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Dear All, this is my first post and I hope it is in the correct area. I also hope my signature has my drug history in it - it did take a while to craft. I, like so many here have been blindsided by this horrible withdrawal process. My story is profoundly similar to you all. Needless to say: one and off for serval decades, believing the 'top-up' version of serotonin. Acknowledging the authority of the GP that an antidepressant is the answer for my now and into my future, experiencing years of minor checking in for repeat prescription. ... Friends suggesting that I would be silly to go off them etc. Repeat, repeat, rep.. Yet I was putting on weight, I was frustrated that there was no sexuality in me and I was getting more scatty. MY Life however was very good, issues were behind me. Time to leave the tablets behind. So after an apparently fast taper off Sertraline (not that I understood that at the time - I thought I was being responsible) - originally 100mg for several years then 50 mg for 6 months, then 25mg for a month, then ceased Nov 1st 2023 - I experienced the world of horror that is invisible to everyone else. Panic set in and I decide to reinstate so I can come off properly (hindsight knowledge). I scour the world for advice. CAUTION is what I read. Three GPs say 'its simple' go back on 25 or so then 50 back to 100. SA and Quora comments say go low and slow. I have sought advice from Dr Horowitz email address. I have searched tapering sites. and other forums/Facebook groups. I have read SA reinstatement info (but I am not taking much in particularly well). SO I recommenced Sertraline two weeks ago. First 6 days - 5mg Next 6 days - 10mg Last 2 days - 15mg I have had tiny several hours of peace on the days I introduced or increased the doses then dread and tension join me again. Are these good signs or not? I aim to get back to 50 mg at least - my last stable dose. But how to do this? Have I reintroduced Sertraline back into my body sufficiently that I can make a larger jump or should I continue this 5mg increments? Am I exacerbating/compromising the beautiful nervous system of mine more by these low doses? Has the gate closed on Sertraline for me - now 9 or so weeks out? Do I take Lorazapam in tiny amounts while waiting for the Sertraline to take effect? Etc?? I am keeping clear of all substances except for a probiotic daily. I cannot work properly in this state I have crashed into. My daughter is too frightened to talk to me although she texts with loving thoughts. One sister, who has NO idea about this, keeps me company at times and for this I am grateful. I yearn for a companion of this reinstatement journey. Please may I have some advice if it is out there. Peace to you all...

Late in 2013 and early in 2014 I was experiencing severe depression relating to toxic exposures and extreme workload in the glassworks I worked in. My brother made note of an orange discoloration of my skin which neither of us recognised the significance of yet most likely was caused by liver failure. During the first week of February 2014 the heatwave raised temperatures outside of the factory to 45C, with temperatures inside likely reaching 50C. Equipment breakdowns, resulting from the heat, intensified the workload and I finally collapsed from heat stroke. Due to understaffing I was left lying on the factory floor without assessment of help. I was forgotten and took five hours to recover sufficiently to try to return home. As I, and other workers, were convinced that the corporate management was willing to kill us I quit the job but never recovered. In late March, when my GP referred me to mental health services after I became suicidal, they assumed full responsibility claiming that my condition was completely unrelated to my employment and that they could quickly and easily cure me. I was detained in a mental health ward. The initial antidepressant (type unknown) left me almost comatose just an hour after the first dose so I was switched to sertraline. Anyone given this knows the intense bouts of akathisia it induces during the first couple of weeks, and I was no exception, treatment seemed to go fairly normally. After just two weeks they declared me cured, released me from the ward, and switched psychiatrists on me. Two weeks later my health collapsed and depression returned. I later worked out that impaired liver function had increased the half life of the benzodiazepine medication (lorazepam), used in the ward, and that they had been suppressing the symptoms of my illness during my detainment. The sertraline itself had absolutely no benefit with all improvement just an illusion created by the benzodiazepine. My sertraline dosage was doubled and the treating psychiatrist refused to believe me about its ineffectiveness and the subsequent rapid increase in negative side effects to it. During the first week of July I experienced a migraine which lasted for around thirty hours. When the clinic opened on the Monday morning I was still experiencing the migraine and called the clinic begging them to let me stop taking the sertraline. I was threatened with detainment and forced treatment if I failed to take it. An hour after taking it I experienced the first of three thunderclap headaches, smashed my home, almost committed suicide, and spent hours trying to walk off the resulting intense akathisia despite the sunlight burning my eye's. Over the next six or so weeks I experienced the other two thunderclap headaches with around fifteen subsequent hyperintense bouts of akathisia driving me to walk miles over the next two years. For five years after the first thunderclap headache I experienced the constant intense electric feeling of adrenergic storming as well as a constant urge to kill, which was likely a consequence of my liver issues in combination with the adrenergic storming. The treating psychiatrist, who had been subject to repeated complaints by patients and who was responsible for a patients death in the ward during my time of treatment, decided to cover up my adverse response and claimed that I was faking my condition. That claim left me with almost no medical care over subsequent years. Throughout the following years I suffered from intense illness which has since been diagnosed as a combination of autoimmune myopathy (myositis), gall stone induced jaundice (prior to cholecystectomy a few years ago; evidence of the long period of illness was present in the form of adhesions surrounding the gall bladder found when it was removed). Barrett's oesophagus, chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension, and a range of other lesser issues.

Hello all, long time reader first time poster. Firstly I just wanted to say how awesome it is to have such a place to go and receive help for what can only be described as a nightmare that thousands of people seem to go through. So here is my story which I will end with a few questions I have. As you can see from my signature, I was placed on 50mg of Sertraline (Zoloft) in September 2009. This is when my life was turned upside down. I was originally placed on this drug because I visited my local doctor comlaining about some anxiety that I was getting after I drank alcohol. I must say that for a period of about 8 years I was a heavy binge drinker. I was a typical 18 year old who went out every weekend and got blind drunk with his mates. This was obviously starting to take its toll on me once I hit 25 years of age and that is why I visited my doctor. Well I was in there for a total of about 10 minutes before he prescribed me 50mg of Zoloft telling me this would help with taking the edge off of my anxiety. I did what he suggested and this was the worst mistake of my life. I returned to the doctor within 10 days of starting 50mg complaining of the worst symptoms (severe agitation, anxiety and now depression). Unfortunatley I could not see the original doctor so I saw another doctor there at the time. He said I must need a higher dose and that 100mg was the normal dose he puts his patients on. He also prescribed valium to me (which I took a couple of times). The next 3 months of my life was like a horror film. I became suicidal with severe symptoms that I had never experienced before going on the drug. I seem to settle after about 3 months, but it must be said I never was without symptoms, but they were less severe. Around 12 months after starting the drug, I began to get more severe symtoms. I returned to the doctor and he once again up'd my dosage to 150mg. The next 3 months were a nightmare again, severe agitation etc. For the next 6 years I floated between 100mg and 150mg. I spent thousands of dollars on therapy to treat an apparent panic disorder; although I didn't mind the therapist, the information we went through just didn't seem to apply to me i.e. I wasn't thinking any of the ways he was suggesting was causing my symptoms. It wasn't until I started looking into more natural ways and researching antidepressants that I realised that maybe the drug could be the problem! Lightbulb moment! I have read a lot of books from authors like Peter Breggin, Joseph Glenmullen, etc. which I am sure most of you have read. I also have been doing a lot of work with a nutritionist. I had a 23andme test done and found out a couple of interesting points. I have a COMT gene mutation which means I break down adrenaline and dopamine slower and I also have a mutation in another gene which I can't remember the name of which means I break down serotonin slower. What this actually suggests to me and my nutritionist agrees is that I may have been quite toxic with levels of serotonin which was causing serotonin syndrome. Alot of my symptoms were a mirror image of serotonin syndrome (agitation etc.). So as you can see from my signature, I began tapering in February 2016. My problem now is that I seem to have hit a huge brick wall. I may have tapered a little fast and was hit with severe withdrawal symptoms which have not gone away. I have been holding at my current dose of 60mg for almost 4 months now. This past 4 months has been the worst 4 months of my life. It started with severe symptoms like pounding headaches, vomitting, insomnia, not being able to sit still (severe agitation) as well as some depression. It has progressed from there to now being just severe depression. I am not depressed about anything in particular other than the way I feel. It is like I am completely numb with emotions aside from being really upset. I have no appetite and really struggle to get through each day. I am very fatigued and lack motivation to do the most basic of things. I am pushing through it as best I can still working fulltime and excercising a couple of times a week plus playing golf on the weekend. I must say that I have a great life. I love my job, I have a beautiful wife and young son (8 months) and honestly have everything to live for. It is just these horrendous symptoms are ruining it all. So finally to my questions and looking for advice from some veterans on here. What should I do next? Should I continue to hold at 60mg until things get better, or should I continue at a 10% taper and see if things get worse or perhaps better? From previous drops, I seem to have a period of improvement on symptoms for about 2-4 weeks, and then it begins to decline until I drop again. I am not sure whether that means I should keep reducing or slow down. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks all.

I have been a member for a while here but I actually have never participated in the forum. Quite frankly, the signature and history part is too overwhelming in the past for me to do just because going through it is admitting the longevity on my situation and bringing it up at any junction is painful. I was wondering if someone can just guide me on what is needed. I have been on antidepressants for 30 years. I have been going through a rough patch (if that is what you want to call it ) on a set of new meds. I have a history of bipolar. I cant guarantee my participation or how fast I will respond but I will try. I need some support overall.

I am going through withdrawal from setraline zoloft used for 22 years, have tried to quit but failed, hope to find help here and help others Haven't drank alcohol in 2 years, haven't had a problem with alcohol like that but drank too much when I did. Going to a psychologist Have not used other drugs only zoloft. When I took zoloft my highest dose was 100mg, withdrawal was if I remember 6 weeks 50mg and 25mg 4 weeks if I remember correctly I have made a suspension of 2.5 months with the end of the last tablet of 25mg 2023-11-06 But now I have severe anxiety and compulsive behavior. Have I made too short a delay? Anyone have any tips on how I should do it? Thanks have nice day

Hello everyone, First, I will start with a brief introduction, followed by my story, and finally, I will describe how I am feeling today. -English isn't my first language.- I am a 32-year-old man, a teacher who has studied psychology. I want to share my story because I found a lot of support in reading stories on this website, especially the success stories. Throughout my life, I have been battling anxiety. It's important to note for the upcoming story that I have never experienced depression. I've always been a very sporty, energetic, emotional, and motivated person. My anxiety mainly manifested as hypochondria, and I began therapy for it around the age of 18. This helped me a lot. I am still undergoing therapy with the same person—a psychiatrist who works both in a hospital during the day and as a private practitioner in the evening where he gives psychotherapy(which is somewhat unique in my country). At around 19 years old, I used Sipralexa (also called Escitalopram/Lexapro) for about 6 months. I felt a bit less excited and experienced sexual side effects, such as delayed ejaculations, it required a lot of effort to reach orgasms. I decided to stop the medication without tapering off, and fortunately, I didn't experience significant symptoms after quitting. About a year later, I started taking St. John's Wort (Sint Jans Kruid) at a dosage of 900mg per day, divided into three doses of 300mg each. I continued with St. John's Wort until the day my story begins. My story I still can't believe that what I am about to write happened to me and is still happening. I know it's a bit unusual to spoil the story, but yeah, I can do what I want with my own story: I'm actually getting better. 24 October 2022, Appointment with My Therapist, who is also a Psychiatrist After complaining about increased anxiety and stress, my therapist suggested trying something stronger than the St. John's Wort I was using. It was just a suggestion. Initially, I declined, and we didn't delve into it further during the session. However, at the very end, and to my regret, I said, ‘you know what, actually I am almost always stressed and anxious, let me try those meds: Sertraline it was.’ 26 October 2022, My First Dose I was prescribed Sertraline 25mg/day, to take in the morning. On this day, I stopped taking the 900mg St. John's Wort and took my first 25mg Sertraline in the morning. A few hours later, I already noticed the delayed ejaculation as described earlier in my story. Later in the evening, during a university class, I experienced a moment of confusion and detachment. For a brief period (a minute or 5), I couldn't see the point of being in class or even being alive. I knew in my head why I was in class and why I am in this world, but I couldn't feel it. Those 5 minutes were the worst thing I have ever experienced. Later that evening, I had to leave the class due to a panic attack, larger than any I had experienced before. (I had never left class before). The day after, in the morning, while working on my computer, I couldn't focus. The letters on the screen seemed too much, and they were a bit 'dancing,' like when you move your phone while trying to read a message. I texted my psychiatrist and was told it could be a side effect that possibly goes away (at this point, I didn't talk about that weird 5 minutes in class). Then, a few days later, I wanted to surprise my dad while he was fishing, as I always did, because it made him very happy. However, this day was different. I arrived at the lake, and there he was, my dad, already smiling because he had a feeling I would come and sit with him for the rest of the day. As he grabbed another chair out of his car, because he always brings one for me, he said, 'aaaa here is my son!!' Normally, that would make me feel so happy, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't imagine why sitting there would make me happy, and it broke me completely. To see my dad confused when I said, 'No dad, thanks. I'm feeling very tired. Just wanted to say hi. I'm going home now.' 4 November 2022, The Day Hell Broke Loose Due to the sexual side effects and the weird moments of 'mood drops' - not feeling connected or seeing the point - I decided to quit Sertraline. My last 25mg tablet was the morning before (3 November). I had taken it for 10 days. 10 AM: I went to the barber, felt anxious, and couldn't relax for a second. I was in continuous fight or flight mode. 13 PM: I arrived home and experienced pure horror, a feeling that hurt more than anything I could imagine. I didn't want to live for another minute with this feeling, not a second. It was too hard. I ran into my big brother's room and said, 'I don't know what's going on, I can't take this anymore.' He asked, 'What?' and I replied, 'I don't know, I have this feeling I can't live with.' I tried to explain as best I could and said, 'I would rather be in a wheelchair without legs for the rest of my life than endure one more minute with this feeling.' (To be clear, I don't want to compare situations of suffering; it just came to my mind at that moment to try to find words for what I was feeling). But now I know, you can't describe this feeling with words; only the people who have experienced it will understand. Later that evening, I felt a bit of relief, but still in pure hell. This is actually a very clear trend/lifeline in my story: the evenings are (almost) always better. At this point, I was without Sertraline or St. John's Wort: the mood drops and sexual side effects were definitely caused by the Sertraline because I did not experience them on St. John's Wort. The next day, I started taking St. John's Wort again. The next months are pure hell, feeling almost nothing (except pure horror) during the day to feeling relief in the evening. Let me explain in more detail: -I will regularly add dates to my story so it is easier to follow. (I always used to count months in the success stories to compare to myself; I know everybody has their own timeline of recovery, but I still compared.)- 4 November - 13 November, The first week without Sertraline, With 900mg St. John's Wort/day again, I didn't notice any improvements and called almost every day to the Psychiatrist (PSY) to tell him I can't live with this feeling. Due to my psychology study, I made sure to include that I am not feeling suicidal. This was a lie, but I was sure I was not going to do it. My psychiatrist made sure I could come and visit at least one time every week and could call or text him at any moment. I count myself lucky to have a person like him as my therapist. The first thing he said was, 'I never had someone telling me about these problems, and it is not described, but that does not mean that you are not feeling this. I am here and I am not too old to learn.' This made such a big difference. 14 November 2023, I told my PSY about possible withdrawal 'I think it's withdrawal!' I said and was told that this is very unlikely because I was only on the medication for 10 days and that it didn't reach my blood-brain barrier. But also, he asked about my theory, how the medication could cause me to feel this way. I told him I can't really explain, and we consented that if it would be withdrawal, it would go away when the medication is reinstated. He prescribed me a magistral preparation of 5mg Sertraline so I could take this instead of 25mg. I will add a schedule, maybe it could be of importance for anyone: 14/15/16/18 NOV: 10mg Sertraline, no St. John's Wort. While writing this, it is getting clear to me that I got even worse: Almost no sleep, more horror. 18 NOV: 25mg Sertraline + 1 tablet of 'Deanxit': never took it afterward (this day I was really bad and called the doctor and psychiatrist on the same day). - As you notice, I actually start going up with the medication hoping it would make this horror go away)- 19 NOV - 30 NOV: 25mg Sertraline - Getting worse, so quick taper- 1 DEC: 20mg 2 DEC: 15mg 3/4 DEC: 15mg + 1 St. John's Wort (300mg) 5-11 DEC: 10mg + 1 St. John's Wort 12 DEC: 5mg Sertraline + 2 St. John's Wort (600mg) - the lower I went with the Sertraline, the better my sleep got- 13 DEC: 0mg Sertraline + 3 St. John's Wort (900mg) 1 January 2023, goodbye to life as I knew it In the following months, the feeling of pure horror is starting to fade a bit and it gets replaced with anhedonia and depression: not able to enjoy anything and not feeling the motivation to do anything. Switching from almost not feeling (except anxiety and just feeling bad) to feeling a little bit of emotion. In the evenings, it always got a little bit better, and I had an occasional laugh but not the same as before where I would really laugh. Important to know is, I couldn't enjoy ANY activity, I actually did things just to distract (try) myself from this empty filthy numb feeling. Example: I used to love photography. I went from a little idea to finding myself miles away in the city to work out a creative photo project. I couldn't wait to get home and share my pictures with friends and family. 'Oh, is it already time to sleep? I want to edit a bit more!' But at this point, I just walk and walk. I don't want to walk... why do I even hang this camera around my neck? ..., why take pictures..., let's go home... why home? What will I do there, waiting and hoping I will feel better one day. Also, I am not able to work anymore at this point due to what I am going through. June 2023, it got a little bit less intense, 8 months into this. As the months went by, I noticed that bad got a little less bad and the evenings got a little bit better: for me, this was huge, but don't expect much of it. Examples: -5 minutes without thinking about all this -5 minutes without surviving -Brief thoughts about getting back to work (before I was very sure I would never work again) In the evenings, I was able to relax a bit and feel positive. Example: Morning,I can't take it anymore VS Evening, it will all be alright one day... Also, I noticed that I am getting DEEP pain when I think about my family or my grandma who passed away many years ago: I start crying, like deep suffering, howling like a wolf for sometimes hours. I will come back to this later. November 2023, am I really getting better? 13 months in It is hard to talk about this now because I just told my whole story, and I am very much reminded of all I have gone through, so I feel exhausted, empty, and scared. Actually, I do feel scared every time I want to say something positive because I think it will all be bad again. I noticed that sometimes I (just a little bit) wanted to go to my family in the evening because I knew it would make me feel better (before it was just killing time, hoping to distract myself). The deep cries and suffering I told you about are giving me relief. WHAT RELIEF? I didn't expect to ever get that again. How Am I Feeling Today 1 January 2024, the day of writing this Story. 14 months in Happy New Year to all of you. I am proud of all of you for still being here, and my biggest wish for this year is for everyone, including me, that is suffering, to say: 'Happy New Year again in 2025, and who knows it really is happy then.’ For me, it was difficult to see all the people celebrating and being happy, but then I reminded myself that if I am in a group of people giving kisses and saying happy new year, no one would know that I am actually not that happy. I think this is a beautiful thing: I will always remind myself that a lot of people struggle, and I want to be here for them. At this point, I am able to play games and laugh a bit, watch series and enjoy it a bit. There are moments where I feel good without thinking too much. The mornings and the bad moments aren't that bad anymore, and the better moments can actually be a bit good sometimes. I am looking for a new job because teaching, standing in the spotlight all day, isn't for me anymore. And when I think about a possible new job, I really see it happening (don't know if I am already capable), but seeing it happen is a HUGE thing considering what I am going through. I Am Tapering SJW In the months before, I also noticed that I am feeling worse after forgetting to take one or two tablets of SJW, and I decided that I want to quit SJW. I made a plan according to the tapering instructions on this website: 10% drop every 4 weeks. I am now at my second drop of 10%, that means 2 tablets and 236mg* of a tablet. *The weight of a tablet is not the same as the active ingredient: 1 tablet weighs 555mg and contains 300mg of the active ingredient SJW. I am calculating my 10% drops on the active ingredient. I am now at 742mg/day SJW (active ingredient). SJW is not known for withdrawal, but 2 days after every drop, I feel (a lot) worse: no motivation, more tired, not enjoying things, mood swings and after about 6/7 days, it feels back to before the drop. So, I am sure I had an adverse reaction to Sertraline, and also the SJW is giving me withdrawal (I used it for more than 10 years, as you can see in my story). The End, for today:p I still have a long way to go, and there will be a lot of moments/days/weeks where I think I will never get better, but I am grateful for the progress I have made so far. To actually believe that maybe one day I will feel good/normal again gives me a lot of relief and hope. One thing that always makes me feel better is to be able being there for people who are suffering, so I will write updates and answer questions if any. Finally, I would like to take the time to thank everyone who is building this community, especially Altostrata: I admire your power to get through all the suffering for so many years and afterwards helping so many people like me. Please know that your work, together with my family and my psychologist, made me stay. Kind regards, Berlin

