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  1. Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.
  2. I debated on telling this first part because of the trauma it left me. If you're not comfortable in hearing about the abuse I went through, feel free to skip the next paragraph. This truly started 3 years ago with my first bout of psychosis. I was possibly drugged by my ex and got the authorities called on me because I thought he was going to hurt my family and I was losing my mind. He told me he was calling for help, little did I know it was not help for me. They used excessive force when I wasn't even resisting and made my hands bleed handcuffing me, pinning me down, and putting me in a straitjacket. In the ambulance they injected me with something that made me lose all function of my motor system. I was verbally abused and thrown onto the hospital floor for not being able to move my body where I then passed out. I was forced on an IV that was pumping more **** into me that I didn't know. Throughout my stay I was again injected with something I still don't know and had way more blood removed than necessary to do blood tests after my body had already eliminated whatever was in me so no one could tell if I was actually drugged or not. I was constantly lied to about the medication I was being presented with being told that it was for nausea when it was an antipsychotic. Eventually I agreed when they threatened to force it on me, but only ever truthfully taking it once while spitting out the rest. Upon discharge, they wanted to put me on 5 years of Abilify. I refused. After 6 months of debilitating anxiety refusing to ever see a doctor again, I somehow recovered to a certain point but my overall health was never the same and I just became even more hypersensitive to things. Fast forward to end of October 2023, I was undergoing a lot of stress and depression to the point that it was affecting my eating and felt like vomiting. My body temperature kept fluctuating from normal to abnormally cold; it was nothing like I've ever felt before and I was so terrified of what was happening to me. I admitted myself to the hospital where I was once again, forced injected with something I didn't know (later I found out it was lorazepam), again way more blood taken than necessary to do blood tests, and again fell into a state of psychosis. Once again, I was admitted to the psych ward and lied to about the meds they wanted to give me saying that Olanzapine just helps you sleep, and if I didn't take it I'd be stuck in the psych ward for a month or more. I caved in order to get out faster to ease the stress on my family and thought I could try trusting them because they told me I'd be on a low dose of half a mg. Again I was lied to or the nurse lied on my report and I was put on supposedly 5mg at the start. I remember looking at the half tablet they gave me and there was clearly a 5 on it! Ultimately I don't know what my actual dose was. I was feeling nauseated on it and very sedated and constantly feeling cold, needing to urinate a lot, and elevated heart rate. Even had a low fever at some point. I tried telling the nurse and doctor but it was dismissed as something else or just simply ignored. I tried asking to be on a different med which they agreed for a couple days and then promptly switched me back citing "severe" nausea even though I was experiencing the same nausea on Olanzapine. They really just wanted me on this horrible drug. Though after reading people's stories on here, I dunno how much better I'd have been off on an AD instead of AP in terms of trying to wean off it. In the end I was discharged on 2.5mg of Olanzapine and took it for a full month. I asked how long I was supposed to take it for and my doc just said to keep taking it. Pharmacist didn't say anything about side effects other than drowsiness or dizziness, yet the leaflet listed a whole bunch of it. Not knowing anything about withdrawal, I CT'd after that month and felt fine for a week, then started to feel ill again with random muscle jerks and my body feeling constantly cold. So I reinstated the 2.5mg and took it for another half month before getting Covid which messed with my nervous system even harder where my body temperature wouldn't go down but I was still feeling super cold. After 2 months recovering, there were still random points where I felt really ill like my body was shutting down and the Olanzapine sedation was getting too much. I tried asking my doc about it and it was dismissed as Covid residual symptoms. So I kept on the dosage for a while longer but it didn't fully resolve. I asked my doc if I could taper off the Olanzapine. He told me to do a skip every other day dose approach which led to much head pain so I went on half for a week last week and felt a lot better. But I was feeling tired in the mornings again, so I thought I could do a skipped dose thing again at 1.25mg like an idiot but that just caused some really bad headaches. Right now I'm taking a quarter (0.625mg) and am suffering from random muscle convulsions and now insomnia, in combination with feeling cold, constantly needing to urinate, and nausea that I felt the first time. I'm also feeling random bouts of what I can only describe as the stress hormone which is what feels like causes the random muscle convulsions and insomnia. As I'm typing, I keep hoping the small windows of relief would stay but I inevitably just get waves of cold and stress again... Sorry this was a bit long. I appreciate anyone for reading.
  3. I am writing this as an addendum to My Story which details what ADs did to my life and discusses to a degree how I got my life back. However, I am writing this to elaborate on what certain problems where posed both physically and logistically after I stopped taking medications. Please keep in mind that I went COLD TURKEY and did not taper, which differentiates me from many people on here; also my story took place over 10 years ago, so my memory is not is 100% clear which means it is hard for me to apply a quantitative number to aspects of my physical recovery. In 2002 I quit cold turkey from a drug cocktail that included an Antidepressant (Celexa), an Antipsychotic (Zyprexa), an Anticonvulsant (Depakote), a Benzo (Ativan), a Z-Drug (Ambien) and a prescription diet pill (Phenteramine – given to me by my pdoc to lose the 60 pounds of weight I gained from the other weight gaining medications). The physical ramifications of quitting cold turkey where hard core, and lasted to the best of my recollection in hard core form for six months. These were: insomnia, exhaustion, akathesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, nausea and vomiting, total loss of appetite and over-sensitivity to certain substances. There were also mental symptoms: overwhelming memories, mania, depression, over-emotional reactions to certain situations (e.g. crying or extreme anger) and PTSD from the whole ordeal. It is important to note that many of these symptoms continued to linger in a much lesser form for several years. I know that many of you would like a firm number of how long I suffered, but I cannot put a number on it because I started my recovery in 2002 – 10 years ago. This is further complicated by the fact that to get through the exhaustion from WD, I smoked cigarettes anywhere from one to one and a half packs for many years after. Since smoking can mimic some of the symptoms of WD (loss of appetite, headaches, mania, anger) it is hard to delineate what was what. However, I do believe that smoking provided mental focus that I would not have had otherwise. I finally quit smoking in 2007, five years after stopping meds. It was an odd thing, I just stopped one day and no longer wanted to smoke anymore. Maybe this was a sign of my recovery, but it may also have been a reaction to the fact that because of NY laws and my husband, if I needed to smoke I had to go outside. Smoking outside in the rain or cold was getting stupid. I do believe that part of this was a sign of final recovery – I didn’t need to mask symptoms anymore. So if this is true, and I had to put a number on it – I would say I battled with minor symptoms and PTSD for five years So what problems was I left with after drugs had stolen my life? And how did I regain control? Here is a list: Weight Gain A ruined job history A ruined credit history from filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Over $20K in debt to the IRS plus two tax liens PTSD Estrangement from my family I was fully aware of the PTSD, and would think on occasion of reaching out to a therapist. However, because the whole ordeal left me extremely suspicious of the whole field of mental health, I declined to reach out to anyone. So based on this list, I will try to tackle how I recovered in each area: 1) Weight Gain: I lost my appetite during WD and I also became a huge walker. In one year I lost sixty pounds with little effort. I did eat, but I ate very small meals, 200 kcal 3-5 times a day, mostly high protein and I ate an apple a day and I drank a TON of herbal tea. 2) A ruined job history: I had been fired from three high paying jobs, all in IT. I had no references, a job gap of four years, but I had good computer and office skills so I reached out to temporary agencies. I worked as a temp for many years, in the NY/NJ area only taking jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I built up my resume this way. Today, I list those jobs as “contract” and I explain that I liked the flexibility of “contract work” and that I was in the process of getting married and building a home with my husband, no one questions it. 3) A ruined credit history: I got a copy of all three of my credit reports and joined a credit law forum. I found that there were many examples where creditors where breaking either or both the FCRA or FDCPA laws on my credit report. I also hired an attorney. The attorney got 50% of it cleared up, I got the other 50% cleared up myself by tenacious letter writing and disputing with the Credit Bureaus. The forum I used had a great database of creditors who gave people with Bankruptcy on their reports a card with a small credit line; I applied to all of these and rebuilt my credit this way. When I married my husband in 2005, he added me as an authorized user to his accounts, giving me a longer and stronger credit history. 