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My first experience with these drugs was back in 2021 with my first psychiatrist. I was put on topiramate and Brintellix. No problem getting off of them when i felt like i needed to. He let me speak for a good hour or more. Spoke to a neurologist in late 2022 because i developed brain heating in response to frustration. He didn't even let me speak at times. Haldol + Neuleptil seemed to work at first but then noticed they were just putting me to sleep. Not the cure i needed. Had 4 days of akathesia after being suggested to drink heavy alcohol while the drug was still circulating ( I thought it didn't because the last cycle before the occurrence i have took the day before ). Went to another psychiatrist, and after a " Careful check " of 5 minutes i was told i'm depressed and i should take Cipralex 20 mg ( 10 drops at first upping the dose by 2 till i reach 20 ), Depakin 250 mg ( 2 envelopes ) and 1 Quetiapine 100 mg for the night. The reasoning was that supposedly Cipralex would make me feel euphoric and Depakin and Quetiapine would have me stabilized. He told me that this stuff doesn't have side effects and it's " Light ". After the first week i felt my depression worsened to a point i never had reached before. Plus i had eye pain, blurred vision, diarrhea, cognitive malfunctions, couldn't think and speak properly, heavy depersonalisation and derealization, feeling like i had a flu, gained weight, ate more, and problems with erections/orgasms. Psychiatrist told me it was my depression coming back. I asked him if those things are supposed to make me feel better why would that be the case and why have i never felt this way prior to the " Medication ". I was left on read. Looked up on internet and started reading about the millions of horror stories related to antidepressants and such. My friend had my same exact symptoms, including the eye pain that was confirmed by my eye doctor to be brought in by the antidepressant ( He asked me if I'm taking them even before i could say anything ). In a week i knew more than he does ( Implying he doesn't know what he's doing, which i heavily doubt ). Since i intuitively knew i was poisoning my body, even before i searched on Google, i let go of his " Trust me "s and tapered off everything in 1 week: Cipralex from 20 drops to 10 for 2 days, then 5 for 2 other days, As for Depakin took 1 envelope in the last 3 days of that week and cut quetiapine completely in the other half of the week. I was told to take Cipralex at 2pm, Depakin at 8pm and Quetiapine at 10pm. In total, i took 3 weeks and a half of everything, including taper, more or less. The first week was more or less fine. However, the withdrawal symptoms started to kick in after then. Astonishingly high levels of depression, nightmares in which i would feel extremely depressed ( Didn't even know something like that could happen, aswell as such levels of depression ), stopped sleeping, would have 5 minutes of half a sleep and wake up panicky, and quickly developed into high anxiety/arousal. Can't feel emotions like i did, hardly can laugh and everything, i'm more uninhibited because i'm searching for those chemicals i lost and can't find them, and when i try and remember something or something really emotional hits me i can barely cry and the rest of the feeling mutates into yet another panicky feeling. I just know this is farmacological as much as i knew akathesia was. I'm starting to develop some tremors, too. Several important occasions were ruined for me because i was either too ill to go or i would get almost a panic attack because i wanted to go home, where i had no rest anyway. I'm smoking 10 to 15 cigs a day just to try and feel something/calm the anxiety with not so good results, and i was never a heavy smoker. I went there for my akathesia and he told me if i didn't take my new cure i would still have akathesia, which i strongly doubt. I feel like akathesia is next door again now, really, because i stared pacing again, not at that level, for now. I spoke with the psychiatrist again and i told him all about this. He said it's all about me and what i had prior to the medication, didn't really make sense through the whole thing and could hardly hear what he was hastily saying, didn't seem to know what ssri means and he told me that " SSRIs boost serotonin ", which is not true, even implying depression has anything to do with serotonin and it's about a chemical imbalance which actually seems like these things gave me. I basically told him he should work on his ego and that he doesn't know anything about what he prescribes and he's comparable to an angel of death. He told me there is no such thing as withdrawal, you can't get hooked on antidepressants, avoided the " Why am i getting worse if that's my depression " question. He admitted to have given me a horse dosage/cure. He says this stuff doesn't change anything in the brain even tho the meaning of ssri literally points to the opposite direction of that claim. I also asked him if they don't change anything what's the point of taking them in the long run. Again, no answer. He said i'm going against " Science " ( More like a cult ). I also have him recorded. Max i could do was review him 1 star and possibly sue him. Anyway, i didn't tell him i already tapered off, and he gave me a 2 week taper, obviously. All of this got so bad i got suicidal thoughts and i had to take quetiapine again, and that's all i take, after trying xan for 2 days and it was doing nothing except giving me itches, had no trouble stopping it fortunately. Still feeling bad and nothing like before the cycle. Still can hardly concentrate and everything. Everything still overwhelms me sensory wise but i have little to no emotions. Got a little bit of cognition back again. I developed hard tinnitus. I had a dream in which i felt the dissociation it gives me. I'm taking it one before bed and one or two throughout the day, split. Its sleeping effects are fading and i'm having windows and waves. I'm feeling new bad sensations everyday but quetiapine keeps me from getting too low, for now. It seems like my body is asking for more except when in windows, in which i feel empty but a bit more chill. What do i do ? What's happening ? Is it the deadly cocktail that was given to me and i tapered off too quickly ? What am i withdrawing from ? Is it the haldol + neuleptil even ? Should i go back to antidepressants ? I have no intention to take any other neurotoxin whatsoever. Only taking quetiapine makes everything seem flat but i don't wanna take antidepressants that make me more depressed again.

2013 - 50mg Zoloft 2016 - increase to 150mg Zoloft 2016 - Lamictal in addition to Zoloft 2018 - Serequel in addition to Zoloft 2019 - 5mg Abilify in addition to Zoloft 2022 - tapered off Zoloft decrease of 25mg per week over 6 weeks and then tapered off Abilify 5mg over 2 weeks. It has been 4 weeks since my last dose of Zoloft and 2 weeks since last dose of Abilify. I had no withdrawal symptoms until 4 days ago. For the last 4 days, I have had severe anxiety that is constant and will not go away. The anxiety has contributed to difficulty sleeping as well. I tapered under the supervision and guidance of my doctor. Is this anxiety a withdrawal symptom? Is this a relapse? Should I reinstate? Reinstate at a low dose? 25mg or 50mg reinstate? Is there any hope for not reinstating? I don't know what to do...I'm so scared...I had no idea coming off the meds was going to be this hard. Please help!

I cold turkey Seroquel 300mg for 3 weeks then reinstated 100 mg again because the withdrawal was too hard nausea and anxiety really bad. Its been 2 weeks sinceI dropped to 75 mg still have w/d.how long don theses last

Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.

