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Hello I am 53 monthe out from a xanax CT withdrawal. It has taken me this long to begin finally feeling myself again. Complete hellish experience. Finally getting moving past brain fog. I am still on 150mg venlafaxine XR 150 daily and three weeks ago, started tapering by 10% every 4 weeks. So far so good. I wanted to make my first site post and make some friends here during my taper. I will add my info to my signature shortly. Wishing all peace in their journey. Hingie

01/2019: I started taking 20mg Paroxetine. Very good reaction. 5 years, from 06/2019 until 01/2023: Brain zaps between daily doses. Weight gain 20kg 02/2023: Beginning of withdrawal. Reduction 2mg per month. Weaning 5 months ok down to 10mg. Weight loss 5kg. 07-9/2023: withdrawal 4-3-2-1ml Paroxetine liquid (1ml = 2mg) 10/2023 Insomnia, suicidal thoughts, weight loss 5kg. Paroxetine reinstatement: 2 ml (4mg) 11/2023 Insomnia, suicidal thoughts Paroxetine 2.5 ml (5mg) 11/2023 pharmacy dosing error: 2.5 ml (7.5 mg): 1ml = 3mg 1 week in very good health!!! After correction of dosage error, back to 2.5 ml (5mg). After 2 days: Insomnia, suicidal thoughts. 12/2023 Introduction Xanax retard (0.5 to 1mg daily). Introduction Sertraline 25-50-75 Paroxetine withdrawal in 4 weeks 2.5ml-2ml-1.5ml-0ml Today: Insomnia, suicidal thoughts. Even Xanax retard doesn't help. What to do? Reintroduce Paroxetine? Thank you for your help!

Hi there, so I'm not new to Zoloft, been taking 50 mg (1 pill) for 10 years from age 17-27. I'm 42 now. I don't really remember how I tapered back then, as far as I remember one day I realized that I do not need it anymore and gradually within months I decreased by a quarter pill, the stopped with no issues. I can't remember if I stopped from a quarter pill (12,5 mg) or went down to 1/8 pill (6,25 mg), but probably from a quarter pill. I had a few brain zaps maybe the first few days, but that's all I remember. I was not new to brain zaps, if I did not take my daily dose on time in the morning, I also got them. Originally I started taking it for social integration issues and mild ticks. I was absolutely drug free for 15 years, had no anxiety or depression issues. I also have an active social life, although being an introverted type I tend to have fewer friends but they are really close. I also have a daily and really good connection with my family. I have to admit, I live a stress free life, no job for 6 years, no girlfriend for 8 years. I know it's not normal, but I was okay with it and it might have been only because I'm really lazy. When I had a job I was working at a multinational company and was quite successful, promoted twice within 3 years but I did not find myself comfortable in the last position, got mild anxiety and ticks again and quit. Never really found the balance between work and life. So in the last 15 years I was perfectly fine, no anxiety or depression, except a little bit when I left my job. I admit, my life is far from perfect, but I was okay with it. I did the El Camino pilgrimage this year the second time, the first time I did was a big milestone in my life, I changed job after that and lost a lot of weight, I was really obese. This year I had the same aim, to lose weight (got obese again) & and to change my lifestyle and find a new job. This year I was really unlucky and got Covid after two weeks on the El Camino, rested a week but was able to continue and successfully finished it. Back home, I had a really good friendship for 4 years with one of my neighbour. She is much older than me. She has a lovely personality, the always happy type. We were kinda soulmates since his husband died 4 years ago, that's when I got to know her. We were really close, was always able to talk about anything and we talked & met every day. On the Camino I thought a lot about, why not extend our friendship a little bit with some extra benefits. I know we never thought of each other like that, but I know she likes me a lot, me too, so shy not. At first she refused my approach, I got her too sudden. I asked for a few weeks break so I can process the refusal which she took very heavily. I promised that we will not lose each other, I just need a little time. After 3 weeks (in which she wrote me every day, even though I asked her to give me time), I contacted her again and everything seemed to be normal, soulmates again. I just needed time to process the refusal, but did not have anxiety or anything like that. But as we became friends again (was really strange at the first few times), we started talking a lot again and we both fell in love with each other. Unexpected twist, ha? Unfortunately we both talked about our past and she did a little bit too much. As it turned out, she had quite a colourful sex life when she was young and she shared too much details. I probably have a mild retroactive jealousy OCD, because of a childhood trauma when my father almost left my mother for another woman & also because of my own similar trauma at age 25 when it turned out that the girl who I thought was the love my life slept with half of my friends. She defended that "we were on a break" at the times and now she only wants me, but I was never able to forgive her and broke up after a year or so. So back to the present. Probably all together because my convenient lifestyle seemed to change drastically, the fear if our new romantic connection will ruin our soulmate thing with my neighbour, the burden that we can't act as a couple as she is much older than me, and she telling too much about her past got me a nice breakdown. I only experienced a breakdown like this, when I got to know slowly about my ex love of my life missteps. That only lasted for 2 weeks, at the time I was still on Zoloft though. This time I was almost not able to eat for 2-3 days and had really high anxiety. I went to a psychiatrist who put me on 3 x 0,25 mg Xanax. That corrected me in about a week, but we had a few jealousy fights which always set me back to high anxiety. Very interestingly, usually only the mornings were really bad, by the evening I was the loving guy I wanted to be. But the jealousy fights always set me back really hard. At the same time I was really angry with myself, as the stories she told me was like 20-30 years ago, they still bothered me. Now I know that this is a kind of OCD, best treated with ERP and I probably will be able to get through it. It was just these stories were new to me, also probably mixed with a little Madonna-***** complex. I was able to guess that she likes sex (that's why I tried her the first time), so that was not a surprise for me, but hearing some exact stories was still too much. On my last setback to anxiety I go so desperate, that I decided to start Zoloft again. I started with only half a pill (25 mg) and took it for 11 days. From the 3rd to 9th day I felt like salad/zombie. I had diarrhea and felt like I'm out of my body. Had insomnia, woke up like 4-5 times & night sweats. I also reacted really harsh to any emotions. I did not leave my flat and only felt apathy. I think this was the time when my soulmate realized that I have a real problem. By the 11th day my side effects kinda faded, but I also felt totally emotionally numb and & light depression, apathy. This was on Christmas day, I just had the strength to visit my family. Retroactive jealousy also disappeared, but also the love. I felt nothing. This is when I decided that this is not for me. I'm a very emotional person with high empathy, I don't want to lose it. Also this is when I found your page and decided that antidepressants are just not worth it. The next five days I took only a quarter pill, then stopped. After the dose reduction I got mild anxiety the first 3 days, then nothing. Still in apathy though, almost no kraft to do anything during the day. Now I'm on my 6th day of not taking Zoloft and it seems something started. I got stomach ache, mild anxiety and still in apathy. I'm still taking the 3 x 0,25 mg Xanax (2 months now), will taper that only after everything okay with Zoloft. And of course I will taper much slower than Zoloft, although I hope 2-3 months is not a long time & my dose is really low. I took the Zoloft tapering advice from Adele Framer: https://www.quora.com/I-have-stopped-taking-50mg-of-sertraline-after-10-days-will-I-get-any-withdrawal-symptoms Sorry if this got a little long, it felt good to write it down. My family knows about my 'drug' situation and they are supportive but I did not tell them about my new romantic relationship. She is also supportive, but does not really understand what I'm going through. She just wants back my old myself, but understands I need time. Got a few questions: 1, What are the chances that the stomach ache, mild anxiety & apathy are Zoloft withdrawal effects? Although I had apathy since I started it. I took Zoloft for 16 days altogether, 11 days half pill, 5 days quarter pill. This is my 6th day of not taking it at all, so 5 half life times past. I want to avoid reinstating Zoloft at all cost. 2, What are the chances that when I started Zoloft, from the 3rd to 9th day feeling like a zombie/salad was an Adverse Reaction? Do we have an estimate around how many ppl are affected by this in percentage? Although, I took Zoloft before, that was a long time ago, my body is older now. 3, If you have any other insight or advice on my situation, I would be grateful.

