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Hi all, I’m an almost 39 year old woman from the Netherlands. Going through withdrawl right now. Need support, thanks in advance!!! 2007 Started Paroxetine in end 2007 due to an anxiety disorder and emetophobia. Starting was hellish, also because high dose of metocolopramide combined with extreme loss of weight (46kg with 1,78m). Used 10mg for a year. Tapered in 3 months after one year, no acute withdrawl. 2009 Summer 2009 anxiety came back (don’t know if that was relapse due to stopping or new triggers for anxiety). Started again on 10mg. Was a rough start. Not many negative side effects during years of use. Used it from 2009 ‘till summer 2021. Had 2 separate years when I increased to 20mg. Going up and coming down to 10mg without any problems. Sometimes when I forgot a dose for two days (happened 2 times), noticed mild brainzaps. Gone within a days. In those years I experienced 4 to max 8 severe panic attacks per year. Used 20mg Oxazepam (Seresta) for those panic attacks. 2021 June 2021 wanted to come of Paroxetine due to sexual disorder and stabile life and mind (and negative info in the news about permanent damage). Tapered from 10mg to 4,5mg in four weeks, no problems. Wanted to taper from 4,5mg to 1,5mg in four weeks. Got withdrawl at 2,8mg, so stabilized at 3mg. Withdrawl ended in 7 days. Stabilized at 3mg since, without relapse. Noticed that I got more emotional, but guess that’s a normal thing in life. Had lots of therapy in 2022 for cluster C personality disorder. But managed with 3mg. Therapy ended sept ‘22. 2023 Plan was to taper from 3mg to 1mg in 6 months. And would taper final mg next year. January 26th started tapering. In four weeks from 3mg to 2,5mg. Sometimes excessive dreaming, sometimes a crying spell. Withdrawl? Don’t know. But could handle that. Next four weeks wanted to go from 2,5-2,0mg. When I got to 2,2mg after 2-3 weeks, started noticing two brainzaps. Started stabilizing on 2,2mg immediately. Stabilized on 2,2mg for 14 days, but withdrawl symptoms got worse. Ended up at the GP in the middle of the night. Anxiety, crying, depressed. Decided to go back up to 2,5mg cause didn’t have symptoms at that dosage. In the following 10-11 days (‘till today, 6th of april) I had several okay days. Brighter mind, less symptoms, still problems with waking up often during sleep and some physical symptoms. But also had a few days with many symptoms and complete hell: anxiety, wobbly head, depressed, crying a lot, dispair, hot flashes, shivers, trembling. GP —> rather 3 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 2 okay days —> 1 hell day —> 4 okay days —> today is hell again. And I’m so so scared. Desperate. Begged to get hospitalized for support and safe enviroment. But that’s only possible if you’re suidical. I’m not, although I wish I would these days… So many questions now. GP wants to help, but hasn’t got the right knowledge. So: A) it is normal to have okay and bad days in stabilisation fase? I tought it would be a slow line going up, didn’t expect those bad days. Certainly not after 10 days stabilisation. So scared of further deterioration next days… b) what is an average time to be stable again? C) is it possible to have an adverse reaction to stabilising on 0,3mg more then the 2,2mg in the two stabilisationweeks prior? D) what and when could be signs that I have to go back to 3,0mg from end of january (that was my last baseline 8 weeks ago already)? Did some online research last few weeks and now realise I went way to fast. Already thought is was a slow taper… Wish I had this info before… Some reactions would be awesome, really appreciate that!!!

First, I had bad anxiety in my early twenties. Started Effexor, took it for about a year then tried stopping with a fast taper. I got fired from work 4 ou 5 months later and my anxiety went up big time. Started Effexor again. Went up to 110mg, but I was having many side effects so after talking to my doctor, I decided to stop. I reduced the dosage over 2 months then stop. Went throught withdrawal for a few weeks and then things got quiet for a few months. I started getting hit by some fairly heavy anxiety and panic attacks without stress to trigger it. I went back to effexor for a few months and then I switched to escitalopram 10mg to try and see if I would have less side effects. I stayed on escitalopram 10mg for at least 6 years. Now, at the start of January 2024, I run out of escitalopram for a few days. That's when I decided to try and quit. Just like that. The withdrawal was hell. A lot of brain zap, anger that I could not contain at all, brain fog, insomnia, etc. After 6 weeks, most of the symptoms were gone or wayyyy more manageable. 1 week before the 4 months mark, I started getting vertigo and feeling dizzy. I had no idea what was going on. My anxiety started acting up again and I took an appointment with my doctor. He's starting me on 5mg escitalopram again. I took my first half pill 8 hours ago and I feel absolutely awful: It's impossible to sleep, I had 2 panic attacks, I feel like I need to walk all the time and my hands are shaking. And now i'm scared to death, does it mean that I have kindled? Should I keep taking 5mg and see if it stabilize? Should I lower to 2.5? Should I stop?!

Hi, I’ve taken zoloft 50mg 14 years non-stop. Later years felt numbed, disinterest, vision problems, inner shakes, burning weird headache etc. First doctor wanted to increase dose but I felt so bad we stopped it. Later on decreased dose with 12,5mg. In few days had symptoms and got advised to go back to 50mg - adverse effect and became worse. Muscle twitching, heart palpitations, aggression, intensive suicide thoughts, burning in head felt like electricity. Went to clinic first time. They said stress. Then another doctor said it could be serotonin syndrome or akathisia. Months went by with severe side effects. Difficult position having side effects from taken zoloft but also from reducing it. Went into clinic to get help to reduce. 25mg cut ”your on observation”. The fifth day I didnt get anything and said - Stop, you cannot do this in five days!!? 50mg to zero 😕. I left. Was told by doctor ”you can't go back now because then you'll get really sick”. Its 10 weeks since cut from 50 to 25. At first felt ”ok” but third week came most of the hard WD. Mostly in bed for weeks: weekness, extreme fatigue, cognitive memory, difficulties to walk, palpitations, buzzing electric sensations with headache, pain in body neck shoulders, blurred weird vision diziness disoriented. Few times also feeling little more presence than zombie-feeling. But it feels like senses are overwhelmed to take in impressions. Been taking Zoloft for so long I don’t know how it is without. Think Im breaking down Zoloft slowly and sensitive but haven’t checked it out. Right now my worst WD is severe headache in different places, pressure in head, eyes down my neck and in general feel week and lost. Some days been unbearable. Brainfog, cognitive (to write this). No energy, electric buzzing head, achy, stiffness, feeling behind and sensitive to noise and light. Tried few walks but body mostly says No. I know it's a too big reduction but was hoping. Had severe side effects and heard that the last 25mg is the hardest, would do it very slowly. Worried that maybe WD will be delayed and could be worse... Is it common for Zoloft (short half-life)? Thinking about long time effects and if I made a to big cut for the system. Also worried how tough 25mg reducing is for my heart, female 50 year. Could it be dangerous? Its 10 weeks since cut, is it even possible to reinstate and how small amount? I dont know…trying to hold on, wait, and just feels good to be here…

Hi all! So happy to have found this place! I’ve browsed a few posts, and I think I’ve found my people lol! About me- I’m 51 years old, and have been on and off a bunch of psychiatric meds since the 90s. My memory is poor (more on that later), so I can’t remember exact dates, but I have been on Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin and Escitalopram, along with occasional benzos and zopiclone for short periods. Honestly- i wish I had never started taking any of them. Hindsight and a really good therapist has made me realize that many of my choices in life have just not been very congruent with my wants/needs/values etc, leading to some serious cognitive dissonance. I have also experienced severe professional burnout many times, and have some childhood trauma that I had never dealt with. Had I found a good therapist in my 20s, I may have never started taking these drugs. BUT- I am generally a pretty optimistic person, so I am looking forward, and feeling so grateful to have been able to improve my knowledge on withdrawal, so I can do it right this time. I have never tapered slowly. I have always followed my doctors’ advice, and my slowest taper was off of Effexor, and that only took two months. I had little difficulty coming off Wellbutrin, but all the others were awful- restlessness, irritability, brain zaps, bouts of severe depression, tremors, insomnia, extreme sensitivity to light and noise. I most recently started taking 10mg of escitalopram in 2016. I had changed jobs, and was having crippling anxiety about my new role. I didn’t want to start taking it- i had been off of it since before my daughter was born in 2009. But being in a new job, I felt I had to show my employer that I was willing to do anything to get back to work asap. So I started taking it, and took four months off to pull myself together, so to speak. Fast forward to 2020- still on my 10mg of escitalopram. Didn’t want to be, but couldn’t face weaning, and all the withdrawal symptoms. Then the pandemic hit. I work in healthcare, so needless to say, this was a scary time for me. Anxiety peaked, and my doctor increased my dose to 20mg. It didn’t help at all. My anxiety remained high for the next two years… I was just surviving. I was so anxious and burned out, I barely remember anything from that time period. It’s like a bad dream. i finally contracted COVID in June 2022. I was not hospitalized, but was very ill for four weeks. When I finally managed to go back to work, I couldn’t function. Went off on sick leave, and was eventually diagnosed with long COVID. My symptoms have included crippling fatigue, severe right sided headaches, chest pain/pressure, palpitations, severe brain fog, memory issues, internal ‘vibrations’ (for lack of a better term), cyanosis when my heart rate goes over 125 and presyncope. I haven’t worked since August 2022. Over the last two years, I have learned to manage my symptoms fairly well with diet, hydration, additional salt, compression stockings, meditation and my awesome therapist. I started to taper my escitalopram last November, with fairly large dosage cuts… it occurred to me that I’ve done this before, and always ended up right back on the meds. So I started researching how to properly taper, and realized that everything I had done in the past was misguided, and likely caused some long term health issues. So I’ve decided to slow my taper waaaay down, hoping to get off of these drugs for good! Feeling very optimistic! 😁 I am also taking low dose naltrexone 2.5mg for long COVID, estrogel for hot flashes, vitamin D 2000iu/day, B12 1000mcg per day (I’m vegan- no choice on this one!). i think that’s it- in a nutshell… I’ve had more than my share of legit emotional turmoil too, but it’s all just too much to share here. I will say that I’m in a really great emotional place right now, so I feel the time is right to do a proper taper. I look forward to sharing my journey here! 😊

