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  1. Hey there, I'll try to make my intro a bit shorter but its still kind of long. Was put on Effexor 150 XR at age 15 due to anxiety and depression (my mother is narcissistic and I developed a lot of self hatred from it. Older brother is also bipolar and made my life hell). Took that med until I was 28 (13 years). Worked with a nurse practitioner (for psych meds specifically) who tapered me off over the course of 2.5 months (waaaay too fast) by taking the little beads out of the capsules. My meds pooped out and I didnt feel I needed them anymore. Did great for 3 months, then my anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks, followed by depression. Insomnia due to anxiety, no appetite, emotional shutdown. Was put back on 75 mg and then raised to 150mg again, but since I had seen how vibrant I was without these drugs, I hated being on them. After moving across the country I asked my new doctor to move me down to 75 mg. I felt less flat but the anxiety was bad. Moved back up to 112.5 mg, but felt "meh" about everything. Tried Pristiq 25 mg for 2 weeks and was moved to 50 mg. 5 weeks in I had a horrible reaction-- anxiety, depersonalization, sweating, diarrhea. I didnt feel real. I told my doctor to lower me. Tried 25mg for 6 weeks. Still had diarrhea and apathy at 25mg. Was moved to Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks. I told my doctor I wanted to stay at 25 mg zoloft because I didnt want to become an over-medicated zombie. She said 25 mg wasnt a high enough dose to treat me, and I trusted her more than myself so I increased. After 3 weeks was moved to 50 mg. After 3 days on 50 mg I started being really spacey, dizzy, feeling like I was in a dream. Had insomnia. I would feel better every day as the med wore off closer to my dosing time. Felt like I wasnt real and didnt care about anything. My doctor said to wait until 5 weeks to see if my symptoms improved. I said no and told her to lower me to 25 mg. Stomach was still so bad after the debacle with the Pristiq that I had dropped 17 lbs at this point and needed an endoscopy and a colonoscopy, where they found nothing was wrong. 1 week after reducing to 25 mg Zoloft my stomach started improving. It wasnt a slow taper, she just had me half my tablet. I've been on Zoloft (Sertraline) 25 mg for 18 days as of writing this. Throughout my journey I've been moved up and down doses of Effexor every 2-3 months, I got to experience effexor withdrawal and new side effects from the pristiq at the same time, and I got to experience pristiq withdrawal and zoloft side effects at the same time. I'm currently having headaches, dizziness, apathy, and some sexual issues. Stomach is better but not 100% yet. Have pressure in my head a lot of the time. It feels like my head has cotton in it. I'm in therapy finally dealing with my abandonment issues from my mother's narcissism. This whole thing has been a huge lesson in trusting myself. A big part of me is scared that I've ***** up my brain, and that the apathy wont ever go away. I feel like I've made a big mistake. My partner has said that over the past few weeks I seem more myself, but I don't see it at all. I've begun doing some more things I enjoy, but a lot of the time I'm not enjoying them very deeply. A lot of the time I just want to be left alone. I guess I just want some support, since I'm so scared. How did I even get here? I just wanted to be happy. tldr: couldnt handle 50mg Zoloft, currently on 25mg for 18 days. Brain is effectively a scrambled egg. Timeline: Effexor 150mg XR 13 years, came off over 2 months, 3 months off. "Relapse" and put back on 75 mg, then 50. Lowered back down to 75 for 2 months, then raised to 112.5 for 2 months. Pristiq 25mg for 2 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks. Back to 25 mg for 6 weeks. Zoloft 25 mg for 3 weeks, then 50 mg for 5 weeks, now back to 25 mg for 18 days.
  2. Hello, After nearly 20 years of my love-hate relationship with citalopram, I would love to taper. My doctor just boosted by prescription from 30mg to 40 mg a few weeks ago - and the old subtle shakes have started up. Makes me extremely uneasy. I've tried to taper myself many times over the years, usually by chopping off larger and larger bits of my pill. Was able to get down to 15 mg or so, but was never successful -- and was DEFINTELY not a precisely measured approach. Tapering feels intimidating to me. Actually feels insurmountable, but I know it is possible. I do have 13 years of sobriety from booze, smokes, etc. so I know it's possible. Thanks for being here.
