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  1. Note: I had surgery recently so it is hard for me to type. So I am using voice to text on most of this. 30 year old male Motivation: I just do not like being dependent on the drug. Also, the wife and I are planning on trying to conceive soon and I don't think at least from my research that being an SSRI is helpful. I actually am curious if anyone knows whether or not there's any effect on the actual baby itself if the father's on medication I do see some research that suggests that it's harder to conceive but I'm not sure if it actually affects the outcome of the baby. I have started my taper as of this week with the guidance of my psychiatrist to get off 20 milligrams of fluoxetine which I've been on for about six years and nine years total for fluoxetine. The strategy she proposed was the following: week 1: one day of 10 milligram tablet 6 days of 20 milligram capsule Week 2: two days of 10 milligram tablets and five days of 20 milligram capsules week 3: three days of 10 milligram tablets and four days of 20 milligram capsules week 4: four days of 10 milligram tablets and three days of 20 milligram capsules week 5: 5 days of 10 milligram tablets and two days of 20 milligram capsules week 6: six days of 10 milligram tablets and one day of 20 milligram capsules week 7: only seven 10 milligram tablets I think this is better than most doctor's recommendations to be honest and for Prozac it might even work. However, the stories in here make me want to go ahead with the liquid solution and I think I was going to continue with 18 milligrams for a month and see how that goes because I had already started her regiment of week 1 and so that is very close to 10% anyway even if it's not as consistent. If anyone sees this I would appreciate any feedback on this approach. Thanks!
  2. I am searching for a Dr or NP that is familiar with Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome in the Dallas-Fort Worth area of TX. I discontinued Prozac in August of 2022. I forgot to bring my meds when i went out of state, and then my hubby also forgot them. I thought I was doing OK, and since I planned on starting TMS, I decided to not restart Fluoxetine. I had 2 suicide attempts about a month later, and was hospitalized. Various DR'S have started and stopped a myriad of drugs over the last year. I was finally given Fluoxetine after about 8 mos, but now it does not seem to be working.
  3. [50, male] Hi. I'm about to embark on a taper of the dreaded Cymbalta, which I have been on for almost 4 months-- 1 month of ramp up plus 3 months at 30mg. I'm quitting because its main effects have been lethargy, apathy, and demotivation. Some anxiety and sleep relief comes with that but it's not worth the zombification. This stuff scares me and I want nothing more to do with it. Starting about 6 weeks ago, my shrink added Wellbutrin 150mg which hasn't made much difference. About 6 years ago I went through this same process with a prior shrink (for the same complaint, anxiety)-- try Prozac, experience apathy/lethargy, add Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin felt pretty amazing but ultimately was too speedy and I decided to quit everything. I agreed to Wellbutrin once again in hopes of a similar effect but this time no luck. I think the ugliness of Cymbalta just drowns everything else out. Unfortunately I don't recall the exact details of my prior Prozac/Wellbutrin taper but my best guess is that it lasted between 6 months and 1 year (I was aware of this site and the importance of slowness). There were no adverse effects during the taper. So my primary goal this go round is to taper Cymbalta. But I'm torn between wanting to taper safely/slowly vs reducing my overall exposure and getting back to my pre-zombie state as soon as possible. If I were to do 10% at 2 week steps I'd be looking at an 18 month taper from 30mg. This seems too long. Since I've only been on it 3-4 months, I'm hoping I can go a little faster than that. I'm thinking of trying 15% at 1.5 week steps which would take a total of 10 months. Along the way I may or may not pause to taper some piece of the Wellbutrin, depending on how it all goes. My question is whether or not my 10 month taper plan seems reasonable. Thanks for any input. Sonny
  4. Yes, it will feel like a miracle when it happens for you; and it will happen for you, it is just a matter of time. I want to get that out there first thing; it is my belief that we will all heal in time; it has happened for me and is continuing to happen and it will happen for you. Am I completely 100% done healing? No. Am I so, so much better? Oh yes! Now for some basics: Male, mid 50s, took zoloft for over 20 year, quit cold turkey 3.5 years ago, was off 5 months, thought I was relapsing, so started prozac for 3.5 months and then quit that cold turkey. Then I found S.A. and discovered what I was dealing with was not a relapse but withdrawal (and recovery). So yes, I did everything completely wrong and more than once! I am proof that given time we can heal. I currently just celebrated 30 months of being drug free. Now, how to begin to describe the inhumane torture that I have endured until very recently; not sure but I will try. I have gone through both the windows and waves pattern and the continuous misery pattern. I was one of those that suffered a great deal after quitting, but really got slammed at about 6 months off. At 1 year I was barely functioning; at 1.5 years I was still miserable, and at 2 years off I was wondering if I was doomed to endless suffering with no end. But now as I have hit the 2.5 year mark I feel as if I have turned the corner. Windows and waves general comprised the first year and then it became continuous misery for pretty much the next 6 to 12 months or more; and then back to windows and waves. My last serious wave was in months 25-26 and now finally what feels like solid progress the last month or so. I am hesitant to list symptoms because I know how much it use to scare me to read what others were going through; but on the other hand it really helped when a new symptom would start, because I knew it was part of the recovery process and not some disease or sickness, and most of these are gone or have become minimal although they lasted for months or years. And just because I experienced them does not mean that you will, we all have a very individual road to recovery; so here they are in no specific order: Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, tremors and pain in the back of my legs and calves, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, extreme bloating and stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, feeling like a bomb had gone off in my head, floating head feeling, super-hot face, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite and weight loss, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, I could not read, listen to music, or meditate, heart palpitations, random traveling aching and stabbing pain throughout my body, headaches, and so many other symptoms that I can’t remember. The torture, pain, misery, suffering and utter despair was never ending…until it did finally start to end for me and it will for you too. Did anything help me along the way? I tried many things; acupuncture, vitamins and supplements, alpha-stim, gluten free diet, no sugar diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, and anything else I could do to try and feel better. Did it work? In a sense it all worked because it kept me focused on recovery and gave me hope when I had none, and the possibility that I might feel better. But time passing has been the real healing agent; although that was the last thing I wanted to hear when I was suffering so intensely. I did find that mindfulness, breathing exercises and physical exercise helped when all else failed and I was so truly desperate. Many hours were spent just trying to pay attention to my breath going in and out; and I still use this practice as a relaxation method. It also helped me greatly to visit this website daily as well as Benzo-Buddies. I read success stories for hours at a time, read the Bloom in Wellness facebook page each day and anything by Baylissa Frederick and also Don Killian. So, what remains for me? I still have tinnitus (although it has gotten much better over the last month), stomach bloating and pain on occassion, nerve pain, some brain zaps at night, fatigue and tiredness, and sleep issues. If I had to put some percentages on where I am at now I would say physically I am at about 85-90% healed and mentally/emotionally at 90-95% healed. I now eat anything that I choose although I eat as healthily as possible because I value life so much now and I want to live as long as possible; I exercise regularly and it feels wonderful; I enjoy caffeinated drinks including regular tea and coffee which I had given up for many months; I also drink wine and beer a couple times a week if I choose to and enjoy it. I am in the best shape since high school, and have lost 75 pounds (on purpose). Life is good again and just the simple things are more than enough to bring joy and happiness. So that is my story and I hope it will encourage you as you read it that you will recover and become yourself again. I remember reading similar statements in success stories and thinking, “Yea, right, that is easy for you to say, you are not suffering through this terrible hell right now!” And maybe you are thinking the same thing as I did, but please listen to my words; you will make it, you will recover, you will feel better, and you will join me in loving life once again; just please don’t give up or give in and keep going! As I sit here with a cup of coffee and contemplate what I have been through the last several years, it all seems so strange and foreign. Success stories promised that I would make it to recovery, and they were right, so now it is my turn to tell you that you will make it, “You will make it!”. Wishing everyone here all the best and a quick recovery. Please let me know if you have any questions and I will be happy to try and help. All my love. Pug
  5. Hi, I have been taking fluoxetine/prozac for the last 11 years and I recklessly tried stop it cold turkey earlier this May but was immediately hit with a barrage of withdrawal symptoms like diarrhea/gi tract malfunction, brain zaps, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, derealization and emotional blunting. After being bedridden for a week and searching up what to do I decided to reinstate the med at half dose and see from there. Since then I have been tapering down but at a pace not considered appropriately slow. Three months now and I’m down to 2.5mg per day. Symptoms that appear to has disappeared are the brain zaps, nausea, and diarrhea. But I seem to have gained new symptoms like heart palpitations and skin numbness. The anhedonia/emotional blunting is still as bad as ever and the fatigue is still affecting my daily life. Imsomnia seems to be improving to the point I’m able to at least sleep 5 or 6 hours now as opposed to the beginning where I would have whole nights of no sleep at all. The slow rate of improvement is really making me concerned about recovery. Did I make mistakes that are preventing me from healing? I fear that my disastrous attempt at cold turkey may have done damage to my central nervous system. Is there hope for a full recovery?