Hi everyone, My name is Audrey and I’m currently in month 9 of protracted withdrawal from stopping 12.5 mgs of sertraline cold turkey for a panic disorder. I’ve been using this forum for months as support to check symptoms/giving me peace of mind and it’s been a god send. I took sertraline on and off for 3 years. I currently am suffering with every symptom imaginable still - some days better than others. Lots of Dysautonomia, heat intolerance, sleep issues, anxiety, POTS symptoms, pounding heart, you name it. I was a hypochondriac before withdrawal happened so this time has not been kind to my nervous system. I know one day I will heal but sometimes it’s so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m 30 and feel like I could be 75+ some days. Here’s to a healing year in 2024!

Hello all, I'm currently stuck in Effexor side effect hell ever since I decided to take a higher dose of 75 mg a few months ago. Took the dose for almost a month and felt awful, so my psychiatrist decided to taper off entirely with Prozac, it failed badly and I ended up in the hospital with suicidal thoughts and extreme anxiety. I didn't even stop taking it, I was on 37.5 mg (immediate release). They decided to up my dose to 150 mg in the psych ward, couldn't do anything but comply. Got sent home, felt alright for a few days but the side effects have come back. Feel horribly restless, anxious, agoraphobic, and what have you. Have had some panic attacks as well. I've become non functional. Is it too late to revert to a lower dose? I've been on this dose for a bit more than 2 weeks at this point and have been in and out of my psychiatrist more than I can count lately, so she probably doesn't want to see me anytime soon. What should I do? I'm also taking Risperidone (they started giving it to me in the hospital) and got my psych to give me 0.25 mg of Xanax in case of any panic attacks if that means anything.

Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.

**TW: mental health/“s” Hi all, My name is Sarah and I’m a lifelong AD user and have used benzos for 10+ years. Decided to be an idiot in a state of panic & quit both meds CT. Scared of being judged but everyone here seems nice & people on Benzos Buddies have been so kind. Current prescription: 2 mg Xanax XR/day 100 mg Zoloft/day Quit cold turkey 1 months ago & having awful withdrawal - severe anxiety/panic, neuropathy/crawling ants sensation in limbs, cannot concentrate, restless, suicidal ideation, SEVERE tinnitus/zapping in ears, brain zaps (separate from ears), etc. Went to Dr way too late (around 21 days in) and he would not discuss taper. Wanted me to reinstate no changes except dropping to 1 mg Xanax XR. Said I wasn’t withdrawing despite vomiting for days straight at the beginning. Said you can’t go though long withdrawal no such thing - tried to explain but was told I’d need to find a new Dr if I don’t reinstate as planned. Don’t blame bill entire I was non compliant and I’ve messed up w meds before. Was uncomfortable w/ his plan so made appt w new Dr. Problem is soonest appt is 8/31 - I should have tried harder to find someone else that had sooner appts. Psychiatrists are usually booked about as you all know but I should have tried. Have gotten variety of responses regarding reinstating benzos. Some say reinstate/taper, some say don’t get back in bc it’s been a month & kindling is a issues and you will have to go through withdrawal again w/ taper and it might not help symptoms would even make worse. Was told to post here regarding Zoloft since it’s an SSRI. Does anyone mind sharing their knowledge on pros/cons of reinstating and safest say to do it? Regret ever starting it was on Prozac and I was fine but experienced acoustic trauma which has left me housebound and my meds weren’t keeping up w increased anxiety. Went against junk guy and switched to Zoloft. I think it might have had role in spiking my tinnitus to insane levels when I quit. Might have been the benzos too. Was desperate for relief so I switched. Should have found another solution. Upset that no Dr said anything about me being on these meds so long. Had no idea Xanax was built for short term - why did they let me stay on and even increased my dose w/ no warning!! Thanks everyone, and I truly appreciate you and any advice you have. Afraid this will never end and I’m on the edge of losing it. Already housebound now it’s 100x worse. It’s self induced torture and I’ll never forgive myself for the CT. I KNEW BETTER. Best, Sarah

Hi everyone! I've been looking at this website for a few months and finally decided to actually use it. I'm one various meds: fluoxetine 30mg, reboxetine 2.5mg, and xanax 0.25/0.5mg. I would like to at least cut down on the fluoxetine because of the sexual side effects. I've tried to do a few months ago by going down to 25mg (from 30), but after a month a felt litterally physically sick, weak, etc. So I got myself an oral syringe and from tomorrow morning I planning to take a 20mg tab + 7mg of home-made liquid = 27mg, a reduction of 10%. I will do so for a month and see how it goes. I will keep the reboxetine and xanax at present levels.

