan 2023. I thought I had done adequate research and decided on a slow taper that lasted until April 2023, but I now know after finding this site that was still way too quick. I didn’t seem to have any immediate withdrawal symptoms. I do remember the occasional brain zap, not but they would subside before I continued to lower my dose, so I thought I was being careful. I rocked along, managing my waves of anxiety and irritability until July 2023 when the insomnia hit. At the time I was concerned I had other issues going on and didn’t realize it could be protracted withdrawal. When my old go-to’s of magnesium and ashwagandha weren’t working, and were in fact causing the opposite reaction I needed, I had no idea that the Lexapro withdrawal could be causing hypersensitivity. I worked with a naturopath (I have severe trust issues with western medicine, although I’m an RN) to try and correct any underlying problems. She suggested several supplements, which I tried. Some would work for a while and then I would become hypertensive to them or have paradoxical reactions. On Nov. 7th I accepted a full time position at the previous job I had been at and hated due to how stressful it was. The next day I was having a full on meltdown and decided I needed to get back on my Lexapro. I stupidly went to an urgent care and asked for my previous 10mg dose and they gladly gave it to me since I had tolerated it well before. On Nov. 8th I took my first dose before bed (as that’s when I used to take it) and woke up with an intense panic attack. My anxiety had intensified 10 fold the next day and I had akathisia. I decreased to 5mg for the next 3 days thinking it was too much for my system, but it was still too much for my fragile nervous system. It sent my POTS into an awful flare. I couldn’t eat without my heart rate spiking. I stopped it on Nov 12th. In those 4 days I went to a mental health nurse practitioner and she gave me vistaril for the insomnia and Xanax 0.5mg for break through panic. She also wanted to swap me to Paxil, but I was too afraid to try another SSRI. Thank God for the intuition not to try it. I took the vistaril but it made me too groggy the next day and didn’t really help with sleep. I started taking the Xanax at bedtime and it would give me about a 4 hour window of sleep. I took about 20-25 of those before I stopped and threw them away. My health anxiety was back with a vengeance. I went to a new primary doctor on Dec. 5th. He ran a whole bunch of labs that all came back normal and convinced me I really needed to be on the Lexapro. I agreed to try it back at an even lower dose and using the previous manufacture I had used in the past (part of me was convinced I hadn’t tolerated the Lexapro in Nov due to fillers in the pills). I started Lexapro 2.5mg on Dec. 5th around noon. I did ok on it for several days. I was having waves and windows of increased anxiety but was telling myself I just needed to push through it, but on Dec. 10th I determined what I was experiencing was more than just side affects. I was having an adverse reaction - increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, dilated pupils, severe anxiety, weakness. I could barely get off the couch that day. I had to go to my son’s Christmas program that night and almost couldn’t drive. I did, but probably shouldn’t have. The following day my husband and I had a long discussion and decided I needed to stop it. My last dose was on Dec. 10th. On December 12th my heart rate was in the 130s walking around (not sure if that was my POTS flare or withdrawal) and I went to see my cardiologist and was put on propranolol 20mg. Since then I’ve been in hell. My vision is blurry and I’m super sensitive to brightness. I’m dizzy most of the day. I’ve got brain fog and my brain literally hurts when trying to think and multitask. I lost about 15lbs in the time I started the Lexapro back in Nov until now due to nausea and lack of appetite. I’ve started a low histamine diet because my histamine levels are out of control and are making the anxiety worse. Sleep is not as bad as it has been, but it’s still not normal. I wake about every 1.5hrs through the night and don’t feel rested in the morning. I get severe DR/DP sometimes and it scares me to death. I’m supposed to start a new job tomorrow. During all of this I was supposed to work out a notice at my old job, but after calling in for a week I just told them I wouldn’t be able to. I’ve been off work for 3 weeks. I have to young children to care for. I’m just so scared. I don’t know what is withdrawal or what is my POTS flare anymore. I’m supposed to follow up with a dysautonomia specialist near me but I’m afraid they’ll just want to put me on more meds and my nervous system is already super sensitive. Has anyone had a similar story to mine? I haven’t come across any yet on here. I do know I’ve slowly been getting better since I stopped, so I know being off the Lexapro is the answer, but I still struggle with severe waves multiple times a day. If it weren’t for my supportive husband and the grace of God, I don’t know where I’d be. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Any advice or words of wisdom would be much appreciated.