Hi everyone, I am hoping to help others and find support as I struggle through prolonged effexor withdrawal. Looking back, I can see so clearly how the nightmare roller coaster ride with medications happened to me. While living in the middle of it, however, it took me a long time to connect the dots and jump off that crazy ride!. And unfortunately, I am paying big time with my health. I am a 34 year old previously very healthy woman. It all started in 2006 with xanax and ambien. I was about 3 weeks away from finals week in professional school when my dad passed away. Dealing with the grief from that and the pressure to continue performing well and passing all my finals in professional school led to bad anxiety and insomnia. I saw a doctor at the health clinic on campus and was given xanax and ambien. At the time, I thought these medications were great! Finally I was sleeping and felt calm. I ended up using them off and on throughout the remainder of school until I graduated in 2007. A few months went by, and then I entered the work force in my new career. This, too, was a very stressful time and I developed insomnia again. I saw a doctor and mentioned the medications that had helped in the past, and with no hesitation was given a presciption for xanax and ambien. I continued to take these medications off and on, and over time needed to increase the doses. I started developing rebound anxiety and insomnia, which got really bad in 2011. At the time, I didn't realize what was happening- I thought I just wasn't coping with life well, and couldn't understand why. I went back to my general practitioner, and she said I had a severe anxiety problem and needed an SSRI. I was desperate to feel normal again and trusted my doctor completely, and readily accepted her prescription for Zoloft (after she assured me the medication was perfectly safe). I picked up the medication, and after reading the side effect list, became very concerned and called my doctor. She said "you shouldn't read that list, now you are sure to develop every side effect on it, because most of those are in peoples heads"). I felt reassured by this and started the medication. Well, I had pretty much every side effect on the list. I won't bother to describe them, we've all been there. I told my doctor what was happening, she said to stick it out. Well, after 2 weeks of pure hell, I stopped the medication. Believe it or not, I then went through withdrawal from that 2 weeks of Zoloft. I developed paresthesia, among many other things, and went to my doctor. She said paresthesia is caused by anxiety, and that this proves I need daily anxiety medication. Of course I believed her, I was so vulvernable and physically sick at the time. She proceeded to put me on and off lexapro, mirtazapine, clonazepam, lorazepam, among others. Every time I started a new med the paresthesia went away within a day or two, but the medication side effects would be unbearable. This is when it started to dawn on me that the paresthesia wasn't anxiety, but was drug withdrawal, as I was recognizing a pattern. My doctor said it wasn't possible, drug withdrawal from these types of meds doesn't exist. I argued that I knew in my heart the paresthesia wasn't caused by anxiety, and that if it's not drug related, it must be an illness of some time. She sent me off to a neurologist which led to about $8000 in tests (blood tests, MRI, ultrasound for the constant nausea, etc etc). All came back normal, at which point the neurologist stated, see- it's anxiety and has been the whole time. I felt very disheartened, accepted my diagnosis, and took her prescription for effexor. I told her that every single medication made me terribly sick, and that I believed the meds and withdrawal from them are what had given me so many problems, and that I was very concerned about taking effexor. She assured me the meds had caused no harm, and that effexor is a wonderful medication, and very safe. She said if I didn't like it, we would stop it, no problem. Silly me started swollowing the pills like a good little sheep. Well, within 2 days the paresthesia was gone. I took the medication for about 2 months and told the neurologist I wanted to discontinue it, as it was causing side effects, and my reason for taking it (paresthesia) had resolved. She told me to take one capsule every other day for a week then discontinue it. I followed her instructions and the withdrawal was out of this world. I had never been so sick in my entire life. After doing some research on line, I stumbled across a web site (probably this one) which explained how to taper effexor slowly. I quickly re-started the medication, and after a week or so, began to slowly wean myself off over 2 months. I had only ever been on the lowest dose of 37.5 mg and thought this would be sufficient. Well, I still experienced withdrawal- slightly more tolerable, but still hellish, and also developed paresthesia again. After about 2 months of dealing with this, I decided to re-instate and taper again over an even longer period. So, I started my third and final taper from effexor in October 2013, and finished in March 2014. Even after such a low dose, and a fairly lengthy taper, I suffered withdrawal. It lasted about 3 months, then I had a period of ~2 months where I was mostly normal, then I got slammed again with severe protracted withdrawal in August/September 2014. So, I have been taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), and praying that this all eventually goes away. The most troublesome thing occurring for me right now, is that I feel as though I have fibromyalgia. I wake up each morning with pain at the base of my skull, and basically all over my body. My eyes are constantly burning and painful. My feet cramp up randomly. I also have severe digestive issues.These have been relentless for about 3 months now. These are things I had never experienced before my roller coaster med ride. I am very worried that these things are permanent. From what I have read, fibromyalgia never goes away. I just don't know if I have real fibromyalgia, or withdrawal-induced fibromyalgia. I am scared that I will have to live the rest of my life in pain and with bad tummy troubles. I am currently seeing a GI doctor and will have endoscopy soon (probably another big waste of money, will probably come back normal just like every other test). I just don't know what else to do. I take no meds, eat very healthy, and force myself to exercise almost daily. The weird thing is, when it comes to the pain- the more sleep I get, the worse I feel. Makes no sense to me! Anyhow, that is my story. I wish I had stopped after my first bad reaction to a drug, I would probably be recovered by now. If I had only known then what I know now! Sorry for the lengthy message. Any input or suggestions is much appreciated. Even if someone can just let me know the pain and stomach issues eventually went away for them, that would give me some hope. Thanks all, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this, more than you'll ever know!