Long story short, I went to see my GP when I was in my early 20s with a list of printed off depression symptoms and without offering any other suggestions, I was prescribed Sertraline (I'm the UK, I believe it's commonly called Zoloft in the US?) Anyway, about 4 years ago I began a long journey of intensive therapy and healing after a traumatic childhood experience came to light, and on this journey, I carefully tapered my Sertraline down to 50mg; and then this year down to 25mg. My problem is where next. I have read these forums in great depth; trouble is my GP has told me they cannot prescribe liquid; and the 25mg sertraline tablets I take are smooth round ones that crumble horribly when I try cutting them. My GP said I can just stop now I'm at 25mg, but experience from reading people's accounts suggests it just won't be that simple. I want to do this properly - I don't want to be medicated for the rest of my life and I'm in very much a different place than I was back then. As I near 40, my coping strategies are solid and I have a wonderful network of support. Maybe I'm overthinking it and I can just drop to alternative days from 25mg then stop after a settlement period? Unfortunately my Doctor hasn't been much help at all, so I'm hoping someone here can perhaps give me an insight. I once tried their recommended taper of 50mg every other day (I think it was last year) but the brain zaps were too much for me (I have an 8 year old child and while my husband is around too, being debilitated for most of the day isn't really an option for me). I can appreciate and tolerate a certain level of discomfort, I know this isn't an easy journey by any means, but it was absolutely too much and I don't want to fall into that trap again and become disheartened. Really humbly grateful for any guidance, thank you for reading.

Hi, this will take a while to write down as i’m suffering to remembering things clearly. When I was 16(2013) I got diagnosed with ADD, social anxiety and a learning disability. I was put on Atomoxetin and Sertraline where I refused to take them most of the time as I just didn’t want to be different from the other kids. Didn’t experience any side effects at all and I quit taking the pills CT a year after without any WD. In mid 2018 I was put on citalopram 20mg and seroquel(25mg but told me I could take up to max 75mg a day and switch between doses if I felt like I needed it) for sleep, after I developed an ED and a depression due to a past abusive relationship. had severe side effects at first, but wanted to feel better desperatly so I held out. In 2019 my anxiety got worse and my doctor increased my dose to 40mg of citalopram and lastly to 60mg. In start 2021 I began feeling almost sicker, having severe headaches, extreme irritability, stomach aches, bloating and numbness. decided I didn’t want to live like this, I educated myself on the medications I was taking and I was shocked to say the least. I contacted my doctor and we started started tapering down from 60mg citalopram in 2021 in May to 30mg, with no problems but experienced extreme withdrawal when i tapered down too fast from 30 to 12mg after a month. on a steady dose of 15mg of citalopram from July up to now. Been Tapering down on quetiapine from august 16th 2021 to (75mg, 50mg, 25mg, 12mg and been on 6mg for my last dose in April 2022. I wanna keep updating my progress here since i’ve had horrible withdrawals from the quetiapine tapering for the past 4 months, with very little windows.

HI everyone, I am so glad i have found this forum, After 10 years of being on Sertraline 200mg a day, and Gabapentin 900mg a day for 7 years i am well in the throws of withdrawal , this has been the hardest thing i have ever had to go through , i was missed diagnosed 10 years ago and actually now realize that there was actually nothing medically wrong with me , i just needed a bit of support and understanding but instead was put on medication, i am going through hell with these horrendous withdrawal symptoms, head zaps ,sickness, diarrhoea, hot sweats, fatigue, ear ache, painful mouth, headaches, severe mood swings, headaches, depression, dizziness, the list goes on , this now is just over a month it is wearing me down , sometimes i feel and see how far i have come but then 3 hrs later i seem to be back where i was, its hard to dig deep when there is no one around you that knows what your going through or what you feel ,will i ever be back to how i should be ??

