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Hi all. Since my history with SSRIs is relatively brief (3 years), I felt that tapering would be a piece of cake for me. I started on citalopram 20mg for severe depression in 2019. About a year and a half later I switched to fluoxetine 20mg. In early 2021 I started high dose Vitamin D3 (read—REAL high, no 2000iu child’s play) which did wonders for my mood. It actually did what I expected SSRIs to do. I wanted to wean off almost as soon as I started SSRIs but was terrified to until this April. I weaned over 60 days and boy, oh boy, withdrawal hit me hard. I’m talking insomnia, visual hallucinations, dizziness/balance/coordination issues, confusion and problems focusing, shock and zap sensations in my body and brain, and many others more intermittently. Mostly CNS stuff but if it’s not too much information I had severe diarrhea multiple times every day during the entire tapering process and for weeks afterward. I’m still facing the CNS symptoms daily. All of this caught me off guard and much of what I could find online gave me no validating information that what I was feeling can be normal. After reading many different threads here I feel like I’m not crazy, which is such a relief after feeling isolated from everyone for months. I am curious to ask the group—something odd that I’ve been experiencing in the last few days is paranoia over things that I know are totally outlandish—have any of you experienced paranoia as one of your symptoms? Im also wondering how long your withdrawal symptoms lasted (bonus points if you were on 20mg fluoxetine), months? Years? Just trying to feel out what I’m up against. Good to be here. Callie

Hello Everyone. I was on 20mg nortriptyline for 6 weeks. I tapered off the drug over a 1 week period due to it's side effects (increased heart rate, muscle spasms and hair loss). It's been 2 weeks since I stopped taking the nortriptyline and I am still having a very rough time dealing with withdrawal symptoms. I constantly have this constant rocking motion that I feel in my head as though I'm on boat that's bobbing up and down, left and right, forward and backwards. Although this seems similar to vertigo, things around me in the environment are not spinning. I just feel like my mind and head is always rocking ever so slightly with the beating of my heart. I should note that I had and am still dealing with constant rapid heartbeats throughout the day since I stopped taking the drug. This constant rocking motion in my head makes me feel dizzy and nauseated. And my head feels like a balloon all the time. Has anyone here experienced movement problems during nortriptyline withdrawal? If so, does it go away and how long does it take for it to go away? It's very bothersome. It greatly hinders my concentration and focus. I'd like to hear from anyone who's had this experience. Thanks.

Hi all, I've been off antidepressants for about three months now after 14 months on them. See end of post for full tapering schedule (if you can call it that). Note that I didn't find this resource/community until today, so unfortunately the only guidance I had on tapering was my general practitioner, which didn't work out too well... In the first 1.5 months, I experienced nausea and intrusive thoughts as well as increased general irritability. Then, those symptoms went away but I started getting new symptoms. Intermittent numbness and cold in feet which started spreading to my calves and hands/forearms. Body pain all over when waking up in the morning. One severe panic attack (first ever in my life). General feelings of panic (again, first ever despite a lifetime of anxiety). I've tracked these symptoms and am finding that the strength of these symptoms cycles; every 2-4 days, there is a strong (5x) increase in these symptoms, to the point that it can become debilitating. Have seen the doctor 3 times on this and they've run blood tests, but didn't find any other underlying causes, so he attributes it to me being too sensitive, dismissing antidepressant discontinuation given that I've been off them for more than 1 month and "symptoms don't last that long". So, after lots of frustration there, I saw an osteopath for some alternative diagnostics, and she was able to reduce some of the symptoms through cranial osteopathy. Will continue this to see if it provides lasting relief. I also did some searching on my own, and that's what brought me here. Looking forward to reading around on the forum and engaging. If anyone has any recommendations based on these issues, let me know. Thanks! Sertraline: 0mg->30mg (immediate) Held 30mg for about a month Experienced significant side effects and doctor recommended switch to citalopram 30mg->0mg (immediate; -100%) Citalopram: 0mg->10mg (held for 1 month) 10mg->20mg (+100%; held 3 months) 20mg->30mg (+50%; held 2 months) Experienced side effects so doctor recommended drop to 20mg 30mg->20mg (-33%; held 3 months) Started getting better so doctor recommended drop to 15mg 20mg->15mg (-25%; held 2.25 months) 15mg->12.5mg (-17%; held 4 days) 12.5mg->12mg (-4%; held 13 days) 12mg->11.5mg (-4%; held 1 day) 11.5mg->10mg(-13%; held 2 days) 10mg->9mg(-10%; held 2 days) 9mg->8.5mg(-6%; held 2 days) 8.5mg->8mg(-6%; held 1 day) 8mg->7.5mg(-6%; held 2 days) 7.5mg->7mg(-7%; held 2 days) Started experiencing more severe side effects so went up again 7mg->8.5mg(+21%; held 6 days) Feeling okay so started tapering again 8.5mg->7.5mg(-12%; held 5 days) Met with doctor and he told me that if I'm already under 10mg, may as well just drop to zero because I'm "prolonging the discontinuation symptoms by tapering".......... 7.5mg->0mg(-100%)

Hi, Im 52 years old & from the U.K. I’ve been taking Paxil/Paroxetine for 20 years and in Feb 2022 I begin reducing my intake as I need to regain control of my weight which is so bad it’s affecting my health. Im hoping that coming off of Paxil will make it easier to lose weight. Ive been reducing by 5mg every 6 weeks but I’ve had (and still have) some awful physical and mental withdrawal symptoms that the medical professionals I deal with seem to find hard to believe. Im very unsupported and currently I feel really unwell and tempted to start taking 30mg daily again. This forum has been recommended by someone in a Facebook group.

HI, here santking, 34y "manic" diagnosed episode in 2004. treated w lithium, benzos and prozac. 1000 mg of depakote+benzos+prozac jun-ago 2004. ago-dec 750. + prozac Dec: just 500 depakote (treatment produced strong acne. treated with roaccutan between nov 2004 to oct 2006) 2005: depakote 500 (some months w 750) + prozac and benzos- (lorazepam) dec 2005 - aug 2007: depakote 500 mg aug 2007 - 2009 alternated depakote 500 mg to 250 mg jan 2010 i started with a new psychiatrist: depakote 500 mg until sep 2012 sep 2012 started depakote + antidepressants: depakote 500 + etifoxina / paroxetine and propanodol (?) (until jun 2013) jun 2013: depakote 500mg with paroxetine and propanodol. oct 2013: change paroxetine for trazadone. until Jan 2014. jan 2014: depakote 500mg and leave trazadone jan 2014-oct 2015: depakote 500 mg oct 2015: psychiatrist introduces sertraline. suicidal attempt with sertraline overdose in jan 2016. psychiatrists increases depakote to 750 mg and introduces wellburtin. jan 2016 - dec 2017: 750mg depakote + wellburtin dec 2017 consulting another psychiatrist changed wellburtin to seroquel 25 mg dec 2017 . until jun 2018: 750mg depakote and seroquel 25 mg in jul 2018 I meet the Peter BReggin's books and SA forum and start the withdrawal process. this included consuting with psycotherapist and intense researching meeting content like Icarus project, mad in america, Rachel Aviv articles and Laura Delano's Withdrawal Project (a daily reference) ago 2018: start tapering: depakote 500 mg and seroquel in 12mg dosages (cutting to half) until nov. in dec 2018 I felt the withdrawl synthoms of seroquel leaving (insomnia, vertigo, suicidal thoughts, paranoia, anxiety, fear) Jan 2019: changed depakote dosage -tablets o sprinkles- (125 mg) taking 4 pills daily. May 2019: tried tapering without scale (reducing "half" of sprinkle aprox 437 mg) causing a week of insomnia and panic. returned with 500 mg in June. Aug 2019: started tapering with scale. sep 2019: 450 mg Oct 400 mg. Nov: 375 mg (3 pills daily) DUring November I have been taking 375 mg I have been feeling intense laziness, lack of motivation and fatigue. I tried changing diet: avoiding caffeine, alcohol, sugar, dairy and ultraprocessed foods. I had a week w insomnia and next week felt sleepness and lack of motivation (after Dec 1) RIght now I'm worried because I still feeling down and need increase energy due to personal compromises. I'm doubting if back to 400 mg or still reducing the dosage. THis based on how I'm feeling and listening the body sensations. I'm doing the tapering based on the 10% standard seeing in Breggin books, TWP and here. This is my history w psychiatry treatments and I would appreciate your help and recommendations for my case. If you need some explanations I will do it. Thank you.

