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  1. Hi! I've been lurking on this website for quite sometime now (Over 2 years) desperate for answers and hope. I thought I’d make an introduction post just to keep track of my own progress alongside others. My memory is foggy in some parts because when I first cold turkeyed my Luvox 200 mg I didn’t think anything of it and was quite fine without it. But my rough estimate is I cold turkeyed 7/2020. I didn’t notice any symptoms regarding withdrawal until 10/2020 that’s when I relapsed in my OCD with the intrusive thought “What if I don’t love my partner?” And I spiraled into crying and anxiety. I’ve struggled with HOCD for 6 years and it was the main reason I was put on Iuvox. Funny enough throughout those 6 years my sexual function and emotions stayed in tact. But as soon as it hit 10/2020 the symptoms started almost immediately. i even developed depersonalization to the point I didn’t even feel like a woman (which I’ve never wanted to be trans or a man so it was strange to FEEL like a stranger in your own body) I started feeling so depersonalized that even talking or seeing myself freaked me out and made me feel like I wasn’t me. I think this is one of the scariest things a person can experience. The following months I had impending doom because I thought me and my bfs relationship was in jeopardy - I suddenly didn’t recognize him even though we’ve been together for 9 years and I was always in love with him. My family became foreign too and it was hard to connect with them alongside my depersonalization. When this all happened I messaged my primary care doctor to up my dose but reinstating did nothing. i stayed on 100 mg of Luvox. Fast forward to 3/21-7/21 - I had massive panic attacks where I almost believed I was about to have a heart attack. It was hard to connect with people and cognitively I declined. Making basic conversation with people was hard. And then my fiancé proposed to me and I had a panic attack during only making me believe we weren’t meant to believe. Not thinking it was due to the pill I dumbly cold turkeyed. Who would think it could impact you so much? Not me. This was also the time my sexual dysfunction took place. i realized I couldn’t feel anything during sex. My ****** became numb and even urinating felt different. It didn’t matter how much I touched myself I couldn’t feel pleasure - but scariest of all I couldn’t feel arousal. The natural feeling you get just by being kissed by my partner was gone. And then suddenly I coudn’t feel romance. And I know you don’t know me but I’ve been OBSESSED with romance my entire life. I’ve written stories about love, watched only romance anime and movies, blushed over stereotypical romantic scenes. But suddenly without attraction or emotions I couldn’t feel romantic towards my fiancé. Which scared the hell out of me. 8/21 - I became emotionally blunted. I felt neutral, even the anxiety that always bothered me was numb. I didn’t care about my job, my family, my fiancé, my cats or what happened to me. 4/22 - Emotionally blunted, again the sexual dysfunction and romantic attraction are what worries me the most. I know it’s the medication because I feel no desire for anyone else. It’s hard to laugh naturally and connect with people. i took a Thorne gut test and tested positive for gut dybosis and out of range bad bacteria. Supplements Im taking: • Fish oil • magnesium taurate •butyrate •multivitamin •liposomal vitamin c • vitamin d •Korean panax ginseng I’m tapering by 10 mg every month. I’m at 62.5 mg of Luvox currently
  2. Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.
  3. Hi all, Im male 23 from South India. English is not my first language so please forgive my grammatical mistakes. I had a bad breakup with my Ex girlfriend and went into depression,low libido and anxiety disorder. I was put on Escitalopram 5mg for one month(Mid September to mid October 2018) and I just Cold turkeyed it. My libido didn't improved but anxiety disorder was cured. First 2 months im completely fine but after that I literally faced hell. Below are the withdrawal symptoms that I have faced till date. 1. Insomnia :- I hardly slept 4 hours with this symptom. This is observed in mid January to mid May of 2019. After that it gradually improved. Now I'm able to sleep six and half hours of sleep. I feel like it improved around 70%. 2. Eye floaters :- This one just freaked me out. I started observing them since mid Feb 2019. They are really bothersome for me that time because, i can see them on my PC screen too. Gradually they disappearing. I can say they reduced to 50% of what they were earlier. I think eye folaters are related to sleep. So I hope it may be cured once im completely recovered from insomnia. 3. Diarrhea:- This one comes and goes randomly. I don't know when this will go completely. 4. Sweating :- It started in End of May 2019 and still there. 5. Loss of appetite :- No improvement at all. 6. Lack of confidence (no comments) 7. PSSD :- This one ruined my life. I have no feelings at all. No emotions nothing. Visual simulation is not making me erect anymore. I was suicidal after reading about PSSD. Now it's been 1 month since im using black maca powder. It helped to get back my morning erections and random erections. Now I'm getting erections just by fantasizing something by closing my eyes. But the URGE or DESIRE to have sex is ZERO. I'm planning to continue on Black maca for some more months. If it not works then im gonna try Inositol and SJW. Interesting thing is...... I don't know that Antidepressant do give withdrawal symptoms. My doctor didn't warned me regarding this. I passed through this hell without knowing about it. Last week i got to know about this website and then I understood what I have been through. As I was unaware of withdrawal symptoms and PSSD. I felt like I only had low libido. So I just did all the necessary stuff to bring up my testosterone. Like hitting gym(mainly squats), eating veggies (mainly leafy vegetables) fish eggs nuts, sunbath (for vitamin D). Yes, I definitely gone through waves and windows. But Im unaware of them. So I cant figure out when I had wave and windows. Hereafter I will note it. I have read so many success stories on this website and they truly helped to build my confidence. I need all of your support and advise for me to recover from this pssd. I will keep posting my status on regular basis. Thankyou all (namaste 🙏)
  4. Hi everyone - I've been reading a lot of the great advice and support here for a while and thought I'd finally tell my own story in the hope there might be some help available. I was diagnosed with CFS / Fibromyalgia in 2017 and by December 2018 had been recommended antidepressants several times as a way of combatting the symptoms (acute leg pain and anxiety mainly). You probably won't be too surprised to learn that what happened next made things ten times worse. I was prescribed Mirtazapine right at the end of December 2018 but after four weeks thought better of it. I informed my GP who advised me to simply cut my dose in half for two weeks and stop. I felt fine for a few days and met a friend for a glass of wine (again, this was approved by my GP). On the way back I suddenly felt awful, vomited when I got home and had crazy dreams that night. Within 24 hours I couldn't get out of bed, felt like my head had been hit with a baseball bat and had suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. Feeling totally alien, I hoped the feeling might fade but when it didn't I sought advice from the GP again and was eventually persuaded to take a second drug to "fix" things. This was Sertraline and I was taken up from 0-100mg over three months and back down again the reverse way for the next three months when it had become clear it wasn't helping. Knowing what I do now I cant believe the speed at which this all happened and like many others, before I realised what was happening it was too late. It's now 19 months since I have taken anything yet I feel worse and worse. The main symptoms are anhedonia, depression, depersonalisation, suicidal ideation and PSSD. I also have numb head, teeth and arms. My instinct has always been not to take anything again, especially having read that 3 months is the optimum time for reinstatement, but I guess things are pretty bad. If I were to reinstate could there be any benefit at this stage? If so I'm not even sure which of the drugs would be best to re-instate? I felt stunned coming off the first one and then slowly even worse (with PSSD developing) coming off the second. If I decide to simply wait it out and continue to abstain when might I see a turnaround I wonder? Any thoughts much appreciated thanks
  5. Greetings, after what has been almost three months suffering from a wide array of changes and symptoms that began once I stopped taking Clomipramine (Anafranil), I have finally decided to make a post here and seek out help. I was initially against it because I thought I would be digging myself deeper into a hole, but see no alternative at the moment in regards to finding hope and assistance. This really all began when I started taking Clomipramine, but manifested itself as mainly ED related problems. Nothing like emotion and attraction seemed to have been affected while I was taking Clomipramine. I was given this medication to “attempt” to help with OCD, and Depression aswell as Anxiety. I have always been a straight male (24), with a healthy sex life. I have always found women attractive, and had no issues before taking and stopping Clomipramine. The issues arose around Dec 22nd of 2021, and I will describe them below: As I stopped taking Clomipramine, I found a number of hellish side effects or symptoms that began upon cessation. These include below: -Lack of Emotions (Not sure how to describe this) -Lack of Attraction to Women (Definitely has been the MOST difficult to bear) -Sexual side effects: such as Low Libido and what first started as inability to get erect, but around the middle of February I noticed subtle improvement in this department. I now am struggling with pre-mature ejaculation, almost to an incredible degree. I am able to get erect, but it is difficult, and I have pleasureless orgasms. -Incredible amounts of anxiety over this entire situation, and feelings of complete despair and hopelessness. It’s odd because I almost feel the things I have been going through in my dreams aswell. The only thing I experienced while on the drug was ED, and difficulty reaching climax. It seems everything else began once I stopped taking it. I have taken anti-depressants in the past without issue upon ceasing them. I did smoke Marijuana while taking anti-depressants in the past, and smoked it once or twice while using Clomipramine. I was actually hospitalized for about half a month in January of 2022, because of how difficult this has all been. I feel hopeless, and completely lost. I am unable to live life without my sexuality, and feel betrayed and angered that the medication I was given to help me ended up doing this instead. The Dr. I have narrows it down to my OCD, and Anxiety. He almost refuses to recognize what I am dealing with. I will admit some concern over what part OCD might be playing in all of this, and if I am making everything worse with what has been called my “sticky brain” (attachment to problems and inability to stop thinking about them, researching about them, and worrying about them). I am looking for hope from people who’ve been in the same situation. I’ve looked online for people who’ve mentioned lack of attraction and recovery but have found few stories if any. It’s all been very surreal, and any assistance might be beneficial at this point. Thank you, and sorry for the length of my post.