I’m unsure on the right terminology because I’m not sure what I believe anymore so please bear with me. last year after ten years on citalopram I had a sudden relapse in depression and anxiety (you could say I pooped out but who knows). The relapse has crippled me and it’s immeasurably worse than the first time around. It’s consumed me and I feel like I’ve lost my identity. Through this period the doctor changed me to sertraline and again to venlafaxine. Both of which had zero effect. I wanted to look at exploring more naturalistic remedies (not sure how appropriate it is to discuss this on this format so I will leave that there- but happy to hear people’s stories and experiences of doing that) but I’ve had a really tough Fortnight and when I went back to the docs this week he wanted me to try mirtazipine. I have taken that for two nights but after a chat with my therapist this morning who’s very critical of medications and the role of seretonin in all this I’m questioning if it’s the right thing. It’s all so hard when you are extremely desperate and just want relief really interested to hear everyone’s views and experiences

Hi SAD Community, I've been visiting this site as a resource for a while now, and am at a point where I need advice/support from some of you with more experience than myself on this extremely difficult journey. I'm a 32 year old male, and I've been taking Sertraline (Zoloft) since I was 22, with a short (but horrific, after tapering too quickly and going back on after several months) layoff at age 25 - so effectively for about a decade. I have also been on Gabapentin as a "mood stabilizer" since age 25. In that time, I also took Bupropion (Wellbutrin) SR for several years, but had to stop cold turkey a little over two years ago due to intolerable side effects that began when Sertraline seemed to stop working so well. I've intermittently used Adderall IR and Ritalin as well in low dosages throughout the past 7 years. Although going cold-turkey from Bupropion was very difficult, I was already at a difficult point in my life regardless, and for the most part recovered after several months. One year and 3 months ago (August/September 2022), I began tapering Sertraline from 75mg, using the support of this website. I've followed protocol and tapered by 10% every 4-6 weeks using a tablet + liquid formula for precise measurement. I have gotten down to 41mg and have remained stuck at this dose for several months now. Once I realized I was stuck with Sertraline, I've tapered the Gabapentin a bit, to try and "even" the cocktail out. I'm down from 2400 to 1800mg. I remain stuck at 41mg of Sertraline and 1800mg of Gabapentin. The depression, anxiety, rumination, and general lack of all motivation is about all I can bare right now. I had to move back in with my parents, as I find myself unable to even keep a job. This has put tremendous financial strain on myself and my family, who are attempting to be supportive, but are at about the end of their rope with me. I, myself, am at the end of my rope. I am barely functioning. To make matters more complex, I had an appendectomy in 2016 that never totally healed correctly, and now that I'm down on my meds, it seems that some of the symptoms from complications are rearing more of an ugly head - namely, abdominal pain, a problem with blood flow to my male parts, and GI issues. I cannot really eat, as I rarely have an appetite, and anything I eat during the day makes my belly distend grossly, with worsened lack of motivation, depression, and anxiety. At night my mood seems to lift a bit and my appetite comes alive. I have questioned if the issues with blood flow to my genitals are early signs of PSSD (as my lubido is certainly down, despite always having had a high lubido, even on Sertraline), but I am mostly very depressed and ruminative, and can luckily perform and finish with my girlfriend pretty much fine. The issues "down there" seem to be stemming from what I suspect are adhesions compressing my inguinal canal from surgery. I'm currently working with a doctor about the possibility of having surgery again to remove the adhesions. I also suspect my GI issues are, to a large degree, the result of adhesions possibly obstructing my GI tract. I'm aware that the medications have an antimicrobial effect, and I suspect pulling them out has gradually allowed bad bacteria to flourish in an already-hostile environment. My doctor confirms this could be the case from his assessment, and we are currently awaiting imaging results to make a better judgment call before consulting a surgeon. I mention the complications with my abdomen because my somatic experiencing has been highly flawed since surgery, which I numbed with medications and marijuana for years. I was a competitive weightlifter, and it completely derailed my career. I can barely workout these days without increasing pain/discomfort. I also cannot fully breathe into my diaphragm, which I used to be able to do with great affinity, being a highly trained weightlifter. I'm certain that my lack of somatic experiencing is contributing to my worsening mental state as the meds have been pulled out, simply due to lack of ability to diaphragmatically breathe in and of itself. I have explored this topic in EMDR therapy and always come back to it when processing my mental states in relation to my somatic experience. I'm seeking advice on what direction to take. Part of me is attempting to hold out until (hopefully) getting surgery before making anymore medication moves, to see if it frees my abdominal cavity/diaphragm so that I can begin exercising more intensely and hopefully begin addressing GI issues. Another part of me is at the end of my rope and considers going back up on Sertraline, or trying something else, to manage the extreme depressive and ruminative states. I cannot focus on anything but these problems. I have always been an anxious worrier and a ruminator, since I was a little kid, as long as I can remember. I question why even bother getting off these meds, as I wonder if there's even a person "underneath" who can function without them. I should also mention that I've displayed some "traits" of borderline personality disorder since I was a teen, although never receiving a formal diagnosis. Fear of being alone/abandonment, a lack of consistent identity, and deep emptiness have typically been themes for me, although lessened to a large extent when my meds were fully in effect. IF I were to try and go back up on Sertraline, what are the chances it even works still, or doesn't cause a paradoxical reaction? How would I even go about this? And, given the other issues - abdominal/pelvic problems, underlying mental illness my whole life, finances - where do I even begin to assess my situation? I also consider reinstating a low dose of a stimulant, as I have been diagnosed ADHD, and a stimulant takes away at least 70% of my rumination and inability to get things done. The issue there is, while down on my other meds, the side effects once the stimulant wears off are far more pronounced (anxiety, jaw tension, insomnia). I would need something else to "take the edge off", particularly at bed time. I'm very aware that no one can make these decisions for me, but perhaps some of you have dealt with a similar situation during tapering, and can perhaps help someone with a ton of executive dysfunction currently sort out these variables. I cannot keep up this level of functioning, and I'm very concerned, as I'm not even halfway off of meds yet and it's already this bad. Please help, or at least just say hello.

I am a 70 year old man who has been on Zoloft for about 25 years and wants out . I take 100mg daily and I do not trust my current medical practioner to help me to finally get clean.

Hi, I just signed up today. Started taking sertraline February 2021. Was initially on 50g and after a few weeks put up to 100 mg. Developed stiff hands, jaw and throat to point it affects speech when really tight. Also memory loss etc but not what is bothering me as much as the physical symptoms. Severe bruxism even with mouth guard. Stopped taking abruptly after 6 months as wanted to see if jaw and hand problem went away. It’s been over two years and still no different. Has anyone experienced similar. Thanks

Hi everyone, Wanted to introduce myself. I am no stranger to these bizarre symptoms often associated with withdrawal: dizziness, brain fog, hypersensitivity to light & sound, DP/DR etc having suffered with an awful case of chronic vestibular migraine after having my 2nd child 7 years ago, brought on by a case of PPD / anxiety. I had all those symptoms 24/7 for a good 3 years, then started to see upward improvement. Got myself to a very good place through nutrition, 4 days per week of strength training & supplements (including 5-htp) for the past 4 years so aware these neurological symptoms can take time to heal. Then just after Christmas, had another attack of anxiety & severe depression. Interestingly a lot of the symptoms I had before started coming back...dizziness, feeling disconnected from everyone, feeling like I was seeing the world behind glass, brain fog, couldn't organise my thoughts, migraines, no motivation for anything & sleeping a lot. I work full time & with 2 children, I needed to get back to functioning. So went to the GP who prescribed me Sertraline 50mg. I was desperate to feel back to normal again. I stopped taking my 5-htp (was on 80mg before bed at this point) for a coupe of days prior, and Knowing my sensitive nervous system, I started Sertraline by titrating slowly; cutting the 50mg in half to 25mg, then cutting that into quarters. I started by taking a quarter of 25mg, then over the course of 7 days, worked up to 18.75mg. From the first dose & for the whole week I suddenly just could not sleep like before. It was taking me hours to fall asleep & when I finally felt I had drifted off I would be in a very light half sleep, being awoke by the smallest thing. Though the small dose of Sertraline had actually taken away the dizziness & brain fog, the lack of sleep had me feeling like a zombie. It was not a trade off I wanted. So I stopped at 18.75mg cold turkey at day 7. Sleep did not improve. This was 2 weeks ago now. A couple of days after I stopped, I decided to try re-instate a low dose of 5-htp seeing as previously this had always helped me sleep. It did not help & in fact made things worse. I had sweating, racing heart, tremors, awful anxiety, dizziness, brain fog, depression came back but worse. Appetite went, I really don't feel like getting out of bed at all, I force myself to keep working out & it takes an enormous amount of effort, knowing that if I don't work out at all I will feel even worse (not overdoing it but doing something at least). So now I'm back to square one, I feel the same, or maybe slightly worse than when I first got hit with vestibular migraine symptoms 7 years ago. Daily life was an exhausting struggle back then, I couldn't believe how disabled one could feel whilst looking 'normal'. With all the weird derealization symptoms, light & sound sensitivity, brain fog & dizziness & couple of new symptoms this time - insomnia & weakness. Knowing how long it took to feel better last time scares me, but I am also comforted by the knowledge that I did get better, much better & know I can get there again. But this time it feels like there's a lot more on my plate in terms of responsibilities - maintaining a job, 2 kids who need me etc & it does scare me. I'm also struggling to differentiate between what might be a return of my old symptoms & what may be due to any withdrawal symptoms as there are many which are identical. I've just ordered melatonin and planning on taking a low dose of this to see if it helps my disrupted sleep cycle as finding it so hard to function on barely any sleep! Anyway, hello to all who have to walk this rocky path. I will post updates as I go along with anything that I have found that helps. Also looking to connect with anyone in particular who has taken a low dose SSRI for a short period of time...

