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I have been on antidepressants since 2005(Started post partum). while the drugs didn't help me much my doc switched me to different drugs due to the terrible side effects i had. Finally i settled down with Fluoxetine around 2012. Around 2016-17 I started suffering with oversleeping and fatigue. My doc added Abilify and modafinil which helped me for few years and then stopped working. I understood these drugs did so much damage to my brain and body and wanted to get off of them. my doc said I can taper off quickly(2-3 weeks) from these meds and I got of them as he mentioned in 2019 Jan and had severe issues with in 2 -3 months. when I reached out to my doc he mentioned I am having relapse and I have to start meds again. I started them with so much pain. I researched on how to taper of these drugs and start to do half dose of Abilify in Jan 2022.(continued Fluoxetine, Modafinil). After 4-5 months I started 1/4th dose of Abilify. after another 4-5 months 1/8th. and now i am taking a teeny tiny bit of Abilify every 2 weeks. While I dont have any bad depressed days I am suffering with oversleeping, too much fatigue and lack of interest in anything. i have to push myself to do my daily chores. When I reached out to my doc he wants to put me on another new med. I am still with him since I need refills on my meds. At this point i don't want to add more medication but looking for any help with oversleeping and fatigue and to figure out if its caused by abilify withdrawal. is there any other way I can improve my mental health without adding my medication. Thanks in advance.

Hi all, I have heard good things about this website and I’m hoping that it could be a valuable resource to help me make some informed decisions about what to do next after experiencing antidepressant withdrawal symptoms. Sinde July 2022 I have been prescribed SSRIs. My doctor first prescribed me Prozac, which I was on for two months, but I switched to Zoloft due to terrible insomnia caused by Prozac. Since since September 2022, I have been taking Zoloft. My dosage slowly increased to 125 mg. After the anxiety from a period of acute stress in my life subsided, I decided I no longer wanted to take Zoloft. My family doctor is not great, so stupidly, I didn’t consult her and just started to slowly reduce my doseage. A few weeks ago, I finished my last 25mg pills and haven’t renewed my prescription. Since then, I’ve experienced two main symptoms: the infamous brain zap sensation and slurred speech. I’m finding I have to concentrate so hard to speak clearly. I made an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to ask for help. Looking for some guidance here about what to do next. Should I go back on at a low dose of 25mg and taper down with liquid Zoloft from there? Any advice is appreciated.

Hi I recently reinstated 25 mg citalopram ( May 2023) after having reduced from 25mg-20mg Dec 2022-May 2022. I started to feel nauseous, couldn’t focus , brain fog . During my reinstatement I was diagnosed with h pylori and am now in triple therapy for that. I am fairly convinced the increase in citalopram also contributed to my stomach symptoms. I am still finding the extra quarter tablet upsets my stomach . Could I reduce down to 22.5 mg at this stage ? I have that dose available from the local compounding pharmacy? Antibiotics finish tomorrow so I could see how my stomach is then , I also find I can’t cry . Very disconcerting. Also feel a bit over medicated so to speak . history : fluoxetine Dec 2001-March 2002 citalopram 20mg March 2002-Sept 2015 citalopram 30 mg Sept 2015-June 2022 citalopram 25 mg June 2022-Dec 2022 citalopram 20mg Dec 2022-May 2023 citalopram 25mg May 2023-present

Introduction Hi everyone. I have been lurking here since last year but decided to start my thread as my waves are getting more frequent. I am trying to stabilize at 20mg of generic Prozac (fluoxetine) daily, and have been taking it for 6 months. I thought stabilization was finally happening in January this year but waves are now weekly. I am here to see if anyone can shed light on why my horrible waves are more frequent now. I've read “The windows and waves pattern of recovery” (http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/). Maybe I'm missing something? I'm not feeling very bright since WD hit me! Wave and window frequency Stabilization seemed to work right away and my intense waves were about every 14 to 21 days (3 to 4 weeks). Last month and this month, waves have increased frequency to about every week and last 2 to 5 days, with a window inbetween. Currently working on a graph based on my daily notes to visualize my stabilization journey. WD waves This is how I recall them now but I will update this description when I consult my notes next during a window. A headache and dizziness accompany a vice-like tightness around my head. I then get intensely irritable, depressed, and quite sleepy. I then get akathisia, mostly in the legs. I have tried pushing through it but I find it very hard to concentrate on anything and I just can’t bring myself to talk or interact with anyone. Any conversation or touch terrifies me and I just have to dismiss myself and apologize to whoever is around me at the time and hope they don’t take my sudden departure personally. I then go to sleep. When I wake, I feel better but the wave is still there. I tend to get better over the next day or two, only for the cycle to repeat as mentioned above. Aside from sleeping the only relief I get, for but a moment, is when my rescue cat comes home and deigns to grace me with her presence on the bed next to me or in my chair. This WD has meant that I can no longer keep many commitments, I can only work on a casual basis (i.e. I put in a few hours a day in a window), and my relationships have become skeletal. My life is slowly falling apart and I am now dependent on my partner. She is understanding of my withdrawal, having been on SSRIs herself but luckily avoided a protracted WD. Sadly though, I just feel so guilty and frustrated at how I am now a slave to this window and wave cycle, and largely a useless partner. Windows (something positive) I am myself: productive, fairly positive, happy, thoughtful of others, and able to tackle my anxiety properly. I still live in fear of waves but I am learning to try not to ruminate on them. I feel a willingness to connect with people. I am starting to put too much pressure on myself to do everything during a window and that is leading to problems. To be fair to myself though, my waves are iatrogenic and I must forgive myself for feeling wretched, even during a window, because SSRI withdrawal is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and it has ruined my life. Why are my waves more frequent? I will share some of my hypotheses below regarding why my waves are more frequent. If anyone has any thoughts please let me know, I’d love to hear them. I’ve learned so much from SA already. As mentioned in my signature I am working on compiling all the daily data I have into a graph so I can get a better picture of my stabilization journey (and what proceeded it). I don’t know when that will happen as my windows are now spent doing all the things I put off in my waves and just improving my loosening grip on the good things in life. I know though that I have to finish this data processing as soon as I can in case the waves merge into one big, long one. 1. My SSRI history during the last two years is peppered with ignorant tapering attempts, maybe it is catching up with me? 2. The optimist inside me is hoping that the frequency is increasing because it could be a pattern that occurs prior to a period of flatter frequencies (perhaps the ebbs and flows of homeostasis). I am perhaps just fantasizing but I imagine that if the frequency increases so much, like in a radio wave, the peaks and troughs (waves and windows) will be indistinguishable, which could be what homeostasis looks like. I am laughing at this hypothesis as I can see I am desperate for some good news XD 3. Maybe my reinstatement/stabilization dose was a little too low (considering I was on 40mg daily for the longest time) and I am catching up with the WD that it would have caused in recent months. If this is the case, I can’t see any benefit in updosing now anyway. Sure, it could always get worse but I think it would definitely get worse if I start guessing at an updose level. I could be wrong. 4. Some of my family wish to visit me later this month for a few days. I haven’t seen them in years. They planned it during one of my windows in December and I felt positive about it all. I also felt optimistic that given about 6 months of trying to stabilize, my waves would be a thing of the past, or a rarer occasion. I tried to get them to postpone but they can’t change their plans without losing all their money. I don’t want them to stop their holiday for me but as the reason for travelling is to see me, I have warned them that I may be in bed, only able to talk to them for a few minutes. I hope I have a window when they are here but I think I’ve had a huge amount of stress about the visit because I just don’t need the guilt I will undoubtedly feel when I am only able to see them for a few minutes. In other words, perhaps stressors and other factors in my life are making waves more frequent. My expectations for stabilization and my tapering plan I didn’t expect stabilization to take this long but after reading “After reinstating or updosing how long to stabilize” (http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4244-after-reinstating-or-updosing-how-long-to-stabilize/?hl=%2Bhow+%2Blong+%2Bstabilize) I realize it could take a long time, maybe years based on how much damage my ignorant tapering did in the past. When I stabilize (I suppose I have to believe that I will) I plan to do an SA taper, spanning years, with water titration (I have done a few trial runs of it and it’s very easy to get accurate doses this way). I have the syringes ready but it could be a long time before I get to use them! My current plan is to keep plodding along at 20mg until I can get a more stable window and wave frequency. I don’t expect my waves to disappear completely but this increase in frequency means I am questioning things and hope that someone out there may have an idea about what’s happening and what I may expect to happen for the next 6 months. Lifestyle As for my lifestyle, I am healthy, eat well, and exercise most days. I take some supplements but I don’t think they’ve made much of a difference either way. I will list them later when I can manage it but they include B12, magnesium, and fish oil. Sadly, during waves I mostly lie in bed as it provides me some relief. One of the side effects from fluoxetine is sleepiness and lethargy, which I've always had, so that contributes to me lying about a lot. It took so much out of me to write this but I am glad I did it now! Good luck to you all and I wish you the best, regardless of what stage of withdrawal and recovery you are. Kittygiggles