As a 60 yo woman I took a hard look at my past life of various antidepressants since 1981 inevitably winding up with a 40 year RX drug habit, over weight and in pain. I'm active and eat health following an anti inflammatory diet w/ very little dairy or gluten and was just stuck physically. June 6th 2023 I made the decision to do a hard reset and stop My high dose Paxil and Deseryl and Xanax, not taper. As you'd expect the following week was of your typical physical drug withdrawal response, insomnia, loss of appetite, diaphorsis etc. What I didn't expect was that in the second week I started to feel an undeniable amount of strength returning, muscle coordination improvement and lack of pain. A high akin to a mushroom trip with heightened senses of pleasure, euphoria and an overwhelming sense of calm. I feel awake for the first time in decades. No unwanted thoughts or emotions, I have 40 years of coping skills and cognitive behavioral therapy in my arsenal. My gut health was the first to return to normal - there was No more bloating , constipation or abdominal pain. The chronic pain I'd been suffering with limiting my ADLs was GONE! And remains that way. I now have the flexibility of my teenage self and am back to practicing yoga on the floor with relatives ease. It's almost as if every cell in my being is undergoing a rebirth and is new again. The only side effect I have found unpleasant is scattered facial numbness which I'm hoping will ease its way back to normal as well. The 'electrical shocks' were an interesting side effect , it feels as though the nerves in my body are awaking again for the first time and I feel great. It's only been 20 days and I feel newborn and loving it... Finding this site has been a relief. There is No Support available for Antidepressant Withdrawl. It is not even discussed in the Healthcare industry. To entertain this thought process is considered non complainant , a 'behavioral' abnormality. I am in control of my mind, my body and my senses for the first time in my life ❤️

Hello there everybody, I am Dara. Forgive my English, I grew up in Europe and not my first language is English. So I was on SSRI and other meds after being scare of pandemic and not wanting to leave house. So for two years I was on Lexapro and sometimes Xanax. I try other meds like Wellbutrin because Lexapro made me not interested in physical with my husband. But after I stop, have hed zap, headache, but still function. Few months later, I feel very strange, like I can feel no joy or love and thing no working right. I try maca, I try tea, I try yoga. Nothing happens and I get very scared and anxiety. i try other supplement that makes me very sick and not sleep and have tremor. I go to hospital, they put on more meds saying anxiety is much more bad, and I was on a few things for a month before having something like can't sit down at night and again no sleep and feel very weird like I am so angry and dark. I stop those meds and just stay on sleep med not benzo sleep med, but new one Dayvigo and Doctor add beta blocker. Things seem better, then again no sleep, and i worry so, stop Dayvigo. It was okay and I feel good, then bad again, but now, things seem to be more okay. Like a few weeks I felt more good and even happy. Sleeping some. Still no passion and not me, but can be calm and okay and do other things. Then some nights very bad, no sleep and scared. But don't want to change any more. So i am on Inderal- 60 mg. I been doing just okay enough to feel okay. Not working, not loving, but alive and getting better bit more. Not every day better, but looking back, trend is better like stock market go up even with dips sometimes. I okay I feel more regular, even though not me, so good, i can get better. Good enough for me for now. But lately i am very scared about other things happening to stop getting good and don't know what to do. Yesterday I got small punctor in my heel from furnutire staple on couch. It went in heel, I jump up and say OW and look at foot to see small drop of blood. So I wash and clean and call my doctor. He say last Tetanus was more than 10 years before. So I worry now, do I get this innoculation or not because it was not outside and not rusty but also I don't know. Doc says could do either way, get it not get it. I don't know. I don't drink alcohal, I eat pretty healthy foods. But I don't know what else is problem for this sichuation. I didn't think supplements make big problem and they did. I didn't think withdrawl was a thing and it was. So now I don't know- inoculation can make me feel worse and withdrawal again? I also worried about tetans! Don't want either thing or nother bad thing to happen again. I just need to get better. My question is, what to do about things like tetans inoculation and avoiding other things to get better. I look here for experience, but only few people mention tetanus and some okay and some not. i have this akethesia before, this insomnia, nerve issue, low feeling of void, and don't want to go back there now things bit better here and there. Any advise? ALso, I don't have regular menstruation. Few months nothing. Now, I got yesterday and I noticce week before felt worse again, like going crazy sometimes and feeling like worse times from before. So if i get inoculation I don't know what is withdrawal inoculation or period or all. Danke - Dana

Hello- My name is Emily. I'm almost 27 & have been on the Celexa generic, Citalopram for close to 11.5 years. I was originally prescribed the drug as a young teen for major depressive disorder & severe anxiety disorder. Through therapy, time, & the edge the drug took off, I recovered. I have had seasons of depression over the last 10+ years, but never reaching the level of despair I consistently experienced as a teen. Within the last 5 years, I've tried to get off Citalopram twice before (once via tapering with my PCP & once cold turkey on my own) & I've been unsuccessful with both due to the intense withdrawal symptoms (brain zaps, migraines, tiredness, dark thoughts, etc.) when I reached a low dosage (0-20 mg). Through what I've learned about SSRIs, my psychological stability, prolonged time on the drug, & young age, I desire to get off Celexa once at for all, however, I need help. I don't feel that the medical professionals in my life that can support me well through this process given my prior failed attempts. Please help me safely & effectively get off this drug. Summarized Details I'm a 27 year old female & I've been on Citalopram for 11.5 years. I'm only on Citalopram (40 milligrams) & I have currently started the process of tapering & I've been on 30mg for the last 3 weeks. I'm nervous to decline to 20mg. Initially, I tried to jump from 40 to 20mg (I had done this in the past without an issue) & had brain zaps so I cut the pills to take 30mg. Over the past 11.5 years (2012-2023), I've toggled between taking 20 & 40mg. I have used Xanax "as needed" in the past but haven't used it in a long time. The longer I've been on the drug at 40mg, the more difficult it is for me to decrease milligrams. I've really struggled when going down to 20mg Please advise if there is any more info you need.

Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

Hi everyone I am trying to navigate through this new group. I am not doing well. Lol I am 53 . Was in great health before taking an antidepressant. I have been struggling since 09/2020. I have been searching for help. I have a list of issues since I Went off all antidepressants. I am wondering if anyone has had issues with no reflexes ? Such as gag, cough, or blink? Or not being able to feel pain?

Hello, I am Adriana and I am 32 years old. It all started with severe headaches almost 10 years ago. I have been taking Cipralex 5 mg/day, Lamictal 100 mg/day, and Xanax 3 mg/day for almost 4 months ( November 2022). The major issue is that I have been trying different antidepressants for 4-5 years, anxiolytics, and other pills ( Depakine, Carbamazepine, Gabapentine, Painkillers...etc). My headaches started suddenly and they were severe, I lost a lot of weight and was tired all the time. At the hospital, the doctors treated me for migraines after a series of investigations ( I was diagnosed wrong with multiple sclerosis), seeing that the pain did not disappear, I started to be afraid that I have a disease that the doctors could not find, I had to resign from my job. After 3 months of searching for a disease, I still felt horrible: headaches, laying in bed all day, being afraid of death, of going out, and feeling extremely tired. Then my parents decided it was time to go to a psychiatrist. I was first prescribed Cipralex 10 mg/day and Bromazepan when needed. Then the panic attacks appeared, also the majority of side effects: trembling, insomnia, nausea, and so on. After a week the doctor decided to give me Rivotril and sleeping pills to counterattack the side effects. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the exact amount of Rivotril given, but it was a small dose. But it did not go well as the doctor promised, and after 2 months I was the same. She changed the treatment with another antidepressant, and it began to be frustrating so I decided to find someone "better". The next doctor gave me Anxiar ( when needed and) Carbamazepine along with Cipralex. My headaches started to be even worse. I started to take strong painkillers, I could not sleep at all during the night. I was treated for sinusitis too. I started going to a psychologist, I explained the whole situation and he sent me with the MRI to a neurologist to check if it is neurocysticercosis. I started to be more and more afraid. For almost 4 years I have been prescribed all types of antidepressants and anxiolytics, painkillers, sleeping pills, and so on. I had lots of ups and downs but the headaches didn't go away. The doctors started to check if I had: epilepsy, Lyme disease, neurocysticercosis, encephalitis, and meningitis, so I spent a lot of time in hospitals. Then I found a psychiatrist that prescribed me Paroxetine 20 mg/ day and Xanax 0,25 mg/ 3 times per day. After a month I started to feel a bit better, I was working and having a "life" again. Then the tolerance to Xanax appeared. I started to take more and more. The maximum amount given by the doctor was 4 mg/ day, but being an addict at that time I went to another doctor to prescribe me more pills. In 2 years I reached a maximum dose of 9-10 mg per day. For me, they were like an escape from all the things I felt: panic attacks, headaches, insomnia. After a while, they did not work anymore, so I started to withdraw them alone, along with the antidepressant. In 2 weeks I removed them completely and in a few days, I got to the hospital for weaning. In the hospital, they made some analyses and I was suspected of pituitary adenoma, this was the moment when I started to be nervous and to have breakdowns. After multiple investigations, it turned out to be a false alarm. My psychiatrist increased the dose of Paroxetine to 40 mg/day and gave me only 4 mg of Xanax. I had more pills so I took 7 mg, then 6 mg of Xanax per day. I have to write an entire novel to explain everything: how I felt, how I was treated, my breakdowns, my ups, and downs, investigations, etc. 2 years ago I started to decrease the amount of Xanax from 6 mg to 3.5 mg/day today. My psychiatrist suggested multiple times hospitalization to withdraw all the pills, specifically Xanax, but I was too afraid to do it and also the conditions in the hospital are horrible. Although I repeat myself, the headaches were severe, they still are. When the breakdowns were worse and more often, I found another psychiatrist. After so many years of taking Paroxetine, I had to withdraw it in 2 weeks, so I could get back on Cipralex, but I mentioned that it caused me in the past severe anxiety, suicidal thoughts, no friends, no job, and no relationships. I was lying in bed all day watching movies, tv series, eating, sleeping, and gaining weight, feeling horrible, miserable, a shadow, a victim, I did not want to live anymore, but paradoxically I am afraid of death. I forgot to mention that I have 5 years of taking almost every day Paracetamol. Additionally, I was prescribed Lamictal, from 25 mg/ day to 100 mg/ day, and 3 mg/ day of Xanax. I have been diagnosed with sinusitis and it needs surgery, so I hope some of the pain will go away. I am supposed to increase the dose of Lamictal, but I am having a rash, and puffy, red, itchy eyes. I need help, I need advice. I do not know what I have to do, withdraw all the pills or just some of them. Taking them is not the solution after so many years. Maybe some of you had a similar situation and can help me. Thank you a lot!