DESPERATE: How a normal person lie for antidepressants and was ruined tl;dr: A burned-out normal person thought antidepressants could be performance enhancer so she lied to doc that she was depressed. She was treated as GAD and MDD because she had side effects and reached a point that with drugs she couldn't function. She was eventually honest with her doctor and is in the process of withdrawing. She felt very bad, anxious and sleepless because of the withdrawal symptoms, and deeply desperate and regretful. She has realized that she has made terrible mistakes and is guilty. She needs hope/support/encouragement that taking time she will be back to normal. From 2020 to 2021/05 I was a workaholic and didn't have a schedule at all. I just woke up and drank coffee, forced myself to work, and sleep at the point I could not work anymore, ate at the point I felt hungry. So going to bed in the morning and having lunch at 3 am was normal for me at that year. I feel so regretful, I thought I was young and healthy, so I should work as hard as I could regardless of my health. So after a year self burning, I was completely retarded. I couldn't sleep anymore. My heart was pounding when I tried to sleep, and it took me hours to fall asleep. However, besides the sleep problem, I was functioning normally. I still finished work and hung out with my friends. Just my sleep was completely ruined, which is not surprising given a year's messed up. However, even at that point, I was still thinking about performance enhancements. If I was a little bit reasonable, I should pick an antidepressant that helps with sleep, a calmer one. But I was so crazy, I picked venlafaxine which is known for activating and notorious for increasing heart rate and worsening sleep. I don't know what was wrong with me at that point, maybe I was confused by the devil, I neglected all of the venlafaxine's side effects. I must have read about its side effects somewhere but my mind refused to accept or believe it. So I went to a walk-in clinic, and lie to the doctor that I had venlafaxine before, and I had a generalized anxiety disorder. The doctor believed me and started treating me as GAD. As I said, venlafaxine has notorious side effects that will make heart racing and worsen sleep. I didn't realize that, and the doctor ironically didn't realize that either. After taking venlafaxine, I had more and more frequent heart racing and worse sleep. The doctor thought it was my GAD got worse, and he increased the dosage of A and benzo for sleep, which only made things worse. Eventually he gave me rexulti, the antipsychotic. Ironically my racing heart recovered after having rexulti. I was so happy, I thought I was cured. So I went back to work. However my sleep was so bad that I always felt tired. So I saw a psychiatrist, and told her about the sleep problem and of course the lie about having GAD. She prescripted me mirtazapine 30mg before bedtime. I stopped mirtazapine in November because it made me gain 30 lbs. So from August to December(November) I was on 225mg of venlafaxine and 30mg of mirtazapine. I was so fatigued everyday but forced myself to work because I wanted to achieve something. It was so dark during these months. My neurosystem and brain have already been messed up by so many drugs, but I believed I was fine and cured and stable, and of course, I was not. My only mental support was a promise with my friend that after December we would go on a trip, a long relaxing trip. Every time I felt burned out I told myself, hold onto it; there is a trip waiting for you. And devastating thing happened: My friend went back to her home country in December and January. I didn't realize it until my work was done. I suddenly realized that the trip was gone. I lost the only hope and good thing which kept me going and not falling apart for months. My mental health was totally destroyed at that point. I shouldn't be so desperate and burned out, but after months of abusive use of drugs my brain and neuro system were completely messed up. I would say, if I didn't take these antidepressants for months I wouldn't have that mental meltdown in December. I was sent to the emergency in December. There they gave me more benzos, and the psychiatrist increased my venlafaxine from 225mg to 300mg. He also gave me another antidepressant bupropion. bupropion was another super activating drug, and wasn't helping my mental health at all. My mental health issue got better after spending time with my other friends, and bupropion caused a lot of panic attacks, sleep problems and racing hearts. How do I know they are directly caused by bupropion? because these symptoms went away after I cold turkeyed bupropion. That was a point when I realized psychiatrists are not so reliable: The psychiatrist who gave me bupropion insisted that my anxiety, panic attacks , racing heart and worsen sleep were caused by my worsen GAD, because according to their "guildline", bupropion is supposed to help with anxiety. However this time I know for sure bupropion was causing these problems because they went away after I stopped bupropion for a short amount of days. Also my sleep got worse and worse in 2022. I could only slept for a few hours, and the sleep was bad, it didn't recharge me. I was just a dead body walking. Yea I was working **** hard and that was just by my strong spirit. I was so tired these days and it was abnormal tiredness, more like restlessness. I was so so so tired, but I couldn't nap. My heart was pounding so loudly whenever I tried to nap. And of course my heart was pounding at bedtime, and my doctor just gave me more benzo, what a shame! Remind you that by May 2022 I have been taking venlafaxine for a year on a high dosage, and venlafaxine is a strong activator and is notorious for raising heart beat and causing anxiety even for really depressed ppl. I, a healthy person, have been on it for a year, and by May 2022 I have almost reached my limit. Finally my family doctor suspected that venlafaxine is not suitable for me. So he switched me to escitalopram. So in June, July and August I was taking escitalopram. My sleep was still bad, and I became even more tired during the day. And I had brain fog all the time, ironically I was still taking driving lessons. It's so dangerous for me to drive and I know it. I failed tests for other reasons, and now I realize they might be a warning from god. Test center ppl didn't know I was dangerous driving, but they still failed me. This must be a sign from god, warning me that I am on the wrong path. Brain fog, fatigue, bad sleep, my family doctor thought it was my depression that went worse. So he increased the dosage of D to 20mg(the max) and rexulti to 3mg. By the end of July, my work became intense. I was fatigued and foggy, but I have to work. I worked **** hard again under tons of pressure, with a foggy brain and fatigue. That week was so bad that I had really bad headache. I guess I was really on the edge of falling apart by then. The week after that I had the worst panic attack and sleeplessness. I lost my sleep completely, I became so fatigued that I couldn't function in the day. If in July the fatigue and fog were something I could still live with, by the end of August that became something that I couldn't live with because I couldn't function at all. went to the emergency again, and they gave me Seroquel, another antipsychotic. This is the med that kept me sleeping all day in September. But no one told me that. I figured it out after I stopped it. Oh I wasn't working since August because I cannot. And brain fog is making me crazy. I didn't have the fog when I was on venlafaxine, so I switched back to venlafaxine. The fog went away, but my racing heart and bad sleep came back. When I was standing , my heart rate was 120. So my family doctor switched me to trintellix, the one I.am taking and tapering right now. After switching to trintellix my heart rate became normal again. But still I was so fatigue and sometimes foggy. I wasn't able to sit still and watch a movie even. I began to realize something was wrong. For the first time, I was honest to my doctor and everyone around me. I told them at the beginning there was nothing wrong with me, I lied for antidepressants just for enhancing performance. My doctor cold turkeryed rexulti and Seroquel six weeks ago and I am still suffering from its withdrawal symptoms: bad sleep, anxiety, brain fog. This week my doctor asked me to taper trintellix. I have been taking 5 mg for three days and could feel the anxiety is worsen, so is my sleep. But at this point I really don't care about my feeling anymore. I just want these poison to get out of body ASAP and give my body time to recover back to normal. I was so regretful that I lied, I was stupid and greedy. I am in desperate everyday that there has been permanent damage to my brain and I will never become a normal person again. PLEASE give me some support/encouragement/hope that I will be back to normal. PLEASE feel free to blame me for being so stupid. I feel lonely, helpless and desperate.

Hi i am 42 years old and i want to share my story about psychiatric meds. On october 2007 i had burn out and became depressed and had panic attacks. This time around i had stressed live i guess. New relationship, new job.... I was put on Paroxat(paxil) 30mg. After 4 months it got better and i was quite happy for 5 years. I started to wean off Paxil starting with 20mg and last year 10mg. When i stopped it on 2013 i got strange neuropatic pain in my legs and depression, anxiety came back. After that time my life till now was hell. 2013 i was put every month for 6 months on different ads last i remember was Wellbutrin and Effexor. In 2013 december i decided to CT both. I didnt know about CT. Again physical pain was to much for me . So i was placed in 2014 In psych ward and in one month i was released in one month with Cymbalta 60mg, Seroquel 75mg and Lamictal 150mg. Next two years till october 2016 i was in pain everyday. I decided to quit again every meds. It was hell and till today still is. My symptoms when i quit everything: 1 year: Burning skin for 1 year No sleep for days 2 year: I couldnt feel my legs for 6 months Head presure every day for 3 hrs till last year 2022 3 year: Body pain pressure till last year 2022. 4 year: Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) 5 year: Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) 6 year Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) Present and also all years: Anxiety, depression, neuropathy in my feet, hands and head (pins and needles). Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) Fatigue Sometimes dereliazation and depersonalization. Sometimes intrusive thoughts Agoraphobia Last window i had was in february for one week. That week was only my fatigue and neurpatic pain and some anxiety. After that week i am in bad wave and i lost hope for everything. Anhedonia, anxiety, depersonalization, body pain. I am sorry i didnt start writing before about me. I checked this forum few times but didnt have courage to write. But now i am scared for my life and i lost all hope to get well. Any advice? Thanks Sorry for my bad english.

