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Hey all. New here. Found this site from reddit. Visual snow is ruining my life. I could use some support and advice. My story: In 2020 I went through a bit of a hellscape (nothing in comparison really) where I was in tears regarding my health. I've always had trouble with health anxiety but it really flared in 2020, right before the pandemic. The nurse practitioner was really kind in a lot of ways and offered to put me on an antidepressant. She chose Prozac based on a Google search (red flags?) of side effects, I was having GI issues at the time and it listed less than the other she considered. I had thought about ssris for a while. Being adverse to drugs ever since a parent misused one I didn't think they were for me. But as anxiety wore me down, I thought that maybe I should give it a chance. I had no idea the world of hurt that opening this door would cascade into my life. For a few years I had success. I talked to my doctor about going off and he encouraged me not to (PNW he said his experience with tapering in winter was bad, wait for spring). So I did. And next summer I went to make an appointment. Six months wait time. -.- So I thought how hard can this be? I googled it. Looks like 4-6 weeks is recommended, and Prozac especially is 'easy to come off of'. Now you see where this is going, but you're actually wrong. I had no issues I saw in the first four months coming off. The next part gets tricky. I started having daily terrible stomach pain. It spiked my anxiety and I was constantly in the doctor. Specialists booked out 6 months again. The doctor ordered tests. Then I was told it was IBS. Tried this, tried that. I contacted the doctor a lot, and providence offered me some virtual appointments with providers as that was a lot faster than waiting for PC, and my health anxiety was through the roof. One of the providers strongly encouraged me to go back on Prozac. I didn't love the idea. Even when I picked up the prescription I looked at the bottle and decided not to take it. I wish I had dumped it down the toilet. My 'just do it' attitude won me over the next day. I thought that it's worth a try. Worst that can happen is that I come off of it for bad symptoms. Big mistake. Nothing happened immediately. A few days later I was headed to work and got distracted by the sky. I looked up and the sky glittered like gold. Oh ****. What is happening. Google informed me that the blue field entoptic phenomenon is perfectly normal. Then I found visual snow. What ensued is the worst period of my life. The bfep began to haunt me. I would journal and the other page glittered like a dragons horde. I would walk for my sanity and see a thousand stars in a cloudy day. Nowhere I go doesn't sparkle. Then I noticed it was hard to be outside, the sunshine hurt my brain. Another time I was with my partner and realized that I could see two treelines. The wall now has spots that aren't the right color. Occasionally I'll see a blob of discoloration. I went to the store and I couldn't read the cans in the soup isle. The letters I could make out but the visual stimulus hurt me in an inexplicable way. The health anxiety quicky took me to poundtown. Why did I do this to myself? Is there a solution? Desperation led to days of reading reddit forum posts. This is where I am today. Now that I know that this is a misunderstood condition, often lasting lifetimes with no real effective treatment, I just want out of whatever hell I put on myself. I want to go back to character creator and chose a different character. I want to play a different game. I'm trying everything. I talk to parents daily, hoping that they stick around for a while (they're in their 70s with lots of health conditions). I've seen three eye doctors, a neurologist, a sleep doctor, a surgeon, a nutrionalist, a dry eye specialist, a physical therapist, a vision therapist, several PCP providers and nurse practitioner, and I'm going to an EMT, sleep doctor and nuero opthalmologist. I'm also doing intensive outpatient therapy through charlie health. My symptoms: Neck pain (improved) Lightheadness (comes and goes) Stomach pain Visual discomfort Constant minor tension headache Vision ghosting/double vision constantly 1 second occasional palinopsia Afterimages that mostly distort colors Blue Field entoptic phenomenon. Everywhere. Everywhere, I can't state this enough I can only escape this in low lighting. Flashes of light when I transition from dark to light Light sensitivity Muscle twitch constantly No concentration and reading is weirdly uncomfortable I spoke to PCP about coming off and he supports that as soon as I have the surgery. Early next month most likely. Crying on the floor. This is me now. It has been for several weeks. I've lost count of how many times I've cried. Crying on the floor I'm waiting for a call back to schedule an appendectomy surgery as I'm told that I have acute appendicitis and all I can think about is that I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm in a bad place. I think I need to believe I can get better and that this isn't all that there is for me.

Early 2016 -Started fluoxetine 10 mg Late 2016 -increased to 20 mg Aug 2022 -Increased to 40 mg when hormonal birth control caused a worsening of depression. The higher dose significantly improved my mood. Jan 27, 2024 -Stopped hormonal birth control. Immediately started experiencing adverse activating effects from fluoxetine: heart palpitations, anxiety, total insomnia. Feb 24 -Started taper. Dropped by 10 mg at doctor’s recommendation (taking 30 mg). Adverse reaction began to resolve first week, though insomnia remained. March 1 -Started 12.5 mg trazodone to help with insomnia. Finally able to sleep March 6 -Onset of intense withdrawal symptoms. Restlessness, debilitating anxiety, feelings of doom and dread, agitation. Prescribed limited supply of lorazepam, took .125-.5 mg as needed (March 6, 8, and 10). By the 11th I was feeling a bit better, and withdrawal symptoms continued to gradually stabilize over the next couple weeks. I did my research and resolved to continue my taper at a much slower pace. March 19 -diagnosed with mild sleep apnea following a sleep study taken during my bout of insomnia March 23 -27.5 mg fluoxetine. Depressed and sensitive right away, though difficult to tell if from withdrawal or PMS, as my period started March 26. Mood eventually stabilized. April 3 -6.25 mg trazodone, slept without difficulty. Over the next couple days alternated between feeling hypersensitive and emotionally numb. April 6 -0 mg trazodone, slept without difficulty April 7 -flare-up of withdrawal symptoms: akathisia, intense anxiety and dread. Symptoms resolved with 0.125 mg lorazepam. Planning to reinstate trazodone tonight, as I’m assuming that’s what caused the flare. I’d neglected to think of the trazodone as an antidepressant! I am already chronically ill, so I am having to manage additional symptoms on top of withdrawal symptoms. I have been diagnosed with chronic migraine, POTS, and Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. My recent diagnosis of obstructive sleep apnea was a surprise, as I am young and slim— turns out my hypermobility puts me at a higher risk. But I’m hopeful that treating my sleep apnea will take care of many disabling symptoms I had previously associated with my migraines: poor memory, brain fog, fatigue, and never feeling well-rested even after regularly getting 10+ hours of sleep. I will be getting a CPAP machine this week. It may take some getting used to but ultimately I should be getting much better quality sleep and years of damage might be reversed. My question is, do I need to put my taper on pause while acclimating to the CPAP? I recognize that my nervous system is in a hypersensitive state and worry that any change, even a positive change like this, may disrupt things. I just don’t know to approach my other health problems in the context of tapering.