First off I just want to say I don’t recommend to anyone to quit CT from any psychiatric medications. I did so out of sheer ignorance regarding these medications and to the amount of pain and suffering that it would cause by abruptly quitting them. Knowing what I have learned now I definitely would have tapered, and unfortunately for me being 8 1/2 months removed I don’t think reinstatement for a slow taper is a good idea. I quit lexapro CT about 8 1/2 months ago after being on it over a year and 3 months. (20 mg). I started on lexapro at 24 years old after suffering from consecutive panic attacks after coming back from a music festival where I took a very high dose of molly. At first it really helped with the anxiety and worked well for about 4 months but I eventually began feeling very numb and apathetic to everything, until eventually feeling like an absolute mindless zombie while taking it. I couldn’t critically think about anything anymore and could barely feel any emotions other than a deep smoldering anger that was welling up inside and causing a lot of problems with friends and family. I lost the ability to feel really connected with myself or with anyone around me anymore and I didn’t even know what was causing it until I stumbled upon this site searching for answers. I have had bouts with depression before taking lexapro but was always known to be very passionate, driven, and loved doing things with friends and other people so I felt like lexapro had to be what was causing me to feel so dead inside. My irrational logic was that I’d rather quit CT and feel anxious but still have my emotions and feel like me rather than go any longer feeling lifeless. The first 5-6 months of withdrawal were pure physical and psychological torture. I was bedridden with Akithisia; ruminating thoughts; pure dread and horror about everything; rage; restlessness; irritability; anhedonia; THICK brain fog/cognitive problems; fear of people; intense feelings of shame, guilt and worthlessness; depersonalization; derealization; tinnitus; vision problems; paranoia; heart palpitations; ice pick headaches; muscle fatigue; delusions; joint pain; brain zaps; insomnia; suicidal ideation; mental exhaustion; intense fear of dying; etc. The last 2 months are where things have very slowly been improving to a waves and windows pattern of recovery. I still have most of the symptoms I listed and it’s mostly waves right now that are bad but nowhere near as bad as what they were in the beginning thank god. The windows are not great, I’d say they are just a period where the symptoms aren’t as bad rather than feeling good. The things that are the most devastating to me right now is the massive brain fog, anhedonia, anger and irritability, insomnia, fear of people, and the guilt, shame and worthlessness that’s comes with being in this situation but they are all improving very slowly. I have had moments where I’ve laughed, felt emotional and cried, slightly motivated, and had good talks on the phone with friends and family, and other signs of improvement that were nowhere to be found early on but it’s so easy to get swept up in the waves of despair making me feel like I’ll never be okay again or ever feel like myself again. I wish I could go back and never have taken any psychiatric drugs but here we are. Just looking for people out there who understand what this feels like or want to share their experiences and how they are doing as well. I want to encourage others to keep going and hopefully find some encouragement in return. These last 8 months have been a terribly lonesome and brutal ride that I’m sure only you guys can understand. Also any guidance or encouraging words would be greatly appreciated. ✌🏻❤️

I have been lurking here since June. I had been having a really hard time with anxiety building as the pandemic escalated. My anxiety wasn’t all from the pandemic itself, I have had anxiety and depression for years and it was exacerbated when I had my babies. With my third and fourth, in 2014 and 2017, I took sertraline. It gave me about a week of heightened anxiety and a few blips here and there, but it did help overall with my depression. I was on 25mg for most of the time I took it - about 18 months with one baby and about six months with another. But invariably got anxiety flare ups, especially when I would try to go up to 50mg. I never had a problem going off of it. The last time I took sertraline consistently was probably 2018. Starting in mid-May 2020, my anxiety and depression, but moreso my anxiety, was just becoming worse and worse and I felt like I couldn’t function as a person, parent, etc. I talked to a telehealth doctor who prescribed me buspirone, 7.5mg twice a day. My anxiety got worse and I was trembling and felt almost drunk. Sort of unsteady when I walked, little twitches in my toes, really shaky. I stopped within a couple weeks. I felt really scared. I have had health anxiety since I was a teenager and was so worried about my brain. Talked to telehealth again a couple weeks later and went on 5mg escitalopram in the second week of June. I had an immediate adverse reaction. Sickest I have EVER felt and I had four awful pregnancies so I know sick. I was basically bedbound. I read everywhere that it could make me feel worse before it made me feel better, and that had been my experience with sertraline, but this was so much worse. I was nauseated, shaking inside (I felt like I was vibrating), had a bad tremor in my thumb (which I also had with the buspar), a tingle in my lip and chin and my ear felt twitchy. I would get waves of panic and hot flashes. Diarrhea, zero appetite. I finally had to quit. I called telehealth back and they advised me to stop immediately. And I did. I took 5mg of escitalopram for six days total. My constant nausea eased and the diarrhea stopped. For about a month after, my legs felt like they were buzzing inside. My torso felt like it was shaking inside. I had waves of panic and night sweats. Insomnia. My calves would twitch. It was terrifying. My chin felt tingly for at least a month. The most alarming problem was that I would feel shaky and sweaty and sick to my stomach if I stood up for more than a couple minutes. If I moved around it wasn’t as bad, but I would get really sweaty either way. It started to ease up and I got some real windows starting around 4-6 weeks. But when my twitchiness and anxiety were at their worst, I was afraid to sit down or be still because I knew I would focus too much on my physical sensations. It has now been almost five months and it is not dominating my life anymore, but I get waves which seem to correlate largely with increased stress as well as my menstrual cycle. My remaining symptoms are very faint muscle twitches in my legs, mildly shaky hands, and a tingle in the corner of my mouth that seems to be related to a very mild ear twitch that I experience only in certain positions. I have severe health anxiety and likely OCD and sensory processing issues, so I tend to feel and fixate on these sensations. I believe I have come a very long way since June, but I still worry that I actually have some other issue that caused everything I went through and all those symptoms will come back someday. From reading here, it does sound like I experienced an adverse reaction and my nervous system became hypersensitized, so I am “hopeful” it really was “just” that. I always read people’s posts on here who have adverse reactions because it helps me realize that my experience was real.