Hi guys - I think I recently hit a wall in my taper and it's slowly dawning on me how long this whole thing is gonna take. I think I speak for most people here when I say I never would've started this drug to begin with if I knew how awful getting off of it was going to be. I was put on 100 mg Quetiapine back in December during an inpatient stay, which was then increased to 200 mg a few weeks later. My psychiatrist assured me all the horrible side effects I was experiencing were simply temporary, and if I just gave it a few months I would start feeling all the great benefits of this med. Cut to early March and I'm still feeling just as awful and I finally decide to get off. My psych recommended a 25% weekly taper which seemed irresponsibly fast, so I texted an old friend of mine who had come down from 300 mg, and he said he had managed a rate of 5% a week. It was really upsetting to hear I was gonna be stuck on this drug for way longer than I had been on it to begin with, but I figured better late than never. Things had been going well until a couple days after my fourth jump to 165 mg when my sleep started getting weird. I started having constant dreams and I wasn’t getting as many hours as I used to. I’ve also been way more exhausted than usual and my brain fog has gone from bad to worse. I’m starting at a new job soon and I’m really worried this is gonna interfere, but I also don’t want to go any slower than I already am. Especially considering I was only on this drug for 2 ½ months to begin with, I thought this speed would be more than manageable, and it’s really frustrating to see that it might not be. For the time being, the symptoms are tolerable, so I’m gonna try to stick to my schedule, but I'm worried I set my expectations too high. I'd love to hear some stories from people who managed to get themselves off this awful drug. How fast did you go? I see a lot of conflicting information about how long this is supposed to take and I'd love to have a better idea of what it's gonna look like. Thanks!

I started tapering from seroquel 3 months ago. I was on 100mg once a day. I was dropped from 100mg to 50mg. I knew the first week or two was going to initially be pretty rough. The first two weeks I experienced insomnia, nausea, some fatigue, anxiety and some hot and cold sweats. I didn’t feel like it was too horrible because I still had enough energy to make it to work and rest in between. Also, I’m currently 3.5 years sober from opiates and compared to that I was ok with the initial physical withdrawals. After the two weeks the nausea was better, I could sleep just not more than 6 hours and would wake up at 4am and it took me an hour or two to go back to sleep. The first two months were up and down but it was manageable. This last month and for sure the last two weeks have been extremely hard. It started with very bad hot flashes at 4am to where my body felt like it was burning and was super hot to the touch and I would be soaked in sweat, it started happening throughout the day but not as bad, I started having bad headaches that last a long time (this current one has been there for over 24hrs), extreme fatigue to the point where I can wash maybe two dishes and have to sit down, if I got anywhere longer than an hour it takes a long nap and at least a day to recover. The one thing I’m worried about is my job. I’m a server at a sports bar and these last two weeks I’m completely gone after a 5 hours shift. I took two days off, worked a 5 hour shift and couldn’t function. I’ve had three days off after that and I’m in my second day and feel absolutely exhausted. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t be going through this 3 months into it and not dropping another dose yet. After I read some of the posts it sounds like it takes your body awhile to stabilize. I’m worried because of how exhausted I feel from my job and after I get off I feel so drained and don’t even know if I can push myself to go back. I used to be able to convince myself to keep going and I can’t even do that now. I have been doing a lot to help myself. Before tapering I went to a natropath a year ago and started on the auto immune protocol diet, progesterone because my labs were out of whack, curcumin phytosene for inflammation, vitamin D and C. I also am taking a vitamin b-12 injection every week due to my blood work and anemia. I also use the Thorne medi-clear shake everyday. I’ve been going to a massage therapist once a week, I’m doing light yoga everyday, I go on 5 min walks to get my body moving, I’m also going to trauma therapy right. My natropath recently re-checked my blood work two weeks ago and my magnesium was low and my adrenal glands weren’t functioning properly. She put me on magnesium G, omega 3’s, a-drenal and bSRT. I also do yoga nidra everyday and journal. I’m wondering if these symptoms are normal this far out after dropping a dose and what others have done for support or something that would help especially with the fatigue and just not being able to barely function especially at my job. Because I’m a server it’s fast paced and I usually walk 5-6 miles while I’m at work at a fast pace. I know going forward I need to taper slower and find a physician that’s willing to taper slower. Im currently on lamaictal 200mg and hopefully taper off of those after the seroquel. Any advice, websites, similar experiences and a taper plan that helped someone else would be appreciated.

Hello everyone, hope you are having a good day. My name is David i am 33years old and i have 17 year history of intermittent alcohol and drug abuse (cocaine, marihuana). I have also been using sertraline for 7 years (for my alcohol problem) which i stopped cold turkey in 2017 (without major issues). My current problem is that i was abusing Xanax for alcohol withdrawals last 2,5 years in high doses and from January 2022 daily in doses between 2-8mg. I stopped Xanax CT on 3rd May alongside with alcohol and cocaine for 6 weeks and reinstated on 30mg Valium under doctors (addiction specialist) supervision. She tappered me way too fast from 30mg to 0,5mg in 2.5months and i was in a terrible terrible shape left with 90+ symptoms. I also developed a paradoxical reaction to Valium and could not updosed so i decided to jump. After 3 days i was having visual halucinations and was totally disoriented on top of my 90 + symptoms, so my mother drove me to psych ward, because i was living alone and she was scared because i could't take careof myself any longer and lost almost 90 pounds in 5 months. I was in psych ward for 7 weeks where they have put me on 375mg of Seroquel and 750mg of depakote. They stabilised me and lot of my symptoms improved. I am nowhere near healed, i still still have about 20-30 ongoing symptoms. I was severely kindled by intermitent Xanax and alcohol usage and mostly with my reinstatement, where every dosage drop was harder than my CT experience. I am alcohol and drug free for 6+ months and benzofree 8+ weeks. I know now, that my only chance to get out of this mess and have a normal life is to abstain from all drugs and meds for the entire life. I am here for support, and tapering advices for meds that they have put me on psych ward. I am also offering support to anyone suffering from withdrawals or any other crisis. I hope we are all going to make it and have a normal life without such an undesrcibeable suffering. Stay strong.💪 (Sorry for my english it's not my first language)

