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Hello everybody, first of all I wanted to say thank you to everyone on here. I wouldn’t have even known I was in withdrawals if it wasn’t for this site. This is my third and final (fingers crossed) attempt at kicking AD for good. It’s about to be 4 months since my last pill. A great deal of my symptoms have either completely gone away or have lessened in severity. I’ve been writing down every single symptom I’ve felt and when they’ve disappeared. I would be more than glad to share them on here if it would help someone but I also don’t want to trigger anybody. The first 2 times I tried tapering off I was always immediately put back on something because doctors said it was the anxiety coming back. Believing them, I would just start right back up where I had left off. This past November my doctor switched me over from 20 mg of Escitaloproam to 20 mg of Fluoxetine. So once I switched over I did 1 week of 20 mg of Fluoxetine, the next week I did 10 mg of Fluoxetine, the next week I took 10 mg of Fluoxetine one day and skipped the next day, then the next week I took nothing. Looking back I did start having very mild symptoms after a few days but I kind of just brushed them off. The symptoms hit me REALLY hard a month later. Everything from my heart racing causing me to wake up in the middle of the night, short fuse, intense anger, incredibly vivid dreams/nightmares, and other things. Almost 4 months out I can honestly say I feel better but I definitely don’t feel healed yet. I’ve felt very discouraged these past 2 weeks but I’m not sure why. The symptoms haven’t gotten worse or anything but the discouragement is just there. I read about the windows and waves and can definitely relate but reading about intense waves returning at 3, 6, 9, and 11 months definitely did not help with the discouragement. My doctor does not believe in withdrawals and told me I shouldn’t have any sort of side effects after a month of stopping medication. When I showed her my long list of symptoms she just waved her hand and told me that although I didn’t have to agree with her it was just anxiety returning. Needless to say I no longer have a doctor I go to. Today I am here just looking for encouragement. Even though I have my husband, my parents, and my friends cheering me on, feeling the symptoms definitely makes me feel alone sometimes.

Hi all, I have been on Zoloft for nearly 7 years before coming off of it a couple of months ago. I wasn't feeling good but it was manageable until recently when I had experienced something on the verge of a panic attack, but never quite close to it that lasted more than 12 hours before subsiding and have not been the same since then. Have been feeling especially worse in the mornings and dread having to go to sleep in fear of what is to come and have started getting interrupted sleep along with very frequent urination and overwhelming fatigue. Anything is now too stimulating and I am worried it may be related to some other condition but after researching it it seems like this may be PAWS. Going to talk with my psychiatrist about it and how to deal with it and although the pain was unbearable two weeks ago, things have begun to "stabilize" so to speak in that I am not nearly completely bed bound and can do some activities without crashing. However, when anxiety and stress is bad, it is very bad, trying to avoid it as much as possible. Feeling hopeful now but when in that state, usually in the morning or when very stressed, things become very dark to the point of considering suicide. This was what really concerned me. Have heard of some people reintroducing a small dose back to help stabilize but even now still skeptical of trying it. Just would like to have some level of normalcy back, as I think anyone would here. Thank you.

Hello Surviving Antidepressant friends Around 18 months ago I posted this thread desperately seeking help for tapering gone wrong. I had been on a treatment dose of 300mg of Effexor, which I had reduced around 80%. I went to a psychiatrist to seek advice on tapering and bridging and he told me the amount I was on was almost nothing and there would be no issue if I tapered off over a couple of weeks. That caused the worst withdrawal I have ever had, including what felt like 48 hours of suicidal panic attacks and inability to sleep. My memory from that time is blurry. Anyway. After that I tapered back on to Effexor until the worst of the discontinuation syndrome subsided, which ended up being back up to 10mg, or 30 beads. I stayed that way for around 8 months before trying to go off again. I would take my dose every morning in the same place, around the same time, by pouring out the little beads onto my hand, counting them, taking them, then brushing my teeth. The next time I started going off I reduced by 1-3 beads every 3-4 days (more at the beginning, fewer at the end). I also conducted a little placebo conditioning experiment with myself, where I replaced the lost beads with white 100s and 1000s (I think Americans call them sprinkles?). I figured, after reading up on the classical conditioning mechanism in the placebo effect, that the eight months of "ritual" around taking the drug might be sufficient to allow the placebo sugar beads to have the same effect as the drug on my brain. Once there were no more drug beads I continued "taking" the 100s and 1000s each morning for a few weeks. I'm not going to recommend the placebo approach outright for obvious reasons (I am not a doctor or scientist; my understanding of the placebo effect is probably rudimentary). However, in my specific case, the experience of going from 30 beads to 0 beads, was a million times better the second time than the first. Other factors that likely helped: It was about 5 times slower than the first time; I had adjusted to the 30 bead dose before I started; I took even longer gaps between reductions of the last beads; I was not working as much as I went through this process. Now. While it was easier than the first time, it was still not easy. I felt churned up emotionally and was super irritable, I had rage flashes, my anxiety increased hugely, anhedonia returned, I had nausea, and my muscles, particularly in my legs, spasmed and twitched, often violently. I could, however, sleep for the most part, and none of these symptoms got too much in the way of life (granted I was not working very much and I work for myself anyway; it would have interfered if I worked for someone else). It helped to know that if I could just get through those few weeks then things would probably get better. These symptoms lasted around 2 weeks after the final drug dose, which was early April 2017. And things did get better. For me, most of the side effects of the drugs have now gone. Most significantly, my sense of self and my creativity have returned. It had felt like they were being numbed or muted by the drugs, and I couldn't access them. Off the drugs I now have access to them. Similarly, my ability to enjoy sex has improved, and I don't feel like that side of me is muted either. The above is really tremendous; feeling like yourself again instead of a weird muted robot alien is a big relief. However, while I consider the drug withdrawal to be 100% successful and 100% the right decision for me, I should caveat that with the following context: The drugs appeared to be muting extreme unresolved emotional distress, both from childhood stuff and from rape and sexual assault from a few years ago. The pain from this sort of exploded when the drugs went away. My primary diagnoses are anxiety and major depression, but it appears even those were symptoms of childhood stuff. When I came off the drugs it was the first time I had been drug free in around 13 years. I am highly sensitive and have a big emotional world, but I never learned how to regulate stimulation and emotion, and then had it muted by drugs. When I came off the drugs the emotions and stimulation were pretty extreme and often overwhelming. I took from that that I should learn skills of emotion regulation though, rather than that I should go back on the drugs. Even with only 3-4 months of practice, I am hugely improved and the emotions and stimulation overwhelm me much less frequently. (Now they inform my creative work and my service work, and are real positive assets for me, albeit ones that require sensitivity and management.) I have the great privilege of being able not to work for a while while I recover fully, which is lucky because I cannot currently work. I put that down to unresolved trauma that has now come to the fore rather than drug withdrawal. I am doing deep dive work with my psychologist that is helping more than any other talk therapy I've done, and I think that work will be sufficient to return me to work eventually. I see her weekly. That work is also subsidised by the government because it is about recovery from sexual trauma, meaning for now I do not pay anything for it (another enormous privilege). I have a partner who is extraordinarily supportive and gets what is happening for me. He judges fair contribution to the relationship by reference to each partner's capacity, and thinks that because he has more capacity right now it is fair that he do more housework, financial contribution etc than me. This has allowed me not to push myself beyond capacity, which has meant I have recovered more quickly. In conclusion, while I am currently not working and my capacity to do a lot of things is severely restricted, I could not be happier that I am off the drugs. I feel like I have real issues (childhood trauma and sexual trauma) that require serious work, but now I feel like I am actually properly addressing them, instead of having them be muted yet just as destructive. I also no longer have the drug side effects interfering with my ability to enjoy things, make music and comedy, have intimacy with my partner, meaning recovery feels more authentic and there is more joy in it. Things still hurt a lot, but my world feels real in a way it wasn't on the drugs. It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't come off these drugs before. In simple terms: I have hope. I can experience joy and enjoyment. I am excited about what the rest of my life might bring. Even while I know that I am in the middle of pretty extreme emotional upheaval and trauma processing, life is better than it has ever been. I am finally able to be fully, authentically myself, in ways that the drugs (and the trauma and mental health issues) got in the way of. I am optimistic.

