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Hello all. Thoughts and prayers with everyone. My signature is at the bottom. In January of 2020 got tinnitus in my right ear which sent me down a path of no sleep and anxiety. Put on ambien, lunesta, klonopin, and some other drugs and then put on remeron while tapering klonopin for sleep. I am 8 months post klonopin jump (around 0.042 mg) via homebrew taper (as well as I could measure). Still recovering from the klonopin and wanted to pursue tapering remeron. The max I have taken of remeron is 7.5 mg. I have been struggling with tapering and not sure if my symptoms are klonopin related or remeron or both. Most of my symptoms are head related (tingling, ringing, etc.) and some tingling and burning of the body and the incredible appetite. I have been trying to stabilize at my cut to 5.5 mg which was around a week ago and feel horrible. As most know the Challege with dry cutting with a scale is my pills all weigh differently and I try to weigh and maintain a constant dose and it is hard. I got my PCP to do a compound script, but the compounding pharmacy only does 10 mg / 1 ml formulations (the others I spoke with did not even reference formulations but referenced teaspoons) so I went with that. What I am trying to do is do a split to transition to the liquid. I.e., day 1... 4 mg pill + 1.5 ml (1.5 mg) liquid, etc. and spend about a week transitioning. I feel horrible all the time. My cns is damaged from the klonopin (when I came off it was terrible) and still do not feel very stable. I struggle with staying on the remeron longer to heal from the klonopin but have this feeling that I am not healing from that due to the remeron and want off all drugs. (Only remeron, allegra, and astepro nasal spray) Part of me wants to jump but very scared of that. I just feel like I am in acute w/d all the time...no windows and cannot figure out how to stabilize. Appreciate any feedback or guidance. Thanks, Seeking 8/20 .5 mg K 9/20 K to 0.25 mg 3x day C/T K 10/20 per Dr. .5 mg K on 10/20 Cut K to .113 mg 12/20 - .62mg 1/31/21 on .5 mg 2/8 - .25 night, .25 day 2/27 - .41 mg 3/7 - Held K & - tapered 3mg Lunesta for 4 weeks 4/4 - K resume - 5% cut/hold .39 mg 4/11 - Dry DMT .001g daily 5/8 - .28 mg - remeron for sleep 6/5 - .23 mg 6/6 - Held 7/10 - .19 mg 8/7 - .15 mg 9/4 - .12 mg 9/19 - .12 via milk titration 10/15 - 0.098 mg 11/4 - 0.080 mg 11/27 - 0.068 mg 12/4 - 0.062 mg 12/25 - 0.053 mg 1/6 - 0.050 mg 1/22 - 0.0425 mg 1/23 - JUMPED 4/15 - taper Remeron 10% 4/22 - 10% more 4/27 - to quick went back to 7.5 mg 5/2 - trying a 5% drop - 7.125 estimated mg 9/9 - Currently at 5.5 mg

Hi everyone thanks for having me. My story is a little complicated so I will try and explain it as best I can. I started the road to where I am now in 2016 after having a bad dose of Flu and pneumonia followed by a huge flare up of my Ulcerative colitis which caused my mental health to decline and I started having panic attacks and low mood. A trip to the Dr and I tried serteraline but it did not agree with me after a couple of pills so was switched over to Escitalopram 10mg and also told to use a quarter of a tablet of mirtazapine 3.75mg to help with sleep. After a few months I started to feel better and was told to come off the Escitalopram and Mirtazapine which was done with a quick taper if I remember. In 2017 I started to feel bad again with my mental health and was put back on Escitalopram again at 10mg and also mirtazapine at 3.75mg 1/4 tablet this again helped and after approx a year I was told to come off and again followed a quick ish taper. 2019 my Ulcerative colitis became very bad and high dose steroids failed to help so I had emergency surgery to remove my colon and an ileostomy done. This went ok although I was still taking steroids after the surgery and had been for about 2 years constantly. About 2 months after surgery my mental health once again decided to falter so again I was put back on Escitalopram starting at 5mg and increasing to 10mg after a month. Once again this seemed to help. I was taken off steroids (hydrocortisone) in Jan 2022 after seeing an endocrinologist who said my adrenals were ok. (I’m not convinced they were tbh). I also again tapered off the Escitalopram in April 2022 again this was done in quarter of a tablet increments from 10mg. July 2022 was off all head meds. Roll on to Nov 22 and I out of the Blue have a panic attack over a mark on my eyelid that’s been there for years and this keeps happening with waking feeling very anxious. I see the dr who tells me there’s nothing wrong with my eye and suggests starting the mirtazapine again at 1/4 tablet to help with the sleep issues. This did help with the sleep but not much for the anxiety so I was told to try half a tablet of mirtazapine this gave me really bad restless legs so I dropped back down to 1/4 tablet after only 2 days. Going back to the Dr I was told re-starting Escitalopram low dose might be helpful so on the 1st Jan 2023 I added 1/4 of a 5mg Escitalopram tablet approx 1.25mg. I did this for a week with no real noticeable difference and was then told to up this to 2.5mg which is where I am now after approx 3 weeks. At first it did seem to help it has stopped the panic and given me a small bit of my appetite back but my anxiety is in a bad way I’m waking with Anxiety, sweating and increased heart rate. I’m having quite bad suicidal and intrusive thoughts and I get the shakes in my legs often. I have lots of feelings of not being able to cope. I’m also very hypersensitive in my nerves according to the Dr. My reflexes are very sensitive and I’m finding myself thinking I might be hypersensitive but tbh I’m not sure. The Dr has referred me to a Neurologist for assessment. Being off the head meds is my goal but tbh I’m not sure where to go from here. Tbh I’m really struggling especially with the emotions. I have listed my current meds intake below. This is the 4th time starting the Escitalopram/Mirtazapine combo and I’m not sure starting was the best idea but it’s what the Dr advised. Since finding this site and reading into things I’m not sure if I might be having a reaction. My Dr agrees about being hypersensitive but thinks it might be the Anxiety rather than meds but I’m not so sure. I have just had a whole load of blood tests done by the Dr to rule out lots of things inc Thyroid, minerals, B12 etc which were all clear apart from Im pre diabetic in the lower range which I have been for a while. Escitalopram 1/4 tablet 2.5mg 8am 3 weeks at this dose Mirtazapine 1/4 tablet 3.75mg before bed 5 weeks at this dose loperamide one 2mg 4 times daily to control stoma before Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and before bed. Tesco Multivitamin once in the morning have been taking since stoma surgery in 2019. Salofalk suppository 1g twice weekly. O.R.S Hydration tablets in water for hydration.