Hi guys, I’ve been doing some research into histamine since I believe it plays a very key role in the withdrawal process--at least from the medications that I’m on. I will summarise what I’ve found below as well as the potential impact it could have on managing the withdrawal from antipsychotics such as Zyprexa/Seroquel. I searched this forum but couldn’t find any good overview or discussion, so hoping this can help people. Many of the popular antipsychotics such as Olanzapine/Zyprexa and Seroquel/Quetiapine have a very powerful antihistamine effect: only a very small amount of these medications are required to block the H1 Histamine receptor. Zyprexa, for example, has a Ki(nM) of 0.65–4.9 according to Wikipedia, which is incredibly low (the lower the Ki(nM), the smaller the amount of a medication is needed to block a certain receptor). Therefore, withdrawing from histamine-blocking medications (Zyprexa/Seroquel) is associated with increased histamine (as the blocking effect is reduced, histamine levels become elevated). Certain groups of people might have even had a histamine intolerance and/or high histamine before going on psych-drugs (and both histamine intolerance and high histamine--also related to under-methylation--have been linked to psychosis and other psychiatric disorders), so coming off histamine-blocking medications can also exacerbate this pre-existing imbalance, on top of the effect described in the point above. Histamine is a neuromodulator of the adrenals, so elevated histamine can make the adrenals release a lot more adrenaline, instigate ‘fight or flight’ mode in the body and cause severe anxiety. There is also a strong link between histamine and sleep; having high histamine can cause insomnia. Interestingly, histamine levels naturally peak around 3am/4am, which is when many people experience cortisol spikes and unwanted adrenal activity. Sound familiar? All of these symptoms are very common in the withdrawal process, as we unfortunately know. When withdrawing from histamine-blocking medications, you can take steps to bring down histamine levels to help manage the adverse effects mentioned above. I’ve found anecdotal success stories online from the world of integrative medicine; Alice Lee (MD) says: “If you ever want to successfully reduce a medication that blocks histamine receptors, you will need to know how to lower histamine levels.” Lowering histamine levels can be done through a combination of diet and supplementation: 1) Follow a low-histamine diet (google it for more info!) 2) Through supplementation - taking a histamine digester that ‘chews up the histamine in food’ - Alice Lee recommends Histazyme (by Dr. Amy Myers, MD), but I’ve also seen Daosin 50 and other brands which all contain the same ingredient, Daimine Oxidase 3) Supplementation - natural histamine blockers like Allqlear by Integrative Therapeutics, Histaplex A-B by Biotics Research, or Opsin II by DesBio. Avoid xenobiotics for antihistamine support, such as Benadryl, because the body will react with an inflammatory response to a xenobiotic. I know that this kind of integrative approach is generally a dirty word on this forum, but for me it makes too much sense to ignore. Most of this advice comes from Alice Lee, who is a “holistic psychiatrist” who actually went through the withdrawal process herself, and reports impressive success stories weaning her clients off all kinds of medication (APs, ADs), just check the testimonials on her website TL;DR: I’m going to try a low histamine diet (being more careful around the time when I make a cut to my medication), as well as adding some of the anti-histamine supplements and histamine digesters. I will still be tapering using the 10% method. If anyone else has research or real experience in this area, I would be very curious to hear it. I think it is a very under-recognised factor and understanding more could potentially make for a smoother withdrawal. I'm also conscious that it's only one piece in the puzzle, and there are other receptors to tackle too. But for insomniac, Zyprexa-dependent folks like myself, it could be really key. More reading and links to the success stories can be found here: http://www.holisticpsychiatrist.com/viewpoint/2018/6/7/understanding-histamines-connection-to-mental-health and http://www.holisticpsychiatrist.com/medication-withdrawal/ https://beyondmeds.com/2014/07/13/histamine-psych-drugs/ and https://beyondmeds.com/2013/01/07/histamine-intolerance/ from around 33 mins https://www.mthfrsupport.com.au/dao-deficiency-and-histamine-the-unlikely-connection/

Hi all, thanks for accepting me. I’m in need of some help, all of this is so new to me and I’m trying to make the best decisions I can since making some rather poor choices. May gp put me on 15mg mirt after a panic attack episode in Oct21 and diagnosed me with GAD. Took it on/off for two weeks (stupid mistake) and didn’t get much of the anti anxiety benefit so she upped me to 30mg. Took that for 3 weeks and no anxiety, but the numb-like state and lack of sex drive really got to me, so went back to 15mg for a week and came off CT as I was advised that would be fine… We all know that’s no the case! I’ve done 2 weeks of CT, first 2 days fine, next 3 days nausea and dizziness, next week or so, just headaches and disturbed sleep. All the while no real panic or anxiety, but the physical symptoms were too much to be able to work. So last night, I decided to reinstate on 7.5mg. Slept okay, but woke this morning with pretty bad anxiety and have been restless and irritable most of the day. My question is; I can accept that RI may take days or weeks to stabilise, but how would I know if I’ve missed my window of RI,or need to up or down the dose? Apologies in advance, some of this is fundamental for you all, but I feel like I’m flying blind here as my doctor doesn’t have the knowledge about anti depressants I’m aware nobody can specifically diagnose me, but any help or advice regarding reinstatement would be appreciated.

Violet's Success Story - Fully Recovered from Severe Form of PSSD Hello! I started on 2,5mg escitalopram in december 2018 for GAD and severe clinical depression by my GP. I gradually increased the dose up to 7,5mg and was on this dose for a couple of weeks (until january 7th) I then decided to taper down again, as the drug made me careless, emotionally numb, impaired my cognition and significantly decreased my libido. So I stopped it after 2 months (last 2,5mg pill taken 8th of february). Since stopping I suffered two weeks of accute physical withdrawal (flu-like symptoms, nausea, dizziness etc) but I thought that it would be over and I would go back to «normal», but now it is clear to me that I also suffer from protracted withdrawal (permanent brain damage) and the symptoms are scary and debilitating. I suffer from parasthesia, brain zaps, tinnitus, severe derealization, emotional numbness and extreme apathy to a point where I can’t force myself to get up and eat. I feel completely braindead and my cognition is ruined, the past month has gone by in a haze and I can’t remember or recollect much of it. This is extremely terrifying and almost worse than the original depression. I feel dead, even tho I’m alive. I am a masters student and I can’t function and have no support in my student town. My GP seems to be totally oblivious to the fact that this can happen. I am very distressed (logically, because I can’t really FEEL it) and I would be very grateful if someone here could come with some advice or similar experinces on lexapro that has «recovered» or gotten significantly better and how long it took them. Thank you in advance.

Hello everyone, I am from India 28-YO Male. I was prescribed Paroxetine (sold in India by the name of Pari CR) in Mar 2021 after developing debilitating health anxiety thanks to post covid complications (Dec 2020 - blurred vision, weakness, head issues) I started Paroxetine on a dose of 12.5mg under my GP's supervision and went up to 25mg. This is when my GP and i decided to taper off slowly over a period of 5 months. First month : 25mg Second month : 18.5mg Third month : 12.5mg Fourth month : 6.25mg Fifth month : 6.25mg/every alternate day During this time i did not face any withdrawal symptoms Just two occasions of tension headaches in a span of 4 months. In Jan 2022 i went off the meds ahead of the schedule (Feb / mar 2022) 15 days later i had tension headaches for 10 days which really impacted and i had to take leave and they they disappeared. I thought i was good. But in March 2nd week, I got an acids reflux issue followed by tension headaches, weakness, dizziness , extreme hunger and this issues are still prevalent right now. And i am sure this is the second wave of my withdrawal symptoms . Does anyone has any advise on mitigating these symptoms? Currently I am not on any other meds And things i do to help : 1. Walk to get my heart rate up 2. Laugh and laugh more 3. Meditation 4. Sports on Saturday (badminton) if my body allows.