Hi Thank you for this forum! I am in a mess right now and need some advice. In february I decided to give lexapro 10 mg a try as I struggled more and more with ocd. That decision took everything away from me! Drug history prior to this: Paxil 20- 40 mg from 1991-2000 and 2003-2015. Prozac 5 mg 2015 to february 2021 (plus 5 mg valium as needed for anxiety, 2 to 4 times a week ) Back to lexapro and 2021: I experienced adverse effects after 4 weeks: motor dysfunction in teeth/jaw. But I hoped it was initial side effects that would go away. So I continued. After lowering my dose to 5 mg, then 2,5 then 1,25 with problems still there, I quit on May 7th. I am now in WD worse than ever! I am in anxiety-terror 24/7 and have terrible insomnia. The physical symptoms are many and terrible, I never had physical symptoms in WD before. I got so sick I eventually wanted to end everything - and my family couldnt cope. I was then voluntarely commited to a psyciatric hospital. Both the hospital and my family wanted me to start medication again. I refused, which was unpopular. Then they wanted me to get ECT treatment in stead. So, being desperate to do something, I started a small dose of paxil. I started with 0,2 mg, went up to 1,7 mg in hope of a positive effect. (Why paxil? Not daring to reinstate lexapro(adverse effect) , and the prozac never helped my anxiety, and I was desperate for something to work) I almost immediatly regretted it. But now I was terrified to quit. What if things got worse? Also my family kept begging me to be on medication, as I behave in a crazy way. Its been close to five weeks on Paxil now. (Yesterday I learnt on your forum that I may could have just quit it if I i did it sooner. My regret ocd is terrible, so I have to try to forgive myself). So now my question is: how do I taper from here? Or is it unsafe to change anything now? I think I have gotten back a side effect from Paxil, (the irony - no benefits, just downsides). So I really want to get off it. Thanks for being here for us! (I didnt figure out how I put my Drug history in the footer? Only have an iPhone available right now. )

Hello Everyone, I am new to this forum and I am excited there is a support network for individuals who are coming off anti-depressants. My story might be a little different. 6 years ago I was put on Fluoxetine for the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Previously, I tried all the various medications, augmentations and different classes with little success. So, my doctor and I decided to try fluoxetine along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. While the CBT worked, I found fluoxetine to have little or no effect at all when taking 20mg. My doctor upped the dose to 40mg and I still didn't feel much of a different. Regardless, I was going through a stressful time in my life (i left a career overseas and entered a Ph.D program) and decided to stick with the treatment. 6 years later, I left the program in good standing (ABD status) and I am proud of my accomplishments. Now, I am looking for employment and excited for new opportunities. However, my family physician recently left the practice and we got a new family physician. I told him my situation and my symptoms that never seemed to get resolved over the pat 20 years of various treatments. He decided to do a few diagnostic tests and confirmed that I likely have ADHD, as opposed to OCD, based on the symptoms before treatment and after treatment (ones that never got resolved). Thus, I started my journey of treating ADHD with my new doctor. I was told, however, that Fluoxetine interacts with many different medications and that I should discontinue by tapering. It's been two weeks since my last dose of fluoxetine, and some withdrawals are beginning to surface. However, I remain optimistic as I use CBT techniques, monitor my blood pressure twice a day, get regular exercise, and practice mindfulness breathing techniques to help deal with the fight or flight response that may be temporarily more frequent. I also have regular appointments with my family physician to check in and see how I am doing. I say this is a unique scenario because I am now taking ADHD medications which I suspect are likely helping to an extent with the withdrawals. I am not advocating for the use of any of these meds but I wanted to bring them up as they worked for me almost instantly, which was a real eye-opener. However, the problem is that i need to distinguish between symptoms that are caused by one new medication and the symptoms caused by discontinuing fluoxetine. I'd say today I am starting to feel the fluoxetine withdrawal as i've gone through SSRI withdrawals before and some of the symptoms are similar (my brain feels like it's floating). I am here for support regarding fluoxetine discontinuation and look forward to reading posts and interacting with others. Over the past twenty years, I've discontinued many different SSRIs/SNRIs, so I have a lot of experience - mind you, we are all different and react differently. In addition, a couple of years ago my doctor and I decided to taper me off a benzodiazepine extremely slowly (over a course of 8 months). I'd say that was far more challenging for me than tappering off SSRI's. I am glad I am benzo free now! I believe in the neuroplasticity of the brain in that it has the ability to heal and achieve a new homeostasis. I am hoping discontinuing fluoxetine will continue to re-affirm my beliefs. Nice to meet everyone!

Hi everyone, I'm male. 22, here's my story. I was misdiagnozed with schizoaffective disorder and put on strong meds this January, namely Haldol injections. I've been treated for two weeks and then received a prolonged shot of Haldol consta. Ever since I haven't felt like myself and still experiencing lot's of side-effects (or main effects) of the medication. Physical: I've always been in a good athletic form, but now my muscle mass has decreased a big deal and what's left feels very weak. I can't work out effectively anymore since I always feel some sort of pain in my body, mostly the legs, and my arms start shaking a bit. I've gained lot's of fat in just one month and I can't drop it off. I constantly feel fatigued and tired, my legs feel weak and start aching whenever I walk or stand for any prolonged period of time. I've also become virtually impotent, I don't feel any desire and my morning erections are gone. My orgasms feel very weak, my testicles have shrunk a little bit and there is very small amount of semen whenever I manage to reach an orgasm. I also experience body zaps and twitches all the time, especially when something touches my body parts, I just twitch really hard, almost jump. Emotionally I feel very numb, it feels like there is a filter between me and the world, the light and sound feel harsh to me, I can't experience joy from anything, the most scary thing is I've lost all interest in my favourite music, it just doesn't sound pleasant anymore, I don't get the chills like I used to. I can't feel any motivation for anything, as I've said I'm extremely numb and low-key all the time. I'm very scared these things are permanent, the long-lasting shot was 2 months ago but I don't feel any improvement at all, I just want to smoke all the time although I've never been a smoker, and I don't even feel nicotine now, same goes for alcohol. I've been working out hard for the last two months, to next to no improvement, I just feel very tired and working out doesn't bring any positive emotions like it used to. I just feel frustrated because these side-effects persist and being almost impotent sucks badly. Every day I just push through the day waiting for sleep time to escape this terrible condition. I'm also afraid the drug might still be in my body since its long half-life (3 weeks, and I've heard it might take up to 5 half-lifes to clear out of the system). I would greatly appreciate any advice on my condition and information about recovery time, it feels almost unbearable for me, I feel like a 60-year-old man although I'm supposed to be in my prime condition at this age. Thanks!

Hello! I am a 23 year old female. I have been on 100mg of Zoloft for exactly 2 years now (literally, I'm coming up on my anniversary). A couple weeks ago my roommate bought us some "magic mushrooms" (psilocybin). I have felt insanely frustrated and stuck with my inability to be productive or creative - for years! - so I hoped it would help. I could blame the SSRIs on that but personally there are some other factors for me too. I knew that psilocybin will get blocked by SSRIs so I've had 2 different "trips" where I temporarily went cold turkey for a few days (first was 2 weeks ago it was 8 or 9 days cold turkey, this time around I am on day 5). I've always been very angry at psychiatry for putting me on so many pills from such a young age , but I kind of figured that it wasn't worth it for me to try and go off. The zoloft does help somewhat and honestly, I've researched it before, gone down rabbit-holes and the information I've found made me feel hopeless. It sort of seemed like you'd have chronic problems whether you were on the meds or off of them. I feel so stupid now but honestly, I went off because I kind of just wanted to have a fun psychedelic experience and party. After my first ill-advised "cold turkey" experience I actually felt really great. It wasn't perfect but I was kind of shocked by how nice it was to feel things again. I didn't mind crying easily or getting mild full-body jitters or night sweats. I planned on just toughing it out. My parents are fairly emotionally abusive and stress me out a lot. I hate being around them. On day 9 of withdrawals I was out in public with my mother and snapped at her because I was no longer totally numb to her presence. She was upset (rightfully, although I was kind of just trying to communicate that I wanted space from her and was too sensitized so came on strong) and I let slip that I'd gone off the Zoloft trying to explain myself. She freaked out and began threatening to put me in the psych ward, saying she was going to call my therapist and psychiatrist and tell them that I'm "going off the rails." To put her and my therapist at ease I just went right back to 100mg and was totally fine. My roommate and I had a big event planned (the one we had bought the drugs for in the first place) so last week I did a couple days cold turkey. I barely felt any difference until today. We went out yesterday and had a good time. Now, I just got to my office job this Monday morning and suddenly feel like my head is made of cotton balls and everything is making me want to cry. It hits me: Withdrawals. I wonder what I should do to be safer this time, and kind of am considering a taper process because even amidst withdrawal symptoms I realize that I've been a zombie and not even realized it. so I start going down Internet rabbit holes. I've spent 4 hours now reading forums about how dangerous what I've done is. Now I can't tell what's worse: Going back on the SSRIs or continuing cold turkey...... I am young, broke, I have no college degree, and no close friends with an abusive family. It would NOT be worth it for me to risk the kind of withdrawal that "blows your life up," the tiny amount of independence I've been able to get from my family is so delicate. I'm already constantly terrified of even having something like a physical injury because I would end up unemployed and living with my family again being tortured. I've spent years of my life being "the crazy one," I can't have another breakdown and wind up back under my mother and father's full control. Reading about "kindling" is in particular freaking me out a lot. I'm sitting at my desk absolutely freaking out about how to proceed safely. I am so so sorry if I have broken any of the forum rules but as I said my head is slightly full of cotton balls. I am a bit of a hypochondriac, I know I have made a mistake and I really feel like an idiot, I just want to know how to be safe as I proceed.

Hi I have been reading a lot of posts on here and I have a lot of similar symptoms and I’m very down and worried. I was prescribed 50mg setraline September 2022 for my anxiety and depression but only took 1 tablet as I had a panic attack and freaked out. I was then prescribed citalopram, I started taking in October 10mg for 2 weeks, then upped to 20mg for about 6 weeks but I felt dreadful on them, couldn’t really get out of bed and felt like a zombie so the doctor said to come off and said to just take 10mg for 2 days then stop. So my last dose was beginning of December 2022, unsure of exact dates but calling the gp for them. Didn’t feel great coming off them but pushed through as I’m used to feeling pretty dreadful with anxiety etc (I’m also autistic so I do get fatigued in daily life). I started to feel terrible at the beginning of February and have progressively got worse since, waking up every night having a panic attack, brain shivers, brain fog, numbness, skin feels hot, anxiety is pretty much constant, weakness in legs, short of breath, blurred vision, dizziness, tinnitus, vertigo type symptoms, horrendous health anxiety and constantly feeling like I’m going to die. Been to the gp a few times, blood tests, ecgs, infection tests and all normal, been to a+e as I was having seizure type symptoms and felt terrible but just being told I’m fine and it’s just down to anxiety & depression. I have had the most stressful period of my life the last year with family bereavements & illnesses, relationships ending, moving to the other end of the country, being out of work etc. I just don’t feel right at all and don’t see how I could feel this terrible just due to anxiety and depression and I’m worried this has been caused by antidepressants. Sorry for the essay and thanks for reading.

My first experience with these drugs was back in 2021 with my first psychiatrist. I was put on topiramate and Brintellix. No problem getting off of them when i felt like i needed to. He let me speak for a good hour or more. Spoke to a neurologist in late 2022 because i developed brain heating in response to frustration. He didn't even let me speak at times. Haldol + Neuleptil seemed to work at first but then noticed they were just putting me to sleep. Not the cure i needed. Had 4 days of akathesia after being suggested to drink heavy alcohol while the drug was still circulating ( I thought it didn't because the last cycle before the occurrence i have took the day before ). Went to another psychiatrist, and after a " Careful check " of 5 minutes i was told i'm depressed and i should take Cipralex 20 mg ( 10 drops at first upping the dose by 2 till i reach 20 ), Depakin 250 mg ( 2 envelopes ) and 1 Quetiapine 100 mg for the night. The reasoning was that supposedly Cipralex would make me feel euphoric and Depakin and Quetiapine would have me stabilized. He told me that this stuff doesn't have side effects and it's " Light ". After the first week i felt my depression worsened to a point i never had reached before. Plus i had eye pain, blurred vision, diarrhea, cognitive malfunctions, couldn't think and speak properly, heavy depersonalisation and derealization, feeling like i had a flu, gained weight, ate more, and problems with erections/orgasms. Psychiatrist told me it was my depression coming back. I asked him if those things are supposed to make me feel better why would that be the case and why have i never felt this way prior to the " Medication ". I was left on read. Looked up on internet and started reading about the millions of horror stories related to antidepressants and such. My friend had my same exact symptoms, including the eye pain that was confirmed by my eye doctor to be brought in by the antidepressant ( He asked me if I'm taking them even before i could say anything ). In a week i knew more than he does ( Implying he doesn't know what he's doing, which i heavily doubt ). Since i intuitively knew i was poisoning my body, even before i searched on Google, i let go of his " Trust me "s and tapered off everything in 1 week: Cipralex from 20 drops to 10 for 2 days, then 5 for 2 other days, As for Depakin took 1 envelope in the last 3 days of that week and cut quetiapine completely in the other half of the week. I was told to take Cipralex at 2pm, Depakin at 8pm and Quetiapine at 10pm. In total, i took 3 weeks and a half of everything, including taper, more or less. The first week was more or less fine. However, the withdrawal symptoms started to kick in after then. Astonishingly high levels of depression, nightmares in which i would feel extremely depressed ( Didn't even know something like that could happen, aswell as such levels of depression ), stopped sleeping, would have 5 minutes of half a sleep and wake up panicky, and quickly developed into high anxiety/arousal. Can't feel emotions like i did, hardly can laugh and everything, i'm more uninhibited because i'm searching for those chemicals i lost and can't find them, and when i try and remember something or something really emotional hits me i can barely cry and the rest of the feeling mutates into yet another panicky feeling. I just know this is farmacological as much as i knew akathesia was. I'm starting to develop some tremors, too. Several important occasions were ruined for me because i was either too ill to go or i would get almost a panic attack because i wanted to go home, where i had no rest anyway. I'm smoking 10 to 15 cigs a day just to try and feel something/calm the anxiety with not so good results, and i was never a heavy smoker. I went there for my akathesia and he told me if i didn't take my new cure i would still have akathesia, which i strongly doubt. I feel like akathesia is next door again now, really, because i stared pacing again, not at that level, for now. I spoke with the psychiatrist again and i told him all about this. He said it's all about me and what i had prior to the medication, didn't really make sense through the whole thing and could hardly hear what he was hastily saying, didn't seem to know what ssri means and he told me that " SSRIs boost serotonin ", which is not true, even implying depression has anything to do with serotonin and it's about a chemical imbalance which actually seems like these things gave me. I basically told him he should work on his ego and that he doesn't know anything about what he prescribes and he's comparable to an angel of death. He told me there is no such thing as withdrawal, you can't get hooked on antidepressants, avoided the " Why am i getting worse if that's my depression " question. He admitted to have given me a horse dosage/cure. He says this stuff doesn't change anything in the brain even tho the meaning of ssri literally points to the opposite direction of that claim. I also asked him if they don't change anything what's the point of taking them in the long run. Again, no answer. He said i'm going against " Science " ( More like a cult ). I also have him recorded. Max i could do was review him 1 star and possibly sue him. Anyway, i didn't tell him i already tapered off, and he gave me a 2 week taper, obviously. All of this got so bad i got suicidal thoughts and i had to take quetiapine again, and that's all i take, after trying xan for 2 days and it was doing nothing except giving me itches, had no trouble stopping it fortunately. Still feeling bad and nothing like before the cycle. Still can hardly concentrate and everything. Everything still overwhelms me sensory wise but i have little to no emotions. Got a little bit of cognition back again. I developed hard tinnitus. I had a dream in which i felt the dissociation it gives me. I'm taking it one before bed and one or two throughout the day, split. Its sleeping effects are fading and i'm having windows and waves. I'm feeling new bad sensations everyday but quetiapine keeps me from getting too low, for now. It seems like my body is asking for more except when in windows, in which i feel empty but a bit more chill. What do i do ? What's happening ? Is it the deadly cocktail that was given to me and i tapered off too quickly ? What am i withdrawing from ? Is it the haldol + neuleptil even ? Should i go back to antidepressants ? I have no intention to take any other neurotoxin whatsoever. Only taking quetiapine makes everything seem flat but i don't wanna take antidepressants that make me more depressed again.

Hi, this is my first post. I just joined. I don't know what to do about my situation. I started 10 years ago with Cymbalta at 30mg, but did not take it consistently until 2018 at 60mg. In 2018, I also started 15mg of Buspirone/Buspar and went up to 30 mg in 2019. I never heard about withdrawal systems so I just tapered off Buspirone on my own while I was on Cymbalta. I was fine at that time. Then I told my Psych PA last year summer/fall while on Cymbalta and no Buspirone that I wanted to get off Cymbalta. She told me to do it in 6 weeks, 60-40-20-0. So I did. And it's been 3 months and I'm going through hell. So I asked to be put back on Buspirone. It's been 3 weeks and I can't find the right timing and dosage for the Buspirone to work. I'm nervous, anxious, restless, can't sleep. I don't know what to do. I'm really hoping the Buspirone will help because I don't want to go back on Cymbalta. I just don't know what to do.

Hello, My English is not that good but I will try my best. I’ve been taking Escitalopram for over a month now after a very hard benzo and Pregabalin withdrawal. It seems like now my anxiety is getting better and I no longer have derealization. My doctor put me on 10mg and after 3 weeks he upped to 20mg. The first symptoms when I started Escitalopram (nausea and increased anxiety) eventually subsided. The only thing that I still experience is little depression, very low energy and sleepiness. I don’t know if this will subside too because I’m 23 years old and currently studying in Russia. I really miss my energy and motivation. Thank you very much for any information. I am very happy with this website.