4) Tax Debt and Liens: After hiding from the IRS for several years, I contacted them and got on an installment plan. Because I was not working at the time I called them, my payment amount was on $185 for $20K+ in debt. I paid it faithfully for years; in October 2011 I was paid in full. Because the IRS has a law that you cannot pay more than 25% in interest and penalties of the actual tax debt, a good $10K got knocked off the total bill. But I still had two tax liens on my credit report. I did some research and found out about a service called the Tax Advocate service which is run through the IRS. I contacted my local Tax Advocate. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the details of how I argued my case to get two tax liens released, but I did and in 2005 poof they were gone from my life and my credit report. If anyone needs more info, I would be happy to answer questions later in this post. 5) PSTD: I just endured this, but chose to embrace anger over victimhood. I was one extremely angry person for many years and I ruminated and had nightmares for years. I often thought about writing the SHRINK who did this to me, but refrained. One thing that I learned from this whole ordeal was to trust in my instincts which was empowering and allowed me to pick and chose my relationships with people and situations that were good for me. I let go of many friends who were not healthy for me. 6) Estrangement from my family: In 2003 I was estranged from my entire family (father, mother and brother). Today I am by choice still estranged from by father and brother. This is because I realize it is futile to ever expect them to change and to stay in relationship with them will only hurt me. I have however, repaired my relationship with my mother. I am extremely happy to share that six months ago I convinced her to move from Illinois to New York and reclaim her life. She tapered off multiple pmeds herself around 2007 and was left with two medical conditions diabetes and downbeat nystagmus from taking lithium and depakote for many years. She lived alone, my brother who lived close by was not helping her, and she was not getting the proper medical attention so she agreed with me. Today she lives 2 miles away from me, we are extremely close and I have helped her get her life back. My husband and she adore each other. So that is how I put the pieces of my life back after being devastated by polypharmacy. And I joined this forum because I think it is important that people know that taking these medications can be extremely harmful on so many levels. I hope this information helps someone out there. Please feel free to post any questions you may have. I wish all of you the best and trust that if I could restore my life which was utterly devastated by psychiatry, you can too.
  4. Seeking advice to taper Olanzapine after two failed attempts Dear forum First of all, and after spending some hours browsing this forum, I'd like to congratulate you for the support you have given to so many of people in need. Please keep it up and God bless. To my story: After a breakdown following both work and marriage issues at the same time, I found myself in a psychiatry ward here in Germany beginning of June 2022. As I couldn't sleep due to trauma and compulsive thoughts, I was first put on quetiapine (dose unknown). I did sleep for a couple of hours, but after waking, my thoughts would be racing even faster compared to when I fell asleep. After discussing this with the responsible doctor, I was switched to olanzapine 10 mg. I left the ward with this dose beginning of July 2022. I was suffering from muscle weakness at that point (my only symptom as far as I can remember), but as I learned more and more about the long term effects of olanzapine, I decided to start tapering, always discussing this with a psychiatrist. September 2022 I went 10>7,5>5>2,5>0 in a weekly rythm. It all went smoothly until 2,5 mg, but 5 days after the last 2,5mg dose that I started feeling strange. Bouts of anxiety, chills, poor sleep, and finally, I stopped eating. Couldn't even force myself to eat. Eventually, I discerned that it must be withdrawal symptoms, and went back to the doctor. He confirmed, put me back at 2,5mg, and told me to hold for a month. Which I did, and I felt ok again. End of October 2022 I started the second attempt. I was to do a week alternating the 2,5mg every other day, then stop. Well, 3 days after stopping the last dose I started noticing my hunger go away again, as well as my sleep. I immediately went back to the doc, that gave me the option to go back to olanzapine, or take promethazine for the sleep issues. I first agreed to the promethzine and went home. However, I then decided to hold off for another two days, to see how things went, but well, things went down the drain. Acathisia, suicidal thoughts and a general sensation of doom came into the mix. I reconsidered taking the promethazine, as sleep was the least of my problems by now, reinstated the 2,5 mg olanzapine, this last week, which is where I am now. I don't think this second attempt went without leaving a mark tough. Before, I would go to bed at 9pm and fall asleep like a rock and slept through 6am. Now, I struggle to do so before 11pm and wake some time around 5 am, struggling to find rest again until 6am. I've also noticed something like I would describe as anhedonia for the first time, which I didn't have before. So, I would kindly ask for your support answering the following questions: 1. Have I sensitized myself already, given the new symptoms? What do you reckon? 2. How long should I at least wait until my next tappering attempt? 3. I understand the concept of a 10% taper by now, but would a 25% taper be totally off the charts, by cutting the tablets? I'm struggling the whole time thinking about the process of crushing tablets and making suspensions 4. To support the tapers, I started myself on 440mg valerian each night two weeks ago, as well as 30 drops 3x a day of passionflower. I had some heart rhythm issues that seemed to go away with this. How should I proceed with these two in your opinion? Hoping to hear from you soon. Kevin
  5. It all started after a 10 day meditation course 4 years back.At the end of the course i had euphoria and a bit of delusion.But in a few days i was settling down but i was forcefully taken by my brother who never was polite with me from childhood, to a psychiatric hospital where they started me on oral antipsychotics. As i was not tolerating them i wasn't taking them regularly which i disclosed to my doctor who gave me option of an injectible which i think was inj paliperidone. Stupidly ,i agreed to it.All hell broke loose that night,i was in the dumps,nobody attended to my situation.I never wanted to take that any more but after a day my doctor said i had to repeat that injection ,which when i refused ,they threatened to give it forcefully,so i accepted that injection.Life was a down hill from that time onwards.I was discharged from that hospital after a month with no proper instruction.i was living in hell for the next 6months. Was it the effect of the injection or its withdrawal i dont know.After 6 months of hell i was reffered to another psychiatrist who started me on sodium valproate 1500mg,olanzipine 5mg,clonazepam 5mg and escitolopram 10mg.In the mean time i had to hold on to my job which required constant alertness.I have gradually tapered sodium valproate to 300mg ,tapered and stopped clonazepam following the Ashton manual,tapered and stopped escitolopram on my own.I am now left with 5mgs of olanzepine.Around that time i came across the works of Dr Peter Breggin and i was convinced to stop olanzepine to over come the battery of side effects of olanzepine which was pure hell.About the same time i came across SurvivingAntidepressants web forum.I convinced my psychiatrist to taper olanzepine,who asked me to reduce by 50%. However i will be tapering by 10% of the previous dose method from 1st nov 2019.You guys at SA are doing a marvellous job,hats off to all of you.My sincere prayers to all those trying to taper of psychiatric medications,wishing everyone a safe and successful journey.I too need a lot of support and wishes from all of you.My wife has been very supportive and understanding .She has agreed to stand by me during my olanzepine taper which may take a couple of years. Will i be myself after the taper?Will my personality ever come back which is in ruins right now? will i be able to thinking clearly?Will the anhedonia go away?Will i be able to feel again?During the process of tapering olanzepine i need to hold on to my job which requires constant alertness,and take care of my family at the same time.Will i be able to?