Hi all! New here, but I have been lurking this forum for a few weeks. I will share my story... I will first note that don't really have a medical history of anything except for lots of physical stuff - sprained ankles, torn muscles, broken bones, herniated discs, etc as I WAS an athlete (now I'm mostly house and bed bound). No history of chronic illness, auto-immune, mental illness except some anxiety and bouts of insomnia here and there. I don't think I've ever even had a panic attack. 30F. August 2022: I got LASIK. Sept - Oct 2022: Moved cross country and LASIK outcome (had residual prescription) made me really stressed, so I wasn't sleeping well. I took one Xanax pill 0.25mg (smallest dose) before bed on and off for a few weeks. It wasn't really helping my sleep and made me feel really fatigued during the day so I stopped. Developed light sensitivity along the way. Nov 2022: I was (mis) diagnosed with cornea neuralgia, and given Nortripyline for eye pain. I now realize my pain was caused by an ointment I was instructed to use, not nerve damage. Light sensitivity might have been caused by Xanax, unsure about that one. Two days before taking my first dose of Nortrip, I took 0.25mg of Xanax to help me sleep again. That was the last time I ever took Xanax. Then for the Nortrip, I was instructed to take 10mg every three days, titrating up to 50mg. I took 10mg for four days, and was relatively fine. Looking back, I had some side effects like POTS, constipation, and inability to feel my bladder was full. On the fifth and sixth day, I went up to 20mg. My feet started tingling. I was instructed to bump back down by my doctor. Went back to 10mg. Tingling went away. Thought I was supposed to go back up, so I did. Back to 20mg for two tdays and then tingling came back along with crazy limb jerking. Like, both my legs flew up a foot in the air while I was in bed. I messaged my doctors, wasn't given clear instructions, so I quickly tapered down to 10mg and then 0mg out of fear. I thought I'd be fine because I was on the medication for 11 days. Did an intense workout, which triggered all the symptoms I had on the medication the next day. Kept working out because I wasn't sure what was going on and doctor said it was ~AnXiEty~. Since then, all went downhill and I have developed a laundry list of 40+ symptoms, including tardive dyskinesia (I was inspired by moderator's WiggleIt's story, hence named myself MoveIt). The TD started when I took a Zrytec. I immediately had an adverse reaction to it with stabbing pains all over my legs, got a big brain zap, and then my legs started moving by themselves. Over a few weeks it progressed into full body flails and vocal spasms. A week or so later, I took a melatonin and made it worse, my hands started opening and closing. Now I seem to be acquiring new "movements" every 1-2 weeks. I have involuntary full body flails, tongue sticks out of my mouth, eye blinks, hands open and close, feet tap, ,face scrunch, lips purse. My other symptoms have been getting worse as well and my threshold to triggering them is getting smaller. I am finding I can't even walk fast without triggering a "wave" and then feeling like I have the flu + hungover + extra noise sensitive the next day, similar to CFS I guess. Almost all my symptoms are physical (for now...). Now I realize my nervous system is super fragile and am careful with medications and supplementation. In case helpful, here's the list of my symptoms as of today. I am sure I am missing some... Insomnia Flickering lights when eyes open, like I’m blinking Hypnogogic Hallucinations Flashes of light before sleeping Arc flashes in peripheral of eyes (checked with retina doc twice, nothing wrong) Strobe light effect in dark Light / Noise sensitivity Tinnitus Random ear noises, such as car crashing or fluttering Ear pain Brain zaps Randomly feeling bouts of terror when falling asleep Stop breathing while sleeping Chest tightness/pain Cortisol rushes Heart palpitations Can hear heart pounding Tingling Pins and needles everywhere (including in mouth and tongue) Burning patches Stabbing nerve throughout body / face Muscle pain? Or dull nerve pain, unsure Tremors Hypnic jerks Dizziness Jaw jerks Constipation Inability to feel full bladder Missed every menstrual cycle Exercise intolerance Headache Fatigue I haven't really seen anyone on here with similar dosage or reactions like me. I see patterns if I combine stories like WiggleIt's, those with ADR, and those with exercise intolerance. I can't even say I can 100% relate to windows and waves. I will have a random cluster of symptoms anyday, nothing seems constant except for the tingling and the progression of symptoms. I'm also not even so sure I had an adverse reaction because I am now learning the side effects I had were actually normal on the medication, and that a lot of people "push through" and it eventually subsided. I am also unsure if being on Xanax so shortly before had some adverse effect. Also did I "kindle" myself with the Xanax by taking it on and off before the Nortrip?

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

I’ve been off Nardil for four months now. The primary symptoms I get are trembling in my legs, nausea, lack of appetite and free-floating anxiety. For the first several weeks after I stopped taking Nardole, this occurred pretty much daily. After about two months, I got can do what I would call my first big window and did pretty well for about three weeks. then, for no apparent reason, I went back into a very strong wave for about another week. I came out of that again and had another three good weeks. I went for a long walk last Sunday, and by Monday I was backed into another wave. I’m slowly struggling to get out of this wave. I take a number of nutrients including magnesium taurine and Catacolacalm. I also take 10 mg of propranolol three times a day. When things get really bad, I will take up to .5 mg Xanax. Today I tried .5 mg Klonopin. Does anybody have experience with those medications and any advice? Other questions First, are there other nutrients or supplements or any other factors that can help reduce the symptoms? Second, is it too late to go back onto taking a small dose of Nardil? does anyone have experience with going back on Nardole after coming off of it? I’m not sure I want to try this, but hearing if anyone did it successfully could be useful. Third what causes these waves to come and go? If I can prevent taking actions to create the waves, maybe I could eventually pass through all of this. Any advice would be welcome. This is really a long struggle. I’d like to hear from people who have gone off of Nardole successfully. Thanks BobB

Original topic title before shortening: Need help in reinstating a low maintenance dose of Lexapro after a “honeymoon period” or an unsuccessful taper Hello, Between 2000 and 2005, I took three different ADs in succession - Zoloft, fluoxetine, and then Paxil. I also took Xanax for a few months and then stopped almost abruptly when I started feeling better on AD. I did not quite feel Xanax withdrawal probably because the AD effect kicked in during this time. From 2006, I was switched to Lexapro 20 mg. It worked well for a several years but around 2015, I felt quite detached from the world and did not feel like myself. So I started looking for natural alternatives to ADs. I started fast taper with the help of St. John’s Wort, Niacin, and Vitamin D. It went quite well till 2.5 mg, but after that, I started feeling withdrawal symptoms which were quite intense. I increased the dose a little and tried to taper again but could not go beyond 2.5 mg. I do not remember my tapering schedule but it was relatively fast as compared to the recommendation of SA experts. I did not know about SA guidelines of 10% reduction at that time - I wish I knew earlier. Then I started seeing homeopaths who helped me with the remaining 2.5 mg taper. The remedies that helped were Acid Phos, Aurum Met, Kali Phos, and Avena Sativa. I started feeling really good and slowly got rid of the remaining 2.5 mg of Lexapro. I started feeling myself again and though that Lexapro was behind me. After about two months, I faced an unpleasant event which brought my anxiety and depression back with full force. It could be a delayed withdrawal after a “honeymoon period” as some people have described here. Now I have been trying to reinstate Lexapro but it is not going very well. I have gone back and forth between 2.5 mg and 1.25 mg but I have not been able to make myself stable again. During this acute phase, homeopathic remedies only helped a little like Kali Phos but I guess these remedies don’t work well in a stormy situation. I am occasionally also taking Xanax 0.25 mg once or twice a day in an effort to get Lexapro settle back into my system. But I am feeling very bad. I have sleep anxiety. I wake up tired and restless. I sometimes wake up half an hour after falling asleep. I can’t sleep in the dark. I feel lethargic and devoid of energy. I now feel anxious about future like never before. Past events sometimes comes into my mind very vividly which increases my anxiety and heart beat. In such moments, I have to get out of the house and go for a drive or walk. Now, every time I take Lexapro whether 2.5 mg or 1.25 mg, I feel uncomfortable pressure or constriction on my chest usually after about one hour which usually goes away in a few hours. This happens even at this relatively low dose. I read somewhere that Lexapro messes with the electrical signals of the heart. So taking Lexapro makes me sick but not taking it makes me even sicker. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My current life situation is not such that I feel that I can completely get off of Lexapro at the moment, but I want to settle on a low maintenance dose so that I can feel a bit more stable. My homeopath has now prescribed Ignatia Amara for palliative purpose but it is not quite helping at the moment. I know that if I go to a psychiatrist at this point, he/she would switch me to a different AD along with a cocktail of other drugs, which of course I do not want. I would appreciate any help in trying to achieve a low maintenance dose of Lexapro using the help of natural remedies. Thanks a lot.

