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i swore i would never take an snri again after what i went through on effexor, but he suggested i try cymbalta for the chronic pain and told me that generally there are less side effects/zaps than with effexor, so i said i would give it a try. my psychologist and his super decided that i have bipolar 2 not mdd, but the pdoc waved this away and didn’t even consider mood stabilizers. when my pdoc raised my dose of cymbalta after i expressed a wish to discontinue, and wrote in my record that i display “abnormal illness behaviors” (which just means i disagree with him?), i have decided to get off the ADs once and for all.

My history with medication started when I took a leave of absense from college in 2001, after my first semester. I moved back across the country, lived in a friend's dorm room, got a job, got an apartment, and decided to seek help for depression and trouble focusing. I was prescribed Ritalin. Over the years (see signature for meds), I was given meds for depression, sleep problems, ADHD, and eventually Bipolar II. In October of 2013, I left a job both over ethical concerns and because I wanted to work for myself. I lost access to the medications I was on at the time, though, because of an insurance SNAFU. By mid-2014, I was practically non-functional, though I was also trying new meds and working with a therapist. In 2015, I ended up unable to work, moving to my parent's home, and getting SSDI. Many of the meds I've tried since then (and before) gave me immediate adverse effects, or soon after I started taking them. In 2021, Lexapro was added, and that gave me constant nausea, but I was determined to stick it out. I had to use cannabis constantly in order to not feel like throwing up. Then, when I learned about laws in a couple states passing that explicitly allowed medical providers to deny care for "religious or ethical reasons," targeting queer people (I'm a trans* guy and gay), I threw temper tantrums like a two-year-old at both my therapist and mother for two days, and became extremely activated. At first I was ranting out of terror, and then angry at their lack of empathy. It was both called-for and out-of-line. Then began a flurry of activity. I felt like myself, and like I was developing good boundaries. I told people about many painful things from the past. I was also, in retrospect, not well, but when my APRN told me to stop taking Lexapro because "people say you've been acting out of character," I was livid, because I finally felt like myself again, and it was traumatizing to hear about those laws being passed and have people to tell me to calm down because it wasn't an immediate threat. I told her that sometimes when someone experiences something new, they act in a new way; it's objectively true. I don't know. I developed panic attack symptoms, had trouble regulating my body temperature, had more than the usual variations in energy level, and had a lot of sleep disturbances. My proprioception was often way off. I compulsively spent money, but in a way that made half-sense. A few months into the Lexapro, I developed some movement disorder symptoms, sort of only half-controllable unwinding stretching, triggered also by physical therapy for severe pain and stiffness in the right side of my neck. The stretching felt good, but then I got tight again. That was particularly weird. I often had very firm boundaries over the spring and summer, getting to the point of yelling when my concerns about my safety as a queer person were being thrown back in my face. Some people told me I was hard to follow, but others could follow me fine. All of my emotions were amplified. At one point I hit a wall with my fist in my mother's house, and dented it. I offered to fix it or pay to have it fixed, but that offer was rejected. In the fall, without prior warning, my family changed the locks on my place, and threw away whatever they thought was trash, and I lived in long-term Airbnbs until March. I somehow managed to close on a house in February, and started living in it in March. The place was indeed horrible, in terms of cleanlinees, but advance notice and dealing with it more directly would've been better. Of course, they don't know what my living spaces always look like. Throughout the winter and spring, I had migraines a lot of the time. In March of 2022, things got psychedelic. I've never done hallucinogens, actually. I've also never had any hallucinations or delusions... until maybe this stuff. I was in part wrapped up in fantasies about finding a way back to having my family in my life, and in part seeing patterns and thinking I had outsized influence on the world if I interacted with them right. I saw problems and became fixated on them. I was sometimes, in my thinking, straight-up delusional. I went for lots of drives, exploring patterns - real ones having to do with the development of the highway system - but why? I became very tuned-in to my emotional intelligence, and spent a lot of time dancing and acting to music, and feeling through the layers of meanings in the lyrics. I can't remember if I'd decided to stop/cut back the Xanax before or after this. In late March, I ran out of gas on the highway, without my phone, really only needed a tow truck, but since I didn't have anyone to call for help and was very amped up, I ended up involuntarily hospitalized in another state, with no way to reach anyone. First, I was in an emergency room, and got the bends very bad from something. I was lucid dreaming, and spinning around in the bed. They injected me with something, I don't know what. When I got to the hospital, I half-thought it was all a mistake and someone might come get me. I opted to be there for three days under my own power. Since I had no access to my meds, this lead to my going cold-turkey off of Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Adderall, Xanax, and Lexapro. No one evaluated me there, but they tried to get me to take something (wouldn't tell me what). I felt pretty much fine, but half-believed it must be some kind of elaborate prank, under the influence of drugs, trauma, or both. From then on, things got even weirder. I started to forget to pay bills, I became convinced there was something seriously wrong with the electricity in my home, and no consequences mattered. I had total blindness to how my actions affected others. In May, I again ended up needing a tow truck (the gearshift became disengaged), without my phone. I got extremely sick in the car, got a tow truck instead of a hospital this time, but got kicked out by the driver of the tow truck because of the smell. I had auditory and mild visual hallucinations, very "creative" thoughts, and ended up taking two weeks to get back home. I simply let the car go, bought another car (but got a ticket for driving without insurance and driving an unregistered vehicle, and now have a warrant out for me in another state), worked on it a little but lost focus and bought an even more messed-up vehicle, worked on that, and then stopped caring. I developed bad chemical sensitivity for a month or a few (even my skin barrier was weird), and had movement disorder symptoms spring up after exposure to chlorine, followed by lotion and CBD oil. Could also be psychological, in part. I got a big lump on my scalp, a rash on first the left and then the right side of my neck, ingrown hairs on my knees. I had to re-wash everything I'd washed at a laundromat. I'd have to make movements in response to sounds, or feel prickling or burning in my toes response to seeing certain people, or other unknown causes. It's still happening a bit. I trashed the office space I was renting, because I had increased sensitivity in my nerves, and thought there was something corrosive going on I needed to clean up with salt, baking soda, some natural cleaning supplies, and clean cat litter, but also couldn't focus, and ended up leaving behind a massive mess and giving the owner no notice, after being two weeks late with rent, after the guy I'd hired decided he wasn't going to stick around. I've had a lot of scary physical symptoms that felt like they could become blood clots or heart attacks, but those haven't happened for months. For a while I had so much tension in my trunk area, it felt like my pelvic bones were eating themselves, all prickly. I have more feeling on my left side than my right. Usually when I wake up, some part of one or both of my hands is numb. I had a lot of strong anxiety, on and off. There's a lot I've left out. These days, I'm dissociated and flat, but also have extreme avoidance behaviors, a different kind of anxiety. My frustration/obstacle tolerance is almost nothing. I don't have a temper about it, my brain just short-circuits. Pretty much I sit around smoking hand-rolled cigarettes, and drinking filtered water with ginger in it, thoughts about my family or others swirling around, wishing I could trust new people and/or had local friends. I wish I could hand power of attorney to someone and tell them what to take care of. If I can get started on something, I manage to change my address somewhere, or make a payment plan on a credit card, or do some small thing, like pre-rinse clothes in the sink. The stuff I paid to have packed and stored, whatever was at the apartment that wasn't thrown away, I haven't been able to face and has probably been thrown out for non-payment by now. I've been to a primary care doctor twice, and have an appointment with a neurologist in October. I got basic bloodwork done and was fine; tried to get a toxin or heavy metal panel done but couldn't. Probably what I thought was toxin exposure was in fact withdrawal stuff, though. I've been trying to find a therapist who I can get to without a car and who takes my Medicare plan, but no luck so far. As far as I can tell, what's happening is CPTSD, PTSD, and polypharmacy withdrawal interacting. As weird and bad as things are, it's not like they weren't often like this even before I was ever prescribed anything. For example, I've almost never been able to care about "self-care," unless it's to make sure I'm not judged or otherwise for another's benefit. I can see a lot of "self-sabotage" in many of the things I've done, pathological narcissistic acting-out, some victim/savior/persecutor dynamics, but it all seems a bit extreme for it to be "just" trauma.