  6. Hi everyone. Im looking for some sage advice. I have been on 2.5 mg of Zyprexa for about 2 years. I decided it’s time to get off this poison. It’s caused me to gain 60lbs ..it’s given me high blood pressure and worst of all it makes me feel easily overwhelmed.. like the flood gates have been opened on my anxiety and depression. Previously I was very Even keel , even under pressure. I was a great Multitasker, and really good at troubleshooting and problem solving. I DO NOT feel like myself anymore , I lack the ability to feel love, joy or happiness of any kind, and forget motivation. the only things I can feel are anxiety, depression and Dred. I WANT OFF! I don’t care how long it takes but this s**t has to go! I have taken myself off antipsychotics before but usually right after a hospitalization. Because if I was stable I wanted off the meds ASAP. I did this with resperidone and with paliperidone. I was fine for 4 years… then 5 years before having another “episode “ . For me, an episode is being awake for days on end until psychosis sets it. They can’t fit me into a Schizo affective box because it doesn’t happen often enough or without lack of sleep. And they don’t think bipolar quite fit’s either because I’m not “manic” I’m simply awake.. feeling like I have electricity buzzing through me. I can be awake for days, physically, exhausted, and sleep, just will not find me. So the solution was ( of course ) Antipsychotics. Not addressing my sleep deprivation… or trying to find out why my heart would race every time I tried to lay down .. waking me up every time I even attempted to sleep… No , they just fed me antipsychotics. Because in all of that information all they focused on was the psychosis. knowing full well that anyone who goes without sleep for long enough will eventually go psychotic. But they take advantage of your weakness in these moments. Making THIS our only way of fighting back. It’s infuriating and disheartening. ( sorry for the rant ) Anyway, that’s the history. If you’ve experienced something similar I’d love to hear from you. ok back to Zyprexa. so I ordered a very expensive tapering strip protocol from the Netherlands and 3 days in I was right back in my danger zone. I was up for 3 days straight before I Reinstated at the original dose of 2.5. Luckily that did it, and I slept like a rock. Now here’s the tricky part … in those 3 days the dose was only reduced by a total of 4% overall. ( this was supposed to be a hyperbolic micro taper ) And my nervous system could not handle a 4% reduction!!! Now I’m terrified. I know now that I have to go even slower but I’m unsure how to do it now. I’m thinking about a micro taper of .001mg like I’ve seen people do for benzos, only holding for a week instead of trying to reduce every day. Im not crazy about shaving and weighing pills but I’m not really sure what other option there is at this point. there’s very little information out there on the intricacies of antipsychotic withdrawal. Even the newest information from Dr Horowitz doesn’t address the need for micro tapers.. their smallest increment being 5% which is obviously to much for me. So I have come here to gain some insight from people with lived experience. I need REAL help. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks everyone.
  7. Hi, I was put on Olanzapine after having Long Covid and spending many weeks virtually bedridden in a dark room because of light sensitivity as well as generally feeling like death. This is quite typical, except I took the dark room thing a little (way) too far and developed hallucinations (ganzfeld effect). They take a bit to go away it seems and I got freaked out by that and they put me on Olanzapine (5mg), though the doctor stated that it almost certainly was caused by the dark and will clear up, and did, but now I'm stuck on this serious drug and see there is really no guidelines whatsoever for getting off. My doctor said to drop to 2.5mg for a week and go off. The pharmacist said something far more absurd. I was at 5mg for 4 weeks, and did a 50% reduction to 2.5 for 5 days and at that point figured it would be safer to drop down to 1.25 for a week than stop entirely. I have been at 1.25 for 3 days and am feeling heightened anxiety, sleep disturbance and just feel off. What I feel are withdrawal symptoms appeared at day 3 after the drop, is this to be expected for this med? Should I go back to 2.5mg and hold for some time? I just feel if only on this drug for 5 weeks it seems silly to taper for months, what do you kind folks advise? I've read this printout: https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/treatments-and-wellbeing/stopping-antidepressants Thank you so much for any input. I know I'm starting from a low dose and time period and thus am lucky, but am still quite scared by all the stuff I've been reading.
  8. Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation
  9. I can relate to so much that has been written here about antidepressants. I developed tardive dysphoria after being on them for 25 years. I am now virtually off antidepressants but still suffer terribly because of the tardive dysphoria. I feel suicidally depressed, anxious,worried and restless every day. I struggle to get out of bed and to get washed and dressed. Everything seems like an impossible task. I have been like this for over 2 years and despair that I will feel better. It took me about 18 months to taper off Sertraline. Does anyone else have experience with tardive dysphoria? Will I ever recover?
  10. Hi all, I had a toxic break in mid 1990s. Was self medicating due to unresolved childhood trauma. I wasn’t coping with how difficult my life had become. I wasn’t making wise choices - but not all of us in our early 20s do… Parents called crisis team and I was told by psychiatrist I had a chemical imbalance and would require endless drugging. I replied I know my life is out of whack - I’d read R.D Laing at uni and asked if there was somewhere I could go to get help sorting everything out properly without the chemicals. “No.” My parents believed the genetics/chemical imbalance myth. I tried stelazine and mellaril but the akathisia was instant and felt awful. I stabilised without them for some time. I had a couple more toxic breaks and in 2003 my parents arranged a forced admission with the same psychiatrist. I was shot in the arse with god knows what. I had bad akathisia and they gave me cogentin. I was supposed to have skin ointment nightly as well but half the time the orderlies just couldn’t be bothered with that even when I told them it was part of the regimen. Not reassuring. After two weeks I was out of there and my father demanded I take the prescription if I was to stay with him. At no stage was a physical done. I would’ve been malnourished to say the least - couldn’t afford decent food. I moved away with friends, took 10mg olanzapine daily and became obese - ugh. It was a pretty relaxing time though, which helped. I was able to return to work. Later on I came back and my mother helped me get diet and exercise happening to lose some weight. Thank heavens I didn’t have an office job then or it wouldn’t have been possible. I lost 30 kgs. Keeping it off is hard though with the olanzapine. I tried risperidone for a couple of years to lose weight but it was of marginal help and was more uncomfortable to take. I asked the psychiatrist since I’ve been stable for many years can we look at getting off. “No.” Do you ever work with addressing the root causes with therapy? “No, we don’t believe