Search the Community

I was originally prescribed Mirtazapine (30mg)for my intense anxiety and insomnia after have COVID in August of 2021. Have had little to no side effect (weight gain). Unfortunately when I started to feel better I was told by my Dr to cut my 30mg tablet in half for 3-5 days and then stop. Each time my anxiety and insomnia returned so severely my Dr told me to start taking it again. I have tried a 10% taper from 30mg for 11 days now. Two days ago the insomnia reappeared but not the anxiety. So my Dr now wants to switch me to Cymbalta. I don’t want to take any of these awful meds any longer. Should I go back up to 30mg? Or push through the insomnia at 22.5? Thank-you for this amazing resource!

Hi, I'm purplehummingbird, PHB for short My journey with psych drugs started 20 years ago when I was 17. I was experiencing emotional difficulties stemming from a traumatic childhood and subsequent recreational drug taking from the age of 15. My doc prescribed me fluoxetine. I took one that night, felt like a zombie the next day and so threw the rest away. I wish that had been my only brush with psych drugs, but 9 years later, still experiencing the emotional difficulties and still recreational drug taking, I went back to the doc who put me on 50mg Citalopram. I took it for four months, decided it wasn't helping and then tried to stop. Queue 11 years of unrecognised withdrawal, misdiagnoses, medical gaslighting, more drugging, repeated attempts to stop and finally poly drugging. Currently taking 7.5mg of Citalopram and 11.25mg of Mirtazapine. I quit recreational drugs in 2013 and last year I quit nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. I am so relieved to have found this incredible site and to finally realise what's been happening all along. That I was never 'mentally ill' (whatever that means), that I never 'needed' to take psychiatric medication and that it was the drugs themselves causing all the problems. I'm looking for (and hoping to give) support, guidance, connection, help and encouragement and to explore the deeper lessons in all of this as I finally taper off these drugs for good. I am intrigued by the non drug coping tools, as my toolbox is pretty bare, and I hope that I can use this opportunity to create healthy habits that can last me throughout my journey to freedom and beyond. PHB x

Hi, Not sure now is the right time to post as I am still navigating the forum and reading lots of hopeful (and scary) stories, trying to process it all. I have had a rocky relationship with citalopram. Started in 2013 when I was prescribed it for depression. Was quickly bumped up to 50mg. Started having muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders as well as fits of shaky eyeballs. Decided to come off and followed GP's taper advice (obvs far too quick). Suffered severe dizziness which I instinctively knew was due to the ADs. GP said, no it was not the drugs, it was anxiety. I had never been dizzy with anxiety before so I knew he was wrong. I then had a delayed withdrawal reaction (which I didn't know at the time - thought my 'depression and anxiety' had returned) and became very unbalanced, distressed, suicidal ideation etc and had to temporarily move back home with my parents for a few weeks before seeing the CMHT and being put BACK on citalopram 30mg by a mental health nurse. He told me I just had a chemical imbalance in my brain (ha! I wonder why..) Stayed on that from Sep 2014 - Nov 2017 when I tried a slower taper (a few months rather than a few weeks as before) and again noticed the dizziness but it wasn't as bad so thought I could push through. I also was smoking cannabis everyday in an attempt to self medicate. By March 2017 I had diarrhea, nausea, racing intrusive thoughts, waking early with panic, crying, hopelessness, agitation etc and was near to being hospitalised on a couple of occasions. I could not work for 5 months and again had to move home with my parents to look after me because I was unable to look after myself. I had thoughts of self harm and every day was torment. I soon realised that smoking cannabis could be making things worse so I stopped that after a couple of months. However, I still was completely unaware that I was going through withdrawal and so in desperation was put BACK on citalopram in March 2017 on which I stayed until July 2021. I was also given 15mg mirtazapine to help with sleep and appetite since I had lost so much weight from the diarrhea and nausea of the citalopram withdrawal. Fast forward to today - I tapered down the citalopram over 6 months starting from Jan 2021 and finishing in July 2021, after reading Joseph Glenmullen's 'Coming Off Antidepressants'. It was only after reading this book that I connected the dots and realised my episodes in 2014 and 2017 were AD withdrawal and not a relapse of depression or anxiety. As soon as I finished tapering citalopram to 0 I waited two weeks and then began tapering mirtazapine, getting to 0 by end of Nov 2021. However, by day 5, after recognising I was experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms again (diarrhea, nausea, sleep problems, crying, panicky, racing intrusive thoughts etc) I reinstated it first to 3.5mg for two weeks, and then after a scary day where I thought I needed hospitalisation, panicked and reinstated to 15mg. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had stayed at 3.5mg. I have also realised that I should have waited a while longer to stabilise after coming off of the citalopram before starting to taper mirtazapine, I had been ignoring the warnings my body had been sending me since the summer. After coming across this site, I realise that both attempts at tapering were far too fast and too steep. I am probably still in citalopram withdrawal having only tapered for 6 months and stopping in July 2021. Since reinstating mirtazapine my symptoms have eased but I am still experiencing daily crying, sadness, regret, grief, negative thoughts and waking with morning dread. I want to be off these drugs but I want to do it safely and slowly. I think I will review how I am at the end of March 2022 and then if I'm feeling much better, start a very slow, perhaps 5% taper of mirtazapine. I was using a pill cutter before but that's no good for tiny reductions necessary so will look into some digital scales or learn how to create a liquid. Thank you for this site, you are all incredible and inspiring. I got scared at first realising how long and painful this journey could still be but the success stories and supportive conversations are keeping me going. I hope I have not come off and on ADs too many times already or messed with the mirtazapine dose too much to cause kindling or extra sensitivities...