  6. Hey guys, So i was on Sertaline a few years ago it worked perfectly. Then i came off it. Anytime i tried to go back on it, i had an intense reaction where i couldnt sleep and felt extremely agitated and wired. Then this happened again with prozac (Fluoxetine), and then i panicked and went to the hospital and got put on seroquel for 6 weeks. Following this I decided to stop as it was a horrible drug. When i stopped I could no longer sleep. Now, 6 months later I was slowly getting my sleep back little by little. Until 4 days ago. I was feeling ill and decided to try Prozac again to see if my symptoms were a result of withdrawal from these meds. I literally opened the pill and licked a tiny bit (few mgs probably) then i had an extreme reaction to this and the last 3 nights I have slept 1 hour each night. I feel terrible again and I am so angry that I've done this and worried I've gone back to square 1 with my sleep. Prozac has a long half life, will this go when it is out of my body or have i put myself back to the beginning again with this reaction? Today is day 4 since taking and my pupils are still huge, i still feel incredibly wired and awful. Thanks Dylan
  7. I have been on antidepressants 3 times in the last 14 years. Usually would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off with no problems. The last time I took them (2011), I needed the maximum dose of sertraline (200mg) to get an effect. After a year on it, I felt it was time to stop. The nurse insisted I had to keep taking or risked relapsing into severe depression. I tried several times to bring up the topic to no avail. After about 1.5 years on it, I cut the dose on my own to 150mg and felt ok for 2 weeks. But after I started having a dull headache that lasted hours, dizziness, serious cognitive difficulties and severe fatigue. I could not function and needed excessive sleep (12-14 hours/day). Tried increasing it again and the more severe symptoms got better, but the headache and flu-like malaise persisted for at least a week. I consulted with a psychiatrist. We tried effexor and cut on zoloft. Had no withdrawal symptoms, as I was cross-tapering. I was completely off the zoloft. Only took Effexor for about a month on a low dose (never past 150 mg) because it never helped with the symptoms of Atypical Depression I had. When I started tapering down the effexor, I got the dizziness and extreme fatigue again. When I would fall asleep, I found it extremely hard to get up. Literally felt pinned to the bed. Woke up more tired than I went to bed, even after 12 hours of sleep. Woke up dizzy and with a headache. I increased dose again and we're doing a slower taper over 21 days. The starting dose is 37.5mg. I experience dull headache that lasts hours, flu-like malaise, muscle tension, fatigue every day (with the occassional good day of no symptoms and the occassional day of much worse symptoms). I have learned to cope the best I can with these symptoms, but the fatigue gets unbearable at times. I sleep 12 hours at night and still feel tired and even drowsy during the day. I'm in grad school and it's hard and often impossible to study or even make it to class. I was supposed to decrease dose to 25 mg after 10 days on 37.5mg, but since I still have symptoms, I'll ask dr if I can postpone the decreasing... Im also concerned that the increasing apathy Ive had over the last 7 years might be due to antidepressant use. It could also be depression, but if it is SSRI use, its a very scary symptom that is not going away (has not gone away for more than 3 months in over 14 years since I started having depression/taking SSRIs). The only reason I can semi-function today is because I take nuvigil (a stimulant) 3 or 4 times/week. Without that, I can't do homework or clean or shower. Im extremely dysfunctional. I don't rely only on the stimulant though. I use it to give me energy and motivation and alertness that I use to do positive things, which improve my mood and further help with apathy.
  8. Hello everyone! I'm writing this because I told myself I also wanted to be of help for those struggling one I made out of the mess psych drigs withdrawal is. While I still struggle with anxiety and some ocd, therapy is currently my only prescription haha along with a few other natural supplements like cbd, magnesium chloride spray, pregnenolone, and a few others. My main objective with this is not to say mental illness is not real and that the meds don't work, because they do sometimes and when we decide to come off them is not like our traumas and mental struggles will disappear. But I hope to say with this that it is possible to overcome ssri withdrawal and start a drug free life along with different coping strategies and a good support system. I was put on sertraline 25 mg along with buspar 10 mgwhen I was 15. I was never very consistent with it, but would experience the effects every time I'd try to come off it. I kept going on and off until 21 when I went cold turkey and my life was almost paralzyed from the withdrawals, I was then put on sertraline 50 mg and aripiprazole. The sertraline game me horrible side effects at first and most of the time i was on it. I believe it was giving me mild serotonin syndrome. I then tried to come off and again withdrawals so I was put on prozac and buspar. Stayed on it until 25. I decided to come off, but did a very small tapper compared to what is needed. The withdrawals were manageable at first, but then they came full force. I was throwing up, head spinning, brain zaps, you name it. I thought it'd never end. that's when I found this group and a few other people hwo have through the same on intagram. The success stories in here gave me so much hope, and that's why I wanted to create mine. Yes, it was horrible. The worse was aroound 6 months, then took 18 months to feel almost close to normal, and now its almost two years, and my nervous system is no where near where it was when I came off the drugs. I'm able to drive, exercise, run, wake up with energy in the morning, go to the store without feeling like my world is spinning, and so much more. For me prayer, supporting my body, and believing I was going to be ok, were huge in my recovery. DUring my worst times where I'd feel hopeless prayer became my strenght and usually something would come that reminded i'd be ok. i also found the work of Dr. Ray peat on serotonin. OS when we come off these drugs our serotonin receptors are all over the place and we actually need to lower them most time. This why I decided to go bakc to the doctors and asked ot be presribed Vistaril, hydroxizine, which is a non addictive, take as needed anciety med. Its simply a potent antihistamine, so there is no withdrawals from it. It realy was of huge help at my very worst to bring some stabiity from the nausea, dizinness and racing heart. I really recommend anyone going through withdrawal to try this if they feel like they can;t simply handle it before going back on the ssri's. I no longer really take it as I now take cbd, but it is usually considered a safe drug free of withdrawals if given at small doses as is simply once again, a potent antihistamine. Apart from that, I worked on bettering my thyroid, nutritional level, and make sure to stay hydrated with mineral water and coconut water to help my nervous system. I also impletened a lot of grounding which is supper healing for the nervous system. AT my worst, I'd simply wake up early in the morning to sit on the grass and take in some sun while sipping on coconut water and listening to worship music. That was very healing for me. But I really encourage anyone here to check out the Walsh protocol and perhaps work with Walsh practiciner as they're expect in treating mental illness naturlaly and healing the many hormonal imbalances and nutritional deficiencies behind long lasting withdrawal symptoms. Please also research mind syndrome and german new medicine so you can learn more how your brain has the ability to keep creating symptoms even after the withdrawl is over and also to learn how the body has immense healing abilities and if taken care of and supported it is very well capable of healing from psych drugs withdrawals. To anyone reading this going through the worse right now, please hang in there, it gets better, it truly does! But makes ure you're getting enough rest, being gentel with yourself, and supporting your body with sunshine, minerals, and plenty of grounding if you also wish. I truly think constant grounding was huge in shortening the duration of my nervous system breakdown. Also find your grounding stone, by that I mean that something that gives you a little hope when it all seems lost. I remember when I was barely even levaing my room, I had a lttile picture with a Bible verse letting me know God was in control. I'd look at it everytime i;d feel panic and repeat myself the words in it. I also hope with this post inspires some to find their support in The Faithful father we have in heaven. As you go through this, I promise you, that you're not alone. I remember reading another srri success story on instagram and how at her worst moment she pleaded with God and a humming bird suddenly appeared on her window. She also beautifully stated how most times when she'd feel low the humming bird would suddenly appear. For me it was an orange butterfly and owl. Many times when life just felt hopeless i'd go to my backyard and boom an orange butterfly would come to my greeting. other times, an owl would literally appear out of nowhere, and my mom also oftentimes saw it, so I wasn;t hallucinating form the withdrawls haha! But I hope this encourgaes you and reminds you that this universe is huge and there is a purpose and a reaosn why you're here. You're loved and cared for, trust that. With a little faith and time you'll be an even stronger and better version than you were before all of this. Oh! I also found @cherellethinks page on instagram very helpful. HSe had her own journeyw ith anxiety, a truly life changing one and also took psych drugs. SHe does one on one coaching and can be of huge help for many in here! @brookesiem is also extremely knowledgeable and has her own encouragng story! SHe also answers dm's and helps answers questions you might have, Last one is @livingrootswellness. Theresa is awsome and also usually answers questions about her withdrawal story. SHe also has an eft tapping group and offers incredible information on improbving withdrawals symptoms! Hang in there my friends! This is truly horrible what you;re experiencing. But with some faith and dedication from our part it gets better! Also, I;m sorry for the many errors. I'll come back soon to fix it. I'm very sleepy but felt liek it was alreay time I wrote my story to hopefully help someone out there. I;m not anit psych drugs by any means, I knwo there were likely of help for me at a time, but I do find there are many alternatives to try before putting somoen on a drug cocktail. ALso, i feel like there is no medical training or experience when it comes to tappering patienst of these drugs. Hopefully, with time this chnages.
