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My story is as follows: since 2012 I was living in constant stress and had huge business and responsibilities. I started to treat my stress by drinking wine. Then I decided to quit meat, and developed anemia. Since my body was weak, I had UTI and various inflammations in kidneys and gut. I was prescribed with antibiotics for 8 months; they totally destroyed my microbiome. Occasionally I was feeling sad from time to time, and at such moments was drinking wine. I know why I started feeling sad, as I was using wine as my coping mechanism to deal with stress, and wine is a big depressant and destroys your microbiome. On 2021 I started having anxiety. I was prescribed with antipsychotic Fluanxol and diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression. After 3 days anxiety was gone. But after 3month I developed depersonalization and feeling strange like depressed and my doctor said that depression is getting worse and I need SNRI- Cymbalta( duloxetine). I became suicidal and total zombie. After 1,5month she told me to CT, and prescribed Cipralex I developed: anxiety extreme one, vomiting, diarrhea, zombie feeling. After 1,5 month she told me to CT, then I was prescribed valdoxan it did nothing to me. Then I was prescribed mirtazapine, since all the polydruging I developed real depression and anhedonia. On the top they prescribed be Prozac. On Prozac I was getting slightly better, they upped the dose after one year to 60mg and felt even better but anhedonia and dysphoria were never gone. Now I am tapering mirtazapine since 2023 April, so since April from 45mg to 15mg reached now already. All was good for 2 months( November, December) even anhedonia was gone, but I was not tapering it as I was In Bali. Now when I started tapering again in December, withdrawals started to affect me on 27 January, 3 days bad 4 days good, again 4 days bad 10 days good, now when I reached 15mg I started having panic attacks. Does it sound for you like I have bipolar? I went to new psychiatrist today as I was feeling very scared of panic attacks and he said all these med did not help you initially as you are BIPOLAR. So now he wants me to prescribe 0lanzapine for 2 months meanwhile to CT mirtazapine and Fluanxol. And then after 2 months to stop olanzapine and Prozac and start lamotrigine. I am going insane, crying nonstop. Can I be Bipolar? Or is it that withdrawals mimic some other illnesses. I don’t feel that I was bipolar before meds I was just sad- and reason was too much wine. Anxiety was as a side effect of antibiotics in 2021. Please help going insane. Also what to do I reduced mirtazapine 10% every 3 weeks, now 2 weeks past the last reduction and I am having panic attacks every day and anxiety, depersonalization. Should I wait or should I up dose? Should I slow down with my taper and do 10% every 4-6 weeks? Please help

I new to participating in the forum type sites so please forgive me if I’m doing this wrong. Anyway I started to have what I think is brain zaps a month and a half ago not really knowing what it was but from all the research I’ve done it’s the only thing that makes sense. I stopped taking paroxetine 40mg tablets and started taking fluoxetine 40mg. Wishing 2-3 days I started to notice this, it caused me to panic and spiraled from there. I stopped the fluoxetine and went back to the paroxetine and finally a couple weeks ago started to feel pretty good again. After talking to my doctor decided to try the fluoxetine again because I had been to my primary doctor, an ENT, and had an MRI done because we all thought the off balance feeling I would get was something else going on like some kinda inner ear problem. Anyway I tried it again because I was feeling the best I had felt in the last two months and wanted to fast track the feeling better process and get back to work and that was a horrible mistake. What I think are brain zaps came right back and that’s my biggest issue. It’s like if I try to do to much and I’m looking around and moving my head around eventually I will start feeling sick, my head will hurt and I’ve literally got to lay down and close my eyes. What I’m thinking are brain zaps is so hard for me to describe because I wouldn’t have said it felt like an electrical shock, the way I tried to describe it is if I turned my head or my eyes it was like my brain couldn’t keep up. I could trigger it by turning just my eyes from one side to the other, up and down didn’t seem to bother me. And it’s just a horrible feeling for to me that once it happens so much from me moving around trying to behave and do things I would normally do it feels like a bad motion sickness. Best thing I can compare it to because I’ve gotten motion sickness all my life. It’s really debilitated me and this being the 3rd different antidepressant I’ve been on since 2014, if this is what I’ve got to look foraward to is the medication stopping working and having to try a new one I’d rather figure out how to deal with my problems on my own. I’ve said for a long time now that my goal in life is to get off this medicine anyway. I’d really like to know if it’s brain zaps that I’m having as I haven’t stopped the medication as to just changed to a new one.

