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Hi,everyone. My name is Manny.my psiquiatrist wants me to reduce the cymbalta from 60 to 30 mgs. I know it is a 50% reduction.i should decrease only 10%.how do i taper off 10%? And how long it takes? Should i open the capsules and count the number of beads and remove that 10%? How do i ingest the 90% remaining? With water? With juice? Can i do water tritation? I take cymbalta 60,abilify 25,ativan 2.5,risperdal 7.5 mg.

Hi, I am happy to know this site exists! After coming off of a couple of other antipsychotics (see below) I am finally on one that seems the lesser of evils. That being said Lurasidone is not perfect. I’m on 30 mg, soon to be 20 mg of Lurasidone. I have been on 30 mg (from 40 mg) for 3 months now so I feel it is time to trial a reduction. So far I haven’t had any withdrawal symptoms, but I’m pretty sure I am a poor metabolizer of this medication, so I’m expecting a delayed withdrawal. I think it will take some convincing to go down any further than 20 mg because I am on this medication for Schizophrenia which I have been newly diagnosed with, and literature with being poor metabolizers on antipsychotics is limited (I only found an article stating if you’re on Risperidone you should be on 1/4 of the recommended dose). It took enough convincing to get this far, as the normal starting dose for Schizophrenia is 40 mg. I haven’t had any hallucinations or other symptoms on 30 mg so I am hoping 3 months was long enough to go ahead and trial 20 mg. Overall, I find Lurasidone the lesser of evils for antipsychotics as I am not drowsy at all, and don’t have akathisia as bad as I did on other medications. I have had some weight gain, my hair is thinning a lot, and I have a bit of akathisia in the afternoons so I’m hoping the reduction will help with this. I wish I could go off of all medications, and part of me still believes that there is a possibility that my short-lived psychosis episodes were because of medication withdrawal, not schizophrenia, as I was coming off of medication both times the psychosis happened. Or, I have entertained that there is a possibility I have both Schizophrenia, AND had withdrawal psychosis. Either way the psychosis which presented as auditory hallucinations was super scary and I don’t think I want to experiment with being completely off a medication for now. If I was able to convince my psychiatrist to taper completely off of it at some point, I would probably want to be in hospital and because of the delayed withdrawals I experience, it would be quite a lengthy stay, so not ideal right now. July 2020 - Feb 2021 : Risperidone March 2021 - April 2021 : Abilify September 2021 - March 2022 : Clopixol March 2022 - Current : Lurasidone (Latuda)

I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will

Hello everyone. I had a psychotic episode in August 2022. Cannabis induced. Cannabis was possibly laced or sprayed with chemicals. I became very paranoid, didn't have visual or auditory hallucinations, but definitely was living in my own reality. Same month I was put in mental hospital for 3 weeks. Was given Risperidone 2mg tablets while I was there then when I was released and was put on compulsory treatment order and also put on Risperidone Consta injections 37.5ml. First Injection I had was on 1st of September. Then an injection every two weeks. After couple of injections I started noticing that I get exhausted by afternoon (About 3 pm) which was surprising. After more injections I noticed that by late afternoon all I wanted to do is lay in bed and do nothing which was alarming. Until one day, in October, I woke up and I felt extremely exhausted and extremely fatigued. I couldn't do much, but eat, lay in bed, even watching TV was very difficult, I had to force myself to do anything. I wanted to kill myself from the way I felt. I begged psychiatrists to cancel the injections, but they didn't. They changed the dose in December down to 25ml, but that didn't seem to change much. Only stopped them in Jan 5th 2023. I used to be a very active person, used to walk a lot (couple of times I walked 20km in one go, but 2-3hours on average a day), used to train 6 times a week, run 12km in the mornings, make music, draw, read a lot, play video games, have many interests, was very talkative, basically always doing something, I was alive 9 weeks later after the injections stopped. I don't really want to do anything, but lay in bed. I'm sort of able to watch TV now. I have to force myself to cook a meal, to go for walks, there is no enthusiasm or excitement about things. Just feel weak and unmotivated. I'm really worried about what's happening to me. Psychiatrists really haven't answered this question "what is happening to me and why this is happening" Thank you for your time

My name is Christy. I have been taking psychiatrist medications since 2004. I have been on countless antipsyhcoti medication since due to psychosis. I can't remember their names. But 2018, I was switched to antidepressants. I have been on different antidepressants since 2018 till 2021 October, when I try to taper off escitalopram that I was on. I then had terrible insomna and terrible anxiety that led to trying various antidepressants from 2021 October till October 2022. October 2022, my psychiatrist then started me on olanzapine 10mg and paxil 20mg for months, i was then told to taper off . 2023 October, I taper off the olanzapine very fast and try cold turkey the paxil. I became psychosis. I was then place on abilify on 16th November 2023. The abilify was then change to risperdal by 18th January 2024. Risperdal 0.5mg and I try to taper again but had serious withdrawal. I then restated to 1mg by 22 February 2024 . I intend starting tapering off by March 2024 when I finally fully stabilised; which I think I am now but I will wait till March 7th , 2024 to start my slow taper off risperdal 1mg. In my country, I cannot get liquid risperdal or ora plus or any suspending agent. There is no compounding Pharmacy close to me. So I will have to dilute my risperidal tablet in water using water method to do my taper. Admin, please is there anyone who have done water method using risperdal tablet. Thank you

Community of Healing, hello. In December of 2014, just a bit more than 6 years ago, I came to this site after already weathering two years of nearly life-terminating withdrawal. I'd been on psychotropic medications for most of my life and in my estimation, my nervous system had decided it'd had enough. From February 2012 to approximately March of 2014, I felt I was literally living in hell. I was hospitalized twice, lost long-running friendships and new career opportunities, tried a plethora of medications, supplements, and herbs in an attempt to "fix" withdrawal, and ultimately came to the realization that pharmaceutical medications would not be the answer to my suffering. Pharmaceutical medications had been the cause of my suffering. And what my brain and body needed was support, tenderness, forgiveness, care and time... TIME... to heal. Benzodiazepines had been the first drugs I withdrew from. That was a brutal, nightmarish withdrawal, but relatively short-lived (acute @ 8 months). Tapering from Mirtazapine proved a longer journey, a much longer journey that I shared here. So this is my success story, my chapter-turning post. This is my declaration that I have been successful in tapering from medications that had deranged my nervous system to such a degree that I was scarcely able to operate in the world anymore. I took much time to make this declaration of success as I am by nature skeptical, and wanted to be sure that healing had indeed come - and come to stay. I feel that it has. I discontinued Mirtazapine, my last psychotropic medication, on June 15, 2019. There are still some echos of it that I deal with in day to day life. My issues with histamine intolerance I believe are directly attributable to Mirtazapine's affinity for histamine receptor occupancy. I manage this issue with dietary and exercise modifications as well as use of select vitamins and herbs. It is not life-deterring. It can be inconvenient and sometimes unpleasant, but it is nowhere near as debilitating as withdrawal itself had been. Despite posting this success story, I'm not going anywhere really. I am always happy to answer questions about my journey. When I was in the worst of my own withdrawal, the feedback from moderators and members of this community and elsewhere were absolute lifelines. Not that anyone could necessarily fix my problems - but I could walk away with sound, compassionate advice and if nothing else, the knowledge that my suffering had been heard, and that someone ultimately cared about me. Your suffering is heard, and someone ultimately cares about you. I want to thank @Altostrata and every moderator past and present for their kind forbearance, compassion, and dedication. I want to thank every member for their strength, endurance, bravery, and perseverance towards a healthy life free of the chemicals that have caused them harm. You all have something, many things, to be proud of. I believe in every human's potential to heal. Take your time, taper well, make the most sound choices you can, and know that healing is absolutely within your power to achieve. Hang in there, Dave

Hi there I am coming off risperdal. I know its tough but is it possible. I was really hoping to hear from alto strata on the matter. What speed should I start my taper at? Guys is there any hope? All im hearing are nightmare stories and im desperate for hope...