It has been nearly 4 months since I quit Lexapro cold turkey. Before that I had been on Zoloft for a few months, and before that I had been on Celexa for about 10 years. Nothing seemed to be working anymore, and I felt like I had been in a coma of sorts for more than a decade. I pulled the plug, and shortly after, all hell broke loose. Though my username might suggest otherwise, I am a 43-year-old woman. I feel I should mention that, though I still have many symptoms, I am currently coping with these at the moment. I am most concerned about the mental/emotional issues currently, but I will list the physical first. My physical symptoms were/are: insomnia for about 3 wks (sleep is better now but far from ideal); numbness in my legs and arms for about 6-7 wks; electricity-like vibrations or tremors all over my body (still have these in varying intensity); tinnitus (on and off for 2 mnths, occasional now); it was very difficult to eat ( I lost about 30lbs in 2.5 mnths); intense head pressure (2.5 mnths, occasional now); pain in my ears (fairly constant still); body twitches for about 3wks; vivid dreams that wake me up several times a night (constant since the initial insomnia lessened); feeling like something was lightly crawling all over my face and the top of my head for almost 3 months; no energy for 2 months (slightly improved now); intense heat particularly in my chest (still happens 3-4 times/wk at night); confusion and difficulty concentrating (has improved quite a bit in the last month); problems with my eyes (blurry, tired) is ongoing; diarrhea (still fairly constant); dizziness (still happens but only occasional now);and I became extremely sensitive to sound; light; smells; taste; other people’s emotions and stress (still dealing with these). I’m sure I’m forgetting things, but typing this has been a bit exhausting. Okay, now for the mental and emotional stuff. I became intensely afraid of the dark for several weeks. Thankfully that passed. I was terrified to be alone, and I am still afraid to be left on my own for too long. I experienced terror like I had never felt before. I learned to sit with it and accept it without giving a narrative to it. At first I felt at its mercy, but in January, I decided to sit with it, feel it physically while not giving it a narrative, and accept it. I kind of spoke to it. I said that I accepted that it was there but that it could feel free to leave at any time. I would ride out those waves in this way. That terror hasn’t visited me in a few weeks. Anxiety has been a constant companion. I talk to it too and treat it like I did the terror. I can settle it down eventually, but I know it’s not done with me yet. I also wake up with panic in the middle of the night. I decided a couple of weeks ago to not entertain any suicidal thoughts anymore. It is not an option, and I will not do it. I have become a bit claustrophobic, and early on, I had to keep running out of rooms or running outside. I’m getting tired, so I think I’ll jump to some of my concerns and questions. Since November, I lost my ability to daydream, and I miss that escape desperately. Will it come back? Will any spark of creativity come back? I find it hard to enjoy things, but I make myself do things to keep me occupied, like crochet. I used to be obsessed with music, but I can barely listen to it now. I can’t really watch most tv, but I have, thankfully, been able to watch gentle anime in the evenings to settle me down for sleep. When I get through this, I think I will have to write some sort of love letter about the genre keeping me going. British panel shows and British painting and pottery shows I can also handle. Will I be able to enjoy tv, music, and fiction again? I feel like I don’t remember how to be a person. Why am I afraid to be alone with my thoughts? Why do I worry from the morning how I will distract myself enough to get through another day? Where is any feeling of fun or enthusiasm? I focus on gratitude and am making every effort to be kind to myself. I also make an effort to be kind to others. I feel love for my parents and brother, and I tell them so often. I’ve journaled about past pains and traumas and chosen to forgive those involved. So I’m trying to lay the groundwork for positivity in my brain. But I feel like I’m in an unending existential crisis. I have trouble making much of an effort to do things, and I often feel like there is no point. Sadness I can feel, but happiness is elusive. It all just takes time, right? I guess I’m looking for hope. Sorry if this is a bit of a disorganized mess. Thank you, SurvivingOnAnime Lexapro 5mg for 3 months (quit November 2019) Lexapro 10mg for 14 months (July 2018 - Sept 2019) Zoloft 50mg for 5 months (March 2018 - July 2018) Celexa for 10 years (2008- March 2018)

My husband is not doing well. He wants to change...but he doesn't have the motivation right now to research and find a solution so I am advocating on his behalf. We desperately need advice. History: •2013-2021: Lexapro 20mgIn those years he tried to wean himself off at least once and would forget to take pills or run out of an rx for a few days which always led to fuzzy/light headedness. He was frustrated because he felt like he didn't need the medication anymore but he had to take it to avoid withdrawals. •Feb/March of 2021 he'd had enough and weaned himself off over a few months going from 20 to 10 to 5 to none. •May 2021-September 2021 no medication. The withdrawals were brutal. I don't know exactly what he felt, he kept to himself and was generally very irritable. In September he decided to talk to his primary care Dr and get a new rx. She recommended Zoloft.•October 2021-Now: 50mg Zoloft increased to 75 in December currently backed himself down to 50.Zoloft is way worse. Could it be hypersensitivity? He has no sex drive and avoids touch. He doesn't really have feelings but expresses an underlying general unhappiness. He's having anxiety in situations that previously were not stressful for him. Easily irritated. We know his nervous system is sensitized and the taper needs to be super slow. My question is do we have him reverse out of Zoloft (since he feels so terrible on it) back onto Lexapro and do the gradual taper on Lexapro? Or does he just deal with how Zoloft makes him feel and do the taper on Zoloft? Any other thoughts or recommendations? Thank you so much in advance...finding this community has given me a glimmer of hope.

Hello everyone, I hope I am making this correctly. Im 30 years old, have been on Celexa since ~2007 for depression. Please bear with me as my memory is HORRIBLE and I don't know how accurate my information will be. Initial dose was 10mg(I believe), was told it would be for a short period of time and then I would go off them. Doctor increased in time to 20mg, this worked for many years. At some point I felt I was having issues and my doctor put me up to 40mg. Unsuccessfully tried to go off with doctors orders a few times. I have a new doctor & also a therapist(this is new to me). My new doctor wanted to put me on a different medication and prescribed me wellbutrin suggested tapering off 40mg to 20mg, 20mg for a week, 10mg for a week, then nothing for a week and start new meds. I had horrible symptoms after 2 days on 20mg. My therapist told me that was way too fast so went to 30mg, i did that until I stopped having brain zaps about 2 weeks, then the same for 20mg about 2 weeks, and then I think I did 3 weeks on 10mg. i felt okay on 10mg and wasnt sure if I needed to go on a different med (have heard wellbutrin is bad if you have anxiety already). My therapist suggested I go to 0mg for a while to get a "baseline" of how I feel if u need meds or not. Have had 0mg for 2 or 3 weeks and was fine until December 23 when I started to feel extremely sore, headache that wouldn't go away and dizzy. Dec 24th - 28th was even worse with dizziness that I couldn't barely do anything (pretty much missed Christmas) but also crazy sad and anxious for no reason. December 29th started with brain zaps on top of everything else. I made a post on reddit about it and was told by a fellow celexa user that this website really helped them and they had tapered too fast and had withdrawal issues for 8 months before going back on celexa and is half way through a 2 year taper down the right way. I am a bit stubborn and have fought not wanting to go back on celexa, but I'm starting to think I should and try tapering again much slower. Sorry my post was so long