Hi all! New to this site This is my history: Citalopram for OCD 2008-2012 Drug free 2012-2015 Citalopram for anxiety 2015-2016 Drug free 2016-2017 (pregnancy) Sertralin for OCD 10/2017-04/2019 Tried fast tapering in 2019 for second pregnancy, failed (depression started), reinstated, med did not work anymore. Since that, only very weak effect of meds on depression and OCD. Depression was easier when I nursed my youger boy. Started again in 05/2021 and was severe last summer. Was hospitalized for a week and I wanted to try ECT which only had a very short-lived effect. After that tried Wellbutrin which had some effect nyt also made me a total robot and caused uncomfortable feeling in my body. Currently on 150mg Wellbutrin and 10mg Trintellix. I have started to think that I may have developed a some kind of tolerance for meds. Have tried sertralin, venlafaxin, escitalopram, voxra and Trintellix for depression and they have not worked even though tapering off sertralin initially started my depression which I never had had before (only OCD/anxiety). Ssri's have not worked anymore for OCD either, whereas before they worked like charm. Now I have started to wonder if I should try to completely wean off the meds... I am wondering if they are doing me more harm than good by now. All the startings and stoppings and changings of medications have maybe caused a tolerance? What do you think are my options now? And Voxra = Wellbutrin/bupropion, in case someone wonders.

Hi all - so so I tried to withdraw from 2.5 paxil while increasing my zoloft from 25 to 50. What a disaster! The 50 zoloft made me manic so I went back down to 25 but went off the 2.5 paxil in two weeks. Pure chaos ensued with crazy agitation and insomnia and practically convulsions! then I went down to 12.5 zoloft and after 5 days the crying began. Reinstated to 25 and feeling the reinstatement effects. Just wanted to connect with others!

Hi there! Im here because I am starting my tapering journey from sertraline 100mg to 50mg. Been on 100mg sertraline for about a year combined with 150mg bupropion. Im feeling emotionally stable, by I've got slight sexual dysfunction and problems losing weight. Therefore tapering to 50mg sertraline. If all goes well and Im steady with my new job (which I start januari 2nd) I will start tapering towards zero sertraline. I am using a tapering schedule provided by drugtaper.com using tablets and liquid. My goal is to be at 50 mg at the end of februari 2023. Tapering calculator for antidepressants.pdf

Hi there, I have been reading quite a few topics on this website, and would like to see if anyone has suggestions for my situation. I was put on effexor and wellbutrin over 5 years ago. I am not exactly sure of the exact time length I have been on it, and what doses I have tried, but the past few years I have been on 150mg of effexor and 150 mg of wellbutrin. My dr and I decided I can come off the effexor on a tapered schedule. Basically I was tapered from 150 to 75 to 37.5 to nothing in just over a month or there abouts. I didnt keep a track of the dates, which I probably should have. The tapering was ok, I didnt really notice anything happening. Then when I went from 37.5 to nothing, it really hit me. I had all the discussed symptoms and was a mess. I think July 25 was my last day on effexor. In August I think I had two or three good days, and I use the term good loosely here. September I had about 10 good days, October, is only at 8 good days so far. These day are not all in a row, they are very sporadic. I recently started a new job, but it only goes for another month. That has me really stressed out, as I have no savings to fall back on and no job lined up yet. My job I am currently at is good though, it has me outside in the forest, getting lots of exercise and lots of fresh air. Since about October 11, I have been having these crazy crying fits. I just cry, and cry. When I am not crying, I feel ok, but then I start crying hours later. I did go to the walk in clinic, as I cannot get into see my fam dr with my work schedule, and the dr at the walk in suggested I try doubling my wellbutrin either every day, or I could double it up every second day. He said this will still take a month before I start feeling any better, if I do. This morning, out of desperation, I took a second pill and I will continue with this, unless someone has another suggestion... Does anyone have any experience with this? When I have a good day, I still have a tightness in my chest, and I know I am so close to tears, but I am able to ward them off. I find I have to keep myself super busy to not cry, or think, as htinking leads to tears. Today is another rough day, lots of crying already. I do not want to go back on effexor, as my mind has never felt so crisp and clear. I feel unfogged and alert, I do not remember ever feeling like this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hello, just going to make this as simple as possible. About 2 months ago I was prescribed Lexapro for anxiety. I have been on it for about 10 weeks now and I also have been on Wellbutrin Xl 300. Was feeling amazing on Wellbutrin but had some anxiety so my doctor put me on Lexapro 10 mg. I’m a male 29 year old, 215lb, 5’10 hight, very into working out. Anyways I have been feeling over the past 10 weeks very very lazy, numb, no motivation and my libido is hardly existent. I felt so much more alive on just Wellbutrin Xl 300 then I did combining these two substances. I felt more alive and up for anything and was doing chores and happy. After feeling this way from being on the Lexapro I went to the doctors and told him all of this, put me on 5mg Lexapro to help combat the low libido and unbearable fatigue feeling. Started taking that about 10 days ago and have not felt any better, if anything more worse. I am getting in contact with my doctor Monday because I’m over it. Over feeling down and out. I literally have no motivation to go to work and I feel numb and I’m just over it. Can someone please help me with a correct way to tamper off of this. I was on.. 10mg Lexapro for 9 weeks. 5mg the past 10 days. I wish I would have saw this website because I feel I already screwed it up jumping back down to 5mg. After doings so the past 10 days I feel nauseous, dizzy and lightheaded. Nothing to major to where I can’t stand it but I just want to come off Lexapro. Thank you in advance!