I was looking for something else and ran across these articles. Apparently there has been an association for nearly 20 years now that anti psychotics, especially risperidone, used long term can be a potential cause of pituitary tumors. Recent studies are firming this up and finding an association. Great 🫢 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30531551/ https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Fulltext/2012/12000/Atypical_Antipsychotics_and_Pituitary_Tumors.1.aspx https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/antipsychotic-drug-may-be-linked-pituitary

Short introduction, I'm pyr23 currently living in the netherlands. I've been taking medications since I was 19 and have quite a host of diagnoses. Most accurate is schizo-affective, I've been struggling this like most others here for quite a while, unfortunately after 25 years I now know it's a lifelong thing. My last try for getting in a better place involved a rediagnosis for Autism, in which it it might be possible to live with another medication structure. This didn't really work out since I'm actually way to old for that. I see that now as a midlife crisis from an old psychiatric patient. We can't all have a fast car and a young girlfriend, but we can go though another diagnosis, just for old times sake. If you're young please try and keep up and keep your meds as low as possible. For some people full recovery will be possible, and the younger you start the better your chances are. Try to make space for yourself financially with family and all other support you can find, if you're in a good place try to see what is possible.

Here is my intro thread: ☼-armorall-ct-from-bupropion-and-risperidone Hello everyone! I will relay all the important things that I think serve people in WD (as did me, all I ever did was read the success stories part), then if you want to read more details, there’s a more detailed account following the abridged version, lol. Dosage and Tapering: I’m a 46 year old cis-female. I took 150 mg Bupropion for roughly 4 months alongside 2mg Risperidone for 3 months then switched to 10 mg Abilify for 3 weeks then 20 mg Latuda. So basically I took an SNRI plus an antipsychotic for 4 months. All were cold-turkeyed and no one I touched, not my psychiatrist, his nurse, his resident, my therapist or my GP said anything to warn me about it. I found this site two weeks after I started having symptoms. Trying to figure out how to reinstate drugs was too tricky amongst mod discussions, so we decided that nothing was probably the best solution. Symptoms: I couldn’t sing, write/listen to music, watch TV/music, read, take my son out to parks because I was either too tired/depressed, or the activity would send me into paroxysms of anxiety. At work, I slept through all my prep periods and had to leave early/show up late often because I was so beyond tired, even after sleeping for 8 to 20 hours. I couldn’t eat, I lost 70 pounds in 3 months, I lost 50% of my hair. I had heat dysregulation that would wake me up at night (heat would roll down my body), my skin peels off like a snake. I couldn’t eat sugar or carbs or else it would hyperstimulate me or make me super sluggish. I have tinnitus in my left ear, I still feel tremors at night. If I turn suddenly, either in my sleep or awake, my heart will start to race. Eating food or taking naps will also stimulate intense anxiety. I had to wear sunglasses while using the computer because the light was too bright. I will never be able to take cold medicine, drink coffee or alcohol ever again as it will bring me back to being ridden with symptoms. Hypnic jerks, waking panic attacks, fractured sleep, intense fatigue, floaters in the eyes, sound sensitivity while sleeping, expressive aphasia, inability to exercise for more than 10 minutes because it exacerbates symptoms, I often mix up homophones, and my short term memory suffers. Sore muscles if I do things that are slightly outside of the norm (reaching for a can on a higher shelf, using an unfamiliar computer mouse, twisting my body to tie something that I don’t usually tie, different shoes) will make my muscles sore. Recovery: Month 13 - I turned my first corner. I suddenly stopped having massive anxiety/rage episodes after napping, eating or upon waking in the morning. Month 18 - I then hit another benchmark of improvement. I could workout for 30 minutes without any repercussions. Month 22 - I found myself fully recovered!!! What had happened is that a friend was DJing on the beach and we decided that was a safe enough activity to try. We walked two miles to get there, danced all night, then walked the 2 miles back to car, then I got on the phone with a friend in distress and was up until 4:30am- I got up the following day at 11am and received house guests and never felt any ill effect, no waves, nothing. I realized then that I was fully recovered. At month 22, I could: sleep more or less normally and take naps with no consequence, wake up early in the morning without effect, exercise or dance as much and as long as I wanted to, eat sweets with no effect, listen and enjoy music, movies and other media. I feel like my old vivacious self again. I can work all day, plan parties, and am very active as an activist. I am fully present to my family. My husband and I are now seeing a sexologist (highly recommended) since we had lost our sex life before in withdrawal. It’s fun! At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. If I’m out doing some activity, I don’t notice it, but if I’m home, I’m asleep from the effects. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire (like at work) and in a more relaxed situation (like laying in bed with my husband) where I have to search for the words I mean to say (ex. So…I was at the store and I uh…trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. If I get too hot (while I’m asleep or during the summer sitting in the heat) my heart will start beating faster, but it doesn’t do anything to me emotionally. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! - ALSO thanks to the crew here at SA, aside from trying an acupuncture/herb regimen at the very beginning of withdrawal (which was completely disastrous), I never ever took anything to try to alleviate the WD state. I think that helped me a ton even though I kept asking in the forums about various things to try and noticing how risky it was. I never ended up taking/doing any of it. Just sleep, fish oil and magnesium. That lack of tinkering with supplements, drugs and weird devices probably got me here quickly and in a solid manner. So, please hold off on those for temporary relief whenever possible, it will help your receptors come back earlier in the long run! - I encourage everyone to start dropping reviews and doing what you can to get the word out about our suffering (like sharing the movie “Medicating Normal” - I have the link you can use so people can watch the 56 minute version for free! https://www.pbs.org/video/medicating-normal-kinbho/) once you are healed or feel up to it. I am available to help you write your reviews if you want. Just contact me here or via FB. Link is in my signature. Here is a breakdown that I had on a calendar of what new symptom was showing up/then later going away month by month. Month 1: Insomnia Month 2: Tinnitus Month 3: sore muscles from slight, but unfamiliar activity Month 4: fatigue/depression Month 5: nervous stomach Month 6: getting worse, turmoil Month 7: just absolutely awful Month 8: muscle twitches at night Month 9: more depression, more muscle twitches Month 10: inner tremor Month 11: expressive aphasia Month 12: dry eyes and mouth, more head pressure Month 13: Doing better! No anxiety anymore after dinner or nap. No new symptoms! Month 14: lots of muscle soreness as I try to increase my time on elliptical to 10 minutes Month 15: I can now listen to music and watch movies Month 16: my menstrual period stopped becoming erratic and is a normal cycle can workout for 16 minutes Month 17: Can eat sweets again! No cortisol from taking a nap. Month 18: Can workout for 30 minutes! Can eat A LOT of sweets and nothing happens to me. Month 19: Workout 40 minutes, sleep well even after exercising late in the day Month 20: Average heart rate lower. Up to 1.5 hours of exercise! Can listen to music and it feel the way I did before withdrawal Month 21: Doing well! Month 22: Breakthrough! Dance and walked 4 miles, stayed up all night, still felt good the next day! Month 23: Done! Functioning and feeling normal and good. When to write success story? Extra special thanks to @Shep, @Altostrata and @Undiagnosed1 for dealing with so many questions and keeping me grounded and unmedicated. Special thanks to the following SA members for their constant positive feedback and support: @Superwoman, @mustafa, @Erell, @Glosmom, @coldturkmama, @Hanna72, @ChessieCat, @manymoretodays, @Sassenach, @DrugfreeProf Here is the long and detailed version of my account if anyone wants to read it, otherwise take care and ask all the questions and requests for support that you want! As you can see from my drug history, I started out taking Bupropion and Risperidone after practically forcing (meaning I didn’t know my rights in the hospital, I thought I *had* to do what the psychiatrist told me, I found out later I was wrong. I was hospitalized on my own decision, so I didn’t have to take anything) me to take it via the hospital psychiatrist. Interestingly enough, her reviews show that polydrugging and overdrugging were definitely her thing. One complaint said that someone’s wife was on 9 medications because of her. Anyways, so after debating with the doctor on how deadly psychiatric drugs were (and my crappy therapist calling my husband to tell him to coax me into it because “it’s the only solution”) I was on both. Two months pass and even though I was spellbound from feeling better when I first took the drug, in retrospect, I was the same or worse. What was making