Hi All, I've been reading this forum for a while and the topics here have been indispensable, especially regarding dealing with withdrawal symptoms as I prepare myself for a slow taper off of my remaining dose. Pre-backstory I’m in my early 20s and I just graduated college in late 2014 with a high GPA and a degree in Computer Science. I’ve got a strong resume with projects under my belt. I should be starting my career right now but can’t due to antidepressant withdrawal, but I keep telling myself that I will get better and it will happen, I just need some more time to heal mentally and spiritually. Backstory On January 1st of this year (2015) I suffered the first panic attack of my life. I’ve always had weird heart flutters and missed beats, so I thought I was having a heart attack and dying. The day that I had this awful panic attack, I didn’t get much sleep the night before and I didn’t eat much that day (triggers, I know). I also smoked pot regularly (I am clean now) which in retrospect I figure could be messing with my seratonin. I had bad depersonalization that day, basically forgot who I was for a few hours, and over the next month or so I was bedridden feeling shaky every day, suffering a chain of panic attacks in bed. I was immediately prescribed ativan (lorazepam) to help dull the panic attacks, and shortly thereafter, desperate for something to stop the chain of panic attacks, I was prescribed Lexapro. I took the Lexapro 5mg for the first week and 10mg for the second week, and basically over the next few months my panic attacks got generally better but my mental health got generally worse. My doctor upped me to 20mg Lexapro and I got so disoriented and out-of-it that my mom had to start walking me up to the door of my therapy appointments, because I didn’t feel like I could do it alone. I decided to taper down off the Lexapro because my panic attacks had basically vanished, the Lexapro was causing some bad side effects (at higher doses making me confused and disoriented all the time, at the lower doses mostly just preventing me from getting decent sleep, so I was feeling tired all the time). I felt like the panic attacks would probably not come back, since I was on a good new pattern of diet, exercise, supplements (fish oil, magnesium, probiotic and multivitamin), and I also stopped smoking weed completely, which I think may have been a big contributor to the initial panic attack. Anyways, I had miraculous success taking the dosage down from 20mg to 10mg, from 10mg to 5mg, and from 5mg to 2.5mg, with almost no withdrawal effects. The side effects improved steadily with each dosage decrease, and I’m very grateful that I had so little trouble getting down this far. The big trouble started happening about a month ago. I had thought that I had tapered down successfully from 2.5mg because I felt pretty great for 3 weeks on 1.25mg (¼ of a 5mg pill) with no discernible withdrawal symptoms (Sept 9 2015 to Sept 29 2015). On my psychiatrist’s suggestion, I dropped the lexapro completely (0mg) on Sept 30 and I felt worse and worse for about 4 days. On the 4th day I almost had a panic attack, and I felt so depressed and shaky that I took a small fragment of my pill to try to stave off the symptoms. Literally 15 minutes after taking the pill fragment I went from feeling terrible to feeling great, browsing the internet on my phone. So I stabilized again on 1.25mg after about 5 days, or so I thought. 1.25mg (¼ of a tiny 5mg pill) is terribly difficult to measure - there was one time I wasn’t sure if I even took my pill fragment or if it fell on the floor, since it was so small I couldn’t feel it on my tongue. So I started pushing it against the roof of my mouth so I could be sure it was actually in my mouth. But that made it start to disintegrate before it hit my stomach, so… basically I think that my true dosage was getting really uneven. I felt really tired some days and needed naps, and other days I felt mostly fine. So I figured I could get a more consistent dose if I switched to the liquid, which my psychiatrist prescribed for me. Latest Chapter So on 10/28/2015 I switched to the liquid. I figured that the liquid form would be much more readily absorbed by my body than the pill fragments and I was right. I started out with 1.2mg of the liquid and it felt like way too much (cloudy head, sleepy all day), so over the course of 2 days I lowered it to 0.9mg, which felt pretty fine for 5 days. I felt like I was getting better and that I could even start driving and running errands around town with my mom again if I just waited a few more days. On 11/4 I made a really, really stupid headstrong decision. I felt like I could reduce my symptoms even more if I just reduced the dose by a tiny bit further. So that day I cut from 0.9mg to 0.8mg (which in hindsight was a HUGE cut especially considering how recently I had changed the dose before that). The depression came back in such full force that I immediately had to put the dose back up to 0.9mg 2 days later, but reupping the dose didn’t help at that point. I continued to get worse and worse (more depression/anxiety) until my mom pointed out that I was only eating like 800 calories every day - I knew that my appetite was shot, but I had no idea I was eating so little. On 11/11 I started counting calories and now I’m getting at least 2000 per day, with an ultimate goal of 2500. I upped the lexapro from 9mg to 9.5mg daily and the crippling depression is partway gone now. Anyways now it’s 11/14 and I think I’m seeing some progress, but I can never be sure, and these symptoms are very difficult to work through every day. Today Over the last few days, every morning I wake up nauseous and depressed, and every night I get anxious and need to take a 0.5mg lorazepam to calm down. Progress is slow for me and I’m impatient, but I keep trying to remind (convince?) myself that my body is working very hard to right itself chemically, and that if I just hold this dose and don’t do anything else stupid with it, I will feel a little better by next week, and yet a little better by the week after. I could really use some reassurance though :/ My First Question I’m taking 0.95mg in 2 doses daily (0.475mg at 11am and 0.475mg at 1:30pm). On 0.95mg I feel like my seratonin levels are very unbalanced (depressed/hopeless in the morning, decent around noon, anxious by afternoon/evening). When I accidentally took my second lexapro dose at about 4pm one day instead of 1:30pm, that night I went into a drug-trip kind of sleep (almost like an alternate reality) which was a little scary but most of all exhausting and made me feel disoriented and confused and anxious the next day. As of the last few days, I wake up after vivid dreams exhausted, not at all rested, depressed, and with a burst of adrenaline. Will my body actually be able to get used to such a low 0.95mg dose taken mostly towards the beginning of the day like this? If I just stick it out for another week or two, my mood will start to level out again so that I’m not getting these big daily mood swings, right? If not, where do I go from here? Thank you everyone for your support.

