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Hi all! Thank you in advance for any help/advice. Since July 2023 (8 months) I've dealt with debilitating daytime fatigue. It's not sleepiness, since I don't feel the need to nap—more like I'm pulled underwater. I can't process/experience anything. My eyes glaze over, almost like I go unconscious with my eyes open. It's devastated my life. Extensive blood work has come back mostly normal, with very slightly high cortisol & transferrin saturation which I doubt are clinically meaningful. I'm a 22-year-old male & when this started I was very stringent about exercise, sleep, & nutrition. Recently I've developed mild visual distortions: visual snow, trouble focusing my eyes, & distant objects sometimes seem to flow like oil, although I think these are due to Qelbree WD & not the SSRIs. My drug history is in my signature. Here's my story with a focus on a few drugs: in Oct '23 (my senior year of college), I started Zoloft after an acute mental crisis. That Nov I went up to 100 mg & stayed on this for 6 months. Shortly after moving in June, I began to feel some daytime fatigue. It wasn't too bad, but I thought (& still think) the Zoloft was causing it, so I asked to switch to Lexapro. I should note that fatigue was much milder than the fatigue I'm experiencing now, so I don't think it suggests that my current fatigue started before any WDs. After some time, things rapidly declined—I think I noticed in Aug. I felt strong fatigue even through Adderall (I have ADHD) & ~7 cups of coffee (I've cut back for periods & it didn't help the fatigue). I had known Adderall was bad for me in the long run, so I switched to Focalin in Sept. Focalin didn't mask the fatigue as strongly. My mood was fine, so I thought Lexapro was causing the continued fatigue. In Oct I started to wean off Lexapro. In Nov I stopped Lexapro & also replaced Focalin with Strattera (a non-stimulant drug for ADHD). Focalin had similar side effects to Adderall, but my fatigue became debilitating when I no longer had a stimulant masking it. I think it also worsened from quitting Lexapro. I spent the next few months trying a bunch of non-stimulants for ADHD. Because my fatigue had gotten worse & I didn't realize this could be entirely explained by quitting stimulants + Lexapro, I thought my fatigue was now because of these non-stimulants. I slogged through this repeated pattern of waiting weeks for the fatigue to go away each time I "adjusted" to a drug, & then switched to another non-stimulant when it didn't. After months of unbearable fatigue (& trying pretty much every drug for ADHD anyway), I got sick of it & got off everything except Wellbutrin & Armodafinil (both of which I was prescribed for the fatigue). Quitting these drugs didn't improve the fatigue. Two days ago I restarted guanfacine at my full dose since I realized I shouldn't have quit it CT & in the past I was pretty satisfied with it. I had quit it only to see if it was causing the fatigue. Now I think my fatigue probably has little to do with the non-stimulants (although it did get worse when I went up to 80 mg Strattera). Looking back on the timing, this all started when I switched off Zoloft, & really got bad when I quit Lexapro. I think my fatigue is caused by WD from these two drugs. I've probably had Zoloft WD the whole time, initially softened by Lexapro since it functions similarly. When I quit Lexapro, the WD blew up. However, the mild visual distortions seem much more recent. I had severe visual distortions while I was quitting Qelbree, so they may be Qelbree WD. And considering that increasing Strattera did worsen my fatigue, I'm worried I may actually be juggling protracted WDs from multiple drugs. I feel like I was pushed into climbing a cliff. Now that I'm there, there's no way down. I feel lost. My memory also seems to be impaired, so it's hard to even remember how I got here. Does anybody have any advice? Right now I'm getting my cortisol rechecked & also checking for sleep apnea, but I doubt either will lead anywhere. I know SSRI WD can last for years & the idea of feeling like this for years is terrifying. Does this get better? A few other questions: Most importantly, should I reinstate Zoloft? I was thinking of reinstating at either 50 mg or asking for a lower dose with a liquid formulation. But now that I'm back on the guanfacine that would put me on 4 drugs. And it's been 8 months since I was on Zoloft. Was getting back on the guanfacine the right idea? I do feel somewhat better. Does this even sound like WD? My understanding is most people end up feeling "activated" rather than fatigued. Has anybody experienced the combo of fatigue/visual distortions/impaired memory as part of SSRI withdrawal? Are there any lifestyle changes/supplements/etc. that people with WD-related fatigue have found helpful? I know there's a few posts about lifestyle/supplements generally but for most people fatigue doesn't seem the primary symptom.

tried tapering Pristiq, too tough, looking to try tapering Wellbutrin next Hello all! It has been so helpful to read through this wonderful community, and it’s giving me more hope than I’ve had in a long time. When I was a troubled teen, my parents put me on Prozac, said it made me too angry, and started switching it up and I was on a cocktail before graduation. Been on one ever since, I can’t even remember the chronology of what was taken when, though perhaps I should sit down and try to figure it out. This year, I tapered down Buspar and successfully got off of it. Anxiety went up a bit, but I took more Gabapentin and was fine. Recently, partly due to Kaiser not being able to fill it, I tried tapering down on Pristiq. Since I’m on the lowest possible dose, and it’s time release, I’m having a rough time figuring this out. I read that the maker recommends taking it every other day, then less, but that seems like a real ping-pong for the ole brain. Cutting it to lower the dose was a terrible plan, I spiked in anxiety then crashed for the rest of the day. Since I felt so terrible with lowered Pristiq, it made me wonder if that’s working and I should leave it alone for now. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for longer, so maybe that’s a good one to let go of. I was considering switching to the non-time-release version, but remembered that made me feel suicidal in the past, which got better when I switched back to the same dose of Wellbutrin SR. I’ve also had trouble finding doctors who can/will help. Everyone has told me that since I’ve been on meds since I was young, I’m stuck. Or that it would require more therapy than my insurance company/provider Kaiser is able to provide. For years now, every time I ask about lowering a dose or being on less meds, I walk out of there having gotten a hard sell to increase or add another one. It’s maddening! Finally tapered down on the Buspar on my own, since I couldn’t find anyone to help. With lots of coping skills and self-soothing, it was all right. The problem for me now is this time release mess and being on the lowest doses! I’ll keep diving into what other people have done and see what options might work. Hoping that one day I can find a doctor willing to help me lower, not increase, the meds. I had a family member of kidney failure caused by a mental health med, so being on these for the rest of my life (and potentially shortening it in the process) sounds like a bad plan. Still, figuring this all out is tough! Grateful to find this resource, and learn ways to safely decrease with the goal of getting off some or all meds. Thank you all, and I hope you’re all doing well!