me nuts prior to being hospitalized was probably how crazy I was while breastfeeding. I had learned before that I really don’t do well with hormonal changes- couldn’t take the pill without it driving me crazy, couldn’t take the Mirena IUD- just made me hungry and I bled for 6 straight months while others usually lose their period using Mirena. Anyways, so when I took Bupropion and Risperidone, I guess one of the side effects of the latter is that it ups your prolactin levels (related to lactating). So, even though I quit breastfeeding because I was on psychiatric drugs, I was still as jacked up or worse on them. The wellbutrin was super activating for me, too. I remember taking it and at night my eyes just dried out into raisins and I couldn’t sleep until 3am. So later, once the risperidone built up enough, I started getting suddenly sleeping at 11pm and couldn’t stay awake if I wanted to. My psychiatrist took a blood sample two months after I started and noticed that my prolactin levels were high. The next time I saw him, he said he’s switching me to Abilify, and that I should cut the Risperidone in half, take one the next day, the other half the next, then start a half of Abilify and the other half the next day. Yeah, that’s his idea of switching me out. So, 21 days pass and I’m slowly becoming more restless. I can’t lay in bed long enough to put my son down for sleep. I go get a facial and they cover my eyes with something and I freak out and rip one eye cover open. Simultaneously, I’m becoming more lethargic. I stop caring about hanging out with my adorable toddler son. I’m a teacher so I’m off for the summer, but I keep dropping my son off at daycare instead of spending time with him. The idea of having to make him breakfast seems overwhelming. I call the resident (because I can’t just get a hold of my shrink) and the resident approves me going off it. My shrink puts me on Latuda. I have crazy insomnia, then I go off of it. I continue to have insomnia. Mind you, I’m still taking Bupropion. My therapist says that bupropion is too activating for some of her clients. I go off it immediately in hopes of sleeping. After a week, I could finally sleep on my own, no melatonin or anything. Mind you, my psychiatrist knew, my GP knew, my therapist knew- I had happened to see each and every one of them within a week of quitting. NO ONE told me going off cold turkey was dangerous. No one. A month later, I start the heck that is withdrawal. And I’m so lucky I found Surviving Antidepressants at that time, or else I would have been even more kindled. I did go back to my psychiatrist to confront him about not protecting me (the psychiatrist in the hospital *also* never said anything about cold-turkeying drugs being dangerous). He said that withdrawal only lasts two weeks and when I asked him what he thinks I should do, he said he’d prescribe me Wellbutrin again and Trazadone for my insomnia. I never saw him again. So, that was my “taper plan”! And, I was scared to death. Like many of us, my symptoms changed every month, and for the WD-addled mind, it’s so scary. Looking back, some of the changes were very benign, too, like muscle twitches. You can see it all in my history. Through all this, I read success stories over and over. I also got in touch with Michael Priebe of the Lovely Grind as well as Undiagnosed1 who had posted his story here and offered to be an ear to anyone who is struggling. Both helped me, I paid for coaching from Michael (and Baylissa for a time- yes, I talked to EVERYONE- Stuart Shipko, Ann Blake Tracy, you name it!) I know you are not supposed to cling to other people’s timelines and compare yourself to them, or stick to a designated time on when you’ll think you’d be done, but I did it anyways (and yeah, got yelled at by one of my coaches- I won’t say which one). I tried to tell them, it’s just a goal, like when people say they will lose weight by a certain time- if they don’t hit it, they just make a new goal, but it at least gives me hope. So the strange thing is, my timeline was very close to Michael and Undiagnosed1. I was suffering pretty badly about 3 months in, I wasn’t asked back to my school of employment because I was struggling so much at work, my husband served me divorce papers at 7 months in because he was done with me being a wreck in front of our kid and blaming him for my medication usage. The only thing that really saved me was Covid- the courts weren’t in session so my husband *couldn’t* divorce me. We saw a therapist and she said to take advantage of this time to see if we could heal together. With Covid outside, I was able to rest a lot at home. My husband somehow trusted me to be with our son after all that and my son and I would just lay in bed and watch cartoons together and eat or go out to the forest and explore, it was actually really nice as my body continued to buzz with withdrawal. The insomnia portion had really died down after month 5 and I was really, really tired more than that, but of course deeply depressed/anxious. My husband and I still argued, mostly it would be me waking up anxious after a name, then being frustrated from the toxic nap and us getting into it. At month 11, a new symptom was expressive aphasia (it was hard for me to respond with the right words). I was so freaked out and contacted two different people who had had it on SA. Both said they recovered from it (I eventually did, too). Miraculously, at month 12, something in me settled. Like, eating and sleeping stopped triggering such a harsh response from me. I was still pretty messed up, but the fighting stopped. I stayed on that level and taught from home that year, which was also much more relaxing of course than managing behavior and teaching in person. I stayed at that level, then at month 20, I realized I could listen to music fully and it didn’t make me anxious and I could find it pleasurable in the same way that it did before WD. Month 22 we went out dancing and I realized I was probably mostly recovered. Before, I was only doing like 10 minutes on the elliptical (exercise) machine and that was enough to bring on symptoms. Here, we parked the car almost two miles away, danced all night, walked back. Nothing happened to me, it didn’t throw me into a wave or anything. Then on the way back to our house, my friend calls in turmoil. I get on the phone with her and stay up until 4:30am, yet another thing that would have taken me out in WD. Nothing happened to me. We even had guests the next day at noon and I was fine, didn’t feel wavy or even wiped from the night/early morning before! So, I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot about symptoms. I kept a journal the whole time as well as every month I would list on a sheet as it passed, I would write down any new symptoms each month, then after month 13, started writing improvements at each month. I will leave that list in another post as I’m getting tired now. One thing I did notice, expressive aphasia was probably my worst symptom, and after I experienced that one, a month later is when I finally started to get better instead of worse. I remember Undiagnosed1 had kaleidoscope vision right before he got better. So, I wonder if you do get some crazy symptom right before you start feeling better. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! So, what are my lingering symptoms? At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I do try every couple of months to drink coffee, because it was my only religion before, lol. Even decaf messes me up (not terribly, but I really don’t want to feel bad at all). I have found though that I’m much, much more peaceful and less anxious than I ever was before WD, because I was a coffee fiend in that past life. I didn’t ever believe that coffee was making me anxious, but looking back, it was. It wore me out, it made me more irritable. Nothing like withdrawal, but still. I am much more peaceful than I was back then and much less irritable. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire where I have to search for the words I mean to say (So…I was at the store and I uh…(trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. I’m really bursting over with life now, constantly enthusiastic, met all the dreams I had when I was in WD, teaching my kid soccer and music, really being there for him and my husband. Gone back to being an activist and loving it. My husband and I started seeing a sexologist (yeah, I had never heard of one either, she’s a friend of mine who was licensed recently, that’s how I knew about it- I can refer you if you want! She works with a lot of people who are suffering from PSSD), and now we are embarking on improving our sex life. I’m at 29 months out. I would have written my success story around 24 months, but I wanted to wait until I was teaching in-person full time so that I could really celebrate being in the space that was destroying me when I was suffering with withdrawal fatigue. One step or one yell too many and it was like I had lost all life and energy. I wanted to come back to the space and see how much I could finally handle it again, with all the love and energy I have for the profession and my children. But…it looks like with how often schools are closing and opening because of Covid, it may be a while before I can actually go back into the classroom (I am privileged in that I can make that choice), so I thought now, while it’s the beginning of the year, is best. I am absolutely indebted to all the staff here (which reminds me I need to make my yearly donation). Without you, I would be kindled and who knows what else. I’d like to shout out Altostrata, Shep, and so many others that helped me along the way. You are incredible and save and improve so many lives. Please please ask any and all the questions you want. I also included my facebook link in my drug history signature if you need to inbox me and it is full. As those before me, I am here to support you, and remind you that you will heal soon.