Hi All , I need your help ! I was on low dose of Amitriptyline ( 10 mg ) from Sept 29 th to Nov 9th , approx for 1 month. Was given this for low grade vascular headache Now I am 2 months off the drug , but still have issues. Approx 2 weeks post stopping the drug i started having severe tinnitus in both ears and still have it now , light sensitivity , brain fog , difficulty in concentration I had anxiety which I feel has been reduced since beginning of January. I got my tests done for MRI and all health tests everything came out clean , visual tests and macula degeneration tests also done Opthamologist message : Amitriptyline is neuro and ototoxic : your body will wean it eventually , he said it will take a month and I was actually getting better but BAM ! Jan 3rd week I was down in dumps again November Post stopping the drug : No Changes , just little bit of fogginess , headache Dec 1st week to 2nd Week : Muscle pain /drowsiness dec 3rd week to Dec 4 th week ( worst ) : i had grainy vision ( visual snow ) only on walls may be and then night vision was pathetic , brain zaps I was miserable was in dumps . Jan 1st week to 2nd week : On Jan 2nd when I work up my anxiety was gone ( its been better ) and getting better and my grainy vision I felt had subsided , I continued to move on ahead with the tinnitus and less snow Jan 3rd week to now : Suddenly I felt my vision dimness has got better ( I could feel this ) , the places i thought was previously dim was bright , and along with this the snow also became more , for example I an see sparse dots in day light and also when I look at my computer screen , and the walls have gone bad, not sure why this happened, shoulder pain , eye fatigue , dizziness , like when I close my eyes I see patterns and circle , when I m in REM braiz zaps after images ( both negative and positive)[ the symptoms I faced in Jan was not faced before in my life ] All the above symptoms Never had them in months of Oct, Nov Tinnitus : More Muscle Pain More Due to which : I'm nervous and anxious Issues I have now : Tinnitus more on left now , previously more on right , afterimages , vision snow ( bothers me the most ) and I know its not more than many of ul here , lil bit anxiety due to all this issues Disclaimer : I didn't know amitriptyline was an antidepressants until the 7th day of me taking it , I forgot to check it up online . Never done drugs in past , not smoked , no alcohol , I was a independent girl doing things on my own but now I'm so dependant on my family for everything I hope I get over this , I'm only 29 never had issues like this .

So I dont know where to start, so i guess ill just jump right into it straight away. I'm a 21 year old guy and im in my 3rd year of university. I was prescribed Citalopram 10mg when i was 20 years old for anxiety. I never really had any depression or any other mental problem, apart from the anxiety, which kind of affected my life a bit. Nothing i couldnt manage, but still decided to try out SSRI's to see whether they would help. My doctor prescribed me 10mg Citalopram and it took a while for it to work, about 4 months. Honestly, i felt great after that period of time, i was still kinda myself, but without the constant worry and shortness of breath when i was in social situations, especially presentations and job interviews. Then, something went wrong. The anxiety was still under control and I felt very confident, but my emotions started becoming numb. I no longer felt happiness the same way, like i could still tell that i was happy, but it was like kinda meh happy. I stopped enjoying things i used to love, like gym, running, video games, writing music, etc. I kinda became complacent with everything, but not in a good way. I stopped striving for success, because i constantly had this fake euphoric feeling like everything is always gonna be alright, so i dont need to worry about achieving anything. Anyway, I went to my doctor again and got prescribed 20mg Citalopram after using 10mg for 6 months. That dosage didnt really do anything apart from introduce procrastination and anger. I became very snappy and always delayed everything until the last minute. (I used to be the type to finish everything on day 1 and then relax). That apathy feeling of not wanting do anything also increased. I just simply stayed patient, hoping that my brain will adjust to the new dosage. I waited 3 months and although i felt ok-ish, something felt off. Even my friends told me that i kinda became boring. I used to be this euphoric, overly excited class clown and then months later became this sleepy depressed guy. Also, got this crazy brain fog which made me really incompetent at things i used to excel at. Used to be a human calculator back in school, then after 9 months on SSRI's could barely do 7x7. My memory was impaired, libido non existent, ED, speech slur, and a bunch of other BS i never had. The worst part was that i could no longer write music. Before, i would be able to come up with lyrics in my head no problem, whereas after SSRI's, my brain was just silent, its like there was no thought processes going on in my skull anymore. Went to my doctor again, and tried a different SSRI. I got prescribed 100mg Sertaline and used that for 2 months, which kinda worked better than citalopram but when it did start working, i started experiencing withdrawals from Citalopram, which kinda oversaturated the effectiveness of this new SSRI. So I went back to doctor again and got prescribed 10mg Citalopram again, since that had the best effect on me in the first 4-6 months i started using them. Long story short, I started withdrawing due to minimising my dosage, so i kind of reached this F it moment and said "im done". I did a quick taper of 3 weeks. 2 weeks of 5mg and 1 week of 2.5 mg and i just quit. To make it clear, I did 6 months of 10mg Cit, 3 months of 20mg Cit, 2 months of 100mg Sert, and finished off with 10mg Cit again. This is where my visit to hell happened. Im going to keep this short for those who are like me and cant be bothered reading long paragraphs, so ill give you my withdrawal timeline. First 3.5 months - pure hell. Brain impairment, which included the usual things you hear. Crazy bain dog (I felt completely stupid, like an inexperienced 8 year old in a 21 year old body) All grades went down. Went from the brightest student, to an absolute abomination of a human. The worst symptom was irritability. The amount of arguments and things i broke in a span of 3.5 months is just crazy. Fought a bunch of men who tried dating my mother. Also started losing a bit of hair, which fortunately started growing back, and pretty much every other symptom you see here, like depersenalisation, dissociation, atpathy, etc. Around the 4 month mark, i started getting the windows and waves pattern. So there were days where i felt ok-ish and then other days where it was back to the pure hell experienced in the first 3.5 months. This lasted to about the month 5 month mark. Around 5 months, still windows and waves but now the windows were longer and waves shorter. Still experienced some brain fog and irritability. Around 5.75 month mark, my old personality started coming back. Irritability started vanishing. More positive outlook on life came back. IQ started increasing back up, so i no longer felt a bit daft. Actually started enjoying things again. Now, im around the 6.5 month mark, maybe 6.75 and i feel even better. I havent experienced that withdrawal feeling (YET). There are days where i feel a bit odd, like not myself but they only last a day, maximum two. To conclude, I feel like the major withdrawal symptoms are gone, because i felt good for the past month. Not a single anger outburst, or days where i have brain fog. One thing that i still struggle with is a bit of ED and low libido, but i feel like that will improve over time. I still have that voice in my head telling me that another huge wave might hit me down the line, which scares me quite a bit, but im already so far into this recovery process that i dont really give a damn. I feel like i have another 10-15% left to recover, but honeslty this will do, compared to what i've went through. Anyway, i hope this encourages some people, and helps you get through this atrocious mental state, because i feel like if the withdrawals lasted any longer, i doubt i'd still be here honeslty. I just wanted to share this for anyone losing hope like i did, when i watched a bunch of YouTube vids of people saying how their withdrawals were over after like a month, and then there was me just dying 5 months later. Ps. Ignore the horrible grammar, i was typing this super fast.

I would greatly appreciate your wisdom and experience in helping me understand my mirtazapine withdrawal experience My name is Terry and my general practitioner prescribed mirtazapine for insomnia, emotional burnout, anxiety, and depression. I was desperate at the time and did not know what I was getting into. Instead of taking time off work and focusing on myself, I decided to take the pill. I was on 7.5 mg from March to July 2021 and then decided to taper off it. I followed a tapering plan I had found here: http://www.citap.org.uk/SSRI-Tables.pdf I decided to taper and stop the drug because the side effects started outweighing the benefits. I have been off mirtazapine since September (over three months now) and I would like to share my withdrawal symptoms with you. I am not sure if the protracted withdrawal is due to mirtazapine and the way I tapered or 1) if I am simply losing my mind or 2) I have a serious underlying health issue. Generally speaking, I feel like someone has hacked into my mind and body and has programmed it to malfunction and go berserk. At the moment, I am suffering from: Insomnia (I might get one solid night's sleep a week, if I am lucky; otherwise, I have broken sleep or very little or no sleep at all.) Lightheadedness Nausea Heart palpitations (my heart races and feels like it is beating hard) Nervousness Anxiety Hot flashes (in the middle of the night) Depression (often feel like crying) Numb and burning hands Feeling unsteady on my feet A general state of lethargy, weakness, and fatigue I had blood work done and everything was normal. I also had a cerebral MRI and it was normal. Are my symptoms part of mirtazapine protracted withdrawal? Is this "normal" in terms of withdrawal or should I be worried that it is due to something else? I would greatly appreciate any reassurance and sharing of experience. I feel like I have become a hypochondriac because I do not know what is abnormal and what is due to the poison my body is trying to adjust to not having anymore. Thank you for your time and help. Terry