Hello everyone, I registered on this forum a while ago, and finally decided to introduce myself as I'm thinking about trying tapering from my meds again. I have read through the threads of tapering off lamotrigine and fluoxetine before but would like to hear other people's history with these meds and not just on tapering but also if you experience similar side effects(?) while on them. Here's my history of psychiatric medication (sorry that it's so long, I wanted to give all the important details) : I'm in my thirties. I've been on psych meds for three years. I was first put on them after I got a serious burn-out/depressive episode. It was most likely caused by very stressful work conditions (I am a social worker), but I remember having similar but much milder episodes before that. My main psychiatric "symptoms" were always very physical : mostly crushing fatigue, low-key anxiety that feels like tension in my chest. Mentally it's usually a lack of interest in anything and hopelessness, sometimes light derealisation. I have been on several different drugs and drug combos in varying doses (fluoxetine, lamotrigine, venlafaxine, fluvoxamine, sertraline and occasionally several benzos to deal with acute anxiety) which never "worked" or "stopped working" after a while or seemed to make things worse. Since then I went through several episodes of doing "better" and then the return of the above-mentioned symptoms. Until July 2022 when I was put on a combination of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine, which seems to be the combo that seems to be "working". This is what I am taking now. My mood is pretty stable (although kind of flat). Anxiety is low or non-existant. I can function okay on it. However I feel "off" and I have a hard time telling if it's the meds, residual "symptoms" of depression or something else altogether. I experience morning grogginess, constant light somnolence during the day, fatigue, sluggishness, muscle weakness, feeling a little "out of it", almost a little drunk, difficulty concentrating, slight memory issues and a sort of flat feeling where I don't feel particularly happy not sad. Most of the time these symptoms are light and I can function more or less normally but I have some days or periods when they become more severe and everyday life becomes more difficult, especially at work. I used too exercise a lot, for example. I used to love climbing and running and now it's too hard and not exciting at all. When I mention these thing to my psychiatrist he always seems to be slightly skeptical and keeps saying that fluoxetine is a stimulating rather then sedating drug and that lamotrigine shouldn't be causing somnolence especially at such a small dose. After doing well for several months on this combo, my psychiatrist agreed that I may taper off fluoxetine if I wanted to but insisted I stay on lamotrigine. He suggested I to do the usual alternating one pill and half a pill for a few weeks, then half a pill every day, and so on. I think I stopped fluoxetine over a period of a little over two months. I understand now that that was a very quick taper even for fluoxetine (I didn't know it then). However, I don't remember any serious withdrawal effects aside from maybe occasional slight dizziness. It seems that sleepiness and fatigue decreased at least at the beginning although didn't go away completely. After being completely off of fluoxetine for two weeks or so, I started having the depressive symptoms again which led me to believe that I really "needed" the drugs so return to my usual dose and felt better quickly but return to my usual slightly "sluggish" state. Later, when I learned about psych meds withdrawal, I started to suspect that maybe it wasn't a relapse but rather withdrawal effects from a quick taper and decided to try tapering off again but much slower. This is where I learn about antidepressant withdrawal. My psychiatrist agreed to prescribe me fluoxetine solution which allowed me to taper in a more or less recommended 10% increments. I was taping very slowly over a period of many months. Again, I don't think I had many usual withdrawal symptoms aside from some light dizziness and occasional slight agitation. But then I started to get impatient and especially started to suspect that sleepiness and sluggishness was mostly due to lamotrigine. So I started to taper off of it, at the same time (which was stupid, I realize), and very quickly (stupid) because lamotrigine pills dissolved very badly in water and I felt like I couldn't get the right dose at all. So I want from 100mg to 75mg and the after several weeks to 50mg. Again, I don't think I had any symptoms that could be attributed to withdrawal. But when fluoxetine was close to 10mg and lamotrigine at 50mg I slowly started to feel the return of depressive symptoms, and particularly the crushing mental and physical fatigue. Everything became hard again and I barely could go to work. So after struggling for many weeks I decided to return to my previous dose of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine. I started to feel better quickly. I returned to my usual sluggish state but at least I could get out of bed and go to work and be able to manage. I started to believe again I may need to take these drugs for the rest of my life. It's annoying to always be sleepy and sluggish and I still want to stop the meds. Not only because of the side effects that seem to be causing, but also become I am not sure they are "actually' helping. I don't know what to believe about the actual reasons of mental difficulties. My symptoms always feel very "physical" and I am unsure how they can be dealt with through therapy, for example. So this makes the biomedical theories sound plausible. But at the same time I've been living without meds in the past and there are so much evidence about their ineffectiveness. And I often wonder how much of its action is placebo effect in my case. So I am planning to start tapering off fluoxetine again, by 10% increments and then eventually hopefully off lamotrigine (which seems to be the recommended way). But I'm afraid to not have enough patience again, or to being unsure what are symptoms symptoms, what are withdrawal symptoms and what is normal part of ageing or some other medical problems altogether. I would like to hear other people's experiences. By the way, I take both fluoxetine and lamotrigine in the morning. I tried taking them at night or splitting the doses and it only made things worse : worsened sleep, intense and vivid dreams and increased grogginess and sleepiness.

Just came across this site, wish I saw it sooner! My primary care doctor put me on celexa 20 mg in 2012 for some mood issues. Started seeing a psychiatrist in 2016 who then put me on 40 mg celexa. Switched to effexor, not sure about dose in 2018, then switched to 10 mg prozac in 2020. Tried coming off cold turkey in 2022, was fine for 3 months then withdrawal hit, psychiatrist had me reinstate to 10mg and I stabilized. April 2023 psych had me drop 1 mg every 1 months until I got to 1 mg in December 2023. January 2024 went down to 0.5 mg then February 2024 went down to 0.3 mg. The crash came at the end of February 2024. Psych had me updose to 3 mg which I've been on for 8 days now. Thought I felt some improvement with the updose but still having periods of severe anxiety every other day. My question is should I stay on 3mg for a few weeks and see if I stabilize? Thanks for any input.