  9. I was put on SSRIs when I was 10. Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I never got off them until adulthood. I guess I took it for granted that I needed them. I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that it could be anything but positive or maybe neutral. Really, I don't remember much of what I thought as a child. I grew much worse after that though people could say "that was going to happen anyway", as they do. I have traced a few severe blowups (that had fairly life-altering consequences) to medication changes around that time. My adolescence was the gradual end of any sort of comfort in and control over my own mind. But again, don't these changes sounds similar enough to normal adolescent development that they are very easily dismissed? I couldn't really explain how or why it was any different. That my stress was not of the normal variety. That my mind working worse wasn't simply due to the stress. Even as I made some headway on issues I had, things seemed to get harder. I suspected the level of anxiousness I was feeling wasn't normal. I think my whole system was in a state of hyper arousal. I had intrusive thoughts. Strange patterns of thinking. Positive emotions were blunted. Negative emotions were excruciating. I always felt unsafe because I could sense that my mind and my body had become clumsy and bad at assessing, reacting, defending. I found no pleasure in doing things or accomplishing what little I could. Grew increasingly confused. Increasingly demoralized and demotivated because the good feelings that I felt should have followed from certain pleasures and victories now felt hollow. I have a memory of walking somewhere around my neighborhood around 18 and being horrified that nothing looked real. It was like I was looking at inert paintings. This examples of derealization was just one of many terrifying, confusing experiences I was subjected to throughout my adolescence as the older adults I turned to dismissed and demeaned and blamed me for something they either directly inflicted on me or that was inflicted with their participation and complicity. I was beginning to hope in 2016 because I realized my mental state had begun to improve by leaps and bounds after my emotionally abusive brother moved away and I had less exposure to him. I could still not function though. I was slow to do things. Couldn't figure things out. Had no one who understood. I decided to gamble with coming off my meds. "If anything bad happens I can always just go back on them." I gradually lowered the doses of Wellbutrin and then Prozac over 2-3 months. It felt like nothing really changed. Then 3 months after stopping Prozac, I started to become extremely irritable and angry. Losing it and throwing things. I thought I will go back on. And I think, that was the end. My head felt like it exploded. If I thought I had trouble thinking before, it was nothing compared to what I experienced after taking the next pill. I could not sit still and be calm and think. I turned to my GP who vaguely said I should go back on and would resume to a stable state eventually. So I raised the doses, fighting through an excrucating battle because I believed at the end of the road was some bit of safety. For a year, I tormented myself for not only nothing but with the consequence of leaving myself much worse off. By the time I came off again in 2018, I knew I should be doing a slow taper. But I could not figure out anything complex myself. I could not do anything requiring fine motor skills or thinking. I thought if I didn't do it then, I never would. By July 2018, I had come off them both again. Weaning by weeks at a dose though I knew this wasn't enough. I hoped that I would just have to fight through irritability again. Maybe this time, it wouldn't be so bad since I knew it was coming. In some ways, that was true. But I didn't realize how bad it could get. I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to speak or stand up or walk or that every second would feel like an eternity or that I would never have a moment's peace or pleasure or hope. And I didn't know that after suffering through torment for years, I would be left in a state that feels, if not quite as tormenting, just as hopeless. A life devoid of pleasure or meaning. A life where every pathway to anything better is cut off. My food sensitivities developed at 6 months cessation the 2nd withdrawal (around January 2019). At least that's when they hit that I noticed. They'd probably been in the works for a long time before that. Really, even before I'd come off my meds, I think. I ate very little. The few people who saw me said they worried I would die of starvation. I wish I had. Eating most food made the constant pulsating inside shake me violently. And since 99% of the time I had to be lying down, it was not bearable. They also worsened intrusive thoughts and thought patterns which seemed very much like the beginnings of psychosis. I guessed from something I read here that I'd developed a histamine intolerance and it was a a bit easier to manage. Apples were the only thing that helped but it was only local (from this province) and even they were not a guarantee. Ones that didn't work actually made me worse even that other types of foods. An apple from an otherwise good lot that had its skin broken somewhere (those very tiny nicks you see on some) was a bad one and would make me worse. I always hoped to get good ones but rarely did. Much of the worst of my withdrawal, then and now is inextricably linked to my environment: an impossibly disorderly old house mess spilling everywhere and nowhere sanitary to put anything. This not only exacerbated chemical sensitivities which exploded in withdrawal but made me have daily meltdowns because of what as been diagnosed as 'obsessive compulsive disorder" and hyperarousal. If this was extremely distressing and soul-killing before, now in withdrawal it felt more like perpetual sexual violation. I lay in bed with labored breathing, chest pulsating heavily in a way I can't describe. A hurricane of intrusive thoughts in a brain that felt like it had shrunk to the size of a tiny crawlspace so that these thoughts would ricochet around endlessly. I tried to attempt meditation many times but it didn't help. Why would it? One of the first things you're told to do is find a comfortable space. Somewhere you feel relaxed. You might as well tell someone to practice beginner mediation in a mosh pit. In fact, trying to meditate seemed to agitate mental symptoms and worsen awareness of the physical ones. Perhaps if I was already experienced it would have been different. But I wasn't. By the time, my CNS had calmed down enough to try do anything about it again even slightly disturbing certain things would now trigger dust/mold being raised and would cause unbearable feelings. I can't really properly explain the extent to which every single process has been affected. How little I do. Am able to do. How much I've needed to further shut down my brain to deal with worrying about inevitable problems that crop up. My thinking in a calm, clean environment would probably be pretty screwed up still but if I'd had that, I probably would have been able to function and my withdrawal probably wouldn't have been hellish. One of the most important things in withdrawal is to not overstimulate your CNS. For me, the bombardment never stopped. And there was nothing I could do. Thoughts (and occasional attempts) at explaining and asking for help did little good. I was also terrified (and still am) that I would be put somewhere I might be forced to take more psychiatric medications. I even wonder if I could be coerced into it. My mind feels very loose and easy to knock over. Scared. I think it would possible that I could be bullied and shamed into thinking my entire interpretation of events had been wrong and acquiesce to more meds. Especially if I was in an even more helpless position than I am now. I am constantly tired. I can't plan and organize. I don't have a routine. I can barely make food (making healthy food that requires multiple steps is pretty much out of the question). My brain has a lot of trouble with managing different trains of thoughts and things. When I try, it triggers panic, anxiety and this exacerbates physical sensations which lead to more panic/anixety. I know my clothes often make me feel worse if they bits of dust on them. I don't know if that is because the dust in this old house carries mold spores and whatnot or it's just any dust. I also react to scents from almost anything. I've seen this is apparently called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity disorder which barely seems to be taken any more seriously than PAWS. I want to wash my clothes but the steps to doing that often just levae my brain in knots trying to think of how to position myself, move things without surfaces to put things on, keep them from getting more dust on them. And doing it leaves me exhausted. On many days, I'm too tired to even consider it. When I try to think of doing certain things, it's like my brain is being compressed and pinched and stretched. I can feel it in my face muscles and neck. It's torturous and if I push far enough it doesn't help me to do anything. I just lose it and start screaming. I want to ask for help but I know that any help rendered, I would need to explain or at least come up with some lie. I don't know how to do either. How can I say: it is likely pointless to even ask doctors about this because they deny it? How can I say: I have to decide between being cold or not wearing my coat or sweater today because whatever invisible little bits of grime that got on it make my chest feel clenched and my mind go stiff and inflexible in ways that prevents me from thinking and making decisions? I can't even sit in the living room because mold was released from an AC 2 years ago and I can't tolerate the air. I want to find out which air purifiers to get but my brain reels and shuts down trying to figure it out. Thinking about having to get them together to send them back. Figuring out where to put them. It's not the unpleasantness of the process but the fear that the process will bring everything to a screeching halt and there will be even less hope. My mother has barely held together and took care of me but she is older and been slowly collapsing. When I could finally more-or-less manage on my own (getting my own food, ordering groceries, paying bills) she stopped doing anything. I get her books and her meds and she reads and comes out to go the bathroom and make tv dinners. She had already been having emotional battles with my brother for decades before this and I had become her main source of emotional support. She lost this, faced years more of torment and also heard me say (very directly and unkindly things) terrible things when I had meltdowns. Her movement and life is restricted because I am here. She is worried about doing anything that will harm me. We switched rooms because the air in mind stopped me even from sleeping. The house is falling apart. I don't think there is any good future for either of us. I have thought of doing something to land myself in jail or psychiatric care despite the certain torture of forced meds though but think that likely I would just end up there for a time, be left worse off and then in my weakness and with a further damaged brain come back home and I know she would let me. Then I would be back to square 1 and maybe in a more volatile condition that could actually be dangerous. I have feared I would be violent many times. Both because I have so absorbed the idea that I was a bad person and didn't know what I was or wasn't capable of and because I had no idea what may be possible with the brain damage I have suffered. Suicide would solve that but leave her with terrible grief. She would be able to live at least in some manner though I suppose she might no longer want to. Reaching out to somewhere or other for some kind of help means, to me, an army of condescending, reality-denying people to whom I expose my pain and vulnerabilities after all my strength has already been drained. In all my years of experience, I know mostly people do not help. At least they haven't helped me. Maybe it works better when no one's story veers too off-script from what they know. I have thought sometimes of reinstatement. I've also thought maybe the one (I think it's an SSRI) that is suppose to calm that CNS for some people. Much of what I try to think or do is sort of violently cut down even before the thought emerges. I'm always pulled this way and that. But it goes beyond mental and I feel it in a physical way and there is unbelievable force that I can't describe. Every time I'd try to write this, I would stop because of this. I would not know what I was saying, not know the importance, be concerned with the order, the meaning and interpretation, what I was conveying, etc. Things converge into a traffic crash in my head and half thought and action. I don't have postitive thoughts about recovery. It seems usually it is people who were only on for a few years at most. People who began taking them in adulthood. People whose lives and basic functioning as human beings weren't as completely wrecked for their entire lives. I don't really feel entirely good about posting now. But it's been almost 3 years now. I might as well post something. Thank you for reading. I feel embarrassed and disspirited that I won't probably be able to absorb and implement any advice.