I stupidly started taking 10 mg per day of baclofen for pain, after being very clear with my doctor that I didn't want to take anything that causes physical dependence/addiction. The side effects were bad after taking it about 8 days so I stopped - and am now experiencing withdrawal! Turns out it must be tapered off. I'm beyond angry at myself and my doctor. Conventional instructions are to reduce 10 mg to 5 mg for a week, then half again, then stop - distressingly similar to the incorrect info we get about ADs. Does anyone know or have any experience with tapering off after taking 10 mg/day for 8 days? As background, I have taken ADs for over 30 years and have spent the last 5 years trying to taper off venlafaxine. I am now diagnosed with ME/CFS/mitochondrial deficiency. I'm still taking 8 mg of venlafaxine.

Hi I hope that someone will be able to give me some kind of hope. I have been tapering from 20mg of Prozac and am now down to 4mg (for the last two months) but the side effects have been awful - mainly chronic fatigue, terror attacks, anxiety and generally feeling like I have the start or end of flu. Should I stay on the 4mg until this subsides? I was also on Venlafaxine 75mg (until about a year ago - but my GP withdrew me from this in a matter of weeks) so I'm not really sure if the symptoms are also due to this too.

I took 25 mg Zoloft about 12 years ago for just a few weeks. Decided it wasn’t for me. “Officially” started Zoloft 7 years ago for the first time for post-partum anxiety. I was a mess. Jumping at every little movement of things, miserable and anxious. I actually had an elevated TSH with my first pregnancy so that definitely could have contributed to my anxiety/arousal post partum. Now I have been on and off Z throughout those years to some degree or another for anxiety that is triggered by health-ocd. Feeling good this year during a busy work season, I reduced my 100 mg dose to 75 in October. Didn’t feel any different. Until I started getting low iron symptoms or so I thought (weak and shaky legs, shortness of breath, cheat pain). These were anxiety symptoms that I took for iron deficiency. So instead of getting anxiety under control, I took a BOAT LOAD of iron. I had had iron definitely in the past so I thought I knew what I needed. Also increased my Zoloft back up to 100 in November. But had an anxiety relapse on 100 mg (Dec 2023). Had iron levels tested. They were beyond fine (even highish ferritin). Looking back, it was likely side effects from upping from 75 to 100 that caused the anxiety. So naturally, didn’t feel well, so I increased to 125 and never got better. Started therapy during this time. Went up to 150 after 125 didn’t work. Each increase made me horrifically worse. Boarderline psychosis (this was in February). Started buspar 2.5 mg 3x per day. Thank heavens, I never went up on the buspar. (my GP confused side effects for anxiety) Reduced to 125 for a week the same day I began buspar. Then down to 100 one week after 125. Sat at 100 mg for 4 weeks. Started to feel more stable after 2 weeks at 100. But then became erratic with my buspar dosing (it also likely just starting to “work” which was likely too much medicine with the 100 mg Zoloft). Started getting withdrawal from buspar, but confused it for Sertonin syndrome. Then stopped the Buspar cold turkey approx. 2 weeks ago today (March 22). Had 3+ days of INTENSE withdrawal. Tremors, extreme anxiety, and feeling blank in my head. Had a few “normal days” then was having random bouts of anxiety and bad days, so I thought my Zoloft dose was still too high (stupid). Thankfully only went down to 87.5. Currrently tappered down to 87.5. Most recent taper was from 100 to 87.5 5 days ago. Many of my psychosis-like symptoms went away after coming down from 150. But then the withdrawal hit. Ive been experiencing many severe withdrawal symptoms intermittently throughout dose these past med changes including waves of brain fog, fatigue, exaggerated fears, feeling “flat,” intense anxiety over daily tasks, tremors, twitching and dizziness. Doing the work for my health OCD in therapy. Planning to come off with a slow taper in the next year or two. Tips welcome! I haven’t begun tapering as I just officially this week have been “saved” by SA. I have no idea where to begin even after reading the tapering guide. But I’m off to go read it again.

Hey guys, I've been on Escilatopram/ Lexapro for 17 years and I went from 20mg to 15mg with not much fuss. I stayed there for around 8 months coz I kept missing appointments with my psychiatrist. In those months, I started taking Omega 3, Lion's Mane and I'm on Probiotics and Magnesium anyway. I also started going to the gym 3 times a week. If making exercise a habit is a mystery to you, read this amazing book https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits. It might be important to note that I've been on an intense healing journey for 4 years. I've done lots of talk therapy(covered), breathwork(not covered), subconscious therapy(not covered), somatic massage(not covered), and done lots of reading on the nervous system, anger, etc. All of this built my self-awareness, so I know my limits a bit better. Then I went down to 10mg with liquid Escilatopram and had a rough week. I was very angry, and lots of thoughts/ feelings came up. I'm guessing this was all suppressed by the medicine. So I started looking for urgent therapy. In Germany, you need a consultation appointment to verify that you need therapy before you actually get therapy. In Berlin, you go through KV Berlin (association of Doctors); you can even make an appointment online now: https://www.116117.de/de/index.php. Click on the time to book the appointment. But you need to go back to KV database of doctors to figure out what languages these available doctors speak. Make sure your browser is not automatically translating; it messes up the search. So, after the first rough week of withdrawal, I've had a week of feeling ok with bouts of irrational anger, which was under control. Also, I didn't push myself and took naps when overwhelmed, normally 2 hours each. I also took pharmacy-grade Ketamine to cope with the really rough moments and took 1.2gm of magic mushrooms once in that 2 week period. I only went to the gym twice this week and did a big bike ride and forest walk. I also added B-complex to my supplements. So I did the consultation appointment, and she told me to go to a day clinic within a hospital where they would also deal with my chronic pain and give me daily therapy (covered). Apparently, that clinic will get me on to weekly therapy sessions once I'm ready for that. I will do that after Easter weekend and continue tapering. There's also an option to stay at a rehabilitation clinic (covered) which has a daily schedule of therapy and exercise. So the journey continues. I've tried to get off these meds before, and I feel a lot more stable and in control. I do believe the supplements and exercise help. My husband is also being super supportive. I see my psychiatrist soon and will taper down to maybe 7mg or 5mg. I'm not the most patient person, I want to be able to go back to work quickly without biting anyone's head off. Has anyone tried vagus nerve exercises to calm the nervous system in these bad moments?

