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Hi, my name is daffa, Indonesian, 18 years old, the whole 17 years of my life living with stupid social phobia, then searched in google what the **** i was having, then it matched the symptom of social phobia, my uncle (i lived with him) , he just was a stupid traditional man who believed all the nonsense, something mental to him was utterly too hard to believe, so i moved to my parent house, seek psychiarrist, prescribes sertraline, not long, i tried exposure therapy, it cured the **** out. I cant understand why the **** the psychiatrist didnt suggest the therapy instead, after the exposure therapy, i got cured, then the ****in psychiatrist stoppes it cold turkey, then you know. **** happens, now a year gone by, every single thing is wonderful, its getting a lot better, it turned out that i have extraordinary intelligence, grateful for that. Oh yeah, i forgot to add that, i also prescribed olanzapine, cold turkey too 3mg, insomnia still present 4 am now in my nation

My introduction post for the forum.. short story I have been prescribed SSRIs since I was about 18/20 and now they are no longer helping me. The long story. I started on my antidepressant journey when I was around 18 or 20 years old (now 29), but I never recorded what brands I tried or the exact date of starting antidepressants. I sought out antidepressants as a way of dealing with depression and anxiety which emerged about a year or two prior. I attended counselling. Unsuccessful. This led me to the Dr and going on a mental health care plan to get bulk billed psychology and subsequently started taking SSRIs. I believe I tried Fluoxetine and the side effects scared me so much I needed to switch to something else. I ended up on Paroxetine as that gave less severe side effects. So going forward, Paroxetine was doing a good job of getting me 'functioning' as an adult. I got my first job at 20 years old, was getting over social anxiety and I generally started progressing enough to come out as Transgender and be treated for that as well. Unfortunately though some side effects of paroxetine never subsided, and as time went on I felt myself being affected by SADs every winter. This was combated with increased dosage of paroxetine. Since I am such a small human being, I didn't tolerate the increases well and it lead me to sleeping over 12-13 hours a day. I could barely wake up without falling back to sleep and was diagnosed with OSA. This is the paradox of Antidepressants. I ended up successfully reducing my dosages every spring and somehow I still managed to go to work, be a normie, save money.. Did the things I wanted to do. Then after around 8 or so years on Paroxetine, it finally pooped out. I had gone through some big life shifts not limited to moving house, having a sibling leave for overseas, and finishing up a uni degree after three years of somewhat stable routine (as much as you could get with covid). So I succumbed to a relapse in depression and since that time in 2021, my life has not been the same. Due to said intolerance of dosage increases, my doctor switched me to escitalopram. For about a month it improved my mood but then stopped working. Dosage increase. Same mood improvement then failure. New drug time! Venlafaxine. Oh boy! An SNRI! Started on a small dose then worked up to a bigger dose. Same thing.. Mood improved for a bit then dropped off and these stupid drugs aren't helping me! I was then referred to a psychiatrist. Convinced I have some sort of ADHD, because why else am I having all these problems and can't focus on a life path for myself? He said that he didn't believe I was ADHD.. That I am just affected by my anxiety which impacts decision making. He suggested back onto SSRIs since Paroxetine worked so well for me. So that lead to Sertraline.. The dreaded Zoloft. So right now, having been through the normal 'mood is good for a while' stage, time to go back into the familiar low mood phase. Okay. Dose increase. On to 75mg every other day. So now I am experiencing the wonderful side effects which I had forgotten about SSRIs while I was on Venlafaxine. They are: Stomach/gastroesophageal pain (is that an ulcer or GORD? No! It's just antidepressants!) Brain fog and being spaced out ie. Feeling like I'm one drink in without having consumed alcohol Diplopia Trouble waking up in the morning and/or waking up but feeling tired through the day Emotional blunting and anhedonia Mood swings Increased tinnitus No appetite at all And this is a new one: EXTREME ITCHINESS! (no it is not the dreaded drug rash, it is hives.. Wonderful itchy hives) So now with all this bullsh*t I have been through, I just really want a break from these meds. My life has scarcely moved on from where I was in 2021 when I relapsed. I am sick of the side effects and I'm sick of being on these bloody drugs. Obviously something deeper has affected me because I am no longer having success on antidepressants and the side effects are not encouraging me to stay on them. Well done if you read to the end! I have no reward for you. Or maybe the reward was the story we read along the way?

I am a guy in his beginning 40's with a long history of depression and sometimes OCD. My SSRI journey started in 2005. I was prescribed Paroxetine to handle my my depression and my OCD (secondary symptom of depression). Paroxetine was awful. I felt numbed, totally dead inside, with a little less anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Under this medication I have had massive depersonalisation and derealisation. After 6 months I quitted. The withdrawal symptoms were lasting 2 years off the medication. The tapering was initiated by my psychiatrist. Brain Zaps all the time...and some emotional problems I dont remember. But anxiety was high as well. The depression was hitting me extremly hard afterwards, the OCD disappeared thanks to psychotherapy. In 2009 I decided to go again with a SSRI because my symptoms of depression were getting severe and I have had a massive tinnitus. Starting with Sertraline was giving me the relief of my life. Everything went well within weeks and I was just a normal person. Side effects were normal sexual side effects, sweating and sometimes headache, but nothing of this was unbearable. Over the time libido was falling, but that was okay for in the exchange of being depression free. My psychiatrist told me that I can adjust my dose in dependence of the serverity of my depressive symptoms. All was going okay. I took Sertraline until the beginning of 2020. It stopped working from one day to another and I was falling into a big, black hole...the major depression itself was back. I need to pause my job as I was not able to work anymore. I reached out to a psychiatrist that put me instantly on Venlafaxine to test if I was sensible to SNRI. It was doing nothing to me. No mood lifting, just nothing. He permanently lifted the dosage because of this. At the end of 2021 I was in a clinic to gain new power and to treat my depression. Nothing on my medication changed. The depression was still there with full force. In 2022 I decided to search for another clinic. This was something like a day care clinic. That was helping me tremendous. I stayed there for 3 months until August of 2022. The depression was nearly gone but came back after the clinic. Still on Venlafaxine. After the clinic I have had problems to take my Venlafaxine as I was so forgetful. One day I have taken it, another I havent. And so on. While I was on Venlafaxine I had these symptoms: Brain fog & cognitive issues (concentration, focus, memory issues, but they where there before Venlafaxine maybe due to severe depression or Sertraline withdrawal) Lesser libido Now how it was going on: I have met my girlfriend in Oct 2022. Depression was blown away instantly. But I was still on Venlafaxine. Then I have received a letter from the old clinic that my qt time was horrible and I need to quit Venlafaxine directly cold turkey in December 2022. And then it was going like this: Quitted Venlafaxine cold turkey in December 2022 January to March: 3 months of totally feeling normal (except cognitive issues, memory, brain fog) March to May - above + mild ED, but libido was okay, slight signs of depression, heavy problems with my self-confidence May - July 2023 - broke up with my girlfriend (through possible slight anhedonia (cant remember), feeling little depressive) + above July 2023 - Within days...lights out. No emotions. But no depression. No libido. Full anhedonia. July 2023 - Started relationship with my girlfriend again Since July 2023 I suffer from (in sequence of their occurence): July: severe anhedonia (for two weeks without any other symptoms) light headache pressure in the head July to August: above + anxiety (was totally overwhelmed by the anhedonia, totally freaking out if this is my new normal me) heart pounding (due to anxiety maybe) August: above + some signs of OCD (obsessive thought about PSSD and my new normal me) had 3 or 4 times brain zaps while moving the head still hard anxiety which is sometimes hiding the anhedonia When anhedonia came back I freak out and get anxiety Derealization/Depersonalisation feelings when I am away from home (shopping with a lot of people around me, going for a dog walk where a lot of people are). It feels like I am overwhelmed by the amount of things to recognize. First I thought that my depression was relapsing. But it wasnt. I know my depression very good. And I never had anhedonia without other depressive symptoms. So my main symptom is anhedonia. My blood values are fine except for iron. I now take: iron supplement to fill the depots again fish oil 3000mg a day with vitamine E Magnesium L-Threanate once a day How it is going now: In the End July to August I have had clear windows in the evenings. My assumption is: I have taken my Pramipexole again (since months) because of my restless legs. Everytime after nearly excactly 24 hours I had a window. Maybe it has to do with the Pramipexole. I have taken it for only a week with 0,35mg (so no DAWS can occur). I don't take it anymore because I dont want to mess up my system more than necessary. But since then no big windows. Sometimes I do feel kind of emotions (very very rare). If I watch a movie and there is a special heartbreaking moment, I have tears in my eyes. This week I was shopping with my girlfriend. Within seconds I regained all my emotions. It was HUGE OVERLOAD. I instantly kissed her, hugged her and had tears in my eyes. Crazy: If I have these feelings I immediately question them if they are that real etc. Maybe this is some sign of OCD. Sometimes it feels like there are emotions but they can't get out...so strange. I feel awful anhedonic nearly every day. Then the anxiety kicks in...pointless ruminations about PSSD, SSRI withdrawal and I start to search stuff on the net to get clarification. The stories about not getting better are freaking me out, leading in a mental breakdown with anxiety and all this stuff. I cant remember windows and waves that good. Therefore I use diary app to track mood and habits. My girlfriend does this for me as well to compare our findings. Please excuse me if something is hard to read or understand, english is not my mother language. Any ideas if this seems like a withdrawal issue? Or is it a combination of stress, depression, OCD and anxiety leading to anhedonia? I start in a new job soon and I'm panicking that I won't be able to do this with all this weird stuff in my head.