  10. Well, first I want to thank Alto for creating this site which helped immensely during those hard times (and there were many ) and also to all the members whom helped along the way. I finished my taper 4 years ago this month after I believe was 3 other month long tapers had failed. This last time I started a 10% taper in December 2013 after being on mostly 10 mg . Paxil and a few runs of 20 mg. I finished my taper I believe April 15th 2015. The last 6 months of the taper which was basically dust particles of Paxil was brutal. The next year was pretty rough with anhedonia and being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that I am certain ether Paxil or the antibiotic Levaquin caused (if you read my story you will find that Levaquin started this whole cascading process of decreasing health and medicines. Year two I was feeling better but still not myself. Not really interested in my prior hobbies. Year 3 is when I was really starting to change back to ME again and was interested in lots of things again. The only thin that has held me back is the physical pain from my autoimmune issues. I have considered myself healed for about a year now but it seems like there was even more to come, which is where I'm at now. Doing just great ,although I do have lower libido than I thought I would. Without TMI , was the equivalent of an 18 year old until about the time Paxil pooped out on me. I was 45 then and now 50 so I guess this might be considered normal aging but I will never know🙄. Anyway, all parts work but not as good as before and not as often, so for the PSSD people, it does get better, but at my age now I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be🤔. So there it is in a nutshell, things are really good, I'm in a shitload of pain from AI issues but life is still great. It's been a really long time since I have been on here and I don't visit too often at all anymore because I'm too busy at life. I'm going to post a link to my story so anyone interested can see how I was able to do it. If anyone has any questions, I will try to answer when I can because I'm so damn busy at life again.
  11. About three years ago, I went to a new psychiatrist, highly recommended by my therapist, to ask him about getting off the venlafaxine and clonazepam I was put on 20 and 15 years ago. When I left I had two new prescriptions: bupropion and lamictal. He thought I was severely depressed. The lamictal was supposed to counteract the effects on adrenaline production of long-term use of venlafaxine. It worked overnight. I enjoyed a few years of relatively good mood. I was also 3 years sober then, and now 6.5 years. Quitting all psychotropics has been on my mind for years. An early experience with Paxil in the 1990s--I took it for maybe a month, tops, but it made me groggy. I became sicker than I'd ever been--flat on my back with vertigo, horrible nightmares, and continuous nausea, as well as the brain stuff. Lucky for me, all this cleared up after about a week. Of course any doctor I spoke to about this had no idea. I am here to learn about weaning, and to find support for making a decision and beginning the baby steps.
  12. ADMIN NOTE Farmgirlworks's Introductions topic is here. A pickle-and-cheese sandwich marked the beginning of the end of this trip to hell. At 25 months, I stopped in at a neighborhood yard sale. While my friend looked at a carpet from Mexico, I was drawn to an older man sitting on the front stoop and eating something. I looked closer and saw that it was a pickle-and-cheese sandwich. And I realized that I *wanted* one. I craved it. Bad. It was a strange feeling after months of forcing myself to eat and often could only stomach potato chips dipped in butter. I walked over and discussed the sandwich with him. Havarti cheese, bread, lettuce, and, of course, pickles. He told me that the brine of pickles is good for cramping. “I come from a long line of crampers,” he said. I could not get it out of my mind. I actually had a CRAVING. Next stop was the grocery store and I got all the ingredients. I dressed it up a little by making it into a grilled cheese and pickle sandwich with lettuce, mayo and mustard. Cut it into little triangles and, well on the eighth day, God made a pickle-and-cheese sandwich. And it was good. Best of all, I knew I was going to heal in time. The corner had been turned. . . . For every person who is in withdrawal -- wherever you are in the process -- you will heal!!! Know that, deeply breathe it in. Healing is inevitable… unfortunately the pain is too but it will eventually end. Hang in there. I didn’t “think” I would recover but always “believed” it because of the Success Stories. I have gone through so much high stress the past 3 years -- some of which was withdrawal but a lot was situational family dramas, auto near death experiences, and meeting my biological father less than a year ago. It’s been, well, "a lot." However, I am grateful and humbled to be on the other side. Yes, I still trend toward depression and anxiety but not at sky-high withdrawal levels. I now have tools to cope. Creativity is increasing each day and my motivation and cognition, while lagging a few steps behind, is coming back as well. And while anger is hard-wired into my DNA, now I am more of a firecracker than a bomb. ~~~ Drug: sertraline (zoloft) 50-75mg Time on drug: Jan 2012 - April 2017 Kindling: cold-turkey (CT) multiple times including once in 2015 for 6 months Fast-tapered sertraline 5ish weeks Complete end on April 1, 2017 Age/sex: 50yo female Recovery: 33 months, 90+ percent Supplements: magnesium powder, fish oil, aspirin. I used others ($$$) but nothing with regularity. ~~~ I was put on sertraline because I had just come back to Seattle from a six-month stint in an isolated, tiny rural town as a funeral director -- not stressful at all. I quickly fell into physically painful depression and high anxiety because I had no job, no place to live, and a new dog -- not stressful at all. No doubt I had PTSD. If I knew then what I know now, I should have splurged on therapy, quit drinking, and gotten a gym membership. But I did not and after two months asked my GP to prescribe anything to make the pain stop. After a couple weeks on Wellbutrin which created such anxiety, I quit and switched to Zoloft. And it worked. At least for a while. But there was breakthrough depression and I did not want to be dependent on a drug for the rest of my life. Of course, the GP gave me the lines about “it’s just like insulin for a diabetic” and “you have a chemical imbalance.” I went rogue several times and tried to stop cold turkey because this stuff isn’t addictive, right? I finally decided in spring 2017 that I wanted to stop for good. I decided to attend an ayahuasca ceremony for Easter -- hippie! -- and knew I could not be on an SSRI to do it. So I did a fast taper for Lent and in 5ish weeks stopped. The ayahuasca was transformative and I felt great… until I soon did not. My therapist at the time, with no medical knowledge, advised I switch to Lexapro because “it worked” for her. I dumped her immediately because my soul knew this was not right and was beginning to sound like a medical pharmaceutical conspiracy. After a couple months of suffering and quitting drinking, I found Surviving Antidepressants and saw that indeed this pain was REAL and experienced by others and I could lean into the expertise here. I’ve never looked back. The moderators said it would take time and indeed it did. Here is my thread about it. ~~~ The following helped me stay alive… I was going to say “and hope” but, frankly, there were several months when I didn’t have a shred of hope. It is the absolute worst (insert every curse ever uttered) hell. And I say this as someone who survived brain surgery. Yes: this is worse. And you will get through it. What kept me alive: - information - peer support - Success Stories on this site - acceptance - rage at pharmaceutical companies I obsessively read most of the “symptoms” threads to find out what was happening and get information. I needed proof that I wasn’t a freak of nature and that others had experienced the exact same thing… and recovered. The information on this site is invaluable, I learned so much. We are lucky to have such a comprehensive resource. I also watched YouTube videos, Baylissa Frederick videos, and read Beyond Meds and Inner Compass Initiative. The peer support on SA is exceptional -- I am reading over my thread and moved to tears (I can cry now!) by the compassion of members. I briefly hosted a Meetup for other withdrawal folks and could only do it a few times because I was still ill (apologies to The Smiths). I could not hold space for the misery and sad stories that people appeared with. One dear girl came with a handwritten letter in pencil on lined paper about her experience -- I am still haunted and inspired by her courage. I bow to the moderators here and what they do daily. Their knowledge and compassion blow my mind. It is a strength not many of us have. Part of my diet was reading the Success Stories over and over and over. There are some that I read at least a dozen times, eating up every single word and ingesting the message that “it does get better, hang on.” Do good writers get afflicted with withdrawal? It seems so based on the Success Stories. Seriously, I cannot recommend these enough to give you the strength to make it through one more day, hour, minute, second. Acceptance came late in the game because I couldn’t believe this might go on for years. I had to hit rock bottom first: unable to work, “friends” disappearing, and the possibility of never feeling any semblance of joy again. In the beginning, I resolved to go on by giving myself deadlines. “If you make it one year and everything still is this bad, go