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hey everyone, I'm John. this is my journal of tapering off of 450mg of Wellbutrin. I spent several years tapering off of Effexor, which was a real struggle, quite honestly. I've been left with just 450mg of the Wellbutrin for the last few years, and decided after a lot of intensive therapy that I wanted to try and reduce. Going from 450 to 400 was bumpy but manageable. Then, after doing some research on this website, I decided to switch from XR to SR, and thought I could do another 50mg drop, you know, just ride it out. Uhhhh...not so fast! I couldn't do it. I know something about tapering, and a 50 mg drop turned out to be way too much. I tried breaking up the SR pill into pieces. I knew the medicine wasn't distributed evenly in the tablet, but thought it wouldn't be a big deal. I was wrong about that, too. So I went back to my understanding doctor and asked for 75mg tablets of immediate release, and then made a liquid using instructions I found here. Now I'm on a 200SR in the morning, plus 10mg of liquid, plus a 150mg SR in the evening. I've been doing that for around 3 days and I find myself having some slight brain zaps when I'm tired, but overall very, very mild withdrawal symptoms compared to before I started using the liquid. I think the switch to liquid has reduced by about 5mg. I'm excited to see what happens when I reduce by 5 mg of the liquid, precisely measured. I'm optomistic that I will have more mild side effects that I can tolerate. Before I started the liquid wellbutrin, I was stumped. I really thought I met my match and wasn't going to be able to reduce again due to unpleasant symptoms. Effexor was very difficult to reduce off of, but I thought Wellbutrin would be easy in comparison, and that hasn't been the case at all. Like people say around here, slow and steady! If I can reduce 5 or 10 mg per week, that'll work out to approximately 10% a month , which would be fantastic, if I can do it and keep my quality of life. I want to do this and be comfortable. Looking forward to seeing how the next reduction goes!

Hi all, i'll try to describe my problems and my situation and maybe I can get some advice? I'm 28 y/o, have had depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts 24/7 (my mind is never silent) attention problems, and executive dysfunction notably since at least 16-18 years old, and i've had OCD like features since I was like 7 as far as I can remember, particularly strong since at least 16 years old. Refused to try any medication up until 2018. Had a scary first bout of what was arguably psychotic thinking in 2016. Here's a brief history: March-ish 2018: Took Wellbutrin about a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018: Took Seroquel a handful of times, can't remember doseMarch-ish 2018- November 2019: Took Sertraline, went from 25 mg to 125 mgs. Foolishly cold turkeyed February 2021: Took Buspar a handful of times, can't remember dose February 2021: Took Luvox maybe like 6 times, nearly killed me and devastated me for months beyond belief March-June 2021: Reinstated Sertraline in an attempt to stop the horrible effects of Luvox (tapered over 2 weeks I think, i'm a little surprised at how my memory seems a bit shot atm) I cold turkeyed Sertraline foolishly out of ignorance and due to life circumstances, and I think I remember not taking it as prescribed daily all too well in the first place. Over the last 2.5 years since then, I have noticeably declined and I believe it is likely protracted withdrawal. I now suffer from everything I mentioned previously but it's all generally worse than a few years ago. Since mid 2020 I have really gone down hill and now suffer from the following daily/regularly: - A considerably more panicked and anxious base level of consciousness - Constant racing thoughts, my mind is never clear/scary intrusive thoughts - Recurrent terrifying "depression attacks/bouts" where i feel depression/anxiety that is so intense in their particular windows that they feel like panic attacks but more "depression-like" if that makes sense. - Body temperature disturbances where I feel regular hot flashes/heat sensations running down my body - The Luvox I tried last year gave me the worst panic and depression of my life, I felt like I was in a 2 - 3 month prolonged panic attack and I got burning skin sensations that felt like being burned alive that thankfully have dissipated now but lasted from about February to July 2021. - Chronic fatigue and a constant feeling that someone is pulling me down from my back, making me want to just lay down on a bed. When I feel the fatigue + hot flashes + depression attacks + some confusion at the same time it feels like i'm in hell. - Severe executive dysfunction coupled with OCD, makes it so I feel like i'm paralyzed and at the same time I feel like the only thing i can keep doing and keep my attention on is watching youtube. I'm a school teacher and the school year just ended, I could never get anything done because of my executive dysfunction and it is an absolute miracle that I lasted the whole year. I do feel though that when i'm totally into what i'm doing at school there are times where I, dare i say, feel "normal" and "fine," with the exception of lingering social anxiety and severe executive dysfunction that is always there." Now that vacation has started it, i've gotten worse, same thing happened every school weekend. I go crazy when just at home. I'm currently trying to fight through my executive dysfunction in order to set up a new PCP and finally make a doctor's appointment to see if I can get a "full work up," whatever that means, in order to gauge my health and rule out auto immune diseases or other things. It's a miracle I can even hold my attention long enough to write this atm, what tips can you give me in regards to things I can do to naturally heal, things I can ask my doctor, tests that I should request my doctor, etc? Honestly a few weeks ago I kept daydreaming about trying stimulants (bare in mind that I am very skeptical towards psychiatry now) because of how bad my executive dysfunction is but now I feel more mentally damaged in general now and I have no idea what to do.

HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz

Hi, I’m Kat. I’m a long time lurker first time poster. So I was told by the majority of the PSSD reddit to head here after thinking my symptoms were PSSD and there is some sexual dysfunction, I agree, but I also have uh, odd symptoms. I’m not sure if this is withdrawal from my other medications. Technically I’m still currently on 2 but I’d like to get off of all of them and get my life back. So the prevailing thing is- I can’t feel emotions. And I don’t mean Apathy or Anhedonia, I mean nothing at all. Like a blank. Not even anxiety. This started when I began tapering off of buspar (yes, buspar) in January of 2024. From 20mg to 15mg. (Yes, I know, extremely low dosages.) I was also on 20mg of Hydroxyzine as needed. Suddenly I had a horrible anxiety attack, and I couldn’t feel my stomach. Like it was gone. And there was no hunger or thirst. And then I started having horrible post nasal drip, and dry heaving. And I felt my emotions just go into this vacuum. Very slowly, but now I have blunted affect on my face and I can’t seem to make ANY facial expressions at all. My nausea disappeared, along with the these tremors, arm pains, and burning in my fingers that I’d had for a week. I went to my doctor to get an upped dosage of my long standing metoprolol prescription due to the fact that my heart rate consistently was up all the time. (That has since been controlled by propranolol and lisinipril as of February of 2024.) After losing my emotions, drugs lost most of their effects on me. And I noticed a dampening of all my senses, including (and this is the most bizarre) loss of most of my visual snow. My allergies have also disappeared as well. I recognize that these aren’t super standard withdrawal symptoms and many align with some on the PSSD board, but I did read many stories about emotional anesthesia here, which gave me some hope my emotions would come back. I also have awful insomnia, but never seem to feel tired. I do sleep, but it’s awful and only about a few hours at a time on and off. I do have some weird issues with my vision, to where if I see a light after I’ve opened my eyes in the dark, it flickers like a projector. I’m currently in a PHP program (pardon my ADHD brain) after being inpatient in a psych ward for a while in February. I’m still on two medications, wellbutrin 300mg and abilify 20mg. I can’t taper the wellbutrin in the normal way because the pills are covered by something, but I could potentially do this for the abilify. Again, neither drug seems to be doing anything for me anyway. Even Ativan which once worked in small doses or valium, which I took once in a hospital stay, does nothing. Nor does benadryl or anything else for that matter. I’m scared this is very much permanent and that I’ve ruined my life forever. Despite the hope that I’ve seen on the forum. (I know, emotions come back last, they leave first and come back last.) (I’m not taking benzodiazepines regularly either, by the way.) Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. And it’s nice to meet y’all.