Hi everybody, My names David and from Sunderland U.K I have been on Anti Depressants since 2001, I initially went to the doctor feeling low on a dark January afternoon I was having trouble with a girlfriend and was unemployed. He gave me these tablets and honestly thought I would pop them and 2 weeks later << that was the literally in the info at the time I would be back dancing so to speak. As everybody here now knows that was so far from the truth it was unreal, I had panic attacks, Suicidal thoughts, My Penis disappeared and my groin hurt. I was scared to go out the house. Naturally I rushed back to the doctors and he told my these were possible side effects << hardly no side effects in the 2001 anti depressant leaflets, How times have changed. I did level out and my mood was better after about 2 month but that level was a form of numbness, No emotions and No sex drive, Both have drove my insane ever since. I then was told I need to get out more and find a job to help me feel better and help lift my mood. I was 22 at the time so I had all my friends that I grow up with or went to school with Playing football a few nights a week and going for a few pints and a game of pool on a weekend. The Numbness was holding my back though as is life friends then started to get girlfriends and moving on with their life, I did not. I'm explaining all this because I have since day 1 of the anti depressant which ever brand I have had felt *Depersonalised* < a term I now know. I was not interested in women because I was scared they would leave me as soon they found out I had no sex drive and little emotions Then thats when the Anti Depressant loop started!!! I read as much as I could at that time apparently you took them for 6 weeks and then if you were better and you come off them... NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!! I always consulted my doctor, I remember him telling me he did't take people off them at Christmas (Short dark days in the uk at that time) 1 time I went to the doctors and told him I felt good I had a job at the time early 20s wanting to get on with my life. he said i'm fine with you feeling better, Just stop taking them!! << I kid you not. As everybody knows in the forum I then went COLD TURKEY!! That was my first experience of the term I know now as withdrawal syndrome. Naturally I ran back down the doctors a week or 2 later and was then put back on the medication That literally been the story of my life ever since, personally any effect the tablet has is far outweighed by the side effects. I ballooned up to 17 stone at 1 point, Walked out of a job I had when I went through a period of my life when I was always on the sick for about 18 months << I thought it was the job, I was a van driver but between 2009 and 2010 as you can see by my medication signature the doctor literally kept changing my tablets and I was sent to a psychiatrist all that Dr did was up my dose. I was numb and suicidal for a year I think, it was the worst period of my life. I wined myself of Venlafaxine I knew it wasn't doing ANYTHING for me but the doctor was adamant something would change. I then went to to the doctors on an emergency appointment and he was completely pissed with me. I was then put on Sertraline in 2011 and told myself no matter the side effects and going to change my life. Get a job, lose weight, have some money get out of my parents house and most of all find a partner. I lost my Best mate/Brother in 2015 which has had a huge effect on my life, I was actually tapering off at that time << I would of crashed I didn't know what I was doing. with the passing of my mate I upped the tablets to 75mg I think and drank heavily for about 2 years. Then I hit a turning point of I cannot go on like this i'm killing myself, My mate (which only lived 5 doors away from me my whole life) passed away and other friends I grew up with now married off or working away all the time I was left isolated. I have friends but I don't interact with them like I did with my mate that passed away. I had a Job, Lost 2 stone felt good about myself even if I was still at my parents (who I love dearly) I thought maybes it time to come off these tablets once and for all and then get myself on a dating site and see what the future holds. So last September I thought to myself maybe's it time to do it properly (I tried coming off them in 2018 small taper didn't work usual brick wall back on the medication 2 months off work) I was taking 50mg. My 10 year repeat prescription was 100mg but I was too numb on that dose. I didn't consult my doctor with it being in the middle of the pandemic < I worked all the way through. I went from 50 to 35 I think for about 4 weeks then to 25 for over Christmas << the numbness started to go and clarity coming back I started to feel better about myself thinking of the future. Then I halved to 12.5 I think for a month then halved again a month later Everything was fine I thought. I was quite irritable and I had a problem with a manger at work and he started to live in my head I just thought it was the medications leaving my system and would turn the corner. A good friend of mine offered my a job in the same industry and I took it was my mood went sky high that was 6 weeks ago. Then the anxiety started. I was having Road rage constantly << in my head. then the paranoid thoughts kick in. then last week the suicidal thoughts I started counselling and hypnotherapy treatment 3 weeks ago hoping to get over this bump, But once the suicidal thoughts kicked in I phoned my doctor up and guess what ? He advised me to go back on the medication which I did as the thought of Suicide were so real. I had a session with the counsellor on Saturday she said she could have calmed me down! I am now on day 4 of 25mg Sertraline having just phoned in sick from work in my new job (My mate was completely fine to be honest, told me take my time and get better) going through the sick effect phase AGAIN I have never searched about this subject before till Friday I did not know why I hadn't looked into it before I apologise for the long explanation but that is basically the last 20 years of my life and probably the rest of my life! I do live in hope David

Hi this is my first post, I ct of mirtazapine 10 months ago as per doctors recommendations and since then have been experiencing severe muscle weakness, spasms and knots. I believe my history will be included in the signature of this post? I’ve been trying all the recommended treatments like magnesium, heat etc which helps only a bit. Hoping to get help with the following questions: I’m still taking 25 mg sertraline, which I was taking before the mirtazapine, and did not experience the muscle issues. However, with my CNS kindled could the sertraline be contributing to the spasms? My understanding of mirtazapine is it hits +25 receptors so would anyone know which ones in particular could have been adversely affected to cause the muscle issues, ie histamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, etc? Not sure if other medications are ever recommended but wondering about the use of a muscle relaxant or other drug that could help relax the muscles without causing further damage to my CNS. Any other supplements and/or diet recommendations such as low histamine or low glutamate?