Hi there. I joined last year, but this is my first post. I'm not really sure what I hope to achieve here. Sometimes I feel so alone in this. Sometimes I just want to yell from the rooftops, warning people to stay away from Paxil. I guess this post stems from both of those statements. A little of my story- I moved to QC, Canada when I met my wife in 2002. Married quite quickly after meeting. Coming from the US, I was definitely not prepared or knew what I was in for, with a move 500 miles away to another country. Especially when it's a country within a country, so to speak, as Quebec can often be seen. Extremely long and winding story short - I became a very different person, within the first five years or so. So much I can point to now, as the catalysts for my becoming a shell of a man. I think it was mostly a perfect storm of childhood traumas, harmful paths as a young man, and high stress life circumstances as a young married man. I can honestly say my wife was not the problem. I was. But I didn't see it that way, at the time. After five years in, my wife told me she thought I needed to see a doctor. That I "needed" to be on medicine. That since my mom had mental health issues, depression etc., it ran in my family. That it was a chemical imbalance. When you break your arm, you go to the doctor, and they fix you. It's the same with mental health. These are things I completely reject now, but at the time, I needed to do something. I was becoming someone I didn't recognize anymore. Aggressive, depressed, anxiety ridden... You can't imagine how I wish I could go back to that point in time. The moment I pulled my car up to the medical clinic. I wish I could go back and tell younger me, that it was the circumstances in my life that needed to change. It was the healing I needed to do. It was the therapy I needed to seek out. Instead, I sought out a drug to "fix" me. And on top of that, one of the worst drugs in the ssri family you could possibly take. One of the hardest to get off of. One with the worst side effects. One that would change my life... But not for the better. I went into a clinic and had a seven-minute conversation with a GP that obviously was there at a drop-in clinic for some extra side cash. "Do you feel down?" Yes, I said. "Do you lash out?" Yes. "Does your mother take any anti-depressants?" Yes. "Here's a prescription". I'll sum up my years on Paroxetine. It gave me all the typical side effects, but it seemed to help with my anxiety. It did not make me feel happy. It did, however, seem to blunt my emotions. Which I suppose could be interpreted as "helping" with being depressed. Over the years, I'd start feeling confused as to why I'm not feeling happy. Why I'm still having moments of lashing out. Why I can't seem to click into life the way I see others can. Just always feeling like something was just wrong with me. So, I went back, upped the dose a couple times. Over the years, I tried to get off of it. The very first time, was cold turkey. I was NEVER told by the doctor about ANY negative side effects, and that coming OFF of Paxil can be difficult. I knew nothing of tapering, withdraw, discontinuation syndrome... None of it. I remember having the extreme zaps, the suicidal ideations... I went back on. I tried to get off a few other times and couldn't ever do it. I've been off of Paxil for about half a year. I'm definitely experiencing withdraw. I'm so thankful I'm off of it though. Because I know what I lost while on it. I've come to realize that so much of my impulsive behaviors, risky behaviors, emotional indifference can be traced back to being on Paxil. I went from a man with a wife, three kids, to currently alone. I've lost it all. The things I've done, and said, and thought over the years are unfathomable to me now. It's as if I've awoken from a nightmare. And I don't mean that figuratively. I mean it literally feels like I'm awake after over a decade of dreaming. I left my wife seven years ago. A woman who stood by me through it all. Who had to suffer alongside a man who became a shell. I did things over the years on Paxil, that when I think of now, makes me actually ill. I can't believe the person I was. I can't believe the decisions I made. I can't believe how numb and callused I was towards her, my kids, and really my own life and self. Basically, what I've realized, is that Paxil did nothing to "fix" me. All the problems that weighed on me and my heart/mind/soul, never went away. I just was able to numb myself a little more towards them. Sometimes now drug-free, a memory will pop up and I'll see it and feel it in a completely different way than I did at the time. It's hard to explain. It's like I think about my life and see a movie played out, by an actor that looks like me, but isn't me. I'm angry. Angry at Paxil, angry at that doctor... I feel I've lost years and years of my life. Years I won't get back. But alongside that anger, I have empathy. Empathy for myself. I'm trying to balance guilt and sadness, with empathy and hope. I'm in the process of working this all out. Maybe someday I will have my family together again, intact, by the grace of God and clear mind. I've talked with her about a lot of this, and she seems to understand how these brain and body altering drugs can play a part in the downfall of a person. Discovering Dr Roger Mcfillin, and many others has been a game changer for me, personally. Also moving towards God and His grace and forgiveness. Redemption. Things I never cared about really, and eye rolled over. For those of you who have lost during your time on one of these drugs- I know how you feel. We must take responsibility for our actions and life choices, but to deny that Paxil didn't have a role in this for ME, would be a gross mistake. I'll post more as I continue this journey in healing. As I said, I am experiencing prolonged withdraw, and I'll share more another time. Love to you all. Have hope.

I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years

Sorry that this is really long and rambley. I have a lot to unpack... Hello, I am a 17-year-old male teenager and I've been on antidepressants since I was 12. I remember when me and my class went on a few days long school trip at the end of my last year of elementary school and I felt sad the entire time. Back then even I wasn't really sure where it came from, but I attributed my feelings to homesickness, as I had never been on that kind of trip before. But even when I came back home, that sadness didn't disappear. That was probably when I first noticed that something was "wrong". The sadness and sense that something was horribly wrong would persist for my entire summer break. But I ignored all of it and insisted to myself that everything would be back to normal once I started middle school. These feelings of melancholy weren't abnormal for me during long summer breaks, and it would all disappear once school started again. Surely once school started , I would become happy again right? Wrong. The first day of school I was filled with a bunch of overwhelming emotions I couldn't process. The second day my mind burst and I was left sobbing in the shower. The next few months would be an excruciating hell filled with frequent crying spells, anhedonia, and just general awfulness. My feelings were completely out of control. Sometimes I would feel happy, sometimes I would feel absolutely miserable. The whole time I was agonizing over what could've possibly been causing all this. I told my doctor that I thought my feelings were due to puberty. He dismissed it. He suggested it was due to the singulaire I've been taking, but that ended up not being the case either (I guess it could be, but why would it start being a problem now when I've been taking singulaire my whole life? I abandoned this train of thought long ago) My depression continued even after I stopped taking singulair. The uncertainty over what caused my depression just made it worse. And just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it all culminated into one random really bad day, when all of a sudden I lost my sense of self and my sense of reality. I was in the school nurse's office awakwardly explaining to the lady what was going on in my mind (or lack thereof) like an idiot. Then I was face up on a bed in that office emptily wondering if I had gone mad. Then I was at home in bed. All that time wondering, "How did I get here?" Nothing felt real. My sense of "self" returned, only to allow me to experience the most tortorous time in my life. I was panicking and crying like crazy for days, all over delusions of solipsism and the feeling that I was secretly living in a TV show my whole life without me knowing until recently. My vision was filled with static. I looked online, it was called visual snow. Everything looked far away, sounded far away, felt far away. Living with these symptoms for years have caused me to grow used to it, but back then I couldn't handle it. I was so done with everything, I just wanted to give up. I remember one day my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a buddhist temple to pray. It was so out of nowhere and I would've normally declined. But I had nothing better to do, everything was pointless, so I went anyway. I started taking antidepressants when I would've refused to before. I remember taking my first pill of lexapro, immediately feeling sleepy, then passing out and having the most vivid lucid dream I've ever had and probably will ever have. Then after a day, I would feel absolute euphoria for the next few weeks. It was so surprising! But then that euphoria would disappear to be replaced by mundane nothingness. I complained at first, but eventually I would grow to accept that feeling nothing was better than feeling miserable. Still, I never figured out where that initial burst of happiness came from. My best bet was divine intervention, that by praying in front of a Buddhist statue had obtained me a blessing from some higher being. It was ridiculous, but I had nothing else. All these years later and I haven't figured out what caused my depression either. Was it the emotional gut punch from the sudden realization that life wasn't all sunshine and rainbows like naive little kid me thought? Was it the intense pressure of entering adolescence and starting middle school? Was it due to puberty, like what I initially thought, all those years ago? The last one was unlikely. I think about it a lot, what could've possibly caused all this?Oftentimes I've been satisfied with my rationalizations. But ultimately, I still don't know. Fast forward to October of 2023 and I've made the decision to taper (again). I told my psychiatrist that I wanted to go off slowly, much more slowly than last time. But I made one crucial mistake. I forgot to request liquid medication. I wanted to wait until my next appointment to get my liquids before I begin tapering, but my mom forced me to decrease by 10mg monthly with the physical pills. By the time my next appointment rolled around, my 80mg of Prozac had decreased to 60mg. I finally got my liquid medication, but ultimately decided to pause tapering to exhaust all of the physical pills from my previous prescription before continuing a 10% taper with the liquid. Everything was fine, at least at first. This January, I read a visual novel Umineko: When They Cry. It was absolutely life-changing, hands-down the best fiction ever. One character in particular really resonated with me, with their struggles with gender dysphoria. I am nonbinary, but I haven't had any desire to change my body in any way or become more feminine. I found it strange how attached I've grown to this character, but I figured it was just that Umineko magic. But the more I obsessed and cried and the more that my feelings became disconnected from what I thought was the "source", the more that I, once again, felt that something was horribly wrong. It began in February, two months after my previous dose reducing, and it's continued until now. My mood is out of control. Feelings of depression come and go. I want to believe it's all withdrawal. But what scares me is that it feels exactly like my initial depression five years ago. I would be comfortable dismissing it all as due to withdrawal if it all came out of nowhere. But that's the thing, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like there's something weird happening in my brain, weird emotions, but with no thoughts. But other times I spiral and there are thoughts attached to those emotions. Thoughts about how I hate my body, my body hair, my fat, how I wish I had boobs. Just intense gender dysphoria out of nowhere! I've questioned if I'm a trans girl before but never so desperately. I can't describe it all that well unless I'm experiencing it in the moment. I'll probably come back here again to post while I'm spiraling. When I'm in a calmer state, like now, it makes me feel really stupid, like I'm worrying over nothing. But I know it does happen, and it'll most likely happen again sometime in the near future. But why? Could gender dysphoria be a symptom of withdrawal? I don't think that's how that works, right? Could I have been repressing it for a long time? But how? I think back to all those years ago, when I told my doctor about my symptoms, said that I thought it was due to puberty, only for him to dismiss my conjecture. Could 12-year-old me back then have been right all along? What if the hormones from puberty gave me dysphoria, which I couldn't process or express at the time because I had no idea about what being trans is, then antidepressants caused me to bury and repress that dysphoria, only for it to resurface and relapse once I'm slowly getting off them? Is this theory too crazy to be true? Am I too desperate too make things make sense? I'm not sure how "connected" this dysphoria is to my actual emotions, so maybe I'm just deceiving myself. I don't know, I keep switching back and forth between withdrawal and relapse. It's so confusing. I feel like an idiot now because I'm in a calm state. But once I spiral the uncertainty becomes unbearable, so I really need to figure this out.