I'm 30 years old, and only now coming to understand my mental health and some of the bad habits I've had in the past. For me, I've had really only two periods of mental health challenge. I think it’s worth saying, that my life is average in a good way, no trauma from childhood or family issues. The first mental health challenge when I was around 21. I had to work away, after a few weeks I started struggling. My symptoms were physical more than mental. I would constantly feel nauseous, and had trouble eating and sleeping. At this time I didn't have the tools / knowledge to recognise that I was undergoing something more than simply dealing with stress. I would vomit most days, losing around 2 stone. Sleep became very troublesome and I would try to manage with coffee which only made things worse. This period lasted around 6 months, and only eased off when the I stopped working away from home. Throughout this time I didn’t engage in any therapy, self help or medication. I didn’t recognise it at the time, but I believe talking to a GP (doctor) would have helped immensely. Since then, life continued to be average in a good way for 9 years. I got married to the the girl I've been with since I was 18, we moved into our family home, and travelled some of the world. I regained the weight I lost, and eating and sleeping habits were normal. Then, last year, our first child was born. In the lead up to her arriving, I didn’t experience any level of stress that I felt in the first period of challenge. However, 2 weeks after she arrived, I began to feel those same physical symptoms. This time I spoke with a GP and began down a route of Self guided CBT, some talk therapy and eventually some private therapy. During this time, the lowest point was going around 4 days without any proper sleep, and we called an emergency mental health NHS helpline to come out and assess me, as I was having intrusive thoughts, which is not something I’m used to! Again, I was feeling physically sick, this is my main debilitating symptom. This is the one symptom that I have real trouble with. Speaking with the GP, we first tried Sertraline. I really hated the side effects, brain zaps, intrusive thoughts. I still now can’t decide if this was my own rejection of starting an anti-depressant or the actual side effect, but I could not continue. However, I eventually came to the decision I needed to try the medical intervention. This is when the GP suggested I try mirtazapine. I started on 15mg, and within 10 days, my body was calm for the first time in 6 months. My appetite slowly came back, and I began to put on the weight that I’d lost. In the first days, I had some of the side effects listed; a slight twitch in one eye that lasted for a day or two, and drowsiness on a morning. I’ve now been taking 30mg of Mirt for around 6 months. Other than some morning drowsiness, I didn't experience any other symptoms, so I came to decision to reduce my dose with the aim of stopping. I moved down from 30mg to 15mg on Saturday 28th May 2022. On Sunday evening, I began feeling nauseous. We have some big life events (first family holiday) in the next two weeks. I took the decision after 2 days of feeling sick that maybe I had tapered too fast? I spoke with the GP who said the symptoms appearing so quickly after the change mean they are linked with the drop. I've now re-instated at 30mg, but still feeling nauseous. This symptom continues to be the most overwhelming issue. I have to work really hard on breathing, and focusing on eating. I've joined this forum for some support, I'm very new to medical intervention and I haven't really got anyone around me who understands the challenges it presents. I think my aim is to stablise on 30mg. Engage in a slower taper in the future, maybe with the support of therapist or similar? Hope this hasn't been too much information!

Hi, I've been on Amitriptyline for sleep issues for almost 11 years. Started low dose 10mg and worked up to 75mg over the years. Last four years I have been very sick with muscle tentions/pain and chest tightness, making it almost impossible to breath. I was told that my stress/anxitety was the cause, and belived the gp about that. After a bloodtest came back with the result of me having hyperkalemia, I found out that amitriptyline could be the cause of this. I then startet a too fast taper in december. It went okay down to 50mg. But as I got lower, I was having more and more diffeculties with sleep. Last week I have only slept for 2-3 hours most nights. I have tried to reinstate twice, from 36mg-37mg-now40mg. Should I try to reinstate more at this point? Or hold for a while? Not sleeping being the worst symtom, but also high heartrate and my ears are like I'm in an areoplane. My heart is starting to beat really fast every night around 5-6 hours after taking Amitriptyline. And after that I have heart/chestpain. By the way I discovered that most og my musclepain and chest tightness got a lot better as I was decreasing the Ami. My muscles makes twiching noises all the time both in my chest and back, and I can breath normally again.

Greetings. I have been taking Brintellix ( 10 Mg ) and Mirtazapeine ( 15Mg ) for about a year. After a slow start they started ( seeming ) to work well about 3-4 months in and the result ( after a serious episode of clinical depression / anxiety with frequent, planned suicidal ideation) was that I've been feeling clear headed, calm and able to focus on work and live a full life as a family man with a demanding career. During the depression I'd seriously considered that my career would not be possible and made plans ( when I wasn't thinking about ending my life ) to work in a less demanding occupation. So once bedded in, the medication, or possibly other factors like good diet, yoga and excercise, seems to have really helped. Overall I'd say I've been feeling less anxious than at any point in my adult life ( I'm now 50 ) and not experiencing any adverse side effects from the drugs, bar a slight reduction in my sex drive- but only slight. I sometimes also find that afetr I've taken the Mirtazapeine in the evening I can't stay up for long, for example if I've watching a movie. I have 2 concerns A ) I don't really like allopathic medications and was very resistant to taking anything. I have treated myself and my family successfully with natural medicines for my whole life, not even taking headache pills or antibiotics. This seemed like an emergency and my family were very keen for me to try prescribed medications. My feelings at the time were, well even if I live a few years less, that's probably better than suicide and the pain that would cause my family + friends. So I got on board with the 2 medications. B ) I'm concerned that at some point one or both of the drugs will " Crap Out " anyway and I'll hit a wall. I've had a lot of therapy since starting the medication and deepened my spiritual practice and feel that I've much better equipped to handle depression if it hits me again. I'm wondering if I can get some advice on which order to start tapering / withdrawing, and what I might expect from the process? I'm not taking any other medications, and I don't drink alcohol or take any recreational drugs. I'm sleeping well right now. I'm a naturally anxious / neurotic person and have lived with this all my life, so I have strategies for coping with those feelings / sensations if they creep back. After starting to experimentally taper - I tried dropping the mirtazapiene by 25% and then 50%- the anxiety has definitely ramped up in quite sudden waves and I'm sure I'm not approaching things in a sensible way- so am considering taking the dose back up to 75% of prescribed 15Mg ( so 3/4 of a 15 Mg pill ) and taking a more steady approach from advice on this website. I'm seeing that 10% taper in a month is more normal- but had tried 25% and 50% purely because I have a demanding life and making liquids etc seemed like another thing too many- but I'm seeing that it may be the only sensible way forward. Thanks in advance.