  3. Hi all, I’ve been tapering off of my drugs for a few months now and am finding that I need a local support group to help me through. I am bursting with information on this whole thing and am definitely wearing my family, friends, and boyfriend down with it all 😬. I am feeling alone and overwhelmed by the zeitgeist that is mental illness. Is there anyone that would like to meet for a cup of coffee one day? Thanks and sincerely, Breanne
  4. I was on Celexa 20 mg. for 10 months in 2015 for generalized anxiety disorder and mild/moderate depression, which hit me suddenly at age 65. Felt good enough to taper off over 32 weeks with no withdrawal problems, but 6 months after last dose, symptoms of anxiety and depression were back with a vengeance. Started Zoloft 25 mg in 2017 (probably should have gone back to Celexa). Increased dose to 50 mg within 4 months. Didn't like the way it was/wasn't working and didn't want to increase the dose. I'm really fearful of what these drugs can do. Tapered down to 12.5 mg over 19 months by 3.125 mg increments. Felt good until I hit 12.5 mg, then felt terrible and had to go back to 25 mg in August, 2019. Admittedly, I wasn't consistent in the tapering intervals. Some were 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 6 weeks, etc. depending on how I felt at each dose. I have been with a CBT therapist since 2017 which has really helped. Anxiety practically gone, depression is mild, but not like before. I really want to be off the Zoloft. Haven't slept well in 4 years and worry about what it's doing to my sleep patterns and who knows what else. I take supplements to help - phosphatidylserine, magnesium, omega fish oil. So.....I am now tapering again. Went from 25 mg to 21.875 over 10 weeks (decrease of 3.125 mg because that's the easiest way to cut my pills into quarters and eighths.) Just reduced again to 18.75 on April 14 and plan to stay there for 10 weeks. (My theory is it can take 4-12 weeks for an INCREASE in the dose to start working, so the reverse could also be true.) I think I'm sensitive to small changes in the doses. My question is - is 3.125 mg too large of a taper? I can slice my pills smaller with a scalpel if need be. Looking for advice about how to make this taper work so I can be successful this time. Any recommendations for doses and time line would be helpful. I don't care how long it takes, although at age 71, I don't want to take forever! Thanks so much!
  5. I was referred here by my therapist after voicing concerns when my general physician put my on venflaxine, the generic for effexor, about a month ago because of my anxiety. Due to my history with SSRIs (below), she wanted to put me on something different, and put me on this SNRI, and the effect was almost immediate. I am on cloud nine every day, have become more extroverted, more confident, happy about everything, full of love and excitement for the world. Honestly its was wonderful, it was like a weight was lifted from me, and suddenly I was free of the anxiety and depression that had been weighing me down for years. I am 21 years old, and I have been dealing with terrible mental health symptoms since I was 14, so having this relief felt like Heaven. But it isn't real. Its unsustainable. And I understand now that coming down from cloud nine is going to feel like Hell. I am on 37.5 mg two times a day, and one day I missed a dose, as happens sometimes, and everything became dark. There was no happiness in anything. Everything was terrible. The weirdest was that was like someone had stuffed cotton balls in my head, even for three days after I continued doses as normal. I was cautious starting this antidepressent, because I have had a bad history with them, and I hate the idea of becoming dependent on a drug. In the fall of 2017 a psychiatrist (who I no longer see after it was revealed he liked to experiment on his patients) started me on lexapro, and after about a month of really bad symptoms he weaned me off and got me on paroxitene. I never finished my perscription, and must have just quit taking them (don't really remember), but I remember having terrible paranoia/anxiety/weight gain while taking the drug. Now with venflaxine, I don't know why I started, but I want off before its too late. I am terrified. I am terrified of throwing myself back into the anxiety and depression that has plagued me for years, but I know I deserve to get better without this drug making me high. I am terrified of the withdrawal effects, because after missing a dose I am thrown off and basically out of commission (paranoid, cotton ball in head feeling, nothing seems to make sense) for days, and I am currently in school studying engineering, which requires I be on top of things every day. I don't know what to do, or how to escape this drug. I need advice. I am scared, because this drug has shifted my entire reality, and I know that shifting things back is going to be horrible. I need advice. How do I get myself off this drug, without completely sabotaging my life, before it is too late?