Hello all, I have been reading this site for awhile but recently decided to join. Please forgive me for any misspellings or anything poorly written as my brain is not what it once was as a result of these drugs. Even finding the motivation to write this post took me multiple days. My parents were very pro-medication at a young age, I developed OCD around age 10 and took Zoloft for approximately 2 years as I was told I needed it to get better. I was also on Ritalin from age 5-13. I went through most of high school and college unmedicated, until the end of college around age 21 deciding to seek out adderall again as my grades were starting to take a hit. I also had a breakup at the time and a doctor put me on 40mg fluoxetine (prozac). I wasn't even that sad but he said it would help take the edge off. I didn't think twice about this drug after taking it, and somehow ended up taking it for the following 10 years. Fast forward to age 31 (about 1.5 years ago) Things were going incredibly well in my life, recently married, job going well, driven and enjoying life, and I looked at my pill one day and thought, Why am I still taking this? I learned about the long half life of this drug and since I was told 10mg was the lowest dose, I asked my doc to change to 10mg which he did without a real question. I went from 40 to 20 to 10 in about a month, and then started taking the 10 every other day, every third day, every 4 days, and so on, until I got to one pill every two weeks. Since this was the minimum dose, I figured this was the most drawn out "taper" possible. I took my last pill somewhere around October of 2022 and oddly enough, the 2-3 weeks that followed were incredible. Life was brighter than it had ever been, I was happy and motivated to take my life to even another level i had not yet experienced. About one month off the drug, I started to notice some very strange effects. My body and mind did not feel right. I had extreme mood swings and fatigue, complete loss of libido that has never returned, and other symptoms. I got my testosterone tested and it was very low, in the first percentile for my age. Health is my biggest passion and I had done nothing to cause this, I had continued my extremely healthy eating, active lifestyle, great sleep etc so I found this very odd. I eventually went back on the drug for approximately 1.5 months to see if it helped with my issues and libido (and I had genital numbness), but it didn't seem to make any meaningful difference (I also dont think I tried it long enough) so I did the same "taper" again around Feb of 2023. Looking back my taper was probably more of a cold turkey than a taper, given my last dose was still a full dose (10mg). My testosterone level started to improve, but not without a ton of other symptoms coming and going over time. Whole body pains, cognitive issues, weird mental issues like extreme difficulty making decisions among other things. This has been an ever evolving range of symptoms, with some things sticking around changing in severity and others coming and going. My current symptoms which have been around for quite some time are an extreme lack of motivation and a strong sense of apathy. This is also accompanied by severe anhedonia. Every simple task has become difficult, and I often feel like I am stuck in the mud with the way I interact with the world in my new state. I struggle to work my job in whhich I have been a high performer for many years, and I require a lot of daily assistance from my wife and father. I feel like a burden on those around me, I am no longer the same person and I keep desperately searching and trying to find that person again. I have considered a reinstatement, but do not want to slow down my recovery - but at this point I am getting kind of desperate for some relief. It is hard to say if I have experienced any real windows, but I guess things are changing, even if not for the better, which signals something is going on in my body. I continue to care for my body in every way imaginable from a great diet, sleep, exercise. However I am sure there are other things I could be focusing on to heal more quickly. Open to any and all suggestions or advice. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

May 2024 be a year of healing! At the end of April 2023 I had a total knee replacement. 10 weeks later out of the blue came adrenaline surges. I did not understand what was happening to me. My stomach shut down and I couldn't sleep from all the surges. When I reflect I think I was in a very sensitive state from being on an antibiotic and aspirin and nsaids for 10 weeks. I have always had a difficult time with meds. I went to my doctor and she put me on Zoloft to increase my serotonin. I was reluctant but trusted the doctor. After 13 days I was lying on my couch a human zombie. I didn't want to die but if I did I was ok with it. I had so many side effects. My doctor wanted me to push through but I said no. I did not know anything about tapering so in 5 more days I was in WD. Though I didn't know it. I had some ok days then the adrenaline surges and insomnia and intrusive thoughts hit me. I ended up in a facility because I was scared and thought I needed a new med. They put me on effexor. Then I descended into the darkest pit. After 19 days I got out and my new doctor had me do a quick 8 day taper. During the taper/ CT I found myself in the worst mental state of my life. I was scared of everything but knew I would not go on another med. I found SA and the success stories have been a life line. I knew nothing about this only that a friend had been through something similar and made it through. I cannot believe what my body and mind have endured the last 4 months. I came here because I need some peer support. My husband has been a rock telling me I will heal everytime the depression crashes over me and I have a hard time believing this is my life. Which is almost every day. I have had a few days where who I am is stronger than the symptoms and I can feel a little hope. Usually in the evenings there is a break. Only had a few minutes/ hours where I felt almost myself. I'm looking for positive support where we can commiserate but ultimately there is a building up of each other. I am trying to accept this healing and would like to make a friend or two that gets it. I still have some very debilitating days. My belief in God and my husband have held me when I wanted to let go. I will add a signature but I need to go through my journals which triggers. Wishing and wanting for everyone peace and love and healing!

Hello, I was prescribed olanzapine 10mg three years ago for postnatal psychosis. I have experienced side effects from this so they kept me on it sometimes upping my dose. I was also put on sertraline two years ago. I am now on 10.7mg of Olanzapine and 100mg of sertraline.I plan to lower my olanzapine 5% every two weeks until I get to a lower dose of 2.5mg then I will lower my sertraline before coming fully off the olanzapine. I have not yet discussed this with my doctor I will ask him to prescribe me a lower dose every three months when I see him as he does not agree with me coming off of it completely.

I am 47 years old have been on anti-depressions for 11 years. I was on venlafaxine for the first few months early 2012. While it helped, nausea was unbearable so I switched to Cymbalta. I was on cymbalta until Early 2017. When it started to lose its efficacy, I switched to Zoloft (sertraline) quickly. I was up to 200mg per day through the end (2022 summer) and I wanted to sleep 24/7. With my doctor's approval, I weaned off in 30 days. (Looking back - this was definitely too fast) I have been chemical free for the past 30 days. While the withdrawal symptoms are still there, they are definitely getting better every day. Reading a few comments here helped me a lot already. I feel very hopeful now. One final note - It is amazing to me how doctors take this so lightly. They prescribe these drugs like they are m&ms and they switch your medication like changing your bed-sheets. And when it is time to wean off, they treat like it is nothing. Shame to the medical system!