Hi everyone, I was recommended this website after asking for advice on reddit. I've been on citalopram variously doses for 11 years now tbh when I first started taking them If I knew the effects of coming off them was so bad I probably wouldn't have bothered. I attempted to come off them cold turkey in 2016 after my depression felt like it was under control now. Literally knew nothing about withdrawal and thought I may experience a few side effects for a few weeks and be fine... Doh! Initially had around 2 months of feeling euphoric and so happy and was like why was I on this drug for so long, then I crashed and became irritable, miserable, depressed, unmotivated and was told I needed my meds that's why so went back on them. Decided to come off them again recently, I halved my tablet to 5mg for 4 weeks then stopped thinking I was tapering off not actually understanding or knowing what tapering off meant until now! First 3 weeks I was okay no side effects. Then I got vertigo/dizziness which lasted around a week, I'm in week 5 and feel so odd, I've got really bad fatigue, low energy, struggling to sleep at night, feel sort of detached from myself and the world like I'm lost. No concentration, no motivation and time seems to just be disappearing on me a whole day will go by and feels like I've been up for an hour or two and done nothing. I'm irritable and teary, cry at anything. My brain just feels so dead. This is awful! After doing proper research not just what the docs tell you about 3 weeks you'll be fine etc but this can last for months even years? Why is this? Why is it so hard to come off these drugs and why are the withdrawal effects so adverse yet no doctor seems to know or warn you about this and tell you you're just having a relapse. I know I'm not depressed. But if I have to experience these effects and more to come no doubt for how long?? I will probably start to feel like I am again. Any advice on what more to expect or possibly how long this will take until I feel normal? Any advice on just dealing with fatigue and no motivation and all the other symptoms? I feel like this is a serious issue that more people should be made aware of before they're given these meds so easily.

I apologise if I'm not writing this in the correct place, but I can barely concentrate on writing it, at all. I started tapering off Amitriptyline 75mg earlier in the year. I was given no support from my doctors on how to do it. I had been on it over 20 yrs for pain & anxiety, & developed a heart condition (POTS), whilst on it. I also lost lots of hair, & gained weight. My heart consultant told me to get off the Amitriptyline in 2018. I had made several attempts, but only succeded this year. I came off it over a period of about 4 months. I went through horrendous withdrawal effects, & have now been off it around 4 months, but I am still suffering awful leg problems, even now. It is like an electric current going through my legs. They do not jump or twitch, but feel like they are tense & spasming deep inside. So hard to describe. I used to get like this when it was time to take a dose of Ami. in the later years I was on it. Now it is all day, every day, since withdrawal. Only my Tramadol or Codeine takes the edge off, but barely. I can't focus on anything. I am exhausted. I really don't want to be put on more drugs, risking more side effects, & I hate having to use my pain killers, for relief. They barely help, & make me feel groggy. Is this common, & is it likely to pass, or do I have no choice but to go back to my doctor for more drugs? Thank you so much, in advance.

Hello. I was on Paxil 10mg & switched to fluoxetine 10mg for menopause symptoms. Fluoxetine just replaced Paxil, not weaned. I felt awful thinking it was the fluoxetine (not realizing it was Paxil withdrawal) & stupidly stopped all medication less than 2 weeks later. In a few days I felt better than I’ve felt in years. 3 months later I started with bad anxiety followed by shaking, feeling hot, head felt like it was being squeezed. My therapist recommended 1mg of fluoxetine or 1mg of Paxil. I went to my primary doctor & saw the NP who said my symptoms were too severe to be helped by 1mg so started 5mg of Paxil. 1st night I had anxiety & trouble sleeping so took 1/2 of a 0.25mg Xanax. 2nd night I had insomnia, awake until 3:30 am - it wasn’t anxiety, it was just insomnia. Yesterday was my 3rd dose of 5mg of Paxil. Phone call to NP for something not addictive & safe with Paxil use for sleep. He recommended Tylenol PM or Benadryl. I saw on Benadryl that it can make some hyper & was too scared to take it. I was able to sleep on & off without it. Today I feel head pressure, nervous, arm tingling, left bicep twitching, foggy, fatigued. I can’t tell if this is withdrawal symptoms still or if I am having reinstatement symptoms from starting at too high of a dose after being off Paxil for almost 4 months. I’m afraid to take another dose & I’m afraid to drop it now that I’ve been on 5mg for 3 days.

Hello everybody, I am new and I want to tell my little story about escitalopram (cipralex)and to share some thoughts. I have been using it for about 1,5 years back in 2013/2014 and I am now "clean" from that moment on. So, about 3, 3 years. I want to share some withdrawal symptoms I had and how I treated them ( still treating some of them) and I would love to have some feedback on it. Let's start from the first signals I got once I stopped ( I stopped really gradually and I haven't experience nothing strange at first, I mean in the first months I would say): 1)In about 5 months I gained 10 kg ( 22lbs) without changing any eating or sport habits. I haven't lost them up untill I did some food intolerance tests and I discovered many of them. I stopped eating gluten for a while ( 1,5 years) and I Iost them in the first 3 months of diet. Now ,paradoxically, I'm struggling with the opposite problem, I cannot put weight on anymore, I believe I eat 5 times the calories a normal person eat but nothing change. I am an ex- professional football player and I believe that my body now has problem to put muscles on, I would say I need about 4/5 kg of muscles to be back to normal but there is no way to achieve that. So first consideration for me, beyond the weight gain problem that is well knows, I have the impression that this drug makes it harder to put muscles on again. 2) I have some kind of permanent chronic telogen effluvium, I lost tons of hairs since I stopped that drug, but I'm not going bald. Just hairs everywhere, sometime more, sometime less. I am not able to deal with this problem and I won't go into other drugs at all. Usually hair loss occurs during medication, but for me it started right after the discontinuation... any other with same problem? 3)I have almost all the time a constant feeling of not being comfortable with my body, I mean it is difficult to explain... after that diet it improved a lot, but I still have some "signals" that my body sends to warn me that something isn't going in the right direction.... I find a lot of relief with mindfulness and sports, but still I am feeling strange physically speaking...my skin is drier and other stuff... Just to be clear, I like myself, I still like my body and I do fully accept it as it is, but there is something wrong, I know it better than anyone, it is not responding in the best way. 4) Libido stuff : a light loss of libido, and missing or weak mornig erection...During sex everything is kind of normal, I believe in a scale from 0 - to 10 I would say I feel 8,5 normal down there, but still something is going wrong. I am supplementing with ashwuaganda and I am doing 1 day water fast per week since couple of months, I feel great after it in terms of body sensations, but I am not sure it is helping with libido... 5) Alchool makes me feel a bit weird too... It is a strange effect, like I am poisoned( not drunk !!) after a glass of wine or a beer. I mean, it's not a big deal I am basically not touching alchool anymore, but I used to love wine and alchool in general, with moderation, and now there is this problem. 6) I feel I have lost a lot of motivation in life in general, to better say I need to motivate my self 300% times more than before ssri to do stuff... I am dealing with this problem again with mediatation, sport and with a second job... The sensation is that I am ok whilel I am doing stuff, but when I stop or I rest I do not feel great, I do not enjoy rest anymore as it used to be. To conclude, I would like to say that for me the first year after SSRI has been a nightmare for me.... a proper body shock, I am not sure how I managed not to take them again.... but slowly everything is going in the right direction, I still need to figure out some small problems and deal with them, but I would NEVER take them again for any reasons. I think I want to consider the fasting method more seriously, I would like to do it for 3 or 4 days in a raw in the near future, I read that many people recovering for post-SSRI syndrome found it very usefull. In these years I have taken a lot of supplements too... like curcumin, inositol, various herbs, cbd oil... a lot believe me... but I am quitting them all... I will leave the body free Maybe the post was a bit too long and boring, sorry for that... I appreciate any comments and suggestion.