Link to Introduction topic: ☼-squiggle Hello, I have waited a long time to post this message, to be precise, one year, as I wanted to be sure before I wrote. I had previously had a thread in the main forum, under the name Squiggle. I posted there about my three failed attempts to get off Mirtazapine, the last one being in 2014. I note that Altostrata asks for a link to be made to that previous topic but I am a technological idiot and have no idea how to do this - so please forgive that. So bruised was I by the third attempt, that I waited over a year before once again trying to begin to come off. Indeed, I never really again termed it fully coming off, merely trying to get as low as possible whilst staying well. During that year, I gradually reduced until I was taking c. 0.1 - 0.2 mg (it's hard to be precise at that level) in a gelatine capsule each night. I had some rough patches but nothing too bad. One problem about waiting so long to report is that it is hard to remember the details! I remembered the saying attributed to Samuel Beckett, "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." So how did I do it in the end? Very, very slowly - it took me from Feb 2016 to July 2017 to come fully off that tiny dose. I took all the advice that I had read about over the years from here, CITA and many other places and did it in a way that felt right to me. I had read a lot about how the brain works and in particular fear reactions and concluded that for me, a big problem was not so much the withdrawal per se but that its effect, disrupted sleep, made my fear reaction kick in and this is what was my biggest issue. I therefore needed to deal better with my fear so I constructed a programme, loosely based on the CITA withdrawal timetable (but over a much longer period) where I gradually replaced my nightly dose with a "placebo". I slowly increased the frequency of the placebo doses and extended the gap between doses. I increased the gap roughly every two months but was never rigid about the timetable - this time, I let my brain and body guide me. What was the placebo? It was a little ground up Magnesium Citrate (which I took at 250 mg per night anyway for menopausal issues) in a gelatine capsule. Understand that I made these "placebos" myself and knew very well that they were fake. Whether they really helped or not I don't know but I carried on taking them until about a month ago just in case. I know that dose dropping is not recommended here but remember that this was from a microscopically small dose. Also, what I wanted to do was to precipitate gradually a degree of withdrawal symptoms so that I could practise dealing with them, knowing that the following night I could take a dose. It worked for me. What I actually found as the process progressed was that I noticed that on the nights I took a real dose, I slept very heavily and felt slow, sluggish and horrible the following day. When I took the placebo, my sleep was shorter and maybe lighter but more refreshing. I grew to hate the way I felt when I took a dose and this made it easier to finally give up. I also made changes in my life. I took up regular mindfulness meditation and became a serious practitioner of yoga. These both helped enormously. Anyway, there it is. I am now one year off and in that year have done much, including recently qualifying as a yoga teacher. I have menopausal sleep issues which I believe were covered by the Mirtazapine but using yoga and meditation techniques I manage these effectively. I still take 250 mg Magnesium Citrate a night. I have no other symptoms and am well and happy. I'd like to finish by saying that I know the road can seem endless but do not lose heart if you try to come off and it doesn't work. Every attempt is a learning experience and you can take from it and try again and eventually, as I did, you will get there. Listen to your body and brain - I am sure that whilst we can learn a lot from each other, in the end, your path is yours alone and your experience will be different from anyone else's. Trust and value yourself. I wish all of you the very best for your healing. It is possible - never doubt it.

Hello all, i had found this site on google before and have some questions. I took 15 mg Mirtazapine 6 months and stopped 5 months ago, now i'm in big trouble. After stopping i slowly started losing my emotions and feelings but now i'm complete dead inside, it feels like my soul has gone, there is only silence in me, no matter what i'm doing i can't enjoy things anymore because i'm not connected to it in any way like emotions, thinking about it etc.. and it's almost impossible to sleep, because i simply don't feel anything and don't even know when i'm tired, when i read my name or see some old pictures of myself, i don't feel connected to it in any way, same thing if i look in the mirror, it simply is like there is nothing inside me anymore. I don't have panic attacks or feel sad, i can't say how i'm feeling because feelings are no longer there. If i remember some things i can't get some emotions or feel deep about something that was very important to me, i lost interest in everything that i loved, its hard to concentrate without feeling anything, or know what todo, what is important or not, what is right or wrong..... it's also almost imposible for me to go out or visit some friends, but i know that i'm in reality and never had hallucinations, some time after stopping mirtazapine i was manic My question now is what could this be? Is it permanent braindamage or is it some sort of DP? I had DR before but i had feelings and panic attacks, now i simply don't feel anything. I had depression for years but this for sure is no depression anymore. Please let me know anyone what i can do about this because im very suicidal the last time, but i don't want to give up and die in this condition, i had many plans for my life, i can't belive all that could happen to me and i don't wish such condition to anyone, well maybe to the doc only that gave me that pills... Regards, helpless.

Hi there just wondering if you could advise me. I had taken Mirtazapine 15mg for 3 months. On gp advice I halved for two days and then stopped completely on 5th feb 22. Withdrawal symptoms started on the 8th - feeling unwell, tired, reduced appetite and diarrhoea. I currently have no appetite and have lost weight and diarrhoea and nausea - some anxiety but mostly about withdrawal and not being able to work! I have read lots on this site and see that it’s best to reinstate then taper. I currently only have 15mg tablets and am awaiting delivery of cutter and scales in a few days time. I could probably cut tabs into rough quarters now but tricky as they are oblong shaped and not sure if 3.75 would be right dose to reinstate with or should be lower. am going to try to obtain liquid but not sure when this might be possible. Worried about leaving it much longer. any advice greatly received, thank you