Okay, I am a newbie to posting online and have spent the last 2 months searching Google since this happened to me, so please bear with me if this seems a bit long. I just want to get my story out there so people can see what has happened to me and offer any possible advice. In October 2017, My GP put me on Lamictal for mood and 22.5mg Restoril for sleep. I have been on Restoril since 11/2016 roughly. At the time I had a diagnosis of BP2. My pdoc at the time 2 weeks later switched me from Lamictal to Lithium by tapering the Lamictal from 150 mg to 100mg then 50mg every three days, he felt it would be more effective. I went up to a dose of 1200mg of Lithium but it made me sick so we moved down to 900mg, which seemed to be effective. He added Latuda 40mg but it made me irritable, so he switched that to 5mg Abilify in 12/2017, no taper from the Latuda. That combo seemed to work for a while but then I felt emotionally blunted and numb, so my pdoc then lowered the dose to 2.5mg. I felt better so I then (stupidly) quit CT the Abilify in May of this year. At the same time he also tapered me off of Lithium which I was scheduled to stop taking on 6/27 due to constant diarrhea. He then prescribed me Klonopin for anxiety. I started feeling too high from it and was feeling depressed, so about a week and a half later was put on Lexapro. The Lexapro made me feel extremely sleepy and out of it, took from 6/18/28-6/21/18, stopped taking. Pdoc then switched me to Effexor XR 37.5mg on 6/22/18, felt extremely depressed and anxious, did not take Klonopin or Valium. I had little to not appetite and was not very talkative. 6/25-6/28/18 Felt much lest depressed, better than I had in the past month, taking Klonopin as needed for anxiety. Stopped the Effexor today and the Lithium. Started Paxil 10mg the same day. At this point still taking 22.5mg Restoril. I noticed since I started the Lexapro and stopped, I had been getting 3-4 hours sleep and started to feel thirsty. When I started Paxil on 6/29, it was at night and I woke up several times and had stomach cramps. Still had a stomach ache the next morning and felt depressed. Depression and brain fog got worse over next few days, the dose was increased to 20mg after 5 days. I would wake up with sweats in the middle of the night so on 7/4 at the advice of my pdoc covering on-call doc I stopped the Paxil because I became suicidal. At this point as of 7/8 all I was on was on Restoril for sleep. I noticed tinnitus and felt extremely anxious and regular stress almost gave me a panic attack. At this point I was having the following symptoms: Tinnitus, anxiety, depression, insomnia, feeling thirsty and dehydrated, heart palpitations, brain fog, stress intolerance. Restoril seemed to have no effect now. Pdoc prescribed me Ativan for anxiety and I told him I want to taper off of Restoril since not working any more. He advised me to taper by taking 22.5mg 3 days, then 15mg 4 days, 7.5mg 3 days, then stop. He also prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep. I noticed the Ativan raised my heart rate. On 7/16, as I started to doze off I got a brain zap. Ever since this day I never get sleepy and have TOTAL insomnia, can never fall asleep on my own without some kind of medication. Noticed increased palpitations and severe dehydration. Hands and feet sweating. On 7/18 I had a tingling sensation in my brain and then blurred vision in my right eye. I also noticed a weird smell of some kind of chemical or paint on 7/19. On 7/21 they advised me to switch from Trazodone to Mirtazapine 7.5mg for sleep again and also take Lunesta 3mg if needed (prescribed by a sleep specialist). Still not getting sleep. Now at this point I notice blurred vision and loss of appetite. On 7/24 my pdoc wanted to put me on Zyprexa for sleep but I refused. He prescribed Lorazepam to take as needed for anxiety. On 7/25 high blood pressure, then after then went back down to normal. At this point I feel like I am dying. My sleep specialist tells me to try cognitive behavioral therapy. (Yeah right, Been there, done that!) 7/27-7/30 I had been taking Lunesta for sleep and Ativan for anxiety (pdoc switched again because Lorazepam was not working), but sleep doc said long taper not needed to get off Ativan, withdrawals are psychological and not physical nothing will happen to me if I do not sleep and I don’t have to worry about withdrawals. 7/31 had muscle jerks when going to bed. Lunesta stopped working so GP said try Hydroxyzine and then Trazadone again if Hydroxyzine doesn't work. Of course this did not work, so my pdoc put me on Ambien CR 6.25mg and 1500mg Depakote as a mood stabilizer. I tried this for a few days and still had trouble sleeping, getting 2-3 hours. GP Prescribed Seroquel for sleep. Took 8/16-8/17, 50mg and 25mg respectively, and did not sleep for more than 1-2 hours. Now I am seeing a NEW pdoc, she has me tapering off of the 50mg Seroquel, taking 10mg Doxepin at night, 5-15mg Melatonin as needed, I am still on the 1500mg Depakote. I have totally gotten off of then Ativan by tapering using diazepam. Each day I feel like I am worse than the day before. I am trying to figure out where I go from here.... stay on the current dose of Seroquel and try to reinstate the drug that may have caused the HORRIBLE withdrawals and total insomnia I am experiencing now (either Abilify or Paxil), or follow my new pdoc advice and taper the Seroquel and see how it goes (whilst adding the doxepin and Melatonin, breaking the keep it simple rule)? I am desperate and totally sleep deprived and getting worse by the day, which is why at this point I think she is just trying to get me to sleep. I even have an EEG next week to check for problems there. Thanks for reading. Kevie

i swore i would never take an snri again after what i went through on effexor, but he suggested i try cymbalta for the chronic pain and told me that generally there are less side effects/zaps than with effexor, so i said i would give it a try. my psychologist and his super decided that i have bipolar 2 not mdd, but the pdoc waved this away and didn’t even consider mood stabilizers. when my pdoc raised my dose of cymbalta after i expressed a wish to discontinue, and wrote in my record that i display “abnormal illness behaviors” (which just means i disagree with him?), i have decided to get off the ADs once and for all.

Hello, Thanks for adding me. I seek help/advice on how to proceed with my current situation. Around 52 months ago, I had an adverse/kindling reaction to a benzodiazepine. I acquired 100s of symptoms for that, which I still deal with. However, about a year off the benzodiazepine, in desperation, I went inpatient and was put on Seroquel and mirtazapine. I only stayed on the seroquel for a week and then stopped, but I have been on the mirtazapine since. About a year or so of being on mirtazapine, I started to taper because my intuition was telling me I needed to be drug-free to heal. I tapered from 15mg to around 8mg in about six months. I had 100s of symptoms during this time, and I don't know if it was still from the benzodiazepine, the mirtazapine taper, or a combination. When I got down to 7mg, I held for a year and a half, hoping to stabilize, but it never happened. I then tapered from 7mg down to 5.5mg. At 5.5mg, I was so desperate that I decided to try cold turkey to see what would happen. Within two days, I had severe pacing akathisia. My akathisia before going on mirtazapine was internal/mental. To this day, I don't know if the mirtazapine cold turkey was the cause of the akathisia or if the anti-psychotic trials in the psych ward caused it. I ended up reinstating mirtazapine after four days of pacing akathisia and returned to how I was previously. I did another long hold (1 year) at 5.5mg and then recently went down to 4.75mg by doing a daily micro taper. I don't know how to approach coming off the rest right now. I am experiencing interdose withdrawals. If I don't take Remeron for just one night, I have restless legs and histamine symptoms the next day. About 12 hours after taking the mirtazapine, my brain produces symptoms like clockwork. The symptoms I have now are not the same ones I had the first 1-3 years off benzodiazepines, so I am dealing with a mirtazapine withdrawal/adverse reactions, which are worse due to a sensitized system from the benzodiazepine cold turkey. I want to be very clear that I was never stable after the benzodiazepine cold turkey, and I know that I need to be drug-free. What should one do when unstable (and never will be), and how do they approach tapering when polydrugged? I understand the concept of slow tapering for stable people, but that does not work in my case. So I am stuck in a dilemma and have been for a while now. I plan on making a significant cut instead of microtapering every day and seeing how it affects me. If I develop pacing akathisia, I probably went too fast. I don't want to taper this drug for years when I am unstable. Is anyone in a similar situation that can relate, and how did you approach it? Thanks for your time