  6. Hi all, I am in a pretty decent place in life, and I have a few weeks with very few ”responsibilities”... I’m thinking it’s the perfect time to finally try to get myself off of my psychotropic of choice, Amitriptyline 100mg 1xday. Ive attempted to get off it before and made it a few weeks before feeling overwhelmed and going back to the pills. I would love some support and a place to vent throughout this process. Looking forward to meeting all of you.
  7. Hey everyone, My name is Abby and I have been off Prozac for 3.5 months now. I'm currently experiencing intense withdrawal and the return of mental states I never thought I'd have to experience again, and I would really like to connect with others who are going through similar during this long, difficult process. Background info: I always had tendencies towards anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (the Pure-Obsessional variety) since childhood. At 16 these symptoms very rapidly became so severe my whole life fell apart within a matter of days (Going on the contraceptive pill at this time may have been a contributing factor). I didn't have a full breakdown until I was 18, at which point I was taken to the doctor, put on Sertraline, and referred to psychiatry. The following 8 years consisted of several psychiatric admissions, different drugs including clomipramine, seroquel, mirtazipine, prozac, and possibly a few others for shorter periods. I lost pretty much everything, my obsessional fears were so strong that I attempted suicide more than once, developed a bad cocaine/mephadrone habit, was a constant worry to my family. There were times, however, where the medication would help a lot. At 60mg of Prozac I went through some periods of being functional - I went to work, got into a relationship etc. These were a great relief but I can't say I was truly happy as the fears were never properly dealt with. My last hospital admission was in 2014 when I was 24. I had attempted to come off medication as I believed I had to deal with the underlying problems, and I hated the weight gain side effects. Looking back, this was doomed to fail as I was still using cocaine regularly, drinking a lot, and didn't have any proper support mechanisms in place. I was fine for 6 months then crashed, was borderline psychotic with the OCD symptoms, depressed and anxious beyond belief and desperately wanted to die (and believed I deserved to). I was in a psych ward for just over 2 months before new meds kicked in - clompipramine and (randomly, I don't know why) Epilum, as I was told it 'balanced moods'. A year later I went back on to old faithful Prozac and also came off the contraceptive pill. I had always been told the same about it, that it leveled out moods, and don;t think it's a coincidence that my symptoms became much more manageable a few months after stopping it. I then managed to stay at 40mg for 2 years and my life changed drastically for the better. to myself and everyone around me it was like a miraculous recovery - I stopped taking drugs, began volunteering at a Buddhist meditation centre, got my dream job, published a novel, did newspaper interviews about my experiences, ...I pretty much had my dream life. It was like being reborn after thinking everything was all over...forever. It was in January 2017 that I decided to gradually wean off Prozac. Over the following 10 months I reduced until stopping completely in October. In these past 2 years I have done extensive mind training and spiritual exploration, which has probably been the main factor in this recovery. My life is pretty much dedicated to this practice now - I still volunteer at the meditation centre, go on meditation retreats throughout the year, and have also completed a Reiki Mastership. It was always potentially on the cards after exploring my mind with psychedelic drugs in the past, doing past life regressions and also taking Ayahuasca twice in ceremonies. It was around the time of the reiki mastership that I was weaning off the last of the Prozac. Things became challenging - but at first I welcomed it. I was in a strong place mentally, and my mental health hadn't plagued me intensely for a few years. I was made aware that the Reiki energy can churn things up to be healed, but I think that the combination of this, a massive flare up of a back issue that left me not able to walk for weeks, family pressures and intensive mind exploration during retreat that has led me to my current situation. Since December just passed things have been incredibly difficult. I have experienced a return of old OCD obsessions, to the point where I've had panic attacks for days that made my vision blur, heavy depression, crying all the time, existential fears and experiences which medically would look similar to psychosis (although I believe that term can pathologize important and natural inner processes), identity confusion etc. I knew it would be hard, I just never expected to feel this level of horror ever again. Having said that, I know things are different this time round - I have a level of insight gained through spiritual practice that is keeping me going. Energetically, I'm aware that I am creating this reality on various levels, and that I need to relax as much as possible to allow it to pass through the way it's supposed to. I'm no stranger to facing the darkest parts of the psyche, but it's still terrifying and I'm struggling to cope day to day. To make matters worse, my Mum has gone abroad for cancer treatment and I'm now caring for my little brother and sister 4 days a week which is incredibly stressful (I'm used to having my own space and being able to retreat when I need to). My CBT therapist has discharged me as she feels I cannot engage with therapy under this amount of stress, but encouraged me to