  6. Branyan's success story: branyan-pssd-successchallenges First posted this today in the Symptoms forum, but since it is my first post I will post it here in hopes i can get some replies Keep in mind, that in addition to the sexual side effects (which in all honesty are the biggest deal to me, considering i lived with all the other symptoms while on the Lexapro itself and maintained a good life) I deal with cognitive difficulty, food and drink sensitivies, etc etc. "Hey all. New here. Since coming off Lexapro (after being on from Mid 2007 to March 2010) I have experience a slow decline in my sexual function which platuead in about Febuary. Generally speaking I feel unaware of my penis and sexual realm. I feel that has something to do with the pudendal nerve. Even when I can achieve an erection it is mostly numb. I cannot get visually aroused 98% of the time, and would be unable to have sex or feel intimacy at this point. This after enjoying 2 very good sexual relationships while on Lexapro. Keep in mind that the sex declined as the years went on on Lexapro. And I am only 23! Interestingly enough, the only facet of my sexual function that is somewhat intact is the actual orgasm which still feels really good. Anyway. I have been over to the YAHOO PSSD group and seen the despair over there. It sounds like this is a permanent deal, although I have had many people try to convince me otherwise. Any success stories out there> "
  7. I decided last spring that I wanted to stop taking my lexapro. I was 29 and had been prescribed 10mg since a suicide attempt at 20. I did not do a ton of research into tapering beforehand, or tell my doctor about my plans. I went down to 5mg rather quickly, around easter (I didn't keep track so the dates are all approximate). I stayed at 5mg for a few months. In June I saw my doctor, told her what I was doing and proceeded to lower my dose to 2.5mg every day, then every other day, coming off some time in July. I felt like a veil had lifted, I had more energy and motivation than I had in years, colors were brighter, I was in touch with all of my emotions. Towards the end of September, I started to feel low mood creeping back in. I live alone and do not have many friends in my city, largely due to quitting drinking in 2020, so I chalked up a lot of the mood to that. This is where I should also mention that for about 6 years, I've been taking benzos in one form or another almost daily, and for the past 3 I have taken Valium every day. I never had a prescription. I noticed that I had been increasing my dosage in step with my low mood, and for this reason and a variety of others, I resolved to begin a taper. With benzos I was more aware of the long and arduous process. I started tapering down from 20mg daily valium in October and I am currently at 11mg a day. I finally made an account on this website because the intense depression and ahnedonia, and the sexual dysfunction I've been experiencing, are getting to be excruciating, to the point that I do not always want to be alive. I have a counselor who specializes in benzo withdrawal and a psychiatrist who is able to prescribe now, but I am looking for any help I can get. Is it normal to not be hit with SSRI-discontinuation symptoms for a few months after going off? I have a hard time sorting through what can be attributed to SSRIs and what is benzos. Today I am extremely concerned about PSSD. When I first came off of Lexapro I did not experience sexual issues at all, but starting in November, I began to notice alarming changes; decreased pleasure in orgasms, less forceful and less "fruitful" ejaculations, premature ejaculations. As a 30 year old guy who wants to have a family one day, these symptoms are very concerning. I am hoping to find other people here who can offer their experiences, and, fingers crossed, give me some hope that what I am going through is not permanent. I apologize for the rambling nature of this post. I am grateful that this community exists.
  8. Hello, I am 24 years old, male and have suffered from anxiety disorder since childhood. The slightest excitement makes me nauseous, causing me to vomit. Over time it got worse and worse until I decided at 18 that I would start therapy. I did this for 3 years, unfortunately without success. At 23 (late 2019) I started taking Paroxetine (20 mg) because I had extreme university stress and was about to graduate. Within a few weeks I was feeling fabulous. The anxiety and nausea were just gone. I found my first job, my first girlfriend, and was able to do things I had never done before. I also had no side effects whatsoever. Anyway, I didn't really notice any changes. The side effects that occurred when I started paroxetine are gone (numb penis). However, I decided to stop paroxetine again and was hoping that I could go on without medication. Within 2-3 weeks, I stopped paroxetine. That was December 2020, however, within a few days I started to suffer of premature ejaculation. But after a few weeks, this side effect was gone. I was then perfectly fine without the drug for the next 6 months. Until I panicked again. So I took paroxetine again. But this time 10 mg. I took this for 2 months and slowly stopped. From 10 mg to 5 mg and then completely stopped after 2 weeks. The reason I didn't want to take paroxetine anymore was that I couldn't have sex. It would have been my first time, however, I had problems to get and hold an erection. Before taking this med, I was kind of hypersexual and aroused easily. I didn't have this problem when I took paroxetine from 2019-2020. The last time I took paroxetine was 08-28-2021. As the last withdrawal, I suffer from premature ejaculation. But it is still difficult to get and hold an erection. I also have the feeling that it actually got worse when I stopped. Also the desire to cuddle is not there. I feel very little love. Something like anhedonia? To me it sounds like PSSD. I don't know what to do. I took paroxetine for 1 year and did not have such problems. And these 2 months have destroyed my brain. I should have never taken the drug a second time. Unfortunately, I was never aware of the side effects. I didn't know that side effects could continue after stopping.
  9. I am a 27 years old man. I was on sertraline 100mg for about 8 years. While being on the medication I could not attain penile erection. Tried to have sex with my girlfriend multiple times but failed everytime. My penis felt unresponsive to any sexual stimulus. This was very distressing and hence I stopped taking the medicine by slowly tapering it off. It has been 10 months since I last ingested the medicine but the sexual dysfunction is persistent. I still cannot attain erection and in an addition I have been facing the problem of severe premature ejaculation since I stopped taking the SSRI.Moreover, my memory has been highly affected by the drug. I struggle to remember everyday things. I cannot concentrate. I don't feel emotions. It feels like I am dead from inside. And I almost always feel a burning sensation in my brain. The drug has profoundly impacted my brain functions. I am very helpless right now. My life has become an unbearable tragedy. I don't know what I should do now. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl who wants to marry me. I am desperate to have a family. But I am afraid to go further given my condition. I am completely helpless and somehow surviving the distress caused by PSSD. I am eagerly waiting to hear from my peers in this forum.
  10. I was on Sertraline for 6 weeks. Week 1,2 - 50mg Week 3 - 100mg Week 4 -50mg Week 5,6 - 25mg Stopped. I still suffers PSSD symptoms 3 months after stopping the ssri. Was the tapering wrong? What I need to do now?