So I was first put on sertraline (an SSRI) when I was 10 years old. From when I was put on the medication, whenever I would have a strong relapse in symptoms, the most common response of my psychiatrist would be to increase my dose. When I was about 23 I was also put on propranolol (a beta-blocker). I'm now 34. Currently, my mental health is ok, but for a very long time I've suffered from a bunch of related symptoms: - Inability to sleep - Extreme difficulty getting up in the morning - Fatigue - Unexplained chronic pain These come and go and occur along with anxiety and low-level depression which the medications are supposed to treat. Doctors haven't been able to identify a cause, and they don't really respond to the standard things people recommend to help treating these symptoms (e.g. eating healthy, etc). Taken as a whole they can make it very difficult to make improvements in my life. I'd like to come off the medications because I think that the symptoms listed above (not the depression and anxiety) might be caused or exacerbated by my medication. But the trouble is, I've been on the medications so long I don't really have any idea if the symptoms I have experienced really are being caused or exacerbated by the medications. I managed to reduce my sertraline dosage from 200 to 100mg and I couldn't notice a change in these symptoms, which indicates that maybe they are completely unrelated to my medications And the severe episodes of anxiety and related symptoms I have experienced have been a living hell. If coming off the medication results in a return of that then I don't want to do it and will end up really regretting it. So I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Hello, first time poster here. Six months I wasn’t tapered properly off Sertraline after 6 years of use. I foolishly cut my dose from 100 milligrams to 50 without a taper and was then cross tapered to Venlafaxine about a week after the initial dosage cut. I was already experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms and had warned my doctor multiple times but she insisted on the taper to a different drug. After a few days of dropping from my dosage even further as ordered from my doctor and heavily dealing with withdrawal symptoms I started developing tingling and mild numbness in my feet which over the course of a week had taken over all my limbs. Long story short, I completed the tapering process and switched to Venlafaxine, but still 6 months in I’m going through multiple bouts of horrific neurological symptoms and my neuropathy symptoms have turned to debilitating full body burning, aching, severe pain. I now have an extreme heat intolerance, I sweat excessively even when I’m cold, I have full body tremors and jerk in my sleep, I run a fever across my entire body and feel like my CNS is completely fried. I have an appointment coming up to see a Neurologist to get testing done in case this isn’t anything to do with my medication history but I firmly believe my issues are linked to severe case of AD withdrawal syndrome. Or at least it’s morphed into severe protracted withdrawal. I have never reinstated my previous drug but I only realised when I was in tears the other night in severe pain that I’ve still got the medication on hand and was tempted to try reinstating. I don’t think I can fight this any longer and the big ‘S’ word has passed my mind quite a few times. I’m so scared I’ve completely fried my system due to my own negligence as well as my doctor completely screwing me over and if reinstating gets rid of these debilitating symptoms than I’ll do it, but I’m scared I’ll kindle and further damage myself. It is possible to be stuck in severe withdrawal syndrome whilst actively still medicating via an antidepressant? I was on Sertraline which is an SSRI class drug but now I’m on Venlafaxine which is still an antidepressant but under the class SNRI, I’ve never heard of anyone else going through this experience besides me, it’s always people who have removed the drug entirely. I need some help guys if possible, at least some insight that I can pass onto my neurologist in a couple of days… I’m dying here.

Hey all. Though as I write this I feel relatively healthy, I prefer to quit anyway. My history of this treatment is long, tough and spans 6 years. Started with Sertraline and anxiety which led me to develop psychotic symptoms, though very few of these symptoms - 1 or 2 to be exact. Either way, I suspect my diagnosis is off the mark or entirely wrong because I've had friends tell me I am healthy and family members tell me it's been 2 years since they saw symptoms of my "chronic" illness. Strangely, if we diagnosed me according to DSM and other books then I would just barely qualify for a psychotic disorder in the past, but totally not in the most recent 2 years - I got better. Anyway, as of today I settled on Zoloft 50mg and Zyprexa 15mg (brands of Sertraline, Olanzapine). These are totally ok for me. Or so I thought! Here is my plan. Blood tests came. I have high prolactin. Remains to be figured out whether this high prolactin is from sertraline or from olanzapine. All I am sure is that I definitely have poor libido and some anhedonia which are typical for high prolactin. Better if it's sertraline 'cause I may keep on taking olanzapine in that case. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, since I believed these drugs to be 100% safe for me. How do I plan to come off these drugs, and will it go well? I will just persuade my doctor to give me a tapering plan. This is my own tapering plan based on my experience and how these drugs work with my body: Sertraline, month 0: 50 mg month 1: 25 mg month 2: 0 mg Olanzapine, month 0: 15 mg - month 1: 10 mg - month 2: 7.5 mg - month 3: 5 mg - month 4: 0 mg Cheers!

I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years

Hi, I have been back and forth on posting here but decided to go for it. I was originally put on sertraline nearly 4 years ago due to extreme depression. I had a lot of traumatic events happen to me between the ages of 18 and 22 which I was still trying to cope with years later. I had been through many rounds of therapy and was still having a really hard time, especially after a bad breakup, so my doctor decided meds were the next option. I had to taper up fairly slowly to 100mg and the side effects at the start were awful. I couldn’t eat, I was borderline manic, generally all over the place. After I settled at 100mg though I have had the most stable period of my life that I can remember. Although I have still had bad episodes (one of my oldest friends committed suicide, work stress etc.) I agreed with my doctor that these were understandable reactions to life events and we wouldn’t change my dose. As I’ve been doing particularly well the past year my doctor wanted to decrease my dose. She suggested in late May that I alternate between 100mg and 50mg for a few weeks and then drop to 50. Alternating sent me all over the place so I just dropped directly to 50 and was fine throughout June and most of July. During July I had some big life decisions to make, and a lot of stress. After some triggers bringing up old trauma, realising I had made some bad choices etc. I started to have a lot of anxiety and breakdown. The anxiety was very intense, but I found that talking to people and making new plans eased it for a while. Then a week later, after a relatively stable week, I started having really bad panic that wouldn’t ease no matter what I did. This lead to a really bad episode of depersonalisation and derealisation that was the scariest I’ve ever had. My doctor wanted me to go back to alternating between 100mg and 50mg but instead I started taking 75, hoping that this might even me out. I have been on 75mg for just over 2 weeks now and I feel awful. For the first week I was entirely numb to everything, which was somewhat of a relief after the intense anxiety. However, since then I now wake up with intense dread and anxiety that lasts until at least noon if not all day. Waking up my heart is racing and I feel like everything is awful and always will be. I can’t eat until the evening. It exhausts me and I can’t do anything else afterwards. I’m going to work still but it is so difficult, I just want to crawl out of my skin. I’m trying to stay at 75mg and level out but I’m so scared that I never will. Before this I was so stable and having one of the best times of my life. Now I can barely function. I’m questioning whether I need to stay at 75mg, go back to 100 or drop back down to 50. It has only been a month since this all started and I can’t keep living like this.

