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Hello and nice to meet everyone. I have been reading as much as I can the past two days and feel like it is time to introduce myself. THANK YOU for everything you all have contributed, this site is a game changer. So many questions answered and a new journey begins. You can see my drug history and four month taper in my signature over the spring/summer (my psychiatrist at the time recommended two weeks, go figure). I had planned on a few crappy months going into this. Oh if I had only found this site first... Withdrawal didn’t kick in for at least two weeks, and slowly at first. I spent all of September and October dodging and weaving through good days and bad days, which I observed simply as “anxiety” (my original diagnosis) but with unusual physical symptoms. I journaled and kept calendar entries, mostly to record when I had to resort to Ativan (usually 0.5mg, occasionally 1mg). Other than for flight anxiety (two trips), I can count 17 times I took it over those two months, and only as a last resort. I had two sudden midnight “surges” (after feeling great) with shivers, out of control heart rate, even some diarrhea, which would last hours. I was convinced it was Serotonin Syndrome. The second one took me to urgent care the next morning for a heart checkup. A few days later a new psychiatrist then put me on Propranolol (beta blocker) as my primary concern was my heart. Propranolol immediately helped me observe and evaluate the “anxiety” I was experiencing which helped a lot. The new psychiatrist also had me stop 5-HTP after only a few weeks which was probably smart. I speak to him again this Friday, not sure what to share/ask given what I am learning here. I am now clear on the fact that I am riding waves of withdrawal symptoms, anxiety responds to the unusual feelings and emotions created by the withdrawal and adds its own icing to the cake, but I am focused on observing and not reacting, and doing my best to “ride it out”. The most unusual part of this “pattern” has been the timing of it all - usually kicking into high gear in the evenings after dark (earlier and earlier in my part of the world). I am nervous about traveling this weekend (short flight) but also realize I need to try and have as “normal” a life as I can stand under these conditions. My wife is awesome, understanding and super supportive. At 12 weeks in, I am not sure reinstatement is an option for me, even though I still have 5mg Trintellix in my drawer, and could try taking microdoses. Leaning toward a no, but I realize I may have run out of time to make that decision? I have read almost all the “required reading” but would still appreciate an opinion on that one. Also considering stopping my multivitamin, turmeric and mulberry leaf extract and taking only my “Super Omega-3 Plus” (Fish Oil) and picking up magnesium pills. I just started the Probiotic so I could drop it too, but not feeling like it would impact all of this either way? I am intrigued by the Reishi 415 blend to get some non-psychedelic mushroom love. Lastly my wife and I are thinking about therapeutic float tanks (she would love to do it again) and I have begun using our hot tub as part of my daily routine, along with many failed attempts at meditating. Anxiety was never something I handled well to begin with, and I realize now I must absolutely be on my game to dance this intricate dance. I will post any new thoughts, findings and curiosities on this thread as appropriate. I appreciate everyone’s support! PS- I opted to not use the appropriate abbreviations as I wanted to easily share this summary with family

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well! I want to start by saying how amazing it is for doing all that you do, and helping people so they don't have to suffer any more than they already have. I have been reading all of your articles and working very hard to gather as much information as possible to make sense of what happened to me and how to get myself healthy as soon as possible. I am in a tough spot and hope I have broken everything out correctly for you to provide some insight and guidance. Thank you in advance for your time and help with this matter! Summary: -Was put on Effexor at age 19 (2003) while in college by my PCP at the time after having an anxiety attack for the first time in my life (my parents were getting divorced which really hit me hard). -Ended up taking the effexor all of my adult life as the w/d symptoms were so painful and scary. -In July 2021 (married to my beautiful wife 13 years with 3 beautiful kids) my wife and I finally said enough is enough and it was time to come off this terrible drug. My current PCP had me taper down from 150mg at the time over a few months and then stop. -I had about 2 months where I felt great, and then started to have some minor depressive symptoms start lurking back. My wife and I said that we didn't work that hard to get off the drug to still have these depressive symptoms, so we went to the PCP for some help (this is when things started going downhill). He put me on Wellbutrin which absolutely skyrocketed my anxiety. -Between the PCP and a Psychiatrist my body went through multiple different drugs in a short amount of time which essentially led me to what I am going through now. -Looking to determine what is most likely going on, and to find out what the different options are to make these terrible symptoms stop for good with a plan to get healthy. Timeline Detail: -2003 (19 years old in college) - started having panic attacks (parents were going through divorce). PCP at the time put me on Effexor 75mg. -2003-2014 - Continued through life, work, marriage at 75mg. Was always a healthy active person. -2014 - Increased to 150mg mainly due to feeling the drug was losing effectiveness a bit and because of increasing tiredness and fatigue. -2018 October - Attempted to taper, got down to 37.5, caused severe anxiety and depressive symptoms, went back up to 150mg but did not resolve the symptoms. -2019 January - Psychiatrist increased dosage to 225mg to get me out of it (this worked). -2020 February - was able to successfully drop back down to 150mg. -2021 July - Decided it was time to come off this medication once and for all because of how it was making me feel (fatigue, irritability, etc). PCP had me start tapering (was on 150mg at this time), off completely by end of September 2021 (approx 3 months tapering). -2021 September – stopped completely after being on 37.5mg for 1 month. Had expected withdrawal symptoms for 1 week then felt great. Had approximately 2 really good months, fatigue and other side effects went away completely. -2021 November - depression and irritability started coming back. -2021 December - my wife and I felt we didn’t do all of that work getting off the effexor to still be experiencing depressive symptoms. Note - did not have any physical/neurological symptoms at this time. ---From December 2021 through Current - was put through a series of many drugs in a short timeframe, caused severe anxiety and the start of physical and neurological symptoms--- -2021 December - visited PCP and he started me on Wellbutrin to try to help with the depression that started coming back, this caused my anxiety to absolutely skyrocket and caused panic attacks almost immediately, stopped medication after 1 week, severe anxiety/panic continued. -2021 December - cross tapered off wellbutrin while starting 50 mg Zoloft. After 3 weeks increased to 100 mg. Wasn’t helping, stopped Zoloft completely the end of January 2022. Under care of psychiatrist from this point forward. Severe anxiety/panic continued. -2022 January - tapered off zoloft for about 1 week, while switching to Buspar 10 mg x2 day only. Anxiety got a little better but started having headaches, assumed it was from the Buspar. -2022 February - added Lexapro and increased Buspar to 15mg x2 daily. -2022 February - after 2 weeks stopped Lexapro due to anxiety skyrocketing again. -2022 March - immediately started Effexor after stopping Lexapro, as at this point my anxiety and panic was so bad that I didn't know what else to do. Was willing to get back on the effexor to get these symptoms to stop. Up to 150mg in 3 weeks. Continued with Buspar 15 mg 2x daily. -2022 April - stopped Effexor after 6 weeks (1 week at each dosage: 37.5, 75, 150, 75, 37.5, 37.5) I didn’t like the side effects that were returning quickly (unable to have emotion, extreme fatigue, etc). At this same time my psychiatrist suggested that I not start another antidepressant as they would probably increase my anxiety as the others had, but rather switch to lorazepam 2x/day to manage the extreme anxiety with the hopes that if I was able to function enough to minimize the stressors in my life, I could come off of the lorazapam and not need medication in the future. I hated the idea of taking a benzodiazepine. -2022 April thru end of May - I decided to stay off all medication for 6 weeks, I was hoping to allow my brain to heal. This is the point where my physical symptoms that I am currently still experiencing started alongside the severe anxiety. -2022 May - was the worst month I have had (terrible anxiety, fear, panic attacks, suicidal ideations). The physical and mental symptoms were unbearable. I reached out to my psychiatrist, explained what happened the last 6 weeks. At this point I was willing to do anything to get these symptoms to go away. I essentially told her to treat me as a new patient and not let any of the prior prescription changes effect what she would recommend. I wasn't able to get an appointment until the end of June but she recommended I restart 50mg Zoloft right away. -2022 June - restarted Zoloft, increased to 150mg over 3 weeks (50, 100, 150). Anxiety and physical/neurological symptoms worsened. -2022 June - Anxiety, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts were so bad that psychiatrist recommended again that I start Lorazepam. Was at 1mg 2x/day (morning and evening) this helped stop the severe panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, but I absolutely hated the idea of taking a benzodiazepine. -2022 July - Zoloft 150 mg, and Lorazepam 1mg 2x/day. -2022 Mid-July - Tapered down to .75 mg Lorazepam 2x/day over 3 weeks. -2022 August – continued to taper the Lorazepam .5 mg 2x/day for 3 weeks, then to .25 mg Lorazepam 2x/day through current date. Also reduced to 100 mg Zoloft to try to reduce some of the physical symptoms that started in June with the Zoloft (extreme muscle stiffness and tremors). Wanted to determine if the Zoloft was causing some of these symptoms. -2022 September/Current - currently taking .25 mg Lorazepam 2x/day, and 75mg Zoloft. Currently experiencing the following symptoms every day: -Brain shocks/pain (NOTE - these are different from the zaps I unfortunately know all too well when being late on a dose or missing a day when on the effexor over the last 20 years. The best way I can explain this is that it feels like my brain is trying to send signals and is misfiring or being blocked. It is both painful and shock-like. Intensity and frequency vary from day-to-day, environment, stress, noise, etc. -Extreme sensitivity to sound, even the smallest sounds cause me to jump (this has been very difficult with 3 young children) -Chronic headaches/migraines - mainly both sides on temples, and front of head -Eye pain (both behind and around the eyes) -Facial numbness and pain (face, nose) -Tremors in hands and arms (notice during more precise movements, i.e. using computer mouse, phone, etc.) and full body shaking/tremors -Severe neck and shoulder pain, rigidity -Extremely emotional (sad/crying) -Anxiety -Depression Goals: -Determine what happened. What are the likely causes of what occurred, and also currently experiencing with these physical symptoms? -Find out what my options are to get these physical symptoms to stop for good as soon as physically possible. -Best ways to get my anxiety/depression under control for the long-term, and improve my mood overall. -Get off of the lorazepam and zoloft safely (plan) and be medication free if possible. I am open to doing anything naturally if possible both in the short term and for ongoing maintenance/health. Recommendations received from doctors: -Neurology headache clinic wanted to put me on low dose of lamotrigine in addition to my current medications. Stated this would help with the headaches and also with the anxiety. -A different psychiatrist wanted to put me on low dose of Cymbalta (said the physical manifestations are from the most recent 5-week period of reinstating the Effexor) and we need to trick your brain with the Cymbalta that it is getting what it needs, then taper off slowly.