it affects this.” I discovered yoga which has been enormously beneficial and I’d recommend to anyone. I wish I’d listened to my aunt and done this when I was first having issues before my break. Exercise is another must. A few years ago I had an abusive neighbour move in next door who beat his de facto and he wasn’t friendly to me either. Somehow my psychiatrist thought this would be a good time to try me on aripiprazole. At first it was liberating as I had much more energy but that rapidly turned into overstimulation and anxiety. I switched back. I moved away from the violent neighbour. The two nice things I’ll say about the psychiatrist are a) he didn’t stack me on multiple drugs and b) he was ok with me setting my own dose…to a point… I was easily able to get down from 10mg olanzapine to 7.5, then 6 2/3, then 5 with a pill cutter within a year. So my script was now for 5mg. After some time I tried 3 1/3mg and it was obviously a no-go zone. I just hung out on 5mg for a bit longer. I found a clinical psychologist who helped me with the usual family patterns, boundaries, spoke to trauma, helped with relationships etc. This has been very beneficial and I drink much less after that. A friend observed “I think you could get off your meds”. I was skeptical but started researching. This was an eye-opener: https://www1.bps.org.uk/system/files/user-files/Division of Clinical Psychology/public/CAT-1657.pdf It was validating my initial understanding that this was all about how I wasn’t coping with trauma, rather than innately ‘broken’. This was the first document I gave to my mother who was initially terrified but is now supportive of me coming off. I discovered Peter Breggin, reading “Your Drug May Be Your Problem” in horror. But it was empowering as well. His book “Guilt, Shame and Anxiety” helped reduce my anxiety substantially. He has a newer book “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal”, which I also recommend. There is Peter Lehmann’s “Coming off Psychiatric Drugs” too, which is valuable but a harrowing read! I told close friends and some family what I was doing. Having a safety net is the way to go. Over five months I was able to taper down from 5mg to 2.5mg by agitating a crushed tablet in a known volume of filtered water, then removing a gradually increasing portion with a large syringe (no needle!). I came down listening to my body 0.1 or 0.2mg at a time then holding for a few weeks. It was a bit of a bumpy ride but have been able to hold down my job and relationships ok. Not that it’s pleasant or easy, but it is navigable. Thanks Rhiannon for sharing your experience on making suspensions of the compound in water. I hung out at 2.5mg for six months or so. This is the smallest tablet size they sell. My family and friends have been commenting on how much more ‘with it’ I am, able to join them in more nuanced conversations again. This is extremely welcome and I realised how much I’ve been missing despite having a lot of good people and things in my life already. I took my mother for moral support and went to see the prescribing psychiatrist (same one all the way through). I started explaining that I was prediabetic, had high cholesterol, was having (apparently undiagnosable) joint problems and rheumatism, getting allergic rashes (I saw the other day the NPS web site advises people with this reaction not to take this drug!), getting hot flushes and unable to stand heat (pretty hellish in Aussie summers), and more. He didn’t want to hear about my plan - his reaction: “Keep taking it.” I said as if that wasn’t enough, what about TD? He said “Oh, it’s not that bad.” I was glad mum was there as a witness to this appalling advice. I asked him for a script for 2.5mg but he said “It’s too low. I can’t support this. I will not see you any more.” Good riddance! I got the script from my sympathetic GP. Many of these horrid symptoms have reduced or abated with the lower dose. Some remain. Fatigue is a bear. The stragglers are just a waiting game I suppose. My clinical psychologist has been supportive the whole time and confirmed my essential stability during the reductions. Her reaction to that was “well, if he says 2.5 isn’t enough, yet you’re stable, it’s a good sign that you can probably do without it altogether”. I’m now working with a clinical psychologist on the trauma I perceive as the root of all the major issues. If I’ve learnt one thing, it’s that you have to take charge of your own healing. No one else can do it for you. Shop around and find supportive crew who will back you up - they’re out there. Breggin observes that signalling helplessness is what lands you in hot water in this rather unhealthy society. I’m continuing my taper, coming down around 2mg olanzapine at the moment. Thanks to this site I’ve found the importance of the compound taper and have made a spreadsheet to manage it. I'm doing a microtaper - it's going reasonably at 10%/mo for now. It's not comfortable and some days at work are hard. But I know it's worth it. Looking at the receptor occupancy curves for olanzapine I found via this site I can see I’d already be over half way through the dopamine adjustments. That would explain why I’ve got more animated for a bit after each cut. This initially concerned mum but she’s now learnt about withdrawal symptoms. The 5-HT2 curve lies ahead, for the most part. So this could take another year or two - I’ve been poisoned with this garbage for a long time. Better though to ride it gently down and not hammer my body too much, or destabilise my life, for the best chance of a good outcome. Despite every day wanting to be rid of it ASAP. Epsom salt baths and yoga are helping me a lot. Thanks for creating this forum, Altostrata. Before the net, I probably would’ve just concluded 3 1/3mg wasn’t enough rather than learning about the taper, and been stuck.
  11. Hey all. Though as I write this I feel relatively healthy, I prefer to quit anyway. My history of this treatment is long, tough and spans 6 years. Started with Sertraline and anxiety which led me to develop psychotic symptoms, though very few of these symptoms - 1 or 2 to be exact. Either way, I suspect my diagnosis is off the mark or entirely wrong because I've had friends tell me I am healthy and family members tell me it's been 2 years since they saw symptoms of my "chronic" illness. Strangely, if we diagnosed me according to DSM and other books then I would just barely qualify for a psychotic disorder in the past, but totally not in the most recent 2 years - I got better. Anyway, as of today I settled on Zoloft 50mg and Zyprexa 15mg (brands of Sertraline, Olanzapine). These are totally ok for me. Or so I thought! Here is my plan. Blood tests came. I have high prolactin. Remains to be figured out whether this high prolactin is from sertraline or from olanzapine. All I am sure is that I definitely have poor libido and some anhedonia which are typical for high prolactin. Better if it's sertraline 'cause I may keep on taking olanzapine in that case. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, since I believed these drugs to be 100% safe for me. How do I plan to come off these drugs, and will it go well? I will just persuade my doctor to give me a tapering plan. This is my own tapering plan based on my experience and how these drugs work with my body: Sertraline, month 0: 50 mg month 1: 25 mg month 2: 0 mg Olanzapine, month 0: 15 mg - month 1: 10 mg - month 2: 7.5 mg - month 3: 5 mg - month 4: 0 mg Cheers!
  12. Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!