Hey all. New here. Found this site from reddit. Visual snow is ruining my life. I could use some support and advice. My story: In 2020 I went through a bit of a hellscape (nothing in comparison really) where I was in tears regarding my health. I've always had trouble with health anxiety but it really flared in 2020, right before the pandemic. The nurse practitioner was really kind in a lot of ways and offered to put me on an antidepressant. She chose Prozac based on a Google search (red flags?) of side effects, I was having GI issues at the time and it listed less than the other she considered. I had thought about ssris for a while. Being adverse to drugs ever since a parent misused one I didn't think they were for me. But as anxiety wore me down, I thought that maybe I should give it a chance. I had no idea the world of hurt that opening this door would cascade into my life. For a few years I had success. I talked to my doctor about going off and he encouraged me not to (PNW he said his experience with tapering in winter was bad, wait for spring). So I did. And next summer I went to make an appointment. Six months wait time. -.- So I thought how hard can this be? I googled it. Looks like 4-6 weeks is recommended, and Prozac especially is 'easy to come off of'. Now you see where this is going, but you're actually wrong. I had no issues I saw in the first four months coming off. The next part gets tricky. I started having daily terrible stomach pain. It spiked my anxiety and I was constantly in the doctor. Specialists booked out 6 months again. The doctor ordered tests. Then I was told it was IBS. Tried this, tried that. I contacted the doctor a lot, and providence offered me some virtual appointments with providers as that was a lot faster than waiting for PC, and my health anxiety was through the roof. One of the providers strongly encouraged me to go back on Prozac. I didn't love the idea. Even when I picked up the prescription I looked at the bottle and decided not to take it. I wish I had dumped it down the toilet. My 'just do it' attitude won me over the next day. I thought that it's worth a try. Worst that can happen is that I come off of it for bad symptoms. Big mistake. Nothing happened immediately. A few days later I was headed to work and got distracted by the sky. I looked up and the sky glittered like gold. Oh ****. What is happening. Google informed me that the blue field entoptic phenomenon is perfectly normal. Then I found visual snow. What ensued is the worst period of my life. The bfep began to haunt me. I would journal and the other page glittered like a dragons horde. I would walk for my sanity and see a thousand stars in a cloudy day. Nowhere I go doesn't sparkle. Then I noticed it was hard to be outside, the sunshine hurt my brain. Another time I was with my partner and realized that I could see two treelines. The wall now has spots that aren't the right color. Occasionally I'll see a blob of discoloration. I went to the store and I couldn't read the cans in the soup isle. The letters I could make out but the visual stimulus hurt me in an inexplicable way. The health anxiety quicky took me to poundtown. Why did I do this to myself? Is there a solution? Desperation led to days of reading reddit forum posts. This is where I am today. Now that I know that this is a misunderstood condition, often lasting lifetimes with no real effective treatment, I just want out of whatever hell I put on myself. I want to go back to character creator and chose a different character. I want to play a different game. I'm trying everything. I talk to parents daily, hoping that they stick around for a while (they're in their 70s with lots of health conditions). I've seen three eye doctors, a neurologist, a sleep doctor, a surgeon, a nutrionalist, a dry eye specialist, a physical therapist, a vision therapist, several PCP providers and nurse practitioner, and I'm going to an EMT, sleep doctor and nuero opthalmologist. I'm also doing intensive outpatient therapy through charlie health. My symptoms: Neck pain (improved) Lightheadness (comes and goes) Stomach pain Visual discomfort Constant minor tension headache Vision ghosting/double vision constantly 1 second occasional palinopsia Afterimages that mostly distort colors Blue Field entoptic phenomenon. Everywhere. Everywhere, I can't state this enough I can only escape this in low lighting. Flashes of light when I transition from dark to light Light sensitivity Muscle twitch constantly No concentration and reading is weirdly uncomfortable I spoke to PCP about coming off and he supports that as soon as I have the surgery. Early next month most likely. Crying on the floor. This is me now. It has been for several weeks. I've lost count of how many times I've cried. Crying on the floor I'm waiting for a call back to schedule an appendectomy surgery as I'm told that I have acute appendicitis and all I can think about is that I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm in a bad place. I think I need to believe I can get better and that this isn't all that there is for me.

