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Basically, I've been on antidepressants since 2017. Lexapro from 2017-2019 (7.5mg) no antidepressants for most of 2019-March 2020. Then a very low dose of Lexapro (2.5-3mg liquid) until July 2023. I felt so amazing on this low dose of Lexapro! My life changed 100% for the better. I was living the exact life I wanted to live. I was working out so hard, my co-workers said I looked like a bodybuilder, I had a job in a difficult field, and best of all no side effects! I was even starting to enter the dating world! Something that I had never done before. The greatest 3.5 years of my life. No drugs (besides Lex), no alcohol, My family thought this Lexapro was like a secret formula! I had an extreme interest in bodybuilding and my whole life revolved around in. I went into an extreme depressive episode (I will talk about it later) when I increased my lexapro to 7.5mg, and only had a 1 month relief from it when I went back to 3mg. It's like all of a sudden now, I don't have any interest in working out let alone bodybuilding. Then in July 2023, I decided to up the dose. I was struggling with insomnia and some increased anxiety. Increased from 3 mg to 4mg. No big deal didn’t really help my anxiety, but I’m still happy and have no side effects. No depression just yet. September 2023 hits and hallucinations are starting to happen. Man, my anxiety is starting to get bad! Talk to my doctor, it’s only natural I up it to 5mg. It’s a pretty standard dose, and I bet my brain will stabilize on that! No depression just yet. In October 2023, I went to my doctor again, and he recommended an increase to 7.5. Hey, not a big increase, but I’ll give it some time. Nope, dumbass me is having a panic attack for literally 3 weeks straight. What then ensues is a Truman Show like 60 days of torture. The worst days of my life. Oh, the life I used to live. I was on 7.5 for a month. I got every side effect in the book. Nausea, vomiting, increased anxiety, SEVERE INSOMNIA (never had sleeping problems, I slept 8-10 hours a night before. Now I’m lucky for 4-5, some nights I even stay up all night). The only thing I didn’t get was the sexual side effects. Not to mention a SEVERE DEPRESSION. Severe anhedonia and apathy which is something I've never had before. Then I went down my Lexapro back to 5mg, as my doctor ordered. Some side effects lessen but no relief. I then go down to 3mg, and life is actually back to normal for a month! I'm so thankful! Some anxiety, but at this point I will live with it. The anhedonia, apathy, and no motivation is gone! Then I struggled with depression again. I have a bad depressive episode and, I see a new psychiatrist and he recommends Pristiq for MDD. I was on 25mg for a month, no relief. I was on 50mg for a month with no relief. My mind and body do not want to do anything ever. Everything seems extremely boring. Nothing gives me any pleasure anymore. I'm so done. I still have kept my normal work and workout schedule, I'm just so mentally fatigued and done. I'm tired of not wanting to ever do anything all day. I have so much apathy, fatigue, and no motivation. I just want to go off of all antidepressants now. I was thinking 25mg for a month, 12.5mg (compound) for a month, and then going off since I wasn't on Pristiq for that long. The weirdest thing has been, I've still been working out on Pristiq, and if anything I've been stronger on most lifts, and I've lost almost all of my muscle. I haven't even lost any weight!

I'll keep this post simple because I don't care to complain so much. For reference I'm 31 and male. I had a bad reaction to 5mg of escitalopram (prescribed for anxiety and mild depression) on February 22nd that left my head burning for hours. Earlier the same day I also took Lion's Mane (which I didn't realize at the time has MAOI properties, there's barely any research you can find about this through Google). I'm pretty sure it was a case of serotonin syndrome. I felt spaced out and overly jumpy/reactive and the doctors at the hospital didn't really seem too concerned about my condition because I was otherwise still conscious and that was good enough for them I guess. They're not very competent when it comes to identifying SS. I had also noticed immediate side effects (genital numbness) while I was using the washroom which left me very concerned. 8 hours of my time was wasted with basic testing and a chest x-ray and they sent me home with a blistering headache like it was nothing. My brain was basically fried and I could barely string words together. I've been eating completely healthy since the incident (lots of fish and meat) and stopped drinking caffeinated tea/coffee. I also take certain supplements here and there (Maca, Citrulline, Vitamin C/D, Magnesium Threonate/Glycinate/Taurate). The persistent symptoms I have are anhedonia, DP/DR, heightened senses, anxiety, vivid dreams (that are seemingly mocking me), and sexual dysfunction (ED, PE, etc). The timeline so far is very odd because a lot of the really bad stuff didn't hit me until a month afterwards. First week: Initial withdrawal. Numbness, GI issues (subsided), feelings of hopelessness/doom, and suicidal thoughts. I had to sleep in my mother's room one night to prevent myself going mad. 1-2 weeks: Still numb. Genitals extremely sore and I had a lot of trouble urinating (bladder control). 2-3 weeks: Constant mild head zaps/pressures/aches, otherwise no changes. 4 weeks: Genital soreness/numbness mostly gone, but things still dysfunctional. Woke up with full-blown DP/DR exactly on day 29. Intense headaches, tons of anxiety, muscle twitching. 5 weeks: Same as week before, though less pronounced. 6 weeks: Volatile mood shifts, crying, poor blood flow all over, constant muscle aches/weakness, still some twitching, dry mouth, inconsistent thirst signals, less/no hunger signals. I'm now just over 6 weeks (46 days) and I'm feeling very discouraged. My libido is still nonexistent, my brain is a mess (I can't enjoy my primary hobby anymore: software development), I'm struggling to find any meaning to life, and I have nobody to talk to that actually understands what I'm going through (I was okay with being a loner before all this, but now it's somewhat upsetting). My sister was the one who encouraged me to try this SSRI (she's also on it) and I haven't really felt like talking to her since a month ago due to what happened. My mother and my cat are currently the only support I have so far, aside from one random guy on Reddit (the PSSD sub is generally too depressing to read and every other is full of pharma shills). I'd be grateful if anyone can help me make sense of my situation. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't completely lost my s*** yet.

Hi all. I have been on 20mg of Lexapro since 2021 for extreme physical anxiety symptoms. I could not sleep. The Lexapro helped me significantly and I experienced no effects except when upping my dose. However, everything changed March 2024. I have been suffering stomach bloating and other related issues since the falls, so I decided to try a probiotic. After a few days, the probiotic seemed to be helping, but then I suddenly had an adverse reaction to Lexapro and am unsure if it is related or not. Because of this I got worried and only began taking 15mg for the next two weeks but experienced the same symptoms: increased heart rate, headache, nausea, muscle spasms, leg twitching, emotional bluntness, inability to be sexually aroused, chills, etc. My doctor wanted me to cross-taper to Zoloft, starting at 25mg while dropping down to 10mg on the Lexapro. I took them together for two nights in a row and had horrible symptoms, like those listed above but my hands and legs were shaking badly and my teeth were chattering. This obviously concerned me so I stopped taking the Zoloft completely and was only on 10mg of Lexapro for a few days until one day I felt horribly numb, like I got crippling depression overnight. I felt so unhappy and suicidal, I decided to try the Zoloft again to stabilize me. So, for three days I took 25mg of Zoloft in the morning and 10mg of Lexapro at night. My symptoms were not as bad as they were when I took them together, but I still suffered reactions to both of them. Last night, I took 25mg of hydroxyzine which I have been taking for the last week to help me sleep due to insomnia and anxiety surrounding my symptoms. I had the same reaction as I usually do when I take Zoloft or Lexapro, and I read that hydroxyzine can influence serotonin, so this concerned me. Because I had a reaction from the hydroxyzine, I wanted to be cautious and skip my dose of Lexapro for risk of further toxicity. Today, I feel horrible. I am super nauseous, have had some chills, and have a very intense headache like pressure in my face. I am lost.. Should I reinstate the Lexapro at the lowest tolerable dose for me and try to stabilize from there? I don't know what to do anymore, if I am suffering from adverse reactions plus withdrawal. I am so scared of beginning this journey because it seems like it will be a long road of unknowns and suffering.

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

I've been doing all of my research on here, reading as many stories as I can and gather information before embarking on my taper. So I thought it might be time to actually join in. I started on Lexapro in November last year, very reluctantly. I was have a lot of muscle tension that would at times make me anxious because i could get no relief from it. I've had GAD for years, but through years of psychologists I'd learnt a lot of coping mechanisms that have kept me well (enough). 20 years ago I was on Lexapro at the beginning of my GAD diagnosis and for depression. It helped me back then, but have never needed/wanted any meds since. When I started this time I started on 5mg (with the instruction to keep to that for 2 weeks then move to 10mg). I had a rough start with a huge amount of anxiety, dizziness, fatigue, terrible sleep and brain fog. I even had one horrible day that I had to get on a plane for work and got hot burning skin, got even dizzier, and fainted. In the middle seat between two strangers! Awful. The next day I tried the 10mg, thinking it might help. It didn't... surprise surprise! Panic attack, DR, burning feeling on skin, the worst day. I went back to 5mg the next day, and back to 'normal'. I've never been able to shake the bad sleep (I can fall asleep, but wake up a few times and then really early), or the brain fog. I kept on because I was told that I need to give it a couple of weeks for full effect. Then it was six weeks for full effect. I knew by then it wasn't right for me, I didn't want to be on it, and I had zero intention of increasing it. Came here, researched, learned how to make my own liquid from my 10mg tablets and picked a date. The first (and only) drop was 10% on 24 Feb this year - down to 4.5mg. I've got some odd feelings that I don't know if they are WD or the medication itself. They don't seem to follow the same kind of windows/waves patterns I've seen others mention. Mine are very 'routine' which is what I feel is odd. I start out the day fine, even do Pilates in the morning. Take my lexapro at 9.30am and by 10.30 or 11am the heavy brain fog/confusion/unable to keep a train of thought starts. Then by 1.30 the dizziness kicks in along with chills/goosebumps. The dizziness starts to lift around 6pm, but the goosebumps are pretty much non-stop until about 9pm. This pattern has been happening every day for the last two and bit weeks. The middles of everyday are almost a write-off. It's really hard to work and try to be me. I've had one day where it didn't happen, but I didn't change anything on that day. I wish I did, so I could have a reason why. I quite like a routine, so pretty good at sticking to it! Does this seem 'normal' for a 10% reduction? Should I have some of this stopping soon? I was planning to hopefully reduce again after four weeks, but I don't know if this medication is causing me more grief or if I should simply be more patient and tolerate this longer. I'd love any feedback or advice on my odd pattern of daily symptoms if anyone has made it through my super long intro (sorry about that).

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hi, all. I’m new here and thought I would do an introduction. Im a 42f mom of 3. I’m fortunate to have found this forum thanks to the Lexapro support group on FB and mentions in subreddits before I started my taper. in December of 2023 I was going through a time of heightened stress and anxiety that sent me into panic attacks, agoraphobia, and extreme anxiety and depression. I’ve always had moderate anxiety but this was on another level. I went to my primary doctor out of desperation and she immediately suggested Lexapro, and she stressed that it has hardly any side effects, easy to come off of etc. I wish I had educated myself better but I was desperate at the time. I went on 5mg. It maybe helped slightly, but not much. In January she upped my dose to 10mg. I was still having extreme anxiety and panic frequently, but things were slightly better maybe. I started researching more and decided I don’t want to be on these meds anymore. I have been on it for a total of 11 weeks, 6 weeks on 10mg. I want to start tapering slowly asap but I am nervous. I still don’t feel like I’m stable, I still have heightened anxiety although not as bad as the beginning. I am absolutely EXHAUSTED, to the point where i can barely function. I don’t know if these meds even “work” for me and if I’ll ever stabilize on them enough to start my taper. I was planning on maybe waiting until I’ve been on 10mg for 8-12 weeks to see if I’m more stable at that point. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I am also in therapy, take supplements (fish oil, vitamin d, b12, multivitamin, l theanine, and magnesium), I exercise daily, eat healthy, no caffeine, meditation daily, and go to acupuncture monthly. Happy to have found this site, it’s an amazing resource.