Hello, my name is Sturm! I am from Austria and am looking for someone to read over my story about getting off of Effexor, since, quite frankly, I am terrified that it will last a few weeks more, or that I could get addicted to benzos (see more about that later) in the process (as the worst side effect I have atm is very bad insomnia). I hope I am posting this in the correct place. So, this is a bit of a long story. I have been taken Venlafaxine / Effexor for around 7 months (since January 2022). Around two months ago I decided to taper it (I was at 150mg). We tapered to 75mg. I don’t recall any psychological side effects from this, but I did notice muscle pain (especially from my left leg). I stayed on this for around two weeks, when I tapered again to 37,5mg. I stayed at this dosage for two weeks, and didn’t notice any psychological change besides muscle pain. I was then told I could get off Effexor, or I could take it every other day. I took it every day for a week. By this time, I noticed brain fog, but nothing extremely strong. At this point, after a week of this, I asked the psychiatrist about a prozac bridge, knowing the withdrawal effects would undoubtedly be terrible. The next day (Friday 21.07.2022) I was off Effexor and took 10mg prozac. At this point, I had a decent amount of nausea and akathisia, a reduced appetite, as well as chills, but never experienced brain zaps. The 5th day had the worst nausea. By day 7, the nausea was seemingly gone, and I thought the withdrawal was over, so I stopped taking prozac a few days later (31.07). The next few days were pretty recent, little to no nausea. By August 5th, (roughly two weeks since being off of the Effexor), I had some mild nausea, chills were back, and worst of all, I started having really bad insomnia. Despite bot having taken any prozac in 8 days, I took it again on August 7th, thinking the insomnia happened due to stopping prozac and being off of it long enough for its half life to expire, therefore allowing more of Effexor’s withdrawal effects to occur (since prozac normally suppresses most of the nasty ones). This, however, doesn’t seem to be the case, as of today, August 10th (day 19), I still am having sleep problems. I am also concerned that I could have become dependent on prozac for taking it for around 14 days. Could dependence on prozac be attained that early, or does it normally take around a month to occur? It has been nearly three weeks since I am off of Effexor. When should I expect the rest of the withdrawal to end? When should my insomnia end (before yesterday and the day before (I was proscribed lorazepam, I hadn’t gotten any sleep in three days due to the insomnia). I was proscribed lorazepam 2,5mg to help me sleep at night. Is this safe to take, or will I get addicted? The psychiatrist and nurses at the hospital where I was given this prescription said it shouldn’t be an issue unless I take this dosage for months. Do I believe them?

Hi, I am in crisis right now and desparate for help. I tapered off effexor 1 year ago and have had no psychiatric meds since. The past year has been rough with prolonged withdrawal and bouts of anxiety along with way, but for the past 3 months I have been doing very well (working a stressful job and handling it well, traveling, etc). For the past week, seemingly out of the blue, I am having severe, debilitating anxiety and insomnia. I also have odd physical senstations that I haven't experienced in quite this way before (odd nagging nausea-not the anxiety kind, but the flu kind; extreme muscle pain; periodic cramping of my hands and feet; a buzzing or tingling sensation in my arms and legs; weakness. I saw my doctor, who ran blood tests- everything is normal. I saw her before the anxiety started- at first, I just had the flu-like symptoms, then the anxiety hit. I don't know what to do....I am going to have to resign from my job (a well-established, successful career of 9 years). I aleady took a leave for 1 month 6 months ago when I was having a bout of bad withdrawal. I feel desperate for relief, and am so desperate that I would even go on meds again (although I swore they were the worst thing I ever did to myself and that I would never touch them again). Is there any chance this is still a delayed withdrawal? Please if anyone can offer me advice, I really need help right now. Thank-you.