My story is as follows: since 2012 I was living in constant stress and had huge business and responsibilities. I started to treat my stress by drinking wine. Then I decided to quit meat, and developed anemia. Since my body was weak, I had UTI and various inflammations in kidneys and gut. I was prescribed with antibiotics for 8 months; they totally destroyed my microbiome. Occasionally I was feeling sad from time to time, and at such moments was drinking wine. I know why I started feeling sad, as I was using wine as my coping mechanism to deal with stress, and wine is a big depressant and destroys your microbiome. On 2021 I started having anxiety. I was prescribed with antipsychotic Fluanxol and diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression. After 3 days anxiety was gone. But after 3month I developed depersonalization and feeling strange like depressed and my doctor said that depression is getting worse and I need SNRI- Cymbalta( duloxetine). I became suicidal and total zombie. After 1,5month she told me to CT, and prescribed Cipralex I developed: anxiety extreme one, vomiting, diarrhea, zombie feeling. After 1,5 month she told me to CT, then I was prescribed valdoxan it did nothing to me. Then I was prescribed mirtazapine, since all the polydruging I developed real depression and anhedonia. On the top they prescribed be Prozac. On Prozac I was getting slightly better, they upped the dose after one year to 60mg and felt even better but anhedonia and dysphoria were never gone. Now I am tapering mirtazapine since 2023 April, so since April from 45mg to 15mg reached now already. All was good for 2 months( November, December) even anhedonia was gone, but I was not tapering it as I was In Bali. Now when I started tapering again in December, withdrawals started to affect me on 27 January, 3 days bad 4 days good, again 4 days bad 10 days good, now when I reached 15mg I started having panic attacks. Does it sound for you like I have bipolar? I went to new psychiatrist today as I was feeling very scared of panic attacks and he said all these med did not help you initially as you are BIPOLAR. So now he wants me to prescribe 0lanzapine for 2 months meanwhile to CT mirtazapine and Fluanxol. And then after 2 months to stop olanzapine and Prozac and start lamotrigine. I am going insane, crying nonstop. Can I be Bipolar? Or is it that withdrawals mimic some other illnesses. I don’t feel that I was bipolar before meds I was just sad- and reason was too much wine. Anxiety was as a side effect of antibiotics in 2021. Please help going insane. Also what to do I reduced mirtazapine 10% every 3 weeks, now 2 weeks past the last reduction and I am having panic attacks every day and anxiety, depersonalization. Should I wait or should I up dose? Should I slow down with my taper and do 10% every 4-6 weeks? Please help

hello. I would like some advice about my case. In 2021 I started my journey on antidepressants with paxil 12.5mg for anxiety and the adaptation was very smooth and I got along really well with the medication. My anxiety symptoms have practically disappeared. In December 2022 I weaned as I no longer had any symptoms. However, in March 2023 my anxiety returned very strongly to the point where I couldn't even eat properly and the psychiatrist said to go back on paxil 12.5mg. It turns out that the adaptation was horrible and had a lot of side effects, but after about 2 and a half months the side effects stopped but I didn't feel a big improvement in anxiety or OCD. The psychiatrist asked to increase the dosage to 25mg, but unfortunately the amount was too expensive for me as I am unemployed and so I asked her to switch to another medication and she prescribed fluoxetine 20mg. After about 4 months with paxil 12.5mg I weaned and felt good for about 6 months with some ups and downs. Anyway, the anxious symptoms started to return with force again and I started taking fluoxetine, but I'm experiencing a lot of side effects, especially on appetite and anxiety. Do you think it is safe to continue taking it? I'm afraid I messed up my brain or something.

Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History

Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Hello all, I have been reading this site for awhile but recently decided to join. Please forgive me for any misspellings or anything poorly written as my brain is not what it once was as a result of these drugs. Even finding the motivation to write this post took me multiple days. My parents were very pro-medication at a young age, I developed OCD around age 10 and took Zoloft for approximately 2 years as I was told I needed it to get better. I was also on Ritalin from age 5-13. I went through most of high school and college unmedicated, until the end of college around age 21 deciding to seek out adderall again as my grades were starting to take a hit. I also had a breakup at the time and a doctor put me on 40mg fluoxetine (prozac). I wasn't even that sad but he said it would help take the edge off. I didn't think twice about this drug after taking it, and somehow ended up taking it for the following 10 years. Fast forward to age 31 (about 1.5 years ago) Things were going incredibly well in my life, recently married, job going well, driven and enjoying life, and I looked at my pill one day and thought, Why am I still taking this? I learned about the long half life of this drug and since I was told 10mg was the lowest dose, I asked my doc to change to 10mg which he did without a real question. I went from 40 to 20 to 10 in about a month, and then started taking the 10 every other day, every third day, every 4 days, and so on, until I got to one pill every two weeks. Since this was the minimum dose, I figured this was the most drawn out "taper" possible. I took my last pill somewhere around October of 2022 and oddly enough, the 2-3 weeks that followed were incredible. Life was brighter than it had ever been, I was happy and motivated to take my life to even another level i had not yet experienced. About one month off the drug, I started to notice some very strange effects. My body and mind did not feel right. I had extreme mood swings and fatigue, complete loss of libido that has never returned, and other symptoms. I got my testosterone tested and it was very low, in the first percentile for my age. Health is my biggest passion and I had done nothing to cause this, I had continued my extremely healthy eating, active lifestyle, great sleep etc so I found this very odd. I eventually went back on the drug for approximately 1.5 months to see if it helped with my issues and libido (and I had genital numbness), but it didn't seem to make any meaningful difference (I also dont think I tried it long enough) so I did the same "taper" again around Feb of 2023. Looking back my taper was probably more of a cold turkey than a taper, given my last dose was still a full dose (10mg). My testosterone level started to improve, but not without a ton of other symptoms coming and going over time. Whole body pains, cognitive issues, weird mental issues like extreme difficulty making decisions among other things. This has been an ever evolving range of symptoms, with some things sticking around changing in severity and others coming and going. My current symptoms which have been around for quite some time are an extreme lack of motivation and a strong sense of apathy. This is also accompanied by severe anhedonia. Every simple task has become difficult, and I often feel like I am stuck in the mud with the way I interact with the world in my new state. I struggle to work my job in whhich I have been a high performer for many years, and I require a lot of daily assistance from my wife and father. I feel like a burden on those around me, I am no longer the same person and I keep desperately searching and trying to find that person again. I have considered a reinstatement, but do not want to slow down my recovery - but at this point I am getting kind of desperate for some relief. It is hard to say if I have experienced any real windows, but I guess things are changing, even if not for the better, which signals something is going on in my body. I continue to care for my body in every way imaginable from a great diet, sleep, exercise. However I am sure there are other things I could be focusing on to heal more quickly. Open to any and all suggestions or advice. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