come back when my Mum gets back. To be fair, she never taught me anything I didn't naturally learn in meditation and I was only seeing her regularly to comply with services. I have however started going for reiki treatments with the person who facilitated the course I was on last year - he is exceptionally intuitive, knowledgeable and takes an all round, individual approach. One session with him last week was worth a year of 'traditional' therapy. So I'm hoping that continuing with this will help. Anyway, sorry for the essay. I don't have many people to talk to about all this. It's also weird for me to ask for help now as I haven't needed it in so long - I'm usually now the one that helps everyone else. It's a scary and heartbreaking thing to go back to a place you thought you'd left long in the past, but I do believe deep down that I have done so in order to face my demons fully and emerge stronger in the long run. Thank you if you made it this far, I'm looking forward to connecting with others on this site. You are all incredibly strong to be doing what you're doing, no matter what stage you're at. Much love x
  8. Hey all! I am very pleased to have found this, what looks to be like a very well kept and informative supportive site . I have been within the mental health system for 16 years now, and it feels like my life revolves around it. I am beginning to see that I really need to step away assertively from my doctors and social worker to have greater independance and sense of identity. I have been on Olanzapine and Epilum Chrono, or Sodium Valporate for all this time and I really want to go without soon. I won't do so until I know i'm fully prepared and ready, but I feel like I'm getting there which is great.I hope that my doctor complies with my wish when it comes to it. I look forward to meeting some of you and sharing in stories and gaining and giving support. :-)
  9. The way a lot of folks in the pro-psychiatry group talk you would think that coming off their drugs always happens like this. "Consumer" wakes up on a bright sunny morning. After stretching and yawning she says, "Gee, I feel so great today I think I'll just stop taking my 'meds.'" After 2 weeks this individual spends over $1,000,000 on trinkets, has numerous affairs, steals cars in order to have accidents, and tries to kill herself. Tut, tut. That is not how it happened for me. It took me well over five years to screw up the courage to come off these drugs. I had always been frightened by the dire warnings about "terrible things that would happen" if I went off the brain drugs. I read over a dozen books and hundreds of blog posts on the subject. This would baffle so-called experts because they think we're all alike and only have one paradigm for withdrawal. Thanks to a lot of online resources like MIA and BeyondMeds I learned what not to do in coming off psych drugs. Despite my bogus Bipolar label I have already succeeded on going off Lamictal (cold-turkeyed 2 days after leaving hospital) and Abilify. The Abilify took 3 months to taper off of after 7 years. I have reason to believe it was causing frequent, painful fistulas. Glad I'm off! I have no mania either; according to the shrinks I should. Ha! In your face psychiatry! Now for the "Biggy." Effexor. Ugh. Already overwhelmed by crazy-making withdrawal symptoms. Will describe the worst one in my next post Using a micro-taper over a period of fifteen months or more. Slow and steady wins the race.~Aesop
  10. Hi! My name is Dianna. I was a member of Paxil Progress and just found out today the web site shut down. I tried to just stop taking Paxil and made it 10 days. I had no idea how bad it would get. I figured maybe a week but was determined to keep going. I caved because I couldn't handle how awful I felt. Paxil did make a difference for my anxiety but I sure wish I had done research. I am glad this site is here so I don't feel so alone.????
  11. Hi I'm not sure if I ever introduced myself so here goes. I found this site over a year after I c/t off of 4 psych drugs. Why did I c/t? For several reasons-one being the absolute ignorance of psychiatry about safely stopping. I was not told anything. A second was that years of 12 step recovery led me to think that this withdrawal would be similar to what I went through over 10 years ago. And that I would have support from people who knew me for a long time. Also, I didn't know about tapering and by the time I heard about it I thought I was past the worst of it and just held on. My experience: I was told by psychiatry that I would not last off the drugs and that I would either be back on them or hospitalized within 6 months. Neither happened. The 12 step folks in this area have all bought into the "dual diagnosis" medical model and most take psych drugs so when I said withdrawal they said relapse of symptoms. Even when I pointed out I helped them through their withdrawal and for some it took years my choice was seen as "non compliance" when I was really trying to save my life and get truly clean. So rejection from them too. Family had long bought the "chemical imbalance" story and would not be open to information that said different. I had a chemical imbalance, needed the drugs like a diabetic, and that was that. So no support there. I truly believe that this site is hugely important and helpful. I am glad it is here. For me, if I had face to face support I believe my withdrawal wouldn't have been so hard, certainly not as isolating. I just don't get the same feeling from online as I ever did in face to face meetings. So, I am hoping to find a few people near Rhode Island or Southeastern Mass that would like to join me in staring this. A combination informational, educational, supportive group. I have ideas and am open to other peoples. Thank you.