I was put on SSRIs when I was 10. Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I never got off them until adulthood. I guess I took it for granted that I needed them. I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that it could be anything but positive or maybe neutral. Really, I don't remember much of what I thought as a child. I grew much worse after that though people could say "that was going to happen anyway", as they do. I have traced a few severe blowups (that had fairly life-altering consequences) to medication changes around that time. My adolescence was the gradual end of any sort of comfort in and control over my own mind. But again, don't these changes sounds similar enough to normal adolescent development that they are very easily dismissed? I couldn't really explain how or why it was any different. That my stress was not of the normal variety. That my mind working worse wasn't simply due to the stress. Even as I made some headway on issues I had, things seemed to get harder. I suspected the level of anxiousness I was feeling wasn't normal. I think my whole system was in a state of hyper arousal. I had intrusive thoughts. Strange patterns of thinking. Positive emotions were blunted. Negative emotions were excruciating. I always felt unsafe because I could sense that my mind and my body had become clumsy and bad at assessing, reacting, defending. I found no pleasure in doing things or accomplishing what little I could. Grew increasingly confused. Increasingly demoralized and demotivated because the good feelings that I felt should have followed from certain pleasures and victories now felt hollow. I have a memory of walking somewhere around my neighborhood around 18 and being horrified that nothing looked real. It was like I was looking at inert paintings. This examples of derealization was just one of many terrifying, confusing experiences I was subjected to throughout my adolescence as the older adults I turned to dismissed and demeaned and blamed me for something they either directly inflicted on me or that was inflicted with their participation and complicity. I was beginning to hope in 2016 because I realized my mental state had begun to improve by leaps and bounds after my emotionally abusive brother moved away and I had less exposure to him. I could still not function though. I was slow to do things. Couldn't figure things out. Had no one who understood. I decided to gamble with coming off my meds. "If anything bad happens I can always just go back on them." I gradually lowered the doses of Wellbutrin and then Prozac over 2-3 months. It felt like nothing really changed. Then 3 months after stopping Prozac, I started to become extremely irritable and angry. Losing it and throwing things. I thought I will go back on. And I think, that was the end. My head felt like it exploded. If I thought I had trouble thinking before, it was nothing compared to what I experienced after taking the next pill. I could not sit still and be calm and think. I turned to my GP who vaguely said I should go back on and would resume to a stable state eventually. So I raised the doses, fighting through an excrucating battle because I believed at the end of the road was some bit of safety. For a year, I tormented myself for not only nothing but with the consequence of leaving myself much worse off. By the time I came off again in 2018, I knew I should be doing a slow taper. But I could not figure out anything complex myself. I could not do anything requiring fine motor skills or thinking. I thought if I didn't do it then, I never would. By July 2018, I had come off them both again. Weaning by weeks at a dose though I knew this wasn't enough. I hoped that I would just have to fight through irritability again. Maybe this time, it wouldn't be so bad since I knew it was coming. In some ways, that was true. But I didn't realize how bad it could get. I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to speak or stand up or walk or that every second would feel like an eternity or that I would never have a moment's peace or pleasure or hope. And I didn't know that after suffering through torment for years, I would be left in a state that feels, if not quite as tormenting, just as hopeless. A life devoid of pleasure or meaning. A life where every pathway to anything better is cut off. My food sensitivities developed at 6 months cessation the 2nd withdrawal (around January 2019). At least that's when they hit that I noticed. They'd probably been in the works for a long time before that. Really, even before I'd come off my meds, I think. I ate very little. The few people who saw me said they worried I would die of starvation. I wish I had. Eating most food made the constant pulsating inside shake me violently. And since 99% of the time I had to be lying down, it was not bearable. They also worsened intrusive thoughts and thought patterns which seemed very much like the beginnings of psychosis. I guessed from something I read here that I'd developed a histamine intolerance and it was a a bit easier to manage. Apples were the only thing that helped but it was only local (from this province) and even they were not a guarantee. Ones that didn't work actually made me worse even that other types of foods. An apple from an otherwise good lot that had its skin broken somewhere (those very tiny nicks you see on some) was a bad one and would make me worse. I always hoped to get good ones but rarely did. Much of the worst of my withdrawal, then and now is inextricably linked to my environment: an impossibly disorderly old house mess spilling everywhere and nowhere sanitary to put anything. This not only exacerbated chemical sensitivities which exploded in withdrawal but made me have daily meltdowns because of what as been diagnosed as 'obsessive compulsive disorder" and hyperarousal. If this was extremely distressing and soul-killing before, now in withdrawal it felt more like perpetual sexual violation. I lay in bed with labored breathing, chest pulsating heavily in a way I can't describe. A hurricane of intrusive thoughts in a brain that felt like it had shrunk to the size of a tiny crawlspace so that these thoughts would ricochet around endlessly. I tried to attempt meditation many times but it didn't help. Why would it? One of the first things you're told to do is find a comfortable space. Somewhere you feel relaxed. You might as well tell someone to practice beginner mediation in a mosh pit. In fact, trying to meditate seemed to agitate mental symptoms and worsen awareness of the physical ones. Perhaps if I was already experienced it would have been different. But I wasn't. By the time, my CNS had calmed down enough to try do anything about it again even slightly disturbing certain things would now trigger dust/mold being raised and would cause unbearable feelings. I can't really properly explain the extent to which every single process has been affected. How little I do. Am able to do. How much I've needed to further shut down my brain to deal with worrying about inevitable problems that crop up. My thinking in a calm, clean environment would probably be pretty screwed up still but if I'd had that, I probably would have been able to function and my withdrawal probably wouldn't have been hellish. One of the most important things in withdrawal is to not overstimulate your CNS. For me, the bombardment never stopped. And there was nothing I could do. Thoughts (and occasional attempts) at explaining and asking for help did little good. I was also terrified (and still am) that I would be put somewhere I might be forced to take more psychiatric medications. I even wonder if I could be coerced into it. My mind feels very loose and easy to knock over. Scared. I think it would possible that I could be bullied and shamed into thinking my entire interpretation of events had been wrong and acquiesce to more meds. Especially if I was in an even more helpless position than I am now. I am constantly tired. I can't plan and organize. I don't have a routine. I can barely make food (making healthy food that requires multiple steps is pretty much out of the question). My brain has a lot of trouble with managing different trains of thoughts and things. When I try, it triggers panic, anxiety and this exacerbates physical sensations which lead to more panic/anixety. I know my clothes often make me feel worse if they bits of dust on them. I don't know if that is because the dust in this old house carries mold spores and whatnot or it's just any dust. I also react to scents from almost anything. I've seen this is apparently called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity disorder which barely seems to be taken any more seriously than PAWS. I want to wash my clothes but the steps to doing that often just levae my brain in knots trying to think of how to position myself, move things without surfaces to put things on, keep them from getting more dust on them. And doing it leaves me exhausted. On many days, I'm too tired to even consider it. When I try to think of doing certain things, it's like my brain is being compressed and pinched and stretched. I can feel it in my face muscles and neck. It's torturous and if I push far enough it doesn't help me to do anything. I just lose it and start screaming. I want to ask for help but I know that any help rendered, I would need to explain or at least come up with some lie. I don't know how to do either. How can I say: it is likely pointless to even ask doctors about this because they deny it? How can I say: I have to decide between being cold or not wearing my coat or sweater today because whatever invisible little bits of grime that got on it make my chest feel clenched and my mind go stiff and inflexible in ways that prevents me from thinking and making decisions? I can't even sit in the living room because mold was released from an AC 2 years ago and I can't tolerate the air. I want to find out which air purifiers to get but my brain reels and shuts down trying to figure it out. Thinking about having to get them together to send them back. Figuring out where to put them. It's not the unpleasantness of the process but the fear that the process will bring everything to a screeching halt and there will be even less hope. My mother has barely held together and took care of me but she is older and been slowly collapsing. When I could finally more-or-less manage on my own (getting my own food, ordering groceries, paying bills) she stopped doing anything. I get her books and her meds and she reads and comes out to go the bathroom and make tv dinners. She had already been having emotional battles with my brother for decades before this and I had become her main source of emotional support. She lost this, faced years more of torment and also heard me say (very directly and unkindly things) terrible things when I had meltdowns. Her movement and life is restricted because I am here. She is worried about doing anything that will harm me. We switched rooms because the air in mind stopped me even from sleeping. The house is falling apart. I don't think there is any good future for either of us. I have thought of doing something to land myself in jail or psychiatric care despite the certain torture of forced meds though but think that likely I would just end up there for a time, be left worse off and then in my weakness and with a further damaged brain come back home and I know she would let me. Then I would be back to square 1 and maybe in a more volatile condition that could actually be dangerous. I have feared I would be violent many times. Both because I have so absorbed the idea that I was a bad person and didn't know what I was or wasn't capable of and because I had no idea what may be possible with the brain damage I have suffered. Suicide would solve that but leave her with terrible grief. She would be able to live at least in some manner though I suppose she might no longer want to. Reaching out to somewhere or other for some kind of help means, to me, an army of condescending, reality-denying people to whom I expose my pain and vulnerabilities after all my strength has already been drained. In all my years of experience, I know mostly people do not help. At least they haven't helped me. Maybe it works better when no one's story veers too off-script from what they know. I have thought sometimes of reinstatement. I've also thought maybe the one (I think it's an SSRI) that is suppose to calm that CNS for some people. Much of what I try to think or do is sort of violently cut down even before the thought emerges. I'm always pulled this way and that. But it goes beyond mental and I feel it in a physical way and there is unbelievable force that I can't describe. Every time I'd try to write this, I would stop because of this. I would not know what I was saying, not know the importance, be concerned with the order, the meaning and interpretation, what I was conveying, etc. Things converge into a traffic crash in my head and half thought and action. I don't have postitive thoughts about recovery. It seems usually it is people who were only on for a few years at most. People who began taking them in adulthood. People whose lives and basic functioning as human beings weren't as completely wrecked for their entire lives. I don't really feel entirely good about posting now. But it's been almost 3 years now. I might as well post something. Thank you for reading. I feel embarrassed and disspirited that I won't probably be able to absorb and implement any advice.