Hello everyone, I have been reading many posts regarding Remeron/ Mirtazapine in the last few weeks. I found the information very helpful. I wish I had found this site earlier... I started taking 4mg of Ativan and 30mg of Remeron in February of 2014. In May 2014, I reduced Ativan from 4 to 3mg overnight. Was unaware of proper tapering technique, felt terrible side effects from 25% reduction. After becoming familiar with the Ashton manual, started a crossover taper 3mg Ativan to 30mg Valium in August 2014. Completed a slow taper on May 19 2016. Benzo free as of today, but still on 30mg of Remeron. I believe I am currently feeling strong side effects from the Remeron. I started feeling this way a few days after stopping the Valium. I am feeling dizziness like “walking on moving ship”, headaches, nausea, concentration problems, upset stomach. I find it difficult to function in this condition. I thought I had accomplished the hard work when I finished my benzo taper. I began reading about the Remeron on Surviving Antidepressants. I was really surprised by what I read: “When you remove the Benzo, the AD’s adverse effects come to the forefront.” and “ Mirt likely to be stimulating and might be uncomfortable without the Benzo.” The recommendations on which drug to taper first goes against what you would find in the Ashton Manual or a site like Benzo Buddies. “Benzo withdrawal before Antidepressant withdrawal increases the risk of a difficult antidepressant withdrawal.” All these ideas are news for me. I have read many comments on the forum which reflect the symptoms I have been feeling from the Remeron. I believe I need to taper the Remeron. I am questioning wether I can taper Remeron successfully in my present condition or in order to do this properly would I need to reinstate a low dose of Valium, possibly 2mg. I should add that where I am currently living I do not have access to liquid remeron or special pharmacies. I will need to create my own liquid mirt by using the Remeron Soltab 30mg. From reading the recommendations, 10% cut every 4 weeks is the way to go. A first cut would be by 3mg to 27 mg. Had a doctor (that helped me with my Benzo taper) suggest a Remeron taper by taking : 30 mg 1st night then 15mg 2nd night, back to 30mg 3rd night, then down to 15mg on 4th night, and so on for 3 weeks. If ok then stay at 15mg. Sounds risky to me… I am trying to figure out the best way forward. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks Karlos

Hello Im new here. Thank you for taking time to read this if you are. :) I have been on Mirt for only 12 days at 15 mg. Im looking to come off due to side effects, its just not suited for me. I was going to do 11.25 for 4 days, 7.5 for 4 days, 3.75 for 4 days, then off. Is that too quickly? I thought not since I have only been on it for 12 days at 15 mg. I appreciate everyones input and advice! :)

So in September this year I started fluoxetine 20mgpd with little to no side effects. After a couple of months on that I started having trouble sleeping (waking up too early) and my depression started coming back so my doctor put me additionally on mirtazapine (15mgpd). I thought it worked great, I've been consistently sleeping for 10+h every night and I've never been this rested before. Then last night my partner told me when I took my mirtazapine that it's made me behave differently in a negative way, essentially just generally not having been as nice to her as I was before starting the mirtazapine. I had never noticed this and it's a bit scary to me since the last thing I want is for her to be hurt in any of this. So this all made me think of discontinuing the antidepressants and seeing what would happen but I've seen examples of people stopping their meds and feeling like utter crap because of it, so kind of wanted to ask for advise regarding this. Can mirtazapine affect me in this way, and would it be safe for me to quit my meds? I'm initially thinking of stopping fluoxetine since a withdrawal symptom could be sleeplessness and mirtazapine helps with that, and then stop both of them. Thanks in advance :3

Hello, I am new to this forum. I am married with two wonderful adult daughters. I have attempted titration twice previous and experienced two episodes of discontinuation syndrome. As terrifying and hellish as the withdrawal was I am determined to remain positive as I desire and to be off my medication. So much so when my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said a miracle. I want to be free from all medication. The only psychiatrist I can find to write tapering scripts told me I was "N of one." Meaning he had NEVER had anyone experience withdrawal. I am no longer giving energy to the flaws in the medical community but rather seeking to heal. My last crash I was almost there. I was down to .7mg of Lexapro. I believe the effect of potentiating supplements such as 5HTP, Skullcap, Passionflower and the CBD oil my psychiatrist recommended contributed to interfere with my successful completion of titration. I was on a higher dose of Lexapro on the days I used a sleep patch due to potentiating of the ingredients and the CBD oil and when I did not use the supplements, I was lower. I am sad about starting all over again. I grieve all the work I did, yet I tell myself I am courageous and strong. I have been stable, albeit with side effects of sedation, tinnitus, and dizziness for over a month. I began titrating of the Lexapro and I am now at 4mg of Lexapro from a dose of 5mg. I am staying with the 15mg of Remeron at night. I am titrating down 10% for the next month starting tomorrow. I am considering staying stable at that dose of Lexapro and shifting to titrate of the Remeron which I have only taken for a month due to significant side effects! My thought is to go down 10% on the Remeron every 30 days? Thoughts? Keep the Lexapro at the 3.8mg dose until 30 days after I made it completely off the Remeron. After I am a month or two stable off the Remeron start with 10% titration down on the Lexapro every 30 days. I am trying to find all information on how to create my own compounding liquid. I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist at the end of January, I spend my time trying to educate him on the realities of antidepressant discontinuation. I also want all knowledge to be armed to help myself. I do not know any of you, yet, I pray all people coping with the challenges of getting off antidepressants are healed and supported in this universe. May we all be well. May we all feel peace. Deb 20 years Pamelor 20mg 2017 began titration / 2019 off Pamelor 2017 due to discontinuation syndrome -Lexapro 5mg added 2019 Began titration Lexapro 2021 Lexapro .7mg discontinuation syndrome 2021 Lexapro 10/5/21 5mg 2021 Remeron 15mg 10/11/21 2021 Lexapro 11/15/21 4mg Lexapro; 15 mg Remeron

I’ve been off mirtazapine for two and a half weeks now. Despite barely eating, I haven’t been able to lose anything. I gained 60 pounds on this medication and I’m now very obese. I’m very concerned and upset that I’ll never be able to lose weight and get healthy again from this year I spent tapering a drug I was on for one month.