Hello all. First time poster here. I have been a member for over a year but never had the nerve to post. I need help. Quick background: Was put on 20mg paxil and .5mg xanax per day around 2006. The xanax was switched to ativan probably around 2011ish. I quit the paxil and ativan c/t end of October 2020. January 2nd 2021 started having extreme unrelenting brain zaps, anxiety, fear, terror, palpitations, inability to sleep....just wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I had quit drinking January 1st and assumed it was that...but I was not that heavy of a drinker. I now believe this was my first experience of withdrawal. Around the 12th day of experiencing this I took 10mg of paxil out of sheer desperation. A couple of hours later it virtually stopped all of the worst symptoms. My nervous system was taxed. I was shaky...but somewhat alright. It took a month or so to feel myself. I stayed on the 10mg. Plus side...I was no longer taking the ativan. Fastforward to January 2023. I attempted to wean down further to 5mg. This was going fine all the way to September 27th when I stopped altogether...again. I could tell my brain was healing and I had plenty of mild symptoms...but I was ok. February 27th 2024...randomly had my heart rate go up to 140 bpm while sitting watching tv. Went to the ER...everything came back fine. "Must be my anxiety I thought". I should note that prior to meds my ocd/generalized anxiety/occasional panic disorder were not what they became ON the meds...hence my realization that they were doing no good if not increasing issues. Anyway...I felt a bit better but then had a root canal this past Monday March 25th. Within a few hours the unrelenting feelings were back like before (in 2021) but even worse. My heart rate was up around 120bpm or so just walking around...lightheaded, dizzy, odd sensations like sounds seemed too loud etc. This horrible sensation of something that begins in my chest like the worst panic sensations you can imagine. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I couldnt go for walks, my heart rate was scaring me. This has gone on for over a week. I relented and took @ 2.5mg of paxil yesterday and @2.5mg today about 24hr apart. There are other symptoms I was feeling but cant remember right now. Within 2 hours the feeling in the core of my body began to melt. It didnt go completely away but it became maybe 3/4 better. Im scared. Im trying...maybe the wrong way but trying. I want this gone. I want this drug gone. Im just trying to stabilize. I dont want to lose my job. My doctor is having heart tests done but doesnt believe its a heart issue. I also, for years...all of which are during the time from first c/t to now have had a feeling like Im not getting full breaths. Pulmonologist says nothing is wrong with my lungs except I smoke. He did a full pulmonary function test. Im just looking for support...a feeling like I can do this...like Im going to be ok eventually. A comradery with someone or someones who understand. I dont know how to effectively cope. Nothing at all seemed to help in the worst times...and I dont want it back. But...I want this drug gone. I want to heal. I want to move on. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads my story. There's more to it...but this is the most pertinent slice...for now. All help is appreciated. -Rob

Not sure what to write…. I tried an unsuccessful tapering around 4 years ago, 2020, I was 60, crashed so badly, reinstated again, built my life up again. After some research I tried again tapering off last year 2023, did the tapering twice as long, over 6 months, not much information out there for getting off meds…. So wish I had this site then, did not know the tapering should be so slow!! Anyways, serious withdrawal symptoms that have destroyed my life again, now I live with horrible anxiety, physical pain, stomach issues, and mental anguish! Lost my whole lifestyle….I question daily “why did I do this to myself? Why am I putting myself through this suffering? On the Meds, my life wasn’t so bad, not like what some of you have. Yes, I slept 12 to 15 hours a day, mental fog, emotional numbness, but I had the strength to live, hobbies, reasons to be. now I’m just so lost…. There are days when I think I should reinstate but from reading here I’m afraid of different symptoms. I have been drug free 6 months,…. Something stops me from going back on…. Like if I do then this last year of suffering will be for nothing…. reading stories here is scary for me cause I didn’t know it would take so long for my brain, body, mind to heal. But it also the most real truthful place I found. I do a lot of daily walking, deep breathing, listening to healing videos, it is helping some…. But I have no meaning, no value in living, the real world outside of my home scares me, I feel like I don’t belong anymore. Now I live in an environment that I dislike immensely, which makes it even harder to build from. anyways, that’s it for now…. Now how to add the signature part of med history…

Hi everyone, I was on Lexapro 20mg for more than 9 years - constantly. This was initially for symptoms related to body dysmorphic disorder, but then anxiety and depression also became an issue. Last September (2023), I decided I no longer wanted to be reliant on anti-depressants. I tapered down much too quickly within 3 months - 20mg -> 15mg -> 10mg -> 5mg -> over 3 months before stopping completely in November. I felt normal and fine all of November & December. Then January hit me, then February, then March & now April. The symptoms of anxiety and depression, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, feeling like I have some sort of viral sickness - has plagued me since early January. These symptoms are much worse in the week leading up to when my period is due. After feeling this exhaustion for 3 - 4 months, today I decided to go back on 5mg of Lexapro to see if this might help, with the eventual goal of tapering back down to 0mg using liquid form, however, over a much longer period of time. Any insight or advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance.

I’ve been here before but I don’t think I posted an introduction when I first joined the site. That opening sentence is a good analogy for my story - I started something a number of years ago, I didn’t get far, couldn’t fully engage or complete the steps and now looking back, it’s hard to recall the detail (I had to go to my profile page to see the date I signed up - shocked that it was almost 5 years ago). Many ambitions in work, life, health, friendships but minimal progress and much frustration, sadness and increasing ill health. SSRI use began in my early 20s after many years of depression and anxiety. I think I was prescribed Citalopram. Towards the end of my 20s my husband and I decided to start a family. I came off meds twice because I didn't want to be on them during pregnancy or breadstfeeding. I don’t even recall how I stopped. Tried Zoloft after my 2nd child and had a terrible experience. Went on to Lexapro for approx 6 years. Switched to SNRI Effexor. I found the addition of norepinephrine really helpful to begin with as a prominent feature of my depression is lack of motivation and I was positive about the benefits I experienced. After some years I started experiencing debilitating daytime sleepiness. I had very heavy menstrual blood loss after my 2nd baby and often had low iron. Being a tired parent, the sleepiness didn’t seem that unusual, especially with my symptoms of low mood, anhedonia, etc. I tried to research the effect of antidepressants on sleep quality as I suspected that long term use could be affecting my sleep stages. Approx 2012 - 2015 Attempted to withdraw from Effexor twice. First attempt was way too fast and withdrawal was awful and so unsettling. Reinstated Second attempt was much slower after researching and finding anecdotal accounts of slow tapering; I think it was over 10-12 months. I coped until the end of the taper and then was once again really unwell. Once I reached small numbers of the little white beads I was swallowing them without a capsule It’s possible the drug didn’t make it past my stomach acids - essentially at the most precarious stage of tapering the decreases were way too large and fast. Couldn’t cope - back to GP and started on Cymbalta 30 and then 60mg. I saw a psychologist over many months and she encouraged me to investigate my sleepiness with a specialist and also to have an assessment for ADHD. In 2018 I did a number of sleep studies and was diagnosed with Idiopathic Hypersomnia; excessive daytime sleepiness despite fairly normal night time sleep.Sleep specialist prescribed Armodafinil 250mg daily - thankfully this keeps me awake. Psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD late 2018, age 46, and prescribed Vyvanse - This gave me mental clarity and optimism for better functioning in life. I couldn’t tolerate side effects and stopped after a few months. Also unable to tolerate Ritalin and Dexamfetamine. Devastated- after a brief glimpse at being able to organise and function well I had to stop the ADHD meds. Sleep Specialist doesn’t believe I have ADHD & that my executive function deficits stem from my sleep disorder. When I have raised the issue of long term antidepressant use as being the cause of my disorder, I get a blank stare and a recommendation to stay on the AD. Vyvanse gave me a very dry mouth, jaw clenching, mouth ulcers and a feeling of having burnt my tongue in a hot drink. The symptoms with my tongue in particular remained even after stopping Vyvanse. Oral specialist ruled out any issues. Nearly 5 years later I still have ‘burning mouth syndrome’. Some literature connects it to anxiety and also menopause. Oh yeah, menopause. ALL of my mental health struggles and symptoms have worsened with the hormonal upheaval. Pretty constant anxiety and very poor executive function. I discuss my depression and anxiety with my GP and they are very sympathetic. Suggested antipsychotics to get my anxiety under control. No thank you. I expressed concern that the long term AD use and daily anxiety is affecting my gastrointestinal health. She referred me for Gastroscopy & Colonoscopy, 2023. Colonoscopy all clear. Gastroscopy showed Telangiectasias in my upper stomach - like spider veins - with a ‘slow ooze’ of blood. No explanation of the cause Second gastroscopy was scheduled at a different clinic so they could treat the blood vessels - they use argon gas to seal off the bleeding - but this time the telangiectasias were not found. No explanation. My own theory is that the long term use of antidepressants is degrading my stomach (affecting so many systems in my body and brain) and that this mild bleeding happens sporadically and then resolves. I sometimes experience a bad taste in my mouth and wonder if it is from the blood. Blood test reveal low iron at times despite no dietary changes and no menstrual bleeding. Woah, this is turning into a long piece. I’m sure I could edit but I may never get it done and posted. I saw a different psychiatrist mid 2023. I was and am desperate to function better. The Psychiatrist didn’t recommend any of the non-stimulant ADHD meds, believing they could lead to adverse effects. Suggested I ask my Sleep specialist about increasing the Armodafinil to see if that helped. I increased by a half but it doesn’t help my executive functioning. Feb 2024 reduced Armodafinil from 375mg back to 250mg bc I was experiencing heart racing. That symptom has gone but I’m struggling with sleepiness during the day again. I guess my brain adapted to the higher dose. I’ve no way of proving my theories about the list of medical and psychological problems I have being linked to nearly 30 years of AD use. I want to get off Cymbalta. I have bought the Maudsley Deprescribing Guidelines. It’s going to be a very long road & I’m grateful for the SA resources and community.