Early 2016 -Started fluoxetine 10 mg Late 2016 -increased to 20 mg Aug 2022 -Increased to 40 mg when hormonal birth control caused a worsening of depression. The higher dose significantly improved my mood. Jan 27, 2024 -Stopped hormonal birth control. Immediately started experiencing adverse activating effects from fluoxetine: heart palpitations, anxiety, total insomnia. Feb 24 -Started taper. Dropped by 10 mg at doctor’s recommendation (taking 30 mg). Adverse reaction began to resolve first week, though insomnia remained. March 1 -Started 12.5 mg trazodone to help with insomnia. Finally able to sleep March 6 -Onset of intense withdrawal symptoms. Restlessness, debilitating anxiety, feelings of doom and dread, agitation. Prescribed limited supply of lorazepam, took .125-.5 mg as needed (March 6, 8, and 10). By the 11th I was feeling a bit better, and withdrawal symptoms continued to gradually stabilize over the next couple weeks. I did my research and resolved to continue my taper at a much slower pace. March 19 -diagnosed with mild sleep apnea following a sleep study taken during my bout of insomnia March 23 -27.5 mg fluoxetine. Depressed and sensitive right away, though difficult to tell if from withdrawal or PMS, as my period started March 26. Mood eventually stabilized. April 3 -6.25 mg trazodone, slept without difficulty. Over the next couple days alternated between feeling hypersensitive and emotionally numb. April 6 -0 mg trazodone, slept without difficulty April 7 -flare-up of withdrawal symptoms: akathisia, intense anxiety and dread. Symptoms resolved with 0.125 mg lorazepam. Planning to reinstate trazodone tonight, as I’m assuming that’s what caused the flare. I’d neglected to think of the trazodone as an antidepressant! I am already chronically ill, so I am having to manage additional symptoms on top of withdrawal symptoms. I have been diagnosed with chronic migraine, POTS, and Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. My recent diagnosis of obstructive sleep apnea was a surprise, as I am young and slim— turns out my hypermobility puts me at a higher risk. But I’m hopeful that treating my sleep apnea will take care of many disabling symptoms I had previously associated with my migraines: poor memory, brain fog, fatigue, and never feeling well-rested even after regularly getting 10+ hours of sleep. I will be getting a CPAP machine this week. It may take some getting used to but ultimately I should be getting much better quality sleep and years of damage might be reversed. My question is, do I need to put my taper on pause while acclimating to the CPAP? I recognize that my nervous system is in a hypersensitive state and worry that any change, even a positive change like this, may disrupt things. I just don’t know to approach my other health problems in the context of tapering.

Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.

Hi I hope that someone will be able to give me some kind of hope. I have been tapering from 20mg of Prozac and am now down to 4mg (for the last two months) but the side effects have been awful - mainly chronic fatigue, terror attacks, anxiety and generally feeling like I have the start or end of flu. Should I stay on the 4mg until this subsides? I was also on Venlafaxine 75mg (until about a year ago - but my GP withdrew me from this in a matter of weeks) so I'm not really sure if the symptoms are also due to this too.

Hi all, Newbie alert 🚨 I have lurked around this forum for well over a year, looking for advise and understanding. Today on my millionth AD tapering journey i’ve decided to register and introduce myself. A lot of the times I just want to ask “has anyone else experienced this?”, “how did it go for you”. Because the truth is, the doctors look at us as robots, or they just don’t understand and it becomes increasingly frustrating when you’re patronised - you know the ringing in my ear since tapering has nothing to do with that but rather “you’re not becoming any younger…with ageing a lot of things happen”. While yes that may be so, please don’t tell me you know my body better than me. Otherwise my doctor is quite ok. Most recently I asked him for liquid fluoxetine so I could taper slowly. He’s been with me a while and so knows that tapering fast is not for me. So I’m grateful he’s prescribed it. I saw another doctor just a week ago and she told me “you’re already taking 20mg fluoxetine every other day so you’re ready to just stop now”. Obviously I know better and on her part it has to be ignorance. Anyhow digress… I have been on and off AD since 2015 when at the age of 27, I was divorced, homeless and a single mother with my family having just moved away. That’s putting it in a concise and pretty way but I won’t get into the ugly…As the years have gone on I’ve made so much progress and so many changes in the way I think and approach things. So I must remember to give myself credit. However the times I decided to come off AD, the advise of the doctors was not great and I always rushed or went cold turkey. The problem was, I felt great the month or 2 after stopping. It’s about 5 months down the line when I either crash and feel extremely low or my emotions just scatter, so many feelings flood me. I have had counselling but I realise the latter, was probably due to issues not being addressed and the AD numbing those very real emotions. So this time, I’ve decided to move with patience. Go slow. Most recently I’ve taken the lower dose of 20mg fluoxetine from july2021 to Dec2021- this was after stopping cold turkey a few months before (when I was on 40mg). Since the new year I’m on 20mg every other day. I have the liquid which will be taken @ 10mg every other day. I haven’t yet started that dose as I still feel my body is still getting familiar with the 20mg every other day. One of the most annoying new symptoms of tapering is this ear ringing/vibrating. It feels very weird. I’ve never had it before in my ears but over the years experienced similar vibrations and spasms in my jaw so I guess it’s just different this time. It’s been about 5/6weeks since lowering 20mg every other day and I’ve just started feeling very tired, under the weather like I’m coming down with something. Not sure if that bit is related but we’ll see. Lastly the dreams! Omg the dreams, im having soo many very odd and random dreams. Didn’t think it was a thing when tapering because I always have the dreams when starting an AD. Weird stuff. If anyone can make it make sense, I’m happy for your input 😊 Any support, advise, words of encouragement, sharing experiences etc all welcome 🤗 Patient2022 x