Hello I took a antidepressant called sertraline for 3 months at 50 mg.Although it made me feel better I had to come off it as the change in brands was making my mental health deteriorate badly and I could not be guaranteed a steady supply from the same brand.I have come off the medication and have experienced horrific symptoms which I presume to be withdrawal which I didn't even have before taking the sertraline and these symptoms include severe anxiety, anger,rage,electric shocks and brain zaps,body being jolted, really bad low mood and this has gone on for 11 months after I stopped which is shocking.Gp's in England do not seem to be aware how bad antidepressants can be. I would like to ask if any people from England are going through withdrawals from antidepressants as Gp's deny withdrawal, and whether there are any private doctors or Gp's who believe in antidepressant withdrawal and could maybe give a diagnosis.Does England even have any support or services for antidepressant withdrawal? Thanks

Hello everyone. Recently discovered this site and would like to share my story with SSRIs. Hopefully it will help some people out with similar struggles. I grew up with a lot of anxiety all throughout my childhood but always just pushed through it. As a child I just assumed everyone feels this anxiety and they must hide it better, or be stronger pushing it away. As I got older into my late teens I realised I have a social anxiety disorder When I was 20, in my second year at university things reached a breaking point with anxiety levels. We were tasked with giving presentations to the class the following week and I got triggered so badly at the thought. I went home riddled with the most intense anxiety, feeling I would rather jump off a cliff than go through the upcoming task, more or less resigning myself to the fact that i would have to drop out of school and never have a chance to do the things I want in life. I went to my doctor who prescribed Sertraline after a very brief chat. They give me the common explanation there is a chemical imbalance in the brain and this will correct it. Cant remember the exact details of the conversation but the message I got was that this medication is perfectly safe and its no big deal taking it. Being in a lot of pain, desperate for some sort of improvement and completely trusting my doctors expertise I agreed straight away and started the medication. After that, things did stabilise enough for me to finish school, start working and slog my way through life painfully with high anxiety but now dulled enough to cope moderately. I had counselling many times (all CBT type) which helped me gain some perspective but did little to resolve my anxiety and when the next situation came up Id get as anxious as ever. After several attempts to resolve my anxiety problem through counselling, I pretty much gave up on ever getting resolution and resorted to management strategies. A few years later another doctor suggested I switch to citalopram which is better at treating anxiety. They give me their usual short confident explanation, without any warnings about side effects or in depth knowledge of the drug. Due to the sexual side effects I attempted to stop citalopram in 2018 as I thought things were going pretty well. I tapered far too quickly and went off the drug completely for 3 months. In hindsight it was a doomed attempt from the start because I hadn't found any strategy to resolve the underlying anxiety problem. So the anxiety got bad again and I reluctantly reinstated. Fast forward to Mar 2023. A new job opportunity has came up in my company and I really want to apply, but anxiety will be a major problem for me going to an interview and doing well in it. I apply anyway. Days before the interview the anxiety is starting to get very strong and persistent. In desperation I begin to research social anxiety and find EFT tapping. I try following along to a youtube video of someone tapping on accupressure points thinking this is the stupidest thing Ive seen yet, this must be a scam, I hope nobody sees me doing this crap, etc. After about 10 minutes doing this tapping I notice the anxiety level suddenly drops in intensity and at that point I started to believe that this actually works. I felt straight away that this is exactly what Ive been looking for and its going to change my life for the better in every way After that I was hooked and began to research and practice EFT daily and have being getting great results on the things that have been causing me the most misery over the years. I since learned through my research that my social anxiety is a learned condition due to negative experiences or traumas in my childhood. I would have always said my childhood was perfectly normal, nothing to see here, but looking a little more in depth, there were many subtle experiences of embarrassment and humiliation that created this habitual anxiety response in certain social situations. I would now have to disagree with my doctors "chemical imbalance" theory. My brain is and was always perfectly balanced. I was never actually depressed had any other conditons. My anxiety was purely situational and I could feel normal when I wasnt in those situations. What caused my suffering was my subconsious mind percieving threat in particular situations due to past traumas. After a few months tapping my results were great but I felt I wasnt able to truly feel the bad childhood emotiions due to the SSRIs blunting emotions so I began to taper. I tapered from 40mg, to 30mg then to 20mg then to 10mg. After each step i would feel the brain zaps etc and would allow it to settle for a few weeks before stepping down again. I went to taking 10mg every 2 days for a few weeks, then every 3 days for about a week then stopped. The first couple of weeks off were rough enough with zaps, anxiety and general lower mood and at times unexplained rage. Since march I spend at least 1 hour eft tapping per day and this habit really helped me through this period. There is an odd hellish day where it seems hopeless like I would never get my life back but this would pass quickly enough. About a month in the acute withdrawl subsided. The brain zaps faded away After this i have being having what I would call symptoms of the protracted withdrawl phase. This has largely been a feeling of pressure in my head or a headache, brain fog, tiredness all the time and limited motiviation or joy in things usually enjoyed. As expected (and what I had actually hoped for) the anxiety that the SSRIS had dulled could be felt more intensely and when doing the EFT some incredibly intense releases of emotion started happening. To me this was the healing or resolution that needed to happen, and I dont think it would have been possible on the SSRI. I am now into my 5th month off citalopram. The challenges seem to come and go like last week i felt worse than I had in recent weeks but it passed. The daily EFT practice is my go to when anything comes up. I also joined a gym last week to try and lift my mood and energy and found running along with the sauna and plunge pool (ice cold) really lifted my mood in a big way. I had been trying cold showers recently too and get a good mood boost off it. There were short periods in the last few months where I felt demoralised like I couldnt cope, but these are very short lived and pass. On a bad day I like to myself that how I feel is not a truth, just an emotion/perspective and it will pass. I also always be kind to myself after a bad day/experience and remind myself of the big picture, of all the progress ive made over months. Its so easy to get demoralised after a setback or rough patch but I guess the wisdom of being a bit older now helps me see things in a more rounded way. My younger self may have went to panic stations after a few rough days of symptoms. Currently I am doing great and well on top of the symptoms most of the time but I feel very fragile and my brain has a lot more healing ahead. I am fully confident that I will never put another SSRI in my body, thanks to making huge strides to resolving the underlying anxiety root causes. What worries me a bit reading peoples stories is the timeline for the brain to heal. It scares me to think of how much longer I might feel headaches, tiredness, sluggish generally not myself, but there is no alternative I suppose. Hopefully things wont get worse before they get better I will post a later update to my story to let you know how its going. I really hope this information helps some people on here. Id also love to hear any thoughts/advice from the group.