Medication HIstory: Prozac 1993 to 2016 for anxiety and depression (actually have Complex PTSD) Switched to Celexa in 2016 and took until Feb 2022 Switched to Lexapro in Feb 2022 then Zoloft in June. Switches were due to bad anxiety and now tapering off because SSRIs seem to be causing anxiety rather than reducing it. At 25 mg Zoloft presently for 3 weeks. Symptoms include nausea, loss of appetite, stomach ache, anxiety. Also taking Lorazepam 1 mg and Zolpidem 10 mg. Just started Accel for nausea and it's helping.

Hi, I’m new and this is my first post. I have been tapering off 10 mgs liquid Prozac since September 28, 2021. As of February 9, 2022 I am down to 3.6 mgs. I am a slow metabolizer of Prozac so the half life makes adjustments easy but the side effects are painful. My psychologist, who retired December 2021, who I went to off and on for 13, told my new psychiatrist June 2021 his opinion that I no longer needed antidepressants and needed my Ativan only rarely, as they were, in his opinion, now creating the anxiety and depression. My psychiatrist, after speaking with my psychologist and with me has agreed, the medication, especially the antidepressant is not what I need this the reason for tapering off. Which was the reason I tapered off lexapro in 2018. After a two and a half year taper down from five to one, my then psych pa told me to stop. That didn’t go well. One month later I started on five mgs liquid Prozac and from July 2018 to October 2018 , after another doctor took over, and he slowly raised me to 20 mgs. Because my psychologist and I both were in agreement, with my doctor at that time, in 2020 I did a 4 month taper from 40 mgs (I was only on that dose a week because it really messed me up, the dose that worked best for me was ten, why I went to forty is long story)to nothing in five months. Doctor said it was okay to do it this way. That went well until withdrawal hit three months later. Back to February 2022. With my last dose changeover a week ago, I have gone the gambit of emotions. From here on out it’s smaller dose changes. But my issue now is, (Prozac has always had a stimulant (ramped up feeling) effect on me,) I feel so ramped up now physically I’m having to take more Ativan. I have texted my psychiatrist about this but still have yet to hear back from him. This ramped up feeling is physical and it hasn’t really effected me emotionally. Which is odd for me. A good thing, a great and wonderful blessing is, it hasn’t triggered the suicidal ideation that Prozac can cause and it hasn’t triggered anxiety, just makes me so nervous I feel like jumping out of my skin, in all the 17+ years I have been on and changed or tapered medicine, this is new to me. Does anyone have thought about this? I am a Christian and I have a strong and close relationship with Christ. Just wanted to add that important information.

Posting this success story is long overdue. I am pleased to say that I am fully recovered. I was mostly recovered at around 18-24 months but still suffered the odd niggling wave. I have been entirely symptom free for over 2 years now. I have so much respect for the people on here, giving support to those who are suffering. Thank you. I don't come on here much but I do check in. I'm open to PMs, especially if I can help anyone suffering during and after a reaction.

Matt Samet's book about his ordeal, Death Grip, will be published in February by St. Martin's Press. At 7 years, he is fully recovered. See his article http://www.madinamerica.com/2012/12/the-other-side/

I have depression and anxiety. My former prescribing ARNP started me on Latuda to augment sertraline (an off-label use) but I didn’t notice any effects. We then switched 150mg sertraline to 20mg trintillex from November-December and I felt good but I had eye twitching and found out it was expensive so I decided to try an ADHD medication as recommended by my prescribing ARNP. I lowered my trintillex (I think to 10mg) and started the ADHD med but I was anxious and nauseous on it so I stopped and went back up to 20mg trintillex. A few weeks after that, I started having severe symptoms (see below). I have a feeling that increasing the trintillex caused my current symptoms but Latuda is not covered by my insurance so I want to get off it as well. I know I need to titrate slowly but I don’t know which one to start with. I was working with an ARNP and we discussed starting sertraline and then decreasing trintillex but she dropped me after I asked started asking questions about and wanting to change the tapering schedule. She discouraged me from stopping the trintillex alone and said my depression would get worse. Since January 11th, I have been experiencing debilitating anxiety, crying uncontrollably (for the first two weeks), nausea, vomiting, racing heart, heat sensitivity, insomnia, stomach pain, suicidal ideation, obsessive thoughts, memory issues, cognitive issues, itching, agitation, feeling detached, irritability, waves of panic, self doubt, and constipation. My questions are as follows: Should I start decreasing the Latuda or the trintillex first? Do you think decreasing the Latuda could help my anxiety symptoms even though it didn’t seem to have a positive affect on me when I started taking it? Would it be unsafe for me to start decreasing trintillex without adding another SSRI? Would it be safe for me to start on sertraline before dropping the trintillex? To the best of my memory: 2006-2010: sertraline 2006-2007: risperidone 2010-2016: took fluoxetine and citalopram as mono therapy 2016: trial Effexor for a few months 2016-2020: escitalopram (polyrugged with Wellbutrin) 2016-2020: Wellbutrin, months on and months off May 21-Nov 21: tapered from escitalopram to sertraline 150mg August 21: trial of lamotragine (rash) August 21: started latuda (off label) at 20mg, then up to 40mg and 60mg but back down to 40mg November 21: two week taper from sertraline to trintillex 20mg, experienced eye twitching and itchiness (5mg trintillex for 5 days, day 6 decrease sertraline to 100mg, day 10 decrease sertraline to 50mg and increase trintillex to 10mg, day 14 stop sertraline, 10 days of 15mg trintillex and then up to 20mg trintillex) December 21: quick taper down on trintillex to I think 10mg and trialed dextro-amphetamine for a week, 10-40mg, anxious and nauseous (1/2 of 40mg pill in am, then 1/2 pill am and 1/2 pill pm, then 20mg am and no pm, then 20 mg am and 1/2 pm, then maybe 20 mg am and 20 mg pm) December 21: quick taper back up to 20mg trintillex, some lip and foot twitching January 22: lorazepam for a few days January 22: clonidine .1mg-.4mg per day, currently taking .1mg am and .1mg pm January 22-March 22: ashwagonda, L-theanine, and probiotics Current medications: Latuda 40mg Trintillex 20mg Clonidine .1mg am and .1mg pm Fish oil Vitamin D Levothyroxine .112mg