Hello, My name is Leyla, I'm a 27 year old from Saudi Arabia. When I was 20 I went through a depressive anxious period during college and I started therapy then was referred to psychiatrist and started Lexapro. At the time, it helped me very overcome the crippling anxiety and at a point I was taking 20 mg which made me overly sleepy and low energy ,but also less anxious so I was happy with the result. 7 years went by and I was unaware that I have become fully dependent on the medication I forgot how it feels not to be on it. I decreased my dose gradually to 5 mg and was continuously advised not to quit whenever I tried because of how withdrawal was so bad it felt like a relapse. My doctor advised me in November 2022 to cross taper to 20 mg Prozac since it has a longer half life and so I did. I really want to quit medication and start following a holistic approach in dealing with anxiety and so I started taking the 20 mg dose every other day this month April 2023. So far my withdrawal symptoms are headaches, anxiety and seeing weird dreams. I am tapering on my own as my psychiatrist thinks that 20 mg Prozac is so low I can just stop taking it overnight, but I don't want to risk it so i reduced it by taking it every other day as I don't have access to 10 mg or liquid form where I live. I read some forums here that 10% taper is the safest way to quit, should I invest in a scale and start measuring the powder in capsules or would my current approach of gradually spacing my doses work? Also if you know any trustworthy psychiatrists I could contact online or any resources that could support me during my journey that would help. thank you,

Been on and off antidepressants for the last ten years. Prescribed amiltriptalian 2012 to relief arthritis pain. CT as requested by surgeon pre operation 2013.. PTSD diagnosed by dr after surgery prescribed Dosulapin 2013. Was swapped to another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was duloxetine. CT. Cant remember year swapped to gaberpectin to help with OA!!! CTed. Eventually another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was fluroxetine?? No taper. Tried to come of but didn't understand taper diagnosed paroxetine 2019 30mg also given amiltriptalian to help with sleep again but luckily didn't use it. Been reducing current meds since 2021. Now doing ten percent taper every 4 weeks. Ups and downs!!!! use breathing teckniques, mindfullness,graditude diary,crafting , nature, essential oils, baths, books,support services such as berevement phone line, samartians, therapy of NHS for free or cheep charity counsellors but essentially do it all alone, no support from family limited support from friends

Hey everyone, been lurking for months and finally joined. I was on prozac from January 2023 till April 25th 2023. Was going through alot of life changes and thought I needed something to balance me out. Before prozac I was doing intense cardio, working, lifting weights etc. I started on 10mg of prozac. The 3rd day on prozac I had the worst panic attack of my life, my body was shaking afterward from adrenaline. That was 3am. that went away so I just chalked it up as my body being shocked by it and wont happen again. Then I noticed while I would run, or work out, my heart would beat hard, and fast. I was able to push through but mentioned to my Dr at a follow up appointment 2 weeks later and he said it was still anxiety so bumped me up to 20mg. I felt good for about a week or 2 then all hell broke loose. Very strong middle of the night panic attacks started happening. then my resting heart rate would jump to 130-140 if I stood up so I was bed bound for a couple weeks. Going on reddit was my 1st mistake because they said everything gets worse before it gets better. But it never got better, only worse. My mind was so over stimulated that walking 100 ft outside my house or driving would cause me to be in a panic state. Its a darkness that made death seem comforting at times. I finally couldnt take it anymore and stated to taper for 3 week. 15, 10, 5mg. The panic started to fade over the weeks I developed withdrawal symptoms. They were Insomnia heart palpitations severe depersonalization horrible short term memory suicidal thoughts hypertension burning skin no appetite ( lost 20lbs) diarrhea vivid dreams Theres many more but would fill up the whole page. Many nights I thought my heart was just going to stop cause it would beat hard at night and i could feel the pulse in my fingers. Sleep was hard. maybe 2 hrs then jolt awake, and repeat. Averaged about 4-5 hrs. But now i sleep 8-9hrs! I noticed Im slowly getting better. Appetite is back, no more diarrhea, depersonalization has improved etc but Im about 50% Id say better. Im walking sometimes more than a mile now before i feel the panic build so I noticed over time I can walk longer distances. I went out to dinner for the 1st time in June with my sister but that became too much and I was bedridden for 2 days after that but 2 weeks ago in Sept when I was in a window, i tried again and went to dinner for my bday and was able to be there the whole time even tho towards the end i felt out of it. The next day, instead of being bed ridden from going out to dinner in public i still felt good enough to visit my dad then go meet up with my friends at a bar to test myself (no alcohol ofcourse) I walked at the park further than i ever have walked last week as well. I notice after each wave the world feels more real. The smells, the people etc. My main problems are still just not feeling as connected like i should, over stimulated (even though i can grocery shop and drive now, and i do notice it takes more for me to get over stimulated), weird brain glitching at night before I fall asleep sometimes, sometimes manic, and then some days my body feels like its buzzing and i need to just chill on the couch and work from my computer, and the main one is i get really vascular in my legs in my waves. Like veins throughout all my legs pumping with blood, especially after walking or in the sun too long then my legs start to burn like a sunburn. I think its cortisol related because even in my windows when my veins are normal, at night the start coming out again. I say my legs but really my whole body, just say my legs cause i never saw my legs get like that until about 2 months into withdrawl. I get frustrated sometimes but then i think back and realize my symptoms have improved compared to the acute phase but everyday is a struggle. I still cant be out with friends or family much. Pretty much house bound although i make sure to drive around and go to stores etc everyday to help myself get accustomed to it. I went through a break up and my ex took the dogs a couple months ago so Its been lonely. it sucks cause i want to just be me again and socialize but im just here taking it day by day feeling out of it. the only thing that has kept me going is my business that i run online and the hope of one day being me again. I wanna travel alot. So much i want to do to make up for lost time, i will never take life for granted ever again.