ADMIN NOTE jamesbond747 Introductions topic. Please let me know what changes I can make to this post so it doesnot get removed as I am back here after 5 long years and wish to help others on this path. My story- I remember I used to have anxiety and some low confidence issues since I was 10 years old in year 2005. These issues spiralled down into very low mood, depression and schizophrenia when I turned 19 years old. I am now 28 years old. Tldr of my previous post on this website 5 years back- I had severe depression issues since 2014 which psychiatrists tried to treat by putting me on all sorts of antidepressants ( risperidone, clonazepam, aripripazolam, etc). I ran away from home, came back weeks later. I used to cold turkey many times many drugs (dont do it without supervision/advise) because of how they made me feel, only to be put back on another type of antidepressant amd the cycle continued. I was miserable, had given up on life due to no way out of depression. I became suicidal. I looked up on Internet for hope. Google led me to this website after heavy searching and using vpn too as this website doesnt show up in simple search. I simply cant imagine the troubles common people have to take to reach this website due to flawed google SEO. I found some relief here as I chatted with like minded people and moderators. I tried many subreddits too but almost all dont allow newbie to post content or comment without karma and I didnt get karma after trying useless advises given on many websites. (sigh! life is so hard when one is desperate and websites like reddit make it harder). I was low on karma for 1 year which didnt allow me to discuss my problems with others. Back to 2020, I was put in psych ward as things went more out of control. Greatfully, I was put on abilify and parkin. Other antidepressants were cold turkeyed by my psychiatrist in the ward. Now cold turkey was a very bad thing, it gave me ptsd for 3 months (alll those windows and waves 😵‍💫) which looked like eternity. I was out of psych ward after 10 months. I had to follow up for 2 more months. They did not release me because I had recovered. It was because I had turned somewhat stable. I turned stable because I saw people like me there, I learned what was making them worse and what was improving them which caused their early release. Basically all I learnt there was self control and behaviour control. Deep inside I was still feeling miserable and depressed but learnt to hide them in psych ward. Now in may 2022 I took a linking to abilify as it didnot have any side effects other than weight gain, sleepiness amd high blood pressure. Same was confirmed by reviews on drugs.com and other user feedback websites. I took it whenever I felt stressed to induce heavy sleep and avoid any work. After 1 month of abilify usage and parkin discontinuing, I noticed my depression was very low which allowed me to look things from different perspective. For first time in my life I actually started enjoying doing things. I started little exercising and doing physical household work without any irritation. I got a wfh customer service job. After 8 months of usage, the weight gain was becoming strong and my physcial health was suffering even though my mental health was okay. I could not do any exercise due to 10 kg weight gain and very high blood pressure in 5 months. I had to stop abilify in january 2023. By now I had good understanding of what depression is, its like I developed a bonding to depression, I could smell when I had slightest amount of depression. I wanted to get rid of it and antidepressant cycles too. I quit amazon job in february as weight gain and intolerance to simple exercises was a severe disability. In my job exeperience I interacted with american people, I learnt their culture, their problems. I saw the supplement industry which was booming there, the people who were madly health conscioua. People were buying absurdly high priced health supplements and drugs to boost their mental and physical health. They would justify to me how good it made them feel, the teenagers, the adults, the old alike. In february 2023 I started supplementing. By november 2023, I have a deep feeling I have got rid of depression from roots ( I can still smell slightest depression in me or other people) and now I am on a road to physical health boosting in a natural way. I ran 4 kilometre in one go a week back and wish to reach 14 kilometre target as I am still 28 years old. Today my family dont have slightest smell of depression from me and I am trying to healthify them too. I dont know why no one helped me by informing the amount of natural vitamins and minerals, their types and their dosage on this website. Its just not mentioned in any post too. It seems this website helps in suviving ADs and not staying afloat after surviving. Here are some vitamins and minerals which you can take to stay afloat after surviving antideppressants. You can choose what you like, company/brand as for some hairfall maybe cause of depression, for some body dysmorphia, for some eating disorder, for some anxiety, etc. Please get your blood tests done and discuss with your physician/healthcare provider before taking them-( Please take these after you have left all antidepressants as ADs will surely react with these supplements, another advise which I didn't get🫠) 1- For general stamina- I tried simple multivitamin containing simple low amounts of nutrients once a day or every 3rd day. ( Avoid shilajit, ashwagandha, etc unless none others are available as they disbalance magnesium, iron and hormones in body, My recommendation- centrum men has vitamins and minerals in low amounts so it can be digested by weak gi people but it has high amounts of vitamin a and d so better not take any other vitamin a and vitamin d source that day or if you are allergic to any ingredients.) 2- For skin- decent fish oil capsule once a day or once a week. 3- For hair- biotin 5 or 10 mg per day or per week. 4- For eyes- I tried AREDS 2 website on google. All Areds 2 supplements did was improve my vision by 0.5 points only, I was hoping for more. I stopped them as I saw a small note that areds2 causes lung cancer in 0.5% users. 5- For blood pressure- I took magnesium taurate, one or two tablet per day, I also took one or two vitamin k2mk7 per day. 6- For protein- I took Optimum nutrition 10gram or 22 gram per day. 7- For creatine- I tried 3 gram per day of ON but stopped as I am not ready for it yet. 8- For immediate depression uplifting- I took 1 or 2 magnesium threonate per day. Its temporary fix for depression lasting 24 hours. 9- For physical strength- I have joined iron protocol and copper protocol facebook groups- I take 30mg liposomal iron(irregulaarly), 1000mcg vitamin b12( regularly), 1mg copper(irregularly) and 15mg zinc(irregularly). I take them because my blood tests showed me deficient in them all. So consult with a physician first as you may not be deficient in all. 10- For sexual health- I take 100mg thiamine or 3mg/6mg tablets of boron once a week. I read good reviews for them and I can confirm they work. 11- Vitamin d- Avoid it unless you have a severe deficiency as you will already get it from a multivitamin tablet. Some subreddits for your recovery journey which I dont know why this website doesnot inform about. People should have knowledge of path which they have to walk otherwise it would be like throwing darts in dark. (Some will become lucky but many not)- 1- r/antipsychiatry (common people there are like common people on this website) 2- r/supplements ( dont pay attention to every advise many are rookies) 3- r/mentalhealth 4- r/mentalillness 5- r/magnesium 6- r/nutrition 7- r/psychiatry 8- r/schizophrenia 9- r/depression My advise on how to be able to post and discuss on subreddits for non tech newcomer people with low karma. Just follow all major subreddits of your country. First start giving positive flattering comments to responsive commentors amd original posters. You earned comment karma this way. Now post advise or help issue topics in subreddits which receive active replies. You earned post karma this way. I dont know why these websites tell to post good quality original content like some professional celebrity on subreddits for karma when a newcomer is unable to do this. I ommitted bluelight.org as in my opinion that website is just a group of drug addicts trying all sorts of drugs for whatever foolish reasons. Thankyou for going through my post, any feedback and advise is highly welcome from everyone here. 🙂