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

I'm rating my symptoms and trying to decide when to make a reduction. I switched from Wellbutrin extended release to immediate release, same dose, and had quite a few increased symptoms for a few weeks (suicidality, headaches, sleep disturbance, low mood). Now I'm wondering how I decide I'm stable enough to try a small, like 3% cut. I'm only a little suicidal, no headaches, still sleep disturbance and low mood. But, I wasn't all that stable when I started, so... I may never get to a more stable place... When is stable enough? HA

I went off Wellbutrin in December 2023. I had been on it about two years. I was also given Adderall about the last 6 months of that time because I was so sleepy and unable to initiate tasks. I was given Modafinil as well. I was also imbibing about 400 mg of caffeine. Still really tired "excessive daytime sleepiness," not narcolepsy. My blood pressure was super high. I refused to start a BP medicine when I was taking a lot of meds that could raise it. I tapered off Wellbutrin over 6 weeks. Now, I've been off everything for about 12 weeks. My mood is depressed worse than before the meds. Two weeks ago, I started tearful all the time. I have ruminative negative thoughts. I am not suicidal. I believe this is withdrawal because I experienced similar symptoms trying to taper off twice before. The psychiatrist agreed to do GeneSight testing as a compromise since she was against stopping the meds. Turns out, there are only 4 antidepressants I don't have severe genetic interactions with. I told her to pick one and I would try it (because I am that miserable and she was talking hospitalization). She ordered viibryd yesterday. I don't want to prolong the withdrawal or make things worse. I don't believe meds are a solution. I'm wondering if anybody has tried viibryd to ease withdrawal from Wellbutrin. They work on different neurotransmitters so I don't know if it is rational. The Wellbutrin was not even functioning as intended because of my genetics impeding its metabolism and receptor activity.

Hello- as my topic title shows, I have been on anti-depressants for 24 years (20mgs Lexepro, 175 mgs Wellbutrin). It is hard to face. After the birth of my first son, I began having acute anxiety. When I told my gynecologist he told me it was common after giving birth because of hormonal changes. In such cases, he recommends about six months of medication to help with the symptoms and recommended a psychiatrist that he works with for patients such as me. I'm sure none of you are surprised to know that, as is all too common, I never got off the drugs for very long. Each time withdrawel symptoms were interpreted as my illness returning. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression all her sad life, so it wasn't hard to believe that I was ill. Yet, I still tried a few times to stop the drugs. Interestingly, once it became clear how difficult it was to get off the drugs, I knew with certainty that I needed to stop taking them. I Thought I would put if off until I was retired, so I would have less stress, etc. to deal with the WD, but when I learned about the10% taper it gave me hope that I can be AD free by my 60th birthday! I will start with the Lexepro. Getting myself a scale and using a spreadsheet to calculate the decreases. I'm getting my yoga and walking on, and continuing meditation for success! I'm so glad to have this site for reference, information and support!

I'm a 27 year old female and I was prescribed to Wellbutrin a year and a half ago. I had never taken any type of psychiatric medication previous to this, and was prescribed to Wellbutrin by a physician that insisted it would help with the depressive symptoms that I was experiencing due to a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). My primary disorder at the time was GAD, and the only reason that I was experiencing depressive symptoms, is because of the change in my demeanor since becoming constantly worried about the possibility of having an anxiety attack in any social situation. The first time that I went to see a general practitioner about my general anxiety disorder, she immediately wrote me a prescription for Prozac, I took the medication a grand total of three days before having a pretty bad car accident while driving my brother to school. I went back to the doctor and she decided that it would be better if I tried going the antidepressant route. At the time I started Wellbutrin I was in my first semester of graduate school and the effects of Wellbutrin were welcome. I was able to concentrate better than ever before, and was getting all A's in school. It went this way for a little over a year, until 3 months ago when I started seeing a return of my panic attacks. I went back to the doctor and she told me that it sounded like I was building up a resistance to the dosage of medication that I was taking. I was taking a once daily immediate release dosage of 75 mg of Wellbutrin at the time and she decided it would be a good idea to up my dosage to 100 mg of sustained release in order to get me back to a base line. I went home with the medication and thought about what the up dosage meant. I had a lot to consider... I didn't want to be dependent on the medication for the rest of my life. Especially since I was taking an antidepressant medication when I didn't even actually have depression. That day I decided that I was going to quit the medication altogether.. without my doctor’s consent… I had NO IDEA how bad of an idea that would turn out to be. Fast forward to a week and a half after trying to quit wellbutrin cold turkey and I was a COMPLETE DISASTER. I was experiencing suicidal ideation (the first time I’d ever had ANY thoughts like this), MAJOR anhedonia, memory issues and extreme fatigue. I went back to my doctor to get help, because I was scared of what I was going to do. Long story short, she ended up putting me on the Wellbutrin SR 100 mg anyways so that I could level out before I started my taper process. I took the 100 mg SR every day for about 2 weeks and was having some really uncomfortable side effects. So I decided it was time for me to start weening myself off of it. I took the 100 mg SR every other day for two weeks and then every two days for another two weeks, so all in all I tapered off of the medication over a month. I know now that this was WAY too fast, but it’s too late for me to try to go back on it for a slower taper. I’m just wondering if anyone else has a similar story to mine, that can tell me what kind of recovery timeline I’m looking at. I’m experiencing some pretty sever anhedonia and memory/concentration issues that present themselves in waves.

I promised myself and God that if I got to the other side of this I would come back here and reciprocate the hope that helped me get through this. I’ve been 95%+ recovered for about 2 years but I avoided coming back and put off my promise for too long being that this site is associated with the trauma. This site was the rare place that gave answers. You feel alone because doctors and even Dr Google seem to shrug its shoulders at your symptoms. Compound that with me going through my symptoms during the Covid years when seeing a doctor was next to impossible, also my already ultra anxious mind being stuck at home worrying about the world and my family’s health. I’ll try to get to the point. My symptoms begin when I stopped taking Wellbutrin suddenly. I was only on it for a few months. Maybe 5 at most. I didn’t know about waning off. I just knew I wanted to be done with it. What followed was a massive panic attack followed by an array of symptoms that lasted a year and a half: constant intense headaches, eye flashes, “air hunger”, jerking out of sleep, tingling, chest tightness, among a few others. The symptoms’ intensity decreased month to month but the frustrating part was they stuck around for a while. The windows and waves theory is true. It will be 4 years to the day this week since it started and I can say my life has changed for the better since. I’ve gotten 2 Masters degrees and a top professional certification in my industry. I say that to say not only will you get through this you will be stronger and your mind will still be strong. Just take it a day at a time. I don’t want to get into what did and didn’t help me because I do remember the mix bag of trying supplements and suggestions frustrated me so I won’t burden you with that. What I can say is it gets better with time and there will be a time in the near future where you somewhat forget this hell you’re going through.