Hi everyone. So grateful to still be here to be here!! Been a long 30 years! Am hoping to titrate down from last 10 mg of Prozac using the liquid form. Does starting with the 1 mg a month make sense? See how it goes? Finish off 1 mg of Valium first? Yes, scared to let go of the last milligram of safety net. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Moments of regret for ever having gone done the med road, but so very ready to "heal" what only covered up....sound too familiar? Best wishes and thank you!! 1992 – 1999 Prozac 80 mg, Klonopin 4 mg, Buspar 1999 – 2000 Stop Prozac cold turkey 1 year. Hell. 4 mg Klonopin. 2000 – 2003 Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft. Cycle through each med. None work. Highest dosages. 2004 – Effexor, Klonopin, Zyprexa, Lamictal, Provigal, Sonata. Always high dosages. Don’t remember mgs…. 2005 – Klonopin, Lamictal, Seroquel, Anafranil, Luvox 2006 – Klonopin 4 - 6 mg, Prozac 120 mg 2009 – 2013 – Prozac 80 mg, Kononpin 1 mg (Titrate from 120 mg to 80, and 4 mg to 2 mg) 2013 – 2019– Prozac 30 mg, Klonopin 1 mg (Titrate from 80 mg to 30 and 2 mg to 1 mg) 2019 – Ashton Protocol. Convert Klonopin to 20 mg Valium 2021 – Valium 1 mg. Titrate Prozac 15 mg to 10 mg in 2 months. HELL. TOO FAST.

Greetings, hope this is the right spot for this. I have been a "patient"since I was in college, am 62 next week. Had some suicidal thoughts around 2015 and went to Hope House. Was diagnosed with Bipolar and put on Lithium and Hydroxizine. Things progressed and was put on Geodon, Seroquel and Lorazepam. So I was taking 5 meds and was super unhappy with that, especially as I felt no benefit from all except the Lorazepam which was very helpful for anxiety. I went to a new psych nurse and she said Lorazepam causes dementia, so she took me off CT. Had some rebound anxiety and eventually learned to live with it. Did deep breathing and yoga and tried to reduce my stress level, so came off that. The Lithium I felt was toxic and useless so just decided to go off that. Nobody ever asked why, I just told them I don't take that anymore. No questions as to why. No withdrawal from that. Now we get to Geodon. I was taken off due to suspected EPS and had a horrible time. Insomnia, migranes, terrible three months, went back on. Two years later talked to doc and he said take one and the next day don't take one(I see this is a common thread) and after a week you will be off. This resulted in terrible insomnia and I couldn't function. I see insomnia talked about but if you really haven't slept the night before how can you function the day after? I can't! So I have been researching tapers and there is a lot of good info about it. My first month I made the mistake of doing a 20 mg Geodon and 10 mg the next which I know now does not work. Had terrible insomnia on the nights I did 10 mg so that was a clue! So I am doing 17.5 mg Geodon now for this month and just got my scale so I can do accurate doses. So far on the micotaper I have noticed hot flashes, a little tearfullness, and an increase in some feelings of happiness.

Hi all I am new here, my name is Michala. I’m 24. I was first put on antidepressants and sleep aides when I was 9 following a pretty severe car accident. Came off them when I was 12 and developed OCD. I was medication free until 2018. To make a long story short, I have been on seroquel 300mg for going on 4 years for insomnia, and was on saphris 5mg for insomnia for about 10 months and had to quit cold turkey due to heart issues. Since December 22, I have not known peace. My anxiety is a 10/10, I now have frequent panic attacks, internal jitteriness, tremors, headaches, severe insomnia, depression, and my OCD symptoms are out of control. January 4th my psychiatrist put me on 10mg prozac with 5mg zyprexa, along with my 300mg seroquel. Turns out in mildly allergic to zyprexa and prozac was making me more suicidal. I came off both of those after being on them only 10 days. Now my psychiatrist wants to put me on 75mg effexor ER (for depression, anxiety, and ocd), along with 42mg of Caplyta* (for mood and sleep) and to stop the seroquel 300mg cold turkey. I am still feeling the massive effects of coming off saphris and still considering going inpatient and cannot handle any more. Does anybody have any insight as to what I should do? Cross taper? Go inpatient to get stabilized on new medication? Quit cold turkey and let the caplyta supplement the seroquel? Wait to see if the saphris withdrawal calms down and stay on just seroquel and cope? I’m at a loss here and my psychiatrist isn’t much help as he’s told me in the past that since i’m only on seroquel for sleep that I shouldn’t have any withdrawals, and that’s just a load of BS. I’ve been on seroquel for almost 4 years * From Wiki: Lumateperone is a butyrophenone atypical antipsychotic

I wasn't sure where to post this question - Moderators, please feel free to move it to the most appropriate forum. I started on a liquid formulation of Escitalopram on 1 Nov 2022. It is a suspension made by a compounding pharmacy since liquid Cipralex/Lexapro is not available in my country. Since starting the suspension, I have noticed that about 2 hours after taking the liquid, I develop akathisia. This lasts for about 4 hours after which I feel okay. Since I take this in the evening, it interferes with my sleep. I wanted to know whether I can move my dosage time to the morning and how best to do this? My initial thought was to do this slowly where I would take the dosage 15 min earlier everytime and then eventually be able to shift the dosage time. Does this sound practical? I think that slow 15-min increments would be best so thought I would shift by 15min, hold that dosage time for 2 days, then shift again, hold 2 days etc. Would this be slow enough to prevent a relative change in dosage-size? Thank you.

Ended taper of 50mg Seroquel Feb.9 2021. Currently tapering off 20 mg Lexapro, to be completed June 18 2021. Serious insomnia when off the Seroquel. Pushing on.