Goodmorning all, Have been looking into this website for 5 years almost and i think it s time to write about me, since this community has been of great help. I have the following questions for who is willing to answer, i would appriciate it a lot. My Story: Always been very healthy and happy guy. In at 24 I move to a nordic european country, far north (on the artic circle )for studing. First year is the best year of my life in terms of mood and happiness, everything is great. Second year, winter is very dark and long (i am from a sunny place all year) and i feel the hit, social life is less due to very short days, and everything combined throw me into a depression. I have been given Escitalopram 20mg, and this was the worst mistake of my life that till that point has been happy and successful. This has literarly changed the course of my life. I get "better" if we can say so, and in 6 months doctor start the tapering. During these 6 months i experience brain zaps, vivid dreams, derealization but still everything is somehow tolerable and i go on to zero. 3 Months after hell brake lose. First i get extremely dizzy for 2 weeks, then total insomnia, and finally strong derealization and mind and thought out of control. I point out to the doctor that these sympotms is nothing like anythin i have experienced during the depression, but it s something completely different. Doctor doesnt agree, says I am still depressed and i start again with 10mg this time. With 2 weeks i get quite better and i am able to go back to work again. This scenario repeats 3 times during the years as you can see from my drug history. Still this thing never convince me, the symptoms i am experienceing are no the depression i had initially but something else regardless what the doctors say. A friend with exactly same problems previously than mine, point me out to the right direction. I start searching and find this website. Everything become clear immediately. I was right all along, and I have been poisoned for 10 years. Feeling of anger and frustration emerge, just for medical incompetence i went through a great deal of pain and had to quit jobs, been unable to feel real feeling etc..but finally i see a way out, at least a hope. I start tapering with the method described here, almost 5 years ago. During these 5 years i experienced windows and waves, as described, with time windows became longer and longer and waves smaller. In the entire 2023 very few waves, starting to have feeling again, i assume finally is over and can move on with my life. At this point i am taking just 0.08mg, and i probably could have gone to zero, but just still going small to be sure. Here comes the wrong decision. I think I am out of it, and I accept a long desired job in another country seduced by the very high salary. I am not married, so i leave my country, friends and move toward a very demanding job in a new life. 1 month into the new job, here comes again the old symptoms i did not experience with this full force since 5 years. This become quite bad again and i have to leave the job and go back home. I have not increased the dose , still hanging at 0.08mg, waiting for the symptoms to stabilize. This is my story till now. My questions are: - Even if the tapering has been quite ok for 5 years, is it possible that just a stressing event can throw the nervous system again out of balance? If so, can anyone estimate how many years the nervous system can take (if ever) to be able to handle any stress again? I am starting to realize that maybe I will be exposed for life to the danger of these symptoms to come back even after long the tapering is ended. - If tapering is over, since let s say 1 or 2 years and things are ok, and suddenly these symptoms come back due to a particular life stressing event, how to handle this? Start again with a smalll dose of the drug?!?!? Please tell me that it s not necessary. As i understand the we will be under this danger for long after tapering has ended - I have been diluiting the escitalopram (Etanol) into water. Was this correct? Just wondering if maybe that was the wrong procedure and the effect i have can be also linked to that. Thanks to all who will answer, hard moment, need some hope. My drug history Jan 2011-Jun 2011 20mg Escitalopram Jun 2011- Dec 2011 First attemp Tapering to zero, after 3 months in April crash down and start again 10 mg April 2012 - March 2015 - 10 mg March 2015 - August 2015 Second attemp to taper to zero, crash down. start again with 5 mg. Aug 2015 - Dec 2017 - 5 mg Jan 2018 - August 2018 third attempt tapering to zero, crash down. Start again with 5 mg Discovered this community and the right way of tapering August 2019 - April 2024 and started tapering 10% , now at 0.08 mg.