  13. Hi everybody, I am writing this post on behalf of my wife. Due to some possible withdrawal symptoms such as blurred vision and intense fatigue/drowsiness, my wife is currently unable to post herself. My wife was admitted to hospital in Jan 2023 for her first psychotic episode. During her stay in hospital, she took four anti-psychotic drugs (Olanzapine, Blonanserin, Haplodil Injection, Quetiapine) and three Benzodiazepines (Clonazepam, Brotizolam, Nitrazepam). A mix of up to seven psychotropic drugs kept my wife in bed all day. The psychiatrist here masks the side effects of antipsychotics such as Akathisia, Restless Legs and Drug-induced Parkinsonism by over-sedating and drowsiness. When she was discharged in February, she continued to take 10mg Olanzapine, 2mg Biperiden* as well as two Benzodiazepines (1mg Clonazepam and 0.25mg Brotizolam**). I found this forum because I am doing my best to help my wife get off (or reduce as much as possible) the psychotropic drugs she is currently taking. I cannot trust the Japanese psychiatrists who are so keen to use multiple benzodiazepines at the same time, and it is desperate that these drugs are even used just to prevent insomnia even though my wife doesn't have it. Since being discharged from hospital in Feb 22, we have been tapering the dose of Brotizolam and Clonazepam out of fear of using multiple benzodiazepines at the same time. We would like to stop the Brotizolam but keep the low dose of Clonazepam and wait for the status to stabilize before starting the Olanzapine taper. From March to April this year, the dose of Brotizolam was reduced from 0.25mg to 0.0625mg, the dose of Clonazepam was reduced from 1mg to 0.5mg and Olanzapine was always 10mg. On April 21, my wife's daily medication and supplements were as follows: 10:00 Vit C 250mg, Vit B-Complex***, Ginkgo biloba 60mg 13:00 Vit C 250mg, Vit B-Complex, Ginkgo biloba 60mg 18:30 Biperiden 1mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg, Vit E 400IU, Omega-3 1000mg 20:00 Olanzapine 10mg, Brotizolam 0.0625mg At that time, she was in a more stable state and although she had some symptoms of side effects of the medication, such as blurred vision, lack of concentration and poor short-term memory, they were all at an acceptable level and she was able to do simple light exercise every day. However, after this she experienced problems. From April 22 my wife stopped taking Brotizolam and reduced the dose of Biperiden from 1mg to 0.5mg on April 28. From April 28 till now, my wife's daily medication and supplements were as follows: 10:00 Vit C 250mg, Vit B-Complex, Ginkgo biloba 60mg 13:00 Vit C 250mg, Vit B-Complex, Ginkgo biloba 60mg 18:30 Biperiden 0.5mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg, Vit E 400IU, Omega-3 1000mg 20:00 Olanzapine 10mg Those days, April 24-30, were supposed to be her best days since her discharge from hospital. However, the situation began to turn bad on May 2 when she started to become extremely fatigued and drowsy. She goes to bed at 20:00 and struggles to get up at 10:00. Even after 13-14 hours of sleep she still felt tired, had no interest or motivation to do anything even talk to our children, and wanted to lie down during the day except to eat even though she could not fall asleep. It is usually at 17:00 that her energy returns a little and she gets up for dinner. She did not have insomnia at night but would have vivid dreams could describe the details of them when she woke up, sleep did not seem to give her brain any real rest. Although I kept holding her hands and hugging her to comfort her as much as possible, she felt overwhelmed with failure and powerlessness, she became very depressed and felt like a wreck, she was worried that her state would not improve and she was worried that she would not be able to return to work in 1 month (her sick leave was due to end in a month). This state of extreme fatigue continues to this day and the only good news is that apart from the fatigue she does not seem to have any other new noticeable withdrawal symptoms. Biperiden does not seem to have serious withdrawal symptoms (correct me if I'm wrong), it is anticholinergic medication that works to alleviate the Drug-induced Parkinsonism caused by Olanzapine, which were barely felt on the previous few dose reductions. Personally, we tend to think that it is mainly the withdrawal of Brotizolam that causes the intense fatigue, and that several Brotizolam reductions at the end of March similarly caused fatigue(slightly lighter than now), but it goes away after 2 days. Current questions: 1. Should I keep the status and be patient and wait for the withdrawal symptoms to go away? Still have 1 month of sick leave left. 2. Today is day 13 after Brotizolam withdrawal and day 4 of intense fatigue/drowsiness. If after 1 week there is still no improvement in status, should the dose of Brotizolam be resumed to 0.0625mg? or is it better to be resumed now? 3. Are there ways to reduce vivid dreams and improve the quality of sleep? 4. If Brotizolam is not resumed, what non-pharmacological methods are available to alleviate withdrawal symptom? I have searched and read some of the posts in the forum but they seem to be mainly for insomnia and anxiety, are there any methods and suggestions for fatigue relief? I wish I had found this place earlier, after reading some of the posts I realized that the Brotizolam was being tapered too quickly and that this was causing my wife's withdrawal symptoms. But it's all happened and it's no use regretting it and hopefully I can get some advice and help here to get things back on track from now on. A little help and advice would be great. Thank you for your help in advance! --------------------------- *Biperiden, sold under the brand name Akineton among others, is a medication used to treat Parkinson disease and certain drug-induced movement disorders. It is not recommended for tardive dyskinesias. Common side effects include blurred vision, dry mouth, sleepiness, constipation, and confusion. It should not be used in people with a bowel obstruction or glaucoma. Biperiden is in the anticholinergic family of medication. (From Wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biperiden) **Brotizolam, (marketed under brand name Lendormin) is a sedative-hypnotic thienotriazolodiazepine drug which is a benzodiazepine analog. It possesses anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, hypnotic, sedative and skeletal muscle relaxant properties, and is considered to be similar in effect to other short-acting hypnotic benzodiazepines such as triazolam or midazolam. It is used in the short-term treatment of severe insomnia. Brotizolam is a highly potent and short-acting hypnotic, with a typical dose ranging from 0.125 to 0.25 milligrams, which is rapidly eliminated with an average half-life of 4.4 hours (range 3.6–7.9 hours). (From Wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotizolam) ***Vit B-Complex = B1 20mg, B2 15 mg, B6 15 mg, B12 10mcg, Niacin 20mg, Pantothenic Acid 20mg, Biotin 25mcg, Folate 100mcg, Inositol 25mg
  14. Hi everyone. I think I’m a complete mess! to start this intro off I was prescribed Olanzapine while in a crisis center. I had experienced a panic attack about 3 weeks earlier and subsequently lost extreme amounts of sleep and self admitted after some severe intrusive thoughts I’ve never had before. They gave me 10mg of zyprexa while I was there for sleep, and I actually never slept once while there either. I was released 3 days later and picked up my prescription and self lowered my dose to 5mg, still no sleep. I continued on this dose for 3 days and subsequently lowered to 2.5 after visiting outpatient Dr and telling her I still had no sleep and the dosage was way to strong for me. I stayed at this dose for the next 8 days and decided I wanted off the Olanzapine anyways so I kept reducing without any advice. I lowered to 1.875 for the next 5 days and then to 1.25 for 6 days. During this time I slept for 6 of the days at 6-8 hours. I got into a naturopath and she told me at this point I could discontinue use but at this point I had read some info about tapering (not great info) and decided to take .625mg for 3 days and then stopped. So essentially I was tapering the entire time since starting the medication. I started getting emotions back while on 1.25mg and had days of anxiety and crying. Days 1-4 after stopping I had extremely restless broken sleep that total about 2-4 hours per night. Day 5 I slept 0 hours and happened to have an appointment the next day where they suggested I go back to 2.5mg to get some sleep and only use as needed for the next couple of weeks until my supplements hopefully start showing some improvement. Im lost now though. Im finding out this medication is damaging and can cause so many issues. I don’t even know where to start or how to go about any of this. I’m terrified I’ll be stuck. I don’t understand the math of tapering without a scale. I’m just feeling stressed about it all.
  15. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  16. Hi everyone, I’m a 40 year old male at the moment coping with nasty issues after the use of one tramadol tablet half January this year. let me first start where my problems with psymeds started. In the year 2016 i got prescribed Amitriptyline for neuropathic pain in a 10mg dose in the upcoming years to 2019 the dose was upped to 30mg per day. In 2019 i noticed the amitriptyline did not do anything for me anymore except that it made me sleep well. In 2019 i tapered amitriptyline based on a schedule one week 30mg next week 20mg and last week 10mg and 2 weeks after 10mg with skip days as suggested by my GP. This worked but i noticed erectile disfunction after stopping. Later i found out that this could be pssd. since the disfunction was mild and i’m in a stable relation with my partner it wasnt a real problem. the disfunction got better in the upcoming years and even had a newborn son in the meantime. until last january 24 where everything changed for me, i used one tablet of tramadol and i woke up with numb genitals the next day, in the upcoming 2 weeks i got emotionally numb, severe ED, decreased sense of touch on my skin, anhedonia, insomina, waking up and cannot sleep anymore, smell and taste got bad and my vision is not clear. I went for help at my GP who says im depressed, i prescribed me quatepine for sleep and after 3 days taking this i got suicidal ideations, so i stopped it. But the suicidal ideations did not go away. GP still says depression, and prescribes me Amitriptyline in a low dose for sleep, after a few days i feel my genitals getting number again so in 2 weeks i stopped the amitriptyline again from 40mg to 30mg to 20mg to 10mg and the stopped in one week. my GP now sent me to a psychiatrist who at the moment put me on olanzapine 5mg. my sleep is now better and suicidial ideations are in the background. ( in day time i use 3 * 10mg oxazepam to keep calm) now for upcoming week i have a new appointement again with the psych to talk about new antidepressant to go on. im not sure what to do because i think it is pssd or some sort of withdrawal im coping with. gp and psych says depression. at the moment i cant do my job or look after my family because of all this. does anybody have some advice in my situation? Could a new Antidepressant give some relieve of the symptoms im experiencing and not make them worse?
