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Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. (English is not my first language) Back in June 2017, I tried Mushrooms (psychedelic) for the first time and unfortunately had a bad trip. It lasted for about 4 hours and after that It wore off. A week later I woke up with heart palpitation, a very weird feeling (now I know it was derealization),stiff neck and a weird feeling on top of my head. At that time, I had never heard the word "Anxiety" in my life and didn’t know that I was experiencing panic attack. It got worse and turned into health anxiety and some kind of checking symptoms OCD. I saw multiple doctors and they first gave me Clonazepam which I took for a month and then I stopped it because I heard it might cause addiction. Then they put me on Gabapentin which cause me feeling my skin is burning which lasted almost 3 months. Then I tried Lexapro for two weeks which was my first exposure to SSRI. I stopped it because it made me more anxious. I almost gave up and was bedridden until in 2018 one doctor who was very famous put me on a cocktail of 25mg Clomipramine, 20mg Paxil and 2.5 mg Olanzapine. This was the first time I experienced depersonalization, completely out of body experience, very scary but because of the cocktails I was numb to my condition. He insisted on staying on the medication and I did. I got better after two months, and he stopped Olanzapine and after 6 months I stopped Clomipramine and increased my Paxil to 40mg. I was fine for two years and then I decided to tape it and come off it. It took me almost a year to be off the Paxil with no withdrawal at all. 4 month later in 2021 out of nowhere I started to have the same weird head feeling like there is a heavy weight on my head, my eyes were blurry, stiff neck, tinnitus, clogged ear and… So I freak out and was searching for herbs to calm my anxiety, I tried St John Wart and then again my DP came back with severe OCD. I have been checking every single word, thought, and any body sensation in my mind to see if I feel normal! (if that makes any sense at all) So after a month of struggling again I went to the same doctor and he put me on Paxil 20 and increased it to 40mg in 2 months. It got me 100 times more anxious, sever DP/DR, severe OCD, almost lost my mind. Then he decided to decrease it to 20 and follow the same cocktail that worked on mt last time by adding 25 mg clomipramine. I got better but not so much so he stopped Paxil and increase clomipramine to 75mg. I was still struggling with DP/DR, OCD and anxiety and he decided to try Lexapro and bump me to 20mg in 2 months. At this point I gave up on my future and my health, and was just following whatever he said hopingto see a minor improvement. I was getting worse by day and then I started to tape myself to 0 in 11 months. Unfortunately, I found your group late and now I am experiencing all possible symptoms including: DP( I don’t know if it is DP since I don’t have the out of body experience but I feel disconnected from myself, my wife and my mom, OCD, complete emotional blunting, head pressure, weird head feeling like all my head muscles are tight, tinnitus, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, tooth ache, a little anxiety which is weird like I am numb and doesn't even feel anxiety anymore. So that’s about it, sorry for long introduction and hope someone can help me and guide me through this time.

Hi, I would like to introduce myself as I’m new to the forum. I’m really glad I found this website – some really good information regarding withdrawal and can definitely see some of the characteristic signs of withdrawal in what I’ve experienced since reducing some of my psychiatric medication. So to give you a bit of background about what drove me to investigate adverse effects to psychiatric medication – both being on it and trying to get off it! (Sorry it’s a bit long!). It all started with a psychotic episode that I endured for 3 months before finally getting help. I know that I needed some treatment – I wasn’t getting better on my own and I was struggling to live my life not to mention being scared out of my wits most of the time. I have no problem with the fact that I needed psychiatric medicine to intervene at this time. I was put on mirtazapine as the doctors put my symptoms down to depression. I started sleeping again which I hadn’t been doing for more than 2 – 3 hours a night for over 3 months. Very quickly the worst of the psychotic symptoms – the paranoia, fear of being in the house and the worst of the voices went away and I started living my life again. However, I still had some residual voices which I wanted to get rid of. I saw a psychiatrist and he prescribed aripiprazole and this is where everything started to go downhill. I wish I had just lived with the voices as they weren’t very bad (certainly nothing like when I was first ill.) and I felt good on the mirtazapine. The aripiprazole made me extremely depressed and gave me bad anxiety. The psych tried upping my dose of mirtazapine to 45mg to combat this. This left me extremely agitated and unable to sleep at all for days so I reduced it back down. I decided to taper off the aripiprazole. For a whole month after reducing the aripiprazole I had the worst suicidal depression I have ever had, which took me back to the psychiatrist. He changed my medication completely – taking me off the mirtazapine which had worked initially and putting me on sertraline and olanzapine. This, also has been a disaster. I wish I had just ridden out the depression after the aripiprazole which I expect was withdrawal symptoms. I think the sertraline gave me anxiety, although I would have a few good days here and there, so just thought the dose needed increasing. Ended up on 200mg sertraline and 7.5mg olanzapine for good measure. I was so anxious I was having trouble just talking to people about very mundane things, as well as days of bad depression, punctuated by a few good days here and there. I also still had some voices so the anti-psychotic wasn’t that helpful anyway. Eventually the inability to live my life properly made me suicidal and I told the psychiatrist that we needed to do something. I wanted to go back onto mirtazapine and get off the sertraline. He wouldn’t take me off the sertraline but did agree to add mirtazapine back into the mix so I was on 200mg sertraline, 30mg mirtazapine and 7.5mg olanzapine. I definitely improved with the addition of the mirtazapine but still felt the sertraline was doing more harm than good so set about reducing it once I had stabilised after the addition of the mirtazapine. I reduced from 200 down to 50mg over the course of 6 weeks – back in January 2019. Way too fast. Have been experiencing waves of severe depression and crying spells (although these are getting less intense) and windows where I have felt better. Generally apart from the nasty waves I feel much better than I did when on 200mg sertraline. Have also decreased the olanzapine to 5mg which resulted in 6 weeks of extreme fatigue and severe depression again. Ironically, since the addition of the mirtazapine and in combination with the olanzapine the voices have nearly gone. My aim is to get off the sertraline completely and also get off the olanzapine, which makes me very tired and lacking in motivation. I am holding for the moment as we are due to go on holiday in 5 weeks time and I don’t want to have any nasty withdrawal symptoms to deal with. I would like to do the remainder of the reductions with your support as doing it with people who understand what you are going through will, I reckon, make it a whole lot easier. I look forward to interacting with you all.