Hi All, Background: 35yo female, been on welbutrin 150mg XL for about 10 years. My depression was predominantly circumstantial - e.g. bad breakups, living far from a support system, job dissatisfaction etc. I'm finally in a happier place in life and noticed I was forgetting to take my Welbutrin daily which was a sign to me that perhaps I could discontinue it. Because I had been haphazardly taking it every 2-3 days for a few months, I didn't see the need to taper further so I just went cold turkey on 1 January 2023. Been off it for 38 days now. My question for the forum is directed at people who have come off Welbutrin themselves. I'm trying to determine whether I'm experiencing a withdrawals and whether I should persevere. And if so, for how long? My symptoms as follows: Days 7-14 after stopping: irritability (to be expected). Since then: The primary symptom I'm struggling with which is making me consider going back on it: I am OBSESSING about food. I am hungry all the time and have put on about 4kg (I was only 49kg to start with). Also, my energy levels for exercise have deteriorated(I can't run the distances I used to). Additionally, I'm finding I am very susceptible to PMS, getting exceptionally "overthinky", irritated, emotional. I don't feel like myself and have a perpetual feeling of wanting to withdraw till I'm more of my old self and have lost weight. Is this likely all still withdrawal, and how long can I expect it to continue for? Did anyone else experience weight gain? At this point I'm ready to go back on the Welbutrin not for depression but just to feel normal again.

First off, my story/background: I was started on 20mg Paxil in 2001 at 16 years old for IBS by GP. Attempted to taper off in ~2010 over many months due to my personal concerns on SSRI use long-term but failed due to terrible withdrawal (no sleep at all, brain zaps, crying fits, etc.) when reaching a low dose and was put back on Paxil at 30mg by GP which I stayed on until January 2021. Around mid 2019 and through 2020 I started having some depression type feelings and maybe very minor anxiety, but it was fairly benign and not particularly often so I blew it off. I had an Ischemic Colitis attack in December 2020 and was hospitalized for ~1 week. At this point Anxiety and significant depression started to occur, and in January 2021 Paxil was cross-tapered to Effexor by GP, reaching a final dose of 150mg Effexor/0mg Paxil after 3 weeks. Effexor did not seem to help me, anxiety actually seemed worsened and I had bad nausea among other side effects so on March 27th, 2021 was direct switched (no taper) to Lexapro 10mg by GP. Lexapro dosage was then upped to 20mg by GP on April 24th 2021 as 10mg didn't seem to be helping much either (some improvement maybe, but barely noticeable if so). On April 27th 2021 I started seeing a Mental Health NP, who added 150mg Wellbutrin XL daily, as well as Gabapentin 200mg at night. After a week or two I started feeling improved, not myself for sure, but at least noticeably better. My Mental Health NP now has me weaning off the Lexapro 5mg down every 5 days starting on May 18th (15mg for 5days, 10mg for 5days, 5mg for 5days, then 0mg) I am currently down to 10mg Lexapro, so my current medications are as follows: 10mg Lexapro, 150mg Wellbutrin XL, 200mg Gabapentin (at night). I'm super concerned about the fast taper of the Lexapro, even though I wasn't on it for very long I have been on some form of SSRI (obviously the Paxil predominantly) for 20+ years now nonstop. I've brought this up to my mental health specialist multiple times, and he swears/assures me that Lexapro has a long enough half-life that no taper is necessarily needed, and the 5mg drops every 5 days is conservative and will be fine. I've been hesitantly following through on his plan, but I already feel like my anxiety is worsening. The hardest part is the anxiety doesn't seem to be about anything in particular, just random feelings that I can't pinpoint any cause on. On top of all this, I was started on a CPAP machine about 1 week ago after being diagnosed with mild obstructive sleep apnea. At the time I thought great, maybe this is contributing to my depression/anxiety symptoms but so far my sleep has been just as lousy (multiple awakenings overnight, difficulty getting to sleep) as it was before. I was also found through blood testing this month to have quite low testosterone for my age, but my GP is hesitant to treat it due to concerns over causing cardiac issues or worsening the sleep apnea. Aside from the mental health (which is obviously terrible at this point) I'm for the most part in good physical health. The colitis is mostly resolved, I'm a healthy weight and in generally good shape (5ft 7.5in, ~165lbs). I'm not sure what I'm looking for out of all this, I guess mostly advice and reassurance - I'm concerned that being on the Paxil so long and from a young age has done serious damage that maybe I'll never recover from. I'm scared I'll never feel like myself again, that I won't be there for my wife and kids. I'm scared I'll be medicated for the rest of my life, my mental health specialist doesn't seem concerned when I bring these things up, he thinks everything will be fine. Anything anyone can offer is greatly appreciated, and I'll happily answer any questions and offer more information. Thank you all.

Hello...I'm new to this website and I'm still not sure how this works. I'm looking for some hope I guess that's what you'd call it. I have been on meds for 15 years. Only an SSRI until probably 3 years ago. I was on Celexa 40mg, Abilify 10mg and Wellbutrin XL. I was so over medicated I felt numb and I couldn't function. I didn't know what was wrong with me & then I thought maybe it's to much medicine. I lost my health insurance on 12-01-16 so I couldn't afford all these meds so I stopped taking the Celexa & Abilify on that day. I'm still on Wellbutrin. The reason I stayed on it was I heard it would cause seizures if I cold turkey off it. I did not know I shouldn't of done that with the other 2. It will be 5 months on May 1st that I stopped other 2 meds. The only reason I went on medicine was because I lost my grandmother and I was stressed. My friend suggested I see a Dr so I did. Stupid mistake! I didn't even know Abilify was an antipsychotic until I googled it looking for answers about what was going on with me after stopping meds. I came across discontinue syndrome and then this website. Most psychical symptoms are gone and insomnia has gotten a tiny bit better but the anxiety and I guess it's depression is awful!! I don't have insurance so I can't afford to go back on the meds & go back to not functioning. I'm just wondering if I'm going to make it through this? I'm really worried. God Bless!

19-years on Lexapro & Wellbutrin. At 5mg, wanted to stop Lexapro because of sexual side effects, constipation, weight gain, dulled feelings ... quit CT in May of 2019 as I didn't think I could taper any lower being it was only 5mg, disasterous results--physical symptoms first, then severe depression, panic, worse than anything I'd ever experienced before taking drugs. Doc put me back on Wellbutrin and Lexapro after 2 wks, increased dosage of Lexapro within a month from 10mg to eventually 40mg since I was still in a terrible state. Gave me Klonopin for panic/insomnia, took that 2+ months, tapered off after 12 days, crashed horribly, ended up in the hospital...doc there gave me 75mg of Effexor in addition to the Lexapro/Wellbutrin...got 10 rounds of ECT...slight improvement after several weeks but not good/off work 6 wks. Eventually able to to function, depression and OCD better but continued feeling of dread and doom which turned out to be from too much SSRI in my brain. Weaned off Effexor Feb of 2020, went fine and actually felt better. Started tapering down Lexapro from 40 to 35 to 30 to 25 to 20 to 15 to 10 with little W/D effects, holding only a week or so in-between. Felt better, less dread and knew I had been taking too much med for my brain. Then once I started going from 10 to 7.5 to 5 and lower (started liquid version after 5), dropping by 1mg/holding only a week or so in-between, bad physical W/D started, plus depression, OCD, agitation, etc. Told my doc but he didn't tell me to stop or back up. Down to about 2mg using liquid Lexapro late August 2020. Huge physical then mental crash. Told my doc but he didn't tell me to stop or back up. Depression/depersonalization/panic/obsessional thoughts/agitation. Some improvement after a week or so. Went down to less than 1mg sometime in September, mental state really bad but did seem to improve slightly after a month or so. Slowly felt like I was starting to see some improvement and holding on, stabilizing, symptoms not horrible and able to function in late Oct/Nov/early Dec 2020. First 2 weeks of December pretty good. Then forgot Synthroid (thyroid med) for 3 or 4 days by total accident around Dec 13. Crashed worse than ever. Deepest depression, depersonalization, irrational/obsessive thoughts, panic of my life and now trying to recover but feel hopeless. Struggling to survive without going back on Lexapro, but not sure I can make it. I just don't know what to do and feel so desperate. The fear and obsessional thoughts are the worst now. Depression has slightly lifted last few weeks. Been walking regularly and trying to eat right, take fish oil, Vit D and B vitamins. Using a sunlamp. Even trying CES Ultra stimulation at home. The fear of what has happened and is continuing has overtaken me at times where I feel I might go insane. I can barely function and fear I will lose my job. Working from home is the only reason I haven't lost it already. Any advice is so appreciated. Thank you for listening.