  17. Hello everyone, I’m so pleased to have found you all and very happy to be signed up to SA 😊 I’m here for my mum who was born in 1947 and is 76 years old. It’s taken me a while to get round to writing this, (massive), introduction, and some of the details are a little sketchy as mum’s memory of events aren’t always too clear. I really need some insight and advice so that I can help my mum so please let me give you some history and background – I’ll try to keep it brief! My mum has lived most of her life between Ireland and Scotland. I live in Scotland and, up until the end of 2013, my mum would split her time between her own home in Ireland and my home in Scotland. In 2013 she went to her doctor (GP) in Ireland and was referred to psychiatry and prescribed sertraline (50mg initially) for low mood and anxiety. Mum continued to take sertraline for the next three years (2013 – 2016) and was, at some point prescribed risperidone for 3 days but it made mum feel drowsy - we don’t know quite when or why this antipsychotic was prescribed but we are waiting to receive her medical records and should have a clearer picture then. I’m not sure after this date (2016) if there were any changes to mum’s meds but in February 2017 – May 2017, mum was admitted to the local psychiatric hospital presenting as catatonic and then delirious / psychotic. During her stay at the hospital, she was diagnosed with psychotic depression and received seven ECT sessions, her sertraline was increased to 200mg and olanzapine was introduced at 10mg twice a day (20mg in total) From 2017 – 2018 her drugs remained the same. In March 2018 mood dipped and we think her olanzapine may have been increased. In June 2019 re-admission to the psychiatric hospital was considered due to earlier catatonic symptoms reappearing. She avoided admission and recovered, her sertraline was switched to venlafaxine 150mg and then increased to 225mg. In November 2019 Mirtazapine (15mg) was added and in February 2020 pregabalin was introduced for anxiety (initially at 25mg twice a day but then upped to 50mg twice a day) As far as we are aware there were no changes to mum’s psychiatric meds until 2023. I should also add that she is on several other meds for other medical conditions – please see drug signature. Between 2014 and 2022 my mum remained in Ireland and, although she seemed well a good deal of the time, there would be periods where her mood was very low, and her anxiety really heightened. Sometimes when mum was like this the doctor would prescribe diazepam to help reduce the severe anxiety. When mum’s mood was low she would become increasingly anxious about everything and anything and, when spending time with my brother and his two younger children, she was very anxious that they would injure themselves or come to some harm. It was clear to me and my brother that this debilitating anxiety and constant worry was stopping her from being able to enjoy life and her grandchildren (she has always found most joy when being around her children and grandchildren). We could also see that mum’s physical health was deteriorating and we decided, in 2022, and with mum’s agreement, that it would be best if she permanently moved over to Scotland to be close to me so that I could support and be with her on a much more regular, daily basis. Mum’s mood and anxiety continued to fluctuate throughout 2022 and, due to other external factors, we couldn’t move her over here quite as quickly as we’d hoped. At the end of September 2022 she was, once again, in a very anxious/ catatonic state and narrowly avoided being admitted to the psychiatric hospital. She went to stay with my brother and his family for a week while we organized her coming over here. Although we’re not entirely certain, (as mum was living on her own), it does seem, prior to these more severe unwell periods, that mum was falling into a very anxious state and would stop eating, sleeping and we think perhaps stop taking her meds for maybe one or two doses. Mum was now living in Scotland with me, and her mood started to improve throughout October. She was offered a flat within the retirement housing complex, just a 10 minute walk away from me. With mum in Scotland we began to see a definite pattern to her mood - she would be well for around a month and then her mood would drop, out of nowhere and with no obvious trigger, and she would be super anxious with low mood for around 2 weeks and then would slowly start to improve again. In January 2023 I printed off a mood chart and we filled it in daily. In February 2023 mum had her first appointment with her new psychiatrist, (I have always been present during these appointments). I expressed concerns around seeing what I thought were some mild signs of tardive dyskinesia and mum was happy to start reducing her olanzapine with her psychiatrist’s support. The psychiatrist did not warn us about withdrawal effects or warn us to look out for anything and I, much to my deep regret, was completely unaware of the impact and dangers around dose changes in psychiatric drugs. Mum was on 15mg olanzapine, which was initially reduced to 10mg for 3 months, then to 7.5mg for 3 months, then to 5mg for 3 months. During the summer of 2023 mum experienced pain in her hip which her GP prescribed additional pregabalin for, increasing her daily dose of 50mg twice a day to 50mg twice a day with the addition of 100mg twice a day to help the pain (thereby taking her daily dose potentially up to 300mg). Mum did experience some dizziness around this time which we put down to the increased pregabalin dose. Throughout 2023 mum’s pattern continued in the same fashion as before and I noticed nothing untoward. Mum had an excellent October, remaining well for almost the entire month and I felt sure I was seeing a reduction in the tardive dyskinesia mouth movements. On October the 23rd mum’s olanzapine was further reduced from 5mg to 2.5mg. On the 26th of October mum was given her combined covid and flu vaccination – the very next day, (27th October,) she felt nauseous, dizzy, freezing cold and had general flu-like symptoms. After reading the patient info leaflet from the jag we assumed these symptoms were a side effect of the vaccination and didn’t for one moment consider that they could be related to the drop in her olanzapine dosage just a few days before… After 3 – 4 days she felt physically better but her mood had dipped - we weren’t surprised, she’d had a good month of feeling well and her mood was due to dip anyway, according to her pattern. Although mum had a tough week her mood seemed to be lifting and we went off to her psychiatry appointment. The psychiatrist asked mum how she was and she said she was OK and her mood was lifting – he asked her if she ever felt suicidal and she said no (she has never felt suicidal) he also asked if she suffered from SAD and she said no – she, like me, actually enjoys winter and the festive season very much. The psychiatrist told her to finish off her new 4 week prescription of olanzapine at 2.5mg and then she would be finished with olanzapine for good. That evening, around 6.30pm I said goodnight to mum, took a bag of her washing home with me that she asked me to do and said I’d see her tomorrow. I didn’t get any response from mum to my early morning text and, at 11.15am I decided to go and see where she was and what she was up to. I found mum unconscious in her living room – at some point during the night before she must have slipped into a delusional state and she had taken all of her month’s supply of tablets and all of the extra pregabalin that she had been prescribed. She also left a bizarre note about not wanting to be a big lady which made no sense. Mum was rushed by ambulance to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at a local hospital and my brother and I were told to prepare ourselves for the worst – she was not expected to survive. Remarkably, and against all the odds, my wee mum survived this terrible ordeal of which she has no memory, (she also has no memory of her stay at the psychiatric hospital in 2017 when she experienced psychosis). It was at this time that I started to become aware of the damaging effect of these drugs and I became convinced that what had happened to mum was most likely due to a too rapid reduction in her olanzapine. During her stay at hospital her psychiatrist visited her and as good as reprimanded her for trying to take her own life. She was experiencing an extremely low mood, confusion and some delirium at this time, she was also classed as an adult without capacity. Despite this, her psychiatrist decided to cold turkey her from all of her psychiatric meds (olanzapine, venlafaxine, mirtazapine and pregabalin) without discussing this with any family member. He did not believe that mum was experiencing withdrawal symptoms and said that any withdrawal symptoms would be long past by now. I was now also learning the