  12. OKAY. Where to begin. I had post partum depression after my baby girl was born. I remember being in the kitchen and she was crying (she cried A LOT due to colic and I was stressed) and up popped an intrusive thought. Well this ont op of my anxiety and all was NOT a good combination. It scared me so bad and I literally got hysterical and called my mom and had to her come to my house. Later I went to my OB-GYN and she literally told me it was PMS and it was OK. So I went to get another opinion. By the time I had seen the second doctor, I was so anxious and upset that I was literrally talking in circles and talkign very fast. (Which by the way I did this all my life- I think I just let this doc sway me) So she says i'm 'Bi-Polar' and sends me home with Seroquel. I remember taking it and being so out of it that I literally slept for 3 days straight. I woke up long enough to try to drink something and use the bathroom. It knocked me on my butt. I woke up on the 3rd day and felt horrible. I remember that my heart was racing and yet I was sleeping, so I called the 'doc' and she said that I was just dehydrated and to drink a huge glass of water and lie back down. I did this and after about an hour, I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. My mom said she would go with me to the doctors office so I could speak with her. I drove (YES OMG! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!) to my doctors office with my mom and 2 kids and waited in the office. After 5 minutes, I walked up to the window and told the nurse I wasn't feeling well and when could I be seen, she said I was a walk-in and it would be a bit. Well I was lsitening to my body and decided to walk down to the Emergency Room. {it was attached to the same building} When I got into the ER, I said that I just wanted someone to check my heart rate because I felt funny. They took me back and checked it and my heart rate was 245! They immediately rushed me back, called code blue, and started to hook me up to all sorts of machines. They said that I was about to crash and asked me tons of questions. They had to stop and restart my heart 3 times. Long story short, I wasnt bi-polar and seroquel almost killed me! I actually had to have heart surgery because of that medicine. Once I recovered, I was still have heart problems and anxiety due to this. So I went to another doctor and they placed me on Lexapro 10 mg. I am super sensitive to medication and i noticed a change in a week. I felt better, Like, a lot better. I had tried a couple of other pills, buspar, effexor, trazadone, and wellbutrin. None of those worked. So once the Lex started working, I felt a bit of relief. I had the usual side effects when I first started, but those subsided after about 2 weeks. Well things were getting better, life was going on, and I wasnt so anxious and the thoughts were gone. Fast forward 2.5 years. I started to feel like I was in a fog and like I couldn't quite enjoy things as much as I wanted to. I was numb to feelings and numb to other peoples feelings around me, especially my husband. He up and left me one day and I was blind-sided. Went to the doctor because I was crying all the time and losing weight and he upped my dosage to 20 mg. After that I felt amazing agian. I could drive 2.5 hours away to pick up my kids from my husbands house and I was ok about being alone at night, I even let my mom move out without freaking out. LOL. Then my husband decided to come home after a year and a half. {During this time I had tried to come off of meds again but I quit cold turkey and things were great until about 3.5 months in, then I had THE WORST panic attack ever and thougth I was going to kill myself, so I got back on the meds} Things were not getting better and I felt like I was getting worse. My brain was in a fog, I was losing my short term memory, I would get in my car and drive to work or to take my kids to school and couldnt remember how I got there, I couldn't cry, I had gained 30 pounds, my sex drive was GONE, and my liver was shot. I knew I had to do something and I had to do it the right way. I found this forum and started reading about a slow taper. I went to see a psychiatrist and he agreed that he didnt think I needed the medicationa nymore and we made a game plan to ween me off. Unfortunately, he passed away 2 weeks later. So I went to see his replacement and he didn't listen to a word I said. In fact, I think he was upset that I kept bringing up the late doctor and his plans that he just stopped me and looked at me and said, "we can get you to 5mg, but that is it. You will be on these meds for the rest of your life". I looked at him and said that is unacceptable and walked out. So I headed home crying and upset and decided that I was going to go through with my plan. I slowly weened myself over the next year and a half down to 5 mg. I didnt really notice any side effects when I dosed down. I started seeing a personal trainer and started eating only raw foods and felt great. However, I saw my trainer for 3 months straight and literally didnt lose an ounce! Not 1. So he said it was my meds, and I knew this, but still. So i ran home and said bumo this and went down to 2.5 mg for a week and that was it. Now, I