I have been on Prozac for about 25 years. I tried to taper few times in the past, but it didn't work. So what can be different this time? I am hoping this board will make the difference. I know I can't do it alone. I am now taking 10 mg Prozac daily. I was on 40 mg about 2 years ago, and took it down very slowly, cutting 5 mg every few months. One reason that it took so long was because I was also tapering clonazepam. Another reason was the failed attempts in the past. What I learned from tapering clonazepam I hope to put into use while tapering Prozac. One lesson that I learned is that you need to do it slow. There is just no other way. Another lesson is that you need support. I am looking for my next cut in a few months and my goal is to be completely drug free by the end of the year. I have been on disability during the last couple of years while recovering from clonazepam withdrawal. It's been hell and I'm still not completely recovered. I am looking to get back to work as soon as I can but I know it could still take more time. The biggest challenge will be to deal with withdrawal and setbacks without going back on Prozac. My hope is that I will be able to do that with the help of this board.

It is possible to taper & wean. What I'm not sure about is whether it's possible to actually feel normal! Mirtazapine worked for depression & sleep for 15 years & then it didn't. A compounding pharmacy made me 3mg Mirtazapine capsules & I dropped 10% a month for ten months. I'm now planning on the same tapering timetable for Trazodone, 10% a month. My sleeps are still awful. I'm 72. I doubt I'll ever be able to wean Alprazolam. 86% relapse. Perhaps cognitive decline or even dementia. I don't blame my docs. It might have been easier to taper & wean earlier on but, then again, it might not. Frankly, I blame it on pharma...& on capitalism. Mirtazapine 30mg 2003-2022 Trazodone 50mg 2003-present Alprazolam 1mg 2019-present

Hi- Two weeks ago I quit taking 15 mg. of mirtazpine after being on it for 5 weeks to treat insomnia. Well, what a mistake taking that was! I now have my friend insomnia back but worse than ever and am anxious all day long (that was never a problem before). I know it's just my brain re-adjusting but how long will it take? I hate to take sleeping pills but have to every other day just to get a few hours of relief.

I am a 23 year old guy. I have been exploring this forum for the first time and it has renewed hope that I might one day be able to come of these drugs. In the past I’ve dealt with opioid addiction even coming off of buprenorphine (currently over a year clean), but Effexor withdrawal is especially nasty. I am currently on 75mg of Effexor and 30mg of Remeron. I have been on on them for about 3 years respectively. I haven’t yet attempted to taper off of either drug and have had enough issues in my life to deal with. They are not causing me any obvious issues, but I cannot stand being at the mercy of doctors just so that I can live a normal life. I had asked my doctor about how he’d approach the issue and his suggestion (over the course of a few months with significant decreases) seemed to me to be absolutely ludicrous given the experiences I’ve read online. I do not know what I’m looking for here honestly. Perhaps just some hope.