  11. Hi everybody this is my 2 year story. I'll try and keep it short and detailed. I suffered from GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and had panic attacks since the age of 5. My anxiety was triggered by my parent's divorce but i was able to overcome it twice in my life. When i was 14 i was diagnosed with IBS. I had it pretty bad so i got really down about it and probably had mild situation depression. I (unfortunately) saw this article in class one day about anxiety, depression etc and they pretty much advertised anti depressants. I always knew there must of been meds for anxiety/depression but i figured i was just too young for them. Being a typical 14 year old I thought i was a hot shot and should be old enough for anything. That night i pretty much convinced myself i was depressed and told my mum to take me to the hospital so i could try some medication (so stupid i know - they really made it sound like anti-depressants could really really help - even for IBS (LOL)) I was given 10mg of celexa (citalopram). That's right. You can just walk right into the hospital, say your depressed and you want medication and they'll give it to you. After a while i went up to 20 mg which is where i stayed for a while. This is also where i first noticed the anhedonia - which got better but not 100%. I also noticed that i couldn't "visualize" anything in my mind anymore like the tv in my mind was more vague or something. After a while though some of the numbing effects of the celexa wore off. I actually liked the numbing though because it really eased my anxiety - although i didn't know i wouldn't be able to feel pleasure to its fullest extant again. So around the end of my use i went up to 30mg for a while and slowly i went up to 40mg. Yes, a 15 year old was advised by a psychiatrist to go that high. But it was only for no more than a month or two. I surely felt a little drugged and I believe it was mostly then that i started to notice mild sexual symptoms (premature ejaculation). Once i tapered off for about a month from 20-40mgs, and all the normal withdrawal symptoms went away, i noticed PSSD 2 weeks after the last celexa. It was pretty mild, i only had premature ejaculation and minor other problems. I also had anhedonia and the TV in my mind thing too but other than that i felt pretty much normal. So Celexa for 8-9 months. At this point i was already on a low dose Elavil (10mgs). It gave me bad bloating and heart palps especially when i tried to go to 20mg but i could tolerate 10mg but it wasn't really doing any good. My psychiatrist insisted that i stayed on it though so I did for less than a year. I eventually went on clonazepam for 4 weeks and tapered for 3. I just took it when i needed it which was like once per 1-2 weeks on average. So after lets say 6 months after celexa I went off elavil and got on zoloft (sertraline). I still had the mild/moderate anhedonia, premature ejaculation, minor erection problems and the visualization thing. I continued to have heart palps, bloating from time to time (still get it now lol) and i found that my cognitive and energy was lagging too. I went on 25mg of sertraline to start with, and found that my PSSD pretty much went away. My anhedonia was better too which i think i noted but i still found music to not be quite as enjoyable than before and that it didn't automatically fill my mind with images like it used too before meds. However my sexual confidence sky rocketed even at almost 16 lol. To be honest i didn't think the meds caused my PE, i knew anxiety could do it so i thought it was just that. My first sexual encounter was not long before the meds and i realize now that i lasted MUCH longer than after. The PSSD only went away for about 2-3 weeks as to be expected until the delayed ejaculation side effect began to fade. In an attempt to regain that side effect i went on 50mg of sertraline but the PSSD didn't get any better despite my "depression" seeming to have improved. I didn't feel many side effects on this drug except that i would start to cry over happy things and laugh at sad things, almost like weird trigger response to stimuli. All these symptoms i still have by the way. That summer, being on zoloft i began smoking cannabis. I only smoked moderately to regularly for about 2 and a half months. It really helped with my anhedonia, boosted my libido and made my orgasms amazing. I dont feel like it would have the same effect now for some reason though. I also went on a low dose of buspar for a couple of months on top of all of this. So that summer i was on zoloft 50mg, smoking cannabis, and taking buspar. PSSD same as always. ultimately, i only took zoloft(sertraline) for 6 months. I tapered zoloft really badly. It was like a 3 week taper from 50mg, to 25mg to nothing. I didn't take the dosages consistently, it was just horrible. I had a bad acute withdrawal, with a lot of muscle tenseness, stress, bloating, brain zaps, etc. Most of these went away except i still have the floating stress/tenseness feeling even now. During my initial W/D i went through a lot of stress as well which didn't help of course. however, as the months went past and i started smoking less and less, i noticed more and more symptoms. fatigue, dizziness, visual symptoms, dp/dr, cognitive problems, head pressure, hyper sensitive to stress, sleep problems, light headedness, tinnitus, etc.... over time the PSSD began getting worse, so did the anhedonia, depression started kicking in, i had sinus problems, headaches, muscle weakness, insomnia, cold feet, hair loss, etc the list goes on. Whats funny is my IBS is quite a lot better than it ever was, i barely ever think about it. However despite the initial symptoms going away, most have not. My pssd continues to worsen (possibly due to another cause - still ruling things out) and my my depression/anhedonia, memory, cognitive function, depersonalization/derealization, severe visual distortions etc continues to decline. I dont have the dizziness or head pressure as much but it comes and goes. So there you have it. All of this happened within about 2 years. I know its not much compared to a lot of people here but the effect that these pills have had on me is more than anything i could ever have imagined. I've gone from mild/moderate pssd to moderate to severe sexual dysfunction, my vision has gone from just being short sighted to being completely distorted, a lost my empathy and passion and many other things. everything today is a chore and an effort, i have very little energy, etc etc and i'm 17 months off of zoloft, and the last substance i've ever taken was cannabis so i'm technically 14 months off if you count that and the few benzos i took. I know its early but any reassurance that i will recover really helps. I've had a few good days with my energy, relaxation, cognitive function and possibly even the anhedonia (not by much though). however, the general trend has been an overall decline in function which is very scary. Could it be that this decline suggests that my body is recovering and that i will feel better somewhere down the line? I hope so. So to recap : 20mg Celexa, to 40mg 1 month tapper Elavil - 10 mg. No more Celexa. PSSD symptoms Clonazepam for 1 month. 1 month tapper. took when needed for over a year. Off Elavil Zoloft 25mg to 50mg about 6 months + Buspar Smoking MJ Tapered inconsistently for 2 weeks REALLY bad stress (situational) - Last Sertraline Oct 2012 - Last clonazepam Nov 2012. - Last cannabis Jan 2013 Thanks for reading guys. I'm 17 years old, turning 18 next month and i'm 17 months out.