Hi Everyone, First of all I want to thank each person who will take the time to read my story and answer me This is my story and I could write a book.. I am a 33 years old French man I started PAROXETINE when I was 16 years old ( 18 years of treatment ) 2006 I Started PAROXETINE at 20mg by my family doctor following a huge panic attack triggered by a bad trip to Canabis (heavy consumption the same day) in high school, with a suddenly effects of DP/ DR tenfold, symptom accompanied by period of black out.. I was not a regular consumer just a young person with bad attendance and very impressionable who wanted to try. At this point I did not know what DPDR was and no doctor explained to me the why of the how. For me it was a reaction of cannabis. The years have passed I have not had any particular psychological or psychiatric follow-up. DPDR it is installed then it is attenuated until disappearing, I remember having occasional panic attacks that manifested by a DPDR and then went away.. Terrible teen that I was it was not my lesson, DPDR resurfaced on a Christmas night or I re-smoked cannabis with a bad trip that manifested as the first time with blackout periods The years have passed. I tried to stop treatment with my doctor several times. The instructions of my first weaning were to take 1 pills per day then every other day then every other day etc... The symptoms of physical withdrawal brain zap often made me stop attempts to stop treatment because unbearable with reintroduction of the dose at 20mg each time. I had to stay at least 8-10 years at 20mg I felt normal. 2015-2016 During these years I always wanted deep down to stop this treatment because I did not want to be dependent on a drug and for me everything was fine but I began to be afraid of the long-term effect on my memory, An example in a discussion with friends when I was asked, you remember when we did this on that day or you remember this movie… and I had trouble remembering each time… (I still have this problem to this day 18 years later) So I started looking on the internet for a way to stop this treatment that for me was the cause of this loss of memory and that would make me lose my mind in the long term.. I do not have a great memory but I found this forum in 2015 or I found info that explained that during a withdrawal it was especially important not to jump dose and that it was necessary to gradually decrease the doses by taking it all the days I started to cut the tablet from 20mg in 2 from 20mg to 10mg I stayed for a long time at month 2-3 years at this dose trying later to cut it again in 2 and passing to 5mg It should be noted that during all these years I have always been someone very anxious who constantly wonders about the why of the like, life, existence, a terrible anguish by death with occasional anxiety attack and panic attack that manifested through a DP/DR and then passed and I became normal again without being blocked in the DP/DR (I still don’t know what DP/DR was in those 2015-16 years) 2020 My wife gets pregnant, upheaval in our life, during pregnancy questions begin to settle, life, life existence, aging etc… We go on holiday in the USA in the family of my wife For 3 weeks I drink alcohol because the family there party and drink alcohol, almost every day, (but usually I do not drink alcohol I drink some beer from time to time but no more...) At this time (and even before these holidays ) I regularly drank lots of coffee like any normal person. Coffee has always tended to make my heart beat We come back from vacation the same evening I lie next to my wife and a big palpitation happen, I put the hand of my wife on my heart I’m afraid, I have the impression of having a heart attack, but it is a panic attack. I ended up falling asleep.. The next day, everything got weird I’m not myself the DPDR came back knocking and settles and gets worse by the day The loop settles, existential questions turn in loop, the birth of my future child, the fear of growing up, aging and death, it turns in loop, all the days. I’m not hungry anymore. This time it’s about I’m going crazy, I literally think I’m going schizophrenic. (I still don’t know what DPDR is at that time) I decide to make an appointment with a psychiatrist explaining the situation, at that time I was at 10mg PAROXETINE, he tells me that 10mg is not a therapeutic dose it is necessary to go up to 20mg to feel effects I go up to 20mg of PAROXETINE but nothing always passes this weird feeling of being foreign to myself. I take an other appointment with him and he tell me to go up to 40mg of PAROXETINE and prescribe TRANXENE(Clorazépate) to take punctually I try some day I take a TRANXENE my condition worsens.. I continue it’s even worse I decide to go down to 20mg of PARXOETINE it’s still not okay but I continue and stabilize to 20mg of PAROXETINE I am afraid, I take refuge on the internet, what happens to me? I search : "Weird sensation of not being yourself" I discover the word Depersonalization and Déréalization DP/DR I search and search and read lots of forums in French, English, YouTube etc… , I’m a little reassured because I’m not alone in having this but I’m still with this DP/DR symptoms I come across a video the guy explains that : "it’s a weird sensation, its strange but not dangerous… quick tips put sunglasses!" , I do it immediately it calms down a little and I come across a site that catches my attention: "the guide to overcome dpdr" of Shaun O Connor I read it and learn what is really the DPDR, its a symptom of Aniety, then i applied to the letter the steps of the guide. Time passes I get back to the gym, I discover breathing, cardiac coherence, I go see a Psychologist expert in EFT technique to manage my emotions, DP/DR still does not pass I continue to look, I go to see a neuropsychologist I make a brain x-ray for me I have a tumor but results... no, nothing i am normal. The sessions pass, I hang up during this period to snort a paper soaked with lavender because I read that it calms the stress, my state improves only a little I hold the blow, I occupy my mind, I work, my daughter is finally born, I listen to music all day, music is my life. I’m a drummer. I put into practice what I learn in the guide! I stop eating too much candy of all kinds during this period and especially I stop coffee because I learn that it triggers anxiety in my case, I tell myself that’s it, I drink up to 4-5 coffee a day, I put my finger on the cause I drink too much coffee and too much caffeine = palpitation = it triggers my screams of anxiety why I didn’t think about it earlier… For me I found the solution: I stop coffee = I wouldn’t have panic attacks I stop my antidepressant = I am cured no more memory problem. Life goes on DPRDR fades and DPDR disappears without I really realize when 2021 My daughter grew up, she is already 1 year old and I no longer have an anxiety attack, I really feel normal The Covid lockdown is coming and I stay at home I see my daughter growing, stressed of this strange period but no anxiety attack, because for me I put my finger on the problem, no more panic attack as long as I will not drink coffee I will not have any anxiety attack. I start to look to now deal with this PAROXETINE treatment. I read and read on the internet I learn that PAROXETINE has a very short half-life that must be reduced by 10% increments otherwise the side effects happen very quickly. I learn that PAROXETINE exists in liquid version so i begin it. 2022-2023 I do an excel sheet with calculations and final dates, end of year I am free of this poison that for me makes me lose memory and that is finally can be also potentially trigger Anxiety DP/DR I start the liquid version I go down from 20mg to 10mg of PAROXETINE, everything is fine I stabilize at 10mg and I continue by lowering 1mg by 1mg Every month so : 9mg - 8mg -7mg - 6mg...until 0 I arrive at 2 mg of PAROXETINE i do not have any withdrawal symptom but onyl light brain zap, but problem, the bottle is empty I go to the pharmacy as usual to take my treatment but the pharmacist told me that the liquid version is stopped in France for an indeterminate duration.. I drive until 2 hours to take the last stock of pharmacies nearby I go down to 1.5mg of PAROXETINE, I’m almost there, I’m at the end but I have no more PAROXETINE in the bottle... what do I do? I go on internet I search that I could make switches on PROZAC/FLUOXETINE which is also in liquid. I don’t have time, I don’t have anything left in the bottle just enough to switch gradually to PROZAC. I change my excel table with the dose and date calculation for the switch and let’s go. Meanwhile I move, I buy a house and begins heavy renovation work, lots of stress.. I debute a cross switch I lower the PAROXETINE : 1,5mg - 1 - 0,5 - 0 and rise to 5mg of PROZAC and stabilize during 4 week of PROZAC Brain zaps are hard but I’m finally going to be free… I’m holding on I’m almost there.. The days pass and suddenly DPDR arrives from nowhere and settles down and no longer me, what happens to me I thought I was done? I don’t drink coffee anymore how is that possible? This time it’s the right one my brain is screwed. My condition degrades very quickly I put my sunglasses I take out my lavender paper back.. The loop resets day after day with the fear of being afraid… , severe depression, severe anxiety, morning diarrhea, awakening with palpitation great sadness, uncontrolled crying, impulse phobia I am afraid of hurting myself I am afraid of committing suicide, I’m doing work in the bathroom upstairs I look at the window I’m afraid of losing control and jumping.. MARCH 2023 I can’t stay like this… I have a home business if I don’t work I don’t make money… I take refuge on the internet and I search: Best psychiatrist DP/DR specialist I search and I search I find a 400km a specialized hospital that speaks of DPDR the psychiatrist seems to know what she speaks and recognized in the environment I take appointment I melt in tears I’m at the bottom of the hole.. She told me that the dose are too low and prescribed me 20mg of PROZAC and ATARAX(Hydroxyzine) to take punctually 2 weeks pass I retake an appointment with her it goes very slightly better so I continue at 20mg 4 weeks pass it worse, I have the impression that the PROZAC is too strong and it is what induces and persists DP/DR I ask him to lower to 10mg I ask her if she knows a therapist because I would like to take things in hand and start a CBT , She gives me the name of a colleague she works with I take 1 session then 2,3,4 until 8, i hang on that, I speak to her, it does me good I wait for each session as a deliverance, It costs me a lot of money but I have no choice. At the same time the DPDR persists I am still not myself sudden mood changes, sudden big sadness, uncontrolled crying, morning diarrhea, my libido collapses.. My wife is aware of my PAROXETINE treatment we have been together for 18 years , she has always suffered my mood change and do not understand I look good outside... but I in my head it is hell She often asks me "what you look like you’re depressed ?" My 3-year-old daughter also often asks me: "Dad, why are you making that face" , "Dad, why are you sad?" I’m having a hard time playing and taking care of her.. My anxiety is too present it always turns in loop in my head. All awakenings are accompanied with palpitations and a new symptoms in the morning of the awakening are random words and phrases that pass at full speed in my head like when you have a music stuck in your head What happens to me? I go crazy ? I have random words in my head i talk to myself ? this time it’s sure for me I am becoming schizophrenic... (but my Psychiatrist told me : I promise you are not schizophrenic, its all about anxiety..) SEPTEMBER 2023 4 months pass the sessions of CBT help me a little, I space the sessions them more and more because too expensive, the DPDR is always present for me I am still not normal I am always disconnected I continue to occupy my mind every minute, I continue the renovation of my house all the days even the week-end, first minute of each day I put my earphones I have to occupy my mind, I listen to podcasts until the evening everything is good so that I avoid thinking about DP/DR and looping on the existential thoughts it tired me but I have no other solution.. OCTOBER 2023 A rather exceptional event manifests itself on a Sunday, by sudden brain zap, vertigo.. , I wonder what happens to me, big palpitation I have the impression that I will have a heart attack, I am at 2 finger to call the emergency, I decide to go to the "Emergency Pharmacy" because all our pharmacy are closed on Sunday in France, I take my prescription with me, I tell myself that the box of prozac has a defect and that suddenly I have brain zap I do not understand.. To my surprise and as the pharmacist informs me: "Sir it’s normal, have a look, they were wrong at your last prescription, they gave you PAROXETINE instead of PROZAC, I look at the prescription and it is well marked : PAROXETINE delivery. I cry, its a nightmare.. Its actually been 1 month that I had switch without knowing 10mg of PROZAC to 10mg of PAROXETINE. Unfortunately, I did not notice this mistake cause I usually put the box of medicine in my bag by taking it in the morning in a hurry before work without my daughter seeing me take it, I did not check the box, it has become so automatic... I blamed myself terribly, what a nightmare, the last switch PAROXETINE —> PROZAC had been so hard and horrible that I had gone back to square one… 1ST DECEMBER 2023 My condition is horrible, my brother-in-law’s father died suddenly, I put myself in his place , its loop in my head, I’m afraid, I cry, I transpose all the faces of my family on the body, I decide to go back to 20mg of PROZAC I have no other solution on hand.. The next day on December 2nd it is already better, i am quite surprised because the PROZAC has a very long half life.. 14 DECEMBER 2023 Debut of new unpleasant symptom random tingling sensation throughout the body, adrenaline discharge sensation with sudden tingling, I become very sensitive to the slightest sound , TV, light, it triggers me this weird symptoms 16 December 20233 I go from 20mg to 10mg of PROZAC to try to alleviate the new symptoms because for me the PROZAC does not suit me or the dose is not good, (for me the PROZAC was always something that did not suit me and made me feel weird) i don't know.. 2024 So actually, 2 months later, I am still at 10 mg of PROZAC, I decided to stabilize myself at this dose even if i am not feeling normal, cause as you can see there were a lot of changes in the dose of PROZAC. I still do not feel myself, always this feeling of DR of unreality of the world, depression, with moments where my face freezes without emotion… and loss/supression of my libido like I’ve never had. I don’t know what’s happening to me. According to my research on the forum and the article of Altostrata on PUBMED I explain what happened to me with the sudden arrival of a big anxiety and DP/ DR during the switch last year is that I was in the post withdrawal phase of PAROXETINE and that the sudden loss of libido would be PSSD ?, I am not yet very familiar with all these terms but I think I put my finger on the why of the how, tell me if I am wrong. My current dilemma: Is it better not to be dependent and not to take an antidepressant but to risk being bad and "look like sh*t" all my life with this depression, DP/DR or is it better to take an antidepressant (PAROXETINE) all my life but to feel good. I am currently thinking of 2 solutions because I want to get out of it, 1) Doing a gradual withdrawal of PROZAC knowing that I am stabilizing at 10mg, and try to live without antidepressant (I do not know what it is to live without this antidepressant I do not remember because I started it when I was 16) OR 2) Take the PAROXETINE back to 10mg and take it all my life, because it is very hard stopped with its very short half-life. In fact i think, i am not a specialist but its easier to stop a long half life antidepressant than a short half life one. I ask to you all, because my psychiatrist clearly told me that PAROXETINE was not possible that it was not a stable molecule and that if we had to change antidepressant we would go from PROZAC to SERTRALINE Please, I am very lost and look for any help, Thanks again for everyone who came this far Have an excellent day