Dear Friends For those that do know me and have followed my progress through SA I want to say that since last December I am Mirtazapine Free... so a little bit of one more month and I will be one year free from this terrible drug. For those that do not know me… before reading this success story just have a look at my initial topic in the link below. Only then you will understand where I was, what I endured and how happy I am that this ordeal has somehow finished and I am able to live, love, work and be there for my family again. I consider myself blessed with the life I have had… ok I am not rich, but I am usually very friendly to people and when you give love you get it back as well. I have been normal all of my life, a bit on the overthinking type of guy which is a characteristic of smart people, and I know that most of the people in SA are the smartest of those who understand that medication is not a way to solve problems. So I am here as many others with a success story and I want to tell you that it can be done. The difference between how I was during medication and how I am now is like day and night. So during my life due to mental sensitivity I have had 1-2 situations which have put me down for short periods of time but they would always resolve and life would go on. But for the last time it was different, my wife was pregnant (my second kid), I acquired a property to start a small business for which I applied for a loan which was delaying, had (and still have ) a job which I did not like anymore, and I carelessly I found my self drinking 1-2 doubles of alcohol per night at least. People say alcohol has the same mechanism of acting on gaba receptors like the benzos, so soon I started finding myself ruminating even more the next day after alcohol. Sleep started deteriorating and I thought I could be ok if I used some small quantities of Xanax to sleep. I had used Xanax before on on and off basis and I knew that it was really addictive but anyway I did not think much and started with very small quantities of it 0.065Mg. As my system seems to have been kindled by the usage of it before I started to create an addiction into a matter of days, and I would find myself terrified during the work day of very simple situations. So to cut things short, during this time I visited more than 4 doctors who gave different solutions and all included medications in various quantities. The last doctor I went in gave me a combination of Amitriptyline and Bromazepam (a benzo) which went up to 6Mg but I never stabilized. I had a good day and then would get hit by 3 bad ones… and so on. After 2 months of visits every 2 weeks and being nowhere near a normal life I decided not to go to the doctor anymore and take my own life into my own hands. So due to what I was reading I did a fast taper of Bromazepam while taking 15Mg of Mirtazapine. Fast tapering of the benzo was terrible, anxiety and depression on unimaginable levels. I closed myself almost totally and was like a zombie in both at work at home… and the only good periods of the day were 1-2 hours at night when I could be available for my just born daughter. All the people around me would not believe that I was doing the right thing. I know it happens to most of you all the time. Just do not blame them. They do not understand what you are going through… but they still love you a lot. They just believe that going to a doctor and get medication is the best thing to do, which we know now it is not. Anyway I tried to continue to live…even though on my very bad days I would just go around a lake near by my home and think to end it all. I continued to read in internet during all these time, and I realized that I was not accepting my situation. If you read my main topic you will notice how terrified I was on specific days, due to the thoughts of not being able to make it. So at a point of time I started to accept my situation and that was good. I knew that I had no other way out of this apart from the conviction of my heart that I would wake up from this bad dream if I continue to follow my plan. After I finished with benzos than it was the Mirt turn. In the beginning I would just cut it by hand, and take approximate doses which now I know it was not good. I was still into the no acceptance phase. Any small problems would terrify me, any task would require out of this world trials from me to complete. At work I was a dumb, avoiding everybody, just closing up and not being able to discuss things due to my crazy emotions. My manager started to go against me and played a very negative role by fighting in many dishonest ways. On the other side I needed the job as I started paying the loan, and some more the new business that I started was a lot of extra stress for me as well. I also visited at this time two Psychotherapists and both of them were telling me that I would finish the tapering but I would be worse. They were also pushing me to listen to the psychiatrists and take the meds… which I was convinced was not an option. So I continued to live my life by learning to ride the waves. Pushing the time in the bad days until evenings when I started to experience windows. My symptoms were crazy since the start but they kept changing. I am trying to make a list below from what I remember. · Terrible anxiety. · Terrible rumination. · Tinnitus. · Out of this world Akathisia (I remember driving to work in the morning in a terrified state with hands that could not hold still at the wheel) · Lack of Sleep. · Flu state after each drop of Remeron. · Full Brain (not able to think at all or argue with people). · Inability to smell aromas (I was not able to feel my little daughter aroma when I would hold her up and that would bring me tears in my eyes) · Devastating Tiredness. · Anhedonia. · Many physical problems, allergy, loose stools, hair fall and so on. ….. and many many more which I can not remember now. The good thing would be that at some point of time they would come all together but at some other some them started to lessen and disappear very slowly. Every symptom that would go away would give me hope to stay the course even in the very bad days. I remember that after two months of no feeling taste or smell due to the antihistaminic mess of mirtazapine suddenly I noticed that when I would kiss my baby daughter would feel her nice baby smell. I had tear in the eyes and could not enjoy more the feeling… J So that moment gave me hope even I would know that after some days that symptom would reappear again. Every wave would set me back. I would start to act normal and than suddenly out of nowhere I would experience 2-3 nights of no sleep, terrible anxiety in the morning, stuffed up brain in the afternoon and so on. I kept some contacts with some members of SA as well as some other friends from a FB group. Their messages were the ones who kept me going. Push push push until the wave goes away, and certainly that goes away. I still experience waves now here and there once in a month but they normally last 1-2 days and are mild compared to the ones during WD. Life is good my friends… Now I know what’s going inside me and the thoughts do not scare me any more. How I learned to understand that my problem was mainly biological and medically induced was simple. I would notice one day that a simple problem would drive me crazy and anxious, and it would look like the end of the world. I would try to calm down and if I had a good sleep the next day the same problem would not scare me any more… So in this way I learned that the problem was not the cause of my rumination but the WD was the culprit. Living without meds started slowly to give me back my lost confidence, I started talking to people again, get involved, not being scared of planning things for the next day bcs I did not know how I would wake up. I know, I know…. Most of you have been there and still are…. And I swear it is just WD playing tricks on you. So do not give up guys… my problems started early 2016 and the last 2.5 years have been the most terrible in my life, but still when I look back I have realized quite a lot during these two years. How can I not be proud while during this period I was able to: · Preserve my integrity. · Hold my job. · Handle the birth of my little daughter (My wife was the actual one who gave birth but I was always there). · Start a new business and have only 2 off days per month. · Continue to payback my loan. · Keep my family together. · Helping other people while in WD. · Having fun and having waves… 🙂 · ……. · ……. · ……. Above all writing this success story… 🙂 So that is a short sum up of my situation. There is a lesson in Withdrawal… just do not give up. Even on your worst moments pull up the strength and push forward. Anxious …??? Take a walk, listen to an hypnosis video, watch a movie, just avoid going to the drawer looking for meds for a short cut solution. Currently I am only taking a soluble magnesium before sleep and a vitamin B and Omega 3 fish oil in the breakfast…. Nothing else. OK my life is not the best that it can be, i still have problems, i still get sad, i still get worried for things but now things do not blow out of proportion. I still do not know how would i do if hit the jacpot... 🙂 but even if i don't, never mind i will do my best with what i have. The blessing of God with two lovely children, a good family and life is the best someone can ask from. I would like to thank from my heart Altostrata, Shep, karenB, AliG, Brassmonkey, Hibari, JanCarol and all the other people in the forum that I might not recall now who have commented into my topic and kept me convinced that this was the true way. I am sooo much indebted to you guys. Anyway I will be around in the forum to help people time after time and I know I can not explain everything that happened to me during this time. If you read my topic and than this success story you will definitely know the difference. You can also ask on certain issues and I will gladly answer to each of you same as the people that I thanked above have done for me. To all the guys who are tapering you are doing right. You have nothing wrong with your brain. It just needs the time to adopt to a life without stimulants. YOU WILL ALL MAKE IT FREE SAME AS ME GUYS…. Just stay the course…. LOVE YOU ALL SANTINO