Hello everyone, I am new to this site, and hoping to get some advice from anyone who is experienced in tapering off fluoxetine. I have been on this for 2 years, 20mg the first year and 40mg the second year. My doctor advised me to change my doses daily from 40mg to 20mg on alternating days. Its been three weeks, and I have had huge amounts of anxiety return, I am super irritable, finding it hard to concentrate at work, and my dreams have been incredibly vivid, and have had loads of crying spells. I have heard of people advising to taper down by 10 percent a month to avoid withdrawal, and so looking for some advice from someone who might have experienced this first hand. Wondering if what I am experiencing right now is withdrawal or relapse. Thank you x

Hi, Im 66 yrs old and I just know basic computer so this site is hard for me especially since im severely damaged from too fast a taper and not going slow taper so I know Im doing everything wrong. Please bear with me. I took 20mg Prozac for 26-27 years. Up to this point I was healthy and happy but wanted to get this drug out of my body. I cut the Prozac to 10mg starting Mar 2022 thru Aug 2022. finally stopped Aug 1st2022. During this time horrible insomnia and crazy energy but thought it would go away. Jan 2023 my already severe insomnia got worse averaging 14 hours each week, crazy energy, brain wouldnt shut off cant think, akathesia in body I dont have to pace all the time just some. In Mar 2023 I tried 20mg Prozac for 13 days but it made me more hyper so stopped. I also started getting many UTI's and took lots of antibiotics May 2023 I started getting severe anxiety(never had anxiety before) extreme severe depression, couple months ago started getting night terrors(never had this in my life) extreme suicidal ideation. Cant concentrate to read a book eyes dart back and forth. This is so unbearable day after day. Tiniest bit of stress sets me off. I know all the drugs that I tried were bad for me but I was desperate Ambian 7.5 and doubled dose took maybe 8 times only got 4 hours sleep and made depression worse so stopped. Belsomra 20mg put me to sleep 2 times but didnt work after that and caused depression tryed this about 5 times and stopped. Trazadone 300mg for sleep I got about 6 hours but caused worse depression so I stopped took this about 12 times. Klonopin .5 doubled dose Tried just about every supplement for sleep worked at first but stopped. Im hoping to please get support and looking for people who have taken the drug 25+ yrs and healing. Im fighting for my life

Posting on behalf of my partner who I am caring for through withdrawal and tapering. He is not in a good place to be on the internet much currently but we have questions and still need support, so I am posting for him (hope that's okay). Anytime I say "we", I am referring to my partner and I as we've discussed and strategized together. Longer-form version of his drug history: 2008-2012: Fluoxetine for 4 years during high school Doesn't remember exact dose but likely 10mg Had a really easy time discontinuing in 2012 when he wanted to stop taking it. Doesn't remember if he stopped cold turkey or did any kind of taper at the time 2016: Fluoxetine 20mg for a few months, around age 21 Remember it being easy to start without bad symptoms from updosing Was experiencing sexual side effects and stopped cold turkey Remembers it being "medium" difficult to stop. Mostly some increased depression for a period after stopping, but nothing close to what he is going through right now with citalopram 2018-2020: Began citalopram 20mg for depression and anxiety after difficult life events. Wanted to avoid fluoxetine due to sexual side effects Severe depression as side effect from updosing when originally starting. Remembers it being about a month of the worst depression he had ever felt up to that point, worse than the depression that led him to take it in the first place. Then was at 20mg for a few years after stabilizing Jan - Mar 2020: Was feeling happy, wanted to discontinue citalopram. Psychiatrist said the 20mg dose was so low that he could just stop cold turkey, but that he could do a few cut and holds if he wanted to be extra cautious. After cutting to 15mg, was feeling agitated for months Mar 2020 - Jul 2023: Decided to reinstate the 20mg citalopram and micro-taper Got liquid form of citalopram and tapered from 20mg -> 5mg over a few years, with some holds along the way Mar 2023: Began feeling regularly agitated. This was around the time of an injury and some other difficult life circumstances that challenged his mental health routine, so he thought maybe he needed a higher dose. Bumped up to citalopram 7mg all at once Jul 2023: Was still feeling regularly agitated. (In retrospect, we're pretty confident the agitation beginning in mar 2023 was poop-out) Bumped up to citalopram 10mg all at once This bump up was severely destabilizing. Began experiencing panic attacks, chest pain, and higher anxiety (had never had panic attacks or chest pain from anxiety before in his life, so these were brand new as a result of the updose). Started taking hydroxyzine 25mg or 12.5mg regularly as needed to manage the heightened anxiety, and propranolol 10mg or 5mg very occasionally as needed to prevent/manage panic attacks Determined the citalopram had probably been pooping out before bumping up. Made a plan with psychiatrist to switch to fluoxetine in the short-term to get off the citalopram, and then eventually taper off the fluoxetine since he had gentler reactions to fluoxetine in the past when starting & stopping Plan was to make the switch in January 2024 - this was due to some planned life events that made it inconvenient to switch sooner, and because the poop-out symptoms seemed somewhat manageable in the short term Around November-December, the poop-out symptoms were worsening again and we determined he needed to make the switch sooner Psychiatrist was concerned about serotonin syndrome and did not want him to take fluoxetine and citalopram simultaneously. Instead they wanted him to do a clean switch, taking 10mg citalopram one day and then fully switching over to 10mg fluoxetine the next day (with 0 citalopram from that point on) Dec 21 - 25 2023: Began the "clean switch" Began feeling some moderate withdrawal symptoms after a couple of days By Dec 25 the withdrawal became severe, both physically and mentally. During a peak wave of uncontrollable shivers, headache, nausea, chest pain, insomnia, severe anxiety and depression we decided to reinstate 2mg citalopram. Within an hour of reinstating the worst of the physical symptoms had significantly lessened - especially the shivers, headache, and nausea. The anxiety and depression also lessened. Dec 26 2023 - present: Have been taking 2mg citalopram (1mg morning and 1mg nighttime), 10mg fluoxetine Taking 25mg or 12.5mg hydroxyzine as needed, generally totaling about 37.5-75mg daily depending on the day Also taking 0.125-0.5mg lorazepam occasionally as needed, not every day. Has been about a few days per week. From Dec 26-Jan 2, it seemed like things were improving. We starting tracking FINISH a few times a day and he was doing better than he had been at the peak waves before we reinstated the citalopram. But since January, most of the withdrawal symptoms have plateaued. The physical symptoms have improved a lot: headache and nausea are almost nonexistant now, and dizziness has steadied at a low-medium level. But ever since those lessened, he has been having more insomnia, and constant and severe anxiety daily, accompanied with chest pain and stomach pain, and occasionally a more severe bout of panic. This has also begun being accompanied with increasing depression, often at the same time as waves of panic or severe anxiety. The depression is increasing day by day from the despair and exhaustion from the prolonged physical and mental pain with no improvement on any of the withdrawal over the last two weeks. For the first time in his life, this has brought on questions of his will to keep on trying during his worst waves. He is running out of steam and feeling very scared and demoralized. Our immediate goal: We want to try to get him stable on 2mg citalopram in the short-to-medium term (from there, we will begin a very slow micro-taper from the citalopram, but for now we are just struggling to stabilize). This is complicated by the fact that the citalopram has been pooping out since Mar 2023, which may also be contributing to the plateau in any improvement on the withdrawal symptoms. We're trying to use strategies other than drugs as much as we can. We are both taking medical leave. We're being strict about our bedtime routine, eating extremely healthy with tons of fruits and veggies daily and little-to-no processed foods, getting out for two walks outside daily, meditating 1-2 times daily, doing yoga at home, avoiding stressful or over-stimulating activities. We are visiting his family until things improve, for extra help with care and morale. These things are making a difference, but even with them we are in the current state. We don't want to increase the citalopram any more, (a) because he seems to have a severe kindling effect from any dose changes to citalopram and (b) because it's pooping out so updosing may not do much to help anyways, even in the short-term He would like to increase his fluoxetine dose to 20mg to help stabilize, provide some relief on the sooner side for the anxiety and depression, and hopefully continue to help with some symptom relief when he eventually tapers off of citalopram. We know that he's had a gentler reaction to fluoxetine starting & stopping in the past, which we feel makes it an okay strategy for him to use as an intermediate step. We're also hoping increasing the fluoxetine can allow us to eliminate the lorazepam sooner - although he isn't taking it daily, we know it is highly habit-forming and would like to remove it before anything else. But in his current state, it's the only thing that has been able to get him through his worst waves. Our primary question-area for now (we'll probably have more later): We're trying to figure out how to updose the fluoxetine, assuming that we do. What we're considering: All-at-once updose to 20mg pros: get it over with; less time spent going through any updosing effects after getting past updosing effects, will get to any relief it provides sooner cons: could be very destabilizing updose very slowly, basically a micro-increase pros: likely less destabilizing if it ends up providing some therapeutic effect at a dose lower than 20, he could stop there at a lower dose cons: if there are still some negative effects to updosing, those would be drawn out over a long period of time likely will take longer to get a therapeutic effect from the drug to get relief from the citalopram withdrawal/poop-out. in the meantime, his anxiety and depression is already severe and worsening day by day rather than improving middle ground?? target 20mg, but updose over a few weeks by 0.5mg/day or similar pros: maybe still less destabilizing than the all at once updose? still get to some therapeutic effect sooner than the micro-increase version cons: could still end up being destabilizing, and then just prolong the destabilized period Questions: In your experience, does kindling tend to be specific per drug, or have you tended to find that when somebody develops a kindling reaction to one drug, they also begin to have kindling reactions to other psychiatric drugs including those that they haven't had severe reactions to in the past? We have read the reinstatement advice which says that increasing a dose after reinstatement should be extremely cautious and slow due to the likely kindling effect. But are there any general patterns or learnings around how best to increase dosage of a medicine in general, when not referring to a drug that you're already hypersensitive to? Any other advice on stabilizing for his particular situation?