did have the horrible physical withdrawals and all. The brain zaps, nausea, dizziness, tiredness, mood swings, anxiety, loss of concentration, forgettfulness, feeling like my brain was swishing around my head, and just overall crappy feeling. The first month I was very anxious. Like I couldn't sit still anxious, yet I couldnt focus enough to do simple things like house work and laundry. I didn't want to cook, clean, nothing. I listened to music and stayed outside a lot. I read outside and just relaxed in the sun. It was actually nice. But I had NO appetite. It affected my hypoglyemia so bad and that was making my anxiety worse. But at the time I didn't know this. I find it VERY helpful to keep a journal. Even when youa re feeling good. By month 2, I noticed an increase in OCD obsessive intrusive thoughts and less anxiety. I still had anxiety, but I wasn't go go go constantly. I started noticing crying spells and anger, and I felt like my emotions were all over the place. I lost my job due to no work and foudn myself home alone during the days, which unnerved me again. I am classic anxiety- hate to be alone/bored. But I stated to see a therapist and continued seeing my naturopath. She tried 5htp, Min Tran, drops, Bach Flowers, and inositol with me. Due to my sensitivity, even the all natural supplements made it WORSE. I couldn't sleep and when I did I would wake having night panic attacks. The anxiety of being home alone with my kids at night while my hubby was out of town scared me so bad that I would wake from my sleep with night time panic attacks and the intrusive thoughts that would scare me so bad. I would call my mom in the night and pace up and down the house to calm down. Month 3 seemed to get better and then worse. One moment i would be good and the next very bad. I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. I noticed I was seeing things, not like people or anyting, just like I swore I saw something move or my cat or somehting and nothing was there. That freaked me out. Only happens every now and then now. And I have had such bad bausea that its hard to eat, i have zero appetite, have lost 25 pounds so far, I still work out, get anxious to be alone, insomnia, increased ocd intrusive thoughts, depersonalization, loss of concentration, constant need to be watching or listening to something {talk radio-movies-shows-books}, agitation, agoraphobia, crying spells, depressive mood, dry mouth, weird achy feet, stomach issues, heart palpitations, inner trembling (like im cold and cant get warm-but on the inside), feelings of hopelessness, some fears of hurting myself, mood swings, nightmares, vivid dreams, panic attacks, sweating, repetitive thoughts, and weepiness. I STILL struggle with these. Still. It has been 14 weeks now since I have been Lex free and I actually am still learning to this day. I thought that I was getting worse and that I needed to get on meds again and almost gave in yesterday. But I read on here and realized that what I have been feeling is still W/D. I just came back from Texas and the night before I had to get on a plane (which I usually have no problem doing) I freaked out. Freaked! I had my neighbor up til 2 am trying to calm me down. I wasn't even scared about it crashing or anything, I just was afraid of having an atack on the plane. It was bad. But that is the agoraphobia that I didn't realize I had. I am so sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give history and my back story to what has led me here. My husband said that our marriage has been the best it has been for years since I got off of my meds. I don;t want you to think it is all bad. Its not. I have more moments of clarity and more 'light at the end of the tunnel' moments more and more every day. I even left therapy one day and called my mom crying telling her that FOR ONCE I feel normal and feel like htings are getting better. But of course, only time can tell and heal. I am able to have fun with my kids more, I hear them more and focus on them. I can talk to my husband without ending up in an argument. He has been more supportive then I had ever thought he would. I do have an appointment to meet with a new psychiatrist, and will go over with her everything that has happened. I DO NOT want to be on meds. I have also met a new therapist and she said that she "bleeds CBT" and that she feels I can kick this without meds! So I am hopeful. The therapist and the doc are in the same office, so I am confident that they will work together to keep me on my path that I chose. I just wanted to let someone know that they aren't going crazy and that there are others out here going through the same. I would love to hear from someone who has been lex free and in a good state. But funny enough, I am also a good listener and can help others with their problems better than my own! LOL Again, I am sorry this is so long. Thank you for taking the hour to read it. hahaha. Oh and I know mine is W/D still because I just say, if I were not alone or if my husband/mom/friends were around would I still be thinking these things. NO I wouldn't. So I know it is just the W/D still. Keep your head up! Please! It does get better. I am not there yet, but I am getting there one day at a time!