Hi Everyone! Found this site when looking for research on tapering off my medications, the history should show in my signature if I've updated it correctly (hopefully). I was put on Mirtazapine around 10ish years ago after suffering unacceptable side effects of Fluoxetine. It's served me well keeping my relatively stable through the years at varying doses. In 2020, I burnt out in work and ended up being put on Wellbutrin alongside the Mirtazapine. I tried to come off the Mirtazapine a few years back, circa 2018 (from 15mg), I had initially split the tablets to 7.5mg for I believe a month or so, I don't recall any overly negative effects. Slightly more erratic mood but nothing that was unmanageable. I then started skipping doses to reduce the average (big no no! I didn't realise at the time how bad that was), I did speak to the doctor as my mood was becoming unmanageable and the doctor then moved me to compounded medication (the soluble versions aren't available where I live). Even moving to the compounded meds I had weeks where I was okay but still teeter tottering, I believe I had gotten down to 5mg per day but I think I dropped from 7.5mg - 5mg. My mood always seemed worse when I was 3/4 the way through the monthly bottle, from reading on these forums it sounds like it was losing its potency. After a rather horrible work trip where I was away from home and my support network the anxiety and weepiness were out of hand, I panicked and thought I was relapsing so called my Dr and ended up back on the Mirtazapine at 15mg. When I started the Wellbutrin 150mg XR I was on 30mg of Mirtazapine but early 2021 (Jan/Feb) we upped the Wellbutrin to 300mg and dropped the Mirtazapine to 15mg (May) as I was tired all the time. I'm aiming to taper off both medications but I'm not sure which to start with, I was planning on the Mirtazapine due to the length of time I've been on it as I figure will need to be slow. But not sure if the Wellbutrin alone will cause crazy anxiety as I've noticed I've had more general anxiety recently. I've ordered some Ora-plus so I can compound it at home on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. Not sure whether I should start the 10% decrease from 15mg or if I should try to drop to 7.5mg and taper from there. Based on my calculations decreasing by 10% per month I'm looking at 1.5-2years, this seems like an extremely long time. Thoughts? What dose have people jumped from on the Mirtazapine? I ideally want to be completely med free in about 2 years as my partner and I want to start a family but I don't want to be on meds or have to transition to Fluoxetine as I really hated it. I could absolutely keep writing and talking away to myself but i'll leave it there for now. Great to virtually meet you all!

Dear forum members I write here for the first time and welcome you all warmly! I come from the land of chocolate, mountains and pharmaceutical giants...., Switzerland! The doctors are also here very happy, to prescribe psychotropic drugs for every little problem...! I took 7 years ago, in January - March 2014 for the first time in my life psychotropic drugs(Benzodiazepine / Temesta), receved from my doctor against a burnout and the associated insomnia. Already after three months my life was out of control. I experienced hell on earth with this drug and went through withdrawal in May / June 2014 in a clinic. During the withdrawal, I died in my mind about 1000 times. It was and still is the most horrible time of my life. Due to the extreme withdrawal symptoms, I was given an antidepressant (mirtazapine 30 mg) after completely stopping the benzodiazepine. Terrible symptoms showed up with this medication as well, so I very slowly reduced it again since 2014 and stopped it completely four months ago. With each smallest reduction of Mirtazapine, I experienced weeks and sometimes months of waves with the worst withdrawal symptoms, so that it took me a total of almost 7 years to finally get to 0 mg. I am very proud of this result and yet even today, 4 months and 10 days after 0 I still experience bad, recurring waves with the following symptoms: - Severe headaches and abdominal pain - Massive nausea - Strong abdominal and chest pressure with shortness of breath - Total inner tension and nervousness - Intermittent insomnia - Total hopelessness and fear of not being able to heal anymore I had a window of almost 10 days until 4 days ago and already thought I was cured. Unfortunately, after these beautiful days, I once again tried to do moderate sports (cycling / golf), which again triggered a surge of symptoms. Sport seems to trigger the symptoms again and again. The aftermath of this episode is horrible. I am once again caught in a wave that has triggered the previously mentioned symptoms. At the moment I again feel like I can't survive the whole thing. - Do any of you have any tips for me on how to better survive the particular waves of symptoms? - Can anyone explain to me why exercise / sport triggers the symptoms so strongly? - Can these symptoms ever go away? I am in desperate need of help and would greatly appreciate any answers from you guys!!! Thank you very much in advance for your kind words and I wish you all the strength, the hope, the courage and the perseverence to successfully get off the medication. Warm regards to all of you Goodluck PS: My english is not that good, so I used the help of a translator programm. Hope you can understand the sense / meaning.

Hi guys, Have had a lot of problems with tapering of mirtazapine. Finally got my head around fact that I need to do it slowly. But unsure as to what is a stable dose? Was on 7.5mg then went to 5.75 which did not work out. So went back to 7.5 and don't feel any better on that dose. Do I stick it out at 7.5 or perhaps go higher to 10 or 15mg. Any suggestions?