BDA "Bouffée Délirante Aïgue" that's the french for acute delirious puff... It's all started few weeks before the end of september... trying to deal with family issues, job problems and my extreme sensitivity and feeling of vulnerability above all. Running from place to place trying to find peace, and not understanding what was exactly happening with me, my spirit, my mind, or my body... could nt even define it clearly. The rupture of that "in between state" had finally stopped me and I had to leave everything behind me, house, job, 10 years of dedication, in hours... Every thing around me was so strange that I could nt believe nobody. Even my family members. Was like walking dead inside the movie of the end of my life... a nightmare+++ 6 months later, and after a 2 week hospitalisation and being on Risperdal, I can tell that all I needed and all I asked for from the middle of my nightmare was to be treated with the way they treat clients in "the open dialogue". For me, discoverind this method few weeks after being on meds and leaving hospital gave me hope and frustration at the same time. Frustration because even if I was intimatly conviced by the efficiency of that open dialogue method, no one is able to give that kind of care, here in France the system is different and the policy is quite rigid : hospital, meds, stabilisation... their goals upon yours. Nevertheless, psychosis has something to say about what s going wrong and maybe what should we look at before to understand what is broken and what will have to be, one day or another, to fix. But no, they first took what I was saying only as delusions.. that justify to go to the hospital for a while. Now I m doing my best to come off meds and find spaces for dialogue and may be new practioners out there who are on that finish open dialogue view and method.

It is hard to believe that I am writing Gloria’s Success Story. I always hoped and dreamed to write it, but after so many awful and traumatic months that turned to years, I seriously doubted that it would actually happen. I am very happy to be wrong. I do not plan to reiterate her story, so please find her full story/Introduction topic at this link. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16360-%E2%98%BC-glosmom-my-daughters-taper/?do=findComment&comment=622533 On February 27, 2023 it will be exactly 4 years from when she ‘jumped to zero.’ Her progress occurred in a similar fashion as many other Success Story’s have described….it was hell to taper, the hell got worse after stopping, and then the waves of hell and windows of hope kept occurring over and over for years until the waves got shorter and less severe and the windows lasted longer and showed more and more improvement. Gloria continues to have ‘tiny waves’ that last for only minutes and can be redirected. She can actually talk through these waves now and express what is frustrating her. For years she was nonverbal during these times or merely cried, screamed, raged, paced or on occasion throw stuff and take swings at me. Time has been the only answer to make these waves of hell become waves of minor irritation. Gloria is not quite fully healed (my ultimate goal is to get her back to a part-time job) but she is much closer than she has ever been. I know now her healing will continue and my beautiful Glo will be restored, if not fully to her happy smiling self, at least to something close to that. Her biggest leaps really kicked in at the start of year 3 and then amazingly just got a lot better in the last month or so… month 46 and 47 after jumping to zero. It is really quite amazing that it takes this long; but it simply does. As some of the ‘older members’ of this very supportive website know Glo has special needs. Her recovery, at first glance, might not seem relevant ‘to normal people.’ But I disagree. I think her suffering and journey has been exactly like ‘normal people’ and is an incredible testament to her strength and courage to keep on living, even though her understanding of what was occurring was very minimal. Gloria and I had many times where I wasn’t sure she and I would come out on the other side. Our lives were on hold for at least 6 years….time lost for both a Mother and a Daughter. But now she says often, “I am getting better every day, aren’t I Mom?” Makes me smile every time and I am so darn proud of her. She is truly a Warrior!! Her beautiful smile has returned! She is excited for trips, shopping, swimming, hot tubs, putt put, movies and being with family and friends. She has returned to her Day program and is starting to go out in the community with them again. She spends up to 4 and 5 hours at a time with her ‘companion/Best Buddy’ and enjoys getting her nails done, swimming, bowling and other activities. Her vocabulary is coming back (still not fully back) but she verbalizes she wants to get a job again ‘when her brain starts working right’ again 😊 She is now back to the dentist for regular checkups and goes back with the hygienist by herself. She is agreeable to go to the doctor (for check ups) and agrees to get her labs drawn if needed. Her dad and I plan to get her on a plane soon (she used to love to fly) to see if we can start taking her on longer trips. She does ride nicely however on our long trips to and from Florida to the beach, so that works fine too…. if she struggles with flying still. Fingers crossed on that adventure 😊 Unfortunately, she has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism recently, so we are going through that process. Autoimmune conditions run in my family (I have autoimmune thyroiditis…hypothyroidism) but she seems to be going the other way with hyperthyroidism. Hopefully whatever treatment she ends up needing won’t cause the nightmare to return. She does take Vit D, B12, L-carnitine, Iron and magnesium, L-threonate as supplements. She was not able to take any supplements for many years but has tolerated them better in this last year….and I think they are all helpful. She still has insomnia at times but overall she does sleep much better. I believe evening magnesium helps with that. I did not want to delay posting this story any longer as I have faith all will be well and I know others on this site always need a nugget of goodness to help them keep hanging in there! I want to thank the amazing @Altostrata for creating this site. Without it, I know things would have turned out differently for Glo and me. I appreciated it so much! @brassmonkey and @Gridley for your knowledgeable threads that helped me keep my cool and keep plodding along. I hope all of you are doing well! I also want to thank all those that stopped by my thread to offer advice and support. @rupa@RachelSusan @carefulprayerful @ShiningLight @manymoretodays @Rosetta @puthappinessfirst @FarmGirlWorks @Cocopuffz17 @nicolantana @RichT @powerback @Rhiannon @Armorall and many more… You are ALL ANGELS!! My words of wisdom to any who may care to listen. Just give the healing process time. Keep hanging on until the windows and wave cycle become more tolerable. They will, if you let them. Every human body is different so comparing oneself to others recovery schedule can be disappointing if you are taking longer than others did. Don’t compare your schedule to someone else’s. Gloria only took 1 antipsychotic for 3 months then spent 2 years and 1 month to taper off of it and it and then it took 4 YEARS to recover. Ridiculous….but it was/is her reality. Stay off all other drugs and pharmaceuticals. Looking for another pill or latest invention to solve a current issue will only complicate the problem, create chaos and increase the amount of time it takes to heal. When you are ready, eat a clean diet (no processed foods) and lift weights. I decided 2 years ago when Glo was starting to do better, to get my own health in order so that I can ‘outlive her’ and take care of her for as long as possible. Currently at the age of 57, I am the strongest and healthiest I have EVER been and that is due to….clean eating and weight lifting. It is the Fountain of Health. Jump in when you can…. May Strength and Peace find all of you who are suffering. You are not alone and you can get through this!! Glosmom