dangers of abruptly stopping psychiatric meds and I became very worried for my mum’s health and this new course of action. After a phone call with me, the psychiatrist did agree to reinstate mum’s olanzapine at 5mg, at my request, and her venlafaxine, but only at 75mg. I was still worried and could see that mum was deteriorating – mum was transferred to the local psychiatric hospital and the new psychiatrist was not willing to consider my request of reinstating her mirtazapine and venlafaxine at 225mg but she did agree to increase her venlafaxine to 150mg. A few days later and, after seeing no improvement in mum she decided that mum was having paranoid thoughts so she increased mum’s olanzapine to 7.5mg without discussing this with me – she also suggested that if mum was to experience withdrawal symptoms, like I suggested she was, she would treat them with lorazepam! She, like the other psychiatrist did not agree that mum was experiencing withdrawal and she also said that any withdrawal would be over by now. I was upset to discover that mum’s care was in the hands of another psychiatrist who wasn’t following the NICE guidelines on withdrawing psychiatric meds and was in denial about the severity or seriousness of possible withdrawal effects. I would love nothing more than for my mum to be off all of these meds but I knew that this cold turkey method could be incredibly damaging. From the day her original psychiatrist made the decision to cold turkey her It took me a total of 18 days and a formal complaint before mum’s meds were reinstated on the 11th of December, at her previous dosage and the olanzapine reduced back to 5mg (I had great support from the mental Welfare Commission, by the way, just in case anyone else needs support). I don’t yet know if I did the right thing, but it was difficult to find advice. Within a week mum’s mood was back to being really good, her memory was dramatically improved, and all confusion was gone. She continued to improve over the next couple of weeks and was officially discharged from hospital on the 3rd of January - no one in the hospital could believe how well and quickly she had recovered. Apparently, according to one of the nurses, the average stay in the psychiatric hospital is 6 – 12 months. Mum was there for just 4 1/2 weeks and spent the best part of those caring for her fellow patients! So, we find ourselves almost back to square one. Mum came home and stayed with me from the 3rd of January 2024 until the 11th – she then went home but was, unfortunately only well for one day and night and the following day her mood dipped again – I was anxious about what had previously happened so brought her back to stay with us until her mood improved or until I had “GrannyCam” (Echo Show) installed so that I could keep a closer eye on her. Mum has only just gone back to her wee flat (29th January 2024) and she is still pretty anxious although she is improving slowly. And this is where we find ourselves. Many, many thanks for reading so far…😊 I am really hoping that I can help support mum to get her off her psychiatric meds – she and I are under no illusions and, given the dosage and time that she has been on this hellish cocktail of meds we are aware that there is an extremely long road ahead of her. I am hoping, initially, that you guys can help me specifically with the following questions: · Would you recommend that mum take her tablets at different times throughout the day (she has morning and evening meds - venlafaxine and pregabalin are taken in the morning and olanzapine, pregabalin and mirtazapine in the evening), and if so, when would you suggest? · I feel that the first drug to taper should be the remaining 5mg of Olanzapine – do you think this is right? · When do you think it would be the right time to restart the olanzapine taper? And does anyone know if I can source taper strips in the UK on the NHS? · Has anyone ever experienced these periods of wellness and then periods of low mood and severe anxiety in a pattern such as I’ve described? Could these be some kind of Waves and Windows, bearing in mind that she was experiencing them prior to starting any kind of drug reduction · What can I do to help mum with this terrible anxiety? I have very recently bought her some chelated magnesium and she has had a couple of low doses of that over the last few days (but has avoided taking them 2 hours before or after her pregabalin, as per the SA advice on magnesium) · I am obviously very worried that there may be a repeat of what happened to mum on the evening of the 9th of November given that, aside from the flu like symptoms, there wasn’t much to warn me to be on the look out for such a severe reaction. Do you think that now that I know a little about what to look out for with withdrawal symptoms I will be able to pick up on times like this should they arise in the future when mum is tapering from her meds? Any and all advice will be extremely welcome – thank you all so much in advance and my apologies for the massive essay! Chris (tine) 😊💚 x x
  18. Hi. I was at psyc ward after psychosis and my sleep was not perfect so i was put on zyprexa. I accepted to get out of there. I was on 20mg 2days then 10mg for 10days until i was released. When released I stopped cold turkey and and waited 3-4weeks before withdrawals came. Worst was my complete insomnia.. didnt sleep for 7 days so i had to reinstate. I went back on last dose 10mg. Immediately i felt it was a bad idea but i had to sleep. i tried to taper it off over a month. I had all side effects you could think so finally I just stopped again and used sleep pills to beat insomnia. Problem now 6months later(stopped oct2015) is that i still have insomnia. barely sleeps at all(1-4hrs) What advice do you guys have? From what ive read, this forum advice me to start on a small dose and taper from there am i right? I really dont want to reinstate since it slmost killed me but i dont know how to solve this either..
  19. Hi all! Before I get into my introduction, I’d like to commend you all, it’s inspiring to see you all stay so positive and consistent in your attempts to reduce/remove these drugs from your life. I’ve been eager to join this platform in attempts to begin my own journey! Introduction I am a F(25) and got sick when I was 24. I was given these drugs due to a FEP. Naturally I am a sensitive/dramatic person so I failed to believe my FEP was actually as serious as stated. Although, I was hospitalized and told I would need to take the medication for a year in order to prevent relapse. Due to naivety and lack of knowledge and the huge levels of sedation the drugs brought me, I stopped them after 3 weeks. Besides I had stopped antibiotics before and never experienced any harm. I was fine for 5 months then I started experiencing extreme paranoia, related to my phone in which I went to the police station in order to report someone tracking my phone. The police sent me to the hospital and I was hospitalized for 4 days, in which I was reinstated 5mg of Olanzapine. I was then released and had cold turkeyed olanzapine again as before I was fine dir 6months and thought it would play out again. 12 days later I had what I call my first real episode of psychosis occurred. I was hospitalized again this time for 1 month. I have amnesia as to what happened in the hospital due to the cocktail I was put on and when I came around I was told I was a paranoid schizophrenic. All this happened within the space of 6 months. Reason for joining I am trying to get assistance to begin my taper as I truly believe my cold turkeys caused my illness. I don’t think I was ill beforehand. I express concern about something I cared about in a manner I saw fit and then was diagnosed as schizophrenic. I didn’t do anything to extreme to receive such a diagnosis. So I am hoping to taper off this drug or Atleast reduce my dose as low as possible as I am on a high dose at the moment. Life post psychosis Many things have changed, in terms of my capability. I am not as intelligent as I was pre-Zyprexa and it’s very evident that the drug has affected my thinking in terms of coherency of thought, conversation and even managed to dampen all of my emotions. I don’t feel anything I am numb and it’s brought me from a super driven highly motivated individual to someone who geninuely does not care about anything. Also lost my sleep and can not sleep untill I take an olanzapine tablet which is also wearing off at the moment. Current medication I am currently on 7.5mg of olanzapine and 2.5mg of abilify. I am not great at maths or anything that has to be done systematically and I have read a lot of the threads already and I can’t seem to find out how to begin this journey of tapering: if anyone could explain it as if I was 6 years old that would be great as that’s the capacity I am working with at the moment. any help or replies or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!