Hi all, I have a 16 year history on SSRI/SNRI (see signature) as well as a few years on Mirtazapine and one year on Bupropion. The two latter I quit fairly easy without any tapering worth mentioning. I'm also a medical doctor. I've read this forum now and it's been very helpful. The main reason I'm now registering is I'd like to contribute to the Escitalopram tapering thread, where there seems to be a quite well established misconception about the water solubility of the drug (I don't seem to be able to repy there yet though). Escitalopram is, as the post states, "sparingly soluble" in water (and "soluble" in saline water). Sparingly soluble by definition means that it takes 30-100 ml of water to fully dissolve 1 g of a chemical (such as a drug). (I'll still to 100 ml instead of 30 - 100 ml for simplicity, and 100 ml is at the less solvable end of the spectrum) 1 g is 1000 mg. So, with 100 ml of water you can dissolve ONE HUNDRED 10 mg pills of Escitalopram (as the salt Escitalopram oxalate). To dissolve one 10 mg pill, you need only 1 ml of water. I suspect most people will use much more water than this, as 1. there is no reason to work with such a small amount of water and 2. people seem to think you need lots of water. So, let's say that you use 10 ml or more instead of the necessary 1 ml. Now, there is NO reason whatsoever to increase solubility by adding sodium chloride (i e, making a saline solution), worrying about decreased solubility in refrigerator temperatures, etc. Note, there is stuff in the pills that does not dissolve, but the active drug does, easily. On the term "sparingly soluble": from a required 30-100 ml of water to dissolve 1 g of Escitalopram follows that in 100 ml water the amount of solvable Escitalopram is 1 - 3.3333333... g. Compare this to table salt (sodium chloride) which I believe you can dissolve 36 g of in 100 ml of water. Hence, it is easy to understand why "sparingly" is appropriate.

Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.

Hi, this site was recommended to me and I'm very grateful to have found a place where people might understand what I'm going through. My story with antidepressants starts 10 years ago, but I've only really had problems with them within the past year. In 2017, I was switched from fluoxetine to citalopram. The citalopram worked for me, and I was quickly upped to a dose of 30mg, which I happily stayed on for 4 years. This takes us to November(ish) 2021. In November I was really struggling with my anxiety, and physical symptoms which were new to me. I had lots of tests done to rule out any physical illness, and nothing abnormal came up so I was just really confused about what was happening. Everyone kept saying it was anxiety but I couldn't really believe it, because the symptoms were so strong and I'd been dealing with anxiety my whole life and it had never presented like this. My doctor suggested that I increase my citalopram to the maximum dose of 40mg. I'd never been on the maximum dose as I'd always been warned off it because I am underweight, but I did it anyway. I tapered up to 40 by January and stayed on it for about 6 weeks. It didn't help whatsoever - in fact I just felt worse, because I had some side effects from the increase that I'd never experienced previously. Skin crawling, tingling and numbness on my left side, etc. It was horrible so I decided to reduce back down to 30mg. I'd achieved this by late February. At this point, my mental and physical health has been feeling awful for about 4 months. I wasn't able to work, socialise, or do anything at all really. I'd developed extreme health anxiety from having all these new symptoms which I was convinced could be a serious medical condition, and I had now started to develop constant nausea (my worst symptom, as an emetophobe). At this point my doctor started to talk about me switching medications altogether. I was open to it, because in 2017 I'd made the switch from one SSRI to another and it went so smoothly that I just thought this would be the same. She suggested Sertraline, so I started to taper down the citalopram in preparation for that. I got down to 20mg by May and it was really difficult. The nausea, foggy headedness and tingling symptoms were constant. But, looking back, in mid May when I'd settled on 20mg I actually felt a bit better for the first time in a while. I was able to do slightly more and felt less sick every day. I think a wise decision at this point may have been to stay on 20mg and just allow my body to calm down and give myself the chance to have a life again. BUT back in April, I'd had my first appointment with a psychiatrist. After telling him everything, he suggested a medication I hadn't really thought about, Mirtazapine. He told me that when I came off citalopram completely, I should start 15mg of mirtazapine then work up to 30. I sort of took this as a better idea than sertraline, I'm not sure why really...I think because I knew that mirtazapine increased appetite, and I wanted desperately to gain weight because anxiety always takes my appetite away. So I ditched the idea of sertraline (which my doctor seemed fine with after hearing the psychiatrists new recommendation) and continued to taper down further. I got to 15mg by the start of June, and tried to drop again to 10mg. Things were just getting awful, I felt I was worse than I was in May, and I couldn't see myself being able to get all the way to 0 without just having no life anymore and becoming a shell of a person. At this point my doctor prescribes me 7.5mg of mirtazapine to take alongside 15mg citalopram, as a sort of crossover, so that I could continue to taper down citalopram but have the mirtazapine to make me feel a bit better. I took the mirtazapine for a total of 5 days - it made me very sleepy, very groggy in the mornings, and very emotional. I did in some ways feel mentally better - my overthinking definitely reduced and I was finally hungry again which was amazing. But when I told the doctor that I'd been very groggy and tired and had felt very off kilter, she told me to stop the mirtazapine immediately and just stick to 15mg citalopram for a while. This brings us to now. I'm at a loss - I stopped the mirtazpine last week (which has given me withdrawal symptoms too, even though I was only on it for 5 days - headaches, pulsatile tinnitus, worse brain zaps and tingling) and now I'm just sitting with being on 15mg of citalopram, half of what I've been on for 4 years and feeling pretty hopeless. The worst part of all this is the physical symptoms which just disrupt everything. After reading on here and on reddit, I think I'd describe them as brain zaps - a sort of constant tingling in my head which makes me nauseous and makes me feel like my head is fuzzy. I also feel sick at the thought of doing anything - its so hard to describe, but I literally cant picture myself doing anything without feeling spaced out and nauseous. I feel like I am just not on the same plane of existence as anybody else - my head is spaced out, I can't enjoy anything, I feel like crying, my thoughts are quite literally racing and my body is just messed up by all these medication changes. I feel such regret for ever trying to withdraw from citalopram in the first place, especially when I was in a bad place to begin with. I can't imagine how to get out of this hole that I've dug for myself. After reading about medication tapering online I realise I've done it at the wrong time, and far far too quickly, and I'm living with the consequences now. As for trying to settle the symptoms, I've of course tried lots of different supplements with limited success. In fact, since stopping mirtazapine, I'd say supplements make it worse. A few days ago I took a vitamin B supplement and the next day my head was pounding and I had pulsatile tinnitus, and last night I tried a magnesium supplement and today my head is pounding again. I'm very lucky that my family is able to look after me during all this, but they are constantly telling me to 'get out and do things', which I think is their reaction to the idea that all of this is just anxiety, and nothing actually physical. Its so hard to get people to understand that it feels like my body and brain are falling apart, and that withdrawing from my medication (something I chose to do which was meant to lead me on the road to recovery) has made things so so much worse, mentally and also physically. I hope that this will be the lowest point for me and that things will improve, but I have no idea. And I don't even know whether my next step will be more withdrawal, or reinstating the citalopram, or just staying at the dose I'm at. But I'm pretty scared for any of those directions because I've just bounced from one bad experience to another, and somehow I'm scared that it could get even worse.