  12. Hello everyone! I’m on my last leg of tapering right now at 2.5 mg of Prozac and boy does that small dose of 2.5 mg make a difference! I’ll give you all some background information about me and my history with SSRI’s and just overall tell my story so to speak. I’m currently 19 years old attending university (I had to drop out last semester because of the withdrawal from tapering, but I’m back at it!). The first SSRI I ever took was sertraline (Zoloft) at 50 mg for social anxiety and subsequently depression. I think I was thirteen at the time. It pains me to think back to that little boy and how much pain he was in. The sertraline helped a bit. My mother noticed a change in me more than I did. After only a couple of months however, I started to experience some emotional blunting. I didn’t know what it was at the time, I just knew I felt flat. We told our family doctor and he agreed that I should stop taking it. I did not taper and I did not experience any withdrawal. The next couple of years I don’t think I took any SSRI’s. I was still depressed and socially anxious at times, but I made a promise to myself that I would make a serious effort to make friends. It was my first real effort at exposure therapy and I did it all by myself. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that my obsessive rumination eventually became too strong for me to handle. It was then that I began taking 20 mg of Prozac. I can’t remember when I started. Most likely between August 2015 to December 2015. I do remember however that I did not have any notable side effects. I still felt the full range of emotions and my sexuality functioned like clockwork. In May 2016, my obsessive thinking got worse due in part to a rejection from a girl I liked. I began to believe that the Prozac wasn’t doing anything, so I went to a doctor and he switched me onto 20 mg of Paxil. It would be later on in the summer of 2016 that I would see a psychiatrist. I complained of extreme lethargy and often times couldnt sleep until four in the morning so he prescribed Wellbutrin at 150 mg and some Trazodone that I would take as needed. The Trazodone effectively zombified me so I avoided it often. (Side note: eventually I mentioned the Trazodone to this druggy kid in my creative writing class. He was literally on acid at the time and he said, “You take Trazodone?! Dude I used to snort that stuff. Don’t **** with that ****.”😂) Over time I stopped believing the Paxil or Wellbutrin had any effect on me. I even started to believe they might be a placebo at the time. I did however notice that I was becoming extremely angry all the time, something completely unlike myself. It was as if the only thing the pills had done was replace my depression with anger. I could also cry at a moments notice. I remember my family and I visited the freedom tower memorial in NY and it took everything in me not to burst out into tears. Because of the anger and my belief the pills were placebos, I eventually decided to stop both the Paxil and Wellbutrin cold turkey. This was in December 2016. I didnt have any notable withdrawal symptoms. No brain zaps or physical problems. My sexuality functioned as it always had. My depression however began to amplify. Sometimes, knowing what I know now, I wonder if this extreme depression was induced partly from withdrawal. It was stronger than any I’d previously had. I was constantly ruminating. I couldn’t sit still for a second without being uncomfortable and anxious. My mind was constantly replaying loops of embarrassing things I had done. Often times I would wake up in the middle of the night with an embarrassing memory and then spend the rest of the night in terror as it played over and over in my head. When I went to school, I felt paranoid. I absolutely hated myself. It is important to note however that I was not suicidal. Eventually I gave up. It took two week of me not going to school or even leaving my room for that matter for my parents to decide what to do with me. Eventually my mom found a treatment center for OCD and anxiety. I was skeptical at first. I had seen therapists in the past. They were well meaning, but they had little impact on my depression. We made an appointment with the director of the clinic. When she first walked in I expected nothing. She was very direct and got right to the point telling me that she might be able to help me or she might not. Either way it would be up to me to put in the effort. I agreed to do their intensive outpatient program. For three hours every day I would be exposed to my deepest fears. Initially she suggested medication, however I refused because of my bad experience on Paxil and Wellbutrin. After a month of IOP however, I still wasn’t getting better. Eventually I caved in. I was desperate. I went to the doctor and he prescribed 40 mg of Prozac and 25 mg of lamictal. When I began taking the Prozac at 20 mg, my mood lifted immediately. For the first time in forever my onslaught of obsessive thought began to abate. Suddenly I was convinced these pills weren’t placebo. I worked up to 40 mg and quickly graduated from the IOP. There were no side effects. I still had a considerable range of emotion and my sexuality worked just fine. But then the Prozac pooped out on me in December of 2017. By then I was beginning to feel depressed again. This should have been a warning that this med wasn’t a long term solution, but I was oblivious to the side effects at the time. I made my way up to 60 mg for a month and then eventually 80 mg in February 2018, the maximum dose. This dose was effective. My depression ceased almost instantly. It wasn’t until around June 2018 on 80 mg that I began to notice some strange things happening. At first I didn’t realize they were due to the Prozac. I began to have these odd states where my thinking was clouded, almost like my brain was fried. It was difficult to form words, and I often felt no emotion whatsoever in these states, but it would go away after a good night sleep, so I didn’t think too much of it. Then I met a girl and began dating her. I quickly noticed that I simply couldn’t fall in love with her, despite the fact that we got along together great and she was beautiful. All my romantic feelings we’re muted compared to what I had felt before. And then my dog ran away. At the time I knew I should be sad, but I couldn’t muster up the emotion. It was like I had to sneeze but the sneeze wouldn’t come. The sadness was almost there, I just couldn’t experience it fully. It was around this same time that I realized that my interest in sex was beginning to dwindle. Because of these things I realized I need to make a change. I began taking two 40 mg pills every other day and then two pills on the rest of the days. This was in the beginning of August 2018. My goal was to get to 40 mg. I did not have any significant withdrawal issues. In fact, initially, my sex drive increased. What did happen is that my depression returned. Because of this my doctor prescribed Wellbutrin at 150 mg. I had to stop taking it because I became extremely suicidal. Every waking thought revolved around me killing myself. I was anxious and irritable and definitely had the energy to do carry out my plans. Thankfully, I stopped taking the Wellbutrin after a week and these thoughts went away. It was this experience that convinced me how harmful these meds can be. Unfortunately I did not know how to taper properly and went way too fast with decreases of 20 mg every 2 weeks. Eventually I got to zero for a couple days but my therapist convinced me to stay on them. Stupidly I jumped all the way back up to 40 mg. But then after two weeks I decided once again that I needed to get off them. I did not know I was playing with fire. Once again I went super fast. When I made it to zero this time however, new symptoms began to hit. I got what I realize now is akathisia. If I tried to read my brain couldn’t form the words into sentences. I began sleeping very little. Most disconcerting, my penis had shriveled up and gotten freezing cold and I stopped getting nocturnal erections(morning wood). It was this that caused me to reinstate my taper after only four days at 0 mg. I went back up to 40 mg over two weeks and my sexual functioning more or less returned. My sex drive however did not. By then I knew what I was really in for. After that I began to taper much slower. This was probably stupid, but I would cut the pills in half and estimate the amount of powder I would take. I did this until December 2018 and made it to 10 mg. Then I got pills that I could cut into smaller pieces and bought a scale and I have been using this method ever since. Throughout the taper, emotional anesthesia arose as a prominent symptom. My sexuality is no longer similar to pre drug levels or even similar to what it was while I was on the drug. It has definitely gotten worse as I’ve decreased the drug. However, so far it seems that after each time I have decreased my dose, my ability to maintain an erection would vanish and then more or less reappear after a couple weeks. Currently I am at 2.5mg! 🎉The akathisia has mostly abated (although I’m sure it’ll come back once I’m fully off the drug) I feel emotionally numb all the time. I feel like I have lost my identity and have no access to my memories. I remember them but I feel nothing when I do. Listening to music is pointless. I no longer play my guitar. My erections are fickle, and I have no sex drive at all. I do still have feeling in my penis, so I am not dealing with genital anesthesia. The closer I get to zero however, the less my penis functions. I even went down to about 0.5 mg and my penis went cold like the time I went to 0 mg a couple months ago. It seems the blood flow returned when I went back to 2.5 yesterday; however, my penis head has these odd striations on it. I am afraid of developing genital anathesis post taper. For those who had genital anesthesia, when did this symptom appear for you? My fear is that the lack of blood supply and lack of erections will lead to nerve atrophy in my penis. For this reason I am taking the rest of my taper even slower than initially planned. As long as my penis doesn’t get cold, I will continue to taper. I have also turned my diet around and cut out sugar and gluten. I want to exercise but this seems to trigger the akathisia so I’ve put it on hold. Im against all supplements as I’ve had bad experienced with them. One thing this site taught me is how cautious I have to be so that my nervous system can heal. Does anyone have any advice for me? Do you think because I haven’t experienced physical symptoms (yet at least) like nausea or muscle pain or even brain zaps that I’ll be able to heal fairly quickly? Or will these effects most likely simply appear once I’m finally off the drug. Prozac does have a long half life after all. What do you guys think? Im also wondering when (or if) my emotions will return post taper. For those who have regained the full range of emotions, were you able to look back at emotional memories and feel what you felt in that moment? Does music sound good again? Lastly, when can I expect symptoms of nueroemotions? I’m actually looking forward to this symptoms as it will mean my emotions are returning and that I don’t have permanent damage. Thank you if you took the time to read this, and sorry if it’s a little long. (p.s. Altostrata if you read this thank you for everything you have done. I’ve spent the past month browsing this site on and off and the level of charity you display is phenomenal. Thank you!)
  13. Hi, I am a 27 year old male in India working as an engineer in a telecom company. At start of the year I had a brief psychotic breakdown from work related stress and consulted a psychiatrist. I was on olanzapine aripiprazole and fluoxetine. After a couple of months on the meds I started to notice that I was getting significantly worse and could not do my job properly, my mind became clouded and I was unable to think and slow to react. I started drooling in my sleep and hairloss began. In panic I decided to stop all medication cold turkey. The immediate withdrawal symptom was that I began to sleep 12-14 hours a day and getting off bed seemed next to impossible. Then slowly the tragedy began to unfold after a month or so. I started feeling so weak that I could hardly ever get off bed and go to office. Hunger vanished and I hardly managed two meals a day. Then I found out that music became unappealing so did movies and everything else including exercise that used to provide me relief from stress. I lost all interest in the opposite sex, cannot even masturbate to porn anymore.Orgasms are not pleasurable and sensitivity in my genitals is close to null. I am now basically an asexual being with nothing that gives me pleasure. Suffered severe weight loss. I feel trapped inside unable to react to the outside world. I have spent the last month searching for various means of suicide on the internet as I have nothing to look forward to in life. If you can't enjoy anything and always lie in bed life is not worth living. Also there's no chance of me being in a relationship or getting married. I can no longer hang out with friends, considering how different I have become from them, and can't enjoy anything. PSSD has made me more anxious than ever, with libido crashing to zero.