I am in the process of tapering off zyprexa. I started zyprexa in 1996 and and was on 10mg until i decided to start reducing in October 2017 . I reduced it to 7.5mg for a year, and than 5mg and in April 2020 i began 2.5mg. Have been on 2.5mg for 4 months now The only thing i find difficult is the lack of deep sleep and the pain in all my joints...the pain in my joints only started happening since i started on 2.5mg..Also lower back pain, first i thought it was from my bed mattress but i changed beds and no relief...and i havnt injured myself in anyway....all i can put it down to, is my reduced zyprexa. Also since reducing it to 2.5mg i have been getting face sores...always had good skin up until then...so thats a problem that annoys me.. I am planing on staying on 2.5mg for the next 6 months and than try and taper at 10% reduction each month over 12 months to zero.. i want to do it slowiy as it affects my ability to sleep. I have to somehow figure out how i can taper off so slowly as what i have read is the tablet it isnt soluble in water...I live in Australia and am looking at compounding labs to find out if i can somehow have it done...I have been on this drug since 1996 and i am over it...i am doing it on my own with no doctors apart from just getting my repeats from my GP (not a psch doc). any advice would be most appreciated. cheers

Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.

Hello, I am Shors and I am in very bad spot and have an extremely serious case due to Zyprexa misuse, and pre zyprexa insomnia. I recognize that this case is rather complex, and that there are many aspects of this case that require me to see neurologists and such, but if you could take the time to read it yourself and provide your own input that would be great as I am very inexperienced and novice. I have had insomnia for about a year before taking zyprexa, and about four years before the original insomnia developed I was neglecting my sleep (mostly in high school). This, in total, five year period of worsening sleep created for me memory problems independent of olanzapine. I believe these memory problems are mostly due to a lack of energy from no sleep, as I've experience great improvements in memory when I have managed to get rest. So the neglect of sleep began in 2014, wake up insomnia developed in mid 2018, and I was sent to the psych ward in late 2019 to be put on zyprexa. I would say also that the memory problems started to happen around 2016, but I didn’t notice them until I got my first job in 2017. I was really terrible at it because it required me to remember many things at a time. I was in the psych ward for two weeks, and immediately stopped taking my cocktail of drugs except for the zyprexa (unknown dose) when I was released because it helped me sleep. I took the zyprexa for two more weeks but stopped, however, due to the terrible effects. I was completely unaware about the severe withdrawal effect of insomnia though, and if I was aware of It probably could have been zyprexa free at this point. I just didn't think that increased severe insomnia was due to zyprexa since I had already been experiencing insomnia before then. Attributing mainly weight loss and memory problems as the main problems to the drug, I would continue to unknowingly suffer withdrawal induced insomnia for the following months. In this period I would continue to work with my psych to get different sleeping pills. Ambien, Restoril, etc. and they did not work. The psych I was with (and am still currently with) was really careless, and he just played along and let me take whatever pills I wanted to take. In a new town and picked up a night job, and desperate to find any kind of drug that could put me to sleep, I eventually was prescribed one bottle (likely 10mg) of olanzapine again by the local clinic. I took it inconsistently, 5-10 days in between (since I was able to sleep fine in the inbetween days of doses) and sometimes weeks apart, but the one bottle I was prescribed then lasted a good bit. Eventually I could not take the night job after only four months working there and I moved back home. Without Zyprexa I suffered intensely, and for maybe a couple months after finishing that bottle I started to experience nausea and vomiting. It was at this time that I started to complain about the symptoms to my primary care provider, who never once thought that these could be withdrawal symptoms. She referred me to get mris done, neuropsych, all said that things were normal. I mistakenly thought that the nausea was caused by a circadian rhythm disorder and desperate to rid myself of these symptoms, I asked my psych to be put back on Zyprexa again (10mg). Back to the sleep induced memory problems, it seems as though for this entire five year period, whenever I do not get sleep or good quality sleep for an extended period of time, that I start to shut down. I become mentally slow, cannot socialize, unable to think, etc. and this is without zyprexa. For the period in which I started to experience nausea and vomiting for the first time, this is especially true. When I took zyprexa that time and got the rest I needed, it really helped and restored me back to working order. That did not mean I wasn't cautious about the effects, I took it only for about 3 weeks to give me my energy back and then began taking it inconsistently again. The main reason for the inconsistency (again) was to minimize the side effects, of weight gain and memory problems, and that I would continue to sleep well for some days after each dose. This continued to go well for me until around . As I've become dependent on Zyprexa, I have gotten less and less sleep over time, and slowly because of this my memory problems have gotten ever so worse. Up to this point, this would make about one year of total Zyprexa use, inconsistent or consistent, and I would say maybe 4-6 months worth of bottles. I believe that my memory, independently of zyprexa, has dipped to a new low, because of my memory I cannot enjoy music, movies, books, studying, socialization, or even work. This will greatly affect how I will start my recovery process from zyprexa. At this point I was deciding which options I would take for my recovery process. The options for me would have been this: Quitting cold turkey, would not have worked as I would have experienced terrible memory loss from the sleep deprivation Inconsistent tapering, this might have worked but my memory could have also worsened as I was sleeping less on the in between days of taking meds. Take zyprexa or a month or two to restore sleep and get some more energy Continuous taper Cross tapering by introducing other sleeping medications, doing this with an inconsistent taper with olanzapine would have added a world of complexity for me Quit cold turkey and then take other sleeping meds, but understandably this would end in disaster The option I eventually chose was to do a long continuous taper with a reduction of my dose of 10% a month, with making 5% reductions a possibility when I get to the lower doses. I understand that this might not have been the best idea when for my past years I have only ever been taking it inconsistently. I don’t really know how this might have affected me so some of your input would be welcome. I am down to 5.8 mg at this point and am continuing with this taper. My method of tapering involves crushing my tablets with a pill crusher, putting them inside gelatin capsules, and weighting the capsules on a drug scale. Making whatever adjustments are necessary by adding, removing the powder from the capsule until I get the exact weight measurement right. I would also have to reiterate that my memory problems are severe at this point. I forget many things in normal conversation when I talk to people. It's near impossible for me to read books or watch movies. I am getting a neuropsych test done soon. it seems like, even though I've had memory problems for a good 6 years, they only ever became a problem until these past 2 years, where I cannot study or do basic things in life. If I ever recover, a full recovery is not what I'm asking for. Just enough to let me have the quality of life I want.