Have been on antidepressants since 1990s. I would go to my PCP and tell them what I wanted to try next. Over the years I have been on prozac, paxil, and now the cocktail I want to taper from. Tried to taper in past but gave up quickly thinking there would be a better time. And May 2019 was it. Started to taper from wellbutrin and lexapro ‘cocktail’ under guidance of PCP. She put me on a 2 year taper. In March was down to 150 mg wellbutrin every 4 days. Crashed with current homebound routine. So she suggested I go to every 3 days and wait for the pandemic to ease up before resuming taper. Is it possible after all these years to actually be drug free? Are there any psychiatrists who know about tapering? Ive read allot about the tapering strips. Any psychiatrists willing to prescribe? I want off these meds...but the road sure is daunting at times. Any words of encouragement welcomed.

Hi, I took 20mg of duloxetine for two years but got fed up with the side effects. My doctor instructed me to start taking 150mg of Wellbutrin XL every morning while tapering off duloxetine. She said to take duloxetine every other night for two weeks and then stop completely. I've been off duloxetine since Oct 21 and I have been experiencing frequent brain zaps. I start a new job on November 2nd and I'm getting nervous because the brain zaps are so frequent. Is there anything I can supplement with to help with the zaps? Or should I consider getting back on the duloxetine? My doctor is not providing responses to my questions Please help. TIA!

Trigger Warning: SI Hello and thank you for allowing me to join. I'm grateful to have found all of you. I've been floundering while trying to come down of medication for at least 2 years and my Dr was no help. I've read through how to taper off Welbutrin and I'm currently on Day 20 of taking ~93 mg per day (original dose was 100 mg). I felt pretty good for the first two weeks but in the last week I've been struggling and questioning whether this was a good idea. I want to stop the Welbutrin because I feel like it increases my anxiety. Before starting it, I didn't need anxiety medicine. I was only on Sertraline for depression. But when my husband died, the Sertraline stopped being as effective so the Welbutrin was added. At one point I was on 450 mg. I've brought it down to 100 mg over the last few years bc I started getting headaches (that went away when it was lowered). I was to do the Welbutrin or at least get to 75mg because it increases my anxiety. This time I am doing the tapering and I was hoping that I wouldn't be affected because it's such a small amount (only 7mg) but I'm feeling it now. It's not horrible like it was before when the Dr told me to go from 100 mg to 75 mg, but I'm still feeling it. And every day it gets a little worse. I can't tell if I'm feeling this way because the medicine isn't numbing my psyche anymore or if this is withdrawal. Do I keep going with the 93 mg until this feeling fades? Will it fade or am I just easing myself into feeling crazy so that it doesn't feel 'crazy'? I wanted to have this mostly figured out by the time I stated a new job in January 29th. What are the odds of that happening? I keep bouncing back and forth between keeping it moving with the tapering and giving up and going back on the Welbutrin but the anxiety it caused is what lead me to start this process. I don't know what to do. Please let me know your thoughts? Thank you.

Hi there, I would appreciate it advice on this please. I was on Wellbutrin 300 mg and Lexapro 10 mg was tapered by a company and I was off of all medication in a month. It seemed like there wonder supplements were supposed to help me thus justifying a Fast taper. after being off the medication‘s for two weeks I went back on one quarter dose of Wellbutrin and then taper down from there. I gradually tapered off that over a couple of months and then the withdrawals got even more horrific once I was off of everything. Off of everything for two months I reinstated Lexapro at 1.25 mg. I went to see a functional medicine doctor and she put me on hormones . I’m on progesterone and oestrogen patch. apparently going off of anti-depressants reeked havoc on my hormones. I cannot work I cannot participate in any of the sports I was involved in. I’m basically a useless lump and I spend most of my day In bed. Should I increase my Lexapro a little bit more? Not really sure what to do at this point. Thank you.

Hi My name is trina I was CT off two medications 11 months ago. Wellbutrin 300 mg and Zoloft 25 mg I am totally buggered up. Severe withdrawals most of the time. Crazy psychiatrist, thinks I have medical problems Is there anything I can take to help? Will restarting these drugs again help? My friends keep telling me to restart them but it they caused this much sickness why would I want to take them. One know it all friend said I would feel better. Like how would he know? Any help would be great I know this is not medical advice, just asking other sufferers Thanks Trina

Here is my intro thread: ☼-armorall-ct-from-bupropion-and-risperidone Hello everyone! I will relay all the important things that I think serve people in WD (as did me, all I ever did was read the success stories part), then if you want to read more details, there’s a more detailed account following the abridged version, lol. Dosage and Tapering: I’m a 46 year old cis-female. I took 150 mg Bupropion for roughly 4 months alongside 2mg Risperidone for 3 months then switched to 10 mg Abilify for 3 weeks then 20 mg Latuda. So basically I took an SNRI plus an antipsychotic for 4 months. All were cold-turkeyed and no one I touched, not my psychiatrist, his nurse, his resident, my therapist or my GP said anything to warn me about it. I found this site two weeks after I started having symptoms. Trying to figure out how to reinstate drugs was too tricky amongst mod discussions, so we decided that nothing was probably the best solution. Symptoms: I couldn’t sing, write/listen to music, watch TV/music, read, take my son out to parks because I was either too tired/depressed, or the activity would send me into paroxysms of anxiety. At work, I slept through all my prep periods and had to leave early/show up late often because I was so beyond tired, even after sleeping for 8 to 20 hours. I couldn’t eat, I lost 70 pounds in 3 months, I lost 50% of my hair. I had heat dysregulation that would wake me up at night (heat would roll down my body), my skin peels off like a snake. I couldn’t eat sugar or carbs or else it would hyperstimulate me or make me super sluggish. I have tinnitus in my left ear, I still feel tremors at night. If I turn suddenly, either in my sleep or awake, my heart will start to race. Eating food or taking naps will also stimulate intense anxiety. I had to wear sunglasses while using the computer because the light was too bright. I will never be able to take cold medicine, drink coffee or alcohol ever again as it will bring me back to being ridden with symptoms. Hypnic jerks, waking panic attacks, fractured sleep, intense fatigue, floaters in the eyes, sound sensitivity while sleeping, expressive aphasia, inability to exercise for more than 10 minutes because it exacerbates symptoms, I often mix up homophones, and my short term memory suffers. Sore muscles if I do things that are slightly outside of the norm (reaching for a can on a higher shelf, using an unfamiliar computer mouse, twisting my body to tie something that I don’t usually tie, different shoes) will make my muscles sore. Recovery: Month 13 - I turned my first corner. I suddenly stopped having massive anxiety/rage episodes after napping, eating or upon waking in the morning. Month 18 - I then hit another benchmark of improvement. I could workout for 30 minutes without any repercussions. Month 22 - I found myself fully recovered!!! What had happened is that a friend was DJing on the beach and we decided that was a safe enough activity to try. We walked two miles to get there, danced all night, then walked the 2 miles back to car, then I got on the phone with a friend in distress and was up until 4:30am- I got up the following day at 11am and received house guests and never felt any ill effect, no waves, nothing. I realized then that I was fully recovered. At month 22, I could: sleep more or less normally and take naps with no consequence, wake up early in the morning without effect, exercise or dance as much and as long as I wanted to, eat sweets with no effect, listen and enjoy music, movies and other media. I feel like my old vivacious self again. I can work all day, plan parties, and am very active as an activist. I am fully present to my family. My husband and I are now seeing a sexologist (highly recommended) since we had lost our sex life before in withdrawal. It’s fun! At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. If I’m out doing some activity, I don’t notice it, but if I’m home, I’m asleep from the effects. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire (like at work) and in a more relaxed situation (like laying in bed with my husband) where I have to search for the words I mean to say (ex. So…I was at the store and I uh…trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. If I get too hot (while I’m asleep or during the summer sitting in the heat) my heart will start beating faster, but it doesn’t do anything to me emotionally. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! - ALSO thanks to the crew here at SA, aside from trying an acupuncture/herb regimen at the very beginning of withdrawal (which was completely disastrous), I never ever took anything to try to alleviate the WD state. I think that helped me a ton even though I kept asking in the forums about various things to try and noticing how risky it was. I never ended up taking/doing any of it. Just sleep, fish oil and magnesium. That lack of tinkering with supplements, drugs and weird devices probably got me here quickly and in a solid manner. So, please hold off on those for temporary relief whenever possible, it will help your receptors come back earlier in the long run! - I encourage everyone to start dropping reviews and doing what you can to get the word out about our suffering (like sharing the movie “Medicating Normal” - I have the link you can use so people can watch the 56 minute version for free! https://www.pbs.org/video/medicating-normal-kinbho/) once you are healed or feel up to it. I am available to help you write your reviews if you want. Just contact me here or via FB. Link is in my signature. Here is a breakdown that I had on a calendar of what new symptom was showing up/then later going away month by month. Month 1: Insomnia Month 2: Tinnitus Month 3: sore muscles from slight, but unfamiliar activity Month 4: fatigue/depression Month 5: nervous stomach Month 6: getting worse, turmoil Month 7: just absolutely awful Month 8: muscle twitches at night Month 9: more depression, more muscle twitches Month 10: inner tremor Month 11: expressive aphasia Month 12: dry eyes and mouth, more head pressure Month 13: Doing better! No anxiety anymore after dinner or nap. No new symptoms! Month 14: lots of muscle soreness as I try to increase my time on elliptical to 10 minutes Month 15: I can now listen to music and watch movies Month 16: my menstrual period stopped becoming erratic and is a normal cycle can workout for 16 minutes Month 17: Can eat sweets again! No cortisol from taking a nap. Month 18: Can workout for 30 minutes! Can eat A LOT of sweets and nothing happens to me. Month 19: Workout 40 minutes, sleep well even after exercising late in the day Month 20: Average heart rate lower. Up to 1.5 hours of exercise! Can listen to music and it feel the way I did before withdrawal Month 21: Doing well! Month 22: Breakthrough! Dance and walked 4 miles, stayed up all night, still felt good the next day! Month 23: Done! Functioning and feeling normal and good. When to write success story? Extra special thanks to @Shep, @Altostrata and @Undiagnosed1 for dealing with so many questions and keeping me grounded and unmedicated. Special thanks to the following SA members for their constant positive feedback and support: @Superwoman, @mustafa, @Erell, @Glosmom, @coldturkmama, @Hanna72, @ChessieCat, @manymoretodays, @Sassenach, @DrugfreeProf Here is the long and detailed version of my account if anyone wants to read it, otherwise take care and ask all the questions and requests for support that you want! As you can see from my drug history, I started out taking Bupropion and Risperidone after practically forcing (meaning I didn’t know my rights in the hospital, I thought I *had* to do what the psychiatrist told me, I found out later I was wrong. I was hospitalized on my own decision, so I didn’t have to take anything) me to take it via the hospital psychiatrist. Interestingly enough, her reviews show that polydrugging and overdrugging were definitely her thing. One complaint said that someone’s wife was on 9 medications because of her. Anyways, so after debating with the doctor on how deadly psychiatric drugs were (and my crappy therapist calling my husband to tell him to coax me into it because “it’s the only solution”) I was on both. Two months pass and even though I was spellbound from feeling better when I first took the drug, in retrospect, I was the same or worse. What was making me nuts prior to being hospitalized was probably how crazy I was while breastfeeding. I had learned before that I really don’t do well with hormonal changes- couldn’t take the pill without it driving me crazy, couldn’t take the Mirena IUD- just made me hungry and I bled for 6 straight months while others usually lose their period using Mirena. Anyways, so when I took Bupropion and Risperidone, I guess one of the side effects of the latter is that it ups your prolactin levels (related to lactating). So, even though I quit breastfeeding because I was on psychiatric drugs, I was still as jacked up or worse on them. The wellbutrin was super activating for me, too. I remember taking it and at night my eyes just dried out into raisins and I couldn’t sleep until 3am. So later, once the risperidone built up enough, I started getting suddenly sleeping at 11pm and couldn’t stay awake if I wanted to. My psychiatrist took a blood sample two months after I started and noticed that my prolactin levels were high. The next time I saw him, he said he’s switching me to Abilify, and that I should cut the Risperidone in half, take one the next day, the other half the next, then start a half of Abilify and the other half the next day. Yeah, that’s his idea of switching me out. So, 21 days pass and I’m slowly becoming more restless. I can’t lay in bed long enough to put my son down for sleep. I go get a facial and they cover my eyes with something and I freak out and rip one eye cover open. Simultaneously, I’m becoming more lethargic. I stop caring about hanging out with my adorable toddler son. I’m a teacher so I’m off for the summer, but I keep dropping my son off at daycare instead of spending time with him. The idea of having to make him breakfast seems overwhelming. I call the resident (because I can’t just get a hold of my shrink) and the resident approves me going off it. My shrink puts me on Latuda. I have crazy insomnia, then I go off of it. I continue to have insomnia. Mind you, I’m still taking Bupropion. My therapist says that bupropion is too activating for some of her clients. I go off it immediately in hopes of sleeping. After a week, I could finally sleep on my own, no melatonin or anything. Mind you, my psychiatrist knew, my GP knew, my therapist knew- I had happened to see each and every one of them within a week of quitting. NO ONE told me going off cold turkey was dangerous. No one. A month later, I start the heck that is withdrawal. And I’m so lucky I found Surviving Antidepressants at that time, or else I would have been even more kindled. I did go back to my psychiatrist to confront him about not protecting me (the psychiatrist in the hospital *also* never said anything about cold-turkeying drugs being dangerous). He said that withdrawal only lasts two weeks and when I asked him what he thinks I should do, he said he’d prescribe me Wellbutrin again and Trazadone for my insomnia. I never saw him again. So, that was my “taper plan”! And, I was scared to death. Like many of us, my symptoms changed every month, and for the WD-addled mind, it’s so scary. Looking back, some of the changes were very benign, too, like muscle twitches. You can see it all in my history. Through all this, I read success stories over and over. I also got in touch with Michael Priebe of the Lovely Grind as well as Undiagnosed1 who had posted his story here and offered to be an ear to anyone who is struggling. Both helped me, I paid for coaching from Michael (and Baylissa for a time- yes, I talked to EVERYONE- Stuart Shipko, Ann Blake Tracy, you name it!) I know you are not supposed to cling to other people’s timelines and compare yourself to them, or stick to a designated time on when you’ll think you’d be done, but I did it anyways (and yeah, got yelled at by one of my coaches- I won’t say which one). I tried to tell them, it’s just a goal, like when people say they will lose weight by a certain time- if they don’t hit it, they just make a new goal, but it at least gives me hope. So the strange thing is, my timeline was very close to Michael and Undiagnosed1. I was suffering pretty badly about 3 months in, I wasn’t asked back to my school of employment because I was struggling so much at work, my husband served me divorce papers at 7 months in because he was done with me being a wreck in front of our kid and blaming him for my medication usage. The only thing that really saved me was Covid- the courts weren’t in session so my husband *couldn’t* divorce me. We saw a therapist and she said to take advantage of this time to see if we could heal together. With Covid outside, I was able to rest a lot at home. My husband somehow trusted me to be with our son after all that and my son and I would just lay in bed and watch cartoons together and eat or go out to the forest and explore, it was actually really nice as my body continued to buzz with withdrawal. The insomnia portion had really died down after month 5 and I was really, really tired more than that, but of course deeply depressed/anxious. My husband and I still argued, mostly it would be me waking up anxious after a name, then being frustrated from the toxic nap and us getting into it. At month 11, a new symptom was expressive aphasia (it was hard for me to respond with the right words). I was so freaked out and contacted two different people who had had it on SA. Both said they recovered from it (I eventually did, too). Miraculously, at month 12, something in me settled. Like, eating and sleeping stopped triggering such a harsh response from me. I was still pretty messed up, but the fighting stopped. I stayed on that level and taught from home that year, which was also much more relaxing of course than managing behavior and teaching in person. I stayed at that level, then at month 20, I realized I could listen to music fully and it didn’t make me anxious and I could find it pleasurable in the same way that it did before WD. Month 22 we went out dancing and I realized I was probably mostly recovered. Before, I was only doing like 10 minutes on the elliptical (exercise) machine and that was enough to bring on symptoms. Here, we parked the car almost two miles away, danced all night, walked back. Nothing happened to me, it didn’t throw me into a wave or anything. Then on the way back to our house, my friend calls in turmoil. I get on the phone with her and stay up until 4:30am, yet another thing that would have taken me out in WD. Nothing happened to me. We even had guests the next day at noon and I was fine, didn’t feel wavy or even wiped from the night/early morning before! So, I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot about symptoms. I kept a journal the whole time as well as every month I would list on a sheet as it passed, I would write down any new symptoms each month, then after month 13, started writing improvements at each month. I will leave that list in another post as I’m getting tired now. One thing I did notice, expressive aphasia was probably my worst symptom, and after I experienced that one, a month later is when I finally started to get better instead of worse. I remember Undiagnosed1 had kaleidoscope vision right before he got better. So, I wonder if you do get some crazy symptom right before you start feeling better. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! So, what are my lingering symptoms? At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I do try every couple of months to drink coffee, because it was my only religion before, lol. Even decaf messes me up (not terribly, but I really don’t want to feel bad at all). I have found though that I’m much, much more peaceful and less anxious than I ever was before WD, because I was a coffee fiend in that past life. I didn’t ever believe that coffee was making me anxious, but looking back, it was. It wore me out, it made me more irritable. Nothing like withdrawal, but still. I am much more peaceful than I was back then and much less irritable. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire where I have to search for the words I mean to say (So…I was at the store and I uh…(trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. I’m really bursting over with life now, constantly enthusiastic, met all the dreams I had when I was in WD, teaching my kid soccer and music, really being there for him and my husband. Gone back to being an activist and loving it. My husband and I started seeing a sexologist (yeah, I had never heard of one either, she’s a friend of mine who was licensed recently, that’s how I knew about it- I can refer you if you want! She works with a lot of people who are suffering from PSSD), and now we are embarking on improving our sex life. I’m at 29 months out. I would have written my success story around 24 months, but I wanted to wait until I was teaching in-person full time so that I could really celebrate being in the space that was destroying me when I was suffering with withdrawal fatigue. One step or one yell too many and it was like I had lost all life and energy. I wanted to come back to the space and see how much I could finally handle it again, with all the love and energy I have for the profession and my children. But…it looks like with how often schools are closing and opening because of Covid, it may be a while before I can actually go back into the classroom (I am privileged in that I can make that choice), so I thought now, while it’s the beginning of the year, is best. I am absolutely indebted to all the staff here (which reminds me I need to make my yearly donation). Without you, I would be kindled and who knows what else. I’d like to shout out Altostrata, Shep, and so many others that helped me along the way. You are incredible and save and improve so many lives. Please please ask any and all the questions you want. I also included my facebook link in my drug history signature if you need to inbox me and it is full. As those before me, I am here to support you, and remind you that you will heal soon.

Background: I got put on 10mg Lexapro at age 30 right at 8 years ago because I randomly started having anxiety attacks for a week or two and had no idea why as I had never had depression or anxiety issues before that. Last year I decided I wanted off because I started to notice looking back for that a few years I had been dealing with fatigue and emotional blunting. I also noticed it was harder for me to learn new things (I was really smart in my younger years) and I would always forget fairly easy words in the middle of my sentences. It was quite weird, but I wanted off needless to say. I weaned off from 10mg down to 5mg and then 2.5mg over the course of 2 or 3 months. About 2 weeks after discontinuing completely (October 3rd) I had a rough 3 or 4 days of overwhelming anxiety and depression. It subsided and things got better. Then it hit me again for 4 or 5 days. Then subsided. Then hit me again for just under 2 weeks in mid December. Then subsided again. Now it is just hitting me again the last 3 days. This is a constant anxiety/depression where I am in constant fight or flight mode and just absolutely miserable. It is hard to get through my day at work and it is also hard to get to sleep at night and I've lost all excitement for anything and always tired. Its been around 1 month in total of bad days over the past 3 months. I just want it to be over. My question is: Would going back on a low dosage of 5mg of Lexapro for a bit and then try weaning off much slower while going to therapy be a good idea? Has anybody been in this situation and navigated your way through it successfully? Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. Just to add: In 8 days I am going on a 10 day trip to Mexico/Honduras with a woman I really care about and I am even finding it hard to get excited about this trip. I'm worried I will be fighting my fight or flight modes while there with her and completely ruining things. HELP!

I am dismayed when I look back at the past ten years. I was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder and headed off to college with Lexapro. Ten years of therapy, several diagnoses, seventeen medications, and one intensive outpatient program later, I still feel flat inside. My therapist has been encouraging me to reconsider my medication usage - we both share the feeling that I am overmedicated and disregulated. The medications I am currently on - Wellbutrin, Lithium, Trintellix, Caplyta, Topimarate, dosages in signature - have not nudged me in one direction or another - and I strongly desire a change. There are several reasons that drove me to Surviving ADs: Accidentally overdosing on Lithium during the summer Side effects: fine tremor in hands, difficulty getting erections, very low sex drive, constant battle against dehydration, discomfort with heat It's not sustainable for me to pay over $800/month on meds until my deductible is met My psychiatrist is leaving his practice and I need to find someone else for medication management I feel like there must be more to life than the slog the past ten years have been I don't particularly mind taking 10 pills a day, getting labs done every couple of months, or having to take Tadalafil every time I want to have sex, but it has to be worth it. Taking stock of my life right now, I don't think it's worth it. I've given it a good college try, and now I'd like to get off the ride. I'd like to plan tapering off my medications (10% at a time, of course!) while staying in talk therapy, and finding a new healthcare provider. As it goes, I'm not sure how to approach a few pieces of this: I don't really have a great relationship with a doctor at the moment - would it seem adequate to find a new doctor as a prescriber? Once again, my psychiatrist is leaving the practice, so I do need a prescriber as I taper off. How does the taper conversation go with a prescriber? How does a person taper off five medications? Is there an order of operations to follow? I'm at a point in my life where I can't even remember beyond foggy details how I felt before I was taking antidepressants. Would should I expect for returning to the unmedicated LaurenceAloof?

[50, male] Hi. I'm about to embark on a taper of the dreaded Cymbalta, which I have been on for almost 4 months-- 1 month of ramp up plus 3 months at 30mg. I'm quitting because its main effects have been lethargy, apathy, and demotivation. Some anxiety and sleep relief comes with that but it's not worth the zombification. This stuff scares me and I want nothing more to do with it. Starting about 6 weeks ago, my shrink added Wellbutrin 150mg which hasn't made much difference. About 6 years ago I went through this same process with a prior shrink (for the same complaint, anxiety)-- try Prozac, experience apathy/lethargy, add Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin felt pretty amazing but ultimately was too speedy and I decided to quit everything. I agreed to Wellbutrin once again in hopes of a similar effect but this time no luck. I think the ugliness of Cymbalta just drowns everything else out. Unfortunately I don't recall the exact details of my prior Prozac/Wellbutrin taper but my best guess is that it lasted between 6 months and 1 year (I was aware of this site and the importance of slowness). There were no adverse effects during the taper. So my primary goal this go round is to taper Cymbalta. But I'm torn between wanting to taper safely/slowly vs reducing my overall exposure and getting back to my pre-zombie state as soon as possible. If I were to do 10% at 2 week steps I'd be looking at an 18 month taper from 30mg. This seems too long. Since I've only been on it 3-4 months, I'm hoping I can go a little faster than that. I'm thinking of trying 15% at 1.5 week steps which would take a total of 10 months. Along the way I may or may not pause to taper some piece of the Wellbutrin, depending on how it all goes. My question is whether or not my 10 month taper plan seems reasonable. Thanks for any input. Sonny

Diagnosed with depression since 2000, on meds since 2009. Been through a bunch of psychiatrists and a bunch of meds. I'm stable on 100mg pristiq, 300mg Wellbutrin, 15 mg l-methylfolate, and 10mg Vyvanse. But I hate being dependent on the pharma industry and distribution chains (and my own ability to keep up with my med schedule and travel etc). It's several times landed me in a zappy, off balance, hopeless, self loathing pit of despair. I can't keep doing that. I also wonder... Who am I outside of this drug filter? What do I have to share with the world that are being stifled by the unending tiredness? Why do I keep working on my mental health and coping strategies and continue to need this pharmaceutical support? I eat a lot of fresh vegetables and unprocessed foods. I drink a lot of water and tea, and have switched from coffee to one cup of DOSE (mushroom coffee) a day. I sleep 8:30-5 every night. I've cut out nearly all alcohol. I know that regular, intentional exercise will help me, though I have a very active lifestyle and movement heavy hobbies. I have thought about trying to do an inpatient rapid detox, but this site is making me think that I will need much longer term support. I have two little kids and daily obligations around them as their dad is in the picture but unwilling to be helpful. I tapered down to 25mg pristiq with my current psych over four months and had a several week long crying spell, so I went back up to 50mg and have been parked there. Thank you for being here to support folks like me.

Hi. I've been on SSRI meds for a long time. I'm currently tapering from Zoloft. I'm at 26 mg. I'm reducing at 2.5% every 2-4 weeks. My CNS is a mess and I can feel every taper. I'm so tired all the time and have no energy. I'm taking cal-mag citrate, Barleans Omega fish oil, Vitamin D3/K2, and an iron supplement for anemia. Sometimes I take Coq10. I'd like to know what has helped others with the inability to focus and with fatigue.