Hi everyone. first off all i want to say how strong and brave all of you are to be dealing with these nightmare drugs... i have been on and off of these psychiatric drugs,for 5 years. specifically srris (prozac + zoloft) wellbutrin + gabapentin, abilify, and now currently taking lamictal (150 mg.) i am 36 weeks pregnant and terrified of the near future and as i haven't really been able to fully enjoy my pregnancy. or most of my youth... i don't even know what i am thinking or doing. i feel really alone. the reason of going on these meds was from dealing with depression + anxiety most of my life, and bpd + ptsd from abusive narcissistic parents. i attempted suicide right before. took about 50 pills. i had a very dysfunctional family. i am 22 now. i feel lost, most days i feel empty ,hopeless. i don't go out of my house, besides grocery shopping. i have no friends. maybe 1 but i barely ever see her , i have a social phobia ever since starting and withdrawing from these drugs. i developed major anhedonia from stopping the prozac + zoloft. even though i took one of the lowest doses possible. i had only been on these for 9 months or less. i remember stopping, as i was sick of depending on these. they told me they werent addicting and i could stop anytime,they told me nobody has ever had these symptoms, they lookde at me like i was crazy. made me feel isolated. i regret going cold turkey.. i remember being manic on them. severe anxiety, hallucinations insomnia, crawling sensations brain zaps major anhedonia, memory loss, etc. i hadn't been myself since. i was grieving my old self, it is one of the worst things you could ever experience. i didnt even know was possible. but here we are... anyways, i have been off the prozac + zoloft for almost 6 years now and wouldnt ever touch those things again. i took abilify for only a few weeks. amitryptiline once or twice. ambien, once. ativan only for a week. ive been off the gabapentin for almsot 3 years now. i tapered that one. after going off cold turkey off the srris, i went on wellbutrin and took that for 3 years, and gabapentin for 2 years. i went off the wellbutrin for a year, then went back on, which i regret once again. i took the wellbutrin for 9 months then stopped, again,to get pregnant at 150 mg. then went back on... at 8 weeks pregnant for about a month. then stopped. then started a drug called lamictal , i am now at 150 mg. i am just over all of this and wish to be drug free, but it seems impossible at this point and afraid ill never recover completely. i am afraid of experiencing anhedonia memory loss as i did before with the srris + wellbutrin. i have sever memroy loss. i feel like i cant even keep up with a conversation because my mind goes blank.. i have depersonalization now. i just dont want to accept this is the end, this is it,,. it can't be. but how is this any way to live? how am i supposed to raise a child into this world.. it all seems unfair and i feel like an absolute idiot for getting pregnant, i thought it was meant to be at the time, but im second guessing it all now. im very afraid. do you think i could stop the lamictal and get back to my old self one day? ive thought about natural holistic alternatives such as turmeric + lions mane, ginger + l theanine, magnesium, ashwaghanda rhodiola + brahmi + holy basil + cacao coffee, etc. and some work but i dont know if i should continue taking after the pregnancy and just rely on these. i dont want to exist if this is truly how life is.. i wish i never took these awful drugs. i feel its the worst thing that i could have ever done, i want my old life back even if it was so painful. atleast then i still felt alive in a sense. thank you all, i wish you all the best in your recorvery + healing journeys.

Can I just stop Effexor XR 37.5 after 7 days without tapering? incredible fatigue, throat/neck burning! 1994 Paxil prescribed for depression, looking back I was simply a young, busy, active and overwhelmed mom. I never questioned about taking it long term. 2018 started breakthrough depression 2020 September, neuroendocrine cancer surgery 2020 November, Wellbutrin added to see if it would boost the Paxil. It did not. 2021 April, psych took me off 40 Paxil 5 mgs every two weeks, terrible withdrawal. and doubled Wellbutrin to 300. at the same time added Primidone, a barbiturate for essential tremor. sick sick sick 2021 July, final Paxil pill 2021 December, 50# weight loss, depression and anxiety increased. Physical WD symptoms improved. 2022 January, began tapering Wellbutrin, dropped to 150 for 2 weeks, the 75 IR twice/day for 2 weeks, then 75 am and 37.5 pm 2022 February, basically non functioning, broke down and started Effexor 37.5, terrible fatigue and throat/neck burning. Am on day 7. Now I want to go off it!!!!

Well my signature will tell you most, but I found this site as I was searching for how to wean off of my antidepressants. I read quite a bit all over on this site and found out that I need to start with 10% reduction. And I am also going to get a scale to help in my reduction of the effexor, money going towards my health. I tried going off the wellbutrin once and I became seriously depressed so had to go back on it. I thought it would be easier to start with that one since it was so low, but did not realise as I read on here that it is a slow release one and I need to change to another kind to be able to slowly go off of it. I do not know if my doctor will allow me without knowing what I am doing, and I do not want to tell her as she does not support me going off the medication, so not sure what to do for this drug? The Effexor, I went one does lower almost a year back because I found it was causing my vision to be blurry after allot of investigating to find out the cause. I just went one dose lower and I had brain zaps for a few months and the first week was like I was a drug addict on withdrawals for 3 days, crazy! I have not been able to go lower without allot of problems, so I am hoping the 10% reduction rule will help me, I will wait until I get my scale to begin. I am wondering, as a read early on another sight how some people are able to lower there dosage by using other natural supplements for the brain chemistry to help them to have less anxiety and depression as they came off there medications, some had to use alternative supplements to keep from getting sads or help with there anxiety, anyone know anything about this? it interests me as I have both long before I went on antidepressants and wonder what I can do to keep the anxiety and mild depression at bay from the long winters, and because for some reason, no one and nothing I have tried or read in almost 30 years has helped with my anxiety and I have been stuck with the clonazepam as my only option, and not a great one at that, as the more you take it, the more you need for it to stay effective and thus the addiction starts up. I have learned to sit still and meditate since then, but still it is not enough for the anxiety, I just do not know what to do about this problem when I am off of the medication, the antidepressants do not help with the anxiety unless I am on a higher dose that I cannot feel or cry, and I feel like I exist and that's it, so I will not take that high of dosage. Long story short, I do not like the side affects and the longer I am on these drugs the more drugs they start to prescribe for the side affects I am starting to get, this is unacceptable to me and I want off this drug roller coaster ride. Thank you for listening to my first long post. I like the saying "a problem shared is a problem halved" and so this site will be a great help as we all help each other. Here's to being the warrior, not the victim!

Hi Everyone! Found this site when looking for research on tapering off my medications, the history should show in my signature if I've updated it correctly (hopefully). I was put on Mirtazapine around 10ish years ago after suffering unacceptable side effects of Fluoxetine. It's served me well keeping my relatively stable through the years at varying doses. In 2020, I burnt out in work and ended up being put on Wellbutrin alongside the Mirtazapine. I tried to come off the Mirtazapine a few years back, circa 2018 (from 15mg), I had initially split the tablets to 7.5mg for I believe a month or so, I don't recall any overly negative effects. Slightly more erratic mood but nothing that was unmanageable. I then started skipping doses to reduce the average (big no no! I didn't realise at the time how bad that was), I did speak to the doctor as my mood was becoming unmanageable and the doctor then moved me to compounded medication (the soluble versions aren't available where I live). Even moving to the compounded meds I had weeks where I was okay but still teeter tottering, I believe I had gotten down to 5mg per day but I think I dropped from 7.5mg - 5mg. My mood always seemed worse when I was 3/4 the way through the monthly bottle, from reading on these forums it sounds like it was losing its potency. After a rather horrible work trip where I was away from home and my support network the anxiety and weepiness were out of hand, I panicked and thought I was relapsing so called my Dr and ended up back on the Mirtazapine at 15mg. When I started the Wellbutrin 150mg XR I was on 30mg of Mirtazapine but early 2021 (Jan/Feb) we upped the Wellbutrin to 300mg and dropped the Mirtazapine to 15mg (May) as I was tired all the time. I'm aiming to taper off both medications but I'm not sure which to start with, I was planning on the Mirtazapine due to the length of time I've been on it as I figure will need to be slow. But not sure if the Wellbutrin alone will cause crazy anxiety as I've noticed I've had more general anxiety recently. I've ordered some Ora-plus so I can compound it at home on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. Not sure whether I should start the 10% decrease from 15mg or if I should try to drop to 7.5mg and taper from there. Based on my calculations decreasing by 10% per month I'm looking at 1.5-2years, this seems like an extremely long time. Thoughts? What dose have people jumped from on the Mirtazapine? I ideally want to be completely med free in about 2 years as my partner and I want to start a family but I don't want to be on meds or have to transition to Fluoxetine as I really hated it. I could absolutely keep writing and talking away to myself but i'll leave it there for now. Great to virtually meet you all!

Hello, I am a 27M. In January 2022 I was prescribed generic Bupropion 150mg XL off label for ADHD. Before this I had no major mental health issues other than mild anxiety/depression and ADHD and had never taken any psychiatric medication, or any real prescription drug beyond cold medicine and antibiotics. I did have Covid 2 months prior 11/2021. I wonder if Covid could have prompted this adverse reaction somehow. While taking the medication I experienced fatigue and slight dizziness at first. On the 6th day I experienced complete euphoria that felt like some kind of psychedelic trip. Colors were brighter, things were funnier, It felt like my brain was flooded with dopamine. On the seventh day, I continued to feel euphoric but also fell emotionally flat. I also noticed that my sexdrive was non-existent and I experienced erectile dysfunction for the first time in my life. I immediately stopped the medication. I was not made aware of problematic cold turkeying and didn't think it would be necessary after just a week of medication. Since then, I have experienced all sorts of horrific symptoms that have destroyed my life including: Severe brain fog Complete emotional Anhedonia (Music, food, movies bring zero enjoyment) Loss of inner voice Loss of inner visualization Sexual Anhedonia (feel little to zero sexual pleasure). No sex drive, or feelings of attraction POTS feeling very hot or cold. inner restlessness (mild akathisia?) random "SI" thoughts headaches that last for hours visual snow DP/DR colors appear dulled and I get tunnel vision when over stimulated. waking up many times in the night. These symptoms have all remained for the last 5 months. With some minor improvements in brain fog and some days being better than others. It feels as if my dopamine system is completely broken. I have somehow managed to continue working through all of this but my performance has seriously plummeted. Everyday is a battle. I fear for my future, my career, and my relationship. I fear that I have irreversible brain damage at the age of 27 from simply trying to resolve my ADHD. Id appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. This has by far been the worst experience of my life.

Hi all, I have a 16 year history on SSRI/SNRI (see signature) as well as a few years on Mirtazapine and one year on Bupropion. The two latter I quit fairly easy without any tapering worth mentioning. I'm also a medical doctor. I've read this forum now and it's been very helpful. The main reason I'm now registering is I'd like to contribute to the Escitalopram tapering thread, where there seems to be a quite well established misconception about the water solubility of the drug (I don't seem to be able to repy there yet though). Escitalopram is, as the post states, "sparingly soluble" in water (and "soluble" in saline water). Sparingly soluble by definition means that it takes 30-100 ml of water to fully dissolve 1 g of a chemical (such as a drug). (I'll still to 100 ml instead of 30 - 100 ml for simplicity, and 100 ml is at the less solvable end of the spectrum) 1 g is 1000 mg. So, with 100 ml of water you can dissolve ONE HUNDRED 10 mg pills of Escitalopram (as the salt Escitalopram oxalate). To dissolve one 10 mg pill, you need only 1 ml of water. I suspect most people will use much more water than this, as 1. there is no reason to work with such a small amount of water and 2. people seem to think you need lots of water. So, let's say that you use 10 ml or more instead of the necessary 1 ml. Now, there is NO reason whatsoever to increase solubility by adding sodium chloride (i e, making a saline solution), worrying about decreased solubility in refrigerator temperatures, etc. Note, there is stuff in the pills that does not dissolve, but the active drug does, easily. On the term "sparingly soluble": from a required 30-100 ml of water to dissolve 1 g of Escitalopram follows that in 100 ml water the amount of solvable Escitalopram is 1 - 3.3333333... g. Compare this to table salt (sodium chloride) which I believe you can dissolve 36 g of in 100 ml of water. Hence, it is easy to understand why "sparingly" is appropriate.

Hope everyone is doing well. I wanted to start with a quick synopsis of my medical background below. I took SSRI antidepressants for 17+ years. I started with Prozac for 5 years from 15-21. Then I took Escitalopram from 22-32. Along the way I was put on Trazodone, Buspar, Ambien and Wellbutrin as well. All in an attempts to control my anxiety/depression and inability to sleep. Also a little mental history - I was bullied from about the age of 9 to the age of 16. It's pretty obvious in hindsight why I was depressed/anxious. I thought the people in this world were mean. I thought everywhere I went was an unsafe place because at this time it was. In response to this I took up boxing and working out so I could become stronger than my bullies. In all honesty it worked. As soon as I became strong and in shape I became popular out of nowhere, which was an interesting transition. Anyways, that's another story for another time. At 15 I visited the doctor because I always held things to myself because I never told my parents I was being bullied or that life outside of my bedroom sucked. They just thought I was sad/depressed. Depression also runs deep in my family. My mother has been on an extreme cocktail of antidepressants since she was about 20. Although this cocktail has been quite a rollercoaster for her as well. She thought this was the only way to help. I had no one to talk to and I felt like the world was an unsafe and scary place so when the doctor prescribed anti depressants and the anxiety disappeared I thought it was a miracle. At this time the extreme side effects didn't matter to me. The fact I lost my ability to feel empathy because I was numb didn't matter because I didn't like people enough to care to empathize with them. I thought I was going to make it in this world on my own come hell or high water. This idea set me off on a path of perfectionism, egocentrism, hedonism and drug abuse. This life is not meant to be lived alone. To make sure this story doesn't become a novel I'm going to go ahead and summarize it here. For 16 years I went on a binger of sorts. Chasing all the highs this world has to offer. Whether this be dating multiple women, chasing drugs and festival culture, chasing adrenaline highs in the form of mountain biking, power lifting or cliff diving. I kept chasing thrills to fill the emotional void left by the SSRI. I also had to be perfect at this point. I had to have a straight A's in college. A quick aside (I had a long period of alcohol addiction that ran in parallel with my SSRI usage from about 16-21). This caused me to fall behind in life so I felt like I had to catch-up quick, mixed with the perfectionism created from early bullying it caused an immense amount of anxiety in my day to day life. I wasn't allowed to rest, make a mistake or simply apologize when I was wrong. This caused insane amounts of chaos in my relationships throughout these years. Finally when I hit about 31 I decided I had enough of this chaos. A 6-year relationship and all of my life long friendships finally collapsed on me. They were built on a false human. They were built on a man that didn't exist. I see myself as two people honestly. The person that was on anti-depressants is not the same human I am off them. Honestly in my mind half the withdrawal is realizing you built a life not suitable to the person you are off the medicine. I moved to a new area and started a new life. I also quit my anti-depressants. I began hiking and looking inward. It took about 6 months from the insomnia, brain zaps, panic attacks and extreme social anxiety to subside. I managed these symptoms with extreme self inquiry. I also started walking daily. I'm running out of time to write this so let me summarize this pretty quickly here. I'm not perfectly better now. I think anxiety/depression are a part of existence now. I accept there will be days I'm tired/scared and will have panic attacks, but I've learned to sit with these emotions and understand this too shall pass. Getting of my anti-depressant also gave me my empathy back. I built closer connections with people than I've had in the past 17 years. It was extremely hard to rebuild a social support system and a new life while quitting the SSRI though. I would say overall life feels deeper now though. In summary: 1) Took SSRI's for 17+ years. Felt like a zombie. I won't say it was all bad. If you are suicidal and have no other options I would say these are better than that alternative. If you believe you have any other options though I would urge you to try them all out. 2) Quit SSRI's at 32. Created a new life. 3) Anxiety/depression still exists but I now just believe these to be a part of life as opposed to something to get rid of. 4) Found a social support system that saved me, built around the real me. Sorry for jumping around so much on this post. I was trying to work from home at the same time. So I kept jumping back into it. If anyone has any questions feel free to let me know!

Hi there, I have been lurking on this site for quite a long time and too afraid to share my story, but I am reaching the point where I really need some help. To give you a bit of a case history: I am 38 now and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the age of 14 after suffering some pretty debilitating and terrifying panic attacks. At 14, I was put on Paxil (20mg) and later Wellbutrin (300mg), which was added to address the sexual side effects of Paxil. The Paxil seemed like a miracle when I first began it, and for many years later, and I felt entirely in "remission" for nearly two decades. Over the years, I would occasionally attempt to lower my dosages, but would suffer from brain fog and a recurring depression. About 6 years ago, I began to feel that the medication was no longer actually working -- I was depressed and felt an increasing sense of numbness and anhedonia. I experienced no happiness at all from my life -- no sadness either, really. Just blah. My memory was also getting quite worrisome -- I'd begun to regularly forget people's names. I met with a psychiatrist who advised me to switch from Paxil to Prozac to bridge to zero meds. I cross-tapered from the Paxil to the Prozac (20mg) over a period of about three months. It was a rocky period, with lots of what I now recognize as akathisia, anxiety, agitation, and GI symptoms. But I managed to make it without any brain zaps, which had hobbled all other previous attempts of mine. I then did a very fast taper of the Prozac and Wellbutrin to zero in probably two and a half months. At first, all seemed fine enough. And then, like clockwork, three months in, I suffered a terrible depressive episode, much worse than any I'd had before the meds. I reinstated the Prozac but now at 15mg, because I found side effects at 20mg (tremors, anxiety, palpitations) undoable. At this first resinstatement, I began to have tinnitus, which has never gone away, but otherwise seemed to do okay, if not great. This sense of not really doing great caused my psychiatrist to try to switch me from Prozac to Cymbalta. After a month on the latter, severely depressed, I went back to the Prozac, and then switched to Trintellix. The Trintellix was awful and left me in a terrible depression, although I now wonder if this was also due to withdrawal symptoms from the Prozac. Over this time, I began to experience debilitating brain fog along with the mood swings and intense anhedonia. Last September, 2021, I finally went back to the Prozac after three months off. The reinstatement took away the worst of the depression, but the brain fog never abated and I began to suffer from terrible fatigue as well, along with recurring episodes of derealization and depersonalization. I tried ketamine infusions, which I found did nothing but make me feel even more derealized. Over the last year, I changed my diet entirely, adopting a whole-foods, gluten-, dairy-, alcohol-free diet. I began to think my symptoms (the brain fog, attentional difficulties, fatigue) were due to an organic physiological issue and did a battery of tests with a battery of physicians, none of which revealed anything wrong. Finally, over the last several months, I found this website and began to suspect that my symptoms were not being alleviated by the medications but exacerbated by them. In July, I began a very slow taper of the Prozac. It has been quite difficult even with very small cuts. Essentially, I am now in a place where I am wondering two things: 1) Because of the timeline of my symptoms, is it possible that what I have been experiencing is actually an adverse reaction to the reinstatement of the Prozac? I never had any fatigue before the back-and-forth of drugs and then landing back on Prozac, for instance. If so, does that mean I should be accelerating my taper? 2) The advice on this site is to cut and then hold until the nervous system stabilizes, but it feels to me like my nervous system never quite really stabilizes. Do I keep going anyway? Thank you to anyone for your help. This is such a difficult, lonely process, and I am very grateful that this group even exists.

MOD NOTE : RealMe's Introduction thread is here ------------------------------------ Because of what I learned here and with the support I found here, I have been completely free of anti-depressants. I have not taken any mood altering chemicals in over two years, so I finally feel competent to write my success story. When I got here I was so confused, I'm not even sure what I was taking. I reported my symptoms to the psychiatrist, primary care doctor and therapist, and all were in total agreement that I "needed medication." Even in my confused mental state, I finally realized that nothing they recommended was doing anything but making me worse. When I tried to get support to withdraw from psychiatric medications, I was told I was having a resurgence of my "depression." No one in the medical field that I came in contact with would support me in my desire to get off meds, and no one would acknowledge the phenomenon of "withdrawal syndrome" from anti-depressants. To this day, I have a very skeptical attitude toward all doctors and feel that, regardless of how well-meaning they might be, they are nevertheless medicating people into senselessness. My mantra is to "never snivel or weep in front of anyone with a prescription pad." When I was 19, I went to the clergy for help with nervousness and low self esteem. From there I was referred to a psychiatrist who gave me Valium. That was the beginning of the end for me. Now I had an addiction to sedatives along with increasing nervousness and lower self esteem. Later I was given Tofranil, Elavil, Desyrel, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Abilify (a real killer in my experience) and some others. I gained a ton of weight and lost my ability to feel normal feelings at all. I remember being at my father's funeral and thinking something must be wrong because I didn't cry. Not only did I not cry, I couldn't feel anything. And I loved my father. Over the years, I tried on my own many times unsuccessfully to detox from these prescribed medications. By the time I arrived at this web site, I was trying to withdraw from Abilify, Wellbutrin and Prozac. I learned about slow and steady until I had decreased my dosage of Prozac to liquid from a dropper. It was extremely difficult to get my doctor to prescribe the liquid form for my detox because he was still insisting that I could not do without a full dose! He insisted that I see a therapist and agree to go back on medication if I "got worse." I don't think about that process very much. I went to the therapist and told him whatever I thought would convince him that I was fine without medication. Then I would report my true and actual symptoms to the people on this forum and took their suggestions. Thinking of "puppies and kittens" as a coping strategy makes me smile to this day. What I do think about often is that I have been drug free for a long time. I feel happy, sad, anxious, calm, confident, worried, fearful, full of faith. In other words, I am leading a normal life with a full range of emotions that are appropriate to either what life throws at me or what life offers to me. At first, I feared that I was too old to change after years of being in psychiatry land, but I wasn't. I believed what I discovered here, and I am extremely grateful to have survived anti-depressant withdrawal.

Hi, sorry in advance, I am a non-native English speaker. In Sep. 2021 I was “diagnosed” with burnout syndrome, after working way too much over years, basically day and night as a vet surgeon. I was resting and things were slightly improving until dec. 21, I felt really fatigued and weak, but never low mood or depressed. Sleep was always good. In Jan. 22, I was prescribed first time in my life with an AD, Brintellix 5 mg (med history in my signature). In March 22 I was stopped from 10 mg Brintellix because of many physical symptoms and ended in hospital with weakness, muscle pains, couldn’t barely walk. What I didn’t know then, I was probably suffering from wd symptoms. 1. April I was set back on 5 mg, raised to 20 mg till 17. May. Suffered from severe physical smyptoms couldn’t barely walk, ataxia, muscle weakness, nausea, dizziness, vertigo & fatigue. Then the doc made me reduce again in Jul. to 10 mg, the symptoms were stabilizing after two weeks, but the doc gave me Wellbutrin 150 mg, stopped after 3 days, this was hell!! Read afterwards Wellbutrin is “doubling” the dose from Brintellix! 24. Aug I reduced to 5 mg, symptoms were stabilizing after 10 days but doc made me stop in a few days with 5 – 0 mg. Since 14. Sep. no meds at all, after 2 days all hell broke loose: itch on the whole body (never had before), flu like symptoms (never had before), neuropathic pains, muscle pains, stomach ache (never had before), weakness, headaches, light sensitivity, dizziness, fatigue and so on. And yesterday I stumbled on this forum. I am speechless, angry, and sad, this is crazy, nobody ever told me to taper off slowly, this is insane. And it says in the booklet from Brintellix you can stop immediately! I’ve spent hours reading in your topics and your work is very much appreciated, wow! So now I think I am suffering from wd symptoms. Should I go back now on a low dose brintellix to stabilize? And then taper off slowly? How much should I take? 0.5 mg or more? I am so desperate. Right now, I am taking Vit. C 500 mg and Omega 3 fish oil since yesterday, and that’s it. Thanks for your advice in advance Much love Flo75

oranda - cold turkey escitalopram like a dummy, trying to figure out what to do next Hiya doods, so glad to be here. My journey started during my time in University. School and I did not get along and by my junior year, I was drowning and my friends noticed my suffering and tried their best to support me. At the beginning of senior year (2019), my friends finally convinced me to see a therapist. I was scared of medication at the time and figured it was the best way to go. It was great! Learned so much and am eternally grateful to that kind lady for helping me rebuild my foundation. Unfortunately with the whole covid thing and finishing my degree, therapy wasn't enough, so I saw a psychiatrist. Diagnosed MDD and ADHD (the latter Dx made my whole life just make sense). She started me on escitalopram (10mg) and buproprion XL (150mg). I was afraid to take stimulants so was told buproprion had some stimulant-like qualities and could help counteract sexual side effects from the escitalopram. Loved the post on that whole idea btw! This was so good for me though. Zero regrets. Looking back at old journal entries from before the meds and I don't even recognize that person anymore. I had no self-worth and my self-image/talk is heartbreaking to read now. Things got interesting when I started my career after graduating because some problems arose with respect to my ADHD. My struggles and (bad) coping mechanisms for ADHD caused anxiety and some depression too. So back to the psych and did Concerta (18mg) for a month, methylphenidate IR (10mg) for a month, and then switched to Methylphenidate SR (20mg) and was on that for idk a year? Memory bad. Stopped taking because even though the mental effects were good, the increased heart rate/physical side effects were not my friend. Tried Strattera but only lasted 2 days. Real bad side effects. Here's where things start to get interesting and my current sticky situation. Over the summer, my psych left the practice I was going to and I switched to a new one. He delightful. In telling him my story that basically my depression felt under control but my inattentive ADHD is what's causing me more problems. I said I was open to trying new things but wary of the medication roller coaster a lot of people go through. He recommended I take the GeneSight test to narrow down the list of medications to choose from. Sure thing dude. We also upped my burpropion XL to 300mg hoping it might help with the ADHD without giving me the jitters like the stimulants did. Got my results back in August, psych says lets switch from escitalopram to vilazodone. I have bad memory so I don't remember exactly why we picked that one but I remember it had something to do with vilazodone having a component to it that should help with the anxiety I sometimes have due to ADHD symptoms (aka I struggle to get started on a task because it feels insurmountable but then I get anxious because I need to do the thing to not get fired). Pysch recommended I take 5mg escitalopram for a week, then start the vilazodone. I had to wait for the new med to come in the mail and then I went on a vacation and didn't want to deal with med change on vacation so fast forward to like 2 weeks ago. Remember how memory bad? I forgot he said to taper off the escitalopram and just stopped it and started taking the vilazodone. 3 days later I realized what I had done but didn't really know what to do about it and just decided to stay the course. As you would expect, BAD, BAD withdrawal symptoms ensue. 7 days after this cold turkey switch, the brain zaps and total discomfort was so bad I was just laying in bed crying. I decided to roughly cut an escitalopram tablet and took ~2.5mg. After a long nap and allowing my body to metabolize, I felt better. Certainly not 100%, but much more manageable. Today is 11 days post cold turkey switch. Here's the thing, after talking to family and friends and researching over the last days, I think I just want to stop the SSRI altogether. Also want to try going back to 150mg buproprion and maybe even stop that too, but that's a future problem. Researching this, I found this forum and got mega scared because of the recommended 10% taper. What's a homie to do in a pickle like this? I don't feel great currently and I really don't want to induce long lasting withdrawal side effects. Current ideas for what to do, all of which I would continue buproprion 300mg and consider changing anything with that much, much later. 1. Aggressive taper - start 5mg escitalopram and do that for a 2-4 weeks, then 2.5mg for 2-4 weeks and call it a day. "easy" since I could rough cut my 10mg tablets to achieve this. - stop vilazodone Thought process here is that my body is already a little used to not having escitalopram so maybe I don't need to start all the way at the beginning. Concern here is that even though I'm mostly feeling okay now, more withdrawal side effects can develop and worsen. 2. Cautious taper - start 10mg escitaopram for 2-4 weeks to kind of reset my body to what it was earlier. Then properly 10% taper. - drop to 5mg vilazodone for one week, then stop. Assumption here that my body doesn't have much dependence on this drug yet. 3. Conservative taper - start 10mg escitaopram again - accelerated taper for vilazodone. 1-2 weeks per 10%. Again, based on the assumption I don't have much dependence, so I could do this more quickly - once done with vilazodone, properly 10% taper escitalopram. Just writing all this out has made me feel immensely better. I'm leaning towards cautious taper. I was on escitalopram for over 2 years, so I feel like I'm a solid candidate for having a harder time with withdrawal side effects. So! If anyone has heard of or gone through a weird situation like this, I'd love feedback on my above ideas. Thanks so much for taking the time to listen (read) my story.