Hello, I was not drug free for a long time. I got depressed again a so ended on drugs again. Did not know what else to do. Doing quite poorly now. I have a lot of anxiety and trouble sleeping. Currently, on 50mg sertraline and 25mg agomelatine. Weird thing is that even when I am in a good mood and anxiety is at bay I wont be able to fell asleep. Whenever I feel my brain is slumbering off then "zzap" and I wake up. I think it is the sertraline, that is preventing me from sleep. I'm just in a bad place mentally and cannot try to discontinue the drug as I'd than spiral downward into even more terrible depressions and anxiety. I tried to quit the sertraline CT once and endured it only for 3 days. It was much worse than Venlafaxine withdrawal that I once experienced. It is definitely possible. Or the the Sleep Apnoea is just accidental finding. Lot of people have mild apnoa, but re asymptomatic.

Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

Hi all you good Folk, I haven't posted in this group for a long-time. I posted a little bit in 2017 when I got to 0 with my effexor taper, which was far too fast. There was no choice for me given my scenario, so I know how devastating withdrawal can be from these drugs. I'm a moderator in an effexor group. My dear Mum, bless her angelic soul, has been on these drugs longer than she hasn't, and although i.ve told her much about the need for very careful tapering and drs cluelessness around this her dr has reduced her dose of olanzapine from 5-2.5 mg. I.ve told her to write down anything at all that.s out of the ordinary and tell me. My dad.s watching out for her but from his dr believing position i feel he wont be of much use to her. Nor will her dr. I guess i.m asking if wd symptoms are in the same park between effexor and olanzapine. I think i already know the answer but just want to be aware of any possible different wd symptoms between them. Another probably difficult to answer question, might dropping from 5-2.5 olanzapine be similar to dropping effexor from 75-37.5? You know, entering the danger zone as the lower end is approached? Her drs reduced her effexor from 225-112.5 in 37.5 increments over quite a while and she.s well and truly stable from that. I do cringe at the size of the drops and am frustrated by the belief some of my family have in the "wisdom" of drs in this regard. I know how dangerous this is. I.ve told her much about wd so hopefully she.ll be on red alert and ready to consider my help when the need arises. I saw a link on how to prepare a liquid solution here with olanzapine and will have a good look at it. Thanks for your time.

Hello, I have a question regarding Olanzapine tapper and reinstatement. I was dropping Olanzapine by 0.5 mg a month. I started to experience problems with sleep when I got to 1 mg. So I went back to 1.5 mg. Sleep improved for several days, but then it started to deteriorate again. Today I slept only 2 hours and experienced weird phenomena, I think it is called hypnagogia. Yesterday was actually better as I slept 7 hours in total - broken into 1 - 2 hours segments. I'm thinking about going back to 2.5 mg, but fear it will not help either. Thank you

I was put on 2.5mg of Olanzapine for racing thoughts/anxiety and as a sleep-aid. I was mostly taking 1.25mg though. I wish I had done the research before taking it!! I would have never taken it if I had known it would be like this, and cause such changes to the brain. So, I've decided to just stop taking it cold turkey, as I figure that having only been on 1.25mg - 2.5mg for most of the 3 weeks, and... (5.0 for 2 days near the end) it for 3 weeks total, it's best to just stop without adding length to the drug being in my system. The dose I've been taking is small also, however, I am very medicine sensitive. I'm so worried about side-effects from withdrawing... I was using the phone and laptop last night until 3am to distract me until I felt relaxed enough to try and get some sleep, which I eventually did at about 3.30am. I was researching all about Olanzapine withdrawals and looking at many videos people posted on YouTube regarding this. It was slightly comforting. I had very vivid dreams, as I have been having on the Olanzapine, only they somehow felt even MORE vivid. I can still remember the dreams easily enough if I try and this makes me feel anxious as I experience derealization/depersonalization every day I feel. I woke up a few times this morning. First at about 6am. Felt like absolute crap. Depression, comparable to the “come down” after a high from ecstasy etc. Managed to sleep again, even with an anxiety-induced racing heart, falling into that vivid dream-filled, seemingly shallow sleep. Woke again before my wife got up at 8am, but once again, managed to fall asleep before she left the house. It’s 12.15pm now, and I feel very depressed. I feel no joy and I have anxiety that is bubbling behind this cloud of depression. Obsessive, intrusive thoughts are frequent, and I don’t want to do anything at all today. I feel so very low. I find it extremely difficult to even write this, but I’m trying as I know it is something positive, to be keeping track of my progress. I really hope I feel better soon. I’m very nervous about what to expect. I feel like it can’t get worse than this, as I feel absolutely hopeless, with no happy feelings…I’m just so depressed. I’ve been thinking about trying Effexor XR, as I’m experiencing this crippling feeling of depression, and I’ve been feeling about the same way for the past 3 days, give or take. I actually started feeling this low after I re-commenced on Olanzapine 2.5mg after a 2 day trial of withdrawing from it after I took one 5mg tablet. I started feeling this low after taking that last 2.5mg tablet. Well, that’s all I have to write for now. I feel so low… (My question to people who have successfully stopped Olanzapine) - Will I ever feel ok again? Will I find the old me..? Is 3 weeks and the dose I've been on not small..? I was taking it for 3 weeks, and mostly (for about 75% of those 3 weeks) 1.25mg (splitting 2.5mg in half) along with taking 0.625mg (splitting the 2.5mg in half) as I’m very med sensitive and nervous in general about medication. UPDATE on DAY 2 of Olanzapine WIthdrawal It is now 5.10pm in the afternoon. I am still feeling depressed and have racing thoughts which are causing me anxiety on a high level. I feel like I have lost myself, and I'm afraid that I won't be happy again. This depression is so bad that I managed to talk to a psychiatrist in the day hospital and she prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg (taking half of 15mg). I really hope this will help me through this, as I am feeling rather hopeless and lost... Has anyone used antidepressants to ease coming off of Olanzapine? Thanks. UPDATE on DAY 3 I slept from some time after 1.30am while listening to a YouTube video. My sleep felt very shallow with vivid dreams, which I can't recall clearly now, but I don't think they were particularly good dreams. Woke up at 6am. Immediate panic. Still empty, no, worse... no feelings at all, just fear/panic. Perhaps this is due to my receptors being messed around with from the 3 weeks on Olanzapine? Is 3 weeks enough time to do irreversible, permanent damage to the brain? I wish I had some answer... I used my phone to watch videos of people's journey of withdrawing. I couldn't seem to find enough. I continued to watch videos until about 9.30am when I got out of bed with my wife. It is 10.20am now. I'm trying to remain active, even though doing things is just so difficult! I washed the dishes. I managed to eat a banana. My wife made me a cup of hot milk. Thinking about eating food makes me feel quite nauseated. I have zero appetite. My thoughts don't seem to stop. I wonder about the point of existence. Humans as creatures - what, really, is the point? I have depersonalization and derealization for at least 4 months now, and I think about every little thing I do or see... I'm just so tired and stressed! I'll continue to update. Thank you everyone, and I hope to hear some friendly people! Shane.