back on drugs.” “If you make it 18 months and it is still this bad, you can kill yourself.” “If you make it 24 months and it is still this bad, then you can storm the office of the CEO of Pfizer.” Yeah, immature crap, I know. But it helped me stick it out. Then at 2 years, my bio-father unexpectedly entered my life and deadlines were no longer viable options -- that relationship means the world to me. I think that was when I truly started to “accept” that I’d be sick as long as I was sick and get well when I got well. Yes, rage is not zen, not productive, and probably wasted energy. But it was the spark in my darkest hours that kept me going. I don’t mean homicidal rage, just the desire to add to information about how real and bad this experience is. There is a rage that comes with not being “seen” and this illness is definitely not seen except by those going through it and a few compassionate people. Every time I read “discontinuation syndrome” in media articles, I wanted to pull my hair out. Still do. I firmly believe that it will be seen eventually and want to support that however possible. What has helped me, but is not in the category of keeping me alive, is first and foremost kundalini yoga. I am now taking a training course in kundalini and am developing a class for people going through withdrawal. It is a trauma unto itself and the focus on the glandular system and, especially, strengthening nerves has helped immensely in healing. AA for honest sharing. I wasn’t able to get into the personal soul-searching until half way through the second year as what I was experiencing was chemical and no amount of soul searching was going to change that. I was legit envious of those who recovered from alcohol or opiates in months and here I was suffering from prescribed medication for years. And, I had reservations -- sometimes explosive anger -- at the members on psych drugs. However, now I am getting so much from AA, seeing patterns, changing my behavior going forward, forgiving myself the past. Hydrotherapy in the form of pools, hot tubs, and saunas were a big part at the end of year 1. Especially the sauna. I religiously do a cold rinse at the end of showers. This stimulates the parasympathetic system through the vagus nerve. Check out Wim Hof on YouTube. I do it because of kundalini but this method is a widely accepted way to strengthen nerves. And taking epsom salt baths a couple times a week calmed my body especially during bouts of akathisia. Acupuncture: I still do this regularly and she followed the NADA protocol for drug withdrawal (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5153313/) Art! It took a good year before I began to have glimpses of ideas for art projects. My thread has the work I did. Sometimes just sitting and slowly stitching was all I could manage. The last piece was drawn from quotes here and I am proud of it as a piece of activism. Timed gratitude lists for 10-15 minutes each day. Did this for a few months in the second year. I got this from a site about combating anhedonia and there is a neurological basis to strengthen the “wires” of positive connections in the brain. The gratitudes always have to be different to strengthen your “mind muscle” to see more positive events. Yeah, it sounds hokey... and it also helped. ~~~ Symptoms, I’ve had a few but not too few to mention (if you think “My Way,” please make it the Sid Vicious version): black depression, sky-high anxiety, neuro-emotions, anhedonia, daily suicidal ideation, headaches, severe head pressure, low appetite, panic attacks, leaky eyes, facial nerves tingling, akathisia, cortisol morning spikes, fatigue, tense shoulders and neck, cognitive decline (cog fog), depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR), no creativity, impulsive rage at people on the street, catatonia, intrusive thoughts, unmotivated, no confidence, no self-esteem, and emotional dysregulation (a later symptom). Had short windows but mainly months of waves. Triggers: fluorescent lights, caffeine, processed food, crowds, unsupportive family/friends, and above all else, high situational stress. ~~~ Admittedly, I am nervous about big situational stressors that are marching down the pike in the form of aging parents (now I have three), financial security, and vocation. Then, there is the “3 year relapse.” My memory is not good and focus is difficult. But both are steadily improving. I do wonder if this experience has made me less resilient to depression and anxiety. However! I made it through and if that doesn’t take serious resilience, I don’t know what does. So screw the nervousness: I’ll survive yet again. You will too. ❤️ . . . It just wasn't like the old days anymore No, it wasn't like those days... Does the body rule the mind Or does the mind rule the body? I dunno – THE SMITHS, "STILL ILL" ~~~ Book recommendations The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth by Gerald May Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker Own Your Self and A Mind of Your Own by Dr Kelly Brogan Death Grip: A Climber's Escape from Benzo Madness by Matt Samet Blue Dreams by Lauren Slater
  13. Hello, my name is Ben from Germany, I am 26 years old. I stopped taking Fluoxetin 20mg After 4 weeks because of the immens problems with the medicine. I had stomache, brain and health problems, lost Libido and nearly no erection and lost feelings in my genitals. Now after 5 months off I still have so many Problems. I feel sick, have Brain/ thinking Problems and I am Always tired and have no power at all. I dont want to do anything... sad :( and I dont have any erection... its like if he‘s dead. So now I am wondering what could/ should I do? My girlfriend is really nice but I think she needs sex :( and I cant. Was the Cold turkey a bad decision? What would u recommend to me? Thanks for your answers, Ben (26)
  14. New to this group. Im healthy 53 year old male. I am extremely chemically sensitive to medication and have experienced tapers to get off medication before. I took Prozac for 6-7 years and started an extremely slow & long taper using a trusted compounding pharmacist of which I finally had my last dose 10 months ago. Rarely had any symptoms after cuts (only some GI issues) but occasionally had slight anxiety/depression/blurred vision/etc. Its been 9 mths since my last dose and I'll be damned I'm getting very bad psych symptoms that are becoming reoccurring (a few the other day, a lot two days ago, several today, etc). I've read Dr. Joseph Glennmullen's book on tapering and, if this doesn't just stop, I believe I'm gonna have to get back on my last dose or something close to it and taper off even more slowly over a much longer time. Thoughts? Prozac's half life was supp to make this whole thing easier but Im starting to believe it just delayed any w/d symptoms from showing I made too big of cuts and did it too fast for someone that doesnt metabolize medication well. Its almost like a delayed fuse. Any advice other than 1) wait and see if it all passes or 2) get back on my last dose or close to it and taper even more slowly over a long time?
  15. Hi, As I tried to state in my signature, I have been on Viibryd for 7-8 years at varying rates but 10-30mg. I determined back in January 2023 that I wanted to get off the medication as my life was stable and I wanted to get pregnant in the near future and Viibryd is not approved for pregnant women. My doctor directed me to go off the meds in two weeks, but I knew from experience that I could feel Viibryd withdrawals very soon after missing a dose. I began a self-directed taper (prior to finding this site but reading about it on Reddit). I did 10mg to 5mg to 2.5 mg for one month each. I was doing okay with the taper until I got to 2.5 mg and I wasn't settling out. I called my doctor and he put me on 10mg of Prozac as a bridge and then i just stopped the Prozac. I then began to experience the withdrawal symptoms from April 2023 until I decided to reinstate Prozac (approved for pregnancy) in August 2023. I reinstated per my doctor's directions of 20mg of Prozac. I took it for about 8 days and felt totally sick, which I believe was kindling. I stopped taking it at day 8 and let it naturally taper out of my body. Around day 14 of the natural taper, I started to feel alright and wished I could bottle that drug level in my system to use as a starting point for reintroduction. Almost 3 weeks to the day since I stopped the 20mg of Prozac, I began to have major withdrawal symptoms. This time iI had a bit of a plan and I reinstated with 0.5mg of Prozac and I have been taking that for 6 weeks now. It helped at first with mitigating the dizziness and keeping the bottom from falling out with mood swings and suicidal ideations. However, I'm starting to feel quite jittery and anxious again and the dizziness is back. My plan was to hold at 0.5mg of Prozac until the end of the year and then begin a 10% taper from there. I'm wondering if: -Is 0.5mg of Prozac the proper dose? -Could my issue be that I'm still withdrawing from Viibryd and I'm just compounding it with Prozac? -Should I just stop all meds altogether? -I have had some recent major life events that are causing me anxiety so should I just hold here? Even though I'm not totally stable? -I drink alcohol daily. Around 4oz of vodka. Since the life events, I have been waking in the middle of the night around 3am with a pounding heart and anxiety. Is this due to the alcohol? Or is it due to the Prozac and the levels it's at? I have been drinking daily throughout this whole ordeal so I don't see that as a changed variable but it certainly could be. -I would eventually like to quit birth control. Is there a good or better time to do that? -Other medications I take daily are: famotidine and zyrtec Thank you for your help.