My story in a nutshell: Always been anxious but got really bad in 2015 Went to see the doctor and was told I didn't have depression but had GAD Was prescribed Sertraline and GP told me coming off them meant “mild to no symptoms” Started 50mg Sertraline 1 Jan 2016 but also quit coffee and alcohol at the same time Brother on 200mg told me you feel better after six weeks Had blurred vision, dry mouth and increased appetite but was otherwise fine (but still anxious) Six weeks to the day (more on this later) I felt more relaxed, clear-headed and less anxious Decided to come off after nine months as to me medicine is a last resort and I felt okay Tapered off over three months Withdrawal started and it was indescribably bad — I can barely even put it into words Went on for a while and I went back to the doctors, was dismissively told it would right itself and that I could always go back on them if I wanted to Didn't have many people to speak to about it but those I did said it was my depression coming back and I need to go back on the meds I knew it wasn't as how I was feeling was an order of magnitude worse than I'd ever felt in my life the the most depression I'd had before that was likely dysthymia as I was always functioning and never missed any work from it (interestingly I don't think the NHS recognise dysthymia and I was never diagnosed with it but in hindsight while not feeling hopeless or worthless I likely have had anhedonia for a lot of my adult life) I suffered alone for about 7–8 months, easily the worst I have never felt in my life: hopeless, worthless and angry in a way that is so extreme as to be difficult to describe After about 8 months it eased up Still with anhedonia I would function okay for a few weeks then my emotions would fall off a cliff and it'd be like being in mini withdrawal for about a week, passive suicidal ideation This went on for 6+ years while I tried to explore alternative methods of recovery (exercise, supplements, etc) As well as this cycle I get constant nose bleeds in my right nostril, I get hand tremors (never had them before Sertraline) if I am stressed and sometimes my memory and thinking goes haywire (not blackouts but difficulty forming and retaining memories even though my recall and clarity of thinking was good before, e.g. once when stressed, I forgot which side of the road cars travelled on and found myself unable to remember quite recent conversations) Exercise and eating well (esp. cutting out sugar) helped but life was still a slog Kind of got sick of fighting this thing about a year ago and had a bit of a breakdown and realised I was on a continuum of passive to active suicidal ideation Hit rock bottom and swore to myself I would never act on intrusive thoughts and started fighting back with renewed vigor Slowly improved through supplements, light therapy, cold shower, lots of exercise and a particularly the Human Givens approach — basically it shows that your thinking affects your sleep and your sleep quality determines your mental state A couple of months later I started taking Moringa powder and within a week the “blackness” had gone (not sure how/why but it is rich in tryptophan) After about a month of taking Moringa I actually started to feel happy; after an 8 year battle, I'd finally beaten this thing However… All was good for a few months until some things in life went badly all in a row and my stress levels ramped up and I've had a few bad months. I am being asked to look at medication by my family but this time a different SSRI. It seems crazy to me given what I've been through but I have promised to at least look at other SSRIs, hence this post. Here are my questions: How different are SSRIs? Can any of the more well-informed members here take a look at my history and let me know what taking a different SSRI might look like? Fluoxetine (Prozac) looks like it is less likely to cause withdrawal symptoms but I've also read if you have had suicidal ideation before it can make that worse. Am I likely to have the same experience coming off any SSRI? I can't imagine being on them life as a) it doesn't address anything and b) I have heard they stop working eventually. I am also very concerned about the data surrounding them, particularly the lack of evidence for the chemical imbalance theory and their ineffectiveness in mild to moderate depression. I know SSRIs work as a placebo for some. I found it suspicious that I started feeling the benefits on the exact day my brother said they'd start working. Almost like my brain expected it. And if I ever got serious side effects like I had before…I honestly don't know what I'd do. And finally, the irony of having had to deal with all this depression simply because I took an antidepressant is not lost of me.

Hi, Nice to meet you all. I’ve been lurking on this site since earlier this year and am finally posting because I am in some serious need for advice. I started sertraline (zoloft) in March 2015 for panic and anxiety disorder. It worked wonders and basically cured my anxiety. I was initially on 50mg and had missed doses/failed attempts to quit but never had trouble going back on it (the longest I was off the meds was 2 weeks). From May 2021 to November 2022 I took 50mg every other day and was able to stabilize. In November 2022 I decided to taper off Zoloft since I thought my anxiety was gone and my life had become pretty stable. I weaned off in three weeks, which was ridiculously fast in hindsight (I did 12.5mg for two weeks and 6.25mg for a week). I had all the classical withdrawal symptoms (flu like symptoms, insomnia, etc). However, some of them symptoms never went away to this day, such as fatigue and insomnia, although they did start getting better over time. From January 2023 to August I also tried a lot of supplements to help my sleep. I took ashwaghanda for two months, which helped slightly. I also tried 5-htp for a week. I thought it gave me more energy until it gave me a panic attack one day so I stopped. Magnesium glycinate and fish oil didn’t do anything to me, although I only took them on and off and max for a week. The most bothersome symptom I’ve had is hard to describe. I can only describe it as sensory disturbances (sudden dropping sensation, random waves of pulling sensation in the body, especially in neck, almost dizzy feeling when I turn my eyes that last less than a second throughout the day). This symptom used to happen maybe once a day, but since July it became more and more frequent, and sometimes I feel like I’m almost floating/not grounded. I decided to reinstate on August 14 because my doctor thought it was my anxiety relapsing, which was partially true since I did feel my anxiety creeping back. However, I had never had such sensory disturbances/fatigue/insomnia before I got on Zoloft, even on my worst days. After I reinstated 12.5mg Zoloft, I thought it helped with the dizziness/sensory disturbances in the first 2-3 weeks, but they slowly came back. It also started giving me bad insomnia after week 3 (worse than before reinstatement) and burning sensation in my back at random times of the day. Although my mood has been better and I feel like I have more energy, I also feel more anxious with a lot of mood swings. I apologize for the long post. I have a few questions that I was hoping you’d be able to answer: 1. Should I hold my current dose (12.5mg) given that it didn’t help with my withdrawal symptoms and caused side effects that aren’t going away? If it’s safe to taper off, how fast can I get off? 2. Are the sensory disturbances withdrawal symptoms? Why do I feel like they only got worse as time went by? I also have a brain MRI scan scheduled soon just to rule things out. Thanks in advance!

Hello, When I was 17 (19 now) I was put on 50mg Sertraline in late 2020 because of a stimulant overdose that triggered an intense OCD episode about the effects on my body. I believed I was going to die due to my overdose symptoms (chest pains, loss of feeling in left arm, heart palpitations) but with time and meds it faded away. I was on Sertraline for a year and a half and I was overall fairly stable, however I did experience multiple suicidal episodes and other issues. I started tapering off in April of 2022, and had a rough but overall functional summer until I took my last dose of 1mg in August 2022 (under supervision of psychiatrist the whole time) after which I experienced quite acute and intense withdrawal with intense and uncontrollable obsessive thoughts. This lasted a few weeks, and after I went back to college in early September 2022 it faded away and had a month after my taper ended where I felt somewhat stable with somewhat manageable symptoms. In Early October 2022 after being off SSRIS for about 1.5 months I had a single breakdown that kicked off another insane OCD episode with very graphically sexual themes. It’s been almost 2 months now and I am hardly getting any better and I’ve accepted my state as one of constant obsessions and only feeling at peace for a few minutes at a time. Progress is very slow and I feel maybe 25% better since the worst. Anyways, is it possible that I’m still experiencing prolonged effects of my taper? I did feel good for a while but it feels like I’m back in early withdrawal but without brain zaps and the like. Before I ever took meds I did have some obsessive thinking, but it was always explainable and related to things that actually pertained to my real life. These days, I can scarcely hang out with people or go to class or even use my phone without being triggered by something completely irrational that leads me into a sometimes days long spiral. I just feel messed up and insane now. I’m in therapy and it helps but I just don’t feel like myself, ever. My intrusive thoughts take up so much of my day and energy and I can’t tell if this is just how my brain is wired or if I’m still going through prolonged withdrawals. Any advice/guidance is appreciated.