  14. Hello guys , please spare a few minutes to read it and help me with this. I am from India 25 male In April of 2019 ,during my 3rd semester break, I had a breathing issue (one side nose block )and a sleep (cycle )problem,so I went to ent doc- dx with right sinusitis (not severe ) . For the sleeping cycle issue ,he told to see psychiatry (his wife ) and she prescribed DEP®@n L combination of ( Le×@pro 5 mg + clo≠zepam 0.25 mg ) for 14 days and told to stop After stopping , I had symptoms like - heart pounding ,anxiety , concentration issues, irritability . So I expected it to go away, but it didn't .So I went to another psychiatrist after 6 month (oct 2019),and he prescribed p®@xil (p®@xidep cr 12.5 mg ) ( oct 2019 to Jan 2020) i took for 3 months. while taking this durg my irritability ,anger increased .After stopping the drug I had symptoms of acid reflux ,pounding heart , muscle twitching,anxiety ,anger issue , irritability , indigestion i couldn't eat like before my food consumption decreased,sweating at night , waking at midnight 2am ,mild erectile dysfunction , orgasm decreased slightly ,mild heat intolerance . These severe affects lasted 6 months (aug 2020) and gradually decreased ,but the following symptoms did not -anxiety ,acid reflux, sexual side affects Somehow, I graduated in 2020 Feb 2021 due to exam pressure my sleep cycle changed - anxiety increased so I decided to take it again p®@xil (p®@xidep cr 12.5 mg ) this was the biggest mistake that i have ever made. . While taking the drug I felt dizzy all the time . on 12 th day I got severe gi distress and complete sexual dysfunction that shocked me so I stopped (Feb 2021) that drug cold trukey after that I had total sexual dysfunction ,can't feel emotion,severe acid reflux, heat intolerance ,throat pain ,blurry vision ,fatigue ,muscle pain , shivering, frequent urination ,fear increased , social anxiety ,panic attack,bloating , inability to burp , indigestion,muscle twitching, heart palpitation , headache,bounding pluse , wake up at midnight , can't able to sleep at right time always varies , exercise ability decreased , anger to the peak , irritability, confusion,can't concentrate ,eyelids felt always tired ,anxiety increased . this lasted about 7 to 9 months severely (June 2021) and gradually decreased .now this is my 17 th month slightly improved i can exercise more than 20 mins but still have most of this symptoms especially total sexual dysfunction ,anxiety ,indigestion ,muscle pain , concentration problem . In my first 2 attempts I couldn't study properly and in my 3rd attempt I did some but not enough, so I failed in all my attempts. I am going to write another one this year .my problem is that i can't study for long (8hrs-10hrs) and have concentration problem .Almost wasted a year and a half of my life .i have read "withdrawal and tapering 101".i am planning to reinstate very low dose ssri ? Anyone here been through something similar and recovered ? What lab tests do I have to take ? Can anyone help me with this ? I am obsessed with my sexual dysfunction always thinking about it makes me sick . My friends passed the exam a year ago ,but I am still struggling . I shouldn't have taken antidepressants 😔 What should I do ? Plz give me some suggestions
  15. Hi everyone, just wanted to share my story (and hopefully my eventual recovery). I am 20 years old, and was 19 when I started on 50mg of Sertraline I was prescribed it in Feb 2015 for social anxiety and took it for a month. Quit cold turkey because I felt pretty depersonalised, and cause of the sexual side effects. All of my symptoms came on during my time on the drug or shortly afterwards. They are: Dulling of emotion/Anhedonia - Have felt sadness a few times, and anger a few times. No joy, no passion, maybe some flashes of love but that's it. Unable to relate to characters in books/TV. Dimunition of visual imagination - I used to daydream constantly prior to taking the drug. Since cold turkeying the pictures in my mind are very blurred and I am no longer able to daydream. Loss of creativity - Before the drug I used to read a lot, and when I read I always felt like ideas were constantly popping into my brain. Since I stopped medication this no longer happens. I feel like I am reading the words on the page very superficially.. Physical numbness in brain - Feels like there's a great pressure in the frontal lobe of my head, almost like it is torn (but there is no pain) PSSD - No libido, anorgasmia, difficulty getting and maintaining erections (too much information but I want to be thorough here) No fatigue behind eyes - this one isn't necessarily negative, but since stopping the drug my eyes never get tired regardless of how much time I spend using screens or reading. Possible other symptoms that could be unrelated: Muscle twinges (very mild), worsening of eyesight (20/20 vision pre medication), urine delay (is considerably better now) Improvements - I saw very positive changes when it came to anorgasmia and erections around 6 months into my withdrawal. Unfortunately it seems like in the past 2 months things have gone back to square one. The physical pressure in my head varies a lot, and is definitely much better than it was at the start of my withdrawal (though it still gets very bad). I couldn't read for the first 6 months of this withdrawal because I got absolutely no enjoyment out of it and that was depressing because I used to love reading prior to the drug. Now I read a bit, and it feels nicer than doing nothing I guess, but seriously if that's an improvement in my anhedonia then it's 0% to 1%, because I still have zero positive emotion. General - I feel hopeless about recovery a lot of the time. I have suicidal thoughts but would never commit suicide because of the effect that would have on my mum. I browse through the forums looking for recovery stories, but it seems like most people who recover haven't had this constant anhedonia, and were in a more turbulent emotional withdrawal. If anyone who is in my position, or anyone who was in my position but recovered, could reply I'd be very grateful. Many thanks, Raven
  16. hi everyone, I have been reading posts on this website for a while and decided it's time to join and tell my story. I was diagnosed with Anxiety, depression at 14. I didn't go on meds till about age 19. I first took Paxil for about 6 months when I was severely depressed then stopped because of the side effects. At that time I wasn't taking it regularly or every day so I didn't have or notice any withdrawal symptoms. I started taking wellbutrin around age 24 for about a year or so from what I remember. I stopped that as well because of the side effects. No withdrawal symptoms from what I remember. Then I read about 5htp(5-Hydroxytryptophan) on the internet. Which was what I thought a "natural" anti depressant. I read that 5htp is a replacement for tryptophan which was no longer sold in Canada or US. I took this for about 4 years and took 100mg a few times a week with food. I remember reading somewhere that this should only be taken short term and not long term. But of course I didn't listen. I recently stopped taking 5htp about 2 months ago. Since then I've had some sleeping problems, headaches and pain in my stomach. But nothing too major. However the main reason I am here is because of PSSD(Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction) if that term even applies with 5htp. I first noticed problems last summer when I met a girl. I had problems with getting an erection hard enough for intercourse. I never thought much of it at the time because I didn't really like her too much. However I met someone I did like about 4 months ago and had the same problem with my erections. I also had problems getting an erection when I masturbated which started about 4 months ago, and was getting delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation and loss of feeling which was a real alarm for me. I wasn't too much into porn when I did masturbate before and just used my thoughts(hot women etc) when I did masturbate. But once I started having problems with my erections I started watching porn thinking that it would help. But it didn't really help that much or if anything made it worse. So I went to the doctor got blood work done, urinalysis and check for low testosterone and he said everything was fine, it's just Psychological. Since I stopped taking 5htp 2 months ago and all supplements my erections have improved somewhat and get the "morning wood" on and off but it's still a big challenge. My question to everyone on here is do you think 5htp can be the cause of my sexual dysfunctions? I've read posts from other members that have had pssd but again that was from taking prescribed anti-depressents and not 5htp? Sorry for the long read and I hope this was the right place to post this. I don't know what else to do. Thank you all for reading.