  16. Dear All, I can not begin this post with out sharing a massive thank you to you all for all your personal insights, knowledge, and camaraderie. I may have only just joined (and, I never thought I would) but my tapering journey has vicariously benefited via your experiences and your sharing of them on SA so generously. Like many, I was horrified when I first realised that I was ‘addicted’ to such powerful drugs, after a powerful label (aka diagnosis) was bestowed upon me by a powerful professional (aka psychiatrist) operating within and for powerful industries such as mental health care system and big pharma. Here’s my drug history… 1995 -2000: Addictive sleeping tablet use. 2000: Abrupt withdrawal of sleeping tablet. 2000 - 2001: Multiple drugs with multiple switching on various doses including antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilisers, and other possibly other psychotropics (forgotten which). As well as sleeping tablets and benzodiazepines (forgotten which), while at most unwell ‘manic’, ‘depressed’, etc. 2001 - 2011: ‘Stable’ on Paroxetine 20mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night). Some occasional sleeping tablets use for approx. 3/4 years during this time, more during the middle of the decade. 2011: Abrupt withdrawal of above medication, tfollowed by severe headaches. Some occasional triptan use for 1/2 months. 2012: Reinstated Paroxetine 20mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night) for 2/3months due to ‘depression’ 2012: Abrupt withdrawal of above drugs. Severe headaches continued this time with some kind of burning prickly type sensations at the face. 2013: Trialled multiple drugs to manage headaches, including one antidepressant at low dose for 1 week (forgotten which), then Pregabalin for 2/3 months (adverse affect followed), then crossed-switched/cross-tapered to another antidepressant (forgotten which) at low dose. More multiple physical difficulties followed (pain again, mostly headaches with the same some kind of burning prickly sensations. but also back, neck and limbs). 2013: Abrupt withdrawal from low dose antidepressant for headache. 2013 - 2014: Multiple antipsychotic drugs with multiple switching on various doses, as well as sleeping tablets and benzodiazepines. 2014: Reinstated Paroxetine 20mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night). Anxiety and still occasional headaches. 2014 - 2017: ‘Stable’ on Paroxetine 20mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night). Addictively using sleeping tablets during this time. Continued anxiety and still some headaches. 2017: Trailed melatonin for 1 week, then promethazine for 1 week (forgotten doses) for sleep. Trailed another antipsychotic (maybe Chlorpromazine) for sleep for another week (forgotten dose). No sleeping tablets during this time. 2017: Abrupt withdrawal of all above medication. 2018: Reinstated Paroxetine 20mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night). 2018: Began slow taper off Paroxetine. At 10mg severe headaches began, switched to 10mg fluoxetine. Continued on Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night. Continued occasional use of sleeping tablet. 2018 - 2023: Stable’ on Fluoxetine 10mg and Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and night). Continued occasional use of sleeping tablets and and sometimes benzodiazepines during this time. Continued pain, headaches, anxiety. Note - Throughout the above years I have been an inpatient and outpatient with decisions made for me regarding drugs including abrupt withdrawals. Some withdrawals were planned planned by me when unaware of withdrawal knowledge. Others while I was ‘unwell’ and began by unwittingly missing a dose. Throughout the years, like many of us I have experienced so many ‘symptoms’ either on or off the drugs already well documented throughout the SA website. Above, I have tried to share my main complaints and history as best as I can remember. I would also like to make known that there are some non prescription remedies/herbs/vitamins I have tried and still use including CBD, Omega 3. Beyond the drugs, I have tried to live a life as best as I can at times working within the mental health care system supporting other patients in various roles. I have recognised some of the more destructive ways I have coped e.g. alcohol misuse, poor/toxic interpersonal relationships, etc. and developed new ones especially with my people such as ourselves aka peers. It’s all still a learning journey, and I am far from perfect and never expect to be. I have been the best I have been in some time since I began my taper in 2018, and my partner and I have decided to have a child and that’s what has promoted me to join the site. I am hoping to understand how best I can taper from Carbamazepine Prolonged Release 400mg (200mg morning and 200mg night). Unfortunately, I began a rather rapid taper 4 weeks ago without realising that it too would come with quite significant withdrawal affects similar to that of AD. Yes, of course I feel rather silly, sad, and annoyed with myself for not realising this given what is on the site already. I genuinely thought as it’s a different type of drug it wouldn’t cause such problems. Alas, that’s not the case and I have learned my lesson fast. The rapid taper went like this: Original Dose 400mg Carbamazepine Prolonged Release (200mg morning and 200mg night). Week 1 - 200mg morning, 100mg night Week 2 - 100mg morning, 100mg night Week 3 - 50mg morning, 50mg night Week 4 - 50mg morning, 50mg night. Today (still week 4) - reinstated 200mg morning (as more withdrawal symptoms developing which are not being mitigated by Omega 3 and CBD). With it being prolonged release I am unsure how to progress from here. Doctor had agreed to prescribe 100mg of immediate/usual release so I can figure this out. My thinking is I can treat this morning 200mg dose as a ‘rescue dose’ and reinstate at 100mg of immediate release daily but cut it into 3-4 doses spread out in the day. The brand is Tegretol by Norvotis. I welcome any advice you all have. Just to be clear, I am not a Doctor, or any other Physician, and can’t not give advice. Nothing I share should be construed as an expert view please. Nor do I recommend a rapid taper. As mentioned, I mistakenly did not think carbamazepine would cause such a problem with it being a different type of drug. Perhaps I was having a rose-tinted glasses affect on account of wanting a child, which I accept. Thank you. WeLiveInHope
  17. Hi everyone, I wish I found this website before all my previous attempts to stop SSRIs. I’m grateful that this website exist. My story with ADs began in 2015, after a “diagnosis” for OCD (had the mildest tendencies), and recommended to go on an SSRIs. I was introduced to the whole “chemical imbalance” theory and both the therapist and GP assured me that the drug is safe, easy to stop with no long term side effects! so I took the decision to try ADs which turned out to be a huge mistake and an ongoing cycle of being on ADs and WDs. ADs and WDs timeline: 2015-2017 : on Cipralex 10-20 mg (short taper, 15-10-5-0 mg). 2017-2018: off Cipralex, withdrawal. Was recommended to go back on Cipralex for the second time due to a “relapse”. Dec 2018 - march 2020: on Cipralex for the 2nd time, between 10-20 mg. Alternating between 10, 15 20 mg trying to figure out what works throughout the “treatment” (3 months taper or less) March 2020-oct 2020: of Cipralex. Second withdrawal, started with dizziness, depression, fatigue.. etc and by the 6th month, turned into constant panic attacks, severe DPDR and agoraphobia. It was was unbearable, I couldn’t function. Drs dismissed that its withdrawal since the severe symptoms started 6 months after and gave a “diagnosis” for panic disorder. Before ADs, I never had these issues. I was desperate and agreed to go back on ADs but asked for a different one. Oct 2020-March 2022: on Prozac 20 mg. 3rd time on SSRIs. Suffered from common side effects (as well as on Cipralex before), but noticed some previous WD symptoms remained while on Prozac (got milder), like DR, anxiety, fatigue, cold like symptoms, socially withdrawn. I think my body didn’t adjust well due to CNS becoming highly sensitive after the previous WD. I was functioning but not living. (3 months taper, 18,15,12,10,7,5,3,0 mg), thinking the problem was tapering method and not length, got both wrong. March 2022 - April 2023 (13 months): off Prozac, severe withdrawal.. Current WD timeline and symptoms: The first 6 months off of Prozac: internal buzz, tingling legs, insomnia, DPDR, flu like symptoms, dizziness, gut issues, etc., but I managed to function to some extent. By the 7th month: I started experiencing crippling symptoms, including peripheral neuropathy symptoms, tingling on legs and feet hand arms and other parts, burning and numbness legs/arms/head, light, sound, and smell sensitivities, strong internal buzz, gut issues, vertigo, tinnitus on/off, closed eyes visions, strange nerve throbbing sensations, chronic fatigue, coordination issues, dizziness, dehydration, PSSD, doom, agoraphobia, OCD, zaps, mini seizures, internal buzz, gut issues, health anxiety and DPDR and more. This lasted 4 months in its severity. Was bedridden 90% of my day. PTSD symptoms, shock, and disbelief from my experience with SSRIs and WDs. By month 11 off: changed my diet, few symptoms improved (some improved in severity while would fade and return), the rest remained. I developed new symptoms, mostly cognitive, like brain fog and brain pressure, anhedonia, difficulty speaking, memory and imagination issues. Now 13 month off: some symptoms resolved, some improved, some remained and some got worse like tinnitus (all the time now), and PSSD. Still unable to function, and under immense pressure to. Drs keep suggesting SSRIs, and at desperate times, I wonder if it’s a good idea to go back on SSRIs only to taper correctly and stabilize my CNS, after knowing the information on tapering now. This feels like a defeat after waiting and struggling for more than a year with withdrawal (and all the years before that). I think I’m kindled, cuz every time I've been on ADs or gone through WD again, both experiences got worse. I don’t know whats best at this stage, and confused by the conflicting claims online and from Drs. I would appreciate any support, recommendations and encouragements.