Hi there, I have been through polydrug hell, suffered insomnia after medical shock then given host of sleep meds but believe they caused paradoxical breathing or possibly withdrawals maybe from mix, was given zolpiclone and Xanax and no in breath when going into deeper sleep and would wake constantly? Has anyone experienced this? Continued and given mirtrazapine at morning time! Then amitriptyline which caused urinary retention stopped both, no sleep still so kept on Xanax and zopiclone, then stopped and the same scenario no in breath? If anyone knows what this is? I was then given Xanax to keep me asleep, never more than 1mg ar night only, would you have withdrawals from that if just at night? Panic attacks as no sleep only an hour or so, myoclonus, can’t sleep during day time jerks hypnic. Then started sertraline and hyperacusis started and Xanax still. Then went to psych hospital as wasn’t sure what was happening? Was treated horrifically told agitated depression, never had depression in life, we thing misdiagnosed badly, by power tripping psych as I challenged that. Given Effexor, then clonazapam at night 1mg kept pushing Effexor up, no benefit. I was so worried as they were leaving me on clonazapam, I was only taking at night, day was cut cold Turkey as I was too sleepy. No weaning. Then told take more at night! But got trazadone added 100mg and cut clonazapam to .5 from 1mg, hyperacusis back as had gone but worse than when went in! Effexor pushed up more, phergen added night and clonazapam cut to .25mg from .5mg, Effexor up at 150mg, hyperacusis unbelievable now! Odd as if was depression should the Effexor now get rid of hyperacusis? No benefit. Then told take more, 187 and I couldn’t sleep at all. Myoclonus so bad. Was left even though had bruising everywhere ignored amongst so many other symptoms panic attacks so bad, let out as insurance up, left in lurch, cut to 150 Effexor then 112 and hyperacusis worsening. Got public psych but she said thinks misdiagnosed but no disgnosis and said cut Effexor to 75 and hyperacusis was too much to bear I had to go back to 112.5 mg. What is going on, I’ve never dealt with drugs like this before and don’t know what’s going on and very bad care here, told hyperacusis ENT thing but ruled out but ignored. Hypnic jerks, sleep not great at all, panic so bad in morning feel in total trauma ptsd all time freeze mode. Treated so badly. No info given on anything when in hospital just ignored and wouldn’t wean me off clonazapam yet told me Im on addictive meds now for life! Can anyone help me on hyperacusis and what’s going on breathing at night and hypnic jerks. Breathing is separate than jerks, no in breath in deeper sleep stage. I am at wits end and no life. Left without help. Clonazapam Now out of stock. I’m on it still what left .25mg trazadone and melatonin now might, wake up in horrors. Is it possibly to have withdrawals daily? If low dose? I’m so confused. Pharmacist said possible, my nervous system in total disarray. The 112 to 75 was too much. Too fast just cut fast. Any help on how to cut as tried opening beads out but even that hyperacusis was getting worse? Please help me make sense of this all? Thank you. Is it trauma PTSD, withdrawals, as I am worse now than ever, do get some sleep which is good thing. But wake in horrors. All day panic attacks constantly no let up unless lying down. BP all over place. Get so weak. Have thyroid condition and period issues, fibroid and lot of blood loss monthly. Skin is so dry. Diarrhea all time, gastro issues, reflux. In such panic I just need some advice what May be going on? Thanks so much

Hi, sorry, I don’t have a signature yet. I am in the process of titrating off Lurasidone and at times the withdrawals are horrific. With that in mind I would LOVE to hear some positive stories of people coming off this med. I started on 40mg 7 or 8 years ago when given a misdiagnosis of bipolar 2. I am currently taking 12mg a day (as of 7 days ago). I’ve been dropping by 2mg each time since I got down to 20mg. I tried three times to come off this med much faster and failed terribly. The drop from 16-14mg was very difficult and this recent drop has me feeling hellish! I think I may need to reduce the amount I decrease by a little. Any advice is more than welcome! thanks