Hello -- I'm so glad to have found this site. I really need help. I was prescribed 7.5 mg Remeron about a year ago (I think February 2020) due to health anxiety. Before being prescribed this drug, I had never had any sleep issues whatsoever. The Remeron was great for my anxiety for awhile (I think I was on it about 7 months), but then I began to notice that, when taking handwritten notes in interviews with clients (I'm an attorney), I was frequently skipping over letters (e.g. would write "cient" instead of "client" and then immediately notice and go back and add in the letter) -- this was something I'd never noticed happening before. I also didn't like the feeling I had when waking up in the morning -- for the first few minutes, I felt like I was still asleep, but I also 100% knew that I was awake. It was very disconcerting -- felt like I was losing my mind -- and I knew I wanted to get off the medication. My psychiatrist said, "no problem, you're at a super low dose, just quit." I did that and immediately could not sleep a wink and had no appetite at all. I suffered through that for a few weeks, but it was simply intolerable by that time and not getting better. I found a Remeron FB group that suggested reinstating. So, I reinstated at about 2.5 mg in, I guess, September 2020? and that helped reduce the initial intolerable withdrawal symptoms a lot. But then I started having awful GI symptoms. I went to a gastroenterologist after weeks of that and was told I needed a colonoscopy. The results of the colonoscopy were normal, and my symptoms finally subsided. As that was going on, I was slowly reducing my dose via a liquid preparation my pharmacy prepares for me. I stayed at 2.5 for September, then 2 for October, then 1.05 for November, then down by .15 mg per week for December (.9 first week, .75 second week, .6 third week, .45 fourth week, .3 fifth week) so that I was at .15 mg (1 mg of liquid) at the start of January 2021. I also started on buspirone (5 mg 3 times a day) to help deal with my anxiety in November, a drug which seems to be more benign than many other alternatives. I stayed at .15 on the Remeron (an amount so small that I could barely taste it!) until 3 days ago, when it felt absolutely ridiculous to continue, so I stopped. To be honest, my sleep kept getting worse and worse throughout November and December -- I would wake up several times a night -- but each time I'd be able to fall back asleep pretty easily, so it was tolerable. Then, the day I completely stopped taking the .15 mg, I couldn't sleep more than an hour. I was tired and fell asleep at the regular time, then woke up with a racing heart an hour later. The rest of the night I got no sleep at all. The next day, I decided to take the .15 mg again, which maybe helped a little, but I also took 2 benadryl, so it might have been that that was helping -- at any rate, I slept for 3 hours that night. Yesterday, I took the .15 mg again and also took .5 mg of melatonin. I got 3.5 hours of sleep, woke up at 2 am, took another .25 mg of melatonin, and slept fitfully the rest of the night (waking up on the hour but eventually falling back asleep again, such that I may have gotten another segmented 2.5 hours of sleep). With my health anxiety, I'm really worried that I've permanently ruined my ability to sleep normally, or, in particularly dark moments, I start worrying that some other cognitive degeneration is happening (I'm only 39!), because it doesn't seem possible that such a small amount of Remeron could be having such extreme effects. My psychiatrist (a different one now than the one who originally prescribed Remeron) said he's been practicing for 45 years and never seen anyone have trouble coming off of Remeron. He's trying to prescribe me a benzo to help me sleep and I really don't want to go there. Any advice??? I don't know if I should go back to a higher dose of Remeron again, and if so, what dose, or if I should stay off and rely on Melatonin to get whatever sleep I can until sleep gets back to normal (if ever???) I would be so appreciative of any advice.

Brief history: Prior to 2018 I was a healthy, happy, highly productive professional (31 then, 34 now). In March of that year, had a medical procedure that went wrong and got anxiety and panic attacks. Given ativan which proved impossible to get off of quickly only two weeks later. Hospitalized and put on remeron 22.5mg. Tapered slowly off Ativan over 2 years, ending in June 2020. Decided to start tapering mirt in August of 2020 using a liquid microtaper as I did for ativan. Dropped fairly quickly from 22.5->7.5 mg over 5 months. Then started final descent from 7.5mg on January 25 and hit somewhat disabling withdrawal symptoms on April 18th. My withdrawal symptoms through the taper generally are malaise, head pressure, brain fog, fatigue, allergy symptoms, etc. that wax and wane in intensity with some good days scattered among mostly crappy days (for three years... feels the same as ativan withdrawal). Despite the speed, I actually started to feel better the lower that I got up until recently. My mind has been somewhat clearer, personality coming back, memory improving. Part of the reason I have been going so quickly is that I was eager to be off by July when I will be starting a new intense job and also I have had pretty bad dry eyes and dry mouth on this drug as a side effect even before tapering. Even during the taper from 7.5 I felt pretty okay until April 18 when I think I was exposed to a lot of pollen and other allergens. That is when things started to unravel. Intensification of all my withdrawal symptoms plus congestion, dizziness, etc. So I held my dose hoping it would resolve. Then on March 30, I started to have pretty bad insomnia which has been up and down since then. Often not falling asleep until 5 am with some nights where I sleep generally okay. With the insomnia has also come bad physical anxiety and now somewhat depressed and despairing. I updosed to 2mg on maybe 5/10, but didn't write it down so I don't remember the exact date. At this point I am really struggling and considering a further updose and would like some advice about how much to updose if I do so, and at what pace. Should I titrate up or just reinstate a dose? Seems like titrating up would be safer, but I don't see that talked about much here so unsure of the experience. Any advice from those experienced with this would be helpful. I am nearing my wits end and feel like I have no hope for recovery. Thank you, Steve