I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder over 15 years ago. As best I can recall, I was prescribed 450 mg bupropion and 20 mg Escitalopram and maybe 40 mg of Lamictal. I went off them suddenly about 8 years ago and had terrible withdrawal symptoms. A new doctor put me on a lower dosage of bupropion, about 200 mg and kept me at 20 mg Escitalopram. I became dissatisfied and found a new doctor who suggested Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) which gave me some relief from my depression. A new doctor prescribed 150 mg bupropion, 20 mg Escitalopram, 4.5 mg pramipexol and a 4th I can't recall. I had been on this cocktail mix for at least 2 years. Earlier this year I began tapering, taking the medications once a week, then stopped altogether in about June. In July I began experiencing sudden vomiting spells out of the blue, lasting a full day, then going back to normal. I experienced one episode every 1 to 2 weeks for 6 episodes. Then 6 days ago I started trembling with anxiety every morning. It dissipates by the evening but I am non-functional for the entire day. My psychiatrist insists I am not going through withdrawal but is telling me to go back on a low dose of Escitalopram. I don't want to do it but need my life back. Any advice would be appreciated.

Hello everyone I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been really unhappy with the prospects of my treatment, and was desperate to find an alternative. First, I must admit that I'm a bit overwhelmed by the website - there is so much information (which is amazing, but also daunting), so please forgive me if I'm doing something wrong, or not asking the right questions. So a bit about myself... I'm 42, assigned male at birth. I've suffered from very mild depression the majority of my life, I think. Definitely since my early 20s. All my life I refused to take anti-depressants or any sort of psychiatric medication, but then when I was 30 my mild depression became slightly less mild (but still very low) and I fell for peer pressure and people talking me into the fact that it's a chemical imbalance and by treating it, somehow my life will be perfect. So I was prescribed Citalopram (I can't remember the dosage, but it wasn't a lot). I hated it! And after about 6 months I weened myself off it according to the guidelines - but it was too late - and the damage was done. My mild depression turned gradually into severe depression, until when I Was about 36 it became debilitating. I was unable to move most of the time, but continued to refuse to take medication. Sadly, it became so bad that I couldn't keep on torturing the people around me and I decided to give medication another try - refusing to take SSRIs, but my psychiatrist suggested I take Elontril - which is Bupropion Hydrochrloride. I started off with a dosage of 150-300 a day before settling on 150mg a day. My psychiatrist also promised me that it's very likely that after a year I'd be able to quit (a reassurance I desperately needed). Now, I'm not going to lie... since I started taking them, I'm like a new person. I'm back to being my old self - I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm experiencing happiness for the first time in forever. However, it's now been 3 years since I started, and I hate having to be dependant on medication. After a year, as promised, I tried weening off the meds, according to guidelines, and as I'm sure you all know - it did not turn out well! So I had to continue again, and now I'm taking 150 mg every day. I'm really scared of the potential side effects of quitting, but I also know that I have to do it, so I'm looking for advice from anyone who has taken Elontril or Bupropion - how best to do it, and what I can expect, or if there are any articles out there about this... Thank you so much for your attention.

Hi everybody! In my late teens started Citalopram 20 mg. It helped me. But what I really would have needed then was therapy - which I thankfully receive now, 17 years later. About half a year after starting Citalopram I quit it, quick taper. Endured WD-symptoms. Had to go back to Citalopram maybe a couple of months later because of recurring depression. Doc later change my med to Sertraline 50 mg because of sexual side effects. Of course this didn't help. I resigned to the fact that there was a "chemical imbalance" in my brain..... From then on I've tried tapering several times! Slowest tapering was three months. But still the depression recurred 1-3 months after each tapering attempt. I've experienced mild WD-symptoms with slow tapering. In 2008 I started having restless legs. It eventually became really debilitating. I started taking Sifrol, a dopamine agonist. Which helped but I had some side effects. I changed both meds to Wellbutrin 150 mg 2 yrs ago. Wellbutrin alleviates restless legs - it is in part a dopamine re-uptake inhibitor. Supposed to be antidepressive so I thought I could manage with only one pill. I felt well in 3 months, then became depressed, increased to 300 mg, after 3 months more I had to add Sertraline 25 mg, after another 3 months Sertraline 50 mg. From then on my depression was in remission but I started having memory problems, problems focusing, problems with planning and organizing things. I had palpitations, tremor. Eventually I was totally burned out. This was a year a go and since then I'm on sick leave. Lowered Wellbutrin to 150 mg this spring, palpitations almost diminished, still experiencing some tremor. My fatigue worsened - my doc saw this as a worsening of the depression so the Sertraline was increased to 75 mg. 3 months later to 100 mg. And now - I'm still tired, but my mood is better. I feel that my memory problems have worsened a bit. At least they are not better! I'm afraid the cognitive impairments are due to my meds, especially Wellbutrin. I've lowered Sertraline to 87,5 mg a month ago. Wellbutrin to 37,5 mg x 3 4 days a go. Feeling ok! I want to be totally med free - I've wanted that so long and have always had a creepy feeling that the meds are messing up my brain! One doctor told me I have to eat these pills for the rest of my life but I refuse to believe him. I'm planning on tapering much more slowly now. I think my depression recurred so many times because of too quick tapering. The restess legs is a side effect of Sertraline. I guess the the fatigue and the yawning that I've become so accustomed to also are side effects. I often find it difficult to have an opinion, of what to choose, of what to decide. I wasn't like that in my childhood I've been told. I want to find myself again. And I'm so glad I've found this forum because you guys give me hope!