Hi friends... When SSRI's came into my life, they saved me. Through most of my life (teens and twenties) I had successfully lived with my mental health struggles using tools such as exercise, time outdoors, and an ever changing and stimulating lifestyle as one has during this time of their life. When I moved in my early 30s, completely upending my life as I had never lived anywhere else, I was no longer able to deal with the depths my depression took me to. After failing to find relief from Wellbutrin, I reluctantly decided to try Lexapro. It truly saved me when I was at my lowest point until then. I knew about some of the side effects, weight gain, lower libido, which is why I hesitated. But, as I was no longer functioning, something needed to change. And, it did. What I did not know, was how horrific it was going to be to try to get back off of this drug. I understand myself better now, and I've created an environment in my life that should help me to thrive. But then there is this drug. It is like a veil. More subtle than the depression was, but still something that keeps me from living fully. It keeps me from feeling fully. In 2019, I was ready to come off of the drug. With a new psychiatrist (not the one who initially prescribed SSRI to me), I expressed that I was ready to come off of Lexapro. She told me to cut the dose in half for a few weeks, then in half again, then for a few more weeks, then I would be off the medication. After 5 days at half dose, I was having flu-like symptoms, crying whenever I moved more intensely than a walk, not sleeping....it was too much. I told my doctor and she said to go back to the full dose and we could try again slower at a later time. Then, she retired, and I moved to help my Mom go through cancer treatment. Not a good time to remove your antidepressant. In April 2023, my Mom went into remission, I had the best job, I lived in a place that was good for my soul, and I had so much support around me that I was ready to try again. I did not have a new doctor by now to support me, but I had learned the first time that I needed to slow the tapering process down. I thought I could do it. I reduced my dose by only 25% for 2 weeks, then again to half dose for 1 day. After not sleeping for 4 consecutive nights in a row in addition to the previous WD symptoms I had the first time, I went back to full dose. I was angry and sad. I felt like I had no control and my inability to come off the drug made me want to come off it even more. Why don't doctors tell you about this before they put you on it???? Yes, I've gained weight, my sex life has suffered, but not being able to stop taking this little pill is appalling. I didn't sign up to be dependent on a life-numbing drug for my entire lifetime!@@ My Mom did pass away this last year. The last thing I've needed since April is to take away this crutch when my heart has been more broken than it ever has before. But I am healing, and I think part of that healing process is to take back full ownership and control over my mind and body by getting off Lexapro. I have a two new doctors who are going to support me through this, and I have this site!!! I am so incredibly thankful for the resources and stories about people's journeys going through the same process I will. Thank you all SO MUCH for this site. My new doctors have prescribed me some additional psychoactive drugs to support this process: Lamotrigine and Bupropion. I am taking these to help alleviate WD symptoms from tapering off Lexapro, but I am very anxious about becoming dependent on these as well. My goal is to come off all psychoactive drugs to see where I am in navigating my mental health without chemical support. We will see...

Hey everyone! I just recently found this site and I think I'm starting to finally have some answers. I was on antidepressants for about 10 years and then went cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant last year February 2023. I was fine for a while when I was pregnant, but then one day I started having major panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. I thought at first it was due to the pregnancy and the hormones and added stress so I just wrote it off as so. I was also having trouble sleeping with sensitivity to light and sound and waking up every couple of hours or so, which I also attributed to the pregnancy. I had my baby in November 2023 and have had worsening symptoms. Of course, anxiety and depression can come postpartum and so I attributed all of my issues to this and just to the general stress of having the baby and being new at parenting. But now, it is starting to feel like there is something more than just postpartum depression and anxiety. I have been having severe panic attacks and have trouble dealing with my emotions. When I get overwhelmed, my mind just shuts down and doesn't know how to comprehend thoughts or emotions. Could this be linked to a long-term withdrawal from my antidepressants? And if so, is there anything I can do?

I have been on 20 mg of Lexapro for about 20 years for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have had breakthrough anxiety several times during the period and recently it seems to have quit working. My doctor did a genetic test which showed that I was not a good match for Lexapro do to being an ultra rapid metabolizer of the drug. Two weeks ago he did a direct switch from the 20 mg of Lexapro to 40 mg of Prozac. Since the switch I have been getting progressively worst having extreme anxiety, feeling sick, and having trouble with concentration. Really unsure of what to do as the symptoms are pretty severe. Any suggestions on what to do to help with the symptoms, should I reinstate the Lexapro or continue going forward with Prozac. Thanks in advance

Hi everyone, I'm Stanislav, 24 years old and I've been suffering from constant depersonalization/derealization for almost 7 years, triggered by a weed induced panic attack. My symptoms include feeling unreal, confused in the world, racing thoughts, excessive symptom monitoring, memories don't seem like my own, loss of sense of self, apathy, anhedonia, lights are bright and "tunnel vision" (a kind of visual processing problem where I don't seem to percieve all of my FOV at once). Two years later I was curious about medication since my symptoms haven't improved despite cbt therapy and time passing. In January 2020, I went to a psychiatrist, briefly described my situation and he instantly prescribed me Lexapro 10mg, which was supposedly really safe and unproblematic. I started taking it and felt changes in the next months. I cared much less about the intrusive thoughts but also had more anhedonia, was even less prone to laughing, was always feeling a bit tired and it was more difficult to reach orgasm but for me that was fine, since I had issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway, shortly after I met my boyfriend (the light of my life) and I continued the use of Lexapro for 2 years. Often times only taking half a dose, in hindsight it was irresponsible to be doing this. My dpdr symptoms have not improved but they were easier to live with and ignore. I want to emphasize that I didn't have a close connection to my psychiatrist and basically only went there for a new receipt where he asked if everything was fine and I said yes. Having no idea that tapering after prolonged AD use is supposed to be really slow, even though 5mg is the minimal tablet dosage, I quit cold turkey in 2022 for a month from 5mg because it wasn't helping with dpdr, not thinking much of it. I began experiencing great anxiety and depression and wanted to try wellbutrin, which helped for some people. So I was on wellbutrin for 2 weeks and had to quit it because it made me extremely tired and not much else. I then restarted Lexapro 5mg and later went up to 10mg for another 1 1/2 years. It was similar to the first time I took it. Then in January 2023 I decided to get off the drug and really work on my anxiety to recover from dpdr, which had been ruining my inner life. (Outwardly I was doing fine, got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics, while being dissociated 24/7, working on my master's degree right now) Without talking to my psychiatrist, whom I didn't trust that much anyway and he was changing offices too, I quit Lexapro 5mg cold turkey about a year ago. I really did not think much of it. I was really convinced the drug was relatively harmless. Stupid of me, I now know better. My withdrawals started after a week and I suffer them until today, a year later. They're not as bad as some people here have them but they are still debilitating and include: Waking up with and suffering from strong anxiety and incessant racing thoughts and uncontrollable worries, depressed mood, heart beating fast, not being able to breathe in deeply, I also have anhedonia which I had before but now it's worse and I miss laughing. At first I was telling myself it was relapsing or that my dpdr was improving because I was feeling more anxiety, so my emotions were less dampened but just last week the realization hit me that I was not just suffering from dpdr but also from having been on Lexapro. At this point I wish I never took it. The last few days have been especially bad with me not being able to calm myself down and feeling like a hopeless case. The withdrawal symptoms have not improved at all yet. I've been going to the gym for 2 months and I will continue to do so. One thing that sometimes helps is a diaphragmatic breathing meditation, Doing this I can feel the anxiety subside sometimes. I am struggling at work and university but I hope that I will improve in the next year. Do you guys think there is hope for me? I know I ***** up but after a year, I don't want to start taking the drug again to taper it more slowly. I was thinking about doing rTMS for depression and anxiety and I am also in therapy for the last half year. Would appreciate any kind words and thoughts. Cheers

Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hi all, First off I am grateful for this forum, thank you for letting me join. My journey began with trying to address some confusing health issues that put an end to a career that I dearly loved. Anxiety and overwhelm with my situation took over and it was recommended by my therapist that I try an antidepressant. Since my father took escitalopram without issue (going on or off) I decided to try it. My mother and I are sensitive to medication and I was very, very resistant to going on an antidepressant. My GP prescribed 10 mg of escitalopram and hydroxzine for sleep. At this point I had been taking 50 mg of Trazodone for sleep. The first weekend of taking those meds changed everything. After the first dose I woke up dizzy and disoriented, nearly falling out of bed. The derealization and confusion from that was incredible. The panic and anxiety intense. After that weekend I stopped the hydroxyzine I asked to step down to 5 mg and did that for a month, eventually going to 7.5 because I was told that my body would adjust (under my doctors direction by alternate taking 5 and 10 mg every other to reach 7.5mg). By the fourth month at 10 mg I was having severe waves of body agitation followed by waves of peaceful calm, extreme eye strain, evening concussive headaches, sweating, fluctuating eye sight, trembling, contstipation, and derealization. The waves of body agitation were the worse but at least at that time I could lay down, ride it out and have moments of peaceful calm. I was told by my psychiatrist that most of my symptoms couldn’t be from the meds and had more with my aversion to taking it. After seeing several specialist and testing it was determined that I have acquired spontaneous nystagmus and an inner ear caused balance. Based off of my timeline of symptoms the balance issue thought to be most likely caused by long covid. At four months on escitalopram I tapered down over 2 weeks from 10 to 5 to 0 mg. Reviewing information on this site I realize now that may have been too fast. However, a lot of my symptoms did improve until I started vestibular therapy where they suggested that an ssri has sometimes been found to be beneficial. So, after 1 month of being off of escitalopram I started fluoxetine at 10 mg. Trembling started again with more headaches and brain fog. After two months of fluoxetine I’d had enough and was told that I could go off it cold turkey because it was “self tapering”. I have been off of fluoxetine for a month and was told that it would be out of my system at that point. Still I’m left with feet tingling, headaches and a constant feeling of derealization with brain fog, headaches, concentration issues and unsteadiness. Now true to form my physiatrist wants to try other things like Viibryd, Lamictal or Gabapentin. I can’t see getting hooked on benzo’s or going back on another psych med unless it’s going to be able to address my other issues. Of course nobody except my audiologist wants to go down the long covid route. Looking at past immediate AD reaction post it appears to me that I may in fact have had an adverse reaction to escitalopram and may have deregulated my nervous system further starting fluoxetine? Admittedly I am anxiety ridden over my situation regarding my nystagmus, inner ear balance (long Covid) issues but the brain fog derealization is the worst of it. I feel I may have made things worse by switching around with the meds, the way I took them and went off of them. I am being told that I wasn’t on the meds long enough or at a high enough dose to cause lingering withdrawal symptoms. I’m now basically bed ridden, unable to work or drive. I have looked through the supplements recommendations and started fish oil. I have taken vitamin C and D and a probiotic for ever. Thanks for being here and any insight that you can give me