Hello: I am here after a person on another forum (BenzoBuddies) alerted me to the existence of this one when I queried if anyone there had experience with tapering/eliminating Aripiprazole (Abilify). I am currently working on titrating down from the Clonazepam I have been taking. I have hopes of eliminating all the medications listed in my signature, in time. Once I have eliminated the Clonazepam, I would next like to work on the aripiprazole, then the Mirtazapine. I have only very occasionally used the alprazolam. So, I do not see that as a real hurdle. There is an erroneous date listed in my signature. It should be 2012. If someone could guide me in editing it, I would sure appreciate it. It was kind of a mystery just to create it. I hope to find some useful information and encouragement here. I did a big drop of the Clonazepam (50%) on September 19, as instructed by my doctor. Withdrawal symptoms were uncomfortable, but not terrible. Days 1-3 met me with needing a bit more time falling asleep. Days 15-21 met me with some irritability, headache (most days), one night of insomnia, a few days of mild depression and some free-floating anxiety. Day 22 and onward, the aforementioned symptoms were gone and I was feeling better than what was my normal self. I am glad for this. After reading a lot of information (Professor Ashton's manual & on the BenzoBuddies forum), I decided to continue with reducing the Clonazepam at a rate of 25% every 14 days. Yes, I know it is more than recommended (5-10%), but I believe I am capable of proceeding at this rate and take comfort in the fact that I can always adjust my dosing, if needed. My dose tonight will be ~.4700. When I began taking the medications (in 2001), I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (without psychotic symptoms). I did spend some time in a psychiatric hospital (~3.5 weeks), during which time several different medications were tried/thrown at me. I don't remember all of them (prozac & paxil, are two that were tried...). I did not take any but the Clonazepam longer than a few days/weeks. Oh, except lamictal. I took that for about 6 months (in 2001). Almost forgot about that one. A couple other antidepressants were tried just before I began taking the Mirtazapine in 2010: Effexor, Celexa and Trazadone. They all made me feel loopy, so I rejected them. Sleep is what I needed and the Mirtazapine helped to deliver that. The Abilify was a depression add-on which did seem to give me an overall improved affect/mood. Since 2001, I have remained steadfastly committed to and deeply engaged in an in-depth therapeutic relationship (with a couple practitioners). As a result, I have achieved a complete psychological, emotional and spiritual make-over. Over the course of the past couple years, I have questioned if I really have a need to continue taking the medications, for I simply am not the same person I was 17 years, 10 years, 5 years or even 1 year ago. It is my deep hope and desire that I will eliminate the medications. It will be very nice to see who I am today, without the medications. That's my history, in a nutshell. Cleerity

I’ve always been an anxious person. However when my mum was getting diagnosed with lung cancer I hit an all time low April 2019. I had resisted antidepressants for years but felt maybe that was the time I needed to take them to try and help me cope with my mums diagnosis and what was to be a horrible journey leading to her death in August 2020. I tried citalopram first which didn’t go well, I ended up in A&E several times. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, was Suicidal. It truly was the worst time of my life. Finally saw a psychiatrist after two weeks of no doctor being able to help me and drugging me up to the eyeballs with diazepam, zopiclone amongst other things. The citalopram was the problem and I was swapped to mirtazapine. Things got better and I managed to cope and support my mum until she passed. Mirtazapine numbed me, made my relationships with my 4 year old and partner difficult as I felt enraging anger everyday. I gained 3 stone and felt like a zombie most of the time. I decided mirtazapine was no longer helping me, it was making my life grieving and living more difficult so I decided to start tapering. I think I started around January 2020. 7 weeks to drop from 30mg - 15mg 4-8 weeks at 15mg 7 weeks to drop to 7.5mg 4 - 8 weeks at 7.5mg Then kept missing doses till I got to 0mg over about two weeks. After 3-4 days of taking 0mg of Mirtazapine I started to feel exhausted ill and my stomach felt terrible. With increasing levels of nausea and spells of anxiety and crying. I then caught COVID-19 and so for 10 days isolated feeling very ill. Nausea and anxiety increased and now at 4 weeks I’m not coping at all. I feel so sick I’m barely eating and dry heaving. Trouble sleeping although I am getting at least 5 hours a night. I’m so anxious, thoughts of my mum dying, cancer, feeling so nauseous. I’m feeling suicidal as I can’t cope any longer. First of all is this truely withdrawal and how long will this last? do I need to be on another antidepressant for the rest of my life?!?!

Hello. I've heard many good things about this site. I'm finding Remeron to be a tricky little devil. I tapered from 7.5 down to 5.0 mg too quick...like 3 weeks! I thought I could sail off it like I did Valium and Trazadone, but not so. I'm taking a break for a week or two so I can stabilize. I generally stabilize rather quickly, but this one took more time. I have friends who are suffering from protracted w/d after decent tapers from Remeron, so I'd like to avoid the same. Has anyone crossed from Remeron to Prozac since the latter has a longer half-life and might be easier to taper from?? I haven't found any equivalency tables, so I'm not sure how to exchange them properly. I'd like to know how to do that. If it's recommended that I taper the Remeron, is there a file where I can find helpful tips to do it safely? Thank you in advance!!!

Hi Everyone, Background: Was prescribed Trazodone 15 months ago for insomnia. Never worked but the Dr stacked Seroquel, than replace with Mirtazapine, then added Gabapentin. I was also prescribed Lexapro but I had the sense to say enough is enough! Not only did none of this work but it has destroyed my life. Made me a mess. My wife of 30+ years told me on two occasions she misses the man she married. Unbelievable really what I am putting her through. She does not deserve this. My life was great and was in great shape. I worked hard and was highly responsible my whole life and in a matter of weeks my security and marriage were ruined. Now I am a physical and emotional wreck with little ability to dig out of the mess I am now in. It all seems like a bad dream. Doing what I can (which is not much other than get off meds and try to improve my health). Hoping for a miracle to make this right for my family. I got off everything with the exception of the Trazodone. Currently tapering off 50MG Trazodone. I am using a digital scale. I began my taper 8 weeks ago and am now down to 28 mg. I am looking to slow down the taper so I can be more comfortable and reduce the WD symptoms. I am using a digital scale. The approach I have been using is to reduce by approximately 1/3 of a mg a day with some pauses in between when symptoms increased. The alternative approach is to cut and hold for a period of time. Are there any opinions on which approach is easier on the body? I would think daily microdose cuts are easier as long as you factor in a pause every once in awhile I am new to this and am looking to maximize taper speed and minimize WD symptoms. Anyone with experience or insight to share?

