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  1. Hello all, I’m new here. If I tapered off too quickly last time I took escitolopram will my brain never fully regrow itself back to normal? I read the article on this site regarding the importance of tapering off properly and what antidepressants really do to your brain.. I was put on 10mg of escitolopram 6 years ago and cold turkey went off maybe a little less than a year. As you can imagine I fell into a horrible depression due to this. Went back on 10mg of the same medicine 6 months later and it helped until it stopped working about a year later and it was causing low sex drive, emotional numbness etc.. I ended up tapering off of those much to quickly and I was wondering if there is hope for my brain? I have never been a person with a temper and after quitting escitolopram the second time I had an intense rage ignite inside of me and it has weighed me and my whole life down, my husband included. I was sunshine and rainbows when we met and that was very much so my personality for most of my life. I struggled with depression and a very mild anxiety but I didn’t take antidepressants until I was in an abusive relationship and needed something to “fix me” (obviously it was the relationship causing these problems) though medicating was not the answer it did help in the time being. I have always been extremely sensitive to medication, that’s why I never went on more than the 10mg of escitolopram. Moral of the story, I am suffering with postpartum depression badly and I went back onto them again for four days before finding out I’m pregnant recently and went straight off because I don’t want to poison this baby. I read about regrowing your brain and now I’m curious if I’ve messed mine up beyond fixing? Has my brain been regrowing? I feel my anger has gotten less but still there and a constant battle to keep in check. I just want to know if there is hope that my brain will go back to its normal healthy functions again.. Thank you for reading and God bless.
  2. Hello! I have been around these different types of boards just as a 'viewer' and NEVER thought i'd join but this particular group seems to be the perfect type for me-highly researched, and wanting to take their own health back and into their own hands! My quick story: struggled with anxiety my whole life on and off. Especially health worrying and obsessing. This past summer it got really bad and I couldn't stop looking online about symptoms of this disease or that. Facebook didn't help. And by the end of this summer it snowballed into depression because I was just feeling hopeless and consumed with worry I stopped going to the gym and doing things that interested me (like cooking healthy foods, etc). Backtrack-for a YEAR my GP was trying to get me to go on lexapro or paxil and i kept saying 'no' - so he gave me xanax. So I was taking that (.25 mg) for about 6 months at night and it was keeping things at bay (until this summer). So I go and see at talk therapist, to talk about my 'health obsessions' and she mentions that Celexa would be the 'perfect' drug for me and she's seen people 'just like me' do great on it. So I start taking 10 mg I think end of Sept/beginning of October 2013..I was feeling OK on it but around the 4 week mark I started waking up in a complete panic, sweat and couldn't breathe. Then these panic attacks led to suicidal thoughts-I thought I was going crazy, I was not ME. So mid-october I go off of it cold turkey (only been on it about 6 weeks). Felt awful for a week, tried 5-HTP, Valerian Root..felt a little better but my therapist and those around me kept saying 'i needed something' and I had friends who had been on these meds and were 'feeling fabulous' So I thought maybe I just didn't find the right med. So I decided to see a psychiatrist this time. Beginning of November, I see a psych, does an hour evaluation, perscribes me effexor. Started at 37.5..5 days later, panic attack in the morning, a plan to kill myself. *NOTE* I NEVER HAD PANIC ATTACKS OR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BEFORE THESE MEDS My Psych and Therapist tell me: 'you would've had these attacks anyway, nothing to do with the meds, up your dose' - so I up my dose and spend 4 days at a mental health clinic for 'anxiety and depression' - Then for the next month I upped my effexor dose to 150. For a couple weeks I felt agoraphobic and didn't want to leave my house. Turns out the effexor gave me really high BP so my dr has been weaning me off of this (which i'm happy about anyway because I don't want to be on this and i'm glad my BP is my 'excuse' for getting off of it) - so now i'm BACK on celexa, but this time 20 mg. I have NO panic attacks BUT I have horrendous nightmares. Once i'm done weaning off of effexor completely in the next week or so ( i'm going to split the 25mg in half and then i'm done doing this weekly). But my question is-do I stay on Celexa? Will Celexa actually 'retrain my brain' to be 'right?' (my friend's GP actually told her that). Or am I just prolonging the inevitable of relapsing and I should just go off of it now. I'm researching SAM-e. St. John's Wort. positives: my mood has improved on celexa, my anxiety is down to nothing, BUT I wake up exhausted from these dreams, i have diareah, (sorry if that's TMI), and my obsessions about health are just turning into obsessions about what these meds really do to your brain. I'm meditating now, reading about buddhism which is helping and I journal every night. THANK YOU if you read this-or even a little bit-is it me or is it the meds that caused these attacks? Am I going crazy? I kind of miss the 'old me' looking back that was a worried anxiety mess-because atleast i was ME. Hindsight's 20/20 I suppose. Wishing you all well. I look forward to making some friends and hearing from you guys.
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