This article is from January of 2023 https://theconversation.com/antipsychotic-withdrawal-an-unrecognised-and-misdiagnosed-problem-196989#

Hello, Thank you for reading my introduction. I am desperate for the truth. 28 May 2013, I was prescribed Loxalate 10 mg and Risperdal 1 mg by a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist.I did not commence the administration of the medications with immediacy.An entire week or two weeks had passed until the initial tablets were administered.Loxalate 10 mg was administered every morning, and Risperdal 1 mg was administered every night.Anxiety symptoms were advancing while I was administering the Loxalate 10 mg and Risperdal 1 mg daily. I returned to the Senior Consultant Psychiatrist who increased the dose of the Risperdal 1 mg to 2 mg daily.0.5 mg Risperdal accompanied by the Loxalate 10 mg in the morning, 0.5 mg Risperdal administered at midday, and 1 mg Risperdal administered every night.I had approached several medical professionals with the side effects that I was experiencing and I was reassured that the side effects would all cease soon, the body and brain requiring a minimum of six months to adjust to the medication.Disappointingly, one of these medical professionals was a former friend of mine, a Registered Nurse, working in Psychiatry, someone who I thought I could trust wholeheartedly. I was opposed to prolonging the medication, though I thought that following the opinions of several medical professionals responding unanimously would be sensible, so I did.Two to three weeks prior to 1 October 2013, I decided to cold turkey. The medications were not beneficial for me, and I was literally, sick and tired of the sufferance.I had struggled with the side effects for too long. I should have never been prescribed these medications as I felt that they were unnecessary for me.I was coerced in to seeing a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, when I was neither a personal or societal menace. At the time, I was an Australian resident, claiming a Disability Support Pension for my psychiatric impairments, and unfortunately, the Australian Government has the last word on the health of Australian citizens who are disabled and living in moderate poverty. I could represent myself very well, though the predicament that I was in was of no relevance to anyone. I had been travelling between Australia and Austria as of 2011, when I fell in love with my long term partner who I met while in Australia. Social Security cancels pensions after six weeks of being overseas and having a Disability Support Pension as my sole financial support, I had to continue to travel between the two countries, despite our patience in waiting for assistance as of 2011. 2013 and Social Security in Australia assists us after giving us the runaround for two years.An agreement exists between Australia and Austria.If pensioners on a Disability Support Pension meet the medical requirements, they are indefinitely payable overseas.As per the request of Social Security, I met with a Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, despite feeling as though they were unnecessary for me to see as I was compos mentis. Whatever, it may increase the likelihood of my Disability Support Pension being passed, and it was only several documents that needed signing with my anamnesis, or so I thought.If I did not consent to daily medication and pursue seeing this Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, my documentation would not be filled.I felt that I had little to no options than to comply. Financial support is of no worth to us now, we are instead left to contemplate if I will ever recover to be the person that I was, be it swiftly or not so. No one knows what it is that I am experiencing, emotionally or neurologically, for they cannot relate to this bizarre and frightening experience. I know that I will never experience anything like it again in my lifetime, this is a real witch that I would never curse anyone with.It is agreed that I am no longer myself, so that is why I have sought my refuge here.I do however, need to make sense of what has happened to me.Chemical lobotomisation is the most accurate description I can provide, and the recounts of persons and research statistics that I find myself mousing over seem much less like deluded untruths. I am a realist, I know that the medication has damaged me, so I refuse to submit to medical professionals trying to blame it on a foreign illness, my Vegan diet, or to coerce myself in to believing that what I am experiencing are merely figments of my imagination.I do not thrive on false hope, though it may be all that I have.It seems so impossible that I could ever be the same person with the same life, after such trauma to the nervous system.How likely are the possibilities?All of these side effects manifested while I was administering the medications.Major side effects, presentAnhedonic symptomsI am experiencing a TOTAL absence of all emotions, negative and positive, the TOTAL inability to derive feelings or physiological responses from any stimulation, not a blunted, diminished, or numbed sense of these. I am DEAD. This is the most severe side effect and the side effect that is the most worrisome. Subconsciously, I am aware of what I would normally perceive as excitable, pleasurable, or stimulative. There are no emotional or physiological manifestations. I AM NOT DEPRESSED.Feelings of detachmentThe inability to connect emotionally with animals, my partner, music is HIGHLY ATYPICAL as these are all things that I should still be OBSESSED with, music has become repetitive sounds, I am also experiencing the inability to connect emotionally with environments, objects, people, I cannot connect emotionally with anything. Loss of personality. Also a loss of creativity and diminished intelligence.Sedated feelingHIGHLY ATYPICAL for me, prior to medication I was ACTIVE and would feel INTENSELY all of the time, particularly agitation or excitability. I am apathetic and have low motivation.Post-SSRI Sexual DysfunctionSelf diagnosed. TOTAL absence of libido, orgasm, stimulation. Mild Amnesia symptoms I experience difficulty remembering my life and self prior to the administration of medications.Toxic Encephalopathy?Depressed consciousness, loss of cognitive function, low energy (fatigue, lethargy, malaise), inability to concentrate, personality changes.All of these side effects manifested after the cold turkey and have ceased.Physiological side effects, ceasedAbdominal Discomfort AnxietyBruxism, Dental PainConstipation, DiarrheaExcessive, Increased SweatingInsomnia MigrainesNausea Side effects, administrationReference major side effects, present Made me a TOTALLY different person. I was a ZOMBIE. I only remember sleeping and watching TV.