Hello everybody, First, I aprpeciate this resource! I started with panic disorder 5 years ago. I was started on Zanax in the hospital, and I am still angry about it, or at least about having zero information about what I was getting myself into. Thankfully I quit after a few months on it. The insomnia was terrible but my sleep recovered to a tolerable pattern after a couple of weeks. I also started Lexapro at 10 mg while I was still taking Zanax. And I started running and exercising three times a day for an hour each. I am still convinced that the exercise made it possible for the panic attacks to completely resolve after a few months. but then I had a new panic attack after months of not having any. My doctor increased my Lexapro dose to 20 mg and stayed there. I have also been getting very good treatment for my C-PTSD/developmental trauma (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and Internal Family Systems/parts work) and a I am doing much much better. I want to quit Lexapro because I think I no longer need it since my anxiety/panic has resolved, and because it has the side effect of giving me GERD which I also have to manage with medication. And also because my sleep patterns could never recover to a fully normal pattern. I now learned that SSRIs interact with the circadian rhythm, and Lexapro in particular does so negatively. So, I blame my sleep problems on Lexapro. I started using the sleep app RISE, and realized that my circadian rhythm, isn't much of a rythm at all. I feel like I will only get back my normal sleep after quitting Lexapro. All the more reason to get off of it. I am super upset at the doctors for increasing my dose to such a high amount, now that I read that lexapro is so much more potent than other drugs at similar dosages. 20 mg is called "hefty"! a 5 mg increase would have been much more prudent and I am not even a doctor! I started by shaving off a small amount from the 20 mg a few months ago. I used a roughened glass nail file, that I could be very precise and gradual with. I finally reached a 25% reduction, and since I started having insomnia symptoms, I started looking for more information and found this forum. I read some of the posts and just asked my doctor today to switch me to the liquid version, so I can continue a more smooth and precise tapering process. I referred her to this website so she can also benefit from this information. I plan to increase my dosage a little bit again to see if the insomnia resolves and then I will stay there for a couple of months. I also started having stomach pain, and now I wonder if it is caused by the taper. That is hard to tell given my food sensitivities. I have gone back to exercising more again, since it was so helpful a few years ago. I am following the RISE app which makes working with the circadian rhythm very easy. I plan on being very patient with myself otherwise, and this website resource is incredibly encouraging and reassuring. I also take Melatonin for that. What I learned from this website so far that is an eye opener is the 3KIS principle, and is how incredibly important it is to be stable in all aspects of health. I didn't realize that before. So, I will make sure that my exercise and supplement and med schedules as well as sleep (or time in dark and in bed, at least) are totally consistent. Which is hard when sleep is hard to come by, but now I am that much more motivated to actually lean into it with trust and patience. Given that I am struggling with sleep, I wonder about CBD. I have never tried any form of cannabis before. It may be a bad idea to combine a tapering with CBD which is new to my system and it violates the 3KIS principles, but I thought I'd ask to see what experience people have, if any. Thank you all!!

My history with medication started when I took a leave of absense from college in 2001, after my first semester. I moved back across the country, lived in a friend's dorm room, got a job, got an apartment, and decided to seek help for depression and trouble focusing. I was prescribed Ritalin. Over the years (see signature for meds), I was given meds for depression, sleep problems, ADHD, and eventually Bipolar II. In October of 2013, I left a job both over ethical concerns and because I wanted to work for myself. I lost access to the medications I was on at the time, though, because of an insurance SNAFU. By mid-2014, I was practically non-functional, though I was also trying new meds and working with a therapist. In 2015, I ended up unable to work, moving to my parent's home, and getting SSDI. Many of the meds I've tried since then (and before) gave me immediate adverse effects, or soon after I started taking them. In 2021, Lexapro was added, and that gave me constant nausea, but I was determined to stick it out. I had to use cannabis constantly in order to not feel like throwing up. Then, when I learned about laws in a couple states passing that explicitly allowed medical providers to deny care for "religious or ethical reasons," targeting queer people (I'm a trans* guy and gay), I threw temper tantrums like a two-year-old at both my therapist and mother for two days, and became extremely activated. At first I was ranting out of terror, and then angry at their lack of empathy. It was both called-for and out-of-line. Then began a flurry of activity. I felt like myself, and like I was developing good boundaries. I told people about many painful things from the past. I was also, in retrospect, not well, but when my APRN told me to stop taking Lexapro because "people say you've been acting out of character," I was livid, because I finally felt like myself again, and it was traumatizing to hear about those laws being passed and have people to tell me to calm down because it wasn't an immediate threat. I told her that sometimes when someone experiences something new, they act in a new way; it's objectively true. I don't know. I developed panic attack symptoms, had trouble regulating my body temperature, had more than the usual variations in energy level, and had a lot of sleep disturbances. My proprioception was often way off. I compulsively spent money, but in a way that made half-sense. A few months into the Lexapro, I developed some movement disorder symptoms, sort of only half-controllable unwinding stretching, triggered also by physical therapy for severe pain and stiffness in the right side of my neck. The stretching felt good, but then I got tight again. That was particularly weird. I often had very firm boundaries over the spring and summer, getting to the point of yelling when my concerns about my safety as a queer person were being thrown back in my face. Some people told me I was hard to follow, but others could follow me fine. All of my emotions were amplified. At one point I hit a wall with my fist in my mother's house, and dented it. I offered to fix it or pay to have it fixed, but that offer was rejected. In the fall, without prior warning, my family changed the locks on my place, and threw away whatever they thought was trash, and I lived in long-term Airbnbs until March. I somehow managed to close on a house in February, and started living in it in March. The place was indeed horrible, in terms of cleanlinees, but advance notice and dealing with it more directly would've been better. Of course, they don't know what my living spaces always look like. Throughout the winter and spring, I had migraines a lot of the time. In March of 2022, things got psychedelic. I've never done hallucinogens, actually. I've also never had any hallucinations or delusions... until maybe this stuff. I was in part wrapped up in fantasies about finding a way back to having my family in my life, and in part seeing patterns and thinking I had outsized influence on the world if I interacted with them right. I saw problems and became fixated on them. I was sometimes, in my thinking, straight-up delusional. I went for lots of drives, exploring patterns - real ones having to do with the development of the highway system - but why? I became very tuned-in to my emotional intelligence, and spent a lot of time dancing and acting to music, and feeling through the layers of meanings in the lyrics. I can't remember if I'd decided to stop/cut back the Xanax before or after this. In late March, I ran out of gas on the highway, without my phone, really only needed a tow truck, but since I didn't have anyone to call for help and was very amped up, I ended up involuntarily hospitalized in another state, with no way to reach anyone. First, I was in an emergency room, and got the bends very bad from something. I was lucid dreaming, and spinning around in the bed. They injected me with something, I don't know what. When I got to the hospital, I half-thought it was all a mistake and someone might come get me. I opted to be there for three days under my own power. Since I had no access to my meds, this lead to my going cold-turkey off of Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Adderall, Xanax, and Lexapro. No one evaluated me there, but they tried to get me to take something (wouldn't tell me what). I felt pretty much fine, but half-believed it must be some kind of elaborate prank, under the influence of drugs, trauma, or both. From then on, things got even weirder. I started to forget to pay bills, I became convinced there was something seriously wrong with the electricity in my home, and no consequences mattered. I had total blindness to how my actions affected others. In May, I again ended up needing a tow truck (the gearshift became disengaged), without my phone. I got extremely sick in the car, got a tow truck instead of a hospital this time, but got kicked out by the driver of the tow truck because of the smell. I had auditory and mild visual hallucinations, very "creative" thoughts, and ended up taking two weeks to get back home. I simply let the car go, bought another car (but got a ticket for driving without insurance and driving an unregistered vehicle, and now have a warrant out for me in another state), worked on it a little but lost focus and bought an even more messed-up vehicle, worked on that, and then stopped caring. I developed bad chemical sensitivity for a month or a few (even my skin barrier was weird), and had movement disorder symptoms spring up after exposure to chlorine, followed by lotion and CBD oil. Could also be psychological, in part. I got a big lump on my scalp, a rash on first the left and then the right side of my neck, ingrown hairs on my knees. I had to re-wash everything I'd washed at a laundromat. I'd have to make movements in response to sounds, or feel prickling or burning in my toes response to seeing certain people, or other unknown causes. It's still happening a bit. I trashed the office space I was renting, because I had increased sensitivity in my nerves, and thought there was something corrosive going on I needed to clean up with salt, baking soda, some natural cleaning supplies, and clean cat litter, but also couldn't focus, and ended up leaving behind a massive mess and giving the owner no notice, after being two weeks late with rent, after the guy I'd hired decided he wasn't going to stick around. I've had a lot of scary physical symptoms that felt like they could become blood clots or heart attacks, but those haven't happened for months. For a while I had so much tension in my trunk area, it felt like my pelvic bones were eating themselves, all prickly. I have more feeling on my left side than my right. Usually when I wake up, some part of one or both of my hands is numb. I had a lot of strong anxiety, on and off. There's a lot I've left out. These days, I'm dissociated and flat, but also have extreme avoidance behaviors, a different kind of anxiety. My frustration/obstacle tolerance is almost nothing. I don't have a temper about it, my brain just short-circuits. Pretty much I sit around smoking hand-rolled cigarettes, and drinking filtered water with ginger in it, thoughts about my family or others swirling around, wishing I could trust new people and/or had local friends. I wish I could hand power of attorney to someone and tell them what to take care of. If I can get started on something, I manage to change my address somewhere, or make a payment plan on a credit card, or do some small thing, like pre-rinse clothes in the sink. The stuff I paid to have packed and stored, whatever was at the apartment that wasn't thrown away, I haven't been able to face and has probably been thrown out for non-payment by now. I've been to a primary care doctor twice, and have an appointment with a neurologist in October. I got basic bloodwork done and was fine; tried to get a toxin or heavy metal panel done but couldn't. Probably what I thought was toxin exposure was in fact withdrawal stuff, though. I've been trying to find a therapist who I can get to without a car and who takes my Medicare plan, but no luck so far. As far as I can tell, what's happening is CPTSD, PTSD, and polypharmacy withdrawal interacting. As weird and bad as things are, it's not like they weren't often like this even before I was ever prescribed anything. For example, I've almost never been able to care about "self-care," unless it's to make sure I'm not judged or otherwise for another's benefit. I can see a lot of "self-sabotage" in many of the things I've done, pathological narcissistic acting-out, some victim/savior/persecutor dynamics, but it all seems a bit extreme for it to be "just" trauma.

2017 started 15mg mirtazapine 10/2021 increased to 30mg mirtazapine 9/2022 going to attempt starting my taper at 27mg mirtazapine Mirtazapine doesn't seem to do anything for me anymore. Initially I had it prescribed after a period of daily panic attacks for about 2 weeks which I had stopped with Xanax then used mirtazapine for long term stabilization. It was very effective at helping me sleep initially at 15mg. About a year ago constant panic attacks started again and my baseline anxiety was high, after trying various medications to calm down, I settled on upping my mirtazapine to 30mg and using hydroxyzine as needed. In the past I also used propranolol to reduce anxiety symptoms but I have quit using this medication after a few years. My baseline anxiety is still fairly high and I sometimes get panic attacks when doing certain things that have been repeated strong triggers for me. Therefore I have decided to stop using mirtazapine with the hopes of my emotions not being so dull anymore and to be able to lose weight finally as I have gained at least 15 pounds with it. I have had a lot of success with dealing with my anxiety through therapy and alternative methods and stopping any peaks with hydroxyzine which sometimes I don't take for months.

I'm weaning off cymbalta I've only been on it for about a month as it gave me a cough and severe chest tightness as well as neuropathy in my feet. Due to these effects I've weaned rather quickly about 2 months and today is my first day off completely after a week at 10ml I would've gone longer but the chest tightness was too much to bear. Anxiety is for sure picking up and I'm using .25 Xanax as needed which is less than 1 time a day since I try to fight my anxiety as much as possible. Any advice?

Hello, I am posting for my husband and I am new to the site and I am not too god at figuring out websites. If I am posting this wrong or in the wrong spot please let me know. My husband has dealt with depression for many years and went on antidepressants about 17 years ago. He started tapering off of Sertraline 100 mg 2 years ago he did it slowly we thought but just found out not slowly enough. It took him over a year to get off of it and he was off for 6 months completely when he couldn’t take the anxiety symptoms anymore. He can barely eat, sleep, or work. He’s lost 30 pounds and he is thin to begin with. This June he started taking Xanax 0.5 mg 3 times a day and Hydroxine 50 mg at night for sleep. This did not help much. As of July he has started ketamine treatments (3 so far but 2 of them seemed to intensify the anxiety) and he just returned to the Sertraline at 50 mg about a week ago. He’s never been very anxious before only depressed. We couldn’t understand why he was having these new symptoms. I just learned from a worker at a local natural health store when I was shopping for cbd oil that these symptoms are likely from being on the antidepressants for so many years and coming off too quickly. He told me the ketamine and going back on the medicine won’t work. I literally left the store in tears. At this point I just want him to find relief. My husband is suffering so much and has been for two years since he started tapering. It’s only gotten worse over time and I don’t know how to help him. It is so difficult to watch someone you love suffer. I am grateful for this site and would appreciate any advice on how to proceed. I honestly don’t know what we should do next. Do we keep going with the Ketamine? What does should he be on for the Sertraline? I don’t know where to begin to get him back to a normal life. Thank you in advance.