Hello I always wanted to return to the site and thank all that helped me in the dark hours and also the forum owner and originator for the tireless work that has helped so many people Heres my thread when I first asked for help http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6865-andy-hello-tapering-from-zyprexa/ I wont go into how I finally quit the drug because it wasnt the normal 10% approach although I tried 5 times and failed miserably.I found a good understanding doctor who helped me reduce and more than anything listened to me without prejudice.This helped enormously,I finally jumped off at 1.25mg and to be honest it wasnt to bad,by far the worst reduction was going just under 2.5mg,I had severe migraines ,nausea,heart palpitations,sickness,depression,mania,mood swings and relentless insomnia.The insomnia was by far the worst symptom as it made me anxious and very irritable ,all this while trying to be a good father and holding down a very stressful and demanding job.Of all the drugs I was put on Zyprexa was the hardest to quit,it was hell and back but it can be done I have recently started my Taekwondo training again that I practiced for over 15 years but couldnt while I was on this terrible drug,I now feel calmer and sleep well.I put on over 3 stone while on zyprexa even though I ate a well balanced diet,I felt lethargic and had no interest in life,that has all changed and the weight is coming off steadily. Excercise has been the most helpful tonic for me and even when I had had zero sleep I went to my class and worked out.It slowly but steadily improved my sleep and made me feel confident again that I could get over all of this,when you start to see improvements you start to see light at the end of the tunnel Things are heading in the right direction and my outlook on life is positive once again.I feel good Once again thankyou for all your help and for people just starting the journey dont ever give in it can be done,god bless you all Andy

I cold turkeyed off Lexapro 10mg in august of 2020. Big mistake. After a year of taking every supplement known to man I relapsed really bad. My relapse was triggered by chronic UTIs, numerous rounds of antibiotics, and hypothyroid. I relapsed into severe depression, anxiety and insomnia. It’s been six months now and docs have tried to reinstate me four times on the ADs including the one I cold turkeyed off of. I got really sick on all of them and quit within a week. Also on lorazepam daily for severe anxiety which I still take. Finally my psych put me on trintellix and was able to eat again and felt like maybe it could work. I did four weeks on five mg and started to sink again. Doc moved me up to 10 mg two days ago and I feel the worst anxiety Ive ever had. I’m losing hope. I think im permanently damaged from quitting cold turkey. I dont think I will ever be the same again and don’t want to live this way anymore. Im now on two drugs that are both very hard to quit and feel like Ive taken 10 steps backwards. I have no interest in anything. Im not myself and haven’t been since I quit the AD. My psych doc doesn’t call me back when im having a crisis. I’ve been to the ER for severe anxiety three times. I need help real bad.

Hi All, I've been reading this forum for a while and the topics here have been indispensable, especially regarding dealing with withdrawal symptoms as I prepare myself for a slow taper off of my remaining dose. Pre-backstory I’m in my early 20s and I just graduated college in late 2014 with a high GPA and a degree in Computer Science. I’ve got a strong resume with projects under my belt. I should be starting my career right now but can’t due to antidepressant withdrawal, but I keep telling myself that I will get better and it will happen, I just need some more time to heal mentally and spiritually. Backstory On January 1st of this year (2015) I suffered the first panic attack of my life. I’ve always had weird heart flutters and missed beats, so I thought I was having a heart attack and dying. The day that I had this awful panic attack, I didn’t get much sleep the night before and I didn’t eat much that day (triggers, I know). I also smoked pot regularly (I am clean now) which in retrospect I figure could be messing with my seratonin. I had bad depersonalization that day, basically forgot who I was for a few hours, and over the next month or so I was bedridden feeling shaky every day, suffering a chain of panic attacks in bed. I was immediately prescribed ativan (lorazepam) to help dull the panic attacks, and shortly thereafter, desperate for something to stop the chain of panic attacks, I was prescribed Lexapro. I took the Lexapro 5mg for the first week and 10mg for the second week, and basically over the next few months my panic attacks got generally better but my mental health got generally worse. My doctor upped me to 20mg Lexapro and I got so disoriented and out-of-it that my mom had to start walking me up to the door of my therapy appointments, because I didn’t feel like I could do it alone. I decided to taper down off the Lexapro because my panic attacks had basically vanished, the Lexapro was causing some bad side effects (at higher doses making me confused and disoriented all the time, at the lower doses mostly just preventing me from getting decent sleep, so I was feeling tired all the time). I felt like the panic attacks would probably not come back, since I was on a good new pattern of diet, exercise, supplements (fish oil, magnesium, probiotic and multivitamin), and I also stopped smoking weed completely, which I think may have been a big contributor to the initial panic attack. Anyways, I had miraculous success taking the dosage down from 20mg to 10mg, from 10mg to 5mg, and from 5mg to 2.5mg, with almost no withdrawal effects. The side effects improved steadily with each dosage decrease, and I’m very grateful that I had so little trouble getting down this far. The big trouble started happening about a month ago. I had thought that I had tapered down successfully from 2.5mg because I felt pretty great for 3 weeks on 1.25mg (¼ of a 5mg pill) with no discernible withdrawal symptoms (Sept 9 2015 to Sept 29 2015). On my psychiatrist’s suggestion, I dropped the lexapro completely (0mg) on Sept 30 and I felt worse and worse for about 4 days. On the 4th day I almost had a panic attack, and I felt so depressed and shaky that I took a small fragment of my pill to try to stave off the symptoms. Literally 15 minutes after taking the pill fragment I went from feeling terrible to feeling great, browsing the internet on my phone. So I stabilized again on 1.25mg after about 5 days, or so I thought. 1.25mg (¼ of a tiny 5mg pill) is terribly difficult to measure - there was one time I wasn’t sure if I even took my pill fragment or if it fell on the floor, since it was so small I couldn’t feel it on my tongue. So I started pushing it against the roof of my mouth so I could be sure it was actually in my mouth. But that made it start to disintegrate before it hit my stomach, so… basically I think that my true dosage was getting really uneven. I felt really tired some days and needed naps, and other days I felt mostly fine. So I figured I could get a more consistent dose if I switched to the liquid, which my psychiatrist prescribed for me. Latest Chapter So on 10/28/2015 I switched to the liquid. I figured that the liquid form would be much more readily absorbed by my body than the pill fragments and I was right. I started out with 1.2mg of the liquid and it felt like way too much (cloudy head, sleepy all day), so over the course of 2 days I lowered it to 0.9mg, which felt pretty fine for 5 days. I felt like I was getting better and that I could even start driving and running errands around town with my mom again if I just waited a few more days. On 11/4 I made a really, really stupid headstrong decision. I felt like I could reduce my symptoms even more if I just reduced the dose by a tiny bit further. So that day I cut from 0.9mg to 0.8mg (which in hindsight was a HUGE cut especially considering how recently I had changed the dose before that). The depression came back in such full force that I immediately had to put the dose back up to 0.9mg 2 days later, but reupping the dose didn’t help at that point. I continued to get worse and worse (more depression/anxiety) until my mom pointed out that I was only eating like 800 calories every day - I knew that my appetite was shot, but I had no idea I was eating so little. On 11/11 I started counting calories and now I’m getting at least 2000 per day, with an ultimate goal of 2500. I upped the lexapro from 9mg to 9.5mg daily and the crippling depression is partway gone now. Anyways now it’s 11/14 and I think I’m seeing some progress, but I can never be sure, and these symptoms are very difficult to work through every day. Today Over the last few days, every morning I wake up nauseous and depressed, and every night I get anxious and need to take a 0.5mg lorazepam to calm down. Progress is slow for me and I’m impatient, but I keep trying to remind (convince?) myself that my body is working very hard to right itself chemically, and that if I just hold this dose and don’t do anything else stupid with it, I will feel a little better by next week, and yet a little better by the week after. I could really use some reassurance though :/ My First Question I’m taking 0.95mg in 2 doses daily (0.475mg at 11am and 0.475mg at 1:30pm). On 0.95mg I feel like my seratonin levels are very unbalanced (depressed/hopeless in the morning, decent around noon, anxious by afternoon/evening). When I accidentally took my second lexapro dose at about 4pm one day instead of 1:30pm, that night I went into a drug-trip kind of sleep (almost like an alternate reality) which was a little scary but most of all exhausting and made me feel disoriented and confused and anxious the next day. As of the last few days, I wake up after vivid dreams exhausted, not at all rested, depressed, and with a burst of adrenaline. Will my body actually be able to get used to such a low 0.95mg dose taken mostly towards the beginning of the day like this? If I just stick it out for another week or two, my mood will start to level out again so that I’m not getting these big daily mood swings, right? If not, where do I go from here? Thank you everyone for your support.