  24. Hello! I am 34 year old female from the US and I have been taking escitalopram (Lexapro) for 1 year and 2 months for depression and anxiety. This is the only drug I am prescribed, the only drug I am on, and I don't use alcohol or other drugs. From 25-31 or 32 I was a pretty heavy drinker. I got on Lexapro at 33 (Sept 2022) due to severe anxiety and depression. I recently signed up for health insurance, but at the time of Lexapro being prescribed (10 mg), I didn't have any and I just signed up for an app called K health that a doctor prescribes you meds through a chat ( I know right). I felt in the first few months of taking Lexapro that it helped. The anxiety was completely gone, the depression was mostly gone and it was pretty much a miracle, I was really happy. Then I realized after being on 10 mg for a while its a really large dose and makes me hyper and manic ,and needing to do something all the time, which really wasn't a terrible thing, but that isn't how I want to be. I was also overly confident and mean to other people in my life. I couldn't really settle down. So after my first few months on 10 mg I reduced the dose without telling the doctor, I tried for 7.5mg. This was probably December of 2022 At this time, I was biting off the pills into what I thought was 7.5mg. So I took this for a bit and it wasn't working for me so I upped the dose while biting off the pills into what I thought was 8.5 or 9 mg. At the time I was stupid and didn't know how inaccurate I was being. When I was taking "8.5 or 9 mg" I had some pretty good days, but also, a lot things were going right in life at the time. After a while of this, I felt too hyper and manic and restless and I knew I needed to cut back (July 2023). I got a scale and it turned out I was taking much more than what I thought I was taking. I was actually taking about 10 mg, what I was prescribed. In July I reduced to 7.5, not knowing this is a huge cut and not to do that. Anyways the whole month of July was pure hell, I could hardly get out of bed, hardly do anything but work and lay down after. I work from home too, thank God, or I would have lost my job. But this is really taxing still, when you are weaning off drugs. The worst part is the intrusive thoughts about suicide, not knowing if they are even real thoughts are just self harm OCD, not finding joy in things anymore, getting older and having relationship strain due to how poorly I act on these drugs, whether on the full dose or tapering, I have a short fuse or I can't even hardly function. FYI I eat healthy, I meal prep the whole week on Sundays, I take several vitamins and supplements including the ones I see recommended here, magnesium and fish oil, I jog on the treadmill for 1/2 hour 5 days a week. My AM cortisol is really high according to a lab test I got recently. I also have low (but not severely low)vitamin D but ok Vitamin B12. So in August I upped my dose back to 8.5 mg and felt fine for a little while and I was relieved because I thought I could start a normal taper from there. This is when I found this forum and began reading it almost every day to try and gain knowledge and encouragement. SO this comes up to .113 g on the scale due to fillers in the pills. After I stablized on the .113g, maybe a few weeks or a month, I tried out .110g and later .108 g etc, (8.3mg or so) to see if I could tolerate these reductions and there were SOME good days but they were few and far between and they really only happened when I had proper sleep. Most days I wake up dreading life because my job bores the hell out of me, I have to take lexapro in the morning which makes me hate myself, my intrusive thoughts about suicide and death and people dying come in while I work, all while having a poor short term memory,a short fuse, being inattentive, sluggish and having brain fog. I take forever to get out of bed. After a little while on .108 mg I upped back to .111mg because I can't even handle the slightest reduction. I want to be on a clear cut schedule, but I don't really understand the spreadsheets on here, and I want to talk to a doctor about the liquid form of Lexapro for an easier taper, but my insurance doesn't kick in til January, For now Im still using a scale and cutting up pills every day to make the right dose. I feel like this drug and my intrusive thoughts have completely ruined my life, also I have numb lower legs and feet and I have no clue why. I feel I am in shape and physically well but not mentally well at all and it contributes to my physical health. I need so much sleep its embarrassing, it takes me forever to want to do something, to drag myself to the grocery store, I don't really like eating, cooking, or doing much anymore. I can't go on vacations like I used to, I still force myself to though occasionally, through panic and everything. My family says I am not acting right, random people in public have asked if I am ok so I must look mental or something. Is it me or the drug? I am scared of my thoughts and scared that I can never really come off this. Any help is greatly appreciated.
  25. Hello, I've read this forum for a while and it has helped me much. I've been putting off creating my own thread as getting my thoughts straight has been quite difficult. I will attempt to be as accurate as possible but some dates are estimates. I am a 24 year old male. To be brief, as a young teenager I had some trouble fitting in and this presented me with emotional difficulties, Due to prevelence of the idea in the culture, online especially I was led to believe this was something called 'depression' and the treatment was pharmaceutical drugs. At around 15 years old when school was becoming difficult I presented to mental health services seeking allieviation of my struggles. I believed I had ADHD due to difficulty concentrating and this was a popular meme online when researching difficulty with applying yourself to schoolwork and studying. Naturally I pursued medication for this also. After some tests I was diagnosed as having this condition. I was prescribed 100mg sertraline and 50mg vyvanse after some medication trials. This kind of quieted down my negative emotions for sure and it did help me concentrate somewhat on schoolwork. I took these drugs for 7-8 years. I did take a year off sertraline when going to university, but reinstated due to severe difficulties a year later. I switched this to 15mg escitalopram shortly after this reinstatement. this was roughly 2020 I think? I was on the escitalopram for a year or two but it's foggy. And I came to the conclusion it was harming my ability to feel emotions and have meaning in my life so I discontinued after a short taper. For 9 months there were tolerable symptoms such as simple low mood. Something changed at around 9 months in and I started to experience severe distortion of my cognitive functions. I was hence unable to perform but the most simple daily tasks. This was In april 2023 (this year) I believe. I found this forum and related to many of your experiences. This gave me hope for improvement. I am posting here because I am hopeful to one day find the cause of this disease and promote awareness to doctors and the public alike to the systemic changes these drugs can induce. Afterall serotonin mediates processes throughout the entire body, it is not simply the happiness switch but a key player in keeping all the systems of the body functioning properly. One idea I have had is some of these symptoms could be the result of an alteration of blood flow. Serotonin influences blood vessel tone. Reduced blood flow in the brain could explain reduced cognitive ability many experience and potentially reduced blood flow would also result in reduced erection function and PSSD. My blood vessels for example have adapted to a certain serotonin signalling over 7-8 years so it seems feasible to me. I also struggle with exercise, becoming light headed after a simple walk. My reaction time is substantially slower in video games also for example. My hands and feet are constantly cold. I can go into details with symptoms but really they are very much in common with those details by most people who are brought to this website. Anxiety and head pressure, over stimulation etc. I hope this is reasonably coherent, it is difficult! Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy