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About three years ago, I went to a new psychiatrist, highly recommended by my therapist, to ask him about getting off the venlafaxine and clonazepam I was put on 20 and 15 years ago. When I left I had two new prescriptions: bupropion and lamictal. He thought I was severely depressed. The lamictal was supposed to counteract the effects on adrenaline production of long-term use of venlafaxine. It worked overnight. I enjoyed a few years of relatively good mood. I was also 3 years sober then, and now 6.5 years. Quitting all psychotropics has been on my mind for years. An early experience with Paxil in the 1990s--I took it for maybe a month, tops, but it made me groggy. I became sicker than I'd ever been--flat on my back with vertigo, horrible nightmares, and continuous nausea, as well as the brain stuff. Lucky for me, all this cleared up after about a week. Of course any doctor I spoke to about this had no idea. I am here to learn about weaning, and to find support for making a decision and beginning the baby steps.

Hello everyone! I started on 25 mg Sertraline in April 2021 and increased the dose to 50mg after two weeks. I got prescribed the drug for premenstrual syndrome, which is ridiculous given to what disaster happened. I took this med for 2 1/2 months and decided to taper down again, as Sertraline made me anhedonic, emotionally numbed an decreased my libido significantly. When I told my psychiatrist about these side effects, she told me that they could persist. Okay, thanks, why did she not tell me that before I took the drug? Would have been nice to weigh risks and benefits myself. Of course these side effects did not resovle after discontinuation, they just improved a little. Unfortunately I made the mistake to start taking Saint Johns Wort (900mg) in September 2021 as I could not find any information that it can make PSSD worse. So gradually my libido decreased even more and in Winter 2021 I got panic as I recognised that my genitals lost their sensitivity. In despair about this fact I needed to go to the psych ward in April 2022. Because of my bad experience I did not want to take any more meds, but I got forced by the professionals and by my family. So I took Wellbutrin 150mg for 2 weeks. This made very anxious and increased my resting heart rate to 120. Because I could not sleep like that and did not feel tired at all, they gave me Tavor and Promethazin to calm down. Even after stopping Wellbutrin, this symptoms persist. Furthermore I suffer from extreme emotional numbness (can not cry properly) to a point that I feel like a zombie. I dont have any positive emotions left, neither can I feel connected to my surrounding, family and friends. Beside these debilitating symptoms, I suffer from complete genital numbness and zero libido/ feeling of attraction. The emotional symptoms did improve a little over the last weeks, but still I dont feel alive. I is so scary what happened to me. I can't make sense of that. I was a highly emotional, sensitive young woman (who even did not have depression) and ended up like this. I can't imagine going back to my master studies, neither can I work in my job as I am a social worker, because I can't feel empathy. I would be very grateful to hear from people who had similar experiences with a severe form of PSSD and got better or improved to 100%. I know Violet who fully recovered, but she is the only one and I guess recovery is on the rare side. I wish nothing more than getting my life back. Thank you and thanks for reading Malu

I have been taking Wellbutrin 150 since last January. I k is the site recommends a 10-15% decrease, and I have an appt with my doctor in a few weeks to be prescribed the 100mg instant release so that I can make a liquid and decrease with precision. My question is that approx 10% of my aggregate weekly mg would be decreased if I skipped one dose a week. Would that be an acceptable way to start? Since I’m on a low dose, could I go straight from 150 to 100 and hold there for a while? Anyone have experience with that? I am fairly resilient to withdrawal — in my youth I Ct’Ed Xanax and heroin and obviously survived. I don’t want to trigger a major depressive episode though.

Hi all, I am looking for a bit of support as I am now three weeks off of lexapro. I had been on it for about 2 years and felt it was not working for me anymore. I was tired, bloated, unmotivated and absolutely obsessed with my weight. My husband and I also want to start a family, so, I decided to taper. My dr suggested 15 and 10 EOD, then 10 every day for two weeks, then 10/5 EOD for two weeks, then 5 every day for two weeks and then 5/0 alternating. I then went to 0 and have been without it for 3 weeks. My symptoms have included panic attacks, fatigue, crying, lack of appetite, fog and vertigo. The increase in anxiety has been debilitating. I read on other platforms that getting off SSRI is just impossible- and most go back. How do I know if this is just part of the process? Do I give up? Continue on? some positives of getting off of lexapro: I have my libido again! My husband also said I am so much more like myself- he felt I was distant. any advice is so appreciated- you all are amazing.

I have always suffered from Chronic Depression. 3 years ago, I got a drug induced psychosis from weed. My psych put me on 25mg Zoloft and 5mg Zyprexa. As the psychotic symptoms disappeared, I wanted to taper the Zyprexa because it made me a zombie. My psych told me to taper from 5mg to 2.5mg. Almost immediately, I didn't sleep for 4 days straight. I was crying and desperate when a friend gave me half a xanax for one day, and that seemed to let my sleep schedule to return to normal somewhat. When I wanted to taper further, I was told to cut it in half, but when I tried, the pill disintegrated. So, my psych told me to just take it every other day. It was absolutely hell again for a good 2 months. I got severe insomnia and rebound depression as withdrawals. I continued tapering like that. When I got to once every 3 days, I got so depressed, I went to the partial hospitalization program, where they switched me from Zoloft to half of a 75mg tablet of Wellbutrin IR every morning. But, the tapering cycle of hell continued for 2 years. Now I'm taking it once every 4 days and I developed really bad Akathisia. It seems to come in waves and has been progressivley been getting worse with every wave for last year. My new psych says it was stupid to skip days, and thinks the Akathisia is from the Wellbutrin IR. She wants me to start taking the Zyprexa every day and cut it in half, and to switch from 37.5mg of Wellbutrin IR to 150mg Wellbutrin XR. My question is, should I do what she suggests, because I feel like I'll lose a lot of taper progress and all the suffering until now was for nothing. I almost want to just go cold turkey off the Zyprexa and deal with the withdrawals. Or, if I reinstate it every day, how much should I do it by. Also, would I benefit from switching from Wellbutrin IR to the XR version. I recognize none of this is medical advice, but I would appreciate advice from anyone with knowledge or experience. Thank you

Hi Everyone, I’ve been on Bupropion 300xl since beginning of 2019 so almost 5 years. I also was taking Trazodone 50mg nightly for sleep and dropped to 25mg for a month or so then discontinuing it around June 2023. I also discontinued Losartan a blood pressure med around the same time. The doctor said my blood pressure was doing great and I could come off if, I wanted to. Around July 2023, I started to experience anxiety creeping in slowly due to a trigger thought from my past. I let it manifest and get bigger and bigger day by day until I went in full panic mode. It got so bad I went to VA hospital where I get care and they gave me Hydroxyzine for anxiety and panic attacks. I took it but it really didn’t help the anxiety was too strong at this point. I wasn’t sleeping very good. Had a couple more panic attacks. I then went back to the VA and saw mental health provider who told the Bupropion was causing the anxiety. He dropped me from 300xl to 150mg (75 ir X 2 a day).and started buspar 5mg morning and 5mg night. This was 21 Sep 23. I take the bupropion at 6am and 2pm. I also had a blood panel, thyroid test, and ekg to rule those out for the anxiety. All came back normal. I also started therapy. I stopped taking the buspar after a week. Didn’t really feel it was doing anything and made me feel weird. The anxiety has been debilitating at times it seems to be getting better slowly day by day. I’ve never had it this extreme in my 47 years. I’m retired from the Navy after 20 years and have had some stressful situations but this has really got me. I went back and saw mental health twice saying this a rough ride not being able to sleep a full night and the anxiety. They gave me rameron 30mg to take at night. I took it one time and then didn’t take it again. Didn’t want to get started on something else and the side effects of weight gain not worth it to me. Also tried Trazodone again 100mg just to see if I could get some relief made me too groggy and didn’t really help same with Hydroxyzine 25mg. I just feel off, tired, irritable, frustrated, depression and anxiety comes and goes. Sometimes I have passing suicidal thoughts but would never act on them and I share this with my wife just so she knows what’s going through my head. They definitely scare me. Definitely affects your quality of life. I guess I just deal with it now. It’s no where near like before or at panic level. Oh and they want to put me on Prozac now. I haven’t touched it yet. I mentioned my sister is on it with good results so they feel that would be a good fit. I think I was dropped too fast on the bupropion and I’m feeling the withdrawal. It’s been five weeks now and just wanted to see what everyone’s input on this is. I want to try and be done with these meds and go natural. I don’t want to introduce more stuff that I’ll have to come off of. The biggest thing I’m dealing with is anxiety and poor sleep. I’ve looked at the taper schedule and guess I’m beyond the taper from 300xl spot. What are your recommendations at this point? I think it was odd I was dropped to 75ir x 2 a day. Any recommendations to ease the burden? Many Thanks!

Hi everyone, you can call me ryuusei86 or R86. I'm more than a little concerned about being on a cocktail of no fewer than five psych drugs. I started about 10 months ago on Latuda 40 mg and Luvox 100 mg, with Lunesta 3 mg for sleep, when I was in the mental hospital for anxiety and depression. When I got home I went off the Lunesta because I was afraid of getting addicted, and replaced it with Seroquel ER 150 mg. Soon that wasn't working, and I went up to 200 mg, then 225, and so on up to 350 mg Seroquel. When that stopped working after a few months, I added the Lunesta 3 mg back. I stayed on that cocktail of four drugs until the beginning of the summer, when I tapered rather quickly from 350 mg Seroquel ER to about 75 mg, or the closest I could get given how hard those pills are to cut. I see now that the mess I'm in is at least partly my fault with these decisions I made. About five weeks ago, when I told my psychiatrist that I was having trouble leaving the house or keeping up with my daily life, he added Wellbutrin XL 150 mg to the mix. He also recommended I taper within five days to zero Luvox and Seroquel, which of course didn't work as I couldn't sleep. The original prescription told me to increase to 300 mg Wellbutrin, but I didn't want to do it because it seemed to increase my anxiety. So the grand total now is Luvox 100 mg (at night) Latuda 40 mg (20 mg each morning and night) Seroquel ER 75 mg (at night) Wellbutrin XL 150 mg (in the morning) Lunesta 3 mg (at night) I saw my psychiatrist again last week and he told me to start tapering both the Luvox and the Latuda, again very quickly. I decided to try tapering the Luvox only because I didn't want two variables going. After three days of cutting the dose in half as my doctor recommended, I was having a panic attack, or something close to it. I restored the dose to 100 mg last night, and am now beginning to understand that this could take me years to rectify. I really don't want to be on five meds, especially since I think the meds aren't right to begin with. At the hospital they diagnosed me as OCD, which is why they prescribed Luvox, but I don't think I have OCD. I have, however, been on an SSRI for almost 20 years -- first Zoloft, then Paxil, and now Luvox, so I don't think it will be easy to give up. So I'm rather horrified at the position I find myself in, and don't really know where to start. I've ordered syringes, measuring cups, and graduated cylinders, and am planning to start tapering *something* as soon as they come in. I read that I should taper only one drug at a time, and start with an "accelerator" rather than a "brake." Part of me thinks I should start with tapering the Wellbutrin, since I've been on that the shortest length of time. But I don't know how well those Wellbutrin XL pills will crush. I should add that I'm especially worried about sleep, as I feel like I need everything except the Wellbutrin to sleep, and I have almost a phobia of not sleeping enough. But this post is already long enough, so I think I'll leave it at that. Thank you all in advance for your help and advice!

Hello everyone, I am seeking support and help. I was taking Wellbutrin, 150mg XL for 6 years and went cold turkey off of it in December 2022-March 2023. I subsequently smoked cannabis and took a small amount of psilocybin mushrooms which caused me to have manic symptoms. This led to a three month long intense manic phase and it got so bad (hardly slept, high energy) I finally realized I needed to take my medication again. When I reinstated it in March, I started at the same dose of 150mg. I was able to slow down and start sleeping again, but after one month I noticed I was feeling very depressed and starting to lose sleep. I have become I increasingly depressed since May of this year and been losing sleep. My nurse practitioner has tried putting me on a number of sleep meds, antidepressants and mood stabilizers. I’m currently taking Lunesta 3mg, 40mg of Latuda and just started 37.5mg if Venlafaxine. She had me do a quick taper from 150mg of Wellbutrin to Venlafaxine within 2 weeks and I’m not sure if that was a good idea. I don’t know if I doing the right thing and I desperately hope that there is some other kind of supplementation or path I haven’t tried that would help.

Hello there everybody, I am Dara. Forgive my English, I grew up in Europe and not my first language is English. So I was on SSRI and other meds after being scare of pandemic and not wanting to leave house. So for two years I was on Lexapro and sometimes Xanax. I try other meds like Wellbutrin because Lexapro made me not interested in physical with my husband. But after I stop, have hed zap, headache, but still function. Few months later, I feel very strange, like I can feel no joy or love and thing no working right. I try maca, I try tea, I try yoga. Nothing happens and I get very scared and anxiety. i try other supplement that makes me very sick and not sleep and have tremor. I go to hospital, they put on more meds saying anxiety is much more bad, and I was on a few things for a month before having something like can't sit down at night and again no sleep and feel very weird like I am so angry and dark. I stop those meds and just stay on sleep med not benzo sleep med, but new one Dayvigo and Doctor add beta blocker. Things seem better, then again no sleep, and i worry so, stop Dayvigo. It was okay and I feel good, then bad again, but now, things seem to be more okay. Like a few weeks I felt more good and even happy. Sleeping some. Still no passion and not me, but can be calm and okay and do other things. Then some nights very bad, no sleep and scared. But don't want to change any more. So i am on Inderal- 60 mg. I been doing just okay enough to feel okay. Not working, not loving, but alive and getting better bit more. Not every day better, but looking back, trend is better like stock market go up even with dips sometimes. I okay I feel more regular, even though not me, so good, i can get better. Good enough for me for now. But lately i am very scared about other things happening to stop getting good and don't know what to do. Yesterday I got small punctor in my heel from furnutire staple on couch. It went in heel, I jump up and say OW and look at foot to see small drop of blood. So I wash and clean and call my doctor. He say last Tetanus was more than 10 years before. So I worry now, do I get this innoculation or not because it was not outside and not rusty but also I don't know. Doc says could do either way, get it not get it. I don't know. I don't drink alcohal, I eat pretty healthy foods. But I don't know what else is problem for this sichuation. I didn't think supplements make big problem and they did. I didn't think withdrawl was a thing and it was. So now I don't know- inoculation can make me feel worse and withdrawal again? I also worried about tetans! Don't want either thing or nother bad thing to happen again. I just need to get better. My question is, what to do about things like tetans inoculation and avoiding other things to get better. I look here for experience, but only few people mention tetanus and some okay and some not. i have this akethesia before, this insomnia, nerve issue, low feeling of void, and don't want to go back there now things bit better here and there. Any advise? ALso, I don't have regular menstruation. Few months nothing. Now, I got yesterday and I noticce week before felt worse again, like going crazy sometimes and feeling like worse times from before. So if i get inoculation I don't know what is withdrawal inoculation or period or all. Danke - Dana

I recently got pregnant and went from 10mg paxil to 5mg in one week and then completely stopped. I then had a miscarriage (about 2 months ago) and am having severe withdrawal symptoms. Would it be safe to go back on a low dose of paxil and try to taper off properly, or is it too late? I am miserable! Thanks in advance. Update as of March 29, 2017: Link to post below

I'm almost done with duloxetine and after a long rest, I would like to get off of wellbutrin and lamictal. Which do I do first?

Extremely severe PSSD at 20, need help ASAP I had been on venlafaxine for 3 years up until February when I was told by my doctor to taper off over a span of a few weeks. I had no withdrawal symptoms initially but since around May a very large amount of physical and mental symptoms have manifested and gradually seemed to have gotten worse over time. I have been on 150 mg of wellbutrin for about a month after being admitted to the psych ward due to the mental state I am in, helped quite a bit in the early days but seems to have worn off or is making me worse. Currently taking magnesium and fish oil to combat head issues, but I just can't take this anymore and its only been a couple months of symptoms when many others here have had them last for years - Severe brain fog, constant - Short-term memory loss, unable to remember names and faces of anyone new I meet - Regular migraines, three times a week and usually develops towards end of day - Pressure feeling banded around head, constant - Visual snow, even more severe when eyes are closed - Blurred vision - Extremely severe dullness of emotions, totally unable to feel love, happiness, anger. Crying is extremely difficult and takes effort and extreme distress. Cannot even laugh. Constant - Total loss of creativity, unable to come up with original ideas - Mind feels completely blank and thoughts are not racing like they used to. Did improve with wellbutrin but not even close to 100% - Inability to compile thoughts, not capable of thinking of even half of these symptoms without writing them down ahead of time - Social skills completely disappeared, went from being talkative to socially paralyzed and cannot come up with the words to say. Maintaining conversations causes mental agony, have to fake emotions - Difficulty finding words I previously used regularly in my vocabulary - Extremely severe depression, feeling of total hopelessness all the time. This DID NOT develop until after other head symptoms, head issues popped up during a content period of my life - Feeling of dizziness and strange vision when moving head back and forth - Occasional severe confusion and total disorientation. Happens probably once every few days for an hour or two - Feeling of being in a dream or a daze, feel like I'm spectating someone else living my life - Extremely vivid dreams, seem more real than reality - Occasional sensitivity to light - Total loss of appetite, eating anything more than a very small quantity of food makes me nauseous. This developed about two weeks ago, much later than other symptoms. Went very quickly from eating a lot to eating nothing - Total lack of interest in any hobbies that I was in love with a month prior - Irregular stool, liquid most of the time. - Constant exhaustion - Muscle weakness and soreness - Nausea - Heart pounding when I lay down, distracting when I try to sleep - Heart palpitations - Sharp chest pain. - Insomnia, have been taking melatonin to put me to bed but I wake up very early in the morning and cannot go back to sleep due to how horrible I feel - Brain zaps, seem to have lessened recently but were often - Stiff neck - Total loss of sexual interest. Extremely difficult to get and maintain an erection - Shriveled penis - Pins and needles sensation occasionally in fingers - Stiff neck for a few hours a day - Lower back pain - Itchy red bumps popping up all over - Derealization. Hoping to God that this is just a bad dream or a hallucination. I feel like a shell of myself to say the least, feel as if I have died Much of this was copied from my post on the pssd subreddit from a few weeks ago, I would write a new summary of my issues but my brain has gotten so much worse that I am seriously struggling to even read and write and I am totally forgetting what medications I am on and such. I honestly do not even care about the sexual or other physical side effects because my head condition is so awful. I am in total crisis mode and need relief like right now, I don't know who to turn to because people in my life just do not understand what is going on, I have been to the hospital 4 times in the past couple months for these issues and have been given a different and stupid diagnosis each time, the last time was when they had enough and put me in the psych ward for a week. I did not want to take any meds but I felt it was forced upon me with how bad my condition was and I have been totally stuck on wellbutrin since. Its helping a little but I am terrified about staying on it as I believe my condition will worsen as it has and I am also terrified of going off of it because my condition will also worsen then. I have been to several doctors and psychiatrists and they are just trying to give me more ssris and such and do not believe I am still having withdrawal from venlafaxine. I have completely lost all sense of self and my memory is getting worse and worse by the day, I am forgetting the names of family members and massive events that happened in my life. In my hopsital visits I was blood tested every time, urine tested every time, given a CT scan on my brain, EKGs and such and nothing came up abnormal except for magnesium being low. My brain is in such bad condition, it feels like I am completely incapable of feeling any sort of stimulation and I am clearly declining mentally and emotionally on a day-by-day basis. I am on the verge of trying re-instatement or just going back to the hospital so they put me on more drugs because this is so unbearable I don't even know if I can last another day. Caffeine, alcohol, and small amounts of junk food have caused me severe crashes and I am extremely hyper-aware of literally everything I put in my body. I do not feel anything besides pain and fear, I know there probably isnt much that people here can help with but I am looking for a miracle here. This is unbelievable pain and if I make it through this it will certainly be the most I will ever have to struggle in my life, but I am seriously doubting my ability to recover due to the severity of my case and it seemingly getting worse. I have appointments with a neurologist and GI doctor but they are backed up and it will be 6 weeks until I can see them. I live with my parents because I'm 20 and cant work or drive or do anything in this condition and they are also going through torture because of how unbearable it is to be around me like this

Hello Everyone, Has anyone had a successful taper from wellbutrin 300XL? I would appreciate any feedback. The doctor wants me to drop to 250 mg, but I'm kind of scared because that's more than a 10% drop. He says that wellbutrin is easy to withdraw from. (?????) Thanks so much!

Hi. I have been reading different posts on here for about a month. I want to taper off Lexapro, but I've been on it for over 10 years. In 2005, I was put on a very short, and ended up with brains apps and went back on it because I was super agitated. When I told my doctor I wanted to Lexapro, her idea was to switch me to Prozac. Initially, she was going to help me switch to 20 mg, but I knew that the equivalent was 40 mg, so I asked if we can do that and she said yes. I am on day two of switching from 20 mg of Lexapro to 40 mg of Prozac. I feel dizzy and have a UTI. I don't know if that can be caused by this medication switch. It kind of creeps me out. The test only showed barely any evidence of the UTI, but the doctor said I was experiencing symptoms so gave me an antibiotic. I am thinking about a post I read on here that suggested people try wean off their current drug rather than bridging to Prozac. So now I am kind of freaking out thinking that I should just go back on Lexapro and when I see my doctor in a week and a half ask if she will prescribe the liquid. I think I asked that in A message, but she suggested Prozac. I have wanted to wean off the drugs for a long time, but actually had resigned myself to staying on it for life. I felt like I was stuck. But then it was getting migraines, and my family doctor wanted to add another antidepressant Pamelor, for the migraines. At that point, I did not want to add any more, and so now I decided it was time to try to taper down. I have seen that on some sites it says Lexapro can cause migraines.

I don’t know how to add a signature, but this is my history. —- -Prozac 2012-2015–no issues-Zoloft 2018-2021–no issues but some brain zaps came and went for a few months after when tired.-Zoloft January 2022-July 2022–quick taper-Wellbutrin XL 150 July 6th 2022–started experiencing side effectsUpped Wellbutrin XL to 300 Sep 13th 2022. -Oct 3rd burning, adverse reaction-Started taper off Nov 12th, 2022 Got off of Wellbutrin XL 300 by dropping to 150 for 4 days & then alternating every other day till I could manage longer spaces & then I was off completely within two weeks on Nov 21st 2022. medications: inhaler for asthma & singular magnesium 500mg/once daily vit D baby aspirin —— Hey. Im a bit of a mess & it’s a long & complicated story but I’ll try to explain it well. Im a female, currently nursing an infant & have a history of antidepressant use. Im posting because id like any insight or encouragement. I’ll note that I’m seeing doctors, I’m not sure it’s all antidepressant based. I’ve seen an ENT for the salivary gland inflammation—he was stumped but tested me for autoimmune issues & everything was normal. I started Wellbutrin XL at 150 in July 2022, I was also taking Zoloft but went off about a month after starting Wellbutrin. went off Zoloft in August, I did a short taper (like 2 wks?). My first side effect from Wellbutrin was mouth burning started & canker sores. This started in July. Oct 3rd burning, sensitive scalp & a rash appeared. Then later that week extreme eye pain, sinus pain, ride side neck tightness, lymph node on right side was swollen, terrible headache. Next day CT showed irritation on right side with slightly swollen salivary gland. Blood was normal but showed I was fighting a virus likely. Was (mis?)diagnosed with shingles & treated with antiviral & steroid. One sided Neck stiffness, exhaustion, scalp tingling & sensitivity & flu like symptoms continued. Extreme feelings of anxiety & depression continued throughout all of this. I was tested for autoimmune issues—all came back normal. Started to see connections between my symptoms & side effects of or adverse reaction to Wellbutrin others experienced.All my adverse reaction symptoms condensed were Rash on my scalpLymph node swelling Confusion Brain fog Scalp tingling Hair lossMuscle tension (primarily right side of my head & neck) & spasms Ear fullness/tinnitus Burning feeling on tongue Canker sore outbreak Marked increase in anxiety Panic attacks Sore/irritated throat Sinus pain/congestion TMJ/jaw tension Salivary gland irritation/swelling eye dryness & light sensitivity Once I got off Wellbutrin with a quick taper (I know I didn’t do it right, but was following psyche NP’s recommendations) things have improved. But I’ve had waves & windows. My waves have had rotating symptoms such as GI cramping, dizziness, sensitivity to artificial sweeteners, body aches, joint pain, a buzzing in my head, odd pressure on my scull, eye pain & dryness, sore throat, tension headaches & neck tension, sinus pressure, fatigue & general flu like symptoms. I walk a mile daily (have since December 2022), try to eat a varied diet & am currently exploring what cutting dairy out does for my symptoms. Any advice? I’d say I’m 80% of my old self now in Feb ‘23. I have good weeks & bad week. Windows where I have great energy & waves where I have tension headaches & joint pain & exhaustion. I’m seeing my doctor again this week. I doubt they will believe this is related to my antidepressant—but that’s all I can figure out!

Brief: 33 y/o female tapered too quickly off Citalopram and Wellbutrin XR (~1 month from 20mg/150mg to 0mg/0mg) after being on that for ~5 years and other drugs for ~15 years. ~6 months since last doses. Functional in daily life but struggling. No more physical symptoms, now experiencing emotional dysregulation in waves. How can I best help my brain/CNS heal? Is "good" stress still good when going though this, or is gentleness and reduced stimulation the way? More context: I apologize in advance for how much drug history I am missing and how vague it is. I have been on psychiatric medication continuously since I was 13 and it felt both normalized and out of my control, I did not keep records and did not think about it much. I took the pills doctors told me to. When they asked me if I felt "better" or "worse" I tried to come up with an answer to be polite, but the truth is I never felt much better or much worse, even when on unusually high doses of these medications (for my age/weight). I was inpatient twice, once at 14 and once at 20. When I tapered off my most recent meds (Citalopram and Wellbutrin) I did not keep a record of dosages or symptoms and the timeline is an estimate. Until this year I have not felt empowered to treat this part of my life with the seriousness and careful attention that it deserves. To be honest I doubt these pills did anything for me, I have been miserable, depressed, and anxious for as long as I can remember and that has been my "normal". As an adult, I have learned that my mood is improved or made worse by the usual non-pharmaceutical factors-- exercise, sunlight, socializing, healthy diet, sense of meaning, achievement in career and hobbies, etc. After reading some material on this website and experiencing my recent taper, I suspect that a lot of my difficulties over the last 20 years have been the result of these medications, their side effects, and how frequently they were changed up with short tapers. I don't think there was ever anything "wrong" with me that justified medical intervention. Nevertheless, my brain chemistry is now what it is because of these meds, and I am going to deal with it. I can remember being prescribed at one point or another all of these, sometimes in cocktails: Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, Cymbalta, Abilify, Klonopin, Xanax, Lorazepam, Nortriptyline. For the last ~5 years I have been on Citalopram and Wellbutrin XR. Over a period of years I did reduce that from 40mg to 20mg and 300mg to 150mg respectively, and did not notice any changes. Approximately 6 months ago I decided to taper myself off of both medications with what I had remaining in the bottle-- over about a month's time I halved both doses, then halved again until the pills became too small to cut, then did alternating days--- I did not know that tapering should be done at a much slower rate with much smaller increments, that you should not alternate days, that cutting a Wellbutrin XR destroys the slow release coating, or that you should do one medication at a time.... I did everything you are not supposed to do, and I am surprised that my withdrawal has not been worse. For the first month I experienced extreme irritability, digestive issues, shakes, and visual phenomena similar to ocular migraine aura. That has all passed, I am now experiencing strong waves of emotion and combinations of emotion that are sometimes unrelated to my actual situation, and sometimes just disproportionate to a situation. These are usually combo-packs of negative emotion (shame/fear, anger/sadness/guilt, etc.) but I have also wept many times out of a sense of awe and transcendence. The description on this site of "neuro-emotions" makes me think this is what these are. I have found that using skills from CBT is somewhat (maybe 30%) effective at reducing the intensity of them, so that's what I do, it's better than nothing. I also have a high level of anxiety/activation when driving or being out in public, which I manage through exposure and some CBT tricks. I am experiencing some derealization as well. But other than the "neuro-emotions", these are things I experienced while on the drugs as well. If these emotional waves are indeed an issue of nervous system dysregulation after chemical dependence, and my brain is finding a new equilibrium, I want to make that process as easy as possible for my brain. To that end-- I practice an "extreme sport", rock climbing, which often puts me in a very activated, sometimes fearful, state. I also lift heavy weights. These activities are what keep me from going off the deep end, but they are very taxing on the nervous system. I have scaled back the lifting to try and give my CNS a break, but I know from experience I won't be able to reduce the climbing much without entering a deep depression. After reading the material here I wonder whether I took up these hobbies because they stressed my over-medicated brain in the "right" ways, and I wonder whether withdrawal and the healing process is going to be helped or hindered by them. Am I doing my CNS a disservice by subjecting it to "good" stress? Is it time to switch to yoga? I feel like, at this exact moment, these symptoms are tolerable for me, but barely. If they get any worse I am not sure I can tolerate them and also function in my job. I am willing to reinstate the meds to get some relief, but from what I've read here that could be a bad idea 6 months out. Today, with the information I have found here, I am feeling optimistic that even if recovery is measured in years, it will get gradually easier and the hardest part is over. However, the part I am in right now is really, really hard. Does anyone have experiences to share or insight about the CNS aspect of recovery, particularly if you regularly abuse your CNS with heavy weights or some other strenuous activity? Thank you for your time and especially for the wealth of information contained in this website, it has given me hope that I can get my life back.

As the title says, my psychiatrist (who I don’t think ill be seeing again) told me to stop taking my 150 mg dose of effexor and start on 300 mg wellbutrin. She told me I would be fine and not to worry about withdrawal. Obviously she was very wrong. My symptoms are severe. Muscle pains, heavy pressure on my cheat, horrible mood swings, lots of crying, brain zaps only minutes apart, cloudy thinking, nausea, I have it all- Ive nearly attempted suicide and I wake up every day knowing Im about to have another horrible day of insane discomfort. I told my psychiatrist about this and she told me to go to the ER- they gave me a 30 day supply of 37.5 mg pills and told me to take two today to get relief from the symptoms which I did but its not enough. The discomfort/bordering pain is back, the dread and anxiety is back, I am physically unwell from this. The way I see it I have two options-either continue cold turkey and wait out the hell and be done with this horrible drug- or go back to 150 mg to make the symptoms stop and attempt a slow taper. Im wondering if anyone has any advice or experience with this. How long should I anticipate these horrible side effects lasting for if I continue cold turkey? I dont think the 37.5 mg tablets are going to do me much good in reducing the symptoms if my original dose was 150 mg. My psychiatrist cant possibly be any help if she thought this was a good idea to begin with. I am genuinely scares that I will not survive feeling this awful for much longer, but im terrified to go back on 150 if im just foing to feel like this the whole time i taper my dose. What should I do?

Hello all, I am off my ssri since march and tapering off Wellbutrin currently at 150mg. Also getting tms with worsening results, now having more anxiety symptoms. I’m having such a hard time I can’t work and am on fmla. I can barely tolerate being around others and am afraid I’m ruining relationships. Im considering getting back on meds but I really don’t want to do that. Im starting to get scared that I’ve messed up my brain from taking these meds all these years (about 25 yrs). Im starting to feel desperate. Any input you all have would be appreciated.

tntd-severe-anxiety-with-agoraphobia-in-cold-turkey-withdrawal-dr-increased-benzo Hi to everyone and thank you for accepting me into this group. I was planning on tapering from my Wellbutrin after I had been stable on it for a couple of months. I have only been taking it since January but had been experiencing what I thought were just increased anxiety and agitation from it. I was inpatient at the time and the doctors told me that those weren't side effects and it was just my own anxiety. I have a long history of panic disorder which was under control until my husband and I decided to move to another city due to a job change. After I left the hospital it took a month to be able to get in to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately she had a very strong accent and though I think accents are neat I have had trouble understanding people with accents since I had surgery to correct a badly deviated septum. So I had to wait another month to see a different psychiatrist. I was having a horrible time on the Bupropione the whole time but I was able to get some help from a mental health urgent care clinic.They increased my Buspirone from 30 mg to 50 mg which really helped with the anxiety I was experiencing from the Buproprion, I finally got in to see a new psychiatrist and the first thing she wanted to do was take me off the clonazepam. She wanted to cut my dose in half but I only cut it by a quarter. About five days later I was in full blown withdrawal and she wouldn't believe me. She said if I was in withdrawal I would be in the hospital. I have been going to a group and one of the facilitators told me I should go back to the mental health urgent care which I did the next day and they referred me to an addictionologist. He has been wonderful. He confirmed that I was indeed in withdrawal. I was pretty much through it by that time but at least he understood. It had been about three weeks since I had tapered down on the clonazepam and he recognized that the bupropirone was causing me problems so he told me to drop it to half. After my recent experience I chose to drop it by .25 again. I went straight into severe withdrawal and he reinstated the medication after only two days of a reduction. At this point I would wake up every morning with severe trembling and anxiety so I switched my night time clonazepam to the morning and that caused those symptoms to remit. I was feeling really good and enjoying my days. Getting out into the sunlight, walking my dog, mowing the lawn. It was great. Anyway I learned about a device called Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation (CES) that is supposed to help you with anxiety and depression and since I want to get off my medications I discussed it with my psychiatrist. He thought it would work so he gave me a prescription for it. I started using it 15 days ago. The first two days were great. I woke up with no anxiety and I felt even better than ever. Then I started having increased anxiety on the third day. One of the things that the CES device can do is increase the effectivness of your medications, and their side effects. About a week into my use of the device the side effects from the Buproprion became intolerable. It turned out that the clonazepam had been disguising akathisia and the CES brought it out. Of course this happened over Memorial Day Weekend so I was left to my own devices and the wonderful counsel of my concerned husband. We decided to drop my Buproprian to 75 mg IR to see if that would help. Unfortunately it did not. I didn't seem to have any withdrawal symptoms either though. On Tuesday we went in to see my Dr and he recommended a beta blocker for the side effect. It worked wonderfully. Unfortunately it also caused me to become depressed. The Dr recommended that I go off the medication completely at this point. So starting the next day on June 1 I went cold turkey. The withdrawal symptoms started immediately. I have had crying spells and unending anxiety. I have continued to use the CES as it is reputed to help with withdrawal symptoms and to help prevent relapsing into depression. It seems to help but not as much as I would like it too. I know that my brain has to remodel itself and it will take time even with the help of the CES device. I have also been using L-theanine which helps a little. I am really trying to find some way to reduce the anxiety as it has turned me into a severe agoraphobic. I hide in my basement so I don't even have to look outside because that is anxiety producing in itself. The only way I have been keeping sane is to keep my brain occupied by surfing the net. I have also been reading The Mood Cure trying to find something that will help with the anxiety. I do have extra clonazepam that the Dr gave me and I have Baclofen but I don't want to have any more addictions than I already do. Once I get off the Buproprion I am planning a liquid taper of the clonazepam. I really feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place because if I reinstate the Buproprion at all then I have the akathisia to deal with and the medication for it makes me depressed. I would really love any input that anyone has for me. I have been thiking of trying some of the following for the anxiety. Lemon Balm Valerian Root Inositol Niacinamide (the Niacin makes me itchy from the histamine release) L-glycine Taurine Ashwaghanda I even read that someone coming off of Buprorpion had some success with L-phenalalanine but I have anxiety issues so I don't know if that would be counter productive or helpful becasue going off of the Buproprion is what is causing this. I'm also afraid of long term consequences to the cold turkey but I don't know what else I could have done. I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions. Thank you, and thank you for this wonderful group.

DESPERATE: How a normal person lie for antidepressants and was ruined tl;dr: A burned-out normal person thought antidepressants could be performance enhancer so she lied to doc that she was depressed. She was treated as GAD and MDD because she had side effects and reached a point that with drugs she couldn't function. She was eventually honest with her doctor and is in the process of withdrawing. She felt very bad, anxious and sleepless because of the withdrawal symptoms, and deeply desperate and regretful. She has realized that she has made terrible mistakes and is guilty. She needs hope/support/encouragement that taking time she will be back to normal. From 2020 to 2021/05 I was a workaholic and didn't have a schedule at all. I just woke up and drank coffee, forced myself to work, and sleep at the point I could not work anymore, ate at the point I felt hungry. So going to bed in the morning and having lunch at 3 am was normal for me at that year. I feel so regretful, I thought I was young and healthy, so I should work as hard as I could regardless of my health. So after a year self burning, I was completely retarded. I couldn't sleep anymore. My heart was pounding when I tried to sleep, and it took me hours to fall asleep. However, besides the sleep problem, I was functioning normally. I still finished work and hung out with my friends. Just my sleep was completely ruined, which is not surprising given a year's messed up. However, even at that point, I was still thinking about performance enhancements. If I was a little bit reasonable, I should pick an antidepressant that helps with sleep, a calmer one. But I was so crazy, I picked venlafaxine which is known for activating and notorious for increasing heart rate and worsening sleep. I don't know what was wrong with me at that point, maybe I was confused by the devil, I neglected all of the venlafaxine's side effects. I must have read about its side effects somewhere but my mind refused to accept or believe it. So I went to a walk-in clinic, and lie to the doctor that I had venlafaxine before, and I had a generalized anxiety disorder. The doctor believed me and started treating me as GAD. As I said, venlafaxine has notorious side effects that will make heart racing and worsen sleep. I didn't realize that, and the doctor ironically didn't realize that either. After taking venlafaxine, I had more and more frequent heart racing and worse sleep. The doctor thought it was my GAD got worse, and he increased the dosage of A and benzo for sleep, which only made things worse. Eventually he gave me rexulti, the antipsychotic. Ironically my racing heart recovered after having rexulti. I was so happy, I thought I was cured. So I went back to work. However my sleep was so bad that I always felt tired. So I saw a psychiatrist, and told her about the sleep problem and of course the lie about having GAD. She prescripted me mirtazapine 30mg before bedtime. I stopped mirtazapine in November because it made me gain 30 lbs. So from August to December(November) I was on 225mg of venlafaxine and 30mg of mirtazapine. I was so fatigued everyday but forced myself to work because I wanted to achieve something. It was so dark during these months. My neurosystem and brain have already been messed up by so many drugs, but I believed I was fine and cured and stable, and of course, I was not. My only mental support was a promise with my friend that after December we would go on a trip, a long relaxing trip. Every time I felt burned out I told myself, hold onto it; there is a trip waiting for you. And devastating thing happened: My friend went back to her home country in December and January. I didn't realize it until my work was done. I suddenly realized that the trip was gone. I lost the only hope and good thing which kept me going and not falling apart for months. My mental health was totally destroyed at that point. I shouldn't be so desperate and burned out, but after months of abusive use of drugs my brain and neuro system were completely messed up. I would say, if I didn't take these antidepressants for months I wouldn't have that mental meltdown in December. I was sent to the emergency in December. There they gave me more benzos, and the psychiatrist increased my venlafaxine from 225mg to 300mg. He also gave me another antidepressant bupropion. bupropion was another super activating drug, and wasn't helping my mental health at all. My mental health issue got better after spending time with my other friends, and bupropion caused a lot of panic attacks, sleep problems and racing hearts. How do I know they are directly caused by bupropion? because these symptoms went away after I cold turkeyed bupropion. That was a point when I realized psychiatrists are not so reliable: The psychiatrist who gave me bupropion insisted that my anxiety, panic attacks , racing heart and worsen sleep were caused by my worsen GAD, because according to their "guildline", bupropion is supposed to help with anxiety. However this time I know for sure bupropion was causing these problems because they went away after I stopped bupropion for a short amount of days. Also my sleep got worse and worse in 2022. I could only slept for a few hours, and the sleep was bad, it didn't recharge me. I was just a dead body walking. Yea I was working **** hard and that was just by my strong spirit. I was so tired these days and it was abnormal tiredness, more like restlessness. I was so so so tired, but I couldn't nap. My heart was pounding so loudly whenever I tried to nap. And of course my heart was pounding at bedtime, and my doctor just gave me more benzo, what a shame! Remind you that by May 2022 I have been taking venlafaxine for a year on a high dosage, and venlafaxine is a strong activator and is notorious for raising heart beat and causing anxiety even for really depressed ppl. I, a healthy person, have been on it for a year, and by May 2022 I have almost reached my limit. Finally my family doctor suspected that venlafaxine is not suitable for me. So he switched me to escitalopram. So in June, July and August I was taking escitalopram. My sleep was still bad, and I became even more tired during the day. And I had brain fog all the time, ironically I was still taking driving lessons. It's so dangerous for me to drive and I know it. I failed tests for other reasons, and now I realize they might be a warning from god. Test center ppl didn't know I was dangerous driving, but they still failed me. This must be a sign from god, warning me that I am on the wrong path. Brain fog, fatigue, bad sleep, my family doctor thought it was my depression that went worse. So he increased the dosage of D to 20mg(the max) and rexulti to 3mg. By the end of July, my work became intense. I was fatigued and foggy, but I have to work. I worked **** hard again under tons of pressure, with a foggy brain and fatigue. That week was so bad that I had really bad headache. I guess I was really on the edge of falling apart by then. The week after that I had the worst panic attack and sleeplessness. I lost my sleep completely, I became so fatigued that I couldn't function in the day. If in July the fatigue and fog were something I could still live with, by the end of August that became something that I couldn't live with because I couldn't function at all. went to the emergency again, and they gave me Seroquel, another antipsychotic. This is the med that kept me sleeping all day in September. But no one told me that. I figured it out after I stopped it. Oh I wasn't working since August because I cannot. And brain fog is making me crazy. I didn't have the fog when I was on venlafaxine, so I switched back to venlafaxine. The fog went away, but my racing heart and bad sleep came back. When I was standing , my heart rate was 120. So my family doctor switched me to trintellix, the one I.am taking and tapering right now. After switching to trintellix my heart rate became normal again. But still I was so fatigue and sometimes foggy. I wasn't able to sit still and watch a movie even. I began to realize something was wrong. For the first time, I was honest to my doctor and everyone around me. I told them at the beginning there was nothing wrong with me, I lied for antidepressants just for enhancing performance. My doctor cold turkeryed rexulti and Seroquel six weeks ago and I am still suffering from its withdrawal symptoms: bad sleep, anxiety, brain fog. This week my doctor asked me to taper trintellix. I have been taking 5 mg for three days and could feel the anxiety is worsen, so is my sleep. But at this point I really don't care about my feeling anymore. I just want these poison to get out of body ASAP and give my body time to recover back to normal. I was so regretful that I lied, I was stupid and greedy. I am in desperate everyday that there has been permanent damage to my brain and I will never become a normal person again. PLEASE give me some support/encouragement/hope that I will be back to normal. PLEASE feel free to blame me for being so stupid. I feel lonely, helpless and desperate.

Hi i am 42 years old and i want to share my story about psychiatric meds. On october 2007 i had burn out and became depressed and had panic attacks. This time around i had stressed live i guess. New relationship, new job.... I was put on Paroxat(paxil) 30mg. After 4 months it got better and i was quite happy for 5 years. I started to wean off Paxil starting with 20mg and last year 10mg. When i stopped it on 2013 i got strange neuropatic pain in my legs and depression, anxiety came back. After that time my life till now was hell. 2013 i was put every month for 6 months on different ads last i remember was Wellbutrin and Effexor. In 2013 december i decided to CT both. I didnt know about CT. Again physical pain was to much for me . So i was placed in 2014 In psych ward and in one month i was released in one month with Cymbalta 60mg, Seroquel 75mg and Lamictal 150mg. Next two years till october 2016 i was in pain everyday. I decided to quit again every meds. It was hell and till today still is. My symptoms when i quit everything: 1 year: Burning skin for 1 year No sleep for days 2 year: I couldnt feel my legs for 6 months Head presure every day for 3 hrs till last year 2022 3 year: Body pain pressure till last year 2022. 4 year: Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) 5 year: Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) 6 year Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) Present and also all years: Anxiety, depression, neuropathy in my feet, hands and head (pins and needles). Weird sensations in my body (electricity, tremors) Fatigue Sometimes dereliazation and depersonalization. Sometimes intrusive thoughts Agoraphobia Last window i had was in february for one week. That week was only my fatigue and neurpatic pain and some anxiety. After that week i am in bad wave and i lost hope for everything. Anhedonia, anxiety, depersonalization, body pain. I am sorry i didnt start writing before about me. I checked this forum few times but didnt have courage to write. But now i am scared for my life and i lost all hope to get well. Any advice? Thanks Sorry for my bad english.

I've been on 20mg Paroxetine for over a decade. Regular cannabis user. Trying to taper off since 2019. Many mistakes along the way. My 2019 journey was too fast. I decreased 5mg steps every month, by splitting a 20mg tablet. I made it relatively stable into 5mg (although fighting some symptoms) and then quit. Symptoms were too overwhealming so I desperately and naively reinstated into 18mg. Then I started a slower taper on liquid. Went up and down a few times and parked at 16mg for over 6 months, seeking stabilization. Coudln't stay away from cannabis in that meanwhile. Then I had to relocate to Brazil (I'm Brazilian) because of the pandemic. Here there's no Liquid Paroxetine available on the market, so I was forced to adapt my strategy. Started compounding Paroxetine and went for the Fluoxetine Bridge in January. Longer half-life, etc. Got as low as 4mg Paroxetine plus 12mg Fluoxetine. Cannabis on and off. Until last month (June). I had to take a dose of antibiotics (Azithromycin). Had an instant reaction with Thunderclap migraines. So I started going up with the dosages, which helps only temporarily. After a few days, the migraines come back, along with insomnia. Not touching Cannabis. Now I'm at 6mg Paroxetine + 20mg Fluoxetine and I fear I'm spiraling out of control, since reinstating doesn't seem to solve the issue. Upping Fluoxetine doesn't seem to make much difference. Also trying some Magnesium supplements, no success. Maybe I should kick it up in larger steps? Go up to 10mg Paroxetine? I have 2 very hard problems to solve: What's the best short term strategy? How do I get rid of migraines, get some sleep and stabilize? What's the best long term strategy? Did I mess up my Fluoxetine bridge? I fear that my Fluoxetine bridge was too slow and now I'm stuck with 2 SSRIs instead of one. Plus the long-term synergistic effects of both are even less known, which makes things even scarier. Any help is appreciated 🙏

Hello, I am a 50 year old woman with a history of depression. Here is my story and it is a long one, be warned - if you aren't in the mood for a long history, skip this now LOL! I'm one of those people whose family relations have also had histories of depression, and depression became an issue for me from maybe 10 years old and up, though no one really recognized it. I became bulimic at 16 and remained so for much of my adult life until about eight years ago. My adult-hood has been one of perfectionism, low self-esteem and under-performing, with all the self-hatred that that generates. My first experience with medication came after a rough relationship where I ended up feeling suicidal. I was put on Prozac. I think back to that being the beginning of the rest of my adulthood with virtually no libido. A major move after marriage led me to more depression, and at that time Wellbutrin was being marketed heavily, so I asked my GP to put me on it. No tapering of the Prozac, if I recall. Wellbutrin didn't work, but now I realize it was probably in part because I was having withdrawal from the Prozac - not sure and I don't have a lot of memories about that period one way or another. I forget if I continued the Wellbutrin up to the next change, but I had gotten the flu which turned into pneumonia for a month, and when I went to the doctor after that long of not getting better, he said "you are depressed." Well, yes, I said, I am depressed because of being sick this long! And he said, No, you are clearly a generally depressed person and you should see a p-doc. So, I did, and that doc put me on Effexor. This was somewhere back around 11 years ago. I upped the dose as they directed. I never felt like my depression was well-controlled because none of the therapy I had over the years was CBT - talk therapy would make me feel better for the moment but no change took place, so the low self-esteem and negative thinking remained. I guess the Effexor somehow made my life more tolerable, but I never felt happy or satisfied with myself. Somewhere along the line I began to taper down on the Effexor, and I have very few memories of when, how or why, other than that I hated needing ADs, and my libido sucked. A move and the loss of an old dog sent me into another bad depression, but this well could have coincided with stepping down the Effexor. Three years ago, I lost my job, and then my husband lost his, but then he got a new one which required relocating to a very hot climate where we were able to afford a home with acreage, the first time we were ever able to own, but it was very rural and the isolation quickly got to me, with anxiety increasing for various reasons. Again, I don't remember the stepping down process, but two years ago a new GP refilled my Effexor but prescribed the non-extended release version. Since these tablets were able to be broken, I began taking just half (37.5 mg). Last summer I had a bought of shingles and became very depressed and stressed again from the pain. I also was clearly in menopause and having severe hot flashes. My whole adult life had been marred by low libido since going on Prozac way back when, and the shingles were actually on my private parts (tested positive for zoster, not herpes) and I became very concerned that I didn't want the rest of my life to be joyless where sex was concerned, so I decided to go off BCPs and Effexor. In hind sight, that was madness! I stepped down the Effexor, going to every other day with the 37.5 mg. I wasn't aware of any severe symptoms, and this was last summer. Well, meanwhile, I was going through some stresses regarding a health crisis with one of my dogs. I found myself totally scatter-brained, forgetful, unable to concentrate, and also I had trouble articulating myself, unable to complete thoughts when talking with people, words hard to reach. A friend told me he always thought I was ADD, and indeed at this time I was losing things, forgetting what I was doing halfway through doing it, easily distracted, etc. I'm also a total clutter-bug who can't face doing the dishes or cleaning the house, though I've been that way for years. I had started taking Sam-e and tryptophan as a way to up serotonin. I was having a terrible time with insomnia. So, I went to get tested for ADD. I tested negative, but the psychologist doing the testing said I didn't have ADD, but that I did have OCD, depression, and GAD. He said, the good news is that there are medications that can make you "normal!" I bit, and went to a p-doc on a list he gave me. She put me on Viibryd. I stopped the serotonergic supplements. The first week at 10 mg was ok, but when I went up to 20 mg as instructed, all hell broke loose! My insomnia worsened, with the most severe anxiety I think I had ever experienced! All night I was thrashing around with racing, troubling thoughts. During the day, I would have squirts of adrenalin for no reason. I had days where I was so distressed and troubled, I couldn't stand to exist. I had global anxiety about climate change, getting old, my parents getting old losing them some day, the drought and how horrible life was! I have never experienced anxiety like that in my life! I stepped the Viibryd back down to 10 mg for about a week and then stopped it, and went back on the supplements. This time I was trying to follow the supplement plan laid out in the Mood Cure, adding GABA and some other stuff. I'd do ok for awhile, but the insomnia was still bad, and the general feeling of being ill-at-ease was so disturbing, I just couldn't stand it. So, I stopped the supplements and started taking 37.5 mg of Effexor again. After three days, I was in serotonin syndrome almost to the point of having to go to the ER! I stopped the Effexor and got an appointment with another p-doc who is a DO and actually not into psych meds. He said I'd been through about 3 years' worth of med changes in a very short period of time and that my nerves were very sensitive and that I needed consistency. He went through the meds and supplements I had a history with, and told me which supplements were safe to take (non-serotonergic). Since I had not been able to eat and lost weight, and the insomnia was so bad, he put me on Remeron, saying it was a very gentle med that worked on a different part of the serotonin pathway, and that it would help with sleep and appetite. He started me on 7.5 mg and said I could step it up as needed, that it was safe up to 60 mg. Well, I felt much better and it was nice to sleep all through the night without anxiety again. Yeah! But after a week, I was feeling down again so started upping the dose. Two weeks later I was at 37.5 mg, feeling totally apathetic and on the couch, unable to do anything I had previously enjoyed in life. I couldn't understand why the med wasn't working anymore! I was in a desperate way and called this p-doc's assistant, the fastest way to get to him, he said. I left four messages and never heard back! I suffered through to my next scheduled appointment with him two weeks later, and suffering it was! My family members were greatly concerned. The only thing that kept me going through this spell was the fact that a therapist I had recently seen told me about Emotional Brain Training, which I joined. It was developed by Laurel Mellin at UCSF and is based on neuroplasticity and rewiring the brain. It was perfect for me because I lived in the country, was isolated, and the city is 40 minutes away, so I was able to get support from home with weekly phone-in meetings with a coach and group members, daily work online, and daily phone-connections with group members. I am not hawking this, but if you want to learn more about it, go to www.ebt.org. Anyway, EBT kept me from going down the tubes through all of this. When I saw my p-doc, he said "let's add Effexor back to the remeron since you tolerated it well in the past." I started on 37.5 mg. The day I took it, I was having a non-functional couch day, and I would say within an hour of taking it, my mood lifted, like a light switch had been flipped! It was miraculous! Now, everyone knows that ADs are supposed to take weeks to start working. I now realize that the reason it worked so fast was because I was in withdrawal and it was like a junkie getting a hit of the drug they are withdrawing from - instant fix! Ok, I know my story is long but the final chapter is here: I added the Effexor back about 12 days ago. I actually had one day, about a week into it, where I was on the couch again. The next day, I saw a third p-doc my therapist said I should see since I had such a bad experience with the last guy's non-responsiveness when I left those messages. So, I saw this new guy on Wednesday. I didn't yet realize that all of the craziness I had endured since last fall was because of the withdrawal. I was convinced that genetically, I just had to be on ADs, that I had relapsed in a big way. I did think that the Viibryd had damaged me, since I had never experienced anxiety to that degree before, nor had I had depression this debilitating. This new guy said, "let's stick with this for now, since you haven't been on the Effexor long enough to see how it will work for you, but I want to up it to 75 mg (thanks to that couch day). We may end up changing you to other meds, but let's see how this goes for now." So, I began taking 75 mg Effexor ER on Thursday. It just so happens that one of my EBT connection buddies is going through withdrawal from ADs that she was put on for post-partum depression 8 years ago. She told me about this, and referred me to a neat video about neuroplasticity on beyondmeds.com. Her point in doing so was to point out about how EBT is so dead-on about retraining the brain, but in fact I had locked on to concept of withdrawal, and I began to realize that this was so much of what I had and am still going through, and this is why the Effexor worked immediately! So, I am faced with the fact that I am now back on the drug that I was hooked on. For now, I need to be consistent and not change anything, though I am going back to 37.5 mg Effexor since I'd only been on the higher dose for a couple of days. I will ride this out until my next appointment with the p-doc in five weeks. I am worried that he will be one to poo-poo withdrawal. I feel like, for the first time in my life, I am getting the cognitive help I need to eliminate the poor self-esteem and my negative black and white thinking that has ruined my life and got me started on ADs to begin with. I feel this will be critical to getting off these drugs some day. I feel so grateful to the universe for bringing me together with my connection buddy who brought this all to light for me. And beyondmeds.com brought me here.

Hi everyone, I'm new here so I am going to tell you how I got here as requested. I hope it's not too long. For many years as a younger person I suffered from moderate social anxiety and more general anxious feelings. Sometimes what I'd call depression, which was usually situational in nature but anxiety and depression can go hand in hand too-- I'd have some bad anxiety and then become depressed because I was so anxious. I'd been terrified of trying any drugs to treat these issues for a long time. I didn't want to do a science experiment on myself since the science is just not there-- these drugs are still a mystery to the medical field. But during lockdown in 2020 I thought, ok, now is the time if I am going to try it. I wasn't working, I was being paid very well through unemployment, and my day to day concerns were minimal. I was lucky to be in a good situation. So I thought, ok, maybe I can tackle this. I spoke to my doctor who put me on lexapro. She prescribed 10mg but told me I could taper onto it since it was likely to have side effects when starting. I started at 5mg and after being on it for a week, I told her no way am I taking the full 10mg dose, because the side effects were already making me miserable. She said ok, stay on 5mg. I did and after 2 weeks almost to the day, my onboarding symptoms finally lapsed. I continued taking 5mg of the drug daily for almost 2 years. It did help with both depression and anxiety. I felt "normal" for the first time in my life. Emotionally, I was in very good shape, if slightly numb. I couldn't cry easily and I lost interest in some things I'd previously been into because the emotional connection seemed to dry up. But the anxiety and depression was mostly gone. I was very high functioning both at work and socially. Still, after about 2 years, I was having side effects that started to feel like they weren't worth it. I'd gained 20+ pounds, a lot for my height, which gave me a new reason to feel badly about myself. I was absolutely unable to lose the weight despite really serious efforts at dieting and exercise, and even when dieting I managed to gain weight rather than lose it. I had sexual side effects too and I finally decided it was time to get off the meds because my body didn't feel like my body any more. My doctor told me it was such a low dose that I could just stop taking it. I thought that was insane so I did some reading and found that 2 weeks was the kind of tapering regimen doctors tended to recommend normally. I thought a month would be smarter. I very carefully tapered down over the next 30 days and at that time I didn't experience any symptoms at all. I was able to cry again, maybe a little too easily sometimes (beautiful classical music made me cry like a baby), and I regained normal sexual function. I thought everything was great. I experienced a 'honeymoon' period during which time I really felt good, from July to about mid-August of 2022. What I attribute that to now is that my body overcompensated with a strong response to the absence of the drug in my system, flooding my brain with transmitters or whatever it is. But what hadn't occurred was an actual stabilization for the long term, just an overblown response as my body realized the drug was gone, which then fizzled out. I started to feel strange again and when my relationship broke down, my whole life fell apart. I was plunged into the most intense depression I have ever experienced and spent most of each day crying for the better part of a month. I'd never been in a state of mind like that and I believe I very narrowly avoided an actual nervous breakdown; I was somehow completely wound up and completely depressed all at the same time, it was so intense. I thought I had to get back onto some kind of drug because I wasn't able to deal with my emotions. I told my doctor I needed something but not lexapro, and she suggested bupropion. I said sure and started taking it. That was another story-- very different than lexapro, I noticed the effects from the first day taking it. It felt like being on cocaine, I was full of too much energy and I was excited about everything. It was so intense, and it strongly fluctuated as the drug entered and left my system each day-- ramping up to a peak in the afternoon and settling back into an intense low by the following morning. I did not like it one bit. It made me shaky, nervous, more anxious, like drinking too much coffee. Food tasted disgusting and I could barely eat. My doctor told me to stay on it because this was "normal" and would improve but after one month I had had enough. I asked to know how to come off of it and she said to begin taking it every other day. I skipped a day and the difference was immediate and dramatic-- I felt like I'd come up from underwater. I never took the bupropion again from that day forward because I absolutely could not continue putting a drug in my system when the benefit of it leaving my body was such an immediate improvement. From that day, some time in September of 2022, I did not take any more of these drugs. Things were very intense and I have since learned here that I did experience the "windows and waves" pattern. I told my therapist what was going on because I started to wonder if I was bipolar or something like that, the difference between the two states was so strong and sometimes the switch was so abrupt. She said I had some kind of depression which was cyclic in nature, ok maybe. But, things did start to even out over time. Looking back I can now see very clearly that the windows did increase in frequency and length while the waves decreased. It's now March 2023 and I can say that for the first time since 2020, I feel I am back at my normal baseline. I also, finally, lost all the weight I'd gained, without making a single change to my diet or exercise regimen. It just came off on its own and the shedding of the final few pounds correlated with me feeling I'd returned to normal mentally, something I realized might not be a coincidence, which is what got me to look up evidence of more long term effects from these drugs. I think my theory has been proven, and my body really did take months to recalibrate itself, part of which was shedding the excess weight. Anyway, thank you for reading and I am happy to be here.

Its been almost a month since i stopped meds. I experienced light headedness and nausea today for no reason that could be apparent. Is it possible that this could be the beginning of my withdrawal symptoms?