I am searching for a Dr or NP that is familiar with Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome in the Dallas-Fort Worth area of TX. I discontinued Prozac in August of 2022. I forgot to bring my meds when i went out of state, and then my hubby also forgot them. I thought I was doing OK, and since I planned on starting TMS, I decided to not restart Fluoxetine. I had 2 suicide attempts about a month later, and was hospitalized. Various DR'S have started and stopped a myriad of drugs over the last year. I was finally given Fluoxetine after about 8 mos, but now it does not seem to be working.

Note: I had surgery recently so it is hard for me to type. So I am using voice to text on most of this. 30 year old male Motivation: I just do not like being dependent on the drug. Also, the wife and I are planning on trying to conceive soon and I don't think at least from my research that being an SSRI is helpful. I actually am curious if anyone knows whether or not there's any effect on the actual baby itself if the father's on medication I do see some research that suggests that it's harder to conceive but I'm not sure if it actually affects the outcome of the baby. I have started my taper as of this week with the guidance of my psychiatrist to get off 20 milligrams of fluoxetine which I've been on for about six years and nine years total for fluoxetine. The strategy she proposed was the following: week 1: one day of 10 milligram tablet 6 days of 20 milligram capsule Week 2: two days of 10 milligram tablets and five days of 20 milligram capsules week 3: three days of 10 milligram tablets and four days of 20 milligram capsules week 4: four days of 10 milligram tablets and three days of 20 milligram capsules week 5: 5 days of 10 milligram tablets and two days of 20 milligram capsules week 6: six days of 10 milligram tablets and one day of 20 milligram capsules week 7: only seven 10 milligram tablets I think this is better than most doctor's recommendations to be honest and for Prozac it might even work. However, the stories in here make me want to go ahead with the liquid solution and I think I was going to continue with 18 milligrams for a month and see how that goes because I had already started her regiment of week 1 and so that is very close to 10% anyway even if it's not as consistent. If anyone sees this I would appreciate any feedback on this approach. Thanks!

Hey guys, So i was on Sertaline a few years ago it worked perfectly. Then i came off it. Anytime i tried to go back on it, i had an intense reaction where i couldnt sleep and felt extremely agitated and wired. Then this happened again with prozac (Fluoxetine), and then i panicked and went to the hospital and got put on seroquel for 6 weeks. Following this I decided to stop as it was a horrible drug. When i stopped I could no longer sleep. Now, 6 months later I was slowly getting my sleep back little by little. Until 4 days ago. I was feeling ill and decided to try Prozac again to see if my symptoms were a result of withdrawal from these meds. I literally opened the pill and licked a tiny bit (few mgs probably) then i had an extreme reaction to this and the last 3 nights I have slept 1 hour each night. I feel terrible again and I am so angry that I've done this and worried I've gone back to square 1 with my sleep. Prozac has a long half life, will this go when it is out of my body or have i put myself back to the beginning again with this reaction? Today is day 4 since taking and my pupils are still huge, i still feel incredibly wired and awful. Thanks Dylan

About three years ago, I went to a new psychiatrist, highly recommended by my therapist, to ask him about getting off the venlafaxine and clonazepam I was put on 20 and 15 years ago. When I left I had two new prescriptions: bupropion and lamictal. He thought I was severely depressed. The lamictal was supposed to counteract the effects on adrenaline production of long-term use of venlafaxine. It worked overnight. I enjoyed a few years of relatively good mood. I was also 3 years sober then, and now 6.5 years. Quitting all psychotropics has been on my mind for years. An early experience with Paxil in the 1990s--I took it for maybe a month, tops, but it made me groggy. I became sicker than I'd ever been--flat on my back with vertigo, horrible nightmares, and continuous nausea, as well as the brain stuff. Lucky for me, all this cleared up after about a week. Of course any doctor I spoke to about this had no idea. I am here to learn about weaning, and to find support for making a decision and beginning the baby steps.