Hi - This is my first post. Here's my story - sorry it's so long! My daughter was put on Zoloft at age 10 for OCD. I believe now that her OCD was triggered by an infection (ala PANDAS) but have no proof of this. She did okay on Zoloft and it did help her OCD. However, over time it seemed to have an "activating" affect on her. For example, she started exhibiting ADHD symptoms that she never had before and had a terrible time sleeping. However, she was mostly okay. When puberty and COVID hit at the same time, she started showing signs of instability - cutting, suicidal ideation, terrible impulsive behaviors. I never thought the Zoloft could be behind it and the psychiatrists we saw never mentioned it. They just kept raising her Zoloft dose until eventually she was at the max dose. In retrospect, every time they raised her dose she would get crazier and crazier. She wasn't sleeping at all at one point and was leaving the house in the middle of the night to wander the streets (unbeknownst to us). A psychiatrist eventually added Intuniv which helped her sleep and made her more manageable but didn't really solve her underlying issues. About a year after this kind of crazy behavior started, she was hospitalized for SI and then spent the next seven months in and out of hospitals and RTCs. Psychiatrists kept adding more drugs and raising her dosages - until she was on high doses of Seroquel, Zoloft, Intuniv and Naltrexone. Her outpatient psychiatrist was wanting to raise her Zoloft dose to 250mg (above the max dose) which thankfully he never got a chance to do. During the last hospitalization, she was cheeking meds so they started crushing up her Zoloft and giving it to her in yogurt. She refused to take it that way because it made her mouth burn, so she essentially went off of Zoloft cold turkey. (Note that no one at the hospital told me this or even seemed to think this was a problem). After a week and a half of cold turkeying off of Zoloft, she was discharged - pumped full of anti-pyschotics they had given her as part of daily meds plus as multiple injections per day to keep her calm. Our beautiful girl was a zombie - she couldn't walk, she was incredibly irritable and barely functioning. BUT, she seemed better somehow - like less crazy/impulsive. We let her continue to not take Zoloft and let her cold turkey off of Seroquel and Naltrexone. Her outpatient psychiatrist seemed uncaring and said that once 48 hours passes, the Zoloft will be out of her system and she couldn't possibly be having withdrawal symptoms and didn't see an issue with cold turkeying off of anti-psychotics. Once the Zoloft was more out of her system, she couldn't stay awake so we started tapering her Intuniv which she's now completely off of. (her psychiatrist told us to just stop the Intuniv cold turkey which I fought against because if she missed even a dose she'd have horrible headaches. He grudgingly wrote an RX for her to taper). She's now been off of Zoloft for 8 weeks and all other meds for about 6 weeks. She is mostly relatively happy - going to school, hanging with friends, etc. She's been home 7 weeks which is longer by far than any time she's been home since the whole hospitalization hamster wheel started. She's still not 100% - she can get extremely angry and irritable very quickly, has a very hard time getting up in the morning and still has some weird impulses and I think has occasional SI. She doesn't have much interest in doing anything other than watching TV - although she'll go swimming or do things with friends if that's an option. (She's lost most of her friends at this point due to weird behavior and just being in institutions for so long). I know this story is pretty crazy - I honestly can't believe everything we've been through. I don't trust the psychiatric industry at all at this point and my biggest fear is that she'll be hospitalized again and be forced on meds again. I don't trust her psychiatrist to tell us the truth about what withdrawals are really like and how long we can expect it to last. Unfortunately, she seems to think everything that happened to her was totally okay and she doesn't buy into the idea that the meds were harming her. I guess I don't know for sure if the meds harmed her but I can fairly confidently say that I don't think they helped her at all (after the initial help for the OCD three years ago). What I'm seeking here is just info from anyone who has experienced something similar. Also, just want a place to vent. Question: do you think it's normal for her to still be very irritable 7 weeks later or maybe the irritability is not withdrawal related? Does anyone have experience with this type of withdrawals and how long did it last for you? Thanks.

Hi All! Just wanted to say I've been scouring this site for advice from people who have gone through tapering before, and have found the advice here invaluable. I wish I knew about it sooner because it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Here is my history: I had been an extremely anxious child, kind of a hypochondriac, and extremely sensitive. In 2000 when I was 15 years old I was diagnosed with major depression, and had some psychotic episodes (mostly paranoia). During this time, my parents gave me some of my dad's medications (I am not sure which ones) which may have exacerbated the situation. After two weeks, I started on 20 mg of Paxil and 25 mg of Seroquel in 2000. Tapered off of Seroquel quickly after a week or so, stayed on the 20 mg of Paxil until 2007. Cold turkey off of Paxil for 9 months - experienced a number of side effects - head zaps, mood swings, irrational behavior, hypomania. After 9 months, reinstated 20 mg of Paxil, was on 40 mg for a few weeks. Saw my Pdoc and she told me to go on 10 mg Paxil, 50 mg of Seroquel, and 250 mg of Depakote for my new bipolar diagnosis. I stayed on this until summer of 2014 when I tried weaning off of Paxil to 5mg. Within 2 or 3 months I started feeling hopeless and depressed even with the Seroquel and Depakote. Went to Pdoc, he told me my depression was returning, and so I reinstated to 10mg. In March of 2015, I switched from 10 mg of Paxil to 10 mg of Prozac by adding 10 mg of Prozac for 2 weeks, cutting down the Paxil to 5 mg in another two weeks, and then completely off the Paxil in another two weeks. I experienced some minor depression for a few days. I didn't know I was experiencing withdrawal at the time. In May of 2015, I weaned off the Depakote with a schedule from Pdoc from 250mg to 125 mg in two weeks, then off completely two weeks after that. I didn't experience any debilitating withdrawal symptoms with Depakote, except one day of diarrhea which could have also been food poisoning. On 9/9/15 I started tapering off of Seroquel from 50 mg to 25 mg which was my Pdoc's tapering schedule. The night of the cut, I immediately experienced insomnia and got a few hours of in and out sleep. After about 3 or 4 days I got a little bit more sleep and was feeling a lot sharper and less sluggish. I realized that the Seroquel was what was blunting my emotions and contributing to extreme apathy. I was also sleeping way too much and feeling groggy the next day. So when I went off of it, I felt amazing. After about 4 days, I cut the half into another half (12.5 mg), didn't get much sleep but still felt sharp, but experienced cold sweats. Some anxiety started to creep in as well. In my anxiety, I decided I wanted to get off completely, and so I didn't take it that night and had the worst insomnia I'd ever had. I slept for maybe 20 or 30 minutes. The next day I was having trouble regulating body temperature, had chills and sweats, and felt like all my nerve endings were raw and exposed. I reinstated to 12.5 mg and felt immediate relief in my withdrawal symptoms the next day. A couple of days on 12.5 mg wasn't cutting it, so I went back up to 25mg. I was beginning to feel extremely anxious and depressed in the morning, and had mini panic attacks during my lunch breaks at work. I decided to go back up to 35 mg, which is where I am now. 35 mg of Seroquel and 10 mg of Prozac. I am feeling pretty stable these past two days after reinstating the 35mg of Seroquel, still early morning disturbances and manageable levels of anxiety and depression in the morning. I usually feel much better by noon. I do still have dizziness and headaches as well. I am now 29 years old, have a 9-5 job, work out regularly (4-6 times a week), and am eating as well as I can. I am taking no supplements. This forum has been extremely helpful to me and was instrumental in my reinstating. I have often been too stubborn, thinking all my effort is going to waste, and end up suffering a lot. It is important to me to continue working and keep up with my social life and exercise. I know that it will contribute to my healing, along with prayer and knowing Jesus is beside me every step of the way. From the Slowness of Slow Tapers thread, I found a lot of encouragement to be patient and to hold until feeling stable. This is going to be a long and arduous journey, but I have hope that I will at least be on as little medication as possible, or none at all.