Just came across this site, wish I saw it sooner! My primary care doctor put me on celexa 20 mg in 2012 for some mood issues. Started seeing a psychiatrist in 2016 who then put me on 40 mg celexa. Switched to effexor, not sure about dose in 2018, then switched to 10 mg prozac in 2020. Tried coming off cold turkey in 2022, was fine for 3 months then withdrawal hit, psychiatrist had me reinstate to 10mg and I stabilized. April 2023 psych had me drop 1 mg every 1 months until I got to 1 mg in December 2023. January 2024 went down to 0.5 mg then February 2024 went down to 0.3 mg. The crash came at the end of February 2024. Psych had me updose to 3 mg which I've been on for 8 days now. Thought I felt some improvement with the updose but still having periods of severe anxiety every other day. My question is should I stay on 3mg for a few weeks and see if I stabilize? Thanks for any input.

Hello SA Community, I am new to the site, but have been reading a lot of info here over the past 2 1/2 years. I am in a bad place... I was on 20 mg Prozac for many years, and was told by a Dr. in Feb 2018 that I could just "stop it". Well... I crashed bad. I didn't know what was happening, and over the next year and half, I was given over 22 different meds (including back on Prozac and numerous AD's, benzos, sleeping pills, BP meds, mood stabilizers, and lastly, an antipsychotic). I deteriorated more and more and finally decided to get off everything. I am down to my last 5 mg of Prozac. I have suffered very much - my biggest symptoms have been horrible insomnia, dark depression, intense anxiety among others. I haven't had but a couple of days of windows in the past year. I am just losing hope. Will I get better? I am holding at 5 mg for a long time (just reduced 2 weeks ago). I think I did EVERYTHING wrong.... Thank you.

Hello Everyone, My wife will be weaning off of Fluoxetine. I, her loving husband, will be helping her with the process and asking any questions here to help in the process. I am helping because my wife has dementia. I, her husband, have recently, after about five years, reached zero venlafaxine. I have learned a lot during this time. It is my wife's turn. The anxiety and cause of anxiety, that got her onto the fluoxetine, no longer exists. I do not want to miss anything about the process and likely side effects of tapering Fluoxetine. So even though I know how to navigate SurvingingAntidepressants.com, please moderator, do your introductory thing. Thanks