Hello, I am in a partially similar situation like Haven once was. I started having sleeping problems in march, at the end of this months I just slept one hour a day. I was prescribed tradozone and alprazolam, after which I only had a very shallow sleep, I did not even felt I had slept, just time had passed fast. After that I was given escitalopram, which made me not to sleep 5 days. Tradozone and escitalopram made me extremly anxious. I stopped using them and took nothing, but unfortunatelly only for two days. Now I am on Mirtazapine 15 mg, taking it for 12 days, before 7,5 mg for 13 days. This makes me sleep about 4,5 - 6 hours. What would you recommend? I had probably tried too much in a short time, a big mistake was taking the first pill of tradozone, but the doctor did not warn me what the risks are and I could imagine it could only me my situation worse. Should I stabilise on Mirtazapine and slowly taper down for a year? How long would the stabilization last? I dont sleep much even with this drug, what if it stops working in two month like it did to Haven the first time he was taking it?

LLiz's introduction topic is here: ☼-lliz-still-not-able-to-jump-off-mirtazapine An update: Ok, it's hard to say whether I am completely symptom-free yet. I have had several other major and long-lasting health problems this last year which have caused pain, disability, sleep disturbances, and fatigue. One of the harder adjustments has been continuing again with technical learning and studying. But this has been influenced by my trouble believing that I can actually think and remember again after some of the extreme difficulties I had during my withdrawal. The fair amount of interrupted sleep and disability due to my other health issues hasn't helped. And the withdrawal lasted so long that I have needed to do a lot of reviewing to get up to speed again, which seemed like cognitive dysfunction at first to my low-confidence feelings, but wasn't really. One thing is definitely true: I don't think of myself as being in withdrawal anymore. All the best to the many of you who are struggling so much yet!

Community of healing, hello. my name is dave. in february of 2012, things started going terribly wrong. i have always been a person with some anxiety and depression. in fact my parents began medicating me for this when i was in the first grade, when the nuns at the parochial school i attended informed them i wasn't "living up to expectations." at this time (early 80s), the medications were as heavy as they are today - in fact, many of the drugs that were put into my childhood body are currently considered barbaric in standard medical practice. nice. anyway, in my teen years and early 20s, i tried many different medications. prozac, paxil, zoloft, blah blah blah. i wanted to put out the fire - i wanted to mellow out and not feel the anxiety. i wanted to not feel the sadness. i was taught that those things were not ok to feel - that these human emotions were to be avoided at all costs. the line-up that my doctors settled upon were remeron and ativan. the remeron was 7.5mg daily, the ativan .5mg as needed. for over a decade, i kept the remeron between 3.75 and 7.5 - the ativan, between .25 and .5. i've always been a "little dab will do you" individual. when i still consumed alcoholic beverages, i was a totally cheap date. 1 drink felt good, 2 drinks was a nap on the couch. my system has always been highly sensitive, as so many of ours are. in late 2011, the ativan wasn't working anymore. the doctors threw in some xanax and bumped the ativan dose. it helped a little. in early 2012, i noticed some profound dizziness - like i was walking on a swaying ship. i had actually been noticing this for a year or more, doctors could find no pathology to explain it. but it was getting worse. i suspected it was the remeron. my doctor said, "well, stop taking it." so, i ditched the 7.5mg of remeron cold turkey YAHOOOOO! and my system went nuts. i could not eat, i could not sleep. i began losing weight - lots. in hindsight, i realize i was in full benzodiazepine tolerance withdrawal and remeron withdrawal. my doctors said it was "just the anxiety getting worse." they were just about ready to throw some klonopin into the mix when i bailed. i started a rapid taper that essentially amounted to a cold turkey from the ativan and began to suffer intensely. between the months of april 2012 and june 2012, i went from being a solidly built 162lb marathon runner to a 129lb human who could not lift his head off the pillow, barely acknowledged his wife and children, was confused as to who the president was and what month it was, and finally, began having intense violent intrusive thoughts - both suicidal and outwardly motivated. i checked myself into a hospital. i was so scared. i figured that was the thing i needed to do. get fixed. as soon as i got in, they tried to get me to reinstate the benzodiazepines. i refused. in my lucid moments, i had read too much online to do it. they put me on seroquil, which produced serious side effects. they switched me to risperidone and left me with that. i wanted out of the hospital. they became fairly insistent that if i were to do so, i would need to be on another medication. i mentioned reinstating the remeron. they liked that idea. they put me back on 7.5mg. a day later, they bumped me up to 15mg, a day later, they bumped me up to 30mg. my whole body was vibrating. i was having nocturnal emissions nightly in the hospital bed. the intrusive thoughts and all the other withdrawal symptoms skipped along merrily, unaffected by the drugs, but the hospital thought i was "good to go." so off i went. oh, and they handed me a script for valium on the way out "just in case." in the hospital, i mentioned both benzo and antidepressant withdrawal. even offering to show them the ins and outs of the ashton manual, which in the benzo world, is fairly revered. the doctors took a position that what i had to say was of little consequence. they were the doctors after all, they should know best. and any words on my part were greeted as a questioning of their authority. the next 8 to 12 months were essentially hell. i kicked the risperidone to the curb almost immediately. if anything, that anti-psychotic was making things worse. the 30mg of remeron was so damn activating, i wanted to jump out of my skin and climb up trees daily. but i felt stuck on it. when i began experiencing intermittent periods of gradually extending "windows" and "waves," i began to taper the remeron slowly. things were very bad for a very long time. very bad. did i mention that things were VERY VERY BAD? i managed to keep my job. it wasn't easy. when i was at my very worst, i would work from my bed at home. getting up to puke, sitting in a stupor, trying to answer e-mails and phone calls as if my brain were not a bashed-up mess. trying to put together sentences. when i was able to return to work, the intrusive thoughts were so bad, i either stayed glued to my desk, or else went back behind my office building and fought off the daily urge to throw myself into the waters. i wanted to die so bad. those waters were almost calling me into them. i fought back. and i am glad, beyond, that i fought. by the 8 to 9 month mark, things started improving somewhat quickly, the tapering of the remeron was becoming somewhat easier, the benzo symptoms were easing. the windows got longer and longer until the waves became basically a couple hours during a day or two per month. i need to cut this short. i could literally write a book about this whole experience, but i don't want to waste your time and i myself have to boogie. let me just say this. i am still tapering - i am now at 2mg of liquid remeron. i have a pharmacy compound for me. i make 10% cuts, hold for 4 to 6 weeks in between, and go in for another round. when i cut, i feel it the day after i make it - an intensification of the symptoms. things settle for a short while. around the 2 week mark after a cut, it kicks me harder. usually restless legs, nausea, intestinal disturbance, mild insomnia, intensification of anxiety and the desire to cry for no reason at all. the intrusive thoughts are totally gone. i don't experience these anymore. and i am thankful. they were my worst symptom. they plagued me and plagued me and plagued me and they are gone. i try to eat as clean as possible. higher protein, lower carbs, almost no refined sugars. i short-circuit the cortisol response by waking at 0345hrs each morning. i am at the gym very early, i put in a workout, i go to work. i could not exercise at all for the first year after withdrawal. it would activate my central nervous system to much. but now i lift weights and lift heavy and i do only enough cardio to keep that system as optimal as i feel it needs to be. i supplement with whey protein, vitamin d, b vitamin/folic acid, magnesium, and some occasional omegas in the form of either fish oil or hemp protein. i do not drink alcohol. i do not use pot. i consider these substances a colossal waste of time. i do not use any other chemicals that will interfere with my brain chemistry. i'm not sure how much of a hassle these last 2mg will be. i think i will probably be all done with the remeron by the end of 2015, if things keep ticking along. that is my goal at least. after benzo withdrawal, and the remeron withdrawal that followed, i know i can weather whatever storm. i'll own the pain. i'm not a tough guy at all. but withdrawal has showed me two things: that i can live through hell on earth and that the anxiety and depression that underlies my personal psychology is "normal," and manageable without the use of chemical substances. thanks for taking the time to read this. and no matter where you are on your own journey, hang in there. when i was 129lbs and barely able to move, barely cognizant of who i was, i doubted that i would ever heal. i am almost there, community. you will be too. hang in there...