  13. Hi, After reading many many posts, I'm more confused than ever ... I just obtained a prescription to have Pristiq compounded and reduced by 10% of current dose each month in hopes of getting off this beast. After reading some of the posts, it appears that it may not be a good idea to compound this drug because of the extended release properties of the 50mg pill. Is there anyone on this site that has had success tapering off of this drug using a compound pharmacy to do a 10% taper per month? I"m now nervous to get the prescription filled after reading some of the posts. I contacted the compound pharmacy (Guardian Drugs in Toronto, Canada) and they have the same reservations about crushing the extended release tablets as they tell me, that while they can do it, they don't know exactly how the compounded drug with react in my system. In compounding it, the drug will most likely be weaker (by exactly how much they can't say with any accuracy) and therefore she cannot say with any certainty whether or not it will cause withdrawal symptoms which I am desperate to avoid. Tried to taper off about five years ago (second or third try) by cutting the pill and reducing it gradually and had such bad withdrawal symptoms, I thought I was going to go mad so back on the stupid drug I went. The compounding pharmacy offered to call my family doctor and suggest to her that I switch to Effexor (75mg) which she said is equivalent to 50mg of Pristiq. She said that Effexor is much easier to come off of and much easier to compound. She said it didn't sound like my family doctor has much experience with coming off antidepressants (don't think my doctor is alone on this point). She also suggested reducing the Effexor by 5% each month rather than 10% to help avoid withdrawal altogether. She said it is better to taper very gradually and to take as long as possible to get off these drugs. Even a year or more sounded reasonable to her. So I guess my questions are (1) is it feasible/best approach to switch to Effexor to taper or am I just switching to a different beast even more difficult to get off of? (2) should I just get the Pristiq compounded and hope for the best ... ? (3) better suggestions/experience than the above two points? I would really like to get off of Pristiq, have been on anti-depressants far too long and never able to get off of them properly because of the horrific withdrawal symptoms so basically I've been held hostage by a little pill and would like my life back. Tired of feeling flat and not having any real emotions and don't want to Stepford Wife/Walking Dead it anymore. I've been taking 50mg of Pristiq for about 7 years and prior to that was on Effexor extended release 37.5 x 2 for about the same amount of time. Any suggestions from people with experience getting off these drugs would be most welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for reading.
  14. I was put on risperidone 3,0.5mg in the morning and 2mg at bedtime for 3 months, but not only that i was misdiagnosed and its been 4 months off it now and I also cant feel anything, happiness, sadness, creativity, joy, zest for life is gone. my scense of wonder is gone and I have alot of cognitive problums now to like not being able to think right, im slow. I used to love music but now it dosent stimulate me. i cant feel ciggeretts or injoy video games like I used to. im loseing all my friends because there like WTF man and im only 24. I doubt an antidepressant is going to do anything. I was on Celexa but stopped it after 3 weeks because what im feeling is from risperidone not depression. now I also have an inability to communicate, I dream EVERY NIGHT. I cant stay focused anymore I used to build projects from wood but nope, cant do that anymore ither. I used to laugh love injoy parties some of my friends even said i was the life of the party. well, not anymore thats for sure. I dont evin remember what I did a half hour ago. this drug ruined my life so far: my birthday, christmas, family events. my family is wondering what the hell happend to me. I NEED TO RECOVER. ive been chemically lobotomized. at least I can still type to find support on the internet. if i knew they were antipsychotics i would of never takein them. the doc never explained anything to me!, the only things I do feel really is worried i wont come out of this, and being hungry, all i think about now is why did i take these meds and will i ever recover. someone please respond with something positive did anyone recover from this and how long did it take. I ended up in the psyc ward because I smoked weed that was soaked in bleach and I tripped out. never knew the weed was tampered with at the time and then I was misdiagnosed with psycosis. I dont think the bleach weed did any real damage because when I woke up in the hospital I was ok but I was givein risperidone and sent home I should of never took the risperidone. but I did for three months, anyway. long story short I need support in knowing if ill get my emotions and personality back.
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