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

Hello everyone, I registered on this forum a while ago, and finally decided to introduce myself as I'm thinking about trying tapering from my meds again. I have read through the threads of tapering off lamotrigine and fluoxetine before but would like to hear other people's history with these meds and not just on tapering but also if you experience similar side effects(?) while on them. Here's my history of psychiatric medication (sorry that it's so long, I wanted to give all the important details) : I'm in my thirties. I've been on psych meds for three years. I was first put on them after I got a serious burn-out/depressive episode. It was most likely caused by very stressful work conditions (I am a social worker), but I remember having similar but much milder episodes before that. My main psychiatric "symptoms" were always very physical : mostly crushing fatigue, low-key anxiety that feels like tension in my chest. Mentally it's usually a lack of interest in anything and hopelessness, sometimes light derealisation. I have been on several different drugs and drug combos in varying doses (fluoxetine, lamotrigine, venlafaxine, fluvoxamine, sertraline and occasionally several benzos to deal with acute anxiety) which never "worked" or "stopped working" after a while or seemed to make things worse. Since then I went through several episodes of doing "better" and then the return of the above-mentioned symptoms. Until July 2022 when I was put on a combination of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine, which seems to be the combo that seems to be "working". This is what I am taking now. My mood is pretty stable (although kind of flat). Anxiety is low or non-existant. I can function okay on it. However I feel "off" and I have a hard time telling if it's the meds, residual "symptoms" of depression or something else altogether. I experience morning grogginess, constant light somnolence during the day, fatigue, sluggishness, muscle weakness, feeling a little "out of it", almost a little drunk, difficulty concentrating, slight memory issues and a sort of flat feeling where I don't feel particularly happy not sad. Most of the time these symptoms are light and I can function more or less normally but I have some days or periods when they become more severe and everyday life becomes more difficult, especially at work. I used too exercise a lot, for example. I used to love climbing and running and now it's too hard and not exciting at all. When I mention these thing to my psychiatrist he always seems to be slightly skeptical and keeps saying that fluoxetine is a stimulating rather then sedating drug and that lamotrigine shouldn't be causing somnolence especially at such a small dose. After doing well for several months on this combo, my psychiatrist agreed that I may taper off fluoxetine if I wanted to but insisted I stay on lamotrigine. He suggested I to do the usual alternating one pill and half a pill for a few weeks, then half a pill every day, and so on. I think I stopped fluoxetine over a period of a little over two months. I understand now that that was a very quick taper even for fluoxetine (I didn't know it then). However, I don't remember any serious withdrawal effects aside from maybe occasional slight dizziness. It seems that sleepiness and fatigue decreased at least at the beginning although didn't go away completely. After being completely off of fluoxetine for two weeks or so, I started having the depressive symptoms again which led me to believe that I really "needed" the drugs so return to my usual dose and felt better quickly but return to my usual slightly "sluggish" state. Later, when I learned about psych meds withdrawal, I started to suspect that maybe it wasn't a relapse but rather withdrawal effects from a quick taper and decided to try tapering off again but much slower. This is where I learn about antidepressant withdrawal. My psychiatrist agreed to prescribe me fluoxetine solution which allowed me to taper in a more or less recommended 10% increments. I was taping very slowly over a period of many months. Again, I don't think I had many usual withdrawal symptoms aside from some light dizziness and occasional slight agitation. But then I started to get impatient and especially started to suspect that sleepiness and sluggishness was mostly due to lamotrigine. So I started to taper off of it, at the same time (which was stupid, I realize), and very quickly (stupid) because lamotrigine pills dissolved very badly in water and I felt like I couldn't get the right dose at all. So I want from 100mg to 75mg and the after several weeks to 50mg. Again, I don't think I had any symptoms that could be attributed to withdrawal. But when fluoxetine was close to 10mg and lamotrigine at 50mg I slowly started to feel the return of depressive symptoms, and particularly the crushing mental and physical fatigue. Everything became hard again and I barely could go to work. So after struggling for many weeks I decided to return to my previous dose of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine. I started to feel better quickly. I returned to my usual sluggish state but at least I could get out of bed and go to work and be able to manage. I started to believe again I may need to take these drugs for the rest of my life. It's annoying to always be sleepy and sluggish and I still want to stop the meds. Not only because of the side effects that seem to be causing, but also become I am not sure they are "actually' helping. I don't know what to believe about the actual reasons of mental difficulties. My symptoms always feel very "physical" and I am unsure how they can be dealt with through therapy, for example. So this makes the biomedical theories sound plausible. But at the same time I've been living without meds in the past and there are so much evidence about their ineffectiveness. And I often wonder how much of its action is placebo effect in my case. So I am planning to start tapering off fluoxetine again, by 10% increments and then eventually hopefully off lamotrigine (which seems to be the recommended way). But I'm afraid to not have enough patience again, or to being unsure what are symptoms symptoms, what are withdrawal symptoms and what is normal part of ageing or some other medical problems altogether. I would like to hear other people's experiences. By the way, I take both fluoxetine and lamotrigine in the morning. I tried taking them at night or splitting the doses and it only made things worse : worsened sleep, intense and vivid dreams and increased grogginess and sleepiness.

I'm ******. My signature pretty much sums things up, but leaves out the In-depth details of the journey with this drug. My biggest fear is that I began taking the med as a teenager and while my brain was still developing. I can't help but wonder about the impact Prozac had on my neuro- development and what that means for me now and in the futures he last time I kicked the Prozac habit it lasted 4 months before I finally gave in to the withdrawal symptoms and resumed taking Prozac again. It's so hard to describe how bad it was and what it felt like. The physical symptoms alone were unbelievable. I honestly wasn't sure I'd survive it. Right now there are periods of anxiety and fatigue and irritability, but they are tolerable and slowly abating. When they do I will decrease my dosage again. That's how I'm playing it this time. Decrease, survive withdrawal symptoms till they [mostly] abate, then decrease again... Then on like that. I don't ever want to experience what I did the last time.