I'm so happy to have found this group through a link on the UK MIND website. This is my story so far. After a few years of poor sleep leading to debilitating anxiety, at the beginning of 2000 my GP prescribed me Seroxat (Paxil) and Zopiclone 3.75mg (Lunesta). I was in such a state and so relieved to have been helped, that I took Zopiclone every night along with the Seroxat as instructed.. for six years. In the first year I gained 4 stone (56 pounds) in weight but otherwise felt well. In 2006 I went on holiday and forgot to take my Seroxat with me. Three days later it didn't occur to me that the reason I thought I was dying was my forgotten meds, but I then realised and obtained an emergency supply. This incident frightened me and as I felt well and was sleeping, I decided to stop taking Seroxat. My GP told me to 'do it gradually' over a two-week period. After starting to feel unwell having halved my dose (can't remember what I was on but it wasn't the highest or the lowest) I googled and discovered tapering. With the help of a wonderful online support group I used liquid Seroxat (the GP didn't know it was a thing) and having nevertheless been through appalling withdrawal over 18 months, I was free of it. Even having tapered by a droplet every two weeks, the withdrawal was intolerable. I lost 18 months of my life doing little else but lie on a sofa. In 2007 I presented myself, a weeping mess, at the GP's again and was offered Trimipramine, a sedating tricyclic AD (proprietary name then was Surmontil). Trimipramine was actually the answer to my prayers. It knocked me out for twelve hours at a stretch. I slept, but it dulled my mind and gave me heart arrhythmia which caused me to start a tapered withdrawal in 2017. It was going reasonably well until a GP I had never met rang me to say I had to stop taking the drug immediately as the price had sky-rocketed and the NHS could no longer prescribe it. My taper turned into a glorified cold turkey and I had every withdrawal symptom possible. My Zopiclone dose was doubled to 7.5mg and after 4 weeks I was back at the surgery, seeing a fourth different GP, who was adamant that what I needed was Mirtazapine (in spite of my protestations about its reputation for weight gain). I only took it for two weeks, I really wasn't invested in it and although I didn't really give it a fair chance, it was no help. I decided to see a psychiatrist in March 2018, who put me on Amitiyptilyne (Elavil), the thinking being that as a tricyclic had already helped me, this drug might get me out of crisis. I went from 25-75mg in a week. It didn't help my sleep or anxiety and gave me bladder issues, mainly false urinary urgency, which made my anxiety go through the roof and put a complete end to any hope of sleeping. I then did a quick cross-taper onto Escitalopram (Lexapro) going up from 2.5mg to 15mg in the three months to June 2018. Escitalopram was just wrong for me and my chronic insomnia. It was extremely stimulating, I was wired 24/7, I had tinnitus, ear and sinus pain, mania, twitching muscles, popping ears, panic, to name but a few. I did a quick cross-taper onto Venlafaxine (Effexor) 37.5mg, increasing after a week to 75mg. This drug was also stimulating. The bladder issues had gone after three months on Escitalopram, but Venlafaxine also gave me the jitters, the ENT symptoms and I couldn't sleep. I added Melatonin and CBD oil into the mix. The side-effects just worsened, I had stomach pain, digestive issues, acid reflux and my head was a sleep-deprived mess. I decided enough was enough and tapered off Venlafaxine, by myself, between September 2020 and 12 August 2022 when I took my last sliver of tablet. So I'm just approaching one year of being AD-free. I still take 7.5mg of Zopiclone nightly, but suffer from appalling insomnia and my quality of life is much-diminished from what it could be. I use CBD oil sometimes at night, melatonin, valerian. I practise slow breathing, I have had CBT and CBTi. I did a course on Vedic meditation which has helped somewhat, but I typically have 5/6 hours' sleep a night, I cry, I panic and I despair. I avoid socialising and going away from home: my sleeping is scant in my own bed, elsewhere it is an anxiety-ridden struggle. I wish that back in 2000, I had been offered CBT rather than pills, and that I could have been encouraged to use Zopiclone sparingly, occasionally. I'll never know if that could have been enough. Thank you so much if you've got to the end of this long initial post. I was planning to be brief.. I spent this morning dipping in and out of threads and have already found much to encourage and comfort.

Hi all, First off, I'd like to say how much I appreciate this forum -- reading everyone's posts had made me feel a little less alone in dealing with this mess. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you. I am currently experiencing what I now have deduced is protracted withdrawal syndrome from Lamictal, and I am at my wits' end trying to figure out how to solve this. The emotional and mental pain is unbearable; I am terrified I'll never recover, as I'm sure you can all understand. I have no idea what steps to take next, so I thought I would turn to this community for help. My story (apologies for the wall of text!): I started taking Lamictal in 2015 and quickly got up to 150 mg. I experienced few side effects, and I took it for years without issue. In February of this year, I started having problems with recalling words and expressions (aphasia); I also tended to lose track of my thoughts and in general had a hard time communicating. At the time I thought these symptoms were due to the Lamictal, since I know they are listed as possible side effects. However, in retrospect they must have been due to the Klonopin that I was taking for anxiety. I didn't connect the two together, though, since I was only taking the Klonopin as needed (maybe 3 times per week), and only ever a quarter of a 0.25 mg pill at a time (smallest possible dose). In March, I decided to stop taking birth control pills, since the hormones were turning my curly hair straight. I decided to taper off of the Lamictal in early April. I went down 25 mg every 3 weeks. In May I realized that the aphasia and other symptoms were most likely caused by the Klonopin, so I stopped taking it. As I went through the Lamictal tapering process, my anxiety skyrocketed -- I was waking up in a cold sweat every morning, experiencing multiple panic attacks every day, etc. I never realized this was a withdrawal symptom and just assumed it was due to either a) general stress from work/life or b) mood swings from my hormone changes from stopping the birth control. On top of that, once I got down to 50 mg in July, I started noticing some brain fog and issues with my memory and concentration. I assumed theses were side effect of Lamictal, and it only reinforced my desire to completely go off. I (stupidly) decided to just spend 2 weeks at 50 mg, 1 week at 25 mg, and then go completely off. I got down to 0 mg in mid-July. At that point, I knew I had made a grave mistake -- the brain fog was debilitating; I couldn't think straight, and my previously fantastic memory was reduced to that of a gold fish. I was also struggling to deal with the anxiety, which was at an all-time high. I decided to go back up to 25 mg after only 3 days of being off. Going back up did not help, but I was too scared to make additional changes. In mid-August, approximately a month after reinstating, I had some champagne with a friend. The next day, I noticed that the anxiety was gone, but that other symptoms had taken its place: tinnitus, photophobia (light sensitivity), and palinopsia (persistent afterimages). I freaked out, and that night I decided to increase the Lamictal to 50 mg. A few days after increasing to 50 mg, I noticed more symptoms: depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR) and TMJ. In early September, after waiting 2 weeks, I decided to go back down to 37.5 mg in hopes of reducing these symptoms. The TMJ improved but the DP/DR did not. I've now been on 37.5 mg of Lamictal for the past 6 weeks, and none of the symptoms have eased up. I currently experience the following on a daily basis: aphasia and difficulties expressing myself (never improved after going off the Klonopin), , difficulties with executive functioning (making decisions, organizing, planning, taking in information, etc.), general confusion/disorientation, DP/DR, tinnitus, photophobia, palinopsia, insomnia, and severe depression / suicidal ideations. I'm at a loss for how to proceed -- should I try increasing the Lamictal again, assuming my issues are from withdrawing too quickly? Decrease it, assuming they're from reinstating? Wait some more at this current dose? Try something else? I've seen multiple psychiatrists and neurologists to help me figure this out; one suggested Cymbalta to address the depression and brain fog (apparently at higher dose it has positive cognitive effects), and another suggested Galantamine to help with the deficits in executive functioning. My fear is that these medications will exacerbate all of my other symptoms. What do you all think? Thank you so much for reading my post and for helping me through this. Emma