Hi all, I have come to this website fairly late (I hope) in my journey with psych meds. I no longer take anything, but 9 weeks from my last dose of Fluoxetine I am still suffering bad waves/windows. Until May of this year, I was still suffering badly with waves/windows from Diazepam withdrawal, which began properly in June 2022. I have been off work pretty much since then. Things got a good bit better between May and August, more like a higher baseline of anxiety/vulnerability to stress, rather than the waves/windows pattern. During this time, I was doing Neurofeedback and the ketogenic diet (thanks to Dr Chris Palmer's excellent book). I was able to do a speech at a family gathering, which feels unthinkable now. In June, I started tapering from Fluoxetine, 20mg (my history with which you can see in my signature), using the liquid solution, reducing by 2mg every 3 weeks. I now realise that was too fast. In mid-August I started getting waves again. I had not done nearly as much reading into SSRI withdrawals as I had with benzos, so I assumed it was the Diazepam waves coming back (which Ashton says can happen), but then at the end of August I got one of my worst waves ever for about 4 days: suicidal depression, 0hr sleep (even during worst of benzo withdrawal I could get 2-3 hours a night), tremors, agitation. At the time, I believed that was because I was given a different brand of the liquid solution - I thought maybe more of the active ingredient was getting into my system somehow, causing serotonin syndrome (because of the tremors). But now having read about the dangers of linear tapering I am guessing that it was withdrawal from Fluoxetine, and my cliff edge was around 10mg, made worse as I was/am not yet fully recovered from the Diazepam withdrawal. However, at that stage I decided to just to jump from 10mg, partly influenced by doctors who said that would be fine. I have now read about the need to do hyperbolic tapering, but I am where I am - 9 weeks off and I do not really wish to reinstate. I am having waves/windows every 3 days, which is very different from Diazepam - that was more like 3 week waves, 1 week windows - but they do seem to be just as severe, particularly the depression. I realise that I am perhaps lucky that I was on Fluoxetine rather than another SSRI (I am well over a year out from stopping Mirtazapine, so I don't think that is likely to be playing a role still). I am interested to hear any indications/opinions from folks on here as to how long it may be before the waves disappear and I return to my previous level of function. I am encouraged by the fact that although they are regular/severe, the waves do seem to have identifiable triggers rather than totally random. This is embarrassing, but I have found that one definite trigger is orgasm/ejaculation. In that process, there is a huge release of dopamine, followed by a decrease but also an increase of a hormone called prolactin which at a high enough level can cause psychosis. I am thinking my dopamine levels/receptors are just too low, because dopamine restrains prolactin production. You may ask, why not abstain? But another clear symptom of my withdrawal is uncontrollable nocturnal emissions, which I didn't even have in my teenage years - roughly once a week, followed by a 3-day wave. I did not have obvious sexual dysfunction while on Fluoxetine, but I am thinking that this symptom is some kind of rebound hypersexuality. Finally, the other clear triggers for symptoms are sweet foods and stress. Thanks for reading - I wish you all continued, and quick, healing.

Hi, As I tried to state in my signature, I have been on Viibryd for 7-8 years at varying rates but 10-30mg. I determined back in January 2023 that I wanted to get off the medication as my life was stable and I wanted to get pregnant in the near future and Viibryd is not approved for pregnant women. My doctor directed me to go off the meds in two weeks, but I knew from experience that I could feel Viibryd withdrawals very soon after missing a dose. I began a self-directed taper (prior to finding this site but reading about it on Reddit). I did 10mg to 5mg to 2.5 mg for one month each. I was doing okay with the taper until I got to 2.5 mg and I wasn't settling out. I called my doctor and he put me on 10mg of Prozac as a bridge and then i just stopped the Prozac. I then began to experience the withdrawal symptoms from April 2023 until I decided to reinstate Prozac (approved for pregnancy) in August 2023. I reinstated per my doctor's directions of 20mg of Prozac. I took it for about 8 days and felt totally sick, which I believe was kindling. I stopped taking it at day 8 and let it naturally taper out of my body. Around day 14 of the natural taper, I started to feel alright and wished I could bottle that drug level in my system to use as a starting point for reintroduction. Almost 3 weeks to the day since I stopped the 20mg of Prozac, I began to have major withdrawal symptoms. This time iI had a bit of a plan and I reinstated with 0.5mg of Prozac and I have been taking that for 6 weeks now. It helped at first with mitigating the dizziness and keeping the bottom from falling out with mood swings and suicidal ideations. However, I'm starting to feel quite jittery and anxious again and the dizziness is back. My plan was to hold at 0.5mg of Prozac until the end of the year and then begin a 10% taper from there. I'm wondering if: -Is 0.5mg of Prozac the proper dose? -Could my issue be that I'm still withdrawing from Viibryd and I'm just compounding it with Prozac? -Should I just stop all meds altogether? -I have had some recent major life events that are causing me anxiety so should I just hold here? Even though I'm not totally stable? -I drink alcohol daily. Around 4oz of vodka. Since the life events, I have been waking in the middle of the night around 3am with a pounding heart and anxiety. Is this due to the alcohol? Or is it due to the Prozac and the levels it's at? I have been drinking daily throughout this whole ordeal so I don't see that as a changed variable but it certainly could be. -I would eventually like to quit birth control. Is there a good or better time to do that? -Other medications I take daily are: famotidine and zyrtec Thank you for your help.

I new to participating in the forum type sites so please forgive me if I’m doing this wrong. Anyway I started to have what I think is brain zaps a month and a half ago not really knowing what it was but from all the research I’ve done it’s the only thing that makes sense. I stopped taking paroxetine 40mg tablets and started taking fluoxetine 40mg. Wishing 2-3 days I started to notice this, it caused me to panic and spiraled from there. I stopped the fluoxetine and went back to the paroxetine and finally a couple weeks ago started to feel pretty good again. After talking to my doctor decided to try the fluoxetine again because I had been to my primary doctor, an ENT, and had an MRI done because we all thought the off balance feeling I would get was something else going on like some kinda inner ear problem. Anyway I tried it again because I was feeling the best I had felt in the last two months and wanted to fast track the feeling better process and get back to work and that was a horrible mistake. What I think are brain zaps came right back and that’s my biggest issue. It’s like if I try to do to much and I’m looking around and moving my head around eventually I will start feeling sick, my head will hurt and I’ve literally got to lay down and close my eyes. What I’m thinking are brain zaps is so hard for me to describe because I wouldn’t have said it felt like an electrical shock, the way I tried to describe it is if I turned my head or my eyes it was like my brain couldn’t keep up. I could trigger it by turning just my eyes from one side to the other, up and down didn’t seem to bother me. And it’s just a horrible feeling for to me that once it happens so much from me moving around trying to behave and do things I would normally do it feels like a bad motion sickness. Best thing I can compare it to because I’ve gotten motion sickness all my life. It’s really debilitated me and this being the 3rd different antidepressant I’ve been on since 2014, if this is what I’ve got to look foraward to is the medication stopping working and having to try a new one I’d rather figure out how to deal with my problems on my own. I’ve said for a long time now that my goal in life is to get off this medicine anyway. I’d really like to know if it’s brain zaps that I’m having as I haven’t stopped the medication as to just changed to a new one.