As a 60 yo woman I took a hard look at my past life of various antidepressants since 1981 inevitably winding up with a 40 year RX drug habit, over weight and in pain. I'm active and eat health following an anti inflammatory diet w/ very little dairy or gluten and was just stuck physically. June 6th 2023 I made the decision to do a hard reset and stop My high dose Paxil and Deseryl and Xanax, not taper. As you'd expect the following week was of your typical physical drug withdrawal response, insomnia, loss of appetite, diaphorsis etc. What I didn't expect was that in the second week I started to feel an undeniable amount of strength returning, muscle coordination improvement and lack of pain. A high akin to a mushroom trip with heightened senses of pleasure, euphoria and an overwhelming sense of calm. I feel awake for the first time in decades. No unwanted thoughts or emotions, I have 40 years of coping skills and cognitive behavioral therapy in my arsenal. My gut health was the first to return to normal - there was No more bloating , constipation or abdominal pain. The chronic pain I'd been suffering with limiting my ADLs was GONE! And remains that way. I now have the flexibility of my teenage self and am back to practicing yoga on the floor with relatives ease. It's almost as if every cell in my being is undergoing a rebirth and is new again. The only side effect I have found unpleasant is scattered facial numbness which I'm hoping will ease its way back to normal as well. The 'electrical shocks' were an interesting side effect , it feels as though the nerves in my body are awaking again for the first time and I feel great. It's only been 20 days and I feel newborn and loving it... Finding this site has been a relief. There is No Support available for Antidepressant Withdrawl. It is not even discussed in the Healthcare industry. To entertain this thought process is considered non complainant , a 'behavioral' abnormality. I am in control of my mind, my body and my senses for the first time in my life ❤️

Hi Everyone Started off on 20 mg Prozac (Fluoxetine) more than 25 years ago. Now on 60mg daily for more than 10 years. Prior to Prozac, I was on and off Valium for sometime. I lived in South Africa at that time, but was put on Prozac when the "sunshine" drug was available in SA. Struggled with Severe Depression as a result of childhood abuse. I have also been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and Eating Disorder not Otherwise Specified. In talking with my son about a friend of his who has gained a lot of weight, he told me that (she lives in USA) says if the stops the meds her anxiety and associated problems would return, so she just has to basically live with the extra weight. She did extensive research into weight gain and anti - depressants and discovered that this was a serious side effect. As I struggle with my weight and have Diabetes Type 2, I thought I would like to stop the anti-depressants after hearing her story. Then on BBC Panorama I watched a documentary where Adele also featured and realised that this is a really bad drug and having been on it for so long, I want to stop. This has all happened in the last 2 weeks. I am seeing my GP on Thursday and I am going to tell her I want to stop. I do have the feeling that she may not know (perhaps she does) how to wean someone who has been taking Prozac for the last 25 years off this horrendous drug. I would like to go to this appointment "armed" with as much information as I can to stop, so if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate hearing from you. Furthermore my husband of 63 was diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia Alzheimer's last year. He is also on Prozac for depression for more than 10 years- 40mg dosage. I am wondering if the Prozac led to this Early Alzheimer's as I have read that it can affect memory. Unfortunately My husband is on Donepezil for the Alzheimer's and we have an appointment first week July (still waiting for actual date) he will be weaning off the DOnepezil as the side affects are bothering him. He then wants to stop the Prozac too but we don't want to do both at once. Again any advice would be appreciated. Just reading this back and I'm thinking to myself " you are in for one helluva ride! " Really scary situation to be in. Love to all Toolong

So my history is that I started taking anti-depressants for anxiety and mild to moderate depression. Ive always suffered with social anxiety, in particular eating in front of people that I perceived to be 'important' people but they were strangers. If I knew I was going into a situation where I would be expected to eat in front of strangers then I always had an extra pill prescribed by my GP. Propranolol was the drug of choice to be used as a PRN drug on top of my SSRI tablet. I used to take venlafaxine but this was changed a few year ago to Fluoxotene and has recently been added to by my GP and so I now take Mirtazapine in the evening. So as you can see I am not looking to withdraw at the moment but having watched the Panorama programme which has given me food-for-thought. I will come here again when the time is right to look at withdrawal! I will also use this and other sites to gather support and information.... Oh and I am 57. Been on anti depressants for over 30 years and I live in Wiltshire, UK

My Physiatrist wont let me taper by splitting my pills. She's having me take it every other day or every three days. I think this isn't allowing for a slow enough taper because I have already had one relapse after trying to go off.