Hi there :-) I've been reading through many posts during the last few month and finally want to introduce myself :-) I am a member of www.adfd.org, a german speaking community for tapering psychiatric medication and it really keeps me up to be able to share with others this difficult time and to contribute to the healing process and the awareness of side-effects and withdrawal. Your site is a great source and inspiration for me - not only for tapering. I found many wise thoughts and great advice in other topics related with mental health and health in general during withdrawal. My story: I've been always sceptic about taking psychiatric medication, although I was struggeling with anxiety from my childhood on. So I learned how to cope with my inner stress without taking anything, and was quite stable and confident during the last years. But after some years with a lot of travelling, changing relationships, moving and finishing my studies, I was quite stressed and exhausted - I realized I needed to rest and take more care about my health. Just in the middle of this sensible moment, I heard about my sister's death - she commited suizide after a long story of mental problems and medication. I guess this moment, 2.5 years ago, was the beginning of my journey through what I now call the most difficult and challenging time of my life. First, I was able to deal with my grief and all the follow-up bad situation with my difficult family, taking good care of myself and planning my future. However, later, in summer 2014, after some months of sudden heavy pain in my hips and my legs and an adverse reaction to pain relievers and an antibiotic, I started suffering seizures and heavy shivering attacks which did not disappear but were getting worse. I went to the ER several times, but nobody seemed to care nor have the slightest idea what was wrong with me, as all tests came back normal. I just knew, I had this seizures and cramping where I sometimes lost conciousness every 4-6 hours and was not able to walk anymore. Mentally, I was in a very good mood, not depressed, anxious or panicking. doctors wanted to send me to psychiatric treatment, but I didn't follow their advice - for me it was clearly some body reaction and I was very afraid to be filled up with drugs. Finally I started taking Lorazepam to be able to get through this time and to stop the seizures. It worked, but I still had unbearable pain and could hardly walk, and taking a benzodiazepine was the only way I could go on searching for a reason and a treatment. Unfortunately, I got dependent within a few weeks, and was not able to stop it without unbearable symptoms. So I continued to take 1.5 mg every day. 2 month later, a psychiatrist introduced mirtazapine, to "ease the posttraumatic stress symptoms and to be able to go through the benzo-withdrawal". By this time, I was in such a bad shape, I guess I would have taken almost anything that could possibly ease my pain and stress. In fact, it didn't help much with the withdrawal, but it almost immediately made me sleep - which was absolutely necessary for me. I didn't want to updose the lorazepam as I thought I was already in tolerance and was very scared about being dependent. In autumn/winter 2014/15 I tapered 1.5 mg Lorazepam within 4 month on my own, just the information I read about withdrawal in the web kept me going. It was very difficult and I suffered strong symptoms, but I was so eager to be free of this stuff. I am now benzo-free since Feb. 2015, and felt much better as soon as 2 weeks after the final dose (0.125 mg) Mirtazapine helped me sleeping initially, but after the benzo-withdrawal I realized I suffered strong side effects like lethargy, dizzyness, agitation, emotional numbness and weight gain and I didn't want to be put on psychiatric drugs any longer, so short after I started my taper of mirtazapine. I think I must have thought something like "this must be much easer than benzo-withdrawal, don't believe the crazy stories about AD-w/d" Well - this turned out to be an even more difficult and longer process. My dose was 30 mg, and I went reduced about 10-12% per month. At the moment I am taking 5.9 mg mirtazapine and I will continue the tapering in small steps. Every small cut is followed by racing heart, anxiety, noise sensitivity, muscle cramps, pain, exhaustion, sleeping probs and more symptoms, and so I still have a way to go. Most days I am housebound, feeling sick and in pain, just being able for a short walk - I was already in this condition before starting the tapering, but now I am much more positive and not doing worse than before on a higher dose. My mind is clearing up and I got part of my feelings back. Being in withdrawal since 1.5 years now feels difficult, but I think I learned something very important from this process: How a stressed autonomous system can produce very bad symptoms, without any "underlying depression/psychiatric illness" (as I was told by many doctors - they seem to know nothing about it). Fortunately, I have a very helpful therapist who always assures me that what I am going through is not depression, but was a strong body reaction to challenging life events, adverse drug reactions and now withdrawal. I have realized that I have a weak point in my upper back bone and I tend to have very tight muscles, which was the initial reason for my pain, and I need to do very careful exercise and relaxation to improve it. Finally, I think I understand what happened to me and my body, why I got sick and, even more important, I know the things I need - and the things I need to avoid. Withdrawal seems to delay and sometimes set back my recovery, but that's something I can accept most of the time. Lina

Hi, I'm Sandy. I've been on Luvox for about 3 plus years. I was put on it by my family doctor to help decrease cortisol that I produced in abundance when I was stressed. Cortisol makes my muscles very tight, and in turn causes me to suffer from arrhythmias. I was on 200 mg of Luvox divided into three doses per day, 50 mg at 5 am, 50 mg at 1 pm and 100 mg at 9 pm. My circumstances changed, and I felt that I didn't need the Luvox to help with cortisol control. I started reducing my dosage each week by 25 mg. My last dose was 3 1/2 days ago. I've ordered an Apollo Neuro to reduce the cortisol without medication. I was expecting withdrawal symptoms, but am looking for help in dealing with them. I am feeling dizzy and nauseous. Any tips or suggestions are very welcome. I do have a script for Lorazepam, which I take if my heart starts to act up. Lorazepam is a great muscle relaxer :), but I only take it on as "as needed" basis, which is very infrequently. Thanks, Sandy