Hi everyone! Good to finally be a member on here - I am so pleased I came across this site. I would really appreciate some thoughts on my SSRI journey to date and where things currently stand, as I am feeling a bit lonely and in that mindset where 'things will never get better' and I'm going to end up a slave to antidepressants and anxiety for the rest of my life. Sorry for the long post but I really want to explain my journey with all of this... and I appreciate you taking the time to read it all. I was first put on on SSRIs (Citalopram) by my GP in March 2015 as I was experiencing strong physical symptoms of anxiety with related depression following a relationship breakdown, and 'fear of the unknown' following graduation at University, getting a job etc. I don't remember much about side effects of Cit when I first started it, but I do remember that after being increased to 20mg it made me feel the happiest and most confident I had felt in a very long time. I considered it a 'magic pill'... Even through a really really tough life event it didn't falter. In March/Apr 2017 I felt that perhaps the Cit was no longer working as it had been - I was feeling quite unmotivated and fatigued. Spoke to my GP who recommended a switch to Sertraline. Again, I don't recall how I was switched - whether it was direct or cross taper, and I don't recall whether there were any substantial side effects. However I don't think there was, as I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. I was stabilised at 100mg. I never considered myself to have any major issues on Sertraline. But, I did start to suffer randomly from panic attacks in 2018 when driving on the motorway and I am not sure what triggered this - and this never went away after it started. In January 2020 me and my husband decided we would like to start trying for a family. I had no knowledge of SSRI withdrawal and because of this, like many people, I naively assumed that I would have no issues coming off them. My GP recommended a taper schedule over a really short period which was about 4 weeks, dropping from 100mg to 0. It was a while back now so I can't remember the exact taper schedule but I do remember it included taking a tablet every other day... I got pregnant pretty much immediately in the Feb, and alongside this Covid and lockdown happened. I never considered that withdrawal had hit me hard - in fact I felt pretty good. However a lot of day to day responsibilities went out the window as we were pretty much confined to our homes during that time, so life wasn't quite how it usually is, with less pressures and being able to work from home etc. Looking back now, I probably did have some withdrawal symptoms but it is difficult to know for sure, as I was pregnant and there are lots of things that come with that too, so it is hard to differentiate. When I was around 7/8 months pregnant I started to have occasional high blood pressure, visual disturbances, locking finger joints etc. Monitoring and tests were done regularly but no adverse effects found, no signs of pre-eclampsia etc. My high BP wasn't high enough/consistent enough to be medicated. I went into spontaneous early labour just over 36 weeks and labour was fine. However post-partum was a rough ride. I didn't feel well pretty much as soon as I left the hospital. Dizzy, nauseous and jittery. I just put it down to having a baby, as I didn't know any different about how you should feel following labour. 3 days later I developed chest pains and when lay in bed felt like what I can only describe as a heavy band across my chest. Tested my BP and it was ridiculously high, around 193/124, which resulted in being re-admitted to hospital and commenced on hypertensive medication. Cue the extreme anxious, panicked state and immediately all I could think was that I needed to go back on Sertraline to stabilise me. Looking back I wish I hadn't made such a rash decision but it was almost as if my mind was eager to get back onto it. I wonder whether this may have been some kind of protracted withdrawal. Tests never found anything and they just put it down to pregnancy-induced hypertension. The crazy part of it was my GP recommenced me straight onto 100mg rather than building me up gradually. He advised 'you were on 100mg before so you'll be fine'. I have never felt so ill in my life. Everything got so much worse. I remember my hospital window overlooked the psychiatric unit and I was convinced I would end up in there. My BP was erratic even with the medication - they couldn't understand why it would randomly jump back up. I was discharged and readmitted 2 to 3 times because of it. I developed insomnia, I had burning/tingling feelings in my arms and chest. My pupils were so dilated. No appetite and chronic diarrhoea. I developed neck and shoulder pains, shortness of breath. My throat would sometimes feel like it was closing up and like I couldn't swallow properly. My arms felt heavy. I felt in a permanent state of fight or flight. Visual disturbances and tinnitus. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. Everyone kept telling me it was my anxiety even though I knew it wasn't - it was nothing like the anxiety I had experienced before starting antidepressants. At the time I was convinced it was side effects from the BP meds and that they had sent me crazy. I was so desperate to come off them to feel better. I was eventually off the BP meds by end of December 2020, as following home monitoring and a weaning schedule it was felt my BP had stabilised to normal levels. During all of this time I went through the 'windows and waves' of feeling OK and then not so good. And some symptoms persisted despite being off the BP meds. I thought the meds had messed up my nervous system even though I was on them for a pretty short space of time. I never questioned it being Sertraline because I'd never had any issues with it previously, it never came into my mind. After stabilising on Sertraline (which I feel took a hell of a long time this time round - at least a year), my anxiety has been OK, aside from some panic attacks now and then - again whilst driving. However I have always felt 'off' since what happened - I do not feel like I used to (pre-pregnancy). I have gained weight and struggled to lose it despite efforts to eat well and exercise regularly. Like my metabolism is non-existent. My hair is thin and limp. Fatigue. I suffer with tinnitus so much. Cracking and aching joints during exercise, which I would assume is sign of inflammation. Shooting pains in my arms and side. Intolerance to alcohol which I never used to get (high heart rate and feeling jittery/anxious). High heart rate and anxiety in situations that do not warrant this response and would have never generated this bodily response previously. I also get bad white coat syndrome but appreciate this may just be something I have got to deal with, after what happened. I have had some scans, blood tests etc and nothing has been found other than a B12 deficiency, for which I received some injections but did not notice any improvements. Again, people just put it down to my 'GAD' but this is not how my GAD used to present before all of this. Up until now I had never really registered any of these issues perhaps being related to Sertraline. Indeed they may not be. But fast forward to where I am now, I am starting to question some things. In July 2023 I approached my GP to advise that I wanted to try for a 2nd child and wanted to wean off my Sertraline, as I didn't feel like I had any issues doing that before... I was weaned down over 8 weeks from 100mg to 0 (50% cut from 100mg to 50mg which I stayed at for 4 weeks, and then 50% cut again to 25mg which I stayed at for another 4 weeks before discontinuation). I experienced mood changes and unusual angry episodes. Groin and leg pains. Some slight insomnia. Had the burning/tingling once or twice. But I did feel more energised, my tinnitus seemed to improve, I was more motivated and less tired. I went on to have 2 consecutive miscarriages, one month after the other. After the 2nd miscarriage I was nearly 8 weeks off sertraline. My anxiety went through the roof. I googled the crap out of why I'd been unfortunate enough to have 2 recurrent miscarriages. I convinced myself I'd got some kind of blood clotting disorder. I was anxious and jittery and yet again my mind returned to recommencing Sertraline, thinking it would save me. I started back on 50mg on 30th October 2023 after being med-free for 8.5 weeks. After a couple of days my anxiety intensified. The insomnia started, the burning feelings, flushed cheeks, erratic heart rate, tinnitus, visual disturbances. Feeling wired, ruminating/OCD thoughts, no appetite, diarrhoea. It took me back to how I felt when I went back on Sertraline in 2020. I then considered that what I had experienced before was not from the BP meds, it was from the Sert. However this time I had a new experience thrown in - suicidal ideations (but not the will to act on them). After 4 weeks of windows and waves, I looked back on everything over the past few years and felt I needed to try something different - that maybe some of these issues will go away if I try a different SSRI. My GP recommended Escitalopram and advised I could do a direct switch from one SSRI to another with a similar half-life. So one day I was on Sertraline 50mg, the next day I was on 10mg Escitalopram (6th December 2023). I hadn't noticed any significant side effects after starting the Escitalopram. I didn't feel any worse and my windows seemed to be getting better over the past 4 weeks. I thought that I was well on the road to stabilising. However over the past week my anxiety has crept up a little, and now these past couple of days, everything has ramped up again, similar to when I started on Sert. Ruminating/OCD thoughts, feeling wired. Insomnia 2 nights ago, slept ok last night. Burning feelings in arms. Flushed cheeks. Could I be experiencing withdrawal from Sertraline even though I have switched to Escitalopram? Or would this be a sign that the Escitalopram is not working for me? I feel really lost on what to do next and I am constantly questioning it all. Do I increase my Escitalopram. Do I sit tight and wait to see what happens even though it is so difficult feeling this way... Once again I am sorry for the essay but it is nice to be heard and I am so appreciative of any thoughts and advice anyone can give me on all of this. My eventual aim is to be off SSRIs (as I just feel like they have messed me up and I worry about the long-term impact of taking them - 8 years I feel is already long enough). However right now my priority is to be stable - for myself and for my family. Charlotte

I started taking either 10mg or 20mg of Fluoxetine around April 2018 due to anxiety and severe panic attacks, which I was on for two weeks and then switched to 25mg sertraline in April 2018 (due to having adverse reactions to the Fluoxetine which ended up making me feel depressed). I was on 25mg of sertraline from April 2018 till June 2018, which successfully alleviated my symptoms and I ended up stopping it cold turkey as I assumed that it was due to lifestyle changes (moving home locations & new job etc) that my anxiety/panic attacks had stopped and I no longer needed the sertraline. This resulted in episodes of manic behavior, mood swings & long bouts of depression which sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts. I ended up back on 25mg of sertraline from August 2018 till September 2018 which did not help my symptoms of manic behavior, mood swings, depression and I also ended up having anxiety/panic attacks. Due to the further regression of my symptoms my doctor put me on 50mg of sertraline from September 2018 till April 2019 and referred me to a psychologist. Due to my symptoms not getting any better over that period, I was then placed on 100mg of sertraline from April 2019 till January 2020 which alleviated my symptoms of depression, manic episodes and mood swings but I was still left with anxiety symptoms and panic attacks. Due to still having the anxiety symptoms and panic attacks I was placed on 150mg which eventually alleviated my anxiety symptoms and I have been on this level ever since. I am planning on starting a brass monkey slide taper of 10%.