Hi, My name is Naomi, I live in Canada I am in withdrawal from poly drugged over 31 years I am presenting off all meds except one as of November 4th-2020 I experience intrusive thoughts, hyper awareness of my body and thoughts, scary panic and anxiety, mood swings, fear, fear, fear Question my sanity every day Never had this before in my life Looking for connection with others experiencing withdrawal and any tips to survive this Feel trapped inside my mind and scared of self I am also going through Peri menopause which is making things very complicated I also lost the light of my life daughter June 2019 Hanging on Thank you Naomi History Anafranil 1990-2000 Paxil Cipralex Zoloft 2020 - after taking expired amoxicillin, developed severe insomnia, Spiralled - 2x hospitalization, poly drugged, Benzos, sleeping pills, paxil, cipralex, trazodone, olanzapine, luvox, elavil, everything made me worse Presently taking Olanazpine 0.9mg for sleep Melatonin 3mg for sleep Vit D

Hi all I was put on 10mg Olanzapine for a manic episode 4 months ago, since then I've come to learn more about this drug and realise I didn't want to be on it long term if I could help it. I Started a too fast taper from 10mg - 7.5mg 29th Jan, 8th Feb down to 6.25mg, 17th feb down to 5mg, 24th Feb down to 2.5mg. Here is where the effects got really bad and I started getting even worse horrendous anxiety, anhedonia, loss of appetite and thoughts of self harm. On wednesday 1st March I went back up to 5mg to try and stop these effects from the big jump of 5mg to 2.5mg but it seems to be helping only a little to have gone back up. Should I go to a dose in between like 3.75mg or hold at 5mg? Any advice please? I know I should be going a lot slower but I've only been on a few months so thought I could go more quickly.

After three years of sobriety from alcohol, I had a two day relapse of moderate/minimal drinking. This may have started my minor “kindled” withdrawal, that slowly deteriorated my sleep. A month later I was at the hospital because I hadn’t slept in days, was extremely anxious, and had a tremor that I wanted to check out. I ended up being given Zyprexa/Olanzapine 5mg and sent home to eventually see my psychiatrist. Days later my psychiatrist saw me and I went down to 2.5mg after being on 5 for 3 days. Took 2.5mg for 2 weeks, 1.75 for one, then stopped. Two weeks later took 2.5mg again after insomnia for 1.5 weeks slowly dosing down again to 1.75, then stopped. At the same time I started taking Mirtazapine, which helped for sleep and got me “off” olanzapine. A month later I’m struggling with sleep still, 4-5 hours a night, extremely fragmented. Not sure if this is the Zyprexa/Olanzapine WD, or Mirtazapine causing this. I DO NOT want to take Olanzapine again, really no matter what, wondering how I should go about my Mirtazapine treatment? I’m still relatively new to these drugs, been on Mirtazapine for 7 weeks, however I know if I come off this drug I won’t be able to sleep, and risk having an episode that leads me to ER and back on Olanzapine. Not sure what to do… Olanzapine: 5mg 3 days 2.5mg 2 weeks, two week break, 1 weeks 2.5, 1 week 1.75mg. mirtazapine: 22.5 mg current. started m: 7.5mg for 2 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 22.5mg 3 weeks.