First of all, sorry for my bad English but I am from Spain. I am a man of 22 years old and 55.9 kg who was prescribed with Clomipramine 75mg and 1mg of Lorazepam every day to calm obsessions that don’t permit me to sleep for days. In this case, I was obsessed with the idea that I was schizophrenic, this is something common in the Pure OCD, which i was diagnosed later with a psychologist. These pills calmed me and permit me to sleep, but when months passed, December aprox., I was developing the WORST PURE OCD of my life which made me sick, things like homicidal ideation and aberrant stuff like that. Things that I wasn’t experiencing before accompanied with suicidal ideas that I hadn’t had in my life. This situation was accompanied with total anhedonia, and a feeling of careless with everything. I felt like a psychopath, I cared about nobody and nothing, I was experiencing ideas that I wasn’t related to until that day. Before, I was a person very humanistic and interested in cinema and art, now I care about nothing and everything stays indifferent to me. Now, in that situation of deep depression which I NEVER experienced BEFORE, I decided to taper off that poison which made me a person that I couldn’t recognize. After this, I decided to quit 1|4 of lorazepam on December for 2 weeks and then reduced to half of the pill for other 2 weeks, but I couldn’t lower the dosis to stay on 1|4 because of severe withdrawal symptoms, given that, I decided to increase the dose to half of the pill and stay on that dosis. Then, I rapidly reduced Anafranil to 37.5 mg on 26 January of 2020 to 17 of February of 2020. Then on 17 February of 2021, I rapidly reduced again on 18.75, taking it every other day, with severe abstinence syndrome before that. Finally, i stabilize in 18.75 without alternating, recommendation of my father who is doctor. I have stabilized in that dosis until now, that I found this page thank God, on 20 march, I hope you can help me. The first days when I tapered off were AWFUL with nausea, and vomiting, and sometimes I felt HORRIBLE without sense, but in alternate days without it was like hell, thinking of suicide constantly, brain zaps etc. The major symptoms now are severe anxiety sometimes, like waves, difficult sleep, emotional lability, dizziness, incapacity to connect with others, concentrate or study, horror mood swings which lead me sometimes to mania, crying for little things, irritability, aggressiveness, sweaty dreams, anhedonia, Pure OCD worse than ever and worse than with the Anafranil, constantly negative thoughts about my past and the fails that I committed, thoughts about the meaningless of life and feeling hopeless every time with me and the human species. Sometimes I experience tinnitus and I think about suicide too but I’m staying here trying to survive and trying to rescue the person that I was before. Now I’m taking 1 pill of omega 3 in the morning, that’s the only supplement that I’m taking, and I’m going to gym 2 days a week. Also, I would like to note that we cut the pills with a knife, in not a precise way, so the dosis I took each time was not exactly the same as the one we intended to. In addition, I was not taking the pills at the same time all the days, these two factors combined may have also interfered in my situation. Thanks for your attention and God bless you

Hi, I am a 44 yo guy. I'll keep this very short for now as I need to a ask a single urgent question. I was struggling with (moderate?) depression and anxiety for a couple of mounth. Taking 0.5 mg Lorazepam for sleep during this period. Decided to go the meds route and took 1 pill 75mg Venlafaxine XR 22 hours ago. First 3 hours had increased anxiety, nausea, constant burping. Afterwards felt much better, but a new symptom - dysphagia appeared. I have real difficulty swallowing food now. Water is fine. I would like to stop Venlafaxine after taking just one pill of it. Should I just stop ? I got the necessary tools to taper (purchased for the benzo I'm taking), but I only took 1 pill. I am supposed to take the next dose in 2 hours. Thanks, nismesec

Brief history: Prior to 2018 I was a healthy, happy, highly productive professional (31 then, 34 now). In March of that year, had a medical procedure that went wrong and got anxiety and panic attacks. Given ativan which proved impossible to get off of quickly only two weeks later. Hospitalized and put on remeron 22.5mg. Tapered slowly off Ativan over 2 years, ending in June 2020. Decided to start tapering mirt in August of 2020 using a liquid microtaper as I did for ativan. Dropped fairly quickly from 22.5->7.5 mg over 5 months. Then started final descent from 7.5mg on January 25 and hit somewhat disabling withdrawal symptoms on April 18th. My withdrawal symptoms through the taper generally are malaise, head pressure, brain fog, fatigue, allergy symptoms, etc. that wax and wane in intensity with some good days scattered among mostly crappy days (for three years... feels the same as ativan withdrawal). Despite the speed, I actually started to feel better the lower that I got up until recently. My mind has been somewhat clearer, personality coming back, memory improving. Part of the reason I have been going so quickly is that I was eager to be off by July when I will be starting a new intense job and also I have had pretty bad dry eyes and dry mouth on this drug as a side effect even before tapering. Even during the taper from 7.5 I felt pretty okay until April 18 when I think I was exposed to a lot of pollen and other allergens. That is when things started to unravel. Intensification of all my withdrawal symptoms plus congestion, dizziness, etc. So I held my dose hoping it would resolve. Then on March 30, I started to have pretty bad insomnia which has been up and down since then. Often not falling asleep until 5 am with some nights where I sleep generally okay. With the insomnia has also come bad physical anxiety and now somewhat depressed and despairing. I updosed to 2mg on maybe 5/10, but didn't write it down so I don't remember the exact date. At this point I am really struggling and considering a further updose and would like some advice about how much to updose if I do so, and at what pace. Should I titrate up or just reinstate a dose? Seems like titrating up would be safer, but I don't see that talked about much here so unsure of the experience. Any advice from those experienced with this would be helpful. I am nearing my wits end and feel like I have no hope for recovery. Thank you, Steve

I'm new around here, kind of. I've dropped in over the years and made a couple GP assisted withdrawal attempts. Back story: During a marital separation in 2000 I had a deep depressive episode, I'm fortunate to be here. I sought counseling which led to psychiatry and being started on Paxil and Ativan. Paxil worked very well, however when my wife and I got back together Paxil's sexual debilitations became apparent prompting a switch to Wellbutrin. I spent a few years on Wellbutrin as the marriage continued to devolve, but had terrible sweating episodes; which led to a switch to Effexor and minor sexual issues. Fast forward I am 14 years into a second marriage, doing well and my trusted General Practitioner is handling my Effexor in a maintenance manner. With his help (but limited experience) I have tried backing off using starter packs a couple times but quickly found coming off from 150mg in 37.5mg increments a week at a time was not going to work. Brain zaps, irritability, anxiety, returning depressive state. As I've aged, 55, ED has become an issue that the usual treatments don't adequately treat. So I taken renewed interest in tapering off and maybe getting off Effexor. I purchased gelatin caps, a pill stomper and tiny funnels from Amazon. I already had a beam scale as I am a shooter/reloader. Inexpensive digital scales are notoriously unreliable from a repeatability standpoint especially at the lower end. I've read of folks using a folded sheet of paper with a ruler printed on it to measure the length of the beads lined end to end and gradually tapering, but I already had scales. The contents of a generic 150mg Effexor is @ 470mg of beads, my scale measures in grains, 7.3gr to be exact. A 10% reduction equals 6.6gr. I started at 6.6gr for a week then eased to 6.3gr, 13% taper. At about a week minor brain zaps occurred and some mild irritability, I pushed through and after 3 weeks at 6.3gr these have subsided. BUT I find I have more expressive feelings. Not that I was ever uncaring, it was just muted/subdued in there, and Cialis has a more pronounced effectiveness for me. I was hoping to go in 10% steps of a month each; maybe I need to reevaluate and go in 5% steps of a month to 6 weeks. I'll probably try 6.1gr for a few weeks before attempting 5.8gr or 20% reduction.