Hey all, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in early 2018 and have gone through a few psyche drugs. Namely 3mg Risperidone and Depakote (the mg is escaping me).. i went through a few hospitalizations going down completely off the Depakote.. then switching completely to Abilify.. starting off at around 10mg i believe.. Now I'm bumped up to 30mg. I live a pretty boring life at home mostly... and because of this have always desired to get off of meds but have been very cautious about doing so and wanted to do so in a way that is healthy... I was curious for those taking abilify: Is it abnormal to be on a single dose (it's the only drug I'm on really..) of 30mg abilify? I believe it is and am starting to think that maybe it's not a good thing.. which makes me even more motivated to taper off .. at least to a healthier dose of it. If it is why would any doctor want to put me on 30? - Eli

When tapering, do you round to the nearest 100th decim[/size]al place? I'[/size]m getting for instance [/size]0.56902862332, etc. Do you round to 0.569? I'[/size]m trying to figure out how to taper off Risperdal. [/size] Please help![/size]

Hello everyone, first post here on the forum I was prescribed Risperdal for my schizoaffective disorder a little over a month ago and have decided to taper off of it for various reasons... Firstly taking it caused intrusive thoughts to occur which is a brand new symptom for me and never occurred before taking the meds... it feels like I may be diagnosed with OCD now because of the intrusive thoughts, and they are now way worse than any other symptom pertaining to my disorder. Withdrawal symptoms so far have been fatigue, insomnia, restlessness, more intrusive thoughts, low appetite, severe cognitive impairment, cant read or watch anything on tv, words are hard to put together, and really bad anxiety. So I started taking 1.5mg on 6/29 for about 4 weeks(the month of July) and decided to taper.. and I bought a scale for the tapering process.(no idea how to use it properly) By Aug 4th I tapered down rapidly to a quarter of a 3 mg pill (roughly .750mg) and have been taking that much since. -My question is since i was only taking for a month at 1.5mg is it necessary to draw it out still for many more weeks or is a shorter taper recommended? If i do the 10% method it will take me many more months of being on the drug to finally quit it which doesnt seem logical to do considering my length of time on it. Unfortunately being on the Risperdal was never beneficial to begin with, as it was a bad fit and caused unwanted intrusive/disorganized thoughts, so the longer I stay on it, the worse I get it feels in that regard, not including withdrawal from the drug itself.. and so its just hard to tell what is withdrawal symptom versus what are the unwanted side effects from the drug.. Thank you!

Hello everybody, i hope everyone is well. i would like to thank altostrata for this website and i also want to thank whoever volunteers, so thank you. anyways, i am almost fully recovered from the harmful effects of risperidone. I did not think i would recover, all in all it took 14 months to feel "normal." Here's a link of my first topic if you want more of a perspective on how i used to be: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12502-risperdalhater-my-risperdal-story-and-how-it-has-affected-my-life/#entry234527 I took risperidone for about 3 weeks, i recall starting off with 2mg doses daily then after a few days i complained about drowsiness and feeling weird so they lowered the dose to 1mg then after a few more days they worked their way up to 3mg daily and a long with that i received a long acting 7mg injection which can be taken once a month (as i recall). towards the end of me taking the drug i started feeling very very drowsy and i recall saying in a pathetic weak voice "I don't like this, i want to stop", so i dumped the risperidone in the trash and never took it again, i stopped cold turkey. the next week and a half or so i went through the worst experience of my life until that point. i had: - constant shakiness - could barely sleep - extreme sadness - seemingly a complete absence of happiness - serious muscular fatigue and weak blood flow these all disappeared after that week and a half except for the muscular fatigue and weak blood flow. the sadness/blah feeling got better at an extremely slow pace. libido died of course (pretty common with risperidone). thankfully i did not grow breasts or lactate like some of the victims of risperidone, perhaps they took it longer or took a higher dose. month 1-10 i was a fatigued wreck, people asked me why i looked so sad, i had to force my smiles etc. month 8-10 or so (as i recall) got slightly better but nothing big, just slight improvements. month 10.5 = more slight improvements in energy. nothing to be excited about though. month 11-14 is when the healing starting picking up its pace. i was hopeless at one point. i don't care if you've been on the drug for years, i still sincerely believe you will get better, just get off of the drug. taking this drug is not how a human being is supposed to live. so i started supplementing with niacin and my blood flow was better, i know because when i was at the gym i could actually get a muscle pump again, it wasn't that great but it was there. when someone is lifting weights, their blood is supposed to flow and the muscle that you're using will get filled with blood and become more vascular, i did not have this except for before i took risperidone. i've been lifting weights for 5 years, gym rat level; that being said, i could tell something was wrong when my blood flow became weak. don't worry about libido, it will return as long as you avoid those crap drugs. i personally put any drug in the category of "crap" whether it is prescribed by a doctor or not. i heard that when you show low libido, zinc can be a link.... yes i did try to make that rhyme. get your blood tested, i have heard that medicines can deplete certain vitamins/minerals. again, please get your blood tested. recovery won't happen overnight no matter how many methods you use to help yourself. supplements that helped me: Natural vitality calm magnesium: it's a powdered form of magnesium and has worked better than any magnesium i've tried. Melatonin __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ if you need help or advice, feel free to message me. at this point it has been 14 months and i am recovered, everything is back to normal. check your blood, supplement with what you need, eat good food, exercise. thanks for reading everyone.

Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.

Hello….I’m new to the group and have decided to taper my psychotropic meds. I’m currently on Risperdal .25mg. I cut it in half and became dizzy, nauseous, anxiety, some muscle movement. My second attempt was better but still some side effects. My question is is it inevitable that I will have some withdrawals on the final bit of meds or is the goal to have no withdrawl at all? I went back up because I don’t want to destabilize my nervous system. I’m also on Paxil 25mg ER, Lamictal 100mg which I have not touched yet. I appreciate any help I can get here. Thanks

Hi, my name is Roberto! You can call me Rob. I'm 23 and I'm from Venezuela. :'3 Sorry for my English! I started with this psychiatrist in late September and since day one she told me that I had to take risperdal 2 mg and carbamazepine 200 mg (the first one to organize my ideas and get a better sleep, the second one to stabilize my mood)... I started to take them in early October and then around early November she dropped me the Risperdal to 1 mg because I was feeling extremely exhausted . The side effects were hurting me a lot ( problems with my memory & libido, apathy , low energy, feelings of slowness) and since I was taking the meds for only one month I thought that quitting cold turkey both of them wasn't going to destroy me! I was wrong... I lasted 7 days cold turkey, the shivers and suicidal thoughts were heavy! This time I had to take Risperdal/Risperidone 3mg and Carbomazepine 400 mg( day and night) and seeing more mg really hurt me! TnT My psychiatrist doesn't want me to stop taking them, but I want to stop... Just that I don't know how! I was thinking in going 2.50 mg of Risperdal and then 2 weeks after 2 mg then 2 wks 1.50 then 2 weeks and take 1 mg until I get to 0... But is that too fast??? I'm feeling slow, emotionless, struggling with my memory,really afraid of all the plans that I had planned and that now were sabotaged! 😢 I want my life back!!! I want my spark!!!! I want my creativity! Please, help me!!! I send you a huge hug for reading my story!

just want to thank everyone here who posts. I am managing my daughter's withdrawal. She doesn't speak much so i have to gauge her withdrawal by her eating and sleeping habits as well as when we 'see her old personality' show up for a few minutes a day. When she can concentrate on a video or a movie, play Uno, or listen to her spotify.....we know she is feeling better. THe tapering is so slow and i want her off this med, but watching her body is my only key. It is an amazing process to see this sweet child who has no idea why this is happening, go through this process. Those of you who can speak and share are my light. Peace

Link to father's topic: paranoidandroid Hello everyone, Iv'e actually been looking at this site for quite a while now to get me through and decided to make an account now I feel in a slightly better place to do so. Currently I'd just like peoples opinions on my situation.. do you think I'll ever fully recover? My history in the signature sums it up quite concisely so if you want to ask any questions please do. I believe I will but I just want to hear it from other people, as you may know this can be a lonely place to be. I wasn't aware for all this time how damaging these drugs are and assumed my visual snow and DP was just related to anxiety. But now I have no doubt in my mind they caused these symptoms. I may not go back to exactly how I was 6 years ago, which is upsetting, but as long as going forward I'll be able to make a better reality for myself, then I think I'll be okay. I'd also be very interested in what people think of my diet and if you think I should refine it in any way.