  18. Hello all, I am obviously new here and want to share my story with the hopes that maybe someone will find it useful or interesting, or perhaps someone can relate to it or even offer their own insights. I have had a long history of depression, so much so that I've never really been able to function as an adult. It got to the point where I was actively suicidal but never quite reached the tipping point of going through with it. I eventually made a breakthrough in 2022 with CBD, which really takes the edge off my depression and anxiety. I take 30mg every 8 hours so it is always active, and it is consistently helpful. It has even taken the place of Klonopin, which I had previously been taking around once per week just so I could have some time off where I wasn't suffering as much. After discovering CBD, I wasn't even interested in benzos anymore, except maybe for very specific high-leverage situations (the way I think they should be used). After four months of this improved state, I realized it still wasn't enough, I wasn't able to work or thrive, and I decided to give antidepressants another shot. I had tried them over 10 years prior without success, but I knew there were lots of other drugs out there. I had only ever tried SSRIs, plus an add-on antipsychotic (Abilify). To my disappointment, I was once again prescribed an SSRI, this time a conservative dose of 10mg fluoxetine to get started. Within 30 minutes of taking the first capsule, I remembered why I stopped taking antidepressants in the first place. It wasn't terrible, but it just didn't feel right. Interesting considering the conventional wisdom that it should take weeks to feel anything at all. I continued to play along, already committed to the painful trial-and-error process of psychiatry, and by the fifth dose I tapped out. I was overwhelmed with panic and wanted to kill myself. I called the psychiatrist, and they prescribed an alternative, the SNRI venlaxafine (37.5mg starter dose). Finally, a new class of drugs. Only this one was even worse. It felt like it was burning a hole in my brain, and I stopped after 2 doses. I called the psychiatrist to explain what happened, and they reached deep into the psychiatry playbook and, you guessed it, offered to prescribe something else. I was too exhausted and scared to try a new drug immediately, so my plan was to wait until the next scheduled appointment in a few weeks and then reassess. For the next couple weeks, I felt mostly better. Then at the 17 day mark after my last fluoxetine dose, a bomb went off. I woke up with my head spinning from dizziness, unable to walk without holding on to something. This steadily improved over the next week, and I thought I was alright. Then another week later, the real party began. My mood sank to new lows. I lost the capability to feel anything positive. I was so stressed and irritable that I had to warn people about talking to me. It felt like a chemical lobotomy. Then I started having cognitive issues, forgetting things and losing the ability to solve basic problems. I went through a checklist of withdrawal symptoms and there were too many matches to list. I didn't think withdrawal would be possible after only a few doses, but the timeline and symptoms match. My hypothesis is that with fluoxetine's long half-life, it must have been in my system long enough to create a dependence. Although I had an initial adverse reaction, it didn't seem to match the symptoms of serotonin syndrome. Maybe someone will have some insight on that though. Whatever the case, it was a couple months of torture during the acute phase. I was not anywhere close to functional most of the time, but "luckily" I did not have many obligations due to my failure to ever get life going in the first place. Things then settled down into the more manageable post-acute phase, and I have a nice breakthrough every now and then which reminds me what it was like to have a more functional brain. It's still been a long and difficult grind, though. During this time, I reverted back to my once-weekly usage of Klonopin to get a break from the symptoms. Then earlier this year I had another breakthrough that allowed me to stop taking that again. I have also experimented with microdosing psilocybin periodically throughout the post-acute phase, which I have concluded is a mistake. I have had good experiences with it during the active effect, but it becomes so exhausting, and then I crash and burn for the next few weeks. Clearly my brain is very sensitive to drugs, especially serotonergics, and I just need to give it a chance to heal. I've recently had a resurgence in symptoms (dizziness, fatigue, emotional blunting, stress) which may have been regularly scheduled, or perhaps triggered by a last-ditch effort at microdosing. It's been taxing, but still nowhere near as bad as it used to be. A clear benchmark for me is whether I have any desire to take benzos again, which I still don't. I am now 14 months into this pharmaceutical disaster, and it is hard to say exactly what % I am recovered, since the symptoms and severity are always changing. It is clear that the baseline is trending upwards, though. I just hope that eventually I can feel completely back to normal again without any trace of this nonsense. I am committed to a holistic approach to healing: nutrition, fitness, rest, and avoiding stress. I continue to take CBD, which has been my best lifeline ever since I started with it. I already know that life is not for me, but I can at least reduce my suffering while I am still here. From a psychotropic recovery perspective, this story could be viewed as at least a partial success, with some progress left to be made. Thank you to anyone who read this. It does feel better to document it, and it's maybe one minuscule step towards awareness and accountability.
  19. Hi! I just started to taper and I am in my second week of reducing from 20mg escitalopram. I already cut off 10%. What I find confusing: 1. Does it matter if I just take on ONE randomly chosen day 10% less (which I did already) or do I have to distribute the 10% cut throughout the 2 weeks? I can't see how the latter would be possible, given the infinitesimal amount that needs to be reduced this way, but I thought I will ask anyway :)> 2. Whilst I am aware of the huge variability in individual histories, I wonder if anyone here has been experiencing gradual tapering (as advised per medication here) and had withdrawal effects that were bearable and short-lived? In other words, if one does it right, generally speaking, and assuming that one is only on one antidepressant and all other variables are more or less constant, does it help avoid the worse of withdrawal effects? This is something that I am confused about. It is important for me, if any data, anecdotal or scientific exists in regard to this matter. Where can I look for this kind of information? Many thanks.
  20. I got on Fluoxetine after 2 years of aggressive anxiety and deep depression. I was prescribed 10 mg and then 20mg and eventually to 30 mg at one point. I didn't know better at the time but I was constantly fatigues I had slight depression and not much anxiety after the 2 years but I had no energy and headaches. When I started the Fluoxetine it gave me the energy I was craving. I was sleeping 8 + hours prior to the fluoxetine, eating healthy and very often and then napping before soccer practice (I played college soccer) just to try and have enough energy to go 75% at practice. When I got on the fluoxetine I didn't have to sleep as much, and I had energy! It was awesome. I didn't really look into side effects or other options at the time because I just wanted to have the energy to play soccer. It relieved headaches and removed my fatigue. It felt like the vitamin my body was craving but I couldn't ever get it satisfied with the healthy eating and sleep. I had spouts of extreme anxiety flare ups whenever I would try and get into a relationship. So during my 4 years at the university I tried one relationship for a year and it was extremely difficult causing out of body experiences, anxiety, and overall felt like my nervous system was dying. I continued on the fluoxetine at the time but it didn't solve for the OCD / Anxiety I was experiencing and I didn't have the skills to know how to lean into it and start trying to think about things differently and change my brain and nervous system. I finished my soccer career and moved from a very warm environment to a part of the state that has very cold winters and hot summers. The winter brought on all sorts of depression and hopelessness. I was working at a Bank at the time. I pushed through that winter and started working on trying to change the way I was thinking and the beliefs I was holding. I felt that I had made very good progress and decided to start tapering my fluoxetine. I dropped to 10mg for a few weeks and then I just stopped taking it all together. I started to experience sever brain zaps. I re instated at 10mg every other day for a month or so. I then stopped and the brain zaps were gone! I thought I was home free! But I was not, 4 months later I started having the headaches I was having before I started taking the fluoxetine. They were so severe and would come on so strong around 1 or 2 pm in the afternoon. I started experiencing brain zaps again as well. Then one night Tinnitus hit me like a sledge hammer. My ears started ringing so loud. And on occasion they would hurt. I couldn't sleep, the ringing had gotten so loud. I went to every doctor I could see. I saw my general doctor and she said to try sertraline. I got on 25 mg of it for a few weeks. I had all kinds of symptoms trying to get on it. I was fatigued, felt like I had the flu, achy, headaches, etc. It wasn't solving the current headaches, fatigue, and tinnitus. We then switched me to Fluoxetine 10mg it was just giving me different kinds of headaches along with the ones I was having. When I got on Fluoxetine the first time I did not experience any side effects at all. I had CT scans done to see if I had tumors. Nothing. No doctor could explain what was going on with me. I had enflamed sinuses so they gave me some steroids to help with the inflammation which helped a little bit. I eventually tried just doing 5mg a day but that was still an issue. So went back down to zero. I have been struggling with headaches for over 12 months and tinnitus for over 8 months now. My vision has gotten blurry and I have tried to get glasses to see if that was causing some of the headaches. It has been a living hell. I found this website and some success stories. Trying to figure out what to do and how to move forward. Wondering if I should try and get back on 5mg of fluoxetine a day and see if that will clear the headaches without the reinstating headaches and then taper from there? Would love to hear any and all experiences that could help. Thanks.
  21. hi My name is Karen, I’m 46 and been on and off Zoloft since age 16. i was off once in my 20s and 30s for about 6-7 years and that was a hard and horrible time. Then I went back on about twelve years ago and have been on them ever since. I did lots of work cutting out alcohol and smoking plus now I’m non dairy, non gluten, low grain, high protein (as much as possible) with a ton of supplements for a mast cell disorder and osteoporosis. Fourth months ago I started tapering very slowly from 200 mg and just this past month I started having nightmares, high REM asleep, sleeping 10-12 hrs on weekends, horrible PMS, nearly got fired because of my crazy impulsive antagonistic behaviour and am driving my best friend insane…she hasn’t ever had mental health issues like this so she cannot relate very well even though she is generally sympathetic… today I went back up to my full dose. I got scared because I have been feeling suicidal and so “off” that I was feeling that I wanted to die. I was not going to act on it, I was just having ideation. But…I finally realised my tapering is not working. I HATE depression, well, for obvious reasons. I can stand physical pain much better than the pointlessness, worthlessness, anger, and despair that gets on me when I spiral down. in that four months, I only tapered down to 165 mg so I think it was slow enough… what did I do wrong… im so tired.