I can only post in introductions because I'm new here I assume. I'll post a short background so skip to get to my question. Background: Around midway through 2020 I was hit by sudden depression and anxiety I'd never had before. I thought I had food poisoning first. But when what I guess was that physical anxiety left, I noticed everything felt grey. In terms of a cause, it did, and still does, feel random - clinical. I can understand what may have caused it, but it feels more of a trigger for a genetic predisposition rather than a build up of issues. I was at a dead end in life, but these issues were different. Felt seperate from the unexpected depression. I've always been the kind to be unbothered by surroundings. It started in episodes that would routinely last a couple weeks, and I'd be fine for a bit. Intensity and time inbetween would always vary, but it would always last around the same. I got hit by an episode particularly bad at Christmas of 2020 and was put on Mirtazapine. I've never had social anxiety, or really any regular form of anxiety, but I become very viscerally anxious in depressive episodes, so mirtazapine helped with the lack of sleep that was causing. Mirtazapine kind of worked. 2021 was my breeziest year since this started. Kept the bad episodes at bay, but I wasn't happy with the weight gain and lack of motivation. I went through a lengthy process trying to quit at the start of 2022. My withdrawal symptoms were pretty much just those bad episodes over again. I eventually succeeded and started on Lexapro midway through 2022. That's when I truly came to understand anhedonia. My process of lexapro started on a dip, and it just kind of never left for the first time. It probably felt this way as anhedonia is my main symptom of depression. I was more on the normal side than I was during an episode, but my emotions and motivation were noticeably vacant. I got sick of that about 4 months, and switched to prozac around September 2022. Clearly at this point I still hadn't looked into SSRIs enough. Switching was very easy, the only plus I'll give to lexapro is I didn't get any withdrawals. Probably as I was switching straight to another SSRI. Prozac seemed to be better at first. I had some motivation approaching Christmas, and enjoyed most of November December, with some days in between being grey. I noticed when I didn't have a distraction like preparing for Christmas depression was still creeping. Then a day or so after Christmas I slipped into a moderate episode. I had the same experience as the episode starting lexapro, it just kind of never lifted but slightly worse. At least on lexapro I kind of got into a groove. Looking back I hoped how I felt starting prozac was my brain medication free, so was hopeful I'd return to this after quitting and continue to get better. But this wasn't the case. So: -Mirtazapine gave me broad motivation issues. I was happy sticking to a routine but didn't really have the same fire I had before -Lexapro, I was pretty emotionally mute, and motivation was worse, but I could slip into a routine still. -Prozac seemed promising at first, but during January 2023 I would be completely bored regardless of what I was doing. The emotions were slightly better, but still not being able to maintain interest in anything made things feel grey. I quit after a short taper, around mid February, making it around 6 months on Prozac. I know a short taper is a bad idea, but figured if the meds caused my issues it would be better to have them out of my system. If withdrawals got bad, I'd simply taper better. I had a pretty bad episode a couple weeks after, but had similar withdrawal experiences on Mirtazapine. That somewhat lifted, but once again I didn't return to normal. March was slightly better than Jan-Feb. I had a little more motivation, but would be very up and down. Similar to when I started Prozac but worse. I got hit with a worse episode around the end of March. And since then I've been okay some days, but depressed most of the time. Oh! Forgot to mention I've been put on agomelatine to help with sleep, but 3 weeks in I don't notice a difference. Figure it's too early to tell. So to summarise: Before medication, I'd go from good to bad. Now, after SSRIs I go from bad to worse. Question: So, I've explained my background and how before medication my depression would come in waves. But ever since trying SSRIs and quitting 2 months ago, it's constant. I would have thought I'd be back to how I was before medication. My better state before prozac kicked in suggested this. I've looked into this a bit with a few explanations: 1. Withdrawals/discontinuation syndrome: I hear this can last a while, but what makes me doubt this is I get no other symptoms beside depression/anxiety, which manifests the same as my depression before medication. 2. Relapse: symptoms line up more, but the depression I'm experiencing now is very similar to my anhedonia issues seemingly caused by the SSRIs. And if said meds didn't help, in fact made me worse, why would I be relapsing in similar ways to how they made me feel. I'd also put the idea my brain is readjusting to being natural in this category. 3. The anhedonic effects from the SSRIs are still going on: this partially explains issues with previous points, but the prozac should be out of my system 2 months in. And I do feel different than on prozac, just not better. 4. My depression naturally got worse: this is the only other thing I can think of, but the timeline matches up too well with the SSRIs for this to be likely. 5. PSSD: Anhedonia can be part of this, but lack of sexual side effects make this unlikely. So I've come to this site as it seems to have the most understanding of these medications than nearly anywhere else. What do you think explains my current situation?

Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.