Hello all, I am obviously new here and want to share my story with the hopes that maybe someone will find it useful or interesting, or perhaps someone can relate to it or even offer their own insights. I have had a long history of depression, so much so that I've never really been able to function as an adult. It got to the point where I was actively suicidal but never quite reached the tipping point of going through with it. I eventually made a breakthrough in 2022 with CBD, which really takes the edge off my depression and anxiety. I take 30mg every 8 hours so it is always active, and it is consistently helpful. It has even taken the place of Klonopin, which I had previously been taking around once per week just so I could have some time off where I wasn't suffering as much. After discovering CBD, I wasn't even interested in benzos anymore, except maybe for very specific high-leverage situations (the way I think they should be used). After four months of this improved state, I realized it still wasn't enough, I wasn't able to work or thrive, and I decided to give antidepressants another shot. I had tried them over 10 years prior without success, but I knew there were lots of other drugs out there. I had only ever tried SSRIs, plus an add-on antipsychotic (Abilify). To my disappointment, I was once again prescribed an SSRI, this time a conservative dose of 10mg fluoxetine to get started. Within 30 minutes of taking the first capsule, I remembered why I stopped taking antidepressants in the first place. It wasn't terrible, but it just didn't feel right. Interesting considering the conventional wisdom that it should take weeks to feel anything at all. I continued to play along, already committed to the painful trial-and-error process of psychiatry, and by the fifth dose I tapped out. I was overwhelmed with panic and wanted to kill myself. I called the psychiatrist, and they prescribed an alternative, the SNRI venlaxafine (37.5mg starter dose). Finally, a new class of drugs. Only this one was even worse. It felt like it was burning a hole in my brain, and I stopped after 2 doses. I called the psychiatrist to explain what happened, and they reached deep into the psychiatry playbook and, you guessed it, offered to prescribe something else. I was too exhausted and scared to try a new drug immediately, so my plan was to wait until the next scheduled appointment in a few weeks and then reassess. For the next couple weeks, I felt mostly better. Then at the 17 day mark after my last fluoxetine dose, a bomb went off. I woke up with my head spinning from dizziness, unable to walk without holding on to something. This steadily improved over the next week, and I thought I was alright. Then another week later, the real party began. My mood sank to new lows. I lost the capability to feel anything positive. I was so stressed and irritable that I had to warn people about talking to me. It felt like a chemical lobotomy. Then I started having cognitive issues, forgetting things and losing the ability to solve basic problems. I went through a checklist of withdrawal symptoms and there were too many matches to list. I didn't think withdrawal would be possible after only a few doses, but the timeline and symptoms match. My hypothesis is that with fluoxetine's long half-life, it must have been in my system long enough to create a dependence. Although I had an initial adverse reaction, it didn't seem to match the symptoms of serotonin syndrome. Maybe someone will have some insight on that though. Whatever the case, it was a couple months of torture during the acute phase. I was not anywhere close to functional most of the time, but "luckily" I did not have many obligations due to my failure to ever get life going in the first place. Things then settled down into the more manageable post-acute phase, and I have a nice breakthrough every now and then which reminds me what it was like to have a more functional brain. It's still been a long and difficult grind, though. During this time, I reverted back to my once-weekly usage of Klonopin to get a break from the symptoms. Then earlier this year I had another breakthrough that allowed me to stop taking that again. I have also experimented with microdosing psilocybin periodically throughout the post-acute phase, which I have concluded is a mistake. I have had good experiences with it during the active effect, but it becomes so exhausting, and then I crash and burn for the next few weeks. Clearly my brain is very sensitive to drugs, especially serotonergics, and I just need to give it a chance to heal. I've recently had a resurgence in symptoms (dizziness, fatigue, emotional blunting, stress) which may have been regularly scheduled, or perhaps triggered by a last-ditch effort at microdosing. It's been taxing, but still nowhere near as bad as it used to be. A clear benchmark for me is whether I have any desire to take benzos again, which I still don't. I am now 14 months into this pharmaceutical disaster, and it is hard to say exactly what % I am recovered, since the symptoms and severity are always changing. It is clear that the baseline is trending upwards, though. I just hope that eventually I can feel completely back to normal again without any trace of this nonsense. I am committed to a holistic approach to healing: nutrition, fitness, rest, and avoiding stress. I continue to take CBD, which has been my best lifeline ever since I started with it. I already know that life is not for me, but I can at least reduce my suffering while I am still here. From a psychotropic recovery perspective, this story could be viewed as at least a partial success, with some progress left to be made. Thank you to anyone who read this. It does feel better to document it, and it's maybe one minuscule step towards awareness and accountability.

Hey everyone, I’m new here. Thanks for having me. I recently tapered from 5mg proz over about 3 months (liquid taper). I was originally on 20mg but tappered down and had held the proz at 5mg for 6 months while I did very gradual water taper off k (benzo). Over the last month (been of proz 2 weeks) I have started having fasciculations. They started in my feet, now my calves, legs, ankles. Worse then not doing anything, but there all the time. I’m really scared about something sinister. Could this be withdrawal? I was on such a low dose of proz? Thank you, Annie

Hey everyone, been lurking for months and finally joined. I was on prozac from January 2023 till April 25th 2023. Was going through alot of life changes and thought I needed something to balance me out. Before prozac I was doing intense cardio, working, lifting weights etc. I started on 10mg of prozac. The 3rd day on prozac I had the worst panic attack of my life, my body was shaking afterward from adrenaline. That was 3am. that went away so I just chalked it up as my body being shocked by it and wont happen again. Then I noticed while I would run, or work out, my heart would beat hard, and fast. I was able to push through but mentioned to my Dr at a follow up appointment 2 weeks later and he said it was still anxiety so bumped me up to 20mg. I felt good for about a week or 2 then all hell broke loose. Very strong middle of the night panic attacks started happening. then my resting heart rate would jump to 130-140 if I stood up so I was bed bound for a couple weeks. Going on reddit was my 1st mistake because they said everything gets worse before it gets better. But it never got better, only worse. My mind was so over stimulated that walking 100 ft outside my house or driving would cause me to be in a panic state. Its a darkness that made death seem comforting at times. I finally couldnt take it anymore and stated to taper for 3 week. 15, 10, 5mg. The panic started to fade over the weeks I developed withdrawal symptoms. They were Insomnia heart palpitations severe depersonalization horrible short term memory suicidal thoughts hypertension burning skin no appetite ( lost 20lbs) diarrhea vivid dreams Theres many more but would fill up the whole page. Many nights I thought my heart was just going to stop cause it would beat hard at night and i could feel the pulse in my fingers. Sleep was hard. maybe 2 hrs then jolt awake, and repeat. Averaged about 4-5 hrs. But now i sleep 8-9hrs! I noticed Im slowly getting better. Appetite is back, no more diarrhea, depersonalization has improved etc but Im about 50% Id say better. Im walking sometimes more than a mile now before i feel the panic build so I noticed over time I can walk longer distances. I went out to dinner for the 1st time in June with my sister but that became too much and I was bedridden for 2 days after that but 2 weeks ago in Sept when I was in a window, i tried again and went to dinner for my bday and was able to be there the whole time even tho towards the end i felt out of it. The next day, instead of being bed ridden from going out to dinner in public i still felt good enough to visit my dad then go meet up with my friends at a bar to test myself (no alcohol ofcourse) I walked at the park further than i ever have walked last week as well. I notice after each wave the world feels more real. The smells, the people etc. My main problems are still just not feeling as connected like i should, over stimulated (even though i can grocery shop and drive now, and i do notice it takes more for me to get over stimulated), weird brain glitching at night before I fall asleep sometimes, sometimes manic, and then some days my body feels like its buzzing and i need to just chill on the couch and work from my computer, and the main one is i get really vascular in my legs in my waves. Like veins throughout all my legs pumping with blood, especially after walking or in the sun too long then my legs start to burn like a sunburn. I think its cortisol related because even in my windows when my veins are normal, at night the start coming out again. I say my legs but really my whole body, just say my legs cause i never saw my legs get like that until about 2 months into withdrawl. I get frustrated sometimes but then i think back and realize my symptoms have improved compared to the acute phase but everyday is a struggle. I still cant be out with friends or family much. Pretty much house bound although i make sure to drive around and go to stores etc everyday to help myself get accustomed to it. I went through a break up and my ex took the dogs a couple months ago so Its been lonely. it sucks cause i want to just be me again and socialize but im just here taking it day by day feeling out of it. the only thing that has kept me going is my business that i run online and the hope of one day being me again. I wanna travel alot. So much i want to do to make up for lost time, i will never take life for granted ever again.