So encouraged to find this site about experiences of withdrawal from antidepressants, because I am feeling so alone in my struggle to be drug-free right now. It is a lot of pain! I abruptly stopped long-term antidepressant pharmacotherapy when I read that new emerging symptoms I was having while on the meds, could actually be induced by dangerous drug-drug interactions of the medications I had been prescribed by my psychiatrist - and taking regularly. I had become more and more active over the summer, and it got to the point where I was getting up at 3AM to start work, working till 8 or 10PM, working on weekends, excited all the time about new projects, talking a mile a minute, and having unusually great success at all my activities, feeling euphoria a lot of the time - but it was just abnormal levels of activity and I got concerned, and looked it up. I was thinking of writing a book about my new state of mind, "Unbearable Happiness", then Googled about what other people with this experience were writing, and found many, many links to people writing about their psychological disorder of mania - and not in a good way, but from bipolar. I looked up my meds on drug-drug interaction sites, and found mania is a potential drug-drug interaction of the meds I was taking, and became distressed. What if I was developing mania from the drugs, after having depression for most of my life? What if I started doing dangerous risky manic things? So now I am in withdrawal at about 4 weeks after stopping all of them completely, all at once. I'm not feeling depressed, nor manic, but am feeling sick as hell physically. I live along with a house bunny and parakeets, as my daughters are grown and have moved on. I had been prescribed and taking a high dose of 2 different kinds of antidepressants, venlafaxine at 300 mg/day an SNRI, plus generic prozac at 80 mg/day an SSRI, along with risperidone at 2.5 mg/day for about 5 years, all intended to treat a psychiatrist's diagnosis of depression, and later, schizoaffective disorder. When I read that these medications are clinically contraindicated - not to be taken together - because of serious drug-drug interactions, and that the doses I had been taking were very high, I stopped taking them. That was about a month ago. Since then, I get waves of sleepyness coming over me a lot. Every hour or so when I try to work at something, and often I am just sleepy and napping all day long, and have trouble concentrating on things I would like to do, in addition to unbelievable constant pain. It eases up when I take advil and Benedryl, but how much of that can you take? Not a lot. I am home from work (I'm a research scientist) and most of the time unable to do my normal things like cook and clean and exercise because of the pain and fatigue. I have sneezing and coughing and GI upset all the time, but no fever or anything like that. Pulling myself together to go out into public is a real effort. I have pain all over my body - electrical pricks all over the surface of my skin, deep pains in my muscles, aches in my joints, terrible headaches, and the only relief comes from going to sleep, and I am sleeping a lot. But then I have the worst nightmares of my life, with horrible things happening to all my prior loved ones and pets, and wake up terribly disturbed. I think my nerve cells are all in disarray. I used to meditate and do yoga but right now, I can't seem to do them at all. What has been helpful to you, if you have been going through antidepressant medication withdrawal? How long does it last? With gratitude, Bunnymom

Hi, I am 29 y.o. guy with a total history of about 6 yrs medication on and off. I started taking Sertraline and had two attemps to quit which was diagnosed as relapses. I had no idea about a thing called withdrawals until the 2nd week of my last reinstatement which was in a high dose excceded to 100 after 25 then 50 then 75 within some days. Which I believe resulted in bad reactions and kindling as my insomnia got worse, I had back pain, induced anxiety and many other issues. The sleep problem never went away even during the third use. Every two times, I reinstated I had a bad pain in back of my head left side down to my neck for some reason as well. I was desperately looking for help to taper down and as I recently moved to Finland I was switching between doctors. One of them told me that theh don't say people about withdrawals and since I am sensitive let's taper in 12 weeks which I did. But I was feeling ok just sleeping problems while quitting, a few weeks later I became like a zombie which lasted till now more or less. I developed new symptoms and mostly having severe cognitive issues and problem with learning. I said to myself this will pass and months has gone by. But I'm a PhD student here and I live alone. I can't do my work and I'm worried sick. Sorry if my English is not good, I hope you got my point. I'm going on a part time sick leave for 3 months but I think this would last long. Since it's been a few months since I came off I'm not sure if it's a good idea to reinstate or not. I have a red mark in my belly and also rash and eczema in my lower lip area since last year on and off almost every which might indicate an adverse reaction of drug or withdrawal symptom. I have a persistent sleeping issue which didn't subside much during third round of medication, the only difference was I could sleep for a few hrs. I used to take my pill in laste evenings but third I was taking it in the morning because of sleeping issue, taht was the only change I made. I was feeling weird thing happeing in my head like releasing some substances for sometime while going on them last time which was weird. All of these makes me worried because I don't want to loose my job and I'm worried if I don't try reinstatement if that could relieve some symptoms, new symptoms may arrive. I never quit cold turkey but always in a months but linearly and not properly. Last time, I guess I came off even faster than two other times. Currently, I have severe insomnia, vision problems, hypersensitivity to sound, hot flushing, burning sensations, nerve pains, wired sensations not painful though on my head (especially that part that was in pain while reinstating each time), feeling of my skull is expanding or maybe its some inflammation, genital numbness, eczema, anxiety, feeling slowminded and kinda retarded, awful memory, unable to write and think clearly, bloated bowl and sometimes anxiety and feeling stressed out. They come and go. I used to have bad nightmares too. What do you suggest? I am worried that my situation doesn't subside before I have a chance to pass my midterm review and later complete my phd. I need to be able to settle down otherwise everything would go for worst and I would end up crashing and coming back to my home country which is not a perfect place to live. Does every reinstatement certainly means expriencing more severe withdrawals while tapering or it depends on how one tapers? I am worried that I'm too hypersensitive or damaged because of the last round of medication that I would exprience more horror if I don't do things wisely whether it's by doing nothing or small reinstatement. Thank you.