I have a long history of anxiety, was on chlorpromazine and diazepam as a teenager; I'm now 67. Developed OCD in 1970s. Drug-free till 1990s. Developed CFS in 1986, OCD worsened and developed depression over the next 5 years. Prozac from 1991 till 1994, helped to some extent, then OCD worsened again. Switched to dosulepin in 1994, then to clomipramine on the advice of a clinical psychologist in July 1994. Helped a little with the OCD, but to everyone's surprise helped a lot with the CFS. Have been on clomipramine since then, doses from 25 to 125 mg - mostly between 50 and 100mg. The OCD resolved in 1997 after various non-drug therapies, but have continued with the clomipramine because it helped the CFS - usually a dose increase would help after a setback. Since about 2005 the doses my GP allowed did not help the CFS.....tried citalopram in 2007, no better and had a nasty reaction 4 weeks after stopping the clomipramine/starting citalopram - extreme anxiety and uncontrollable shaking. At the time, scared it might be serotonin syndrome - the citalopram had just started to "kick in" - but maybe it was clomipramine withdrawal. Tried dosulepin again in mid 2007 - that made me anxious and did not help the CFS, so switched back to clomipramine. I would like to reduce it.....currently having supply problems in the UK as some manufacturers have stopped producing it, and the constipation is really getting me down. I'm currently on 50mg/day, but my GP and I are talking about reducing it....not sure it's helping any more (the CFS is greatly improved these days, irrespective of clomipramine dose), and would like to find out if I can cope without it.

Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.

I have been taking Zoloft for 20 years for panic disorder. I started taking it when I was 18, and tried other medications as well. Nothing worked accept Zoloft. I still have breakthrough panic attacks and anxiety sometimes, but it’s manageable. I want to get off of Zoloft, but I’m terrified of the panic coming back. I’ve tried getting off of it 4 other times, and suffered greatly for years, becoming agoraphobic for months, and not driving by myself for 6 years the first time I tried to stop, and then severe depression, with suicidal ideation, extreme panic attacks I couldn’t calm down from, and constant debilitating anxiety the other times I tried to stop. One time I was off for a year, and they came back 1,000 times worse! I’m thinking of tapering slowly this time, but terrified that the panic attacks will come back full force again, and I will have to suffer going back on the meds until they kick in again. I have two young children, and I don’t want to suffer with withdrawal symptoms. I want to be able to get off of the meds easily, and with little side effects. I’m just so scared that the panic attacks and depression will come back if I stop the meds, and I won’t know if it’s withdrawal, if it’s legitimate panic attacks. They are so severe and terrifying that I almost want to stay on the meds forever and deal with the side effects than go through life the way I’ve always felt off of them. Any tips, advice, or thoughts?

I apologise for the self indulgence of this but I'm upset at the moment and really wanted to just tell people about everything that's happened to me - it's a really, really long story. I appreciate its very TL;DR... I've been on and off various antidepressants since I was 14 - so for most of my life. These have included SSRIs, SNRIs and mood stabilisers. By age 27 I had decided I no longer wanted to take any medications for my presenting condition, which at that point was anxiety. I felt that the years I'd spent on medication was "lost time" because the emotional numbing effect of these drugs promotes a kind of apathy - because I didn't care about anything, I didn't do anything and so my life would wither around me. Every time I came off them I would look at my life - now able to feel the emptiness of it - and feel motivated to be proactive and improve it. My social life was better when I wasn't on medication, my memory was better when I wasn't on medication, I was more productive when I wasn't on medication. A very clear 'boom and bust' pattern had emerged in my personal history where when I was unmedicated I was a whirlwind of activity, taking positive actions to improve my health, and when I was on the pills I sat inside in my pyjamas. Another pattern was clear too - every time i weaned off my pills, i would leave my unfulfilling relationships with boyfriends because I could no longer tolerate the loneliness. I would look for something better. On pills, I just stayed, and those relationships over time would erode my self esteem. With all this evidence behind me, I decided none of this was worth it and I'd rather just learn to live with the anxiety. A couple of months after deciding I would never touch another pill, I woke up feeling something I hadn't felt since I was a teenager - a voracious sex drive! It had been so long since I'd had a libido that I hadn't realised it was gone and I found myself now constantly interrupted throughout the day by thoughts and fantasies about sex. My pleasure in sex also increased and my orgasms improved. My vulva even changed, appearing 'fuller' with increased lubrication, as if the bloodflow down there had suddenly increased. Initially I worried something was wrong and consulted my GP to ensure this swelling and wetness was not an infection, but everything was normal. This was just how I was *supposed* to be. I enjoyed this sex drive and pleasure for four years. Unfortunately, during those four years, my mental health snowballed. I developed severe panic disorder with agoraphobia. I was determined not to take medications so I tried everything else - therapies and self help, anything I could do to change my thoughts and feelings without a prescription. By age 31, now mostly housebound for two years, I gave up. Although the first two years of my unmedicated life had been more active and fulfilling, it was now the illness rather than the medication that had trapped me inside in my pyjamas. It was time to choose the lesser evil - Sertraline. A few days later, towelling dry after a shower, I realised I couldn't feel my genitals. Initially my drive for sex - which had continued to be high throughout my illness - remained and I was in the frustrating position of feeling an urge to satisfy that need and no longer being able to because my clitoris was completely numb. I was about to throw the pills away when, almost overnight, something amazing happened - the panic attacks stopped. I could go outside. I could do anything now. I booked a last minute flight to Portugal and went on holiday! Now came a tough decision - life, or a sex life? That probably doesn't sound tough to most people but when you've been trapped inside your house for years, your sexuality becomes very important to you. There's a window in every day where you feel excitement and pleasure, where you feel alive again. And frankly, one of the big motivators to get back outside was to have sex - something I now couldn't do! I was upset, but I told myself I was being silly. Of course it was more important to go outside than to masturbate! And it was only going to be temporary - I told myself that the moment my life was back on track I'd lose the pills. I quickly met a man and started a relationship of sorts, but it was an odd experience. I had no idea if I liked him; I just couldn't tell. I'd speak to friends and try to work out logically if he were a good fit for me but there was no emotion to act as a compass. I felt nothing - about anything. The sex, now that I had lost all feeling in my genitals, was like a prolonged smear test. I still had sexual urges - although I didn't know if I loved him, I definitely found him sexually attractive - but once we got started it was like my mind and body were completely disconnected. Nine months after starting sertraline, with panic attacks completely resolved, I decided the only way to know if I even wanted to go out with this guy was to find out how I felt without the pills. Weaning off was initially like weaning off any psychotropic drug. With each step down I had vertigo, electric shock feelings in my nerves, insomnia, agitation, intense emotions that came out of nowhere. I'd been through this a million times before so I continued with the scheduled taper, knowing a couple of weeks after I hit 0mg I'd feel fine again. But 48 hours after I took my last pill, chaos broke out in my body and mind. It was by far the most extreme experience I've ever had in my life. There were 1 million thoughts racing through my mind but I couldn't catch any of them. I had the bizarre feeling that I was thinking very obsessively about something but I had no idea what I was thinking about. The vertigo grew intense and I started vomiting. I would continue vomiting for the next three weeks. An excruciating and unrelenting pain developed in my gut. It felt like an emotional anguish, but what about? I didn't know. Unable to look after myself, a friend took me in. We had a long conversation about the biggest thing in my life at that time - I'd realised I definitely didn't like this boyfriend and I was leaving. "You should just tell him exactly what you just told me" my friend said, and i suddenly realised I had absolutely no idea what I'd just told her. I knew we'd been talking for hours, but I couldn't remember a single word. I felt very confused. I decided not to make any major decisions while I felt so chaotic so I didn't immediately break up with the man. Over the course of the next few weeks, strange things would happen. I would come around half slumped on his bed to him shaking me and pleading with me to wake up. I had no idea how I'd got there or what had happened. He would report back to me that I screamed in the night - a blood curdling scream, he said, but I had no memory of it. The confusion got worse and one day I couldn't speak. I just couldn't form words anymore, like where my mind used to be was a big blank, white space. My boyfriend took me to hospital where a doctor said he'd make sure I was referred for therapy and perhaps in the meantime I could join a choir. I went back to the GP and asked her to give me anything but sertraline. The strange thing was, despite every painful and extreme experience that was happening to me, my sexual function was great again and I didn't want to go back to that numbness. The doctor prescribed Prozac, which made everything worse, and a week later I gave in and took Sertraline. The symptoms vanished in less than a week - no more vomiting, pain or cognitive confusion - but my genitals disappeared with them. I left my boyfriend, which initially made me feel happy and motivated, and I told myself I'd give my brain a break before weaning back off the meds. Not long afterwards, the pandemic hit. I wasn't going to have sex anyway, so why go through discontinuation? When lockdown ended, I realised i had no sexual or romantic feelings anymore and was struggling to find a partner. I was now 35 and wanted to have children, but dates led nowhere. I couldn't feel a thing. I phoned my gp and started weaning down. Afraid of discontinuation syndrome, I took it very slowly and weaned over about 18 months. 48 hours after my last pill, vertigo emerged and I started vomiting. I vomited for six days but there were no cognitive symptoms so this was fine by me. A day or so after I stopped being sick, I put music on in my car and it was like I was on ecstasy. The sounds were thrilling, my brain was lighting up, I felt completely alive. But my genitals were still numb. After a couple of weeks, I started to panic and went online where I found out about PSSD. But every forum I saw helpfully stated that if you have been off the pills for less than six months, don't condemn yourself to PSSD. Go out, forget about it, it'll come back. Reassured, I did exactly that. About nine months after discontinuation, I felt a change in my brain. I felt intense emotions, I felt alive, I felt motivated to do hobbies I'd dropped years ago. I started to think about sex, but when I did I felt nothing. My clitoris is almost entirely numb, my vulva feels dry and shrunken. But my ovarian function has been tested and is fine - neither do I have any of the other conditions that can reduce oestrogen (such as thyroid disease). It's now been a year since I stopped sertraline and my sexuality is still as it was when I was on the pills. I feel old and past it, like I'm 87, not 37 . My doctor is being fantastic. She's investigating every possible physical angle. I haven't told her yet that I fear it might be iatrogenic. We're currently approaching it like a coincidence - at some point during the course of treatment, something else happened that caused exactly the same symptoms as the side effects of the pills. Something about this feels desperate and delusional. I worry that I'll never feel that sexual urgency that I once did and that I might never enjoy sex or masturbation again. It's a devastating thought, but I don't want to tell myself this is permanent without evidence. It could still be temporary, and I want to act as if that's true. If you read that far then my God you're a hero - thank you!