Hi all. I’m writing on behalf of my husband. Bit of background: 2003 was put on Prozac for 3 months- no adverse reaction and subsequently various doses of venlafaxine which he successfully came off of with no issues. 2013 was switched from Venlafaxine to sertraline. Had ‘activation syndrome’ (extreme anxiety) for 8 weeks (always thought it was him) but went away once body used to drug. August 2021 had been on 25mg for years and thought he would taper over 2 months, successfully came off no issues or problems. january 2022- I was having a C section and he was a bit worried, nothing extreme though, just normal worry and decided to reinstate the Sertraline. Within days, ‘activation syndrome’ was back. He stayed on for 5 weeks and then doctor said ‘come off as you weren’t anxious or depressed to start with’ symptoms of withdrawal started but manageable. He thought after 6 weeks that it wasn’t withdrawal as nhs website said it should have gone after 2 weeks! March 2022- started mirtazapine at 15mg going up to 30mg. Fine for 3 weeks, but then developed activation syndrome and quickly came off. GP advised to go back on to sertraline at a bigger dose- ended up in a and e, so agitated! 3 weeks later, he thought that the mirtazapine might be less activating at a smaller dose, so went back on at 15mg… alas, 3 weeks later, activation syndrome is back! june 5th came off and has been battling severe anxiety, but generally, every other day! I am aware of windows and waves but don’t understand this. One day he’s perfect and the next can’t leave the house! He also started propanalol in June which we feel makes it worse as apparently it blocks seritonin to a degree, but makes anxiety a lot worse if he reduces (or maybe he did too big a jump). NHS have left us to it, no help! Have a private appointment on Monday. Questions are: If he is getting windows this early on, is it a good sign?! The only symptom he has is extreme anxiety/agitation which seems more a reaction to lack of seritonin, thus firing out tons of cortisol? Could he go on a low dose of Prozac to see if that helps? Prozac is the only antidepressant he doesn’t think caused activation syndrome?! is there any experiences with propanalol making matters worse? I think there is a slight improvement in the anxiety but considering it’s only been out of his system for 6 weeks I expect takes a lot longer to build new pathways etc/level out. Thanks for reading. Just want my husband back, it’s destroying me and him!

Hello, I was put on remeron 1.5 months ago after being hospitalized for severe benzo withdrawal. I have been off benzos for 9 months after a rapid taper. My symptoms are horrific and 24/7. - Racing thoughts/ruminations - Ear-worms (things I watch/read and conversations repeat over and over all day long) - Racing negative thoughts - Intrusive thoughts/memories - Loud inner critic/voice - Sensorimotor Hyperawareness OCD (thinking/thoughts and occasionally other themes) The remeron seemed to help with the pacing akatheisa and terror but did nothing else for my mental symptoms. I started at 7.5 for a week or so and then went up to 15mg. At 15 I got his with depression. Went up to 22.5 for a few days but couldn't handle the anxiety and fear it triggered so went down to 15mg. I don't want to be on remeron anymore because It's interfering with my benzo recovery but my mind is tormenting me on how to come off of it. I don't know much about tapering and what would be the best thing for me since I'm already in benzo withdrawal. I think its making the OCD worse (compulsive researching, chain smoking). The problem is i'm not going to know if I am having new symptoms from discontinuing the remeron or if it was masking some of the benzo withdrawal and it's coming back. Unless i develop new symptoms like DP/DR (which i don't have). I am looking for advice on a taper. I know my situation is different but any help would be appreciated. Thanks