Here is my story. As an adolescent and college student, I suffered from anxiety and in particular social anxiety. I finally sought psychiatric treatment in senior year of college (year 2014) as I also started getting major depressive symptoms and was prescribed Zoloft (at 100 mg for 7 years, then tapered to 50 mg for the remaining time I was on it; I did not take any breaks, was always on it during this time; mainly had some sexual side effects, a bit of emotional blunting, but overall really manageable from side effect standpoint, nothing major). It was highly effective at treating the physical feelings of anxiety and healed me mentally as well, slowly improving and lowering social anxiety and my depressive symptoms. In late July of 2023, while on 50mg I decided I was in a good place and found a few of the side effects annoying, and (unfortunately) self-tapered off the 50 mg (50 to 25 to 12.5 over around 6 weeks) by mid-September. As I tapered, I felt no increase in anxiety or depression (and had not been feeling these in a significant way for a long time – in fact I was the happiest I had probably ever been in my whole life, which is what prompted me to think I did not need the Zoloft any more), or any of the symptoms I took it for the in the first place, and experienced minimal ‘discontinuation’ symptoms as well. Then, about 6 weeks after stopping, in mid-November I had several things pop up at the time I did not recognize as relapse/discontinuation, but almost certainly were (GI distress, nausea, constipation) – these were separate ‘episodes’ that occurred, and there was spacing in between them. December 10 is when the true full relapse began: I woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy, with chills, got bad night sleep / struggled to get back to sleep, following night at girlfriend’s had panic attack come out of nowhere- chills, shivering, feeling anxious not self, thought I was going to die- walked around and talked it out, died down in 20-30min… but for rest of night felt uneasy, struggled to sleep / got a bad night sleep. Following day woke up feeling full anxiety in chest, shoulders (adrenaline type feeling) and had racing/worrying thoughts, told primary care provider they refilled Zoloft 25 mg. I took the Zoloft 25 mg had a strong reaction (this was ~2.5 months after my last dose of 12.5mg), both positive in sense it did calm me down but with strong side effects (tingling, no libido, strange sensations (I experienced lower libido, but nothing like the strange sensations when on it before)—like an electric shock in lower body mostly, i.e., what I now know to be the ‘kindling’ effect and you can’t argue against this because human beings can’t natural produce electric shock sensations internally even as a manifestation of anxiety), deterring me from wanting to take it again, still got pretty poor sleep that night but not horrible. Did not take Zoloft Wednesday because concerned about side effects, still felt anxious / off and got poor night’s sleep again. I met with primary care thursday, at doctor’s office Thursday had a panic attack that did die down, they referred me to psychiatrist. On Friday took 12.5 mg Zoloft since they said it wouldn’t make a difference either way at that dose and felt more relaxed but again had weird side effects. The next day I started to feel weird, and took 12.5mg to take the edge off (in retrospect, not how Zoloft to be used but I was in an irrational, anxious state), made me feel calmer but still got a bad sleep. Sunday morning felt very off, like panic building so took 25 mg Zoloft initially calmer but panic attack did not stop ended up going to ER, had elevated BP/HR otherwise fine, and gave me low dose of lorazepam, talked it out, calmed down. Also trazodone for sleep, ended up sleeping very well that night for whatever reason. The next day felt a bit weird but also a bit recovered, around noon felt growing depression feeling so took 25mg Zoloft, then that night really struggled to get sleep, next morning also feeling off, had panic attack, ended up calling 911 evaluated in ambulance, just elevated HR and BP, calmed down, flew home that day (took Zoloft 25mg at noon because could feel growing depression feeling again). Had another panic attack and went to the ER one more time (this was last day I took Zoloft 25mg). I then started on my newly found psychiatrist’s (yea… unfortunately did not have one for a while) plan of 0.5mg/night clonazepam and 150mg Wellbutrin (since starting the 0.5mg clonazepam, no true panic attacks have occurred), unfortunately even with taking the Wellbutrin in the morning, I got no sleep that night (got hypnic jerks that kept me awake), told me psychiatrist, he told me to stop and we’d re-evaluate in a few days. Then following two nights no sleep, the psychiatrist kind of gave up on me, so then took a few days to find a new provider. Who started me on 5mg Lexapro (and continue 0.5mg/night clonazepam) – the main side effects were getting no sleep (down from 5-6 hours previous two nights) both nights I tried it and constipation (but other than that nothing bad). I took a break for a day and re-tried in the morning, then was able to get some sleep. Over a 5-week period, I vamped up from 5 to 7.5 to 10mg/morning Lexapro, and tapered down to 0.25mg/night clonazepam (tapered down regardless of impact on sleep because I did not want to become dependent). Since starting the Lexapro, there has been continued improvement in daily functioning, reduction in anxiety (in particular better control over thoughts), mood (continues to improve actually – in many ways getting back to old self despite being sleep deprived); I continue to feel I am approaching ‘normal’ / being myself more. However, there is still something major that is very off: I do not feel exhaustion/tiredness (OR anywhere near as much like **** as I should after a poor night’s sleep, I am also strangely am able to focus better and in a better mood than I’d be under normal circumstances) during the day (or a very limited amount of it), and continue to get poor night’s sleeps (I have not taken a single nap or dosed off at all since December 10… I even took 5mg ambien in the middle of the day (long story) and that failed to make me fall asleep). It is often challenging for me to both fall asleep, and guaranteed I will wake up at least 1-2 times throughout the night (and sometimes during these instances I cannot get back to sleep), and I can never sleep in past 7am. The worst nights are usually 1.5-2.5 hours, the better ones are in the 4.5-6 hour range (I had a streak of 0 hour sleep for 3 nights in a row after going down from .5 to .25mg Klonopin too early, then went back to 0.5mg and made taper more gradual). I have had several nights of 7-8 hour sleeps, but with only a few exceptions these have always been after taking a sleeping drug (and always the 0.25mg Klonopin as well). During the nights, I will sometimes wake up with a faster heartrate, night sweats, urinate frequently, when trying to fall asleep I have experienced minor hypnic jerks (though a lot less bad than the ones after taking the Wellbutrin) – a lot of these have admittedly declined in frequency (and some I think have been in reaction to taking certain sleep meds the night prior, e.g., Mirtazapine), but nonetheless my average amount of sleep has not improved that much, still waking up often and not getting very many hours (interestingly I also pretty much always remember my dreams). For awareness, I have tried Ambien (just 5mg) which did not work at getting me to sleep (did make me extremely drowsy though.. also felt depressed/anxious like 5-6 hours of taking it), Trazodone (25-100mg, it was effective, but started realizing it might be causing tachycardia and made me act weird in the mornings so stopped taking it), Mirtazapine (~4mg, probably the best sleep I’ve had during the whole experience slightly over 8 hours only woke up once, obviously made me extremely drowsy, but the next morning was a zombie, then in the afternoon started experiencing hypersensitivity and getting jolts of anxiety in reaction to things like dogs barking while on a walk), Lunesta (1mg – was effective 6-7 hours helped with falling and staying asleep, but did some GI distress, and felt causing some sort of mini-withdrawal since on the Klonopin / not advisable to take z-drug with benzo), and Hydroxyzine (25-75mg – this has been effective, I think become a bit less effective over time but still helpful, some side effects getting better, notable so want to avoid taking every night); for supplements I take 2mg melatonin, 300mg magnesium, vitamin D3, I try going to bed at consistent time, go on daily 30+ minute walks, employ diaphragmatic breathing, though admittedly have more to learn on sleep hygiene. All of this said, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on the following (and I am going to an online forum because I have brought some of this up to supposedly highly qualified Ivy League-trained psychiatrists who won’t really know what to do). (1) Is there any possibility I did not give re-trying Zoloft a proper chance, and getting back on it at some TBD dosage is my only chance to get back to normal? When I took it initially it did feel weird, but all of the effects I’d be willing to put up with if I got back to feeling normally and being able to sleep properly again (even though as I took it later in the week I noticed most decline in intensity). Additionally I took it incorrectly, starting on a Tuesday at 25mg, then taking 12.5mg on Friday, then 12.5mg Saturday, then 25mg for just a few more days before stopping. You may think, why on earth would he get back on that he still had panic attacks on them (and yes, they were potentially worse because I took it, but I took it improperly, which likely completely threw off my brain). In comparison to Lexapro, when I first took it it did not interfere with sleep like Lexapro did (two nights in a row with no sleep, and still after 5 weeks on Lexapro I am getting poor sleep, though some components may be improving). It did have a calming effect, did have a somewhat numbing effect and made me feel better than I should have (given the overtiredness), but still that was early days and towards the end 4th day or so of using that became less the case. a. I read in some cases if you react strongly to the initial dosage that is “kindling” and does not mean the drug will not work, but just you are extra sensitive to it. My brain clearly grew dependent on Zoloft over the 9+ years I was on it and may need the drug to get back to normal. I had not taken it long enough the second time (only 4-5 days) to tell if it could properly reduce anxiety, rebalance my brain so I could sleep properly. When I was having the panic attacks while taking it, it had not been long enough to prevent them (would take weeks…), I was also not eating nearly enough (something I realized during my final ER visit when I horsed down a bunch of mediocre hospital food). b. If I were to switch I am pretty sure I’d need to cross taper with Lexapro, because going to 0 on an SSRI I don’t think would be good for me at this point, in particular combining the withdrawal with the sleep deprivation. It would probably be wise to start with a very low amount of Zoloft (like 1 mg?) to minimize any risk of Serotonin Syndrome. c. While I don’t think they take a nuanced approach, and lack a sophisticated enough understanding of SSRIs, have been advised against this by several doctors. (2) Does it make sense to stick with Lexapro, at least for several more weeks, potentially at a higher dose. I am not concerned about the constipation, but obviously if it makes sleep worse that’s a no go. I have noticed continued improvements shifts to normality while on it just not the desired improvement on sleep. In some ways I am happier on it than I was on Zoloft, but still not the sleep improvement—and sleep is huge foe me. If I were to increase the dose I would start going from 10mg to 12.5mg. My GI system seems to be improving (gets less irritated after meals, getting more of real appetite/feeling hunger) a. The recent psychiatrist I saw recommend I try increasing the dose of Lexapro and see how it goes over the next month. (3) Could it make sense to try an alternative SSRI, such as Prozac or Celexa? The key here would be getting brain back to a state where I could sleep. Or a different antidepressant class, but those are second line and known for even worse side effects. (4) Some may say the Klonopin, especially in the context of tapering, is hurting sleep (which it probably is but I doubt that severely given I have held at .25mg for 3 weeks), and right now I am still suffering from the bad sleep deprivation, have lost 15 pounds – suffering through potential benzo withdrawal might not be something I can handle now. I have no desire to ever take a dose higher than 0.25mg, and eventually 100% want off of it, preferably as soon as possible. (5) In terms of other treatment options for the insomnia, I have not yet tried Seroquel but have reservations given I already have not had the best experiences with Trazodone and Mirtazapine – if I were to try Seroquel maybe like ¼ or ½ the usual starting dose of 25mg… Would rather try one of the alternative treatments, CBD/cannabis if those really do sometimes work. a. I have heard CBT-I, ketamine infusions, psilocybin microdose, CBD, cannabis, maybe be helpful – would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of these or other treatments

zoloft 1974-1997. Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mg XL?. lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-2023. Went off lexapro with 1/4 tablet taper over one month. Then D/Ced vyvanse over 4 days. Rough 2.5 months; emotionally labile and feeling bad; hit the wall fatigue. Some improvement most weeks. Started to realize the siege was too painful to sit through. 10 weeks after D/C re-instated ¼ tab [1.25mg] lexapro. Return to OK, but major memory and learning deficits. My prescribing MD could only offer returning to 5mg lexapro and given the breadth of new symptoms, he named new diagnoses, foresaw additional new medication, also planned to refer me to local MDs doing Ketamine therapy. Only at this point did I start to educate myself and find out about anti-depressant withdrawal syndrome. From Inner Compass to an armlong list of scholarly articles. I for some reason I could not figure out how to get started on this site, and my initial posting of this history sat on the side. I stabilized, and though fragile, after about a month, began a successful slow taper 5% every two weeks. Felt better as time passed. Around 1.05mg, had two weeks of low-grade anxiety and then sudden full blown withdrawal symptoms recurred. Holiday stress and darkness? though light therapy did not help at all. Doing meditation, daily exercise without improvement. Using all psychic energy I could muster to get through the days. Increasing dose by 5% approx. every 3 days did not help. Tried using AM and then multiple daily doses to treat symptoms, given the pharmacology of lexapro. Up to 3+mg without reliable or full relief. Trial of 2.5mg was suggested; blew my head off, could not think, overstimulated, until about 2-3PM. Reached out everywhere online and local MD. A kind person on the Inner Compass site gave some support, and I landed on a dose of 2mg. where I have again stabilized. Multiple psychiatrists did not have knowledge, and one labelled my insistence on the withdrawal symptoms as psychotic. Still fragile and looking for a local guide in SF Bay Area going forward. Forcing myself to post since I cannot find a way to otherwise contact Altostrata directly. I am happy to share my experience going forward, but my priority at the moment is finding local in-person support for this withdrawal process. I am a woman in her mid-seventies. drug signature: zoloft 1974-1997 Wellbutrin 1997-2008 ?150mgXL? Lexapro 5mg 2008- 2023. Vyvanse 30mg qd 2008-June 2023. lexapro 1.25mg to 1.05mg using q 2 week 5% taper Aug-December 2023 lexapro 1.2mg-3.8mg [divided] Dec 2023-Jan 2024 Lexapro 2mg Jan 2024-

I started Escitalopram 5mg for around 2 weeks everything was fine, didn’t have any issues. I was bumped up to 10mg around the 2 week mark and a couple days later i had numbness and burning on my forearm so I decided to quit cold turkey. I was fine for over a month but then i started to see withdrawals. I have a loss of touch and i have full body numbness, especially and night if i stay still might entire body will tingle and be completely numb. It’s been around 3 months now since i took my last dose and im not sure what sure what if i should reinstate the drug or just see if it eventually goes away. I just don’t know what to do

Hello. New here. I started Lexapro towards the end of June 2023. I was on 2.5 mg for two weeks. 5 for two weeks. 7.5 for two weeks and 10 for 6 weeks before I started tapering off. I tapered off under doctors recs. I didn't know any better. While I was on the drug I had this awful heavy body feeling and muscle tension. Whenever I would go up the next dose I would have hyperreflexia and my joints would just twitch at night while trying to fall asleep. I've been off 3 and a half months. The first 3 weeks I was about getting back to normal. I went and got botox one day, and I don't know if it was the botox or if it would have happened anyway but i fell hard into withdrawl. Oddly on the meds and on my bad days, I notice my joints don't crack like they normally do. It's weird. My blood pressure for three weeks in December was insane. It would go into the high 40s and then shoot up into the 70s. That seems to be stable now. Still dealing with the heavy body feeling. Loss of sensation. Muscle tension and sometimes twitching. I had a few day window last week, where I felt almost 100 percent back to normal. My dry eyes are killing me. Followed by today where I don't have much sensation on my arms or hands. My head feels 200 lbs. And I have extreme muscle tension in the back of my head. Are there even muscles there? How can that even hurt so bad. The cervical spine area seems to be the worst. I went to PT to try and help, but I don't think it did anything. I see people that never recover and I just worry I will hit a wave and never come out.

Hi I was prescribed Paroxetine and Lexapro for over 10 years for my depression and anxiety. Tbh I was prescribed an array of medications by my first doctor who seemed hell bent on throwing them at me like tic tacs. After still having suicidal idealtion, endless crying spells, depression and anxiety another medication was added to the growing list...Zoloft. I had a severe reaction and had to stop it in a day. It traumatised me so much, I didn't resume my Lexapro medication. I went on with my life and for the first month I was fine and didn't really notice the absence of Lexapro in my life. But then I was struck down with anxiety and depression and tried to go back on my 5mg of Lexapro but got an allergic reaction from being off them for a month. I have been put on St. John's Wort and I'm trying to hold on but I'm losing all hope as I see my life collapse before my eyes. I'm physically getting worse and feel so physically weak and nauseated. I have brain zaps and tingles. I can't eat or exercise and feel that my life is over. It's absolutely terrifying. I fear becoming homeless because I need a job and money for essentials. I miss the person I used to be and never felt so alone in my life. There's no one that seems to understand and no support network in Australia. I know I didn't taper slowly enough and it would of been wise to do it slower. But unfortunately I tried to restart using Lexapro and had severe allergic reactions. We also don't have it in liquid form in Australia for a 10 percent tapering reduction. I now live all alone with no partner or support network. I'm 49 years old and feel that my life is over. Living with no hope, physical and mental symptoms, suicidal idealation, loneliness and despair coupled with financial stress makes me feel as though I just can't make it through this. I'm starting to lose all hope.

Hi all, I was excited to see that this site was accepting new members starting back up January 1st, as I wanted to join a couple months ago and couldn't. I am currently tapering off 20mg of lexapro. I started tapering on 9/01/23 by dropping down to 15mg as suggested by my psychiatrist. I did that and had virtually no side effects. Two or three weeks later I tried dropping to 10mg per his recommendation and bam.... I had a terrible reaction. Worst anxiousness I've ever felt in my life. That's when I started doing my research and found that most doctors don't know what they are doing when it comes to tapering and I also found this wonderful website. I then went back to 15mg and the next day I went down to 12.5 mg. I was on 12.5 mg for three or so weeks and then dropped to 10mg on 10/24/23. I was on 10mg until 12/05/23 so a little over one month. Again, I have had virtually no side affects lowering my dose at any time... just occasion weird feelings in head and I am starting to feel my emotions come back. I then dropped down to 7.5mg on 12/05/23 and took it for about three weeks again with virtually no side effects. Then, the day after Christmas I started to feel pretty off. Very irritable and angry for no reason. I also felt very anxious and started to sweat a lot for about 15 minutes and then it went away. I also started to not sleep as well. My main symptoms were achy or painful joints off and on, lack of focus/brain fog at times, pressure in head, emotional fluctuations, occasional spikes in anxiety, stomach pain/cramps that would come and go, bloating/gas at times, and muscle fatigue. This all started on 12/26/23 and continued until 1/3/24. On 1/3/24 I started to feel pretty much normal again. No issues. I figured this little spell was just my body getting used to a lower dose. Then, around 1/8/24, I started feeling my body kind of slip back into this sucky state that I had previously felt a week or so ago. I am not sleeping as good, though I never feel tired during the day. These past three days have kind of been a blur, but I am managing to get through them. Today has been kind of crazy. Started noticing a sensitivity to loud noises that kind of comes and goes (this is a problem as I work in construction... constant loud noises). I also get these really weird shivering/shaking spells that I cannot control. I do not feel cold, I just start to shiver uncontrollably. I also felt like I was in a terrible mental state... something I have never felt before, but I was not anxious at all. I felt like I couldn't and did not want to eat... which is very much unlike me. I also noticed a gagging feeling coming on for no reason. I then ate some cheese and crackers and bam! Within 5 minutes it was like I was healed. Here I am 20 minutes later typing this out for you guys to hear. Throughout this whole process, I have noticed that exercise has helped tremendously! 30 minutes of speed walking and running on the treadmill everyday works miracles. I am also learning how much diet and nutrient/vitamin levels help regulate the body and mental health. So that's my story so far.... not sure why I never have had any symptoms of withdrawal the past four months until two or so weeks ago. Any help would be appreciated! I look forward to learning and helping others through their tapering journey!

Background: I got put on 10mg Lexapro at age 30 right at 8 years ago because I randomly started having anxiety attacks for a week or two and had no idea why as I had never had depression or anxiety issues before that. Last year I decided I wanted off because I started to notice looking back for that a few years I had been dealing with fatigue and emotional blunting. I also noticed it was harder for me to learn new things (I was really smart in my younger years) and I would always forget fairly easy words in the middle of my sentences. It was quite weird, but I wanted off needless to say. I weaned off from 10mg down to 5mg and then 2.5mg over the course of 2 or 3 months. About 2 weeks after discontinuing completely (October 3rd) I had a rough 3 or 4 days of overwhelming anxiety and depression. It subsided and things got better. Then it hit me again for 4 or 5 days. Then subsided. Then hit me again for just under 2 weeks in mid December. Then subsided again. Now it is just hitting me again the last 3 days. This is a constant anxiety/depression where I am in constant fight or flight mode and just absolutely miserable. It is hard to get through my day at work and it is also hard to get to sleep at night and I've lost all excitement for anything and always tired. Its been around 1 month in total of bad days over the past 3 months. I just want it to be over. My question is: Would going back on a low dosage of 5mg of Lexapro for a bit and then try weaning off much slower while going to therapy be a good idea? Has anybody been in this situation and navigated your way through it successfully? Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. Just to add: In 8 days I am going on a 10 day trip to Mexico/Honduras with a woman I really care about and I am even finding it hard to get excited about this trip. I'm worried I will be fighting my fight or flight modes while there with her and completely ruining things. HELP!