Hello everyone, I’m a 25 year old male from Texas. My journey started January 2016, when I experienced a panic attack (that appeared to come out of the blue) on my way to visit my sister while I was riding a bus. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I felt like I was about to pass out. From that day on, I started to have panic attacks that would last all day for several days. I wasn’t sure what was going on so I asked my mom to take me to the doctor. The doctor said I was having panic attacks and also anxiety. He prescribed me a Mexican medication named Adepsique (I live in a border town and decided to go there since health care is way cheaper there than in the US). I took that medication for around 6 months and started to have suicidal ideation and just felt in a low mood most of the time. I attributed those symptoms to the medication and “tapered” off it fairly quick. Once I was fully off it, I started to have unbearable insomnia/anxiety and wasn’t able to sleep for about two days. I felt like I was going crazy so I asked my mom if she could take me to an actual psychiatrist and she obliged. The psychiatrist prescribed me 10 mg of escitalopram and 2.5 mg of olanzapine. I don’t really feel like it helped that much but I felt better on it. I decided I didn’t want to be on medication for the rest of my life so I decided to start tapering it off. I might’ve tapered too quickly off it but I was just anxious to get off those medications. I don’t really remember how long the taper lasted but I was off both medications by the last week of April 2018. I dealt with several withdrawal symptoms such as suicidal thoughts, anxiety, mild motion sickness, insomnia, irritably, aggression and intrusive thoughts. That lasted most of 2018. Around October of that year, I started dealing with IBS-like symptoms such as stomach pain, frequent gas, constant bowel movements and urgent bowel movements. Most of my other withdrawal symptoms have been reduced but I’m still stuck with the IBS issues to this day. Although I’ve been suffering for these last couple of years, I’ve felt like I’ve grown a lot as a person. I have changed my diet to a whole-foods plant based diet, I exercise daily, and do things I wouldn’t have thought I would do when I was younger. Sorry if this post is too long.

Does this living hell of antidepressant withdrawal ever cease? I was prescribed Pristiq just before the age of 14 - I'm 19, turning 20 this year - and have been on a high dose of 150mg for quite some time. I had also been prescribed 2.5-5mg Olanzapine for insomnia (which I've now cut out completely) & 30-40mg Vyvanse (I'm currently on 30mg & hope to eventually taper off that too). I feel so freaking betrayed by the psychiatrists - the root cause of my low mood, self harming behaviours & suicidality was never investigated and almost instantly I was fast-tracked to antidepressants without being warned of the consequences. A young teen experiencing emotional pain, I wanted a quick fix, but little did I know that drugs would never resolve the depression caused by social isolation, loneliness, puberty, & other temporary life stressors. I was put on Olanzapine during an inpatient admission for suicidal ideation in 2017 & again, I wasn't told about any of the side effects, including rapid weight gain. I hated that drug; I gained 5kgs during that short hospital stay, and this was a huge shock - it didn't register that this was because of the antipsychotic until years later. When I started restricting my food intake to try & get back to my initial weight, I was told I had 'anorexia' (without being assessed), thrown back into psych, then outpatient 'treatment' which honestly only did more harm. I didn't realise how harmful psychotropic drugs can be & the lack of evidence behind them, until mid 2022, when I quit the Olanzapine cold-turkey and began to experience awful withdrawal symptoms - I was suddenly bursting into tears for no reason, hyperventilating & had no sleep for days on end. I had no idea what was happening & during one of these panicky breakdowns, I started researching, which led me to a bunch of comment threads of fellow withdrawal sufferers warning others about these drugs- and then this forum. Shortly after, I decided I wanted to get off all my medication altogether & started to reduce the Pristiq dosage too in about June-July 2022 (I reinstated part of the Olanzapine after quitting cold-turkey & am now off it - but rely on 4mg of Melatonin that doesn't always get me to sleep). It was incredibly difficult & the decline in my functioning was so obvious. My creativity fizzled out completely, I feel completely numb all the time, no motivation, no desire for friendships or relationships & I can't find enjoyment in anything. I don't even feel like a person anymore - my personality is dead, I have no hobbies, I can hardly ever get myself to read a book (something I always loved to do), the few emotions I do experience are along the spectrum of irritability, despair, sadness and complete apathy. I have no idea what to do with my life, I don't even know who I am now or what interests me, because nothing does. I hate this dull nightmare- I want it all to end. There isn't anyone in my life who understands this struggle - the GP told me that I could taper by alternating doses (thankfully I knew this was a bad idea from reading this forum). My psychiatrist told me I don't have to bother tapering & other clients of hers had dropped 50mg at a time without any issues - and also that the withdrawal I am experiencing is probably due to external factors rather than coming off the antidepressant I've been taking for 6 years. Unfortunately they don't have the 25mg Pristiq tablet where I live (in Australia), so I don't know how I'll cope when reaching lower doses. Has anyone else here been polydrugged at a young-ish age, and managed to recover & live a fulfilling life after withdrawal? How do you cope, and feel a sense of enjoyment, interest & purpose again? I'm really sorry for my self-pitying woe-is-me ramble- I've wanted to post an introduction for months but things have been hard 😕 Discovering this forum has been a lifesaver, and thank you so much for keeping it going.

hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.

I'm writing on behalf of my daughter (18) who has now been on Olanzapine based tablets for 2 months. She suffered a shock some time after graduation. At the time, she showed signs of being lost/not recognizing that her mother was present/wanting to go home. After a lot of discussions, we now suspect it was due to being withdrawn (something we unfortunately didn't see as a serious problem then), not being involved enough in external activities and mixture of feeling of not fitting in in high school,some issues about "looks",trying to find an escape on the web (lot of time spent) and overexertion in an attempt to pass each year. After this shock, we drove to the hospital to see what should be done. My daughter exhibited anxiety there and was put on a drip to get some energy and 10mg/day (night dose) Olanzapine based tablets. I'm working from home, so naturally I could follow my daughters progress closely. 10mg/day was a horror story - headaches, early morning anxiety/looked heavily sedated, invoking vomiting upon sight of food, felt that people she heard were talking about her, slight phobia of other people. After two days, of this, I saw that something needed to be done, but since I couldn't get in contact with the doctor in question, I took things into my own hands (but unfortunately without too much reading on the web) and cut the dose to 5mg/day. My daughter's situation improved drastically, and the doctor just indicated that that was OK. At that point in time, I just started feeling very uneasy about those tablets and the doctor - the issue with the high does just made me loose complete trust in that doctor. I called another doctor to get another opinion about the dose but was just given information which I felt was very similar to the present doctor. I then reduced the dose further to something over 3/4 of the 5mg tablet and took my daughter to a Psychologist as I felt the time and progress at the psychiatrist were not giving results. My daughter's situation improved further (less anxiety), but she showed more sensitivity to sound/light/smell and now has more of a phobia that people are talking about her and feels shame that she is visiting a psychologist/psychiatrist . I tried reducing the dose ever so slightly again (using a precise scale) .At this point in time, I had (unfortunately late) found out that decreasing the dosage should be done very slowly - so maybe I'm to blame for some of the side effects due to withdrawl. Yes, I did take things into my own hands without doctor's backing because I simply don't believe these tablets are helping my daughter unless heavy sedation is a solution - so I am looking for any way to get her off these tablets/ finding alternative solutions to her problem. My daughter is now at some 2.9mg/day - I would appreciate any advice as to who could help me with information on what I should do regarding the dose (I am keeping it at 2.9mg for now - although I don't see it helping) , sensitivity side effects and her phobia of what people think/shame (other than physiotherapy). Personally, I would very much like her taken completely off tablets, but would like to hear feedback from a doctor who doesn't take Olanzapine so lightly as the doctors I have met. I forgot to mention one important point / the side effects I mention seem to lessen as the day passes - so that by evening time, I cannot notice them on my daughter and her communication and reactions seem "normal" - another reason why I feel that she should be taken off Olanzapine. My daughter is supposed to start college next week and I'm not sure how she could be helped to cope with that. On the other hand, not attending, besides the obvious , will mean once chance less for meeting people/ helping her to get over her phobia.

Hi. Im new here. Ive had a nightmare time with olanzapine. Managed to withdraw from 2.5 to 1.25 in 2019 which was pure hell. Now i have symptoms of neuropathy (no dx yet) and am wondering if it could be the olanzapine. I have stabbing pains like needles that are getting worse. Zopiclone and clonazepam will temporarily improve these symptoms. These meds will also help relieve other side effects of olanzapine I have had. Is real neuropathy helped by zopiclone and clonazepam? Or is this yet another side effect from this hellish drug? Any insight would be much appreciated.

Senzu : I suffer too much physically and mentally since stopping olanzapine and decreasing diazepam is hell. Hi there, I am French. I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for depression. But I was quite rebellious about this internment and at one point I was forced to take 20mg of olanzapine. I felt like my brain was collapsing in my head and I couldn't stand on my legs and couldn't articulate. The next day they forced me to take 10 mg and that for two weeks. I kept asking for this treatment to be stopped because I was documenting its dangerousness. The doctor finally accepted and he made me go from 10mg to 5mg for a week and then asked me to stop. This rapid decrease scared me but the doctor refused me to go through 2.5mg. When I went from 10 to 5 mg my eyesight became blurry and I felt depersonalization. When I went from 5mg to zero, I stopped sleeping, and started having shaking, stiffness, pain, dyskinesias and seizures. I was given valium diazepam to calm the seizures and for sleep, I started taking mianserin at the beginning of July but I sleep very very badly even with valium and mianserin when I have slept well all my life 9 hours . And since this stop of olanzapine, I am still worse: panic attacks, I had pneumonia, extreme akathisia, impossibility of concentrating, I can no longer function, I feel very weak physically, various pains which focus on the thorax, I have no appetite and I'm losing a lot of weight, I have no more muscles, I have no more motivation for basic tasks. Since July, I've been trying to decrease valium, and I've gone from 25mg to 15mg (1mg every 12 days) but it's very very hard, and this decrease increases all the symptoms related to quitting olanzapine. My condition is getting worse week by week. I am not the same anymore, I am constantly numb and weak. I have no more pleasure and momentum and feeling my inabilities triggers extreme panic attacks...

Hello there, how are you? I am a 33 years old french dude. I finished my withdrawal by tapering off since 2 or 3 months. I started taking this drug in 2012, because of insomnia due to a bad trip from a cactus named San Pedro. I started to withdraw myself from it in the beginning of 2016 and i finished the withdrawal 2 months. The more i advanced in the levels of tapering, the more i felt mental clarity and the more i had a good sleep (dreaming again). When i totally finished the withdrawal, i started having panic attacks, strange fatigue, anxiety, but, my sleep was even better. The more i lowered the dosages, the more i had mind clarity and the more my sleep was good. And, since i totally stopped the drug, even if it was hard at the beginning, it became more bearable. But, strange symptoms came back some weeks ago. It that normal? To feel better and then to have side effects coming back? I was exposed to stress, so, it could be the cause. Some months after starting the withdrawal (in 2016), i started to have pains in the body, inflammations, like fibromyalgia and it never disappear since. Because, i am really tired recently and when i think back, this strange fatigue started years ago and i now think i can associate it with a step level of my tapering off. I can totally recognize myself in the fibromyalgia symptoms (i have a lot of inflammations). I have weird symptoms since many years: -migraine -photo-sensitivity and eye tiredness -fatigue, tiredness -inflammations I took Zyprexa 16 years ago also, for 1-2 months, because of anxiety. And as the first migraine i had was after i took Zyprexa (not directly, but, after), i am wondering myself if Zyprexa would not be the cause of it and my photo-sensitivity i also had years after. I think i have fibromyalgia, etc, but, i tend to think more and more than Zyprexa could be the cause of my problems. I also have a lombalgia, one of my vertebra has recuced. I take supplements and try to go in the forest and do bare-footing, etc. I try to find all the activity and acts that could be good to the being and the body. I feel better sometimes, but my strange fatigue makes me stress sometimes and it accentuates the problem. Maybe the stress is the cause of the or a big part of the cause of this state of being. Well, see you, peace.

Hi Everyone, I have been taking Zyprexa 7.5mg for 60 days and made an attempt to decrease my dose to 5mg 3 days ago. I took the 5mg pill a single time and I could not sleep that night. The next day I went back and took the 7.5mg pill and I still only got about 0-3 hours sleep since then. I'm seeking help for getting off this drug. I've read the Tips on withdrawing from Zyprexa thread many times over. My psychiatrist doesn't support me tapering so I don't think I have a chance to get the liquid form from a compounding pharmacy. I also can't afford an expensive scale. I was thinking about getting the orodispersible tablets and putting them into 7.5 ml-s of water. Then I would pull it up with a syringe and dispose 1ml every 2-3 weeks. Will this work? Has anyone succeeded in tapering Olanzapine this way? Any advice would be more than welcome. I'm very desperate to get off it and I'm really scared that I am having such horrible withdrawals even though I've only been on it for 2 months.

Original topic title: Olanzapine cold turkey (out of presumptuous stupidity, I destroyed myself, and now I am trying to save at least a part of my being) On October 20, 2021, I started olanzapine 2.5mg. per day (which I was advised to split into two doses, to take half in the morning and the other half in the evening), recommended to me by a psychiatrist as a remedy for chronic insomnia, and on November 11, 2021 I abruptly stopped using this medicine, as I read in internet about its extreme neurotoxicity. On the evening of November 14, 2021, something terrible happened to me: something seemed to be turned off in my psyche forever, I lost my whole self, i.e. my emotions, interests, hopes, dreams, hobbies, motivation, flexible intellect, and ultimately the will to live. I tried to restart olanzapine on November 15, 2021, but at that time I did not know anything about effective strategies for reinstatement of the drug, and therefore, already on November 16, 2021, I stopped olanzapine again, but, exhausted by insomnia, had to take 25 mg. quetiapine, which have been in my medicine cabinet for many years without use. On November 17, I impulsively returned to olanzapine, but after a couple of days I stopped drinking it again in order to resume taking it at the end of November, but this comeback was also extremely short-lived and did not exceed the duration of the same couple of days. On November 29, 2021, I took olanzapine for the last time, but the neurotransmitter chaos, provoked by my stupid thrashings, seems to have done me irreparable damage. Over the next three and a half months, I tried to pull myself out of this anhedonic pit with various supplements (I tried fish oil, 5-HTP, St. John's wort, green tea extract, tyrosine, biotin, citicoline, Alpha GPC) multivitamin complexes (I mean B vitamins), peptides (for two weeks I was regularly injected intramuscularly with cortexin) and even psychopharmacological drugs prescribed to me by other psychiatrists, but with drugs of this class I again behaved as haphazardly as possible (about 8-10 times during these months I took phenazepam at a dosage of 0.5 mg., it at least minimally relieved anxiety; 5-7 times I drank hydroxyzine at a dosage of 0.25 mg at night, but it did not help me sleep at all; for three or four days I took a combination of venlafaxine, lamotrigine and trazodone, and once I took two capsules sulpiride, the content of the active substance in which was 100 mg., and one tablet of phenibut at a dosage of 250 mg.). Now I realize that my behavior during these months was absolutely suicidal, and probably only the prompt reinstatement of olanzapine could have saved me, but now almost three and a half months have passed since the last dose of this medication, so my chances of self-preservation seem for me absolutely ghostly. I hope that something else can be done in this situation: I have already completely lost hope for rehabilitation, I have practically not slept all these months due to permanent panic and bouts of neurocognitive hypochondria, I don’t understand how I still haven’t made suicide, because it is unnatural to live in such a state.

hello there. i registered here to search for help for symptoms that are bothering me and that came after 15mg of olanzapine for 7-8 months. generally, i've been taking olanzapine for like a year or something, i started with a 5mg dose at 2015, after some time they upped it to 10mg, and then i've had a full-blown psychotic episode and i began taking 15mg. i was hospitalized and there they gave me high doses of 5 different medications. when i came back home, things just weren't the same. okay, that didn't bother me, i was still thinking that it's only a phase. then, month after month, i realized that that "phase" is actually... something deeper, different. so i searched about it on the internet; and saw that "antipsychotics destroy brain". i stopped taking olanzapine cold turkey, which was DEFINITELY a very bad idea. at first, i was very depressed, i don't know if it lasted long enough to be called a major depressive episode, but it was severe. i was full of guilt... but, the worst of it all - i couldn't feel a damn thing. i couldn't enjoy a damn thing. i was on a winter holiday and i'm a skier, but i didn't feel anything while i was skiing. yes, i could leave a bed, but i was doing it only because i felt like the world around me would judge me and criticize me if i didn't. people are supposed to feel happy, free when they're skiing, even scared. i didn't feel anything. i realized that i stopped caring about everything, so, you could tell me a good thing - i would feel nothing (sometimes it was even hard to fake a smile, because it was even hard to move my face). you could tell me a bad thing - i would feel nothing. i had a fear of being criticized, but now, that faded too. but that's okay, to be honest, it's much easier to live without the guilt and at the same time energy to do anything about the guilt you're feeling. and i wanted to feel things. i wanted, and not only wanted, but i still want to feel things. deeply. so i started faking reactions to things... i was like - okay, imagine you're a normal person who didn't go through this kind of situation. how would a normal, rational person react ? and then i reacted that way. i still do that tho, it became some kind of a habit. my concentration is very bad. my will is very bad. i have anhedonia and apathy. my cognitive abilities are awful. but i just can't seem to care. and you know, sometimes you feel bad for not caring about things. i don't even feel bad about not caring, i just don't feel a damn thing. i had a period where i was doing better and was motivated to recover. i still want to recover, but i feel like nothing makes sense and i don't know how to get out of this nonsense. if any of you found sense, can you please tell me how ? i know it's an extremely hard and long process, but i somehow believe that it's possible. WHY ? i went to the neurologist and spent a lot of money on some neurological tests, for example magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. guess what ? IT'S NOT THE BRAIN. IT'S PSYCHE. mind. mental. !!!!!!!!!!!! at least for me. tests can't and don't lie. i believe in those tests, even tho i have all the symptoms of brain damage, i surely don't have a brain damage because i have an evidence. the tests have shown that my brain is perfectly healthy, despite my mental disorder. i don't know about you, but i can recommend checking yourself just to be sure, it can ease the pain, even if you do have a brain damage or if you don't. if you don't have enough money, there are local hospitals where you can check yourself. so that's why i accepted medications and i'm currently using 10mg of escitalopram and i started few days ago aripiprazole 5mg. i'm willing to try things. i just feel so brain-foggy and that's stopping me from doing anything. and now, i'll go and search the forum for some advices from you guys, i will write here again. thanks if you read this. ...and yeah, sorry for a really bad post, i'm not so well right now. i'm glad that i became the part of this community, the feeling that i'm not alone makes me feel better. and it's hell.

Hi, I am a 27 year old male in India working as an engineer in a telecom company. At start of the year I had a brief psychotic breakdown from work related stress and consulted a psychiatrist. I was on olanzapine aripiprazole and fluoxetine. After a couple of months on the meds I started to notice that I was getting significantly worse and could not do my job properly, my mind became clouded and I was unable to think and slow to react. I started drooling in my sleep and hairloss began. In panic I decided to stop all medication cold turkey. The immediate withdrawal symptom was that I began to sleep 12-14 hours a day and getting off bed seemed next to impossible. Then slowly the tragedy began to unfold after a month or so. I started feeling so weak that I could hardly ever get off bed and go to office. Hunger vanished and I hardly managed two meals a day. Then I found out that music became unappealing so did movies and everything else including exercise that used to provide me relief from stress. I lost all interest in the opposite sex, cannot even masturbate to porn anymore.Orgasms are not pleasurable and sensitivity in my genitals is close to null. I am now basically an asexual being with nothing that gives me pleasure. Suffered severe weight loss. I feel trapped inside unable to react to the outside world. I have spent the last month searching for various means of suicide on the internet as I have nothing to look forward to in life. If you can't enjoy anything and always lie in bed life is not worth living. Also there's no chance of me being in a relationship or getting married. I can no longer hang out with friends, considering how different I have become from them, and can't enjoy anything. PSSD has made me more anxious than ever, with libido crashing to zero.

Hi. My story should maybe begin with med history I suppose. Back in 2017 I was hospitalized and put on trazadone, zoloft, and zyprexa. After only barely a year of this cocktail it was determined that I was too tired to function with trazadone and zyprexa caused an odd issue with blood sugar which required immediate discontinuation. After another year and a half of zoloft, I asked my PCP (primary care physician) to manage my meds and help me try something new. I was tired of driving to see my nurse practitioner, who formally managed them. My PCP suggested Paxil, and also placed me on imitrex for chronic migraines. She discontinued zoloft, she felt it was a low enough dose. Shocker. This was the end of January 2020, so covid was nearly upon us. After only one month of being on it she decided to bump it by 10mg, to 30mg. We also decided imitrex sucked so I got put on maxalt which I'm still on today. I felt as though it was helping me with irritability, which is a problem I've had for a long time. Paxil mellowed me out it seemed. It made me not really care much. All visits after February were done via zoom due to covid. In November of 2021 I was feeling at a wit's end with the increase in head pain frequency. Taking all 9 of your maxalts every month and having more migraines on top of it just sucked. I also was having more s******l ideations, I always have had passive ones but having more than usual was bothering me. She said she would add 10mg of amitriptyline because "it helps with migraines and mental health so it'll kill two birds with one stone". Well it seemed to help me sleep. However, I'd been slowly gaining weight while on paxil due to my low motivation and lack of caring... which I think amitriptyline just further encouraged. My pharmacist was a little concerned about the combination. She mentioned serotonin syndrome being a common issue, but my doctor said I'd be fine. Well I continued to just kinda suck things up, my fault, but I just really appreciated how chilled out I was. May 26th 2022 I go to my PCP in person because 1. I developed a twitch in my thumb, tendinitis from typing. 2. Because I finally got the courage to talk about my meds via pro con list. She determined the tendinitis, we got that fixed. However, when I wanted to address meds she actually cut me off and just started talking about my blood pressure and (obvious) 30 pound weight gain. This was the first time she's seen me since increasing the paxil, mind you. I understand her concern. My blood pressure was some kind of record high, I'll admit it was so high I couldn't believe it for my age. She said I needed to get blood work done asap and that after she looks at lab results THEN she will discuss meds. That Friday, may 27th I messaged her on mychart (she's nice about this) about my concern regarding med combination. I told her I was curious about whether paxil in combo with other meds could've been my reason for high blood pressure. She said "well, hold your paxil until you get your blood work and until I can get another blood pressure reading". LOL. I said sure thing, because what could ever go wrong. I got very sick, but got the labs done that next tuesday and sadly couldn't get my blood pressure done until that next Friday due to staffing issues at her clinic..I ended up having my work do it since we have nurses, and just messaged the bp read on mychart. Believe it or not my blood work was pretty emaculent. My blood pressure went down 30 points on systolic and 10 diastolic (idk if points if the right term) but still it was high. She messages me on Mychart that friday afternoon to say she got my results, and wanted me to continue "hold (not take) your paxil because I think it was affecting the blood pressure". Yay. She scheduled to see me June 10th to talk about a beta blocker if my blood pressure was still high. June 10th comes and she still wants me on a beta blocker, it's still high but going down slowly. I have tachycardia on top of it, so she was pretty concerned. I told her about my very horrible experience with paxil withdrawals, to which she said "you're the first to say that. I've never had a patient have a problem or get withdrawals from stopping paxil". So I said, well maybe I'm sensitive and reminded her about my zyprexa problem. I thought it kinda sucked to have her brush off my withdrawals that took two weeks to go away completely. =/ I ended up added omega 3 and magnesium to help with brain zaps, which actually helped me but I can't say how or why. She was fine with the new supplements and said I would now start atenolol (beta blocker). Scheduled me out to see her on June 24th. So I guess that's my story so far. My blood pressure is slowly but surely going down. I'm feeling more energy again, less headaches, less weird hyperthermia feeling, still some issues with motivation but still seeing small improvements. My concern is how my body will adjust to not having paxil in the long run. It very much wasn't good for me, and I feel bad for not getting it check out sooner but I really just didn't care enough at the time. It was kind of scary. I know CTing can have long term effects, but I also JUST started feeling somewhat normal again and don't want to go back to feeling addicted to paxil to ever return. I also just feel alone in this, if that makes sense?