  17. Hi all, Long story short. Was anorexic last year until Christmas, starting recovering from that/weight restoring in January 2016. One of the ED therapists I worked with told me anxiety peaks once weight it restored, which happened (although didn't learn this until recently) - end of April 2016 I went into psychiatric hold because the anxiety was making me suicidal. Big mistake. Doc there put me on 20mg of Citalopram. For the next month I did therapy which along with an occasional Benzo resolved the anxiety. By May the Citalopram kicked in, with all its side effects. Extreme nausea, dry heaving, insomnia, weight gain, hunger cues messed up (already were from anorexia, but worsened), acne, gynecomastia, swollen fingers, fatigue - so bad (daily nausea was excrutiating) I nearly killed myself at the end of June. But I finally found a good doc, who through the next month of tests, determined it was the meds. Began tapering first day in August, 20 mg to 15 mg. Took a supp called Serosyn with 5HTP, L-theanine, and B vitamins. Withdrawal consisted of chapped lips in in the first week, increased hunger (I could be full but my brain still screamed to eat), fatigue (different form than when on 20 mg), wired feeling and weight gain. Leveled off a bit after 3 weeks, although I should have stayed there longer (but I didn't because the effects of 20 mg have been so bad that I've been trying to get off asap). 2 and a half weeks ago went down to 10 mg. Like before, chapped lips in the first week, wired feeling persisting, continued weight gain, and insatiable hunger. As before the lips are healing, but the hunger is still messed up (early fullness, insatiable hunger). Tired still, waking up hungry even after eating a lot at night. Haven't exercised in 8 months - first b/c of anorexia recovery, by now b/c exercise messes up my hunger cues/I cannot seem to physically eat enough. Worried I've been too aggressive with the taper, and that I'm doing irreparable damage to my nervous system. I wonder if I should reinstate 15 mg (scared it won't help/cause more complications) and start a slower taper? Seriously scared reinstating will mess things up even more, but equally scared that I've dropped too fast and have messed up my nervous system irreparably (and that my hunger cues/weight, which have been messed since starting anorexia recovery, are doomed for life). tl;dr: 20 mg citalopram was full of terrible side effects, dropped to 15 and then to 10 pretty quickly, and paying the price; wondering if I should wait it out for another week to see if anything improves like the 20-15 drop, or reinstate 15 and go slower from there (also scared I'm ruined for the rest of my life, I've had to quit a lot of things because of this damn med). On the bright side, gynecomastia, acne, and such are improving as expected. But this messed up hunger is getting at me (as is the weight gain and general crap feeling that I've had ever since starting this med).
  18. hi I’m spoonbill I’ve been anhedonic, cognitively impaired and mentally I’ll since highschool I’m 2016 when I abused a lot of adderall and mdma. Although I was more functional. My history also includes a couple years of Prozac st like age 13. But when it really got bad was last December after 5 days of cymbalta. I had tried a few ssris and sunrise for about a week or two previous to the cymbalta. I was also taking various nootropics like psilocybin, nac, lionsmane but I think for those 5 days I was just taking cymbalta anyway this cymbalta completely changed my awareness. It made me more numb, caused pssd, and made my executive functioning waaay worse. I’m like a different person. I’m way more miserable. Less witty and struggle with so much irritation and inability to see social lines and communicate. I just cannot understand how this happened. It feels like brain damage to me. I feel trapped. And suicidal for the first time in my life. It’s been months and only partially improved. I’m working 40 hours a week and suffering. **** man. What do I do? I don’t even like the same things or think or see things the same way any advice is appreciated . Keep your head up. I know how it is.
  19. Graphic content PIED - porn induced erectile dysfunction PSSD - post SSRI sexual dysfunction Before reading, this will be long, i will really appreciate if you take few minutes to read and help me diagnose if my issue is related to ssri or not. I put some sexual details about myself to describe my dysfunction. My story : 1) Background: i am 26 years old, healthy, fit, was hypersexual, high sex drive, masturbated alot, abused porn in the last few years, but never had an issue, i was able to easily get erections in 15 seconds just by resting my hands on my penis, unvoluntary 1 hour long hard erections during long bus rides, unintentional embarrassing erections when a kid jumps on my lap, with no sexual intention. Was able to get hard just by thinking about sex. Now in just a matter of few months, i have zero libido, erectile dysfunction, no urges to masturbate or watch porn. After abstinence, i get brief moments( minutes) of good libido followed by hard erections, only able to have erections in the morning as soon as i wake up and still in bed. Other than that i am dead and unable to get aroused or have erections with the exception of those brief moments i told you about. I have two explanations, porn induced erectile dysfunction and sexual exhaustion or PSSD. Now for the Story : in December, due to anxiety and panic attacks from stress in college, visited a psychiatrist, he prescribed to me venlafaxine (TEDEMA) 10mg. And a benzodiazepine prazepam 10mg. in December, i used venlafaxine 10mg twice a day for a week, then once a day for a week and i stopped. and prazepam occasionally until February. In February, i started venlafaxine but only for a week until my dose run out and stopped. I also used propranolol during January to control my panic attacks. I stopped the snri because i had delayed ejaculation, which i reach the edge of orgasm and it runs away so i have to try hard to trigger an orgasm. Also my penis looked smaller flaccid. In January, i noticed that sometimes when i masturbated, my penis wasn't fully hard, i gave that to 40mg propranolol side effects. In February, March, i suddenly lost interest in my girlfriend and i broke up with her, but i still masturbated and watched porn daily, i notice sometimes my penis wasn't as hard as it used to be. But only sometimes. In April, i notice that when masturbating, i lose erection as soon as i stop stimulation. At that moment i was shocked and since then, i had no libido to masturbate, watch porn. So could PSSD come after some months, or was it because of my excessive porn use and masturbation? Last year i could masturbate 4 times a day and always rock hard. What i tried for recovery: I learned about nofap(abstinence) in August. So in September, i stopped porn and masturbation, i didn't have any desires anyway. After 40 days, i had consistent morning wood of good quality for 2 weeks. After that, it was inconsistent and varied in quality. I had 3 days around day 50, where my penis became very sensitive, and each time i lay in bed, i get very aroused and felt extremely horny followed by the hardest erections i had in a long time. Then back to zero in the evening of the 3rd day. There were short brief moments of libido but they don't last more than a minute. I try talking dirty with a girl i know on the phone to test myself, it feels like a job, i get occasionally a weak erection that lasts seconds. But there were times where suddenly after a while i get very aroused and have an erection. At day 70, i masturbated 4 times with few hours in between, first time i had inconsistent erection where it could be good then fades away. Secons Second time, i had a good erection all time, 3rd and 4th time, i was limp and slightly hard as i was about to ejaculate. I regained morning wood after 3 days. Now and since few weeks, i only can have an erection in the morning if i try to stimulate myself with hand, not very strong but good overall. But in the afternoon and night, no matter how hard i try, i cannot make my penis become erect. Also some mornings i feel some libido and i could get erections by fantasy, but only while still in bed before waking up. Please help me diagnose if this is pssd or porn related. If this is pssd, definitely i will prefer to die, i had bad days where i punch the wall and the closet, i cry in bed every night feeling bad about myself, and i think about suicide especially i am alone and i don't have family or friends. I never cried since i was 14 after my father's death, now because of pssd worries i broke down and cried. I quit college, lost all hope and motivation for life, please don't tell me it's depression, i was depressed all my life but never had sexual dysfunction like this.