I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years

Hi all, I have come to this website fairly late (I hope) in my journey with psych meds. I no longer take anything, but 9 weeks from my last dose of Fluoxetine I am still suffering bad waves/windows. Until May of this year, I was still suffering badly with waves/windows from Diazepam withdrawal, which began properly in June 2022. I have been off work pretty much since then. Things got a good bit better between May and August, more like a higher baseline of anxiety/vulnerability to stress, rather than the waves/windows pattern. During this time, I was doing Neurofeedback and the ketogenic diet (thanks to Dr Chris Palmer's excellent book). I was able to do a speech at a family gathering, which feels unthinkable now. In June, I started tapering from Fluoxetine, 20mg (my history with which you can see in my signature), using the liquid solution, reducing by 2mg every 3 weeks. I now realise that was too fast. In mid-August I started getting waves again. I had not done nearly as much reading into SSRI withdrawals as I had with benzos, so I assumed it was the Diazepam waves coming back (which Ashton says can happen), but then at the end of August I got one of my worst waves ever for about 4 days: suicidal depression, 0hr sleep (even during worst of benzo withdrawal I could get 2-3 hours a night), tremors, agitation. At the time, I believed that was because I was given a different brand of the liquid solution - I thought maybe more of the active ingredient was getting into my system somehow, causing serotonin syndrome (because of the tremors). But now having read about the dangers of linear tapering I am guessing that it was withdrawal from Fluoxetine, and my cliff edge was around 10mg, made worse as I was/am not yet fully recovered from the Diazepam withdrawal. However, at that stage I decided to just to jump from 10mg, partly influenced by doctors who said that would be fine. I have now read about the need to do hyperbolic tapering, but I am where I am - 9 weeks off and I do not really wish to reinstate. I am having waves/windows every 3 days, which is very different from Diazepam - that was more like 3 week waves, 1 week windows - but they do seem to be just as severe, particularly the depression. I realise that I am perhaps lucky that I was on Fluoxetine rather than another SSRI (I am well over a year out from stopping Mirtazapine, so I don't think that is likely to be playing a role still). I am interested to hear any indications/opinions from folks on here as to how long it may be before the waves disappear and I return to my previous level of function. I am encouraged by the fact that although they are regular/severe, the waves do seem to have identifiable triggers rather than totally random. This is embarrassing, but I have found that one definite trigger is orgasm/ejaculation. In that process, there is a huge release of dopamine, followed by a decrease but also an increase of a hormone called prolactin which at a high enough level can cause psychosis. I am thinking my dopamine levels/receptors are just too low, because dopamine restrains prolactin production. You may ask, why not abstain? But another clear symptom of my withdrawal is uncontrollable nocturnal emissions, which I didn't even have in my teenage years - roughly once a week, followed by a 3-day wave. I did not have obvious sexual dysfunction while on Fluoxetine, but I am thinking that this symptom is some kind of rebound hypersexuality. Finally, the other clear triggers for symptoms are sweet foods and stress. Thanks for reading - I wish you all continued, and quick, healing.

HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz

Hello! New to this site. I've found comfort in reading success stories on here and am looking for encouragement and support as I continue in my withdrawal healing journey. I was on Fluoxetine 20mg for about 4 years, on and off a couple of times. I did a 5-month linear taper 10% reduction every 2 weeks and jumped off in early January 2023. Six weeks later the withdrawals hit and since it's been a rollercoaster. I'm at Month 5.5. Thankfully, I haven't gotten many physical WDs but the psychological ones have turned my world upside down: despair, depression, terror, panic, anxiety, intrusive, looping thoughts, anhedonia, mood swings, zero motivation. I do have windows, which for the past month seem to be around 3-5 days, and waves, 3-6 days. I also take supplements: magnesium glycinate, probiotics, omega 3, vitamin d, b but have been on them since I started having some health issues in 2010 (chronic fatigue, muscles weakness, exercise intolerance, brain fog). I didn't start taking them because of withdrawal. I've been tasking htp5 for several months and am tapering that to try a difference amino acid supplement. Thanks for reading, Tessa