Hi Everyone! I started taking Lexapro three years ago at the age of 24 after therapy sessions and the occasional Xanax were no longer working for my anxiety. My psychologist diagnosed me with OCD and GAD. Dread is the only way I can explain it. Vicious thoughts and dread. I wasn't depressed nor had I ever been and this hit me like a ton of bricks. I would be out and then this wave of panic would come out of no where. Dizzying and all consuming. I would start crying, become dizzy, and just be in an all out panic. It got to the point where aside from getting up and going to work everyday (getting out of the door was the hardest) I would basically refuse to do anything. Otherwise I would shake and feel like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I started with my general physician putting me on 5mg of Lexapro and then eventually going all the way up to 20mg. Aside from noticing a drop in my libido, slight dulling of feelings, and mild tiredness I felt like a new person. I actually remember the exact place I was where I felt those all consuming mind racing thoughts turn off. For the next three years I was perfect. Lexapro pretty much saved me. Recently in November of 2016 I decided that I wanted to go off. I was in a different place in my life. I was working, going to grad school and nights and living on my own. In hindsight I probably should have waited until I finished grad school since I was/am at one of the most stressful times in my life. Full time job, while taking a full three classes per semester at nights. But hey hindsight is 20/20 right? I tapered over three months. Probably too quickly, and by the end of January I was entirely off. My only immediate withdrawal symptoms were dizziness (not enough to stop me from driving) and I remember for about a week and half every time I would shift my eyes it felt like it took my brain a second to catch up. Finally nothing. I thought I was free. I was feeling again, my emotions came back, but all without that feeling of dread. Two weeks ago, about five months after I've been Lexapro free, I got the worst stomach virus I've had in years/gastritis/my period all in one week. I wasn't eating and I had lost 10lbs. I'm small to being with so I went from 118 to 108 quick. Then... It hit. Sick on a Wednesday and by Sunday I had the worst panic attack I've had in years. To get up from my bed was crippling. Am I relapsing? My mind was flooded. The PTSD was so bad from the thought of me relapsing into what I was pre-Lexapro crippled me. And since then I haven't been able to stop crying. My dizziness had returned along with chills, mind racing, feeling like I wanted to jump out of my own skin and rip it off, and the non stop crying. To the point opening my mouth and talking about a plain wall would make me start crying. I also have no appetite. The thought of eating makes me feel sick. I called my doctor and during my virus check up visit he gave me .25mg of Xanax. I thought this would kick it but it hasn't. It actually made me feel worse. I see my psychologist tomorrow to now talk about whats happening to me. My doctor said if this doesn't go away I cannot be reliant upon Xanax and I would have to go back on my Lexapro, but I DON'T WANT TO. I only took the Xanax once and I really am fighting to not take another, even though I feel like I am being tortured by my own mind. I want to be medicine free. I know what SSRI's can do to the body. That five months of freedom of no drugs and no anxiety were amazing. My questions are: Am I relapsing? or am I still withdrawing? Any advice? I am so scared that this isn't going to go away and that I am going to be right back to square 1. Thank you!! xx

Hey guys, I have been on venlafaxine xr since 2011. When I started, I was at a terrible place in my life. I was 22 years old and living with crippling GAD (mainly health anxiety), social anxiety and suffering from daily panic attacks. After years of not doing anything about it/not getting any help - I finally went to the doctor to explain to him what I had been feeling (mostly at the request of worried family members). I left my appointment that day with a prescription for venlafaxine and valium, the latter of which I refused to touch/take. Slowly but surely things started to improve. My panic attacks stopped altogether and with the help of CBT I was able to pull myself out of the hole that I had landed. 5 years down the line I felt like I no longer needed venlafaxine but every attempt to stop it resulted in massive withdrawal symptoms and it never felt like the right time to deal with the effects of stopping. So basically, I continued to take venlafaxine even I felt like it was no longer serving a purpose in my life. I had periods where I felt more anxious again but I never felt like it helped me the way it did during the initial few years. In any case, fast forward to August 2020. I had just given my 4 weeks notice to leave my job and was preparing to move to a new country with my long time boyfriend. I made a plan with my doctor to finally start tapering and push through it no matter what. I felt like I was in a good place in my life and I wanted to be finally of this drug, especially because we are planning on having a baby a year or two down the line. My doctor did not have a lot of experience with venlafaxine or withdrawals. His taper plan was too fast (he expected me to be completely off within one month of tapering) and made me feel extremely unwell so I took it upon myself to taper even more slowly and to stay on various doses for much longer in order for my body to adjust. Two weeks before my planned move, a close family member was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn't bring myself to leave and postponed my move in order to care for said family member. They passed away in December 2020 and my anxiety skyrocketed. The panic attacks returned. My doctor tried to convince me to increase my meds again to help my symptoms but I really did not want to do that after struggling so much to get down to 37.5 mg. I refused and started therapy again instead. I stayed on 37.5 mg for quite some months. In May I started tapering again. My capsules have 3 tiny pills inside of them so I decided to remove one pill every 4-5 weeks. I had withdrawal symptoms during this time but they were light and manageable and always subsided after about 2 weeks. 12 days ago I took my last pill. 12.5 mg, the lowest I could go without crushing the medication. My withdrawals have no been fun. They include: debilitating brain fog (seriously it has been so bad - i can't think. Does anyone else suffer terribly from this?), sweating, shivering, brain zaps, fatigue, heavy eyes, feeling irritable, feeling weepy, nightmares, nausea, dizzyness parasthesia. I thought that with time I would just start to feel better with each passing day but instead I have a day where I feel better followed by a cluster of days where I feel terrible again. The brain fog is the worst though. I was told that my slow taper was probably not slow enough and that I should reinstate and start crushing my medication. I feel extremely reluctant to do this because of how much of a task it was to stop. I never want to go on this medication again. But at the same time I am fearful that I am going to be stuck like this forever and am considering reinstating (while also hating that fact that I need to now entertain the idea)

ADMIN NOTE I stumbled upon this and found it sensible. ("other addictions part" http://protractedbenzodiazepinewithdrawal.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/27-months/ It basically assess the agony of paws may lead to addictive behaviours (like computer, music, to name mine) which stimulate dopamine so as to make it through, and that in the long run it would possibly downregulate dopamine receptors and trigger/worsen/prolong anhedonia. What do you think about it? Is there any other people who are bound to some alienating addictive behaviours so as to ease the making through the day?