  20. Hi! First of all apologize for my english, it’s not my native language. I’m a 35 year old male and I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression when I was 21. Since that moment I took so many different antidepressants that I can’t even remember all their names. Until I was 30 years old I took mainly Lyrica (Pregabalin) and Entact (Escitalopram) and I never experienced any sexual collateral symptoms from them. When I was 30 years old a traumatic event changed my life (the girlfiend I had since I was 22 left me) and those meds were no longer effective to treat my anxiety and depression. Since that moment I changed a lot of different types of antidepressants (and also some antipsychotics) without any sexual problem. The one who worked better for me was Anafranil (Clomipramine) 25 mg. I started taking it 2 and a half years ago in combination with Lantanon (Mianserin) 15 mg and Rivotril (Clonazepam) 3 drops each day. I have to admit that they worked great for my symptoms, I was feeling very well. I started taking them in May 2019 and after some months I started suffering from anorgasmia. My psychiatrist assured me it was a temporary effect of Anafranil. During the following year and a half I was single, so not sexually active. Anyway I noticed a progressive decrease in libido but I didn’t give too much importance to this problem (my bad). I also replaced Mianserin with Trazodone for a couple of months because for a certain period it was difficult to find it in my country. 5 months ago I had the first occasions to have sex in 1 and a half year and was in that moment that I truly realized how my libido has been destroyed by the meds. I tried to have sex in 3 different occasions but failed miserably every time. Since that moment I can’t achieve a full and stable erection without Cialis (but it doesn’t work all the time) even during masturbation. I immediately told to my psychiatrist about the situation and he told me that Anafranil could do that but it was reversible. So I stopped taking Anafranil in October 2021 and I started taking Buspirone, since he said it has always worked to resolve those side effects of tricyclic antidepressants.I took only Buspirone for 3 weeks but without any significant improvements. So I decided to go to an andrologist, who prescribed me a “rehabilitation therapy” with cialis 5 mg 3 times a week for a month (ormonal values are normal). In his opinion my impotence was caused by a mixture of organic and psychological factors. At this point I started panicking. I went back to my psychiatrist and I explained him the situation and told him I was afraid i got PSSD. He told me that there isn’t any scientific evidence of PSSD and that it is all in my head. In his opinion i developed an obsession for the sexual dysfunctions I had when I was taking Anafranil and now some psychological dynamics cause the dysfunctions to persist after discontinuation. He prescribed me another SSRI (Fluvoxamine) in order to get rid of this obsession. I told him I was too afraid to take it because I’m worried it could worsen my symptoms but he answered me there isn’t any risk. I went to another andrologist two months ago who prescribed me 3 months of Cialis Daily (5 mg) and one month of complete abstinence from porn and masturbation (???). The abstinence improves the situation a little bit and Cialis daily almost resolved the ED but I’m afraid to develop tachyphylaxis taking it every day. I found a new psychiatrist who believes me and recognize PSSD. She told me that there’s no cure and the only thing I can do is to avoid SSRI and wait. Two months ago I started to do cognitive behavioral therapy to reduce the distress caused by the situation, which helps me a little bit. At the moment I’m taking only 1 drop (0.1 mg) or Rivotril (Clonazepam) any other day to contain the severe anxiety caused by this condition. Since I stopped Anafranil I don’t suffer of anorgasmia anymore but my libido is still very low and I have pretty severe ED along with a strong anhedonia and cognitive dysfunction (sh*tty memory, can’t focus etc..) Right now because of this situation i suffer from extreme anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts every day. Anyway I try to stay phisically active (I run 1/2 times a week) and to spend time with my friends to get some relief from this mental torture but I can’t open up with them because I’m ashamed of the condition I put myself into. Since I also have traits of OCD I’m worried that psychogenic factors could play a huge role in my situation, preventing me to feel any possibile improvements.
  21. ADMIN NOTE Here is cake's Introductions topic: Cakesgimmecakes here. I was asked to give an update. I am fully recovered from Prozac withdrawal at this point. It's been 3 years and 2.5 months EXACTLY today. The issues SSRIs left me with are things I'm still contending with, which are hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue, digestive issues. I no longer blame any symptom I have on Prozac withdrawal. Prozac is a distant memory now, and I'm so grateful I have ME back. Things that helped me: Magnesium Vit D Sun in the morning on retinas Digestive enzymes No sugar - you must be strict with this; it matters because the inflammation and blood sugar swings sugar causes stress out an already stressed-out central nervous system Spirituality Mediation - rewire your brain to relax, it works Avoidance of any pharmaceuticals Walking/running/exercise Socializing CBT/therapy - this is huge Sleep when I could get it Supplement tolerance was low for a long time. I could not take fish oil or many, many vitamins. I was unable to sleep for years. NAC helps me sleep now, and controlling blood sugar. I have learned so much from my experience, and I am still angry about what happened to my life because of Big Pharma. I do not go to Western/allopathic/conventional doctors; I only seek natural remedies and holistic/naturopathic/functional doctors. Depression is truly about dysfunction elsewhere in the body. Low T3 in the thyroid, cortisol issues (read: stress), nutritional deficiences, poor communication with others/not feeling fulfilled by goals/lack of goals that truly fill the soul, no exercise, SIBO/candida/digestive woes, wonky reproductive hormones, poor sleep, toxic humans you're around, bad job. Truth: Life will never be the same after you expose your brain to these toxic chemicals. In time, I do believe society will catch on to the dangers. Pills are a quick fix for temporary issues, which excellent nutrition, sun, exercise, and therapy can take care of in most cases. We trusted our doctors and got burned. I do believe in science and that the body is designed to heal itself and the brain has incredible neuroplasticity capabilities. This is why exercise and nutrition are so important. They do make a difference. I encourage everyone to read up on the actual science behind meditation. It's not quackery. It helped because it does change the brain for the better. People recover. I'm living proof. YET, life is not perfect. I struggle with fatigue and bad moods, but my life currently is pretty stressful, and I am dealing with thyroid and adrenal issues. This is life. To this day I still pray for those suffering from psych issues and psych drug withdrawal most evening. You are not alone. Keep the faith. I believe a power greater than me is more powerful than any drug, and there can be miracles. HUGS XOXO
  22. Hi all, I've lurked in the forum for a little while now but thought I'd finally introduce myself to give my bit to the community and hopefully track my progress too. I took citalopram 20mg for 6 months in the first half of 2018 to try to help with symptoms of generalised anxiety. I tapered (in what I now know to be a rather quick fashion) over about 10 weeks and hence have been antidepressant-free since August 2018, one year ago. Luckily, I never really suffered with many of the physical side-effects that many describe here, whilst on the drugs, tapering, and off the drugs. But the biggest thing for me by far has been the sense of blunted emotions, anhedonia and sexual dysfunction that has arisen. I noticed these increase gradually while I was on the meds, and then increase dramatically after coming off. Whilst on the meds and even tapering, my overall experience was mixed - whilst the dulled emotions and sex drive bothered me, my anxiety was definitely reduced and I did have more of a sense of resilience to difficulties. The problems really started once off the meds. I assumed that these side effects would go away once I was off, but they actually got significantly worse. Combined, they have really led to a real sense of having lost who I was. The loss of libido has been particularly upsetting, having had quite a high sex drive previously and sex having played an important part in my life. Almost as bad is the loss of enjoyment in music, which I simply don't experience in quite the same way any more. A phrase that resonated with me a little was that of listening to an orchestra, but with the strings and percussion missing. You hear the music, but it just doesn't quite seem full or right. Emotionally I feel less empathy and love which impacted my relationship. The anxiety has still been numbed, the one small positive. But everything is numb. With regards to my sex drive, it's not at 0%, and I do have windows where things seem better, but they feel so fleeting and hard to grasp onto. And often the more I chase these feelings (via porn, say) the further away they seem. Progress seems so painfully slow and there are definitely low periods where I feel like it's never going to recover. But there are times when I can be aroused somewhat by porn/sex and a few magical times where it seemed like everything was back to normal. Recreational drugs sometimes helped me feel something too, though clearly aren't any sort of long term solution. I have found forums like this a mixed blessing. There is an awful lot of negativity around, from people sadly in a very bad place, who have been suffering for 3/5/7/10 years etc who are convinced that this is permanent, they'll never recover, life isn't worth living etc. In my bad times it can be very easy to follow this line of thinking, look at the timescales involved and fall into despair. Nevertheless the forums have been an invaluable source of information and sometimes inspiration - I tend to try to focus on the success stories and positives rather than wallowing in the tough bits. I can completely understand why most people wouldn't want to hang around here when they feel as if they've recovered - they move on with their lives - and I'm convinced that there is a lot of unreported recovery. People don't stay in the hospital when they are better, as the saying goes. Also however painful and slow, it would just seem very surprising to me if anything like this was really permanent. Brains just don't work like that and they are capable of remarkable healing, given enough time. I've recently been in quite a bad wave, brought on to a large extent by difficulties in a relationship which has now sadly ended in quite a difficult and messy way. Though I feel numbed, the end of the relationship has clearly impacted me and in a sense I guess is manifesting itself in this complete anhedonia (rather than high anxiety, which it might have done pre-meds.) Though I feel horrifically numb and flat at the moment, it's all still a bit recent and I know that I need to give myself some time and a chance to heal from the break-up. Anyway - I'll try to pop back here to post any updates I have or answer any questions from fellow forum members. Variance