Hello! I'm new to this site! I am happy to have found this forum reassuring and full of mutual help! I apologize in advance for my grammar errors, I am from Quebec and I don't speak English so I use Google translate! ☺️ Here is my little story! In August 2023, my doctor prescribed Sertraline (the French name for Zoloft) at my request. I was experiencing a lot of anxiety about a vestibular disorder that I have been living with for 1 year, it is very difficult to live with. So, I start Zoloft, the first week at 25mg everything is fine! The second week I increase to 50 mg, stomach aches and heart palpitation, sleeping problem, difficulty urinating! I tell myself that it will pass….5 days after starting my second week all the symptoms are getting worse and worse, and a strange feeling in my genial zone….a bit like arousal without thinking sexual…sorry for the details, a frequent urge to urinate and pain similar to cystitis, like needles in the bladder! Just sitting down caused these symptoms or going to the bathroom! The symptoms were almost constant! So I made the decision to stop everything and I called my pharmacist and explained the situation to him… although I had been taking this medication for a short time (1 week and 5 days) he told me to take a 25mg the same evening. and the next day stop everything, which I did! Slowly everything was reducing but it was still there. A week after stopping I started to have muscle spasms in my thigh, hips and buttock. Constantly these spasm was there. So I made an appointment with my doctor to explain the situation to her, she’s a woman so it’s less embarrassing. She recognized all the symptoms except that of genital arousal. She was very reassuring with me and told me that everything would gradually go away over time. Today it's been 3 months since I stopped everything, the symptoms are less and less frequent, and sometimes I feel these genital symptoms towards the end of my period or during my ovulation...but it's very mild and not like in the past. beginning. I read the story of HopeFull and Cathy French on this forum which I found very reassuring and it gave me a lot of hope that my symptoms will go away! I didn't have a diagnosis so I don't know if what I had was pgad like people say, but it looks like it but without the pain! I no longer have any urinary problems either, everything is gone. All that remains is this feeling which sometimes comes back slightly! Sorry for the very long text and thank you very much for your welcome and your listening! 🥰 Rudbeckie 🙂

Hi! Glad to have found this community. I was out on 25mg Sertraline after a stressful life phase caused burnout that ended with me at the hospital. The psychiatrist raised the dose to 50mg within two weeks of starting. After a couple of weeks of extremely weird new ‘electric’ sensations in my body that the doc assured was just my anxiety, I slowly over three months or so got used to the medication and started to feel better mentally. The life trigger that resulted in the burnout ceased being there around month 6 on Sertraline, and I worked with the psychiatrist to begin tapering as I believed then I had developed other coping strategies through therapy, exercise and mindfulness practices. I was advised to taper to 0 within two weeks, but I intuitively felt that something that took 3 months to make the effect felt is likely not going to leave my system to pre-medication days in just two weeks, and decided on what I then thought was a slow and effective taper (I unfortunately did not come across this site before my taper attempt started 😕). Tapering to 25 mg from 50 and then to 12.5 and finally 0 all happened within a span of four months, with no symptoms whatsoever during the taper. It was about three weeks after the last dose that I started feeling funny physical symptoms— brain zaps, vertigo. These slowly faded away and mental ones took over along with new physical ones— irritability, low bandwidth for stress, thoughts that get stuck on a loop. Through therapy and mindfulness practices I learnt during my time on Sertraline, I am able to cope with the mental symptoms as of now. It’s the physical ones that are bothering me and reigniting my health anxiety— would appreciate input on these— chest pains, pain along nerves in limbs and torso, getting fatigued more easily from workouts. Docs have dismissed this as anxiety related, but I was pain-free before the meds. Ugh. I read about reinstating on the site but feel like my nervous system is overreacting to everything right now, and the mental symptoms I am able to cope with so far. What worked for you to survive the physical symptoms of withdrawal? Help!