Hello everyone and can I start by saying how glad I am that I found thus site. I've done nothing except read as much as I can about PAWS since it hit me nearly 2 weeks ago and on sheer popularity alone this site seems to be the one I've settled on. My story is one that started in Mt Kate teens when as a result of alcohol abuse I began to develop anxiety symptoms which I then proceeded to compound with a never ending cycle ogself medication with more alcohol and sometimes illicit drugs. Anyway to cut a long story short after 10-15 years of this I managed to defeat the worst of the alcohol binging and then illegal drug use - the problem was though it had left me with terrible OCD ( intrusive thoughts) which made it very hard to socialise normally. So as with many recovering substance abusers I had the usual need for relaxation that nearly everyone beefs when they're socialising hence the popularity if alcohol but with the damage it had done to my nervous system on top of that. Hence my trip to my GP to see if there was anything he could do to help with the residual OCD, anxiety and looking back mild depression. Oh big mistake as I was prescribed my first SSRI Sertaline which in a mild way did help until its efficacy stopped after a year or so from that I changed to citalopram then escitalopram and mirtazipine the latter actually making me feel worse. Finally I was put on fluoxetine which I had always hoped to be put on having read all the glowing reports of it revolutionising peoples' lives. So I remained on this for around 4 years (40mg) till it hit me that I didn't want to remain on any psychotropic drug for the rest of my life, the realisation that it undoubtedly damaged the taker physically and the clincher that I was tired of having unpleasant dreams every night since I had gone on it which themselves didn't exactly set me up cheerfully for the coming day . Anyway back in September this year I spoke to my GP and stated I wanted to come off it he advised a quick taper a month at 20mg and then stop. I'm even sketchy on the exact dates etc as I didn't think for a moment I'd end up in the living nightmare whrte I now find myself marooned. Anyway things seemed to be progressing well for the first around 4-6 weeks after I took my last pill. Then around 12 days ago I started to feel.physically under the weather which within a day had developed into what I thought was the norovirus stomach bug which meant I had to leave work soon after arriving thar day. Anyway what I thought was the virus gradually developed a mental component which then became all consuming. I'm not even sure now if the gastric problems were not just early physical symptoms of the withdrawal. Living by myself and being too weak to go out the psychological symptoms could start to rage unabated. The most severe depression I'd ever experienced- a feeling if utter hopelessness and devestation - anxiety so intense I could sort of feeling it tangibly in my veins, weird (a bit like a pulse of blood in my head rather than 'zaps'), random pains in my legs, terrible guilt for how I felt I had treated my parents (my wonderful mother and late father did not feel I treated them badly I know but all my years mired in the substance abuse I condemn myself for doing thatvwhen I could have made them far prouder of me). On top of all these symptoms my mother is now 89 and starting to become unwell and living 280 miles away I am trying to help get the care she needs .Finally I work as a locum worker so only get paid when I'm in work so can have no time off to deal with this or I will lose everythihg) I have just had a planned week off but this has obviously been taken by the extreme mental distress I'm experiencing with the PAWS so I'm filled with utter dread at the thought of returning to work tomorrow to a job as a medical professional where I have to interact and assist other people all day. Currently I'm just surviving thus excruciating mental torment from hour to hour Since I returned from my mother's 2 days ago I have made myself start an hours work on my exercise bike immediately on rising- I started yesterday and am about to resume in a few minutes. Also intend to force myself to go out with a local walking group at the weekend akthough that in itself may be terrifying if I suddenly have a panic attack in the middle if the countryside with people I don't know. Aside from the above described symptoms the most trivial things are irritating me especially certain sounds and can themself send me hurtling further into the abyss - yes I know that sounds ridiculous but they seem to trigger off intrusive thoughts which I then ruminate on. I have not had any form of alcoholic drink for 4 years next month - there was a long period when I had stopped the binging but believed I could drink sensibly which I now realise was a false belief in my case becsuse about 10 times in 20 years I fell off the wagon quite spectacularly and at my age that was 10 years roo much. The reason I mention this is that I went as far as buying 2 bottles of beer last night to try to give myself sone relief from this torture but I'm happy to say I left them in my car. They will be disposed of down the sink later! I feeling utterly bereft abd hopeless typing this and reading up on the possible months and years of distress ahead I must admit fleeting suicidal ideation has crossed my mind. But I would never do this to my mum and anyway it is counter to my Christian belief but I admit such strange thoughts as almost wanting to be taken seriously physically ill so I get some kind of care have appeared. I have no real family aside from my mother and because I moved 200 away from my hometown 25 years ago only a couple of friends up here abd even they live 40 miles away so it does feel a very lonely fight. I hope I haven't outstay my welcome with this introduction but felt all was necessary to explain the full situation I'm in and how I got here. I also hope that with 'only' around 2 weeks of PAWS under my belt that you do not think it too early to be typing on here. However the symptoms are clearly withdrawal syndrome and I have never felt a fraction of this torment I an in in a life that overall has not been easy. So thanks for providing this service and at least it shows I am far from alone in this awful experience. Finally restarting an AD is just not an option the only meds I would consider is prn benzos if so directed which a British doctor will thankfully never give you more than about 5 x 2.5mg a month maximum. But really I hope that this is it for me with any meds which cross the blood brain barrier for life. And aside from natural remedies I can finally clean my brain of all the pollutants which we can agree is what they all really are.

I have been on antidepressants on and off since I was 16 years old. I am now 46. I was on Lexapro, 20 mg recently. Started in December 2016 after dealing with postpartum depression with my youngest. I recently decided to wean off, under care of a psychiatrist. He told me to decrease my dosage to 10 MG for a week and then take 10 MG every other day the second week and then quit all together. The last pill I took was on February 14, 2023. I felt my withdrawal was WAY too fast. It was HELL. I experienced all of the physical symptoms - flu like, brain zaps, etc. but have been feeling the emotional symptoms for quite some time. I am VERY irritable and quick to anger and feeling intense emotions. I am not sure if this is still withdrawal symptoms or if I am relapsing. I have family members close to me that always have been very irritable so it just may be my disposition and I may need medication to help with this. I decided to stop taking my meds cause I wanted to see how I felt and what was my actual baseline at this point in my life. I am struggling. I don't know if I should keep going without my medicine or start it back up.

After three years of sobriety from alcohol, I had a two day relapse of moderate/minimal drinking. This may have started my minor “kindled” withdrawal, that slowly deteriorated my sleep. A month later I was at the hospital because I hadn’t slept in days, was extremely anxious, and had a tremor that I wanted to check out. I ended up being given Zyprexa/Olanzapine 5mg and sent home to eventually see my psychiatrist. Days later my psychiatrist saw me and I went down to 2.5mg after being on 5 for 3 days. Took 2.5mg for 2 weeks, 1.75 for one, then stopped. Two weeks later took 2.5mg again after insomnia for 1.5 weeks slowly dosing down again to 1.75, then stopped. At the same time I started taking Mirtazapine, which helped for sleep and got me “off” olanzapine. A month later I’m struggling with sleep still, 4-5 hours a night, extremely fragmented. Not sure if this is the Zyprexa/Olanzapine WD, or Mirtazapine causing this. I DO NOT want to take Olanzapine again, really no matter what, wondering how I should go about my Mirtazapine treatment? I’m still relatively new to these drugs, been on Mirtazapine for 7 weeks, however I know if I come off this drug I won’t be able to sleep, and risk having an episode that leads me to ER and back on Olanzapine. Not sure what to do… Olanzapine: 5mg 3 days 2.5mg 2 weeks, two week break, 1 weeks 2.5, 1 week 1.75mg. mirtazapine: 22.5 mg current. started m: 7.5mg for 2 weeks, 15mg 2 weeks, 22.5mg 3 weeks.