30 days off of Trintellix 20 mg.Prozac 20mg for 30 daysWelbutrin XL for 10 yearsGabapentin 12mg 6 monthsWas on Prozac & Wellbutrin for 10 years, but 2 years ago I was switched to Trintellix because it seemed like Prozac was no longer effective. Now my doc changed me back to Prozac. Seeking advice: I have stopped Trintellix twice in the last 12 months, with tapering per medical plan. The withdrawal symptoms are very hard to endure and I am asking for help or advice; The first time I stopped Trintellix, I was on a tapering plan to stop all my medications which at that time included Trintellix, Wellbutrin and Seroquel; I tapered off gradually per medical advice and had one or two months when I felt pretty good. Then I started to have horrific withdrawals including brain zaps, body shakes, body temperature fluctuations, excessive sweating, extreme nervousness, anxiety, fear, panic attacks, etc. It was scary because my psychiatrist didn't tell me I was experiencing withdrawals so I didn't know what was happening to me. My family doctor told me that I'm having withdrawals and prescribed Gabapentin to stop the extreme physical symptoms. It worked at the time for a short period. Then I started bringing back Wellbutrin and Trintellix to stop the withdrawals. I never reached a point of balance and well-being again. My dr said let's go back to Prozac which seemed to work for me in the past for managing anxiety, except for sexual dysfunction. I am now back on Prozac, Wellbutrin and Gabapentin and I am experiencing horrible withdrawals from Trintellix still - dizzy, body shaking, extreme anxiety, temperature dysregulation AND I also have sexual dysfunction from Prozac (no ability to orgasm). I would like to have some hope about the withdrawal symptoms - are they going to go away, when, what can I do to help myself... and I would like to regain a state of well-being and improve sexual dysfunction. I am willing to taper slowly off meds but I'm not sure if that's the right thing for me especially after being in withdrawal hell for a year. Any advice on brain rewiring programs? do they work for people who come off this type of medication? The medications and withdrawals are making it hard for me to function well at work, socially and in my relationship. Thank you for your advice

Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History

2010- Two years of severe headaches. Bad vision in one eye. Muscle pains. The doctors did not say anything. 2012- anxiety appeared. the first drug sertaline - a paradoxical reaction. I got depression, ss thoughts and other bad symptoms. 2012- 2016 paroxetine - - I tappered slowly, but I did not know yet that it should be stopped more slowly. 3 months without paroxetine and withdrawal syndrome appeared. Return to the drug worsened the matter. I crashed. Bridge with fluoxetine. A year passed. at the end of September 2016 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did test in two different laboratories. 08/08/2016-now fluoxetin 20 mg 01/05/2016- now- triticco / trazadone 75 mg clonozepam - 04.03.2017. from 20.11.2017 I started tapper from 0.5 to 0.125 mg- when I got some relief from Lyme treatment. Now I am treated with ILADS ( Lyme and bartonella) and also tapper psycho drags. I want to not rule out the syndrome and stop the drugs safely. I am asking for support and exchange of experience, especially people who suffer from Lyme disease. I need to make plan. How to discontinue: clonazepam 0,125 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg and trazadon 75 mg How I feel now: Antibiotics have sustained discomfort from the urinary tract and improved the results of cytology. I have more windows, but I still experience strong hits of depression and pain in small joints, a specially neck. Through complicated diagnostics of Lyme disease and the syndrome, I do not know which symptoms are from what. Thank you for your attention, sorry for mistakes.

Hello, and thank you a million times for the site, I am gutted to be here. I'm so sorry I didn't fill in my history, I thought it went in the signature and didn't want to do it twice, I'm in something of a rush and feeling utterly terrible. I realized I should have but don't seem to be able to go back and fill it in. Apologies for any inconvenience. One of a thousand stupid decisions I seem to make all the time on these meds. So I'm hoping for some advice about switching. I've been on Mirtazapine for approximately 8 years and I'm reaching the point where the Gemini scales won't be accurate so I'm looking to switch. However, I switched to Prozac a couple of years ago and had a terrible time. I was manic, couldn't sleep or eat, and so went back. At the time I thought it didn't agree with me but I now realize it may have been withdrawal from the mirt that was causing the problems. I'm really sensitive, which is why I've had to change pills in the past after reactions like skin rashes so I'm worried about trying something new. I'm hoping you guys might have an idea of what I could switch to that's soluble and hopefully, easier to get off than Mirt. Also, over the 2 or 3 months I'm starting to feel depression creeping in, which I haven't had before as a withdrawal symptom, so I don't know if it's withdrawal or relapse. I can't take anything else for the depression as it'll interact so I'm thinking of going back up to 7.5 and staying there but the thought of staying on this medication makes me feel suicidal. This is complicated by the fact that I stopped drinking completely 3 weeks ago which can apparently cause depression although the depression starting earlier but it could be exacerbating it. I realize there's a chance, a good chance, that, having been on these meds for so long, and having swapped about along with being so sensitive, I might well have to stay on them forever. I'm trying to come to terms with this, but I don't want to give up giving up too easy. Many thanks again for the site, I wish I'd found you earlier, and for any advice you can offer.