Hi Everyone, My journey with Sertraline started at the ripe old age of 10-12 years old (I’m 31 now-my mom and I can’t seem to agree on when exactly I started taking meds). I was also on adderal or vyvanse at this age as well. In 2018 I decided I wanted to try to get off of meds. I started with the vyvanse. I went from 60mg to 50, and dropped 10mg a month until I was at nothing. Really didn’t experience any issues. Then I went to the Sertraline. I dropped from 200mg to 150mg and really only had a few brain zaps that went away after a few days. Six months later I dropped from 150mg to 100mg, again with only brain zaps and some irritability. During this time I moved to France to be with my husband (summer 2020 mid lockdown) and after 6 months there I decided I wanted to continue to go down because we knew in the next year or so we wanted to try for a baby. I had read a few forums so decided to take it a little slower this time. 100mg to 87.5mg. For the first time I experienced a decent amount of withdrawal symptoms. Mostly flu like, palpitations, but nothing I couldn’t get thru. After two weeks they dissipated. I then went directly from 87.5 to 75mg. Same thing with this cut but after a couple weeks, mostly dissipated with the exception of extreme anxiety and random weird intense pains throughout my body. Fast forward to a month later and all hell broke loose. The worst panic of my life (never suffered from panic attacks before besides ONE in late 2020 after moving) horrible horrible DP/DR (mostly DR) to the point that I really thought I was going crazy. I would begin each morning with a good barf and have diarrhea throughout the days. I ended up losing about 12lbs in a few weeks. No appetite. Everything made me feel weird and I cried nonstop. My doctor told me to take a low dose of Xanax three times a day for two weeks and honestly it helped. I stopped the Xanax after three weeks (I decided to continue a little longer) with no issues. Or no immediate issues that I know of. About five months after this in mid 2021 I decided to do a SLOW taper, 2.5-5% every two weeks. I ended up stopping around the 61mg mark because my panic was getting so bad, I had an EIGHT WEEK MIGRAINE and I just couldn’t keep it together. At this point I also had my first intro to inner restlessness, or mild akathisia, located in my chest and under my armpits. This only lasted about a week but really freaked me out. After two and a half months of staying at 61mg I decided to continue to go down, this time no more than 2.5% decreases. It seemed to go ok at this rate. I was still suffering from bad OCD and anxiety but there were no physical symptoms. My last cut was when we moved back to California in Feb 2022, a few months ago. I experienced another bout of weeklong mild inner restlessness at this point but again I ignored it and it went away. Had two weeks of dizziness but was told it was a vestibular migraine. I ended up spot taking bromazepam at a low dose for a couple of weeks because it helped suppress the dizziness. Now two weeks ago, Late April 2022, I was sitting at my desk at work and like a switch I felt the internal restlessness start again. This time more intense than before. It continued at the same intensity and ramped up this weekend. I have such a ball of energy/tickling in my chest and throat that I start each morning dry heaving. I have no appetite. Lost 5lbs in 3 days. This weekend I’ve also had full body tremors and complete panic crying spells and dread because of it and my fear of akathisia being permanent. I don’t know if this had something to do with the bromazepam, late hitting withdrawals from earlier extreme cuts, huge life stressor of moving countries, new job which is very stressful or what. I feel like my CNS is shot and I don’t know what to do. I have to function and work to help provide for my family, being disabled in bed is just not an option but it’s where I’m at today. I caved and took a bromazepam because it calms the akathisia and I couldn’t just lay in bed and roll around in a panic any longer. I really need some help.

Hello everyone , Thank you for this website and forum. I can't believe I have only recently found you,(since viewing the Four Corners show in ABC TV in Australia. I shed many tears watching the show. I was started on 25 mg sertraline by a young GP back in 2006 after I was burnt out from a stressful job (and a prior 4 years full time study to be a naturopath), subsequently had lost some purpose/direction in life. I was not diagnosed with a mental health condition just given a referral to a psychologist. I did start to feel a little better, then she said to go to 50mg. Went along like this for maybe 12 months, they put me up to 100mg (can't remember why). No big crises, maybe I was still burnt out. It did give me a bit more energy and I felt more confident and I seemed to be able to do more. It took away my bodies internal barometer I always thought. I am by nature an introvert with less energy. Or more passive energy I could say. I felt very ashamed that I had to take such a drug, given I was a naturopath. Alongside my drug, I ate well, exercised, took herbs and some vitamins/minerals, etc etc. I tried twice to come off in those early days (say 18months post starting), however got a few days in to 0mg and restarted with an instant relief from symptoms (brain zaps, irritability, worry). Jump ahead to 2019 and I reduced (25mg drops) from 100mg to 25mg over a few months. Started to get irritable , brain zaps, not feeling myself, so went back to 50mg with all settled again within a few days. I was so un happy about being on the drug for so long I wanted to have another attempt, more slowly this time with the help of another experienced naturopath/herbalist. I started reducing from 100mg then to 75mg, no symptoms of withdrawal. Then 2 months later I went down to 50mg, still smooth sailing with no symptoms. A few months later I went down to 25mg (i thought this was slowly!!) and this is when some symptoms started. Brain zaps, crying, sleep not so good. At this time I also had three major life stressors happen (financial, relationship, aged parents). I thought I was having an extended grief period. About 6 months on 25mg I suddenly had a week where I felt good for the entire week or so. So I thought I would go to 0mg! Here the trouble started. I cried for days in a row, which felt like an out pouring of years of not being able to cry or grieve "properly" while on sertraline. I continued to cry frequently. I kept pushing on. Brain zaps which finally stopped after 2 months. The neuro emotions were becoming worse, however. A black cloud would descend over me which were a frightening blend of fear, disconnection, anxiety, depression, doom, fear of dying, fear my animals would die. I had a day of violent nausea and gut cramping and crying at about 4 months on 0mg. Appetite had been waning for awhile. Sleep more disturbed. End of February 2023 I had to arrange for my old horse and goat to put to sleep. Leading up to this I had shocking anxiety and fear. I had an episode of panic/anxiety/fear that lasted 12 hours non stop. I couldn't stop the thoughts, chest pain, gut pain, numb lips. I couldn;t function until it stopped the next morning. 1 or 2 weeks later after the vet had been to euthanise my animals I had a worse episode (12 hours after starting back on 25mg sertarline)where I felt the needed to call ambulance. I went to emergency (they thought I was having a heart attack on my journey, so did several ECG's en route ) they kept me in for a few hours , I settled so they let me go home. I had to arrange someone to come and help me at home as I couldn't function to look after myself and my animals. They gave me 2.5mg on valium in hospital which settled me for a an hour and yet again I was back into extreme inner restlessness , where I wanted to die as I felt so dreadful as if I was coming off some illegal highly addictive drug. Luckily I wasn't shipped off to a psych unit, although I did feel I was having a "nervous breakdown'. It was living hell and I thought I was going mad. I have never in my life experienced such horror. I still had no idea it was protracted withdrawal. Other symptoms were diarrhoea, low sodium, weakness, nausea, early morning waking with panic/dread, anxiety, agitation, disconnected. It took my weeks/months to stabilise. I had sensitised myself to the sertraline. After taking each dose in the morning I would get worse anxiety, heart palpitations/pain, polyuria and other things I forget now. Brain way too active at night, sleep still bad. They wanted back to 100mg more quickly than I new I could tolerate, so I did my own thing and took longer between 25mg increases. Back to 100mg for a month or so. Felt too stimulated, so I went back to 75mg. No symptoms of withdrawal. During this very traumatic time I took maybe 12 doses of 5mg valium. I was so measured with it as I knew it would make things more complicated. I hated taking it except for the first few doses when it was the only thing that gave me a break from the relentless mental torture. Emotions/mood fairly stable on 75mg, found this group, plan is to taper (as per your guidelines) starting in a month or two. Plan to make my own liquid as compounding pharmacist too expensive here in Australia. Sorry for my long story!! Thanks for all your supportive posts I have been reading and other helpful information. I feel being on this drug so long, it has affected my unconscious mind and my psycho spirituality. I am grateful I am still alive and have not suffered as much as some of you have. I feel for you. Thanks for reading if you made it to the end.