Hello! I am wondering whether it would be recommended for me to reinstate at a low dose or to wait it out given my withdrawal symptoms and timeline, detailed below. I started Zoloft 25mg in July 2021 and tapered up to 100mg over about 6 months. I started tapering off in Feb of this year from 100mg to 75mg to 50mg over 1-2 weeks at each dose without any really noticeable side effects at the time. However, I got a migraine and decided to stay on 50mg for a few weeks. Last week I went down to 25mg for a week, then every other day for a few days. I stopped this past Saturday, 3/25/23, and I have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms including, mild/moderate dizziness (able to walk/function but feeling disoriented) mild ringing in ears, and brain fog. I initially didn’t realize the symptoms were from stopping the med because I have other health issues and I wasn’t informed about those potential side effects. I thought it was fine given that I wasn’t having any mood/anxiety symptoms. I have already been taking magnesium and fish oil, as well as other supplements for my autoimmune condition. Yesterday was definitely the worst (which is what lead me figure out it was withdrawal sx) and I’m feeling a bit better today but unsure how things will continue. Given this information, does it seem wise to reinstate at a low dose (if so, what dose makes sense?) and do a slower taper, or wait it out and just focus on taking care of myself? Any other suggestions of things to do or avoid are also welcomed. Thank you!

Hi SA-members, One of the biggest and certainly the most serious German broadcaster, ARD, has just released a new and very interesting documentary about the use of and withdrawal from antidepressants. It features heavy hitters such as Prof. Tom Bschor (he is held in very high regard among GP's and psychiatrists in the German speaking world). Michael P. Hengartner is also participating. The documentary is called 'Tabletten gegen Depressionen – helfen Antidepressiva?' [Pills to fight depression - do antidepressants help?]. It is very critical of the current use of ADs. It will cause quite a stir I believe. The video is available to watch on Youtube with auto generated subtitles. Youtube: Tablets against depression - do antidepressants help? - ARD 12.09.2022 You can click on the CC for closed captions. Click the cog and click on Subtitles and then choose auto translation and then select the language. This is the original site: Watch it here: https://www.daserste.de/information/reportage-dokumentation/dokus/videos/tabletten-gegen-depressionen-helfen-antidepressiva-video100.html

Hello. Today is the first day that my psychiatrist has me starting on sertraline 12.5mg. We are still trying to treat anxiety and I had asked about doing an incredibly small dose of lexapro for reinstatement but he suggested we try out zoloft instead. So far I’m noticing the withdrawals are not as bad as they were earlier in the day. My physical side effects of the sertraline are kinda throwing me off though. I know no one here is a doctor, but does anyone think starting a different medication was a devastatingly bad decision? I’m just worried and need something to calm my thoughts.

Hi my name is Laura. I was on effexor for 4 to 5 months (112.5 highest dose) and tapered off with dropping 37.5mg first for a few wks and then started dropping 12.5mg every 2 to 3 wks. I got down to 50mg and was also taking trintellix that seemed to help with some of the withdrawal symptoms I was getting. As the dose lowered I stayed on it before tapering again lower so it would be closer to 4 wks before dropping again. I finally took my last dose on January 29th. I felt nervous but happy that I would finally be free from effexor. I was feeling good for about 3 wks when it all went down hill. Zaps started to happen as well as low mood and intrusive thoughts. It's now been 7 wks since my last dose and wanted to know when will this all get better. It does come in waves of good moments and awful moments.

Its been almost a month since i stopped meds. I experienced light headedness and nausea today for no reason that could be apparent. Is it possible that this could be the beginning of my withdrawal symptoms?

Hi, I've been on SSRI's now for about 20 years except for a few years in the middle. First it was Prozac with BuSpar, and over the last 10 years Paxil with Klonopin. I'm in search of who I am off of these meds, and I'm sick of the side-effects (mainly sexual side effects of Paxil for me). I successfully tapered off of Klonopin over 1 year from 0.5 mg (finished that in May of '16), and I've been tapering off of Paxil for the last year and a half from 30 mg. to my current dose of 10 mg. This is my second deliberate attempt to get off of SSRI's. The first attempt was done very quickly in 2012 (over about a month) and it was a disastrous fall into extreme anxiety resulting in voluntary hospitalization for five nights in a locked unit. In 2014 I was switched from Paxil to a different drug altogether (Lamictal), and that was also a terrible event because the doctor had me go off of the Paxil too quickly, resulting in a quick descent into anxiety, then the worst soul-crushing depression I've ever experienced. I was out of work for 5 weeks. I'm happy to share more details later, but for now I'll focus on the here and now. So back to the current withdrawal attempt. I was down to 10 mg of Paxil in November, 2017, and I told my psychiatrist that I wanted to continue the slow taper. He prescribed liquid Paxil at the equivalent of 9 mg for 2 weeks, then 8 mg, but when I went to pick it up I was told it would be over $150. Yikes! The pharmacist recommended I look into having it compounded elsewhere to save money. After searching for a compounding facility, calling my doc and writing him a letter, I finally got the prescription for a compounded version of Paroxetine for $70 / month, plus $5 shipping. A couple weeks later it arrived, and I was very happy to continue my slow, controlled taper. That was around Dec. 22, 2017. That's when things went wrong. After a couple days I started feeling a bit cantankerous, fidgety, and my appetite increased. I had just re-started working out, and this adrenaline rush fueled my anger and appetite. You know that feeling when you've run out of fuel and you've got that hungry, angry feeling inside? I was feeling like this almost all the time. About five days after starting the compounded Paxil I had an incident at work where I lost my temper. I apologized and things smoothed over, but I'm pretty convinced that something wasn't right with the compounded medication. Maybe it was measured wrong; maybe the bitter cold affected it in shipping. I don't know, but I strongly doubt it was 9 mg. Paxil. So I went back to the 10 mg., and that's when I've been on for the last 5 nights. But my mind and body are both very much off-kilter. My anxiety's increased and the insatiable hunger continues. I have a high-metabolism which is even higher under this stress, so I can't seem to satiate my appetite. I'm hoping that after a few more days things will even out, and I plan on staying at 10 mg. for at least a couple weeks before I start a taper again. I've since picked up the prescription for the liquid Paxil; I decided that when I continue the taper, I want to make sure I'm very confident of the accuracy of the medication. I don't trust the compounded version now. Thanks for reading. Any encouragement would be much appreciated as I re-stabilize.

Hi all, I started prozac 20mg around June last year (2022). By November I decided to come off them as I didn't feel myself, I was getting irritated very often and angry very easily. Over the next month or so I experienced lots of "brain zaps" and aches and pains. The majority of these things have passed but what is really bothering me now...is COLD FEET! I'm getting obsessed over having bad circulation and keep constantly checking my nail bed on my toes with the nail blanch test. Which is OK and within normal ranges as long as the surrounding environment isn't too cold. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and is it a withdrawal symptom? And if so does it have a name? My feet seem to be cold during the day, they can be warmed up through blankets and exercise but it is driving me crazy. I also have very sweaty feet when it gets to night time. I was experiencing night sweats the last week or so but that seems to have calmed down. Now im just left with really cold, icey feet. Is this something anyone else has experienced? I'm really worrying. Thanks Pete.