Hi I'm 37, I had anxiety disorders and depression all my life. I was put on medication fast, probably way too fast. I've been convinced that my condition was needing them and I believed it was impossible to live normally without. I'm hyper sensitive to medication so I was not able to bear most of antidepressants. Zoloft was the easiest, but has its list of horrible side effects too, mainly excessive and violent sweating for little moves like even grating cheese and accompanied with itching and unable to stand heat in general. Emotions are neutralized, as well as happiness and interests, mostly living like a vegetable. With time my anxiety changed when I tried to stop zoloft, weird new manifestations appeared and I was told that's it's from me, not from medication. With time I suspected more and more zoloft to have caused new issues that I would never have before. I'm doing a second "serious" withdrawal, I got 0mg from May 2018 and I've pretty crazy anxiety but not all the time, all the weird symptoms developed in time are back, and I can see that zoloft body changes are still not reverted back to my natural self because of restless leg syndrome that I only get during withdrawals and I have abnormal too sensitive feelings like crying very easily. Since I left zoloft, I lost my overweight (220 pounds to 180 pounds and still dropping), I'm healthy aside those issues, I move freely and lightly, I got all my feelings back with new interests, like if I'm being reborn. I can't even seriously say if medication really helped me of all my life, maybe somehow, but I suspect more to have worsened everything by creating new issues that sleep until I try to stop zoloft. Then it's the infinite loop: returning on it because of all the issues, taken by doctors for my natural self being sick. Then later I want to get rid of it again, and the thing restart. I had only panic attacks when I started antidepressants at 17 years old. I had nothing of all the stuff that was added with years. I also was not with hypersensitive feelings. I could probably have developed non-med ways to cope and I would never have anything worse. Now added to panic attacks I had strong adrenaline looping rushes in bed, I got morning fears that don't seem associated to any precise thoughts, and instant panic with thoughts popping during the day that should not trigger anything. I've been told that with that, an antidepressant alone would not work, that I need an antipsychotic too, and both. That's why I'm also on seroquel XR. I had to leave my job because it was already a very high stress life there and addition of everything was pure hell. I'm free of zoloft for 8 months, compared to 2 months the more I was able to endure and I was even not working at this time. I know that almost all symptoms will disappear if I take it again, and all the side effects will also be back with it. It will falsely thought to heal me when most of what is happening is because of a long-term body changes that zoloft installed with time. This is what I think. It's like not being hypersensitive to feelings at all before to try any, take one, stop it and being hypersensitive and say "it's because you stopped it so take it back you need it". I think doctors are totally blind to this hypothesis despite the fact that they may really want to help. It can surely be hard to prove, especially if I cannot bear to live like this long enough to the point I restart taking the drug. But some proof is there. Restless leg syndrome is only when I tapered zoloft, all the times I tried it was there and only at this time. If it still happens randomly after 8 months, it proves that my body is still affected by zoloft in a way or another. I'm 37 and I want to take control of my life fully, and living disabled for the time it needs may be my only chance to get this freedom, but I just don't know the truth myself. Maybe it will take a year for symptoms to disappear, maybe more, maybe never, maybe I've been broken and there is nothing to do but take meds all my life, which will give a horrible life on another level. I'm here to discover what others experienced, find similarities, some truth and at least if I must go through this hell, I will have some hope and real examples that waiting a certain time could free me too, forever of antidepressants. I don't seek someone deciding for me, I seek real people experience to see the real whole picture and decide myself.

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Hi everybody, My names David and from Sunderland U.K I have been on Anti Depressants since 2001, I initially went to the doctor feeling low on a dark January afternoon I was having trouble with a girlfriend and was unemployed. He gave me these tablets and honestly thought I would pop them and 2 weeks later << that was the literally in the info at the time I would be back dancing so to speak. As everybody here now knows that was so far from the truth it was unreal, I had panic attacks, Suicidal thoughts, My Penis disappeared and my groin hurt. I was scared to go out the house. Naturally I rushed back to the doctors and he told my these were possible side effects << hardly no side effects in the 2001 anti depressant leaflets, How times have changed. I did level out and my mood was better after about 2 month but that level was a form of numbness, No emotions and No sex drive, Both have drove my insane ever since. I then was told I need to get out more and find a job to help me feel better and help lift my mood. I was 22 at the time so I had all my friends that I grow up with or went to school with Playing football a few nights a week and going for a few pints and a game of pool on a weekend. The Numbness was holding my back though as is life friends then started to get girlfriends and moving on with their life, I did not. I'm explaining all this because I have since day 1 of the anti depressant which ever brand I have had felt *Depersonalised* < a term I now know. I was not interested in women because I was scared they would leave me as soon they found out I had no sex drive and little emotions Then thats when the Anti Depressant loop started!!! I read as much as I could at that time apparently you took them for 6 weeks and then if you were better and you come off them... NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!! I always consulted my doctor, I remember him telling me he did't take people off them at Christmas (Short dark days in the uk at that time) 1 time I went to the doctors and told him I felt good I had a job at the time early 20s wanting to get on with my life. he said i'm fine with you feeling better, Just stop taking them!! << I kid you not. As everybody knows in the forum I then went COLD TURKEY!! That was my first experience of the term I know now as withdrawal syndrome. Naturally I ran back down the doctors a week or 2 later and was then put back on the medication That literally been the story of my life ever since, personally any effect the tablet has is far outweighed by the side effects. I ballooned up to 17 stone at 1 point, Walked out of a job I had when I went through a period of my life when I was always on the sick for about 18 months << I thought it was the job, I was a van driver but between 2009 and 2010 as you can see by my medication signature the doctor literally kept changing my tablets and I was sent to a psychiatrist all that Dr did was up my dose. I was numb and suicidal for a year I think, it was the worst period of my life. I wined myself of Venlafaxine I knew it wasn't doing ANYTHING for me but the doctor was adamant something would change. I then went to to the doctors on an emergency appointment and he was completely pissed with me. I was then put on Sertraline in 2011 and told myself no matter the side effects and going to change my life. Get a job, lose weight, have some money get out of my parents house and most of all find a partner. I lost my Best mate/Brother in 2015 which has had a huge effect on my life, I was actually tapering off at that time << I would of crashed I didn't know what I was doing. with the passing of my mate I upped the tablets to 75mg I think and drank heavily for about 2 years. Then I hit a turning point of I cannot go on like this i'm killing myself, My mate (which only lived 5 doors away from me my whole life) passed away and other friends I grew up with now married off or working away all the time I was left isolated. I have friends but I don't interact with them like I did with my mate that passed away. I had a Job, Lost 2 stone felt good about myself even if I was still at my parents (who I love dearly) I thought maybes it time to come off these tablets once and for all and then get myself on a dating site and see what the future holds. So last September I thought to myself maybe's it time to do it properly (I tried coming off them in 2018 small taper didn't work usual brick wall back on the medication 2 months off work) I was taking 50mg. My 10 year repeat prescription was 100mg but I was too numb on that dose. I didn't consult my doctor with it being in the middle of the pandemic < I worked all the way through. I went from 50 to 35 I think for about 4 weeks then to 25 for over Christmas << the numbness started to go and clarity coming back I started to feel better about myself thinking of the future. Then I halved to 12.5 I think for a month then halved again a month later Everything was fine I thought. I was quite irritable and I had a problem with a manger at work and he started to live in my head I just thought it was the medications leaving my system and would turn the corner. A good friend of mine offered my a job in the same industry and I took it was my mood went sky high that was 6 weeks ago. Then the anxiety started. I was having Road rage constantly << in my head. then the paranoid thoughts kick in. then last week the suicidal thoughts I started counselling and hypnotherapy treatment 3 weeks ago hoping to get over this bump, But once the suicidal thoughts kicked in I phoned my doctor up and guess what ? He advised me to go back on the medication which I did as the thought of Suicide were so real. I had a session with the counsellor on Saturday she said she could have calmed me down! I am now on day 4 of 25mg Sertraline having just phoned in sick from work in my new job (My mate was completely fine to be honest, told me take my time and get better) going through the sick effect phase AGAIN I have never searched about this subject before till Friday I did not know why I hadn't looked into it before I apologise for the long explanation but that is basically the last 20 years of my life and probably the rest of my life! I do live in hope David

Hi - long story as short as possible (been on ADs for nearly 30 years). I am 58 and been on Anti Depressants since 1998 with only one or two short breaks in that time. Clinical depression with anxiety coming into the mix perhaps 10-15 years ago. Three major depression episodes spread over that time that required time off work, daytime hospitalisation/treatment once. Currently reasonably stable taking 5mg per day of Escitalopram and have been for a few years but anxiety still present in mornings but daily cold water swimming helps with that a lot. Medication History 1998 - tried Sertraline and Paroxatine but in the most effective was Citalopram initially at 10-20mg per day. 2009 Citalopram does slowing increased to 60mg as it was being less effective even when adding Duloxetine, risperidone and pregabalin Feb 2010 Moved on to Venlafaxine/Risperidone/Buspirone Sep 2010 Tried adding Lithium for a while but not much worked. Oct 2010 Venlafaxine (75mg increasing to 150mg and eventually 225mg), Abilify (Aripiprazole), Risperidone (1mg or 0.5mg) Nov 2010 Venlafaxine & Seroquel (quetiapine) Nov 2010 Hospitalised for day care with bad stress/depression (just for a week) Dec-Mar 2010/2011 Venlafaxine 225mg & Seroquel 25mg increasing to 50mg and then 100mg and finally 200mg of XL version (quetiapine) and Stilnoct (10mg) for sleep as required. June 2011 Venlafaxine 225mg and reduced then removed Seroquel Stable and then in Oct 2016 to Mar 2017 slow taper off of Venlafaxine (felt better and did not like side effects, profuse sweating was main one, weight gain). Occasional use of Zolpidem for sleep (only a few times a month). May 2017 - after being off Venlafaxine for a month or two anxiety was intolerable (was having therapy sessions during this time). Depression started to return so prescribed Escitalopram 5mg increasing to 10mg After about 12 days started to feel better increased Escitalopram dose to 15mg and then 20mg and June 2017 added in Lyrica (pregabalin) 75mg 3 times a day (to try to help with anxiety). Early 2023-Oct 2023 - slowish taper and stop (detail below) and then after 3 weeks of nothing horrible withdrawal so went back to 5mg per day to rethink the plan!!! Stable for last 4 or 5 years on 5mg of Escitalopram and wanted to try to come off it. Took about 6-9 months of slow reductions (Jan to Sep 2023 approx) but only by cutting 5mg tablets in half and alternating doses by day (5/2.5mg etc), then just 2.5mg and then alternate days @2.5mg etc and then nothing! I moved onto a further reduction once I felt fine on the lower dose for 3-4 weeks at least. I thought this was slow enough and with 5mg tablets the smallest we can get here in the UK there is not that much I can do to get less than 2.5mg (though happy to try to make solution). By September 2023, once I was on nothing I felt fine for about 3-4 weeks and then quite suddenly got a load of withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, confusion, palpitations, panic etc), did not want to put up with it so went back to 5mg per day of Escitalopram. That very quickly (within a day or so) made me feel better again. Having read this site, I clearly realise my taper had to be MUCH slower/smaller does at the end and the symptoms I felt once off it was withdrawal and not really depression (though they have some similarities). This week I asked my GP for liquid escitalopram so I could taper more slowly and he said he cannot prescribe it on NHS and I would have to go private (so need to see a psychiatrist etc first) or be referred to psychiatrist on NHS (which he has done but could take 6-9 months to hear back). Even though I explained I would be stuck on the medication for ever if they did not give the liquid they cannot do it as they claim it is too expensive (even though I would be taking a micro dose as they only supply 20mg per ML liquid here). My plan right now is to perhaps try to taper slowly whilst I wait for the NHS appointment hopefully later this year and then I will be ready to go really low once I have the liquid. WHAT HELP DO I NEED? Is there a way to taper Escitalopram when you can only get 5mg tablets (can I make my own solution? does cutting them in quarters work? etc) I am quite worried that even with a slow taper I could have to put up with withdrawal symptoms for many, many months and even years. Is it really worth it if I am not suffering that much being on the medication? (and considering my age @59) Is there anything else I can do to minimise withdrawal when it does hit? What else have I missed? Hope this gives enough information for someone to assist. Thanks, MrFrisbee. (PS: Signature coming right after this is posted!)