Hi there I’m new to the group was kept on benzos for over a year been off them 11 months (temazepam, diazepam snd lorazepam) horrific horrific withdrawals was on clomipramine for over a year been off it a few weeks when I came from 20mg to zero over 4 days (on advice of pscy) my brain went totally weird two sets of hideous withdrawals severe anhedonia loss of sense of self, personality, consciousness takeover, severe disconnect from self and past memories DR/DP no feelings of love or joy or hope or happiness was so suicidal they put me on duluxotene was on it 9 days made me feel worse came off it- my brain is absolutelu fried have also tried over the last months for sleeping melatonin, night nurse, herbal Nitol, ashwaganda, I feel so weird and disconnected ever single second it freaks me out will I ever return to normal ? Please send hope thanks

i'd forgotten i'd joined this site over a year ago!? really not sure this is where i should be doing introduction? anyways ... i'm a young 69 year old female. about 16 years ago i found out through mutual work friends that my partner was seeing someone. i had been working at same company as my partner but took early retirement to stay home with our son. he worked downtown and i was in the suburbs. i wasn't heartbroken just angry and was determined to find out if he was still seeing her (same friends had seen them together) even tho he told me he'd stopped things the year before. he wouldn't talk to me about any of it when i asked questions ... he just got angry or left the room or house. so i was left with my imagination and turned into a super--sleuth with ocd. worked myself into a real tizzy over a few month and at doctor's appointment told him about all this and he prescribed citalopram which calmed me down really quickly. i was in no position to leave him and liked my life (part-time job working at local elementary school with kids with learning disabilities, art classes so started painting again) so stayed in the relationship. he seemed very sorry and wanted to work things out even tho he still wouldn't talk about it and lasted only one session with marriage therapist because he was embarrassed. oh yes, he was also emotionally abusive... bad temper, mean streak but had lovely qualities as well. i insisted he see someone about his anger. things improved a bit so i hung in. about 7 years ago he started with the horrible moods/blowups again and a couple of times directed his anger at our son (maybe 16/17 yrs.?) and that really got me upset. he blew up at me a couple more times and during one blowout said he/we might as well split up, move, sell everything, throw the towel and i told him i thought that as a good idea which shocked him. took me a few more years to come to a financial agreement with him (he didn't want to break up and every time i brought stuff up he made it very difficult ... during this time we were very civil with each other) and to find a suitable place for myself and our son. i was having anxiety here and there but was under a lot of stress and he really frightened me. i'd never had an anxious or depressed day in my life other tan just normal stuff. i started drinking vodka in the evenings (not drunk!) and took up smoking a bit of weed here and there after stopping it years before. 3 years ago my son and i moved into a lovely townhouse and the day i moved my anxiety got really bad. started drinking and smoking a bit more and started doing some research on antidepressants. i began thinking they weren't doing any good so tried to get off but did it too quickly and ended up a basketcase and on them again. felt better for a while but the anxiety was bad. lost interest in painting, socializing, reading, gardening, cleaning ... hated everything. for me it was all in my gut ... despair, fear, confusion, guilt, sadness all roiling around ... no bad thoughts except my brain never slowed down with stupid stuff over and over. a few months ago i got myself down to one beer a night and hardly smoke dope at all and mid-may started weaning myself off citalopram ... stopped about a month ago. oh yes about 3 years i started taking lorazepam every now and then as needed and it works quite well. (was only on 20mg. citalopram and 1 mg. lorazepam). i really started feeling better a couple of months ago to the point i had she days where i almost felt like my old self but that didn't last. i'm now back with anxiety and covid hasn't helped of course. i know there are things i could force myself to do to feel better but i just freeze! will i ever get back to my happy peaceful self ???

Hi, I have been a long time lurker and didn't think I'd need to post but I am hoping for a bit of reassurance and support. I have so far not involved myself, because I am one of those who didn't take ADs for long and had a reaction. I am generally a happy, healthy and pretty confident, level person. My young son got ill in 2013 and had to have a couple of operations. He’s absolutely fine now but, having held it together all the while I think I started to process it once it was all over and I noticed that I was worrying excessively about him. By February 2014 I was getting concerned that, if left unchecked, my issues could smother his adventures and exclude my daughter so, when it spiked around the time he started school I decided to see someone about it. At this point I had never had a panic attack or anything even close to it, a few intrusive thoughts about my son’s health that I felt were gaining a bit too much traction for a couple of weeks but was generally still enjoying life and getting on with my days. The day before I saw the psych I went to the movies with my girlfriends and had a lovely time. The week before we had friends over and I remember feeling happy, almost to the point smug, thinking 'I love my life. I'm so lucky'. I went, just expecting to talk it through but instead spent 15 minutes with a psychologist who diagnosed me with GAD and did a real number on me about how sick I was and how I would never get better without medication, which I was reluctant to take. She phoned the female GP at my practice (my normal doctor was away) and told her that I needed meds but would resist. The GP scared the crap out of me, telling me the next stage is psychosis and I would be hospitalised if I left it untreated, did I want to be away from my children for a month if that happened, etc, etc. None of it stacked up against my own experience of myself and my husband didn’t get it either but these people were the experts, they should know, right? Anyway, I took pristiq and ativan for three days and everything just fell apart. Within hours of taking it I was being hit by wave after wave of panic attack, then came the hallucinations, suicidal and violent thoughts, agoraphobia, it just kept on giving. I was convinced I couldn’t be trusted around people, let alone my children. It was a living nightmare so I stopped taking them. The withdrawals were terrible; more obsessive suicidal and violent thoughts, vomiting, watery diarrhoea, dizziness, headaches, blurred vision and pain behind my left eye, adrenal jolts and just fear like I’d never known. I was determined not to go back on them and in hindsight should have just continued through it. Instead I went to see a naturopath who gave me a fairly hefty dose of St Johns Wort. I was worried about taking it so soon after discontinuing the pristiq but he assured me I would be fine. I wasn’t. It was awful but I stuck with it for several weeks. Worried about another set of withdrawals, my psych dismissing all symptoms as not possibly related to the meds or herbs (which she laughed at) and mistrusting doctors I had totally lost sight of who I normally was. I tapered off it as fast as I could – all the usual, though less pronounced physical withdrawals, increased anxiety, more suicidal thoughts and a very strange dysphoria – like someone else jumped into my mind, thought a load of random, truly awful negative stuff that I would never normal think and then hopped back out again leaving me muddled and anxious. Eventually I went to see my own doctor, who has been treating me and my family for the past ten years. I told him what was going on and he said that he had seen similar in people who are really sensitive to psychotropic drugs and that I had probably suffered serotonin syndrome and to ride it out. He pointed out that worrying about your kids, particularly after times of stress, isn’t a mental illness and that the hand pain I was experiencing (the psych told me these were a symptom of my anxiety, as my heart was pumping blood faster and I didn’t even realise it was happening) was more likely referred pain from a whiplash injury the month before. So fast forward to now, a little over a year later and I have been doing well. I have been having waves but they are manageable and I am back to my normal self during windows, which are lengthy (the last being four months). Until now. I am presently in a wave that has lasted for nearly a month (with the odd window within that time) and as about as bad as during the earlier phases of withdrawal. I am having some serious obsessive and scary thoughts and a whole barrage of physical symptoms; nausea, bloating and a butterflies feeling) headaches, a cold, trickily feeling down my spine, some brain zaps, pain behind my eye and, when there is a reprieve from those, an almost depressive state where the negative self talk takes over - like I am incapable and not good enough to do the job I have been doing perfectly well for years. If it wasn't for the emotional/psychological symptoms, I would think I was really sick (the anxious withdrawal-hypochondriac is chanting that I probably am. Very). Does anyone know of people getting such a pronounced wave after such a long time? I know it can't be a relapse, because I was never even remotely like this before, but it is scary. The further out from taking the pills, the less assured I feel that it is still withdrawal, which I guess is the catch 22. My normal doctor is away again and whilst he is sympathetic, I am frightened he will become sceptical as time draws on. I would appreciate any insights people can offer. Thanks