Hello, I'm a 21 year old Canadian who was on Effexor for about 1.5 years, until I stupidly tapered off over the course of about a month, and have been SNRI free for about 7 months now. Here's the story on how I got it: After an extremely depressing moment in my life compounded with the COVID lockdowns, I started thinking there was something wrong with me, perhaps Anxiety, Depression or ADHD. I ended up getting prescribed Lexapro but was switched to two pills of Effexor a day after 1.5 months due to having no energy on Lexapro. Effexor made me feel very strange, it removed any anxiety I had but also made me not care about where I'm at in life, and stopped my ego from being in check. It felt like my anxiety was keeping my ego from being inflated, but now with the anxiety gone I was a different person with illusions of grandeur. I blew up 3 semesters of university, withdrawing from my courses two semesters in a row and in my third just taking fat 0s in all my classes that semester. I had a wakeup call then and decided to get off the pills no matter what. I tapered off the course of about 1-2 months, slowly reducing my dosage and then only taking one pill every time I felt ill, until I ran out of pills. I didn't really go through any withdrawals that people describe, but I still feel kind of odd and have been going through weird waves of depression. I went through a whole semester SNRI free and actually got good grades, so I'm happy my academic career is being repaired, but I still kind of feel stunted. There are many things I want to do but I have no motivation to actually get anything done. I also feel like I am exhausted much more easily now and have been sleeping a lot. I'm not really sure if this is a withdrawal or just something because of my daily living habits, but I do feel like I've changed a lot since taking antidepressants for the first time, and then getting off of them. For anyone who has read this far, thank you. It seems many of you were on antidepressants longer than me, and had worse withdrawals. I'm thankful it has gone different for me, but I really appreciate you reading this and would love to hear your insight on what you think. Thank you

Hi All, I am struggling quite a bit with Mirtazapine withdrawal and would greatly appreciate any advice on next steps. My situation is somewhat unique as I also have circadian rhythm issues which I manage with Melatonin & a strict sleep schedule. I believe the interaction with these circadian issues and my withdrawal is compounding my issues which I will explain later in the post. For some background though, I have been on Mirtazapine 45mg for 1.5 years for anxiety & a bout of insomnia. I attempted to taper off the drug last year whereby I dropped from 45mg to 0mg over the course of about 4.5 months. Unfortunately this attempt failed once I hit 0mg as I started experiencing intense withdrawal symptoms which were not showing signs of improvement 5 weeks in. This only occurred on the final taper from 3.75mg to 0mg, I did experience withdrawal symptoms on prior tapers but these were manageable. I reinstated at a dose of 5.5mg - which I understand is higher than necessary but at the time I did not have this knowledge. Within the first night of taking 5.5mg, my withdrawal symptoms markedly improved and by the second night I was 100% back to normal. My plan following this attempt was to taper off the 5.5mg much slower. However, during my Christmas holidays from work, I generally give myself a break from melatonin and my strict sleep schedule and let my body sleep when it wants for a while. I have done this previously when I was on 45mg Mirtazapine and faced no issues. However, in the most recent Christmas break (Dec 2022) I started experiencing issues whereby changing the timing of the Mirtazapine was causing my sleep to become quite erratic and I also started having quite short sleep duration. I know Mirtazapine acts differently in lower doses and can be more sedating, but I was not expecting such severe impacts so I was quite confused. My doctor also did not know what was going on and the advice I was given was to stop Mirtazapine completely, which I did. As expected, I started experiencing the withdrawal insomnia again. It was at its worst at day 7 after discontinuing but surprisingly by day 10 it started to improve slightly. At this time I was still on holidays from work so I was allowing my body to sleep whenever it wanted. However, I am now 3 weeks post discontinuation and will have to return to work so I have resumed taking melatonin and trying to stick to a sleep schedule 3 days ago. Unfortunately, doing this has caused my sleep to return back to day 7 levels. My gut feeling is that the melatonin is causing these withdrawal issues to become worse. I have experienced similar issues in the past when I take melatonin but do not keep a strict schedule. This is sort of the case now as due to the withdrawal effects, I am waking up in the middle of the night at random times and am unable to return to sleep. This is quite distressing for me as melatonin is very beneficial in managing my circadian issues which is also necessary for proper sleep but it seems I may not be able to continue taking it. It also makes me wonder if the reason I did not experience any improvements in insomnia during the first time I withdrew Mirtazapine is because I had continued taking Melatonin. At the time I did not recognise this could be the cause. As I see, it I have 3 options now, all of which I do have some concerns with: Reinstate Mirtazapine. This did work during my first withdrawal attempt so perhaps will work again. I could try and reinstate at a lower dose this time e.g. 1.8mg or alternatively for the first night I can take a higher dose e.g. 4.5mg to verify that this will work (the 5.5mg dose showed instant improvement within the first night during my first withdrawal attempt) and then subsequently lower the dose. My concerns with this are: My current situation is a bit different to my first withdrawal attempt as I have not had a consistent sleep schedule for the past few weeks. This makes it difficult to know when to time the Mirtazapine and given changes Mirtazapine timing was causing me issues during my Christmas break, I am afraid this will happen again. I guess if this does happen I can always stop the Mirtazapine, but I am afraid this will perpetuate my symptoms and also invalidate reinstatement as a future option. I am afraid if my dose is too low or something is off with the Mirtazapine timing, that I may only receive partial resolution of withdrawal symptoms but at the cost of my body once again becoming reliant on Mirtazapine. This would undo all the progress I have currently made in withdrawing and extend the duration of my withdrawal symptoms. I am still a bit confused as to why my withdrawal symptoms only became so severe after dropping from 3.75mg to 0mg, but not during any of my tapers from 45mg to 3.75mg. Given this is not clear and I do not know what will happen as I slowly taper off again at these lower doses, I am a bit hesitant to get back on the drug. Stop Melatonin and attempt to stick to a sleep schedule without it. I have been able to do this in the past but I get around 1.5-2 hours less sleep per night which might be difficult considering I am already sleep deprived. I am also concerned it may be more difficult to stick to a schedule in general as my sleep seems to be different in this withdrawal period. Continue with just Melatonin for a few more days to observe changes. I am afraid of missing my reinstatement window if I do this. I would really appreciate any advice on what option would be my best choice, or if there are other options I may have missed. I have to return to work tomorrow and I am unsure whether I will be able to function adequately. I am also quite anxious around having permanently lost my ability to sleep properly or permanently lost my ability to use melatonin to manage my circadian rhythm which would be devastating. I am hoping these are just irrational thoughts and that my sleep will return to how it was before Mirtazapine, but at the moment it feels like I will never be able to get off this drug. Thanks in advance for your time and any input you may have!