I was put on SSRIs when I was 10. Luvox (Fluvoxamine). I never got off them until adulthood. I guess I took it for granted that I needed them. I don't remember anyone ever suggesting that it could be anything but positive or maybe neutral. Really, I don't remember much of what I thought as a child. I grew much worse after that though people could say "that was going to happen anyway", as they do. I have traced a few severe blowups (that had fairly life-altering consequences) to medication changes around that time. My adolescence was the gradual end of any sort of comfort in and control over my own mind. But again, don't these changes sounds similar enough to normal adolescent development that they are very easily dismissed? I couldn't really explain how or why it was any different. That my stress was not of the normal variety. That my mind working worse wasn't simply due to the stress. Even as I made some headway on issues I had, things seemed to get harder. I suspected the level of anxiousness I was feeling wasn't normal. I think my whole system was in a state of hyper arousal. I had intrusive thoughts. Strange patterns of thinking. Positive emotions were blunted. Negative emotions were excruciating. I always felt unsafe because I could sense that my mind and my body had become clumsy and bad at assessing, reacting, defending. I found no pleasure in doing things or accomplishing what little I could. Grew increasingly confused. Increasingly demoralized and demotivated because the good feelings that I felt should have followed from certain pleasures and victories now felt hollow. I have a memory of walking somewhere around my neighborhood around 18 and being horrified that nothing looked real. It was like I was looking at inert paintings. This examples of derealization was just one of many terrifying, confusing experiences I was subjected to throughout my adolescence as the older adults I turned to dismissed and demeaned and blamed me for something they either directly inflicted on me or that was inflicted with their participation and complicity. I was beginning to hope in 2016 because I realized my mental state had begun to improve by leaps and bounds after my emotionally abusive brother moved away and I had less exposure to him. I could still not function though. I was slow to do things. Couldn't figure things out. Had no one who understood. I decided to gamble with coming off my meds. "If anything bad happens I can always just go back on them." I gradually lowered the doses of Wellbutrin and then Prozac over 2-3 months. It felt like nothing really changed. Then 3 months after stopping Prozac, I started to become extremely irritable and angry. Losing it and throwing things. I thought I will go back on. And I think, that was the end. My head felt like it exploded. If I thought I had trouble thinking before, it was nothing compared to what I experienced after taking the next pill. I could not sit still and be calm and think. I turned to my GP who vaguely said I should go back on and would resume to a stable state eventually. So I raised the doses, fighting through an excrucating battle because I believed at the end of the road was some bit of safety. For a year, I tormented myself for not only nothing but with the consequence of leaving myself much worse off. By the time I came off again in 2018, I knew I should be doing a slow taper. But I could not figure out anything complex myself. I could not do anything requiring fine motor skills or thinking. I thought if I didn't do it then, I never would. By July 2018, I had come off them both again. Weaning by weeks at a dose though I knew this wasn't enough. I hoped that I would just have to fight through irritability again. Maybe this time, it wouldn't be so bad since I knew it was coming. In some ways, that was true. But I didn't realize how bad it could get. I didn't realize I wouldn't be able to speak or stand up or walk or that every second would feel like an eternity or that I would never have a moment's peace or pleasure or hope. And I didn't know that after suffering through torment for years, I would be left in a state that feels, if not quite as tormenting, just as hopeless. A life devoid of pleasure or meaning. A life where every pathway to anything better is cut off. My food sensitivities developed at 6 months cessation the 2nd withdrawal (around January 2019). At least that's when they hit that I noticed. They'd probably been in the works for a long time before that. Really, even before I'd come off my meds, I think. I ate very little. The few people who saw me said they worried I would die of starvation. I wish I had. Eating most food made the constant pulsating inside shake me violently. And since 99% of the time I had to be lying down, it was not bearable. They also worsened intrusive thoughts and thought patterns which seemed very much like the beginnings of psychosis. I guessed from something I read here that I'd developed a histamine intolerance and it was a a bit easier to manage. Apples were the only thing that helped but it was only local (from this province) and even they were not a guarantee. Ones that didn't work actually made me worse even that other types of foods. An apple from an otherwise good lot that had its skin broken somewhere (those very tiny nicks you see on some) was a bad one and would make me worse. I always hoped to get good ones but rarely did. Much of the worst of my withdrawal, then and now is inextricably linked to my environment: an impossibly disorderly old house mess spilling everywhere and nowhere sanitary to put anything. This not only exacerbated chemical sensitivities which exploded in withdrawal but made me have daily meltdowns because of what as been diagnosed as 'obsessive compulsive disorder" and hyperarousal. If this was extremely distressing and soul-killing before, now in withdrawal it felt more like perpetual sexual violation. I lay in bed with labored breathing, chest pulsating heavily in a way I can't describe. A hurricane of intrusive thoughts in a brain that felt like it had shrunk to the size of a tiny crawlspace so that these thoughts would ricochet around endlessly. I tried to attempt meditation many times but it didn't help. Why would it? One of the first things you're told to do is find a comfortable space. Somewhere you feel relaxed. You might as well tell someone to practice beginner mediation in a mosh pit. In fact, trying to meditate seemed to agitate mental symptoms and worsen awareness of the physical ones. Perhaps if I was already experienced it would have been different. But I wasn't. By the time, my CNS had calmed down enough to try do anything about it again even slightly disturbing certain things would now trigger dust/mold being raised and would cause unbearable feelings. I can't really properly explain the extent to which every single process has been affected. How little I do. Am able to do. How much I've needed to further shut down my brain to deal with worrying about inevitable problems that crop up. My thinking in a calm, clean environment would probably be pretty screwed up still but if I'd had that, I probably would have been able to function and my withdrawal probably wouldn't have been hellish. One of the most important things in withdrawal is to not overstimulate your CNS. For me, the bombardment never stopped. And there was nothing I could do. Thoughts (and occasional attempts) at explaining and asking for help did little good. I was also terrified (and still am) that I would be put somewhere I might be forced to take more psychiatric medications. I even wonder if I could be coerced into it. My mind feels very loose and easy to knock over. Scared. I think it would possible that I could be bullied and shamed into thinking my entire interpretation of events had been wrong and acquiesce to more meds. Especially if I was in an even more helpless position than I am now. I am constantly tired. I can't plan and organize. I don't have a routine. I can barely make food (making healthy food that requires multiple steps is pretty much out of the question). My brain has a lot of trouble with managing different trains of thoughts and things. When I try, it triggers panic, anxiety and this exacerbates physical sensations which lead to more panic/anixety. I know my clothes often make me feel worse if they bits of dust on them. I don't know if that is because the dust in this old house carries mold spores and whatnot or it's just any dust. I also react to scents from almost anything. I've seen this is apparently called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity disorder which barely seems to be taken any more seriously than PAWS. I want to wash my clothes but the steps to doing that often just levae my brain in knots trying to think of how to position myself, move things without surfaces to put things on, keep them from getting more dust on them. And doing it leaves me exhausted. On many days, I'm too tired to even consider it. When I try to think of doing certain things, it's like my brain is being compressed and pinched and stretched. I can feel it in my face muscles and neck. It's torturous and if I push far enough it doesn't help me to do anything. I just lose it and start screaming. I want to ask for help but I know that any help rendered, I would need to explain or at least come up with some lie. I don't know how to do either. How can I say: it is likely pointless to even ask doctors about this because they deny it? How can I say: I have to decide between being cold or not wearing my coat or sweater today because whatever invisible little bits of grime that got on it make my chest feel clenched and my mind go stiff and inflexible in ways that prevents me from thinking and making decisions? I can't even sit in the living room because mold was released from an AC 2 years ago and I can't tolerate the air. I want to find out which air purifiers to get but my brain reels and shuts down trying to figure it out. Thinking about having to get them together to send them back. Figuring out where to put them. It's not the unpleasantness of the process but the fear that the process will bring everything to a screeching halt and there will be even less hope. My mother has barely held together and took care of me but she is older and been slowly collapsing. When I could finally more-or-less manage on my own (getting my own food, ordering groceries, paying bills) she stopped doing anything. I get her books and her meds and she reads and comes out to go the bathroom and make tv dinners. She had already been having emotional battles with my brother for decades before this and I had become her main source of emotional support. She lost this, faced years more of torment and also heard me say (very directly and unkindly things) terrible things when I had meltdowns. Her movement and life is restricted because I am here. She is worried about doing anything that will harm me. We switched rooms because the air in mind stopped me even from sleeping. The house is falling apart. I don't think there is any good future for either of us. I have thought of doing something to land myself in jail or psychiatric care despite the certain torture of forced meds though but think that likely I would just end up there for a time, be left worse off and then in my weakness and with a further damaged brain come back home and I know she would let me. Then I would be back to square 1 and maybe in a more volatile condition that could actually be dangerous. I have feared I would be violent many times. Both because I have so absorbed the idea that I was a bad person and didn't know what I was or wasn't capable of and because I had no idea what may be possible with the brain damage I have suffered. Suicide would solve that but leave her with terrible grief. She would be able to live at least in some manner though I suppose she might no longer want to. Reaching out to somewhere or other for some kind of help means, to me, an army of condescending, reality-denying people to whom I expose my pain and vulnerabilities after all my strength has already been drained. In all my years of experience, I know mostly people do not help. At least they haven't helped me. Maybe it works better when no one's story veers too off-script from what they know. I have thought sometimes of reinstatement. I've also thought maybe the one (I think it's an SSRI) that is suppose to calm that CNS for some people. Much of what I try to think or do is sort of violently cut down even before the thought emerges. I'm always pulled this way and that. But it goes beyond mental and I feel it in a physical way and there is unbelievable force that I can't describe. Every time I'd try to write this, I would stop because of this. I would not know what I was saying, not know the importance, be concerned with the order, the meaning and interpretation, what I was conveying, etc. Things converge into a traffic crash in my head and half thought and action. I don't have postitive thoughts about recovery. It seems usually it is people who were only on for a few years at most. People who began taking them in adulthood. People whose lives and basic functioning as human beings weren't as completely wrecked for their entire lives. I don't really feel entirely good about posting now. But it's been almost 3 years now. I might as well post something. Thank you for reading. I feel embarrassed and disspirited that I won't probably be able to absorb and implement any advice.