  22. Hi, you can call me AprilShowers. I was put on Venlafaxine (Effexor) in the millenium due to a period of depression. Was on it two years and tapered off with no problem and gradually depression got managable and life went on. Then my mother died of cancer and my depression came back more suicidal and severe. I tried citalopram with horrible side effects and continuous suicidal feelings before being changed to venlafaxine which had worked for me before. And it worked again, more or less. I got stabilised and although it took a long time the suicidal thoughts receded and I just had bad depression. Last year after five years on venlafaxine I was having bad heart palpitations and my psychiatrist thought it might be beneficial to change medications as I thought it might be being caused by being on an SNRI. I switched to mirtazapine which I was on a couple of weeks and felt good at first before it made me very suicidal. Panicing and needing to not feel that way anymore I stopped taking it cold turkey. After I began to have withdrawal issues I tried to get onto prozac (fluoxetine) in the hope that it would help, it didn't, it exacerbated the symptoms. I was in full withdrawal syndrome, massive dumps of cortisol turned my body to acid, I was urinating blood, I couldn't eat or sleep and the shakes were exhausting. It was completely debilitating and I did little but lay on the sofa for five months trying to distract myself with TV shows. Life got a little better in increments and with the help of this site which I read without joining I was able to understand what was happening to me and try to support my body. I thought maybe I'd been lucky to have gotten through this and was hoping to build my life back to some semblance of normal. I managed to get back to the point I'd been on while I was on the antidepressants. Still depressed, still not coping well with life but able to function a bit. I had hoped to build on that. A couple of weeks ago I started getting mad anxiety, possibly triggered by the shock of the news of terrorist attacks in Paris although I guess if I'm honest I was feeling a bit overwhelmed before that. Whatever happened, I was having a hard time and took a couple of small doses of lorazepam two nights running to get some sleep and mellow the panicy feelings. Of course they got worse after that and now I have the full cortisol dumping into my system again and I'm back on the sofa wishing for a different life and a better body. I've been in touch with my care co-ordinator who isn't seeing me until next week and she says that without me being willing to take medication there's not much she can do. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow to try to rule out any underlying medical reasons (I had an infection before all this happened and have recently become diabetic, have PCOS and have had previous anemias, heart palpitations and thyroid blips) but I'm not holding out much hope and unsure how to try an explain to the doc what is happening with cortisol dumping into my body. I know all they can offer for the symptoms is lorazepam or similar drugs and I think that would just make my problem worse. The early morning shuddering and feeling of waking in abject terror is the pits, the shudders are exhausting, like parkinsons and then taper off during the day but still with a low level of tremor and feeling of panic. I've got no saliva, I go hot and cold, my stomach is acid, I'm wetting myself with the level of fear hormones in my system and am having to wear pads and I'm constantly going to the bathroom, I'm not doing very well at all. The fact that this is happening for the second time is extremely disappointing, I've had thoughts of not wanting to live like this. I feel very alone, I live alone and I'm scared of losing all I've gained. I'm here to find hope. I need to give this awful life I'm forced into some value and give myself some value. After five years living on benefits, trying to overcome depression and not really coping with life I feel like I have nowhere to turn but here to find people who believe and understand what I'm going through. I am desperate to believe this is just a blip and won't last as long as before but it's been getting worse every day like the reverse of when it happened the first time when it was very bad and I gradually felt relief. I'm finding it hard to trust I will recover. I have nothing to do but hope I can again. Supplements I take omega 3 in a high dose which has helped me manage my depression. vitamin C magnesium with calcium. Occasional other supplements. Am thinking of just stopping all but the omega 3.
  23. Firstly hi, i wish someone can guide me, may 2021 i started on paxil 10 mg then 20 mg to the end of mars then i switched to zolof 50 mg then 25 mg but it gave me insomnia and lost my appetite so i switched to lexapro 5mg after 7 weeks on zoloft.. Lexapro always made me lose my appetite so i just stopped then i got into withdrawal so i used prozac to get rid of them after one week like this : one week 5 mg prozac One week 2.5 mg One week 1.25 It got rid off dizziness and zaps but nauaea it still there after i finished prozac ( when i was on it i didnt have much appetite too ) Its 10 days ago So what should i do now plz help me Tough it out ? For how long ? Or reinstate lex 2.5 mg but it will make me lose my appetite anyways Can i taper if i wasnt stable on it and still give me side effects ? Plz help and opinions and thanks..
  24. Hi! I've been taking 40mg of fluoxetine daily for 8 years but stopped on July 30th 2023. I didn't know about tapering until last week so have just stopped completely. Which has been pretty rough. I'm experiencing severe mood swings, brain fog, forgetfulness, terrible brain zaps, up and downs of anxiety and depression. Although I'm pretty sure it's not my depression returning as its very erratic. Also feeling bursts of anger and tearfulness. Digestive issues including constipation, diarrhoea and nausea. Also very low to no libido and sexual dysfunction. The low level sexual dysfunction was one of my reasons for stopping the medication but it seems to be worse now. I have started hrt in November 2022, for perimenopause. This helped with most of the unpleasant symptoms I was experiencing, including depression and anxiety. I always suspected I was misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety when I in fact was perimenopausal, so when the hrt got rid of my anxiety and depression I thought it was a good time to test the theory and stop taking my antidepressants.
  25. Hello everyone. I am suffering from lingering side effects and withdrawal symptoms post-cold turkey (end-July 2022). I was on 1 week of Zactin/Fluoxetine + Mirtazapine (April 2022), followed by approximately 3 months of Pristiq/Desvenlafaxine + Mirtazapine (April 2022 to July 2022). The side effects were so bad that I felt like I had an adverse reaction. I was told by everyone (from family to medical professionals) to tolerate the side effects because the benefits outweighed the costs. Many of the side effects became withdrawal symptoms post-cold turkey, see below. Post-cold turkey, initial withdrawal symptoms included: (1) Insomnia. (2) Teeth sensitivity and pain + dry mouth + gum recession. This was the very first side effect while I was on the drugs. (3) An agitating sensation that there is "something" in the upper body (neck, throat, chest) that I can only describe as a combination of "palpitations + heat + pain + tightness/stiffness". This was one of the side effects when I was on the drugs and it made me really miserable. (4) Electric zaps (brain, back, legs). (5) Loss of appetite (food and drink). (6) Desensitization to caffeine and alcohol. I stopped getting any benefit from coffee, which in the past kept me going throughout the day and did not cause sleep issues. Alcohol used to make me sleepy, but it does not have the same effect anymore. (7) Bloating and diarrhea-like bowel movements. (8) Nausea. (9) Incontinence: Calls of nature have become more "sudden" than I was used to. When I get the "urge to go", I cannot hold it in for as long as I was able previously. (10) Sexual dysfunction: Loss of libido and inability to feel orgasms. Low testosterone levels detected during blood test. (11) Increased eye pressure. (12) Hives (upper body). (13) Increased sweating. At the time of writing (5 April 2023), some symptoms have changed and some have remained the same: (1) Sleep has improved slightly, but I still wake up several times during the night. I have just started taking melatonin (after reading about it on this website). (2) Gums have stopped receding, but teeth are still more sensitive than normal. (3) The sensations are less intense on average than previously, but they can become more intense during certain times of the day, which still makes me miserable. (4) This symptom seems to have disappeared. (5) A very small return of appetite, but still nowhere close to my previous levels of appetite. I have also gained approximately 13-15kg from 70-72kg to about 85kg, which I attribute to a lower metabolic rate, but I can't be certain. (6) The same. I still don't have the same response to coffee and alcohol, compared to what I had previously. (7) Bowel movements have subsided to soft/watery after consulting a gastroenterologist and taking some medication, but I still feel bloated. (8) This symptom seems to have disappeared. (9) The same. (10) The same. Sexual dysfunction remains. I have taken a testosterone injection after consulting a urologist. (11) The same. (12) The same. (13) The same. After about 9 months post-cold turkey (July 2022 to April 2023 at the time of writing), my symptoms appear to have eased slightly and gradually, but I still find them debilitating enough that I struggle to focus and generally feel a sense of malaise/discomfort. In January 2023, I felt desperate because my withdrawal symptoms had not improved substantially after 6 months. I saw 3 different psychiatrists during January 2023 to March 2023, all of whom have said that my symptoms are not drug withdrawal symptoms, instead they indicate that I am still depressed. The insisted that the drugs I was taking are no longer in my system and therefore, their side effects should have disappeared. The first psychiatrist suggested I go back on Mirtazapine, the second one prescribed a combination of Xanax + Lexapro + Stilnox, and the third one prescribed Valdoxan. I've only learnt about the concept of reinstatement through this website, but I understand it's way too late for that. In any case, I am not sure if I would be keen to take the same drugs again, for fear of repeating the same side effects and triggering another adverse reaction. I would really like to heal the natural way because I have had a very bad experience with taking psychiatric drugs. However, sometimes I wonder when and if I will fully recover at this rate, I get the urge to bite the bullet and try whatever drug the psychiatrist prescribes. As you can see, I am still very conflicted on how to proceed. I'm very thankful to have found this website because I really don't really know who to turn to anymore. Any advice on my situation would be deeply appreciated.
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