My Story: Around 2007, I was 19 and was in a 2.5 year long terrible, codependent relationship carrying over from high school. He decided to go into the military and when he left for boot camp, my world (at the time) fell apart and I fell into my first depression. I had never dealt with it before, but I had had 2-3 panic attacks prior (induced after smoking weed). 1 was so bad and scary I went to the hospital "KNOWING" I was going to die. It was so long ago that I don't remember all the details, I just remember how bad it was and my parents didn't know what to do. They ended up taking me to a GP friend who prescribed me 20mg of Paroxetine. I give no blame whatsoever as in my opinion it saved me at the time. I stayed on the medicine for years without ever really thinking about (I had a chemical imbalance after all and the pills fixed it). What truly changed was the end of Sept 2015. I was 27 and my 34 year old brother suddenly passed away overnight (death was ruled as undetermined). I had never known anyone under the age of 80 to day, and to not have a reason amongst many other issues surrounding everything that happened afterward crushed me. At first, I was so shocked at how well I thought I was dealing with the whole situation. Then after 3 months, on Christmas Eve, after going to the cemetery, I started feeling like I was going to have a panic attack. I left a Christmas party, and on the way home it was full blown where I had to pull over. I went into a restaurant bathroom and was on the floor certain that I was dying. It was the worst panic attack I have ever had and it lasted for about an hour. A friend had to come pick me up and take me home. This was the changing point of my life, even up to today. I fell into a depression I didn't even know was possible. It got so back that my psychiatrist upped my dose to 40mg of Paroxetine, and then added Buspirone to "boost" the Paroxetine (don't know how much), .5mg of Lorazepam, and also and antipsychotic (don't know how much or the name). I was a barely functioning, 27 years old and couldn't drive, my parents had to pick me up and take me to work every day for a couple of months and I couldnt even want in a store without holding my mothers hand.

Alright, the reason I started this topic is a need a good advice. My problems started September last year, after turbulent relationship and quite possibly due to overtraining I suffered a mental fallout, father panicked called my brother who in turn called the police to take me to the mental hospital, which I refused to go on my own volition. The cherry on top is my mother was a paranoid and committed suicide two decades ago by refusing to take her prescribed meds, so I knew if go through the system I would end up a Poll-drugged zombie. here was my therapy: Valproate 500mg, Haldol 8mg Prozac 20 mgOlanzapine 5 mg Biperiden 2 mg Ativan 5 mg I managed to wean my self to lorazepam 2.5 mg Haldol 0.5 mg Olanzapine 1.25mg three months ago I jumped from Haldol 0.5 mg and a week after from Zyprexa 1.25 mg thinking that antipsychotics are easy to get off (i was stable at the time on these doses) for first two months i suffered anxiety, depression and suicidal thinking, but I managed to shrug them off as withdrawal symptoms, the problem is after approximately 9 weeks I started to suffer 24/7 insomnia, I could fall asleep but would wake up in 30 minutes, that lasted for a couple a days, not wanting to end up hospitalized again i reinstated 1 mg Haldol and 3.75 Zyprexa, at higher doses of both these drugs I get extremely restless, on lower doses I can barely sleep, right now i sleep between 6-8 hours but during the day I am extremely agitated for having to drink these poisons, i went to a couple of reputable shrinks who wanted to up my doses, particularly Zyprexa to 10mg, which I refused. My question is should i listen to these shrinks, or try to though it up and remain at these dosages and try to stabilize? Thanks in advance

I'm brand new to this site. I have been on the ride of psych drugs since my late teens. I started with sertraline, which I went off of cold turkey after six months. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol for the next decade. Was put on paroxetine at age 29. Went off quickly when I became pregnant. I went back on paroxetine in 2012 and was on it for six years. It didn't help much, I gained a ton of weight and had decreased sex drive. In 2018, I went into crisis and began a horrific journey of medication chaos for the next two years. I can list all of the drugs I was put on, but not the length of time or dose for each: venlafaxine, fluoxetine, risperidone, escitalopram, bupropion, propranolol, trazadone, aripiprazole, lithium, lorazepam, lamotrigine, and a variety of other nonpsych drugs to counteract different side effects from these drugs. In the late summer of 2019, I began to taper off all medications with the assistance of my psychiatrist. I took my last dose of psych meds on November 17, 2019. I've been med free for over nine months. My mental health continues to be very difficult, but I am glad that I'm not compounding these issues with the torturous effects of psych meds. I know that psych meds seem to offer relief to some people, but they made things worse for me. I now work as a Peer Wellness Specialist to help others living with mental health challenges navigate their recovery. I'm just seeking connection to others who have had similar experiences with psych meds, as well as looking for more information to help others who decide to go off meds or need support with the meds they are on. Thanks for being here!

Admin link - link to benzo forum thread - SwingCobra: Choosing Ativan taper method Hello everyone, Ever since my first manic/psychotic episode back in October of 2012, I have been using a variety of psychiatric drugs, most of which being antipsychotics. Up until late July of this year, my drug regimen included 5 mg of olanzapine and 0.5 mg of lorazepam nightly; I had actually stopped taking lorazepam from March to mid-July, but restarted taking it due to the presence of stressful circumstances in my life. However, the same stressful circumstances led me to a state of anxiety for which my psychiatrist prescribed me sertraline. After reading a bit about antidepressants online and seeing how long-term use of these drugs can be troublesome, I'm not too interested in continuing taking sertraline on the long term. Right now, I've been taking 50 mg every morning for 8 days straight, and I'm not seeing my psychiatrist until August 19th, nine days from now. What would be the safest option for me to stop taking sertraline? My guess is I should wait to see my psychiatrist in order to discuss tapering methods with her, but I thought that receiving input from people on these forums would be beneficial.