Hi all. My name is Paul. 36 years old. Been on psych meds since I was 16. Have just recently come to accept that these medications are truly poison. I'm now in the process of healing from a Mirtazipine taper. Been completely off for 16 days. This is hard. Not as hard as when my psych CT me off of Seroquel last summer and I ended up in the hospital, but the emotional Rollercoaster and histamine intolerance I've formed is just insane. I can't wait to see what life is like without meds. I've been on them since I was 16, truly feel like I wasted a lot of my life on these things. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself, getting away from social media like fb and twitter (another form of poison) but wanted to join a community to help me cope with what I'm dealing with. Thanks for having me.

Hey, everyone. Here's my introduction (I hope it's not too long): In 1994, at 19, I suffered panic attacks from being bullied in school and having cognitive errors in my thinking (perfectionism, negative self talk, etc.) My parents took me to a psychiatrist who told me I had a "chemical imbalance in my brain," prescribed me 80 mg of Prozac a day, and kicked me out the door. I received no therapy and from that day forward saw myself as a mental health patient. This diagnosis changed the course of my entire life. My Prozac took six weeks to kick in, and it brought with it a slew of side effects: generalized anxiety, hypervigilance (constant surveying the world and my body for signs of panic), stomach cramps, and irritable bowel syndrome. Like the proverbial boiling frog who doesn't notice the raising temperature, the side effects eased in to my life so slowly I thought they were a part of me and my "chemical imbalance." In essence I had a paradoxical reaction to the drug: it amplified my existing struggles but I had no idea my medication was the source. I was never told this was possible, nor was I told about the danger of trying to come off. The side effects made work outside the home, socializing, and dating extremely difficult because I was always afraid of the next wave of anxiety that would send me racing to the washroom. I watched my friends grow up and have careers, partners, and families, while I tried to buoy what was left of my self-esteem with self-help books and different therapists, none of who ever questioned the drug or the dosage. After two years of cognitive behavioral therapy to untwist the errors in my thinking, I tried coming off the drug under the supervision of my doctor in 2006 but the initial reduction of 20 mg every two weeks proved to be far too steep. When I reached zero I had a few days of bliss, then an absolute mental collapse. I developed akathisia and was unable to sit still and paced relentlessly and lost control of my emotions. I felt completely hollow and cried for no reason, all the while suffering from unspeakable anxiety. My parents debated admitting me to a hospital but was told that the doctors would check my medication levels then ask me to leave as there would be nothing they could do. I went to my psychiatrist who misdiagnosed my condition not as withdrawal but as depression and anxiety that the Prozac had been treating. Desperate not to lose my mind, I restarted the drug and lost another ten years to side effects. Two years ago I lowered my dose from 40 mg to 30 mg. Three days later I was to meet friends for dinner for as long as my anxiety would allow. I braced myself during the meal for the inevitable tsunami of mental anguish but what I felt instead was a mere ripple. I was stunned, then perplexed. When I realized what was happening and that the drug had been the cause, I burst into tears. Instead of racing home after the meal as I so often had in the past, my friends and I went to a movie. Over the past few months I've been easing off Prozac at 5 mg every six weeks. My quality of life improves with each reduction. My hypervigilance and anxiety all but vanished at 20 mg. At 15 mg I have become more social than I have ever been, and at 10 mg I feel like myself again - sort of. I've been on 10 mg of Prozac since May 9th, and I'm also on 50 mg of Seroquel. I want to get off the Prozac completely but I'm going to stay at 10 mg for at least three months until I know I'm stable. Though most of my anxiety is gone, I had a panic attack last week. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday over how much I've missed out on from the medication and cried through the whole thing. Naturally she was concerned that this might be a relapse of depression/anxiety, but I honestly feel better now than I ever did on the higher dose. So...that's me!

Hi, I am in crisis right now and desparate for help. I tapered off effexor 1 year ago and have had no psychiatric meds since. The past year has been rough with prolonged withdrawal and bouts of anxiety along with way, but for the past 3 months I have been doing very well (working a stressful job and handling it well, traveling, etc). For the past week, seemingly out of the blue, I am having severe, debilitating anxiety and insomnia. I also have odd physical senstations that I haven't experienced in quite this way before (odd nagging nausea-not the anxiety kind, but the flu kind; extreme muscle pain; periodic cramping of my hands and feet; a buzzing or tingling sensation in my arms and legs; weakness. I saw my doctor, who ran blood tests- everything is normal. I saw her before the anxiety started- at first, I just had the flu-like symptoms, then the anxiety hit. I don't know what to do....I am going to have to resign from my job (a well-established, successful career of 9 years). I aleady took a leave for 1 month 6 months ago when I was having a bout of bad withdrawal. I feel desperate for relief, and am so desperate that I would even go on meds again (although I swore they were the worst thing I ever did to myself and that I would never touch them again). Is there any chance this is still a delayed withdrawal? Please if anyone can offer me advice, I really need help right now. Thank-you.

Hiya everyone i was diagnosed with emotional unstable personality disorder back in 2011 and was put on quietipine and venlafaxine and they were slowly increased over the years. These medications completely changed who i was as a person i found i lost myself and they simply shut off all my emotions and feelings and i lived like a zombie who did nothing buy sleep for hours of a day and then sleep all night so i decided to come off them, i wanted to live again to feel again and to find who i am againd and now im currently 6 months into stopping all my meds. I was on 225 mg of venlafaxine and 200mg of quietipine . I have a feeling i have tampered too quickly but the thing is i really dont want to go back onto the medication. I started to tamper in july 2021 from both medications. i reduced by a bead on the venlafaxine every time i felt stable after a reduction. with the quietipine i used a pill cutter and reduced that way making a reduction everytime i felt stable. I did suffer withdrawal symptoms such as brain zaps, nausea, shakes, headaches, feeling anxious and hot and cold sweats. Fast forward to now and all them symptoms have gone away all except one the anxiety. Im frightened of everything even things i cant control I wake up every morning with tightness in my chest, im getting palpitations in my heart daily, i have this knot in my stomach that flips and does summer saults over the smallest things. I have ordered herbal tablets from holland and barrets such as ashwagandha and rhodiola as research shows that these seem to help. I really dont want to have to go back on the medication and reinstate as it makes me really angry, depressed, shuts off all my emotions and makes me like a zombie I feel like im scrambling for help as i dont like feeling scared, i feel like ive gone back to being a child in an unsafe situation and i can't take back the control Is there anything else i can do/take to get this under control .

Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.