Hello, This is my first post on this forum after lurking for a couple years while tapering off of Zoloft, starting at age 20. I thought I had the taper under control for most of that time, but all the changes seem to have caught up with me. I am feeling skeptical that this is going to pass and that I will ever be able to get off of this medication. Anxiety, panic attacks, and physical disorientation and discomfort have kept me effectively homebound for a few months now, with no sign of cessation; it is discomfort far greater than I have ever experienced in my life. My sleep is often interrupted, and sometimes I am awake for up to 40 hours at a time due to physical stress. I cannot walk around my neighbourhood, let alone take the bus, go to the store, or participate in work or school; I can do very little physical activity at home, and have to be extremely cautious with my dietary choices. I am currently taking no supplements, but I am considering trying L-Theanine or Taurine, which I understand to be neuroprotective. Gabapentin seemingly helped me through medication changes in the past before, but I am skeptical of adding a new drug into the mix. My doctor had been helpful with the taper, but suddenly changed her tune after I was finally honest about the problems I was having, and is now of the opinion that I need to be on this drug forever (her words), completely disregarding the fact that many of my symptoms are purely physical and could not be explained by my "original condition" (as she maintains is the case.) Additionally, I have been adamant that going back on medication is not an option; Zoloft caused me to uncontrollably engage in extremely self-destructive and reckless behaviour (drinking by myself until passing out, sleeping with strangers using no protection, reckless driving); prior to taking medication, I was a quiet, introverted guy who liked gaming and fantasy literature, and had neither taken a sip of alcohol nor intended to. I also believe it is responsible for a sudden complete and unprecedented shift in sexuality (from heterosexuality to homosexuality) and strong gender dysphoria. I do not know which mechanism of the drug could have caused this, but there is no other suitable explanation, as these acquired traits have both completely subsided, directly synchronous with my taper. When I told my doctor that the medication had these effects on me, she prescribed me Seroquel (which I am, of course, not taking); despite my calm demeanour over the phone, she clearly thinks that I am delusional. I certainly learned my lesson through this, and will no longer say any more than is necessary to avoid seeming belligerent. Out of all the people in my life, only my mother and my girlfriend believe me that Zoloft caused me to have this dramatic personality shift that endangered my life, and they are both very supportive of me in general. My father, who is currently financially supporting me, albeit reluctantly, is of the same mind as my doctor; he believes that I have a genetic defect and must be medicated permanently. Overall, however, he has been surprisingly tolerant, and I have a safe place to live where my needs are being taken care of. I have undergone thorough medical examination, and have been determined to be in good physical health, aside from a recent POTS diagnosis that I believe is a result of my taper and is causing many of my symptoms. To sum everything up: I am trapped in a world of discomfort, and have no idea what my next steps should be. Any help at all is appreciated. I am only a young guy, and the future is not looking bright right now. I am really scared that I have damaged my body and brain beyond repair both by taking the medication for so long at such a high dose and in tapering improperly. Having said that, I am feeling much more like myself, and I know that I am on the right track. P.S. I apologize if any part of my post violates content guidelines. I was aiming for as much clarity as possible but any offending parts can certainly be removed.

Hello everybody my names Rico, I’m currently going through severe withdraw from lexapro, almost identical to what the founder of this page whent through, to the point I’m so hypersensitive to everything including vitamins I can’t even take caffeine or I will have intrusive thoughts for days and wake up with anxiety or to the point where I could take 1 small shot or sip of alcohol and have headaches for days, my tolerance to everything is insanely low, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on guys my brain feels like scrambled eggs and I’m in constant pain mentally is anyone else going through something similar and has anyone else here had success with curing this?

Hi everyone, I am new to this site and am glad to have found it. Twelve years ago when I was 14 years old I was put onto Cipralex 20 mg once a day. I have been on that medication since until last month when I officially tapered off and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin XL 150 mg once a day. It has not been until recently that I’ve read about lasting permanent effects on personality, mood, and behaviour from being on antidepressants for so long. Especially for someone such as myself who was on it from 14 years old to 26 years old while my brain was developing. I am beyond concerned with what this may have done to me and feel helpless and unsure of what to do or where to go from here. I’m not even sure where to begin to look on this site. I have felt “monotone,” blank and emotionless for the past probably 4-5 years, which was one of the reasons I wanted to discontinue Cipralex. It’s like I can no longer feel any range of emotion. I cannot remember the last time I felt genuinely happy or genuinely sad. I used to be so energetic, bubbly, outgoing, and silly, I could light up a room and now it’s like that part of myself is gone—extinguished or muffled. I can feel nothing other than “flat” every single day. There are no ups or downs, so it’s not just anhedonia but I can’t feel sadness or anger either. I believe this is sometimes called emotional blunting? I’m wondering if this will ever go away and if I will ever feel like I did when I was 14-18 again. This emotional numbness feels like a death sentence. When I research online it says emotional blunting should be reversed once off of SSRIs but I am concerned maybe that will not be the case for me seeing as though I was on the medication for 10+ years and during critical brain development. I guess I can feel some sadness because thinking about being emotionally blunted forever makes me want to cry. I long to feel strongly about anything again. I would love to hear other’s stories about coming off of Cipralex/Lexapro/Escitalopram after 10+ years during peak developmental brain years and their experiences with managing this emotional numbness and if any sense of normalcy ever returned to them. Ideally I would like to eventually come off of Wellbutrin too. After being on Cipralex for so long and experiencing the side effects I had while on it, I’m concerned about being on any antidepressants now.