Hi everyone! My name is Rubied and I live in the Netherlands. This is my, hopefully summarized enough, story. I would be immensely grateful to get any response on this thread and to hopefully be able to continue posting so I can get some relief out of the situation I'm currently in. I'm 29 years old, suffered a major trauma/abduction at age 17 which changed my entire life. Barely lived, but survived, for years, without any medication. Moved to the Netherlands end of 2018 to start my career, and started really suffering psychologically with the compounded effects of trauma, moving countries, starting a job etc: depression, starting hearing/seeing things, severe untreated PTSD and anxiety. For the first time in my life I got psychological help, at the end of 2019. In 2020 I was started on 25 mg of Sertraline to help with the depression, which got increased to 50mg in 2021. In 2022, Sertraline got increased to 75mg as my depression wasn't improving much. Due to a psychotic episode I had in 2022, I got put on 5mg Abilify. Then, February of this year, my father died, I got promoted, my job offices changed, and my manager changed, all in the same week. It sparked another psychotic episode and I was put in psych ward for 1 week and increased to 10mg Abilify. Meanwhile, important to mention: I come from a family who never really believed in 'mental illness' or mental health drugs, they believe in 'natural healing' with sunlight and being around animals and so on. I spent some weeks with them and they influenced me to quit my psychiatric drugs as they believe it does more harm than good in the long run. In my latest episode I had a 'vision', where we are living in a type of 'Matrix' controlled by superior beings who are experimenting on us with medications and other random life events. So all of this has influenced me. However, I like to think I am of sane mind currently, and I would much rather pursue a 'natural way of living and healing' and come off this scary medication I've been put on. I have tapered from 75mg to 50mg sertraline for 4 weeks now, so currently I take: - 10mg Abilify - 50mg Sertraline I would like to safely, taper off all my medication, and I know this is the internet, but if you have any good advice for me, I would be deeply grateful. I am currently typing this, very emotional, having spent Easter alone in my room with stomach cramps from nausea of the increased Abilify, and sick of this medication nightmare. I just feel in my gut, no pun intended, that medication is not the right approach with me and it doesn't feel right, those are my main motivators if I have to be honest, besides the side effects which I haven't delved into much. Thanks if you have read this thus far, -Rubied

I would be incredibly grateful for some advice about antidepressant withdrawal. I don't trust my doctors or psychiatrists anymore. I am 40 years old with no history of mental illness until about 11 months ago, when I began overreacting to a number of problems in my life like skin issues and threats of lawsuits, and this led to a two-month period of psychosis that gave rise to severe depression (according to the doctors here). It was very intense. I live in Frankfurt, Germany. Once I began to calm down and realize that these fears were unjustified (around February), the depression symptoms seemed to get worse, and I began to have physical problems like dizziness, vertigo, and derealization. This led me to think there was some neurological damage, and so I had an MRI and EEG done but with no findings. I began seeing a psychiatrist around this time, who gave me a prescription for Olanzapine, but I didn’t take it due to my strong aversion to pharmaceutical medication. However, by mid-March I was feeling so awful and had starting having difficulty sleeping. I could fall asleep, but I would wake up after three or four hours and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t see any other option but to check into an inpatient clinic, where the doctors started me on 5mg Olanzapine and 50mg Sertraline. The Olanzapine helped me sleep, and I was hopeful that the antidepressant would begin working quickly. After a few days, the dizziness and derealization subsided. However, after about seven weeks (and increases to 100mg and 150mg), I was still feeling depressed, and the doctors switched me to Venlafaxine in late May, initially 75mg but quickly increased to 225mg. It was at this time that I left the inpatient clinic with the intent of continuing Venlafaxine at home. Occasionally I tried skipping the Olanzapine, but whenever I did I couldn’t stay asleep. And after six weeks of Venlafaxine, I felt no better and decided to discontinue (against the advice of my psychiatrist). I tapered down to 150mg to 75mg to 37.5mg over a period of 15 days (each dose for five days). I completed the taper in mid-July. I didn’t notice any withdrawal symptoms during the taper, but once I was off completely, the brain zaps, nausea, and restless legs began. But I also noticed that I no longer needed the Olanzapine to sleep well, as if the Venlafaxine had been causing the insomnia. The brain zaps were not painful and didn’t bother me too much since I was expecting them to go away soon. And after about two weeks, the zaps were hardly noticeable and I was feeling much better. I was happy about this because it was just a few days before a vacation I had planned to Florida. Throughout the entire 10-day vacation site-seeing and soaking up the sun, I hardly noticed any symptoms at all and my mood was great. It was as if I was completed cured. Unfortunately, the very day I returned to Germany at 7am from a long overnight flight (this past Sunday), I began feeling unwell again, like nauseous or a queasy feeling in my stomach and chest accompanied by low moods. I was hoping it was due to jet lag, but it’s been an entire week now and there hasn’t been any improvement. I can still sleep well fortunately but I have a pronounced feeling of being unwell most of the time and I feel very fatigued and unmotivated to do much. No dizziness, pain, or cognitive issues. Given that I felt virtually symptom-free while in vacation, are my current symptoms are more likely to be a continuation of the withdrawal or some sort of (travel-induced) depression relapse, or something else? Could I already be going through windows and waves just a month after stopping the antidepressants? Just to summarize, I was on antidepressants from mid-March to mid-July, including the two-week taper. So about eight weeks on Sertraline (mostly 100mg) followed immediately by eight weeks on Venlafaxine (mostly 225mg). I was also taking Olanzapine for most of that time, occasionally taking Pipamperone instead. Thanks in advance for the help and insight!

Hi! I wish to document my withdrawal experience here. I’m 21 years old. I started taking sertraline in August 2022 for what was really rather annoying if not terrible OCD. Not long after, I felt that I really should not be on medication, that there was value in my overcoming my OCD through therapy, good habits, and other things. I had actually planned to stop after my second dose, but waited a day and changed my mind, taking a third and final dose of the medication. It seems that the third dose caused some terrible kindling - I had terrible anxiety and was extremely dissociated and emotionally numb, though generally in a positive mood. I also had bad side effects (sexual side effects, bruxism, and more) and had extreme anxiety and dissociation after my last dose of the drug. So I stopped for good after that. Honestly, I’m not sure where I’m at with this whole withdrawal thing. For the first month after stopping sertraline, I was actually in a good way. Sure, I complained about emotional numbness, sexual dysfunction, and a diminished sense of taste. I also had TERRIBLE neuro-emotions. But I was physically very well! I rejoiced because I didn’t have anhedonia and could do a lot of activities with great interest, and I did try to be proactive about healing - getting sun and eating fish oil and getting exercise. My sense of taste, appetite, and sexual function improved as well. But my complaint was that something felt different. I had a blank mind and my emotions were not all present. Also, my sexual function was not completely back, and I kept using that as a measurement of my recovery. (Wrong!!! It was completely unrelated to my ability to enjoy a good meal, engage in work and hobbies, etc. - in my case, I did all of those things while experiencing sexual dysfunction, and it was silly to think it had an outsized effect.) In hindsight, though, things were very good and have unfortunately gotten worse. I think after my long window in September, I firmly hit a wave a few weeks ago this month (October). My mistake throughout September was reading PSSD forums and discussions that made me think I was absolutely positively in the dumps, resulting in me complaining and despairing. I worry that all my neuro-emotion and anger from that time has aggravated a lot of pain and anxiety. So has my pushing myself to socialize with friends, as well as my frustrating my whole family with terrible neuro-emotional outbursts. I can almost identify the particular one that plummeted me into my current wave - I was screaming and crying, and things only got harder from there (I felt physical fatigue and the seeds of my current symptoms right after). If only I did not activate my neuro-emotions so much of the time… it would have been much easier to read a book! Currently, I have what feels like bad neuropathy - skin sensations being uncomfortable through out my body - and increased emotional numbness, cognitive dysfunction, and anhedonia, perhaps because my nervous system is so overwhelmed right now….. And I may not have truly gotten any restorative sleep recently due to the neuropathy. I feel physically sick and mentally extremely slow, whereas before I felt emotional and mental malaise but could have take my mind off it so much more easily. (Music, books, shows, word games, and exercise are all great for that.) I don’t feel like I’m in a state of flow, and thoughts don’t flow from my mind as fluently as they usually do when I write. The positive interpretation of my situation is that the influence of the SSRI is truly wearing off on me, and my body can now finally truly discover its old homeostasis without the cushion of the SSRI I may still have had in September. The negative interpretation… is irrelevant for me right now. I’m trying to take it slow, not be too stimulated, and take good care of myself. I do have some questions: have people have been through similar things and lived to tell the tale? More specifically, has anyone else had neuro-emotions really throw a wrench in things, but still find their way back to a window? Also, I want to make clear that I’m not interested in reinstatement; my long term goal is to heal from this experience without an SSRI. I do believe in the possibility. I’m also really thankful that this website exists and that so many people have compiled all these amazing resources to help people heal and get off antidepressants. Also, before I update my signature, here is my drug history: Sertraline 25 mg, August 19, 20, and 22, 2022 (possibly sensitized by some herbal medicine on October 22, 2022 - or maybe just a huge anxiety attack because I thought of the possibility - I haven’t mentioned it in the body of my intro topic because I think neuro-emotions are more relevant to what I’m currently feeling)