Hi there, I have been through polydrug hell, suffered insomnia after medical shock then given host of sleep meds but believe they caused paradoxical breathing or possibly withdrawals maybe from mix, was given zolpiclone and Xanax and no in breath when going into deeper sleep and would wake constantly? Has anyone experienced this? Continued and given mirtrazapine at morning time! Then amitriptyline which caused urinary retention stopped both, no sleep still so kept on Xanax and zopiclone, then stopped and the same scenario no in breath? If anyone knows what this is? I was then given Xanax to keep me asleep, never more than 1mg ar night only, would you have withdrawals from that if just at night? Panic attacks as no sleep only an hour or so, myoclonus, can’t sleep during day time jerks hypnic. Then started sertraline and hyperacusis started and Xanax still. Then went to psych hospital as wasn’t sure what was happening? Was treated horrifically told agitated depression, never had depression in life, we thing misdiagnosed badly, by power tripping psych as I challenged that. Given Effexor, then clonazapam at night 1mg kept pushing Effexor up, no benefit. I was so worried as they were leaving me on clonazapam, I was only taking at night, day was cut cold Turkey as I was too sleepy. No weaning. Then told take more at night! But got trazadone added 100mg and cut clonazapam to .5 from 1mg, hyperacusis back as had gone but worse than when went in! Effexor pushed up more, phergen added night and clonazapam cut to .25mg from .5mg, Effexor up at 150mg, hyperacusis unbelievable now! Odd as if was depression should the Effexor now get rid of hyperacusis? No benefit. Then told take more, 187 and I couldn’t sleep at all. Myoclonus so bad. Was left even though had bruising everywhere ignored amongst so many other symptoms panic attacks so bad, let out as insurance up, left in lurch, cut to 150 Effexor then 112 and hyperacusis worsening. Got public psych but she said thinks misdiagnosed but no disgnosis and said cut Effexor to 75 and hyperacusis was too much to bear I had to go back to 112.5 mg. What is going on, I’ve never dealt with drugs like this before and don’t know what’s going on and very bad care here, told hyperacusis ENT thing but ruled out but ignored. Hypnic jerks, sleep not great at all, panic so bad in morning feel in total trauma ptsd all time freeze mode. Treated so badly. No info given on anything when in hospital just ignored and wouldn’t wean me off clonazapam yet told me Im on addictive meds now for life! Can anyone help me on hyperacusis and what’s going on breathing at night and hypnic jerks. Breathing is separate than jerks, no in breath in deeper sleep stage. I am at wits end and no life. Left without help. Clonazapam Now out of stock. I’m on it still what left .25mg trazadone and melatonin now might, wake up in horrors. Is it possibly to have withdrawals daily? If low dose? I’m so confused. Pharmacist said possible, my nervous system in total disarray. The 112 to 75 was too much. Too fast just cut fast. Any help on how to cut as tried opening beads out but even that hyperacusis was getting worse? Please help me make sense of this all? Thank you. Is it trauma PTSD, withdrawals, as I am worse now than ever, do get some sleep which is good thing. But wake in horrors. All day panic attacks constantly no let up unless lying down. BP all over place. Get so weak. Have thyroid condition and period issues, fibroid and lot of blood loss monthly. Skin is so dry. Diarrhea all time, gastro issues, reflux. In such panic I just need some advice what May be going on? Thanks so much

Hi all, I have been lurking and learning from this forum for a couple of years but this is my first post. As you can see in my signature, I have been on and off Zoloft and Prozac (mostly for an eating disorder and anxiety), and finally managed to taper off Prozac successfully in 2021 over 4-5 months. It was gruelling as I didn’t have proper guidance (I only discovered this forum afterwards) and my psychiatrist at the time told me I could continue life as usual - I was in a very stable relationship and place in my life, with strong self-care practices, but I did do a lot of drinking and travelling. Shortly afterwards, I tried psychedelic therapy (ketamine and psilocybin), as I was working with a psychedelic therapy startup. I had NO guidance as re staying away from mind altering substances for a while and so you can imagine, this exacerbated WD symptoms. For about 6 months I had intense anxiety, rumination, anger and mood swings, insomnia, depersonalisation, and HORRIBLE gut symptoms. I did accidentally ate dairy in a restaurant too, the last day of my taper, which I’m highly allergic to. I’ve struggled with IBS and constipation even before the taper, but it was in waves and never affected my life. Within a month of tapering, I was constantly bloated, gassy, constipated and with abdominal pain. Over the last few months I saw GI doctors, functional doctors, tried probiotics, did colonoscopies and endoscopies, and ended up in hospital with severe constipation (and accompanying anxiety attacks). Since January 2022, I have worked with a number of functional medicine doctors to address dysbiosis, slow GI motility, constipation, bile issues, histamine intolerance, SIBO and most recently parasites. I’ve also took healing full on, stopped working and addressed lifelong trauma, found a good balance of self care and can say I am emotionally and mentally in the most calm, centred place I have ever been. That’s a huge success!! 💯🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’ve had periods where I’ve felt normal digestion wise but, the gut issues remain and I am now in a horrible flare up which lasted the last couple of months. Pain, gas etc. I feel lost, my functional practitioner wants me to continue doing a parasite cleanse gut that has been so intense on my body (40 supplements a day) that I have ended up in the ER a month ago. I just want this to end. I want to go back to living my life — dealing with this has ruined my relationship, has left me in limbo with work, has given me SO much health anxiety and has impact my sleep chronically. I’m worried that Prozac has permanently damaged my gut 😞 I saw a new psychiatrist who is suggesting that I reinstate Prozac on 20mg straight away and it’s not an issue; my energetic healer and my parasite specialist advise against it and although I want to believe in my body’s innate ability to heal, I wonder if it will ever get back to normal again or will I have to go back on Prozac? At this point, my quality of life is so poor that I will do anything. has anyone experienced anything similar or have any advice? Much much appreciated 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Hello Everyone, I'm so grateful for communities like this community. To know I'm not alone. There's so much I want to say though I also want to post an introduction today and my concentration is limited so I'll try to keep it brief. I apologize if it turns out to be a bit long. My first experience of psychotropics was in 1994 when I had moved to a new area, was laid off, and struggling. My PCP was a willing participant and prescribed various medications - Zoloft, Paxil, whatever was available at that time. Nothing seemed to do what I hoped it would do and I didn't go any further. I wish I could say that that was the end of the story. Several years later in 1997, I moved to a new area with a woman I had been seeing. Our relationship was not a healthy relationship and I was under a lot of stress at work, wasn't sleeping well, was having a bit of a nervous breakdown. I decided to make an appt with a psychiatri1st. By that time, I was convinced that medication was an answer to my dilemma. I believed the current narrative of emotional distress, depression and anxiety, neurotransmitters, and the need for medication to make up for what was missing. The first psychiatrist wanted to just put me on Klonopin, said it would do the trick. I knew a bit about benzos and thought this recommendation wasn't helpful. It didn't fit with my understanding of serotonin deficiency. I went to see a different psychiatrist who put me on Effexor, titrating up to 300 mg. He prescribed Xanax initially to help with sleep and anxiety during the day. I was willing to use benzos as a temporary measure. That made more sense to me. I look back with regret and anger that other options weren't offered for what really were normal existential challenges of work and relationship, something I wasn't equipped to handle at the time. Fast forward to the present. I've been on medication since. And I've had a lot of trouble finding a medication that doesn't have significant side effects. I've felt despair. I've been told numerous times that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. And yet changing medications is a nightmare. The side effects are a nightmare. I recently read a book called Pathological that prompted a deeper reflection and research on medication in general. That the medication may be my problem. I had already started titrating down on my current cocktail. I experience akathesia on Zoloft, the reason the Remeron was added. It's a bit of a shock that my psychiatrist seemed uninformed. He wasn't aware of akathesia as a potential longer term side effect beyond 1-2 weeks. If patients experience this, it passes, he said. He offered no explanation for why it was passing for me. I've wanted to titrate off the Zoloft for this reason though I haven't known what next. I've felt hopeless. This process is so tiring and disruptive. My psychiatrist is a good man though he doesn't have really good ideas about what to do. Just throw more things against the wall and see what happens as if this were a simple process. I started to believe that maybe I have Bipolar II and misinterpreted the akathesia as hypomania. I was on track to titrate down on my cocktail and look at mood stabilizers, something my psychiatrist was willing to try, when I came across the book Pathological. It changed my view in many ways. My dilemma now is best to proceed. I'm learning just how naive I am about psychotropics and titrating off them. In my efforts in the past, I've followed a more traditional titrating schedule and crashed and burned only to think I'd relapsed and needed that medication. I thought I was doing it more thoughtfully this time which in some ways I am compared to the past though I'm still moving fast. I seemed okay with Zoloft 25 mg and Remeron 15 mg. I went down to 12.5 mg Zoloft and the withdrawal side effects were too much to manage. I'm using liquid Zoloft and quickly went up to an intermediate dose of 17 mg which seemed to be okay. I thought at 17 mg I could go down a third at a time from 25 mg. Because the sedating effects of the Remeron were kicking in on lower Zoloft, I went down on my Remeron to 7.5 mg. It's been 2.5 weeks since that change. It's been hard. The biggest issue is that often I'm unable to think, concentrate. Brain dead. When it happens I'm dead in the water. I can't really do anything. I'm awake though my brain isn't functioning. I can think a bit though my brain quickly locks up, shuts down, goes dead and it's worse as the day progresses. It's a huge issue, making work harder, diminishing my quality of life. I like to read and my ability to read and enjoy it is absent. After reading an article by Adele Framer yesterday, I realized that my plan to not overreact, to name withdrawal for what it is, and just live through the awfulness may not be the best plan. That things may get worse and that there may be a better way. That I need to slow down. Expect that this is going to take much longer than I expected. In that spirit because I'm really struggling with withdrawal and it's having a big impact on my life, I thought that maybe I needed to go back up a bit on the Remeron since it seemed that things really got worse when I went down on it (though I could be experiencing some continued withdrawal from the Zoloft). I went from 7.5 to 11.25 mg Remeron last night. I woke this morning, feeling like I wanted to cry and cry and cry. Maybe this increase is too much. The article talked about kindling and sensitization and I wondered if this isn't why even small dose changes cause problems. My psychiatrist unfortunately is willing to be present as I titrate though his knowledge in this area is limited. My initial question is, Where to go from here with the Zoloft and Remeron to continue the titration? I know I have a lot to learn and am wanting/needing to learn. Also one burning question is, Is this issue with an inability to think, concentrate, and focus, this feeling that my brain shut downs so completely and I can't function, common and is there anything I can do to address this? If you've made it this far, thank you for listening and for any input you can offer. Best, st11

Hello, I am have only just joined the forum, my medication history is in my signature. This website is amazing, I've found it incredibly helpful and also really validating to read about other people's experiences. It find it hard to explain to people without direct experience what it is like to withdraw from SSRIs. I've had several friends tell me that I shouldn't stop my SSRI (Sertraline) because they assumed the withdrawal effects are the depression returning. I was quite stupid because I got down to 50mg after a year of reducing the dose and then got really fed up of the side effects and just stopped completely. Since then I've been reading about tapering, and realised that I shouldn't have stopped so abruptly. I've also realised that my doctor gave me the standard bad advice to reduce the dose by alternating from day to day. Now I think that might be why I've had such bad side effects during the last year. However I hate the idea of restarting the Sertraline so I'm trying to find other ways to help myself. One thing I'm trying is herbal medicine. There is a good herbal medicine clinic near where I live and the herbalist has prescribed me a medicine that contains some St John's Wort. I've only been taking the medicine for 2 days, so it's a bit early to tell whether it will help. I was wondering has anyone else used St John's Wort to help with withdrawal symptoms after they have stopped taking a prescribed SSRI? (**Safety note - it's dangerous to take St John's Wort at the same time as an SSRI**). I'm also looking for information that explains what is happening in the brain when stopping SSRIs. I feel it would really help me to understand this. I'm a university lecturer and I've been trying to find information, but everything I've found so far just gives a very conventional/inaccurate description of withdrawals, and also doesn't explain what happens in the brain after stopping an SSRI. Are my neuro-receptors actually damaged? Does my brain need to heal from the SSRI? If anyone has any suggestions I'd be very grateful.

Hi everyone I'm 22 years old now. I suffered from bulimia, depression and generalized anxiety since the age of 17 and my family got me help when I was 18 after I failed my medical school exams due to my condition. I was put on several medications ( Alprazolam, Valproate, Lamotrigine, Fluoxetine) during the course of treatment. I come from a lower economic class country where psychiatric treatment is still considered a taboo and people hide it from others, the facilities available are not the best but its a work in progress. Most of the drugs I had to take, they helped me immensely and I had not much trouble tapering valproate, lamotrigine and alprazolam within a year since start of treatment. They helped me get through the second-sit of exams and after I passed I quit the first two within 2 weeks using ( 50-25-0%). Since I am in medical school I was well aware of addictive potential of benzodiazepine's, so I decided to taper alprazolam as well even though it helped my anxiety symptoms. I had panic attacks and palpitations again but I started working myself through therapy and regular exercise and sleep to ease my symptoms. For a regular person these things are a luxury of time, but if you suffer from a mental health problem you must consider a good sleep and exercise a necessity for the rest of your life and fit in other parts of your life with it, not the other way around. Around 19, I was only taking fluoxetine (20 mg ) and my symptoms got worse, as I often tried to taper it on my own ( I wanted to be off drugs asap). The doctors upped my dose instead of my concern of getting them off, and told me to take valproate, which I could take if I felt my symptoms weren't manageable as I told him I don't want to be back on meds. For four months I was on 40 mg dosage of fluoxetine and some days were quite bad and 2 years back I would've seen the doctor and he would have most likely upped my dosage again but this time I decided to be patient with myself on bad days, accepting them as part of recovery because on the good days, I didn't need any aid and slowly the ratio of good to bad days was improving. I found this blog and I started the brass monkey taper schedule with 4 weeks hold for fluoxetine, and I was done in 6 months. I had some side effects but with this method they were too mild to be cause a nuisance. I had dizziness, insomnia and weight gain (around 10 kgs) during the process. I am now drug-free for almost a year, and its lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, rest, filling my bucket before I pour from it to others, adequate rest ) that keep me going fresh and happy. I had failed attempts at tapering fluoxetine and every time I tried my symptoms became unbearable till I found this forum. I am incredibly grateful to this community and the stories that gave me strength to continue on my journey. To everyone reading this, be patient with yourself and don't compare your journey to others. Listen to your heart when it tells you NO, trust yourself to get through it and you will only see your strength in the hindsight. Love and Prayers.xx

I'm really struggling with severe anxiety, derealization and depression. I have been having windows and waves (both follow a pattern of 2-7 days each). Currently on 75mg Zoloft and thought I was actually improving and felt ready to reduce again after 4 weeks. Then I get a day like this and it knocks me for six. I have this horrible feeling that this is the real me but I can't remember how bad I was since I've been on SSRI'S since I was 16. I'm 25 now. Please advise, I'm getting desparate feeling like I may need to be on these meds for the rest of my life.

hello, I am in the process of tapering prozac for the 3rd time. It does not help me at all and not sure if it is causing me worsening depression and anxiety. I have been on it for close to 20 years with little success. I have tapered off twice, and had to reinstate. This time, I cannot get stable but continue to taper ever so slowly but feel awful waves of depression and anxiety. I have tried many other meds through the years which all make me feel awful. Anyone else have this level of sensitivity? I was on 10 mg and now on 5mg going down by 1/2 mg per month. I feel like a faster taper may be needed if it could be the medication causing me to feel so bad. Could the medication be causing this? I don't want to get worse, any suggestions? Hope and prayer needed.

I’m having a very hard time with a withdrawal situation and I’m grateful this site is here. After dropping my Prozac dose to nothing, I came off 2.5 mg of Zyprexa last summer, very quickly. I tried to tough out the worsening withdrawal symptoms. I was getting manic until I became psychotic for three months.During the psychosis, I was often extremely restless, sometimes wanting to jump out of my skin. But I was also delusional and euphoric.When I got out of my second hospital stay, I was on Risperdal and Depakote. I’d come out of my delusional state, and was no longer restless, but I was still confused and just beginning to heal. Also, I didn’t have a psychiatrist, just refills. I’m sad to say that I was still eager to be off meds and thought I could titrate myself. I went off very quickly and, though the delusions didn’t come back, I soon became very agitated. I ended up messing with my meds on my own for three months. It was like I was trapped, unsure of what dose to take every night, wanting to stay on one dose but scared it was the wrong one. I was experiencing agony, including emotional fits and depression. I couldn’t sit still, and learned the word “akathisia.”I finally found a decent doctor who tried to keep me on a steady dose of Risperdal, as it could be worsening the akathisia, but I’d get back to a good place with it. When that didn’t happen, he switched me to 5 mg of Zyprexa, and, when that wasn’t enough, 10 mg (which I’ve been on a few months) That alleviates most of my suffering, but I still have trouble sitting still, reading, verbally communicating, and keeping my attention on one task. I also just don’t feel like the same person I was before this dreadful year, which is very frightening.Now my doctor isn’t sure if I have akathisia or agitation, or both. But my fear is how long it’ll last. I met someone who experienced this kind of condition for 10 years after coming off an anti-psychotic. I don’t want to be on 10 mg of Zyprexa that long, and I’m not even functional on that dose.Thank you for reading. I’m looking for some hope, or advice.

Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.

Hi everyone, I am hoping to help others and find support as I struggle through prolonged effexor withdrawal. Looking back, I can see so clearly how the nightmare roller coaster ride with medications happened to me. While living in the middle of it, however, it took me a long time to connect the dots and jump off that crazy ride!. And unfortunately, I am paying big time with my health. I am a 34 year old previously very healthy woman. It all started in 2006 with xanax and ambien. I was about 3 weeks away from finals week in professional school when my dad passed away. Dealing with the grief from that and the pressure to continue performing well and passing all my finals in professional school led to bad anxiety and insomnia. I saw a doctor at the health clinic on campus and was given xanax and ambien. At the time, I thought these medications were great! Finally I was sleeping and felt calm. I ended up using them off and on throughout the remainder of school until I graduated in 2007. A few months went by, and then I entered the work force in my new career. This, too, was a very stressful time and I developed insomnia again. I saw a doctor and mentioned the medications that had helped in the past, and with no hesitation was given a presciption for xanax and ambien. I continued to take these medications off and on, and over time needed to increase the doses. I started developing rebound anxiety and insomnia, which got really bad in 2011. At the time, I didn't realize what was happening- I thought I just wasn't coping with life well, and couldn't understand why. I went back to my general practitioner, and she said I had a severe anxiety problem and needed an SSRI. I was desperate to feel normal again and trusted my doctor completely, and readily accepted her prescription for Zoloft (after she assured me the medication was perfectly safe). I picked up the medication, and after reading the side effect list, became very concerned and called my doctor. She said "you shouldn't read that list, now you are sure to develop every side effect on it, because most of those are in peoples heads"). I felt reassured by this and started the medication. Well, I had pretty much every side effect on the list. I won't bother to describe them, we've all been there. I told my doctor what was happening, she said to stick it out. Well, after 2 weeks of pure hell, I stopped the medication. Believe it or not, I then went through withdrawal from that 2 weeks of Zoloft. I developed paresthesia, among many other things, and went to my doctor. She said paresthesia is caused by anxiety, and that this proves I need daily anxiety medication. Of course I believed her, I was so vulvernable and physically sick at the time. She proceeded to put me on and off lexapro, mirtazapine, clonazepam, lorazepam, among others. Every time I started a new med the paresthesia went away within a day or two, but the medication side effects would be unbearable. This is when it started to dawn on me that the paresthesia wasn't anxiety, but was drug withdrawal, as I was recognizing a pattern. My doctor said it wasn't possible, drug withdrawal from these types of meds doesn't exist. I argued that I knew in my heart the paresthesia wasn't caused by anxiety, and that if it's not drug related, it must be an illness of some time. She sent me off to a neurologist which led to about $8000 in tests (blood tests, MRI, ultrasound for the constant nausea, etc etc). All came back normal, at which point the neurologist stated, see- it's anxiety and has been the whole time. I felt very disheartened, accepted my diagnosis, and took her prescription for effexor. I told her that every single medication made me terribly sick, and that I believed the meds and withdrawal from them are what had given me so many problems, and that I was very concerned about taking effexor. She assured me the meds had caused no harm, and that effexor is a wonderful medication, and very safe. She said if I didn't like it, we would stop it, no problem. Silly me started swollowing the pills like a good little sheep. Well, within 2 days the paresthesia was gone. I took the medication for about 2 months and told the neurologist I wanted to discontinue it, as it was causing side effects, and my reason for taking it (paresthesia) had resolved. She told me to take one capsule every other day for a week then discontinue it. I followed her instructions and the withdrawal was out of this world. I had never been so sick in my entire life. After doing some research on line, I stumbled across a web site (probably this one) which explained how to taper effexor slowly. I quickly re-started the medication, and after a week or so, began to slowly wean myself off over 2 months. I had only ever been on the lowest dose of 37.5 mg and thought this would be sufficient. Well, I still experienced withdrawal- slightly more tolerable, but still hellish, and also developed paresthesia again. After about 2 months of dealing with this, I decided to re-instate and taper again over an even longer period. So, I started my third and final taper from effexor in October 2013, and finished in March 2014. Even after such a low dose, and a fairly lengthy taper, I suffered withdrawal. It lasted about 3 months, then I had a period of ~2 months where I was mostly normal, then I got slammed again with severe protracted withdrawal in August/September 2014. So, I have been taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), and praying that this all eventually goes away. The most troublesome thing occurring for me right now, is that I feel as though I have fibromyalgia. I wake up each morning with pain at the base of my skull, and basically all over my body. My eyes are constantly burning and painful. My feet cramp up randomly. I also have severe digestive issues.These have been relentless for about 3 months now. These are things I had never experienced before my roller coaster med ride. I am very worried that these things are permanent. From what I have read, fibromyalgia never goes away. I just don't know if I have real fibromyalgia, or withdrawal-induced fibromyalgia. I am scared that I will have to live the rest of my life in pain and with bad tummy troubles. I am currently seeing a GI doctor and will have endoscopy soon (probably another big waste of money, will probably come back normal just like every other test). I just don't know what else to do. I take no meds, eat very healthy, and force myself to exercise almost daily. The weird thing is, when it comes to the pain- the more sleep I get, the worse I feel. Makes no sense to me! Anyhow, that is my story. I wish I had stopped after my first bad reaction to a drug, I would probably be recovered by now. If I had only known then what I know now! Sorry for the lengthy message. Any input or suggestions is much appreciated. Even if someone can just let me know the pain and stomach issues eventually went away for them, that would give me some hope. Thanks all, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this, more than you'll ever know!

This is less of a question and more of a place for conversation and sharing experiences. This site has helped me understand and apply words to things Ive been experiencing. One of those things is 'waves and windows'. Something that has confused me for a while is how my issues manifest when coming off SSRIs. In the past my depression would come in episodes that would last a couple weeks, be gone for a month or so, and rince and repeat. Ever since starting meds really, but specifically since starting SSRIs in June last year, they've really complicated that pattern. But it's still been very pattern based. When under the effects of SSRIs, I'm consistently anhedonic. And when off of an SSRI, like nov/feb while switching from lexapro to prozac, or in the last couple months I've been off prozac, it's quite up and down, compared to a long up and semi-long down like my depression manifests on its own. I wouldn't put myself in the category of manic whatsoever, or emotionally unstable (partially because the anhedonia is always there) but I'll have moments where I'm feeling almost normal, at least it feels like it compared to my depression, and the next day very depressed. So the main reason I'm making this post is, I've noticed these waves and windows have a distinct pattern of their own. At the start after quitting prozac, and I remember it being like this in the med switch last year (it was better then though), it would be 2 days of feeling very depressed (my withdrawals have always been like my original issues of depression/anxiety rather than physical), and 1 and a half or 2 days of feeling a bit better. Very consistent to the point I could look at my week and think "great, these two days I have to do X will be waves". It usually shifts, for example right now the pattern is each day is bad but the night times are a bit better. My windows still aren't great, but they're some relief. In terms of quality of life, it still feels like the negatives outweigh the positives, with also how crushing the waves are to windows, but I'm grateful I can have some relief fairly regularly. I don't think I could cope like the people who deal with long periods with no windows. So yeah, it's just interesting how consistent and pattern based waves and windows are. Before finding out this is how withdrawal usually manifests, I'd constantly question if it was a conditions based thing. Like if the good would always follow the bad because my standards of 'good' would lower; and the bad would follow the good because I'd become more sensitive to 'bad'. Questioning what it means and ruminating over expectations drive me mad. So yeah, curious what members of this site have to say about the patterns of waves and windows.

So encouraged to find this site about experiences of withdrawal from antidepressants, because I am feeling so alone in my struggle to be drug-free right now. It is a lot of pain! I abruptly stopped long-term antidepressant pharmacotherapy when I read that new emerging symptoms I was having while on the meds, could actually be induced by dangerous drug-drug interactions of the medications I had been prescribed by my psychiatrist - and taking regularly. I had become more and more active over the summer, and it got to the point where I was getting up at 3AM to start work, working till 8 or 10PM, working on weekends, excited all the time about new projects, talking a mile a minute, and having unusually great success at all my activities, feeling euphoria a lot of the time - but it was just abnormal levels of activity and I got concerned, and looked it up. I was thinking of writing a book about my new state of mind, "Unbearable Happiness", then Googled about what other people with this experience were writing, and found many, many links to people writing about their psychological disorder of mania - and not in a good way, but from bipolar. I looked up my meds on drug-drug interaction sites, and found mania is a potential drug-drug interaction of the meds I was taking, and became distressed. What if I was developing mania from the drugs, after having depression for most of my life? What if I started doing dangerous risky manic things? So now I am in withdrawal at about 4 weeks after stopping all of them completely, all at once. I'm not feeling depressed, nor manic, but am feeling sick as hell physically. I live along with a house bunny and parakeets, as my daughters are grown and have moved on. I had been prescribed and taking a high dose of 2 different kinds of antidepressants, venlafaxine at 300 mg/day an SNRI, plus generic prozac at 80 mg/day an SSRI, along with risperidone at 2.5 mg/day for about 5 years, all intended to treat a psychiatrist's diagnosis of depression, and later, schizoaffective disorder. When I read that these medications are clinically contraindicated - not to be taken together - because of serious drug-drug interactions, and that the doses I had been taking were very high, I stopped taking them. That was about a month ago. Since then, I get waves of sleepyness coming over me a lot. Every hour or so when I try to work at something, and often I am just sleepy and napping all day long, and have trouble concentrating on things I would like to do, in addition to unbelievable constant pain. It eases up when I take advil and Benedryl, but how much of that can you take? Not a lot. I am home from work (I'm a research scientist) and most of the time unable to do my normal things like cook and clean and exercise because of the pain and fatigue. I have sneezing and coughing and GI upset all the time, but no fever or anything like that. Pulling myself together to go out into public is a real effort. I have pain all over my body - electrical pricks all over the surface of my skin, deep pains in my muscles, aches in my joints, terrible headaches, and the only relief comes from going to sleep, and I am sleeping a lot. But then I have the worst nightmares of my life, with horrible things happening to all my prior loved ones and pets, and wake up terribly disturbed. I think my nerve cells are all in disarray. I used to meditate and do yoga but right now, I can't seem to do them at all. What has been helpful to you, if you have been going through antidepressant medication withdrawal? How long does it last? With gratitude, Bunnymom

Ive been on various ssri's for 25 yrs - I tried to get off Prozac relatively quickly in order to get into a clinical trial on psilocybin at Yale about two yrs ago and had horrible withdrawals so I had to go back on the Prozac -- I started taking esketamine at Mt Sinai hospital in NY which has helped me a lot - I was feeling good so about 3 weeks ago I decided to try and come off the Prozac again, this time very slowly - I went from 60mg to 50mg and within 5 days the horrible withdrawals started again (massive spike in anxiety, feel like bugs crawling all over me, couldn't concentrate or think clearly, etc) - now I feel stuck on these meds and dont know what to do - I have a therapist and psychiatrist who help me but was looking for more guidance - If possible to talk further that would be great - thanks ! I have a ton more detail I can share ...

Hello everyone and can I start by saying how glad I am that I found thus site. I've done nothing except read as much as I can about PAWS since it hit me nearly 2 weeks ago and on sheer popularity alone this site seems to be the one I've settled on. My story is one that started in Mt Kate teens when as a result of alcohol abuse I began to develop anxiety symptoms which I then proceeded to compound with a never ending cycle ogself medication with more alcohol and sometimes illicit drugs. Anyway to cut a long story short after 10-15 years of this I managed to defeat the worst of the alcohol binging and then illegal drug use - the problem was though it had left me with terrible OCD ( intrusive thoughts) which made it very hard to socialise normally. So as with many recovering substance abusers I had the usual need for relaxation that nearly everyone beefs when they're socialising hence the popularity if alcohol but with the damage it had done to my nervous system on top of that. Hence my trip to my GP to see if there was anything he could do to help with the residual OCD, anxiety and looking back mild depression. Oh big mistake as I was prescribed my first SSRI Sertaline which in a mild way did help until its efficacy stopped after a year or so from that I changed to citalopram then escitalopram and mirtazipine the latter actually making me feel worse. Finally I was put on fluoxetine which I had always hoped to be put on having read all the glowing reports of it revolutionising peoples' lives. So I remained on this for around 4 years (40mg) till it hit me that I didn't want to remain on any psychotropic drug for the rest of my life, the realisation that it undoubtedly damaged the taker physically and the clincher that I was tired of having unpleasant dreams every night since I had gone on it which themselves didn't exactly set me up cheerfully for the coming day . Anyway back in September this year I spoke to my GP and stated I wanted to come off it he advised a quick taper a month at 20mg and then stop. I'm even sketchy on the exact dates etc as I didn't think for a moment I'd end up in the living nightmare whrte I now find myself marooned. Anyway things seemed to be progressing well for the first around 4-6 weeks after I took my last pill. Then around 12 days ago I started to feel.physically under the weather which within a day had developed into what I thought was the norovirus stomach bug which meant I had to leave work soon after arriving thar day. Anyway what I thought was the virus gradually developed a mental component which then became all consuming. I'm not even sure now if the gastric problems were not just early physical symptoms of the withdrawal. Living by myself and being too weak to go out the psychological symptoms could start to rage unabated. The most severe depression I'd ever experienced- a feeling if utter hopelessness and devestation - anxiety so intense I could sort of feeling it tangibly in my veins, weird (a bit like a pulse of blood in my head rather than 'zaps'), random pains in my legs, terrible guilt for how I felt I had treated my parents (my wonderful mother and late father did not feel I treated them badly I know but all my years mired in the substance abuse I condemn myself for doing thatvwhen I could have made them far prouder of me). On top of all these symptoms my mother is now 89 and starting to become unwell and living 280 miles away I am trying to help get the care she needs .Finally I work as a locum worker so only get paid when I'm in work so can have no time off to deal with this or I will lose everythihg) I have just had a planned week off but this has obviously been taken by the extreme mental distress I'm experiencing with the PAWS so I'm filled with utter dread at the thought of returning to work tomorrow to a job as a medical professional where I have to interact and assist other people all day. Currently I'm just surviving thus excruciating mental torment from hour to hour Since I returned from my mother's 2 days ago I have made myself start an hours work on my exercise bike immediately on rising- I started yesterday and am about to resume in a few minutes. Also intend to force myself to go out with a local walking group at the weekend akthough that in itself may be terrifying if I suddenly have a panic attack in the middle if the countryside with people I don't know. Aside from the above described symptoms the most trivial things are irritating me especially certain sounds and can themself send me hurtling further into the abyss - yes I know that sounds ridiculous but they seem to trigger off intrusive thoughts which I then ruminate on. I have not had any form of alcoholic drink for 4 years next month - there was a long period when I had stopped the binging but believed I could drink sensibly which I now realise was a false belief in my case becsuse about 10 times in 20 years I fell off the wagon quite spectacularly and at my age that was 10 years roo much. The reason I mention this is that I went as far as buying 2 bottles of beer last night to try to give myself sone relief from this torture but I'm happy to say I left them in my car. They will be disposed of down the sink later! I feeling utterly bereft abd hopeless typing this and reading up on the possible months and years of distress ahead I must admit fleeting suicidal ideation has crossed my mind. But I would never do this to my mum and anyway it is counter to my Christian belief but I admit such strange thoughts as almost wanting to be taken seriously physically ill so I get some kind of care have appeared. I have no real family aside from my mother and because I moved 200 away from my hometown 25 years ago only a couple of friends up here abd even they live 40 miles away so it does feel a very lonely fight. I hope I haven't outstay my welcome with this introduction but felt all was necessary to explain the full situation I'm in and how I got here. I also hope that with 'only' around 2 weeks of PAWS under my belt that you do not think it too early to be typing on here. However the symptoms are clearly withdrawal syndrome and I have never felt a fraction of this torment I an in in a life that overall has not been easy. So thanks for providing this service and at least it shows I am far from alone in this awful experience. Finally restarting an AD is just not an option the only meds I would consider is prn benzos if so directed which a British doctor will thankfully never give you more than about 5 x 2.5mg a month maximum. But really I hope that this is it for me with any meds which cross the blood brain barrier for life. And aside from natural remedies I can finally clean my brain of all the pollutants which we can agree is what they all really are.

Hello I’m trying to wean off Prozac and have gotten down to 2.5 milg . I would love to be off my May 15 completely. Is this doable? I have tablets but it’s difficult to break it up after cutting the 1.25 in half.