Hello all, Thank you Altostrata and all affiliates for creating this wonderful forum for us all to cope and survive the hellish nightmare of what is modern medicine. I finally am feeling more at ease with my struggles knowing that whoever is here in this virtual sanctuary is in the thick of it as well, if not, reached the end of their journey victorious. I plan to try and give as much as I can, as this process will be a two way street. Anyways, here is my situation. I never took any type of medication except when I was diagnosed with ADHD in college. I had been on Adderall 10-20mg PRN, mostly for social-heavy days. I was in a 7+ year relationship that ended, and started on Buspar 7.5mg in 2020. I've been on it since. After the relationship ended, I have felt my anxiety has become worse, specifically in social situations. Was on Zoloft for about 8 months (8/2020-4/2021), 25mg, but caused some unfortunate side effects. Had no problem whatsoever weaning off of it. December of 2021, I was prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5 nightly for sleep, as I was still having trouble sleeping due to night shift. This was the biggest mistake I've ever made. A couple missed doses gave me severe, realistic nightmares with heavy panic attacks. I didn't know what it was coming from, but have now determined it may be the Remeron. As much research as I had done, I thought I was ok with it and willing to try it. However, this medicine is poison to my body, and have learned I am not the only one. Somewhere along the line, around May, I realized that I wasn't taking half the pill (7.5mg), but rather the whole pill (15mg). I now am highly anxious all the time, almost to the point where I can't even speak and have a normal conversation. I constantly worry about every social interaction I have, and tend to avoid them if at all possible. If I go out to drink with friends, it's heavy. I smoke marijuana on occasion to help relieve the anxiety. I am not myself at all, and it is affecting my social and work lives. I mostly fear of it affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. I travel for work, so my psychiatric care has been fragmented and interrupted. The PCP I have now has no idea how to manage these meds, and the psych referral was declined because I'll be moving to another city in November. Something I have wondered is if my ADHD is where my anxiety stems from. Being scatterbrained and having poor short term memory is very frustrating. I am curious if starting a stimulant again is what will help me focus and not feel so socially anxious. I tried Strattera for a couple months, but still had some unpleasurable side effects. Also, I had never been depressed, per se, but this mirtazapine withdrawal has made depression a very dark and real thing in my life. I am here to gain as much insight as I can to overcome the most massive obstacle I've ever faced. Remeron has exacerbated every insecurity I've ever had to a nonfunctional level, and I am looking for support from those who understand. It is not something that is easy to talk about, nor easy to understand if you haven't been through it. But already reading through a fair share of posts here is very comforting and reassuring that this too will pass, and I will come out as strong as ever. On the up, I am going to start tapering next week by 10% as recommended. You can see below what my tapering process has been like. I just want this hell to be out of my life, and to be me again. Very much looking forward to conversing with you all, and I appreciate any optimism that you may bring forward! Vinny

Hi all. My name is Paul. 36 years old. Been on psych meds since I was 16. Have just recently come to accept that these medications are truly poison. I'm now in the process of healing from a Mirtazipine taper. Been completely off for 16 days. This is hard. Not as hard as when my psych CT me off of Seroquel last summer and I ended up in the hospital, but the emotional Rollercoaster and histamine intolerance I've formed is just insane. I can't wait to see what life is like without meds. I've been on them since I was 16, truly feel like I wasted a lot of my life on these things. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself, getting away from social media like fb and twitter (another form of poison) but wanted to join a community to help me cope with what I'm dealing with. Thanks for having me.

Hi, I am in crisis right now and desparate for help. I tapered off effexor 1 year ago and have had no psychiatric meds since. The past year has been rough with prolonged withdrawal and bouts of anxiety along with way, but for the past 3 months I have been doing very well (working a stressful job and handling it well, traveling, etc). For the past week, seemingly out of the blue, I am having severe, debilitating anxiety and insomnia. I also have odd physical senstations that I haven't experienced in quite this way before (odd nagging nausea-not the anxiety kind, but the flu kind; extreme muscle pain; periodic cramping of my hands and feet; a buzzing or tingling sensation in my arms and legs; weakness. I saw my doctor, who ran blood tests- everything is normal. I saw her before the anxiety started- at first, I just had the flu-like symptoms, then the anxiety hit. I don't know what to do....I am going to have to resign from my job (a well-established, successful career of 9 years). I aleady took a leave for 1 month 6 months ago when I was having a bout of bad withdrawal. I feel desperate for relief, and am so desperate that I would even go on meds again (although I swore they were the worst thing I ever did to myself and that I would never touch them again). Is there any chance this is still a delayed withdrawal? Please if anyone can offer me advice, I really need help right now. Thank-you.

Hiya everyone i was diagnosed with emotional unstable personality disorder back in 2011 and was put on quietipine and venlafaxine and they were slowly increased over the years. These medications completely changed who i was as a person i found i lost myself and they simply shut off all my emotions and feelings and i lived like a zombie who did nothing buy sleep for hours of a day and then sleep all night so i decided to come off them, i wanted to live again to feel again and to find who i am againd and now im currently 6 months into stopping all my meds. I was on 225 mg of venlafaxine and 200mg of quietipine . I have a feeling i have tampered too quickly but the thing is i really dont want to go back onto the medication. I started to tamper in july 2021 from both medications. i reduced by a bead on the venlafaxine every time i felt stable after a reduction. with the quietipine i used a pill cutter and reduced that way making a reduction everytime i felt stable. I did suffer withdrawal symptoms such as brain zaps, nausea, shakes, headaches, feeling anxious and hot and cold sweats. Fast forward to now and all them symptoms have gone away all except one the anxiety. Im frightened of everything even things i cant control I wake up every morning with tightness in my chest, im getting palpitations in my heart daily, i have this knot in my stomach that flips and does summer saults over the smallest things. I have ordered herbal tablets from holland and barrets such as ashwagandha and rhodiola as research shows that these seem to help. I really dont want to have to go back on the medication and reinstate as it makes me really angry, depressed, shuts off all my emotions and makes me like a zombie I feel like im scrambling for help as i dont like feeling scared, i feel like ive gone back to being a child in an unsafe situation and i can't take back the control Is there anything else i can do/take to get this under control .