Hey everyone, I'm John. this is my journal of tapering off of 450mg of Wellbutrin. I spent several years tapering off of Effexor, which was a real struggle, quite honestly. I've been left with just 450mg of the Wellbutrin for the last few years, and decided after a lot of intensive therapy that I wanted to try and reduce. Going from 450 to 400 was bumpy but manageable. Then, after doing some research on this website, I decided to switch from XR to SR, and thought I could do another 50mg drop, you know, just ride it out. Uhhhh...not so fast! I couldn't do it. I know something about tapering, and a 50 mg drop turned out to be way too much. I tried breaking up the SR pill into pieces. I knew the medicine wasn't distributed evenly in the tablet, but thought it wouldn't be a big deal. I was wrong about that, too. So I went back to my understanding doctor and asked for 75mg tablets of immediate release, and then made a liquid using instructions I found here. Now I'm on a 200SR in the morning, plus 10mg of liquid, plus a 150mg SR in the evening. I've been doing that for around 3 days and I find myself having some slight brain zaps when I'm tired, but overall very, very mild withdrawal symptoms compared to before I started using the liquid. I think the switch to liquid has reduced by about 5mg. I'm excited to see what happens when I reduce by 5 mg of the liquid, precisely measured. I'm optomistic that I will have more mild side effects that I can tolerate. Before I started the liquid wellbutrin, I was stumped. I really thought I met my match and wasn't going to be able to reduce again due to unpleasant symptoms. Effexor was very difficult to reduce off of, but I thought Wellbutrin would be easy in comparison, and that hasn't been the case at all. Like people say around here, slow and steady! If I can reduce 5 or 10 mg per week, that'll work out to approximately 10% a month , which would be fantastic, if I can do it and keep my quality of life. I want to do this and be comfortable. Looking forward to seeing how the next reduction goes!

So I was first put on sertraline (an SSRI) when I was 10 years old. From when I was put on the medication, whenever I would have a strong relapse in symptoms, the most common response of my psychiatrist would be to increase my dose. When I was about 23 I was also put on propranolol (a beta-blocker). I'm now 34. Currently, my mental health is ok, but for a very long time I've suffered from a bunch of related symptoms: - Inability to sleep - Extreme difficulty getting up in the morning - Fatigue - Unexplained chronic pain These come and go and occur along with anxiety and low-level depression which the medications are supposed to treat. Doctors haven't been able to identify a cause, and they don't really respond to the standard things people recommend to help treating these symptoms (e.g. eating healthy, etc). Taken as a whole they can make it very difficult to make improvements in my life. I'd like to come off the medications because I think that the symptoms listed above (not the depression and anxiety) might be caused or exacerbated by my medication. But the trouble is, I've been on the medications so long I don't really have any idea if the symptoms I have experienced really are being caused or exacerbated by the medications. I managed to reduce my sertraline dosage from 200 to 100mg and I couldn't notice a change in these symptoms, which indicates that maybe they are completely unrelated to my medications And the severe episodes of anxiety and related symptoms I have experienced have been a living hell. If coming off the medication results in a return of that then I don't want to do it and will end up really regretting it. So I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.

I have been on Paxil close to 20 years now mostly at 20mgs, I believe at one point as high as 40mgs. I tried a few times to get off over the years but side effects were too much. Around 5 years ago starting scaling dose. I originally went on because I was having major issues giving speeches in front of the class at college. I would completely freeze. After college I stayed on because I liked that they made me calmer and I wasn't over thinking things so much and thinking about all the ways things could go wrong. Five years ago I started having panic attacks out of nowhere. Having never experienced before I was in denial for a good 8 months about what was going on. Since then a few times a year will go through these bouts of panic and severe anxiety. I had to cut out all stimulants / caffeine as they are a major trigger. Not sure if there is a correlation between scaling down and panic attacks. This last time I was down to less then 2.5mgs (around 1.5mgs) per day. I was cutting a 10mgs pill in 1/4s and then just snapping off a piece of that daily. In November 2020 the panic attacks came back with the bad anxiety. I went back to 2.5mgs first, and was still experiencing so over last few weeks went back up to 5mgs. Its hard to see how I can ever get off of this and live a normal life (how I feel right now). Would love some feedback on how to get off of these for good.

Diagnosed with panic and adjustment disorder 1987. Experienced 3 situational depressions (1 was postpartum). SSRI for 30 yrs. Just RI Lexapro to 5 mg after a failed 4 day discontinuation from 2.5 mg. Seems to be helping in waves and windows. Dr appointment next month but he has told me that if I stop Lexapro, protracted w/d possible with treatment resistant depression surfacing. Advises that I should consider staying on for life. I am afraid of both staying on and discontinuing. I've read about severe, untreatable akathisia, protracted w/d and all other horror stories. I am worried that one or two months out from discontinuing, symptoms will return that can't be treated. 1. Will a gradual slow microtaper from 5 mg. (after stabilization) prevent a protracted w/d? 2. What if I experience another situational depression, how to treat it then? 3. What are risks of staying on a low dose SSRI 2.5 or under? 4. Is that better than risking protracted and untreatable w/d? Last situational depression 8 yrs ago, Dr switched SSRIs and now I realize what I went through was was w/d on top of the depression. Had to rely on Lorazepam for 3 months and did a gradual successful taper off. I believe I was very fortunate given the horrific Benzo stories.I cannot fathom relying on Benzos again and would rather stay on Lexapro low dose than risk benzo dependence. I would appreciate thoughts on the above. Thank you!

I have a long history of anxiety, was on chlorpromazine and diazepam as a teenager; I'm now 67. Developed OCD in 1970s. Drug-free till 1990s. Developed CFS in 1986, OCD worsened and developed depression over the next 5 years. Prozac from 1991 till 1994, helped to some extent, then OCD worsened again. Switched to dosulepin in 1994, then to clomipramine on the advice of a clinical psychologist in July 1994. Helped a little with the OCD, but to everyone's surprise helped a lot with the CFS. Have been on clomipramine since then, doses from 25 to 125 mg - mostly between 50 and 100mg. The OCD resolved in 1997 after various non-drug therapies, but have continued with the clomipramine because it helped the CFS - usually a dose increase would help after a setback. Since about 2005 the doses my GP allowed did not help the CFS.....tried citalopram in 2007, no better and had a nasty reaction 4 weeks after stopping the clomipramine/starting citalopram - extreme anxiety and uncontrollable shaking. At the time, scared it might be serotonin syndrome - the citalopram had just started to "kick in" - but maybe it was clomipramine withdrawal. Tried dosulepin again in mid 2007 - that made me anxious and did not help the CFS, so switched back to clomipramine. I would like to reduce it.....currently having supply problems in the UK as some manufacturers have stopped producing it, and the constipation is really getting me down. I'm currently on 50mg/day, but my GP and I are talking about reducing it....not sure it's helping any more (the CFS is greatly improved these days, irrespective of clomipramine dose), and would like to find out if I can cope without it.