Looking to see if anyone has successfully been able to come off of lexapro after prolonged use and would be grateful for any advice. Am frightened and feel desolate/desperate. To provide some insight into my history: I have been on Lexapro (20 mg) for about 8 years. Tried to taper -unsucessfully -over a four month period ( realize now it was too fast). Ended up hospitalized, due to insomnia and suicidal thoughts. Was told this was due to my 'disease' (depression) coming back. I have never had these problems nor feelings before and know it was due to WD. Am now back on 20 mg lexapro, 15 mg Remeron and 2.5 olanzapine ( I cannot sleep without Remeron and olanzapine). Thank you.

Hello all. I've been on various meds since 2005 when I was 21. I was put on Remeron because of what I now see as situational anxiety due to then-undiagnosed ADHD. I think it's time for me to leave this state and move ahead. The trigger for this desire is a recent cognitive assessment I did where I found out that things that were once easy for me intellectually are now harder, which is especially concerning for someone who's always been over-achieving and has "being smart" as an integral part of their identity. My short term memory is really bad with all of those medications, and what drove me towards doing the assessment is struggles at work that have been going on for the last three years. Though the assessment was the acute trigger, there are larger themes at play that made me really struggle the last few years. My sense of self is vague and undefined. I used to be much sharper and brighter, passionate, and awake; qualities that I feel are lost under the haze of artificial neurotransmitter modulation. I'm at an impasse that simply can't be overcome by adding a new med every few months (believe me, I tried). I feel like I'm half the person I used to be at work and at life. I crave authenticity and clarity rather than an artificial sense of (over)confidence. Despite all of that, I really feel some gratitude for the journey. I did a lot in these 15 years in spite of/because of (can't tell at this stage honestly) these meds, including getting two master's degrees and meeting really wonderful people throughout. I try to avoid an attitude of being anti psych meds as they are really helpful in some life situations. I actually don't plan on going off the ADHD med I'm currently on, and I'm even open to the idea of being on an anti-depressant in the future if needs be and I can tolerate it. I recently gave stopping Remeron a try (jumped from 3.5mg dose or thereabouts, wasn't doing accurate cutting and weighing back then), and was actually doing fine (the most salient withdrawal symptom was itchiness, which is honestly fine). This went on until sometime in the second week when the usual acute withdrawal symptoms came at me (akathisia, insomnia, nausea, etc). Before that, I experienced a lovely sense of lucidity and intellectual playfulness that made me feel 20 again. I had the loveliest conversation with my best friend, without the recent robotic disinterest that these meds seem to cause me. I decided afterwards to reinstate, get off the other problematic meds I was on first (Klonopin and Latuda), regroup, then tackle the Remeron gently. For the last few months, I've been collecting stories of people who successfully overcame this mess as well as quotes from the Baylissa's book. I've also been training my faith, acceptance, and non-resistance/non-anticipation muscles. I am currently reading Hope and Help for Your Nerves, and determined to come up with a plan with my therapist to stock up on coping skills. This endeavor is, in essence, part of a greater desire to live a life that is built around my abilities (whatever those may be after I'm done with my tapering) and interests, instead of hysterically and aggressively going after situations that are overly ambitious but ultimately destructive for me. This, to me, is the reason I went on and continued to be lulled by these meds for a decade and a half. I really don't care about material ambitions at this point; I just want a pleasant and meaningful life. I've successfully got off Klonopin after a year of (low-dosage, 0.125mg every two or three nights) last month. I've also got off Latuda this week and I'm doing generally well. I do realize that I'm still not completely clear off of these meds, so my plan is to resume my tapering etc. after some weeks. When I started, my goals were as follows: 1. Stop benzodiazepines (DONE) 2. Overcome polypharmacy 3. Stop Remeron The order of 2 and 3 doesn't matter to me, though I'm currently leaning towards stopping Remeron first as I've been on it the longest and maybe staying on Brintellix while getting off of it can lessen the withdrawal symptoms. So yeah, this is my introduction post. Thank you for reading.