2017 started 15mg mirtazapine 10/2021 increased to 30mg mirtazapine 9/2022 going to attempt starting my taper at 27mg mirtazapine Mirtazapine doesn't seem to do anything for me anymore. Initially I had it prescribed after a period of daily panic attacks for about 2 weeks which I had stopped with Xanax then used mirtazapine for long term stabilization. It was very effective at helping me sleep initially at 15mg. About a year ago constant panic attacks started again and my baseline anxiety was high, after trying various medications to calm down, I settled on upping my mirtazapine to 30mg and using hydroxyzine as needed. In the past I also used propranolol to reduce anxiety symptoms but I have quit using this medication after a few years. My baseline anxiety is still fairly high and I sometimes get panic attacks when doing certain things that have been repeated strong triggers for me. Therefore I have decided to stop using mirtazapine with the hopes of my emotions not being so dull anymore and to be able to lose weight finally as I have gained at least 15 pounds with it. I have had a lot of success with dealing with my anxiety through therapy and alternative methods and stopping any peaks with hydroxyzine which sometimes I don't take for months.

Hello, I’ve been taking 15mg of remeron since August 2020, two years now. I recently wanted to taper so decided to do a micro taper with a scale of 5%. I cut and held that for almost 4 weeks. I was starting to have a lot of intrusive thoughts and broken sleep so I went back up to my full dose of 15mg 4 days ago. I am experiencing a lot of anxiety more so than before. Is this from increasing? Will it level out?

Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.

Hi - I'm still in the state of shock that I have to join a psychotropic w/d forum for help, because I knew about the dangers of these drugs. Thank you so much for this community. I experienced an intense bout of stress with work earlier this year. I wasn't sleeping. So my doctor gave me 7.5 mirtazapine to take on an as needed basis for sleep. I took it 2-3 times a week from March until mid July. Looking back now, I realize that I may have been experiencing w/d symptoms in between doses. But I was convinced by the "its just an antihistamine at that dose" BS that I now know is not true. I'm no stranger to psych med withdrawal. When I was a teenager, I was put on Ambien and had to come off that, and later benzos, for which I did a slow taper. That was in 2010. Fast forward to 2022 at the age of 30 and I'm being run over by psych drugs again. The symptoms I'm currently dealing with: No sleep (3-4 hours a night max), intense surges of anxiety - like the fight or flight system is in disarray, head pressure, emotional feelings that rotate between windows and feelings of despair, burning feel on my arms..like my nervous system is on fire. The truly worst is the insomnia. If I was sleeping 6+ hours a night I might be able to deal with the rest. I know this is an unpredictable path. Words of encouragement would be great. Especially if anybody has mirtazapine stories.

Its been 10 days since I took my last antidepressant and I'm having a rough ride. I've been on one or another since 2010, however even before that I would be on and off one SSRI or another. About a year ago I saw my 7th psychiatrist in 5 years, they keep leaving, and he put me on mitazapine and venlaflaxine. I spent the last 6 months coming off mitazapine and then cut from 150mg venlaflaxine to 75mg then jumped off 10 days ago. I do have some experience of withdrawal from morphine and diazepam and I have always suffered bad side effects when starting a new antidepressant as well as withdrawals. My mental health nurse says I am very sensitive to drug changes. I actually think I'm not, I'm just quite self aware. Currently I'm struggling most with last of good sleep, I seem to be able to go to sleep but my fit bit is telling me I'm barely touching deep sleep, so exhausted all the time. I have terrible stomach issues anyway but the nausea is making eating impossible. I note my insatiable urge for chocolate and sweets is gone. Replaced with wanting a nice home cooked meal yet I haven't the energy to make a drink. I'm extremely emotional, crying at the drop of a hat. I feel pretty hopeless at the moment. I have a retreat booked for the end of August. They use psilocybin but also yoga, meditation, breathwork etc I am hoping I am at least feeling physically better by then as I have to get myself to Portugal. The brain zaps I was getting were unbelievable. I've had them before but nothing on this level. And they weren't just my brain, these were whole body zaps. Bought on by movement or sound. It felt like every nerve in my body was having a fit. Waking from a deep sleep. It was stopping me do everything but the first few days were the worst. Then I think they have become less severe and to a certain extent I've got used to it. Definitely still something going on. I live alone so can all be a bit lonely. No one to discuss things with and it would be nice to have someone to help with walking the dog, walking feels like I'm under water it's just so much effort.

Hello I have been on Anti Depressants since 2016. The only one that made any difference for a few months was Duloxetine 50mg. That stopped working for both depression and anxiety so I discontinued it back in 2019. I was ok for a couple of months but then started feeling anxious again, and the GP reintroduced it. Fast forward to 2021 and a bad dose of Long COVID, and I had to stop the Duloxetine as it was giving me heart disregulation. I then tried Escitalapram for a few weeks but was unable to tolerate it, so the GP prescribed me Mirtazapine. This was put up to 30mg in March 2022, then I developed severe anxiety and discontinued, having a cross taper to Duloxetine again. Whilst cross-tapering, I discovered that the combination of Duloxetine and Mirtazapine seemed to stop my anxiety and so the GP has prescribed this combo. I am only in week 1, but some days I feel fine, and then like today, all I want to do is crash out. I have no job at the moment and feel pretty hopeless. After reading the report in today's news regarding the lack of evidence for the Serotonin hypothesis, I feel like just binning the whole lot of antidepressants, and using diazepam to withdraw off the lot. However, every time I come off antidepressants, I feel like my symptoms rebound. I am starting to feel like a chemistry play set, and don't want to feel this way. I am 47, wife a family.