  20. I was looking for something else and ran across these articles. Apparently there has been an association for nearly 20 years now that anti psychotics, especially risperidone, used long term can be a potential cause of pituitary tumors. Recent studies are firming this up and finding an association. Great 🫢 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30531551/ https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Fulltext/2012/12000/Atypical_Antipsychotics_and_Pituitary_Tumors.1.aspx https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/antipsychotic-drug-may-be-linked-pituitary
  21. Hi everyone, I've been a long time recipient of the psychiatric system since I believe 2008/2009. Eventually, I was labelled schizophrenic (and recently labelled "anxiety disorder"). Of course, I am very skeptical of the psychiatry paradigm. I totally forgot my medication past but I have been on Risperdal before, which is all I remember. Right now, the psych drugs I am on are 1mg Benztropine (mornings), Divalproex 500mg S,T,Th,Sat (night), Divalproex 750mg M,W,F (night), and Olanzapine 10mg daily. I used to but stopped Minoxidil. I also take Omega 3 fish oil and vitamin d3. My moods have been usually stable. I have been hospitalized in the past but been stable for at most 7 years. I do have somewhat of a problem with my sleep as I stay up late (and many times have difficulty falling asleep) many times past midnight, and get out of bed late usually 11am or even past noon. I used to run and do exercises but have stopped recently. Sometimes, I do have some anger and frustration. I want to eventually lower my dosages to the lowest possible if not completely. I was wondering which of the psychotropic medications should I lower first? Should I lower one at a time or do a combination of lowering? I read a bit about multiple drug tapering on this site. I read the Inner Compass Project site. I've visited various blogs. I also looked elsewhere. I read that benztropine is not a benzodiazepine but an anticholinergic antiparkinson agent. Is that true? I think I already messed up with my doctor. She has never had a patient who has deprescribed completely and probably wants me on the medication for life. I also have no allies in my family as they are in the medical profession, have seen me at my worst, and they probably believe that any form of psychiatry skepticism is anti-medicine/anti-science. Thanks for any constructive help, WishforBest
  22. bloomseine

    Bloomseine

    Hello, I was prescribed olanzapine 10mg three years ago for postnatal psychosis. I have experienced side effects from this so they kept me on it sometimes upping my dose. I was also put on sertraline two years ago. I am now on 10.7mg of Olanzapine and 100mg of sertraline.I plan to lower my olanzapine 5% every two weeks until I get to a lower dose of 2.5mg then I will lower my sertraline before coming fully off the olanzapine. I have not yet discussed this with my doctor I will ask him to prescribe me a lower dose every three months when I see him as he does not agree with me coming off of it completely.
  23. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  24. I would be incredibly grateful for some advice about antidepressant withdrawal. I don't trust my doctors or psychiatrists anymore. I am 40 years old with no history of mental illness until about 11 months ago, when I began overreacting to a number of problems in my life like skin issues and threats of lawsuits, and this led to a two-month period of psychosis that gave rise to severe depression (according to the doctors here). It was very intense. I live in Frankfurt, Germany. Once I began to calm down and realize that these fears were unjustified (around February), the depression symptoms seemed to get worse, and I began to have physical problems like dizziness, vertigo, and derealization. This led me to think there was some neurological damage, and so I had an MRI and EEG done but with no findings. I began seeing a psychiatrist around this time, who gave me a prescription for Olanzapine, but I didn’t take it due to my strong aversion to pharmaceutical medication. However, by mid-March I was feeling so awful and had starting having difficulty sleeping. I could fall asleep, but I would wake up after three or four hours and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t see any other option but to check into an inpatient clinic, where the doctors started me on 5mg Olanzapine and 50mg Sertraline. The Olanzapine helped me sleep, and I was hopeful that the antidepressant would begin working quickly. After a few days, the dizziness and derealization subsided. However, after about seven weeks (and increases to 100mg and 150mg), I was still feeling depressed, and the doctors switched me to Venlafaxine in late May, initially 75mg but quickly increased to 225mg. It was at this time that I left the inpatient clinic with the intent of continuing Venlafaxine at home. Occasionally I tried skipping the Olanzapine, but whenever I did I couldn’t stay asleep. And after six weeks of Venlafaxine, I felt no better and decided to discontinue (against the advice of my psychiatrist). I tapered down to 150mg to 75mg to 37.5mg over a period of 15 days (each dose for five days). I completed the taper in mid-July. I didn’t notice any withdrawal symptoms during the taper, but once I was off completely, the brain zaps, nausea, and restless legs began. But I also noticed that I no longer needed the Olanzapine to sleep well, as if the Venlafaxine had been causing the insomnia. The brain zaps were not painful and didn’t bother me too much since I was expecting them to go away soon. And after about two weeks, the zaps were hardly noticeable and I was feeling much better. I was happy about this because it was just a few days before a vacation I had planned to Florida. Throughout the entire 10-day vacation site-seeing and soaking up the sun, I hardly noticed any symptoms at all and my mood was great. It was as if I was completed cured. Unfortunately, the very day I returned to Germany at 7am from a long overnight flight (this past Sunday), I began feeling unwell again, like nauseous or a queasy feeling in my stomach and chest accompanied by low moods. I was hoping it was due to jet lag, but it’s been an entire week now and there hasn’t been any improvement. I can still sleep well fortunately but I have a pronounced feeling of being unwell most of the time and I feel very fatigued and unmotivated to do much. No dizziness, pain, or cognitive issues. Given that I felt virtually symptom-free while in vacation, are my current symptoms are more likely to be a continuation of the withdrawal or some sort of (travel-induced) depression relapse, or something else? Could I already be going through windows and waves just a month after stopping the antidepressants? Just to summarize, I was on antidepressants from mid-March to mid-July, including the two-week taper. So about eight weeks on Sertraline (mostly 100mg) followed immediately by eight weeks on Venlafaxine (mostly 225mg). I was also taking Olanzapine for most of that time, occasionally taking Pipamperone instead. Thanks in advance for the help and insight!
  25. Attila

    Attila

    Hi Everyone! A friend of my recommended this site where l hope to get some support. For 2years ago around the covid l collapsed mentaly and the Anafranil l used to take did not worked anymore. After that my doc tried 10different antidepressants (ssri ssrn etc) none of those seemd to work. I feltbso bad that l spent 4week in a mental clinic where they described my Parnassan (10mg in the evening) Agomelatin (50mg in the evening) Lamolep (100mg in the evening), but somehow l dont feel better. At the moment my anxiety is that strong that l had to take Frontin (benzo) 0,25mg to calm down. I am so fed up this meds those are poisoning me l am sure. I dont know what to do, how to start getting off them. l take also some supplements like magnesium, omega3, copper, zinc, b complex, probiotics l would appreciate some support! thank you
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