  23. I'm tappering off Cymbalta after starting it on december 2015. I didn't realize until it was too late, but while on cymbalta I lost the ability to feel, so i decided to quit I tought it coulnd't get worse, but now that I´m tappering I feeling even less, I guess that´s part of the withdrawal
  24. Hi All, I have permission from this guy to post this here, This chap took 4.5 years to feel fully recovered from what was TRULY a severe w/d, he is fine now. From Lossleader: Even I recovered in the end... I used to post here years ago - I don't know if there's anyone still around who would remember me, but basically I turned up at the start of 2006 at the beginning of an almighty sertraline withdrawal (which had already been going on for a few months) and then spent the next couple of years going through the wringer. I don't need to go into the details of this, as I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean, but I had a pretty horrific time of it... there were people here who'd had it worse than me, but I think I was probably in the top 5% in terms of how difficult I found it, and how long my symptoms lasted. A really, really horrible period of my life which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Whatever you're going through right now, there's a good chance I had it too, and for a very, very long time. Seriously... it was grim. Anyway, I'm just dropping back in for two reasons. Firstly, I sort of vanished from the site once I started to feel better and I wanted to come back and say thanks properly to the folks who helped me out at the time. So thanks - this place helped me out a lot. Secondly, I can remember that when I was going through withdrawal myself, it was always good to hear from people who'd had it really bad and recovered... so here I am. I still have depression, sure. I have moderate anxiety issues and a whole cornucopia of hang-ups which make my life less than totally wonderful. But I don't think there's a single major problem in my life right now which I can point to and say "that's lingering withdrawal, right there" - and that's been the case for several years now. Now... I've been off SSRIs for seven years, so that might not sound like much of a boast. But I was convinced I'd never recover. A year after stopping the pills, I would regularly find myself thrashing around on the floor screaming and howling; two years after that I was still in hell. I'm naturally a pretty pessimistic guy (like a lot of people with depression, I guess) and sometimes it was impossible to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I began thinking that the only reason I hadn't ended it all was that I didn't have the guts. And anyone who's been there will know that it's a pretty scary place to be, mentally. Years after coming off, I still had PSSD. For someone like me, who'd always been what we in Britain call a randy git (and this hadn't been affected at all by a high dose of SSRIs) that was a big problem. My sex drive was still strong... the problem was, my mind was writing cheques my body couldn't cash. Erections were unreliable - though not completely gone - but the worst thing was the horrific premature ejaculation. It was like being a teenage virgin again... I could get started, but then seconds later... oh dear. To the guys here who are having problems even getting that far, that may sound not so bad, but trust me - it really is. Orgasms were almost totally pleasureless, of course. This went on for years. Just when my confidence needed a boost, it got the biggest kicking imaginable... and life's greatest pleasure was gone. And while all this was going on, my life itself decided to go badly wrong. I haven't even got the time to list all the disasters and general "challenging" events from that period, but let's just say that even without the withdrawal it would have been a very difficult time indeed. As it was... I still don't know how I made it through. But I did. I hung on, and eventually I got better. I'm not religious, I'm not into meditation or anything like that, I don't believe in any kind of alternative medicine and I'm even slightly dubious about the benefits of therapy (at least for myself - I'm sure it works great for others). I'm not what you'd call a positive thinker. I don't have great willpower, either (currently giving up smoking, years too late, and it's an absolute nightmare!). I found a couple of doctors who were sympathetic, but none who had anything useful to say, let alone anything useful they could do. What I'm saying is, I went through one of the longest, hardest withdrawals and post-withdrawal periods I've ever heard of; I was totally unprepared for it, very badly suited to it, and unless you count the forum, I had nothing in my life to help me through. And somehow, I managed to beat it. What does this prove? Well, it proves one thing for a start: if a loser like me can do it, so can you. The recovery was slow and painful, but I became conscious of every little improvement as it happened. I got used to the pattern: something would get better for a while, then suddenly everything would swing right back and all that recovery would vanish. But I learnt the trick - once something had recovered temporarily, it was only a matter of time before it recovered permanently. It made no difference if it came back for a while... it had already revealed its weakness, and sooner or later it was going to be gone for good. That was true in every single case. I spent a while "pampering" myself, when things were really bad. If I was incapable of doing anything that day, I did nothing. Sure, I lost a lot of time I'll never get back... but what was the alternative? Then, when I had a good day, I'd grasp it with both hands and get as much done as I could - so when things got bad again I had some kind of achievement to point to, something to remind me that it wasn't always like this, and wasn't always going to be. The PSSD was probably the last thing to go. It can last a horribly long time, I'm afraid. But once it's gone, believe me - you're so glad to be fixed, the joy drowns out any bitterness! Again it was a slow process, with lots of gradual improvements followed by depressing relapses, but after a while it was obvious that things were starting to change... and they did. Eventually, everything fell back into place. I'm 40 now, and I have a well-functioning sex life which is more affected by the fact that I was a smoker until a fortnight ago than it is by anything to do with SSRIs. I lost four or five years of my sex life, which doesn't fill me with joy. But I got it back, and it feels good, and ultimately that's what matters. These days, I'm basically just a guy with moderate depression and anxiety... more or less what I was before I ever touched an antidepressant. Right back where I started, after going through a nightmare - that's pretty depressing, right? Well, not really. I coped with full-on nightmarish withdrawal, so now I find I can cope with depression. Things are a LOT easier than they were five or six years ago, and I made it through that - so making it through this is a piece of cake by comparison. No, I don't feel great every day. Yes, I feel a bit exhausted still by everything I went through. And yes, I can see little ways in which the whole experience damaged me: I certainly can't be the hard-living guy I was in my younger days, that's for sure. But I'm capable of enjoying things now, and looking to the future with a bit of hope again. It's all behind me now, that horror... and at last, everything's up to me. I'm not at the mercy of crazy bubbling brain chemistry with a life of its own any more. It's all up to me again - and that's the most important thing in the world. And all I have to say to anyone who's currently going through long-term, heavy withdrawal symptoms: just hang on. You don't have to do anything... just hang on. So long as you don't let it beat you, in the end this stuff will just melt away. It really will. There'll be a bit of mental "tidying up" to do afterwards, as though a hurricane has passed through your house. But you'll be so glad you survived, so glad to see the blue skies again, you won't care too much about that. If it ever seems like everything's hopeless... well, it's not. It's really not. Honestly, it's simple as that. Good luck to everyone. You'll get there in the end. __________________
  25. Hi, I’m new hear, I’m sorry if I have any gramatical errors, my native language isn’t English. I’m 18 years old female, I started sertraline at 14 and was been on and off sertraline (I used it total for about 2-3 years) I started when I was 14 and Stopped at 17. My last dose was about 4 months ago and I was on sertraline for 4 months (50 mg I think). I stopped because I learned about pssd. However I don’t think I tappered correctly. I didn’t knew how to. I’m now battling with pssd, a really severe depression, really severe derealization, brain fog, and I’m really suicidal. I don’t know what to do, I’m really really bad mentally and I’m desperate for help, for someone to bring hope to my life, but I don’t want to go with a psychiatrist, should I go with a therapist/ psychologist? I’m extremely depressed and derealized and can’t stop thinking about killing myself. (I’m not sure if I can talk about this here, but I really need help). I just want some hope about pssd, I’ve read here that pssd is just like any withdrawal symptom, it can take years to get better but it will improve and I really wish this happens, I also really wish to be myself again and not want desperately to die.
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