Hey everybody, I’m a new member, so please let me know if this is not okay or goes against anything. I will keep it as short and sweet as I can. Many years ago, I was put on Sertraline. I was quite young and I can’t remember anything negative about it. In December last year, I was put on 50mg of Sertraline (28th), and I tapered off 25mg of Notripyline and stopped completely the day prior (27th). I was on the Sertraline for 2 weeks, and 4 days when the itchiness started. It feels like a light tickle, or as if something has brushed against my skin, like a hair. It can be anywhere on my body. Once I scratch it, it stops, and then will move elsewhere. I’m not frantically scratching, it’s not keeping me awake and I’m not damaging skin, but it makes me anxious, agitated and restless. I will often bounce my leg or do something. The itching stopped for a few days (27th Jan until 31st) and then returned. I did develop a rash on my stomach on the 27th, which was itchy and red. I’m unsure what caused this, but it was near my injection site where I inject Ajovy (a headache/migraine medication). I injected that on the 21st of Jan, rash appeared 27th. I don’t think it’s related to my itchiness, it happened to settle when I first had the rash. The rash is no longer itchy and is fading with hydrocortisone cream. I am also on 25mg of Quetiapine, which was increased to 50mg on the 27th of December last year to assist with any insomnia that weaning of the Notripyline may cause. I guess what I want to know, is this a side effect of Sertraline/SSRIs? I’m very worried I’m developed some sort of compulsion or health condition. I’ve read in a lot of places that itchiness can be a side effect due to the serotonin increase. I also smoke marijuana. I’ve never had any other drug reactions. Thank you in advance

Hello, just a little history about me I’m a 39 year old female who’s always had a bit of OCD/anxiety but never medicated. Around 6 years ago in 2018 my daughter was battling an illness that required my full attention/support so in order to cope with all the worry, anxiety I was prescribed 50mg of Setraline. I was on and off it over the years with no issues to deal with my daughter’s illness. Then in December 2020 I Cold Turkeyd Setraline and did fine for 4 months til I started having intrusive thoughts( which I didn’t know what these were) enough to freak me out and reinstated 50 mg of Zoloft in May 2021 just fine with no side effects. I stayed on this dose for over 2 years straight with no skipping. Fast forward to August 2023 I was in a better place mentally and my daughters illness was better so I decided to tapper on my doctors order to take 25mg of Setraline instead of 50mg for a few weeks. So I began to tapper in August breaking my 50mg pill in half. I never dealt with major withdraw symptoms or new what they were til these past few months have been hell. I started the crying non stop, lashing out, constipation, acid reflux, loss of appetite, urine issues as if I had a UTI, food sensitivity, AND WORST OF ALL A FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK. I called my dr and asked her what this was as I never experienced this before. It had been roughly 11 weeks of tapering from August to October so she advised me to go back to the original dose of 50mg ON OCTOBER 21, 2023. And that’s when I became worse. Two days later after updosing my Setraline to 50mg I was nauseous all day/vomiting , no appetite, trouble sleeping. This continued for 6 weeks when I was so dehydrated and my brain was not functioning correctly I went to the ER November 23 and told them what happened with the increase they said withdraw symptoms don’t last this long and it’s probably gastritis. So my husband told me to stop the increase and stay on 25mg of Sertraline since my dr was on Thanksgiving break. It’s been 45 days since I last changed my dosage back to 25mg of Setraline and have been feeling pretty awful: wake up with the cortisol spike/ anxiety in the morning running through my arms, Insomnia/broken sleep( wake up few times in the night), no appetite, depressed, OCD intrusive thoughts, panicky, nausea, sad/crying non stop, thoughts of death, tremors and back pain issues. I did cut out processed meats, fast food, caffeine, dairy and eating clean. What’s scaring me the most is this dark/doom symptom I’m having like there’s no point to live and I’m never been suicidal in the past just anxious person who worries a lot, but recently been feeling depressed. I truly want off this drug but want to know if what I’m doing in terms of dosage was the correct choice or should I have stayed on 50mg back in November and stabilized. PLEASE HELP ME Started my menstrual cycle 3 days early this month, today being day #1 and feeling depressed and down like I have no reason to live. I hate feeling like this I have 4 little kids who need their mother. Current medication: 25mg of Setraline magnesium citrate vitamin D 50 thousand( dangerously low) 2mg of melatonin My history *November 2018-2020 on and off 50 mg of Setraline (never experienced severe withdrawal) Cold Turkey Setraline December 2020 did fine for 4 months til I started having intrusive thought freaked out and started 50 mg of Setraline in May 2021 *May2021- August 2023 50 mg of Setraline *August 2023 25 mg of Setraline Didn’t know there was a such thing as severe withdrawal symptoms *First Noticed severe withdraw symptoms late October Loss of Appetite, anxiety attacks (never had these ) freaked out tried to reinstate at 50 mg for 6 weeks had more nausea, acid reflux vomiting, and insomnia throughout the 6 weeks so I went back to 25mg Sertraline . *Late December 2023 intrusive thoughts emerged.

Hi people, I am kind of desperate as I feel really weird for the last week or so and it is not the anxiety or the depression that I started the antidepressants for (at least this is how I perceive it). As you can see in the signature, there were a lot of changes and adjustments since I started the antidepressants. My current doc (will have a meeting with her on Wednesday) recommended to go up to 150mg of zoloft and so I did, in December. But by the end of December I started to feel super anxious again and upon google research (doc not available during the holidays), I decided by myself to drop back to 125. A week after that I started to feel really good, maybe best I've been since I started the medication. It lasted about until around 20th of January when I started to feel another increase in anxiety. Contacted the doc and she recommended another drop, to 100 mg. About 5 days later I started to feel a bit better, but only for 2-3 days. Then the weirdness started. I now have a feeling that I haven't had before (of course, I might perceive it like that since the mix of depression and anxiety with OCD and health anxiety on top is a BOMB cocktail), like I am not the same anymore, a dreamlike feeling, a bit dissociative, a bit emotionally numb, a bit of confusion, ability to focus on something dropped a bit etc. Feels a bit like the derealization I had when I felt into depression, back in summer 2023, but without that severe depression. I fear that my brain got permanently "damaged" (a bit illogical, I know, but the fear is there) from all these meds and adjustments. I feel this new state to be even scarier than the anxiety attacks I was having in Autumn (at least I was feeling better after an attack, for the rest of the day, optimistic and hopeful) because I am in it the whole day, with minor ups and downs. Can I actually feel this way because of the last drop in dosage? If so, why I haven't feel this way when I dropped from 150 to 125? Lately I was thinking that upping the escitalopram dosage from 10 to 20 mg, back in September (I had a rough week right after I returned from holiday, anxiety was through the roof the week before I went up on 20 mg) was a mistake and maybe I just had to push through and stay on 10mg. I have the feeling that I have been overmedicated since then. I actually dropped back to 10mg mid Novemeber (and then switched to zoloft) after I complained several times to my doc that I started to feel a bit weird, mood shifts during the day, like feeling great in the first half and like **** in the afternoon. Also, I am seriously thinking in the last few days to start weaning off the poison, because I started to believe these meds are actually doing more wrong than good (of course, these words may come out just because I feel super off lately) I appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks!