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  1. Hello. I was prescribed klonopin 25 yrs ago. Started to feel ill 5 years ago and started to taper. Made a ton of mistakes and tried meds that were supposed to help but did not. I was at .5mg three times a day Now down to 3/4 of a .5mg pill daily. I'm confused. I feel much worse than before I started to taper but I know updosing did not help. I fear 25 years of use has caused me to be damaged beyond repair. Not sure if in using this site correctly if anyone will see this. Thanks
  2. I've been tapering from 75 mg. zoloft since November, 2010. I was on 75 mg. for only about 6 weeks, I had increased from 50 which I had been taking for 13 years prior. I'd entered menopause, was irritable and anxious...no depression really, so my family doctor shoved some sample zoloft in my hand and said, try this, they are very mild, just like aspirin. Right! He said they were not addictive, very safe. I resisted at first, but then caved and tried it. The first year or two was just great. I was in love with zoloft. But after about two years, I tried to taper because I knew I shouldn't be on it long term and I was once again irritable and anxious. Doc advised fast taper over 4-6 weeks and I fell apart emotionally...crying, depresssed, raging, suicidal. He said my original symptoms returned and that I needed to go back on zoloft. These were not my original symptoms but he was the doc so I did what he advised. Also, my therapist at the time agreed with him. She said I'd have to take it for life. I really respected her because she did help me with a lot of childhood issues. But after a couple more years of no sexual feelings (I was newly married when I went on it), numbness, and overwhelming fatigue, I tried to go off again. I tried going slower on my own, but not slow enough because I ended up the same way as before. Just before I began my taper in Nov. 2010, my pdoc switched me to effexor for a month, did not work, then celexa, did not work, then up go 75 mg. zoloft from the 50 I'd been on for years. Then I began to read online and found information which illuminated the problem. So this attempt to taper is very slow. I'm at 7.5 mg. now. I've been tapering for 18 months at a rate of 10% or previous dose once every 3-6 weeks. But since I hit 10 mg. I've been tapering 5% previous dose. In my mind, I'm going at a snail's pace but still have days when I'm a total mess. Today I'm on day 10 at 7.5 mg. and am overwhelmed with anxious dread. Usually days 7-10 after a taper are the worst. I am losing my resolve. Just don't think I can make it like this for another year or more. More info: I'm retired....could not have worked while doing this. But I am functional. I go out, shop, make meals, travel, and do look forward to some things. Today that is not the case. Today my anxiety and feelings of dread are through the roof. Thankfully, I do have windows or I would have gone back to the doc begging for more drugs. Today, I can not remember any window that i ever had. It feels like i have always felt like this. Sometimes I wonder if my age, (I'm 65) is the reason why this taper is so hard. Maybe I'm too old to stop and will need to go back? Also wondering if the little sliver of zoloft that I am currently taking is really registering in my body. I'm wondering if I should just stop now? I know that 50 mg. zoloft is equal to 20 mg. paxil and some of the other ssri's. The 7.5 I'm on now is equal to 3 mg. of paxil or others like it. Do folks usually ditch at 3 mg. paxil? If I continue to taper the zoloft, I'll be on it for at least another year. And in the coming year, we are likely selling our house and moving to a new city. Ugh!!! I honestly don't think I go through with this type of major change feeling like I feel today. And am wondering if just stopping right now may help? Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.
  3. I had labyrinthectomy surgery late Feb 2023 for Meniere’s disease, and had to relearn balance and also cope with total hearing loss in one ear as well as realizing I could not work anymore and having daily anxiety over my health. Then I had a panic attack 03/19/2023 and went to ER. At the follow up to my ER visit, my PCP prescribed me 50 mg Sertraline and said it would take 6-8 weeks to have an effect. At 6 weeks I started having brain zaps as well as daily diarrhea. I tolerated it for a couple more weeks but asked PCP if I could stop taking it due to these side effects. He directed me to taper off by taking 25 mg a day of Sertraline for 2 weeks then 12.5 mg (half a tablet) for another 2 weeks. Today was the first day of no Sertraline and not only did I have brain zaps while driving, but I had vertigo while sitting at my computer. My ENT removed all the vestibular organs (semi circular canals) from my Meniere's-affected ear in February and told me it was physically impossible for me to have vertigo again after that, so this is very upsetting to me. I mainly want to know if the vertigo (which only lasted about 2-3 seconds unlike a Meniere's vertigo attack which could last 5-10 hours or so), is a side effect of Sertraline withdrawal. Maybe he is tapering me off too fast? I only took it for about 8 weeks. Will the vertigo and brain zaps stop? Thank you.
  4. Hi all, I have heard good things about this website and I’m hoping that it could be a valuable resource to help me make some informed decisions about what to do next after experiencing antidepressant withdrawal symptoms. Sinde July 2022 I have been prescribed SSRIs. My doctor first prescribed me Prozac, which I was on for two months, but I switched to Zoloft due to terrible insomnia caused by Prozac. Since since September 2022, I have been taking Zoloft. My dosage slowly increased to 125 mg. After the anxiety from a period of acute stress in my life subsided, I decided I no longer wanted to take Zoloft. My family doctor is not great, so stupidly, I didn’t consult her and just started to slowly reduce my doseage. A few weeks ago, I finished my last 25mg pills and haven’t renewed my prescription. Since then, I’ve experienced two main symptoms: the infamous brain zap sensation and slurred speech. I’m finding I have to concentrate so hard to speak clearly. I made an appointment with my family doctor tomorrow to ask for help. Looking for some guidance here about what to do next. Should I go back on at a low dose of 25mg and taper down with liquid Zoloft from there? Any advice is appreciated.
  5. Was on sertraline for 2 years before starting my taper, currently using the 10% method. Original dose was 59mg, on 24mg now, but I've stopped having "windows" entirely and currently only have "waves" of varying intensity. The physical side effects seem to still be slowly improving, however. Does losing your "windows" mean you're going too fast?
  6. Hi all. Thanks for accepting me on this forum. I was prescribed Sertraline 50mg 6 months ago. At the time I was suffering from an intense bout of SAD and anxiety that spiralled out of control. This was my first time on anti-depressants as I'd resisted in the past and managed to pull myself out using self-help techniques. Sertraline worked within the first two weeks and I remained stable on 50mg per day until recently with no side-effects. I contacted my GP recently as I hit the six month mark and wanted to come off. I only ever approached it as a temporary course of treatment to get me over the hurdle I was at. Just over a week ago I was advised to taper down to 25mg. For the first two days, nothing changed. On the third day, I began to feel a bit irritable, then tired and since then it's been a changing cascade of symptoms, ranging from bouts of low-level anxiety, terrible headaches, dizzyness, loss of appetite, slightly depressive feeling, occasional euphoria and just generally feeling in a fog and unwell, like a really bad hangover. I was told by the pharamacist and GP (and other people who I know that have been on a similar dose/time-frame) that a lower dose of 50mg for a short period (six months) shouldn't produce many withdrawals. I guess I'm here for reassurance and to find out if I'm doing the right thing. I'm terrified of my nervous system or brain being damaged. I can't seem to find many experiences online of people who have suffered these symptoms from simply tapering from 50mg to 25mg after six months, or how long the symptoms persist, and also to find out how I further taper to get off these tablets safely. Most of the experiences of withdrawal I've read are from people coming off completely at the end of a tapering process, rather than what can be experienced en route to that via lowering the dose. My GP advice was a month of 25mg, then stop. But if this is the reaction from a lower dose, I don't feel that's good advice. It's been just over a week now of lowering to 25mg and I'm still feeling unwell. I'm hoping there's someone who can relate and give me reassurance and pointers. Many thanks.
  7. Hello all, I'm here because I'm trying to educate myself about tapering off of Zoloft. I was on Zoloft and Valium for about 15 years and over the past few years, I have completely tapered off the Valium. I have been off the Valium for 11 months now, and while my system has been stable since getting off, I have protracted fatigue and hypersensitivity. I've been making due while I recover, but have recently been learning that coming off of antidepressants can be just as challenging. I spend a good part of my day resting. I'll do small chores around the house. Every Wednesday, I get to babysit my 3 year old niece, which is the highlight of my week! But exerting too much energy or being in stimulating environments leaves me wiped out for a couple of days. I've built my life around these symptoms. Currently I'm studying as an artist from home, I love to read (especially classical literature), and I think I've watched every movie out there at least once. I'm operating on the principle that time will eventually heal me. As for the Zoloft, I am unsure whether I should begin tapering now, or wait until I have recovered from my benzo protracted symptoms. On the one hand, I'd like to get off all these meds and get on with my life; I don't want to recover from the benzo and then have to restrict my life again to come off the antidepressant. On the other hand, it might be more than my system can handle right now to be both recovering from benzo withdrawal and tapering off Zoloft. Any suggestions would be great. I'm glad to be here and I look forward to meeting new people and encouraging one another along our arduous journeys. Best.
  8. Heldandloved

    Heldandloved

    I was introduced to antidepressants when I was a junior in college. I had transferred to a school where the sky stayed grey from mid-November to the beginning of April. I would assume my body was in dire need of vitamin D and some b-vitamins. I was twenty, an athlete in college and developed some disordered eating habits. When being treated for mild depression and disordered eating, I was put on Prozac. I took it for a month and then got off of it. I don’t remember why but just chose not to take it. Lots of life happened in between twenty and twenty-six. Right before my twenty-sixth birthday I gave birth to my second child. At my two week follow up appointment, I had an IUD placed. In what seemed like a week, I spiraled into a pretty severe depression. I’m not sure if it was postpartum depression or IUD induced. My doctor started me on 100mg of Zoloft and then pushed it up to 200mg. I was on and off this four years until I became pregnant with my third child in 2012. Upon becoming pregnant, my doctor had me cold turkey my antidepressant. I remember being dizzy and feeling some out-of-body feelings but didn’t ever suffer any lasting or harmful withdrawal symptoms. In 2014 I had my last child and shortly after having her my doctor encouraged me to start an antidepressant for irritability/anxiety. I started taking Lexapro 10mg and my dosage increased to 20mg. Taking the Lexapro did very little if anything for my irritability/anxiety. In 2020, when being treated for endometriosis I was put on a low dose birth control. The low dose birth control is what finally helped my irritability/anxiety. Over the past eight years taking Lexapro I’ve struggled physically with sexual dysfunction, low libido, very low metabolism causing weight gain and an increase in overall body fat. Mentally I feel as though my feelings have been numbed. I could count on one hand the number of times I cried and had tears actually stream down my face. I even feel as if I was able to harden my feelings easier towards people in my life. This is just not the kind of life I am meant to live. My journey to come off antidepressants started in March of 2023. My initial jump from 20mg to 10mg of Lexapro was DIFFICULT. It was about one month of dizziness, out-of-body feeling, flu like symptoms, auditory disturbances, restlessness, irritability, crazy dreams. I gave my body another month or so on 10mg. My jump from 10mg to 5mg seemed fine, and I stayed there for a few weeks. I then went to 5mg every other day for a week or so and then went to 5 mg every three days for a week. I stopped taking antidepressants on May 25th thinking this would be my last dose. I was so very wrong. A few days in the dizziness and tunnel vision started. A week after stopping I developed neuropathy in my hands and feet. It felt like I sunburnt them and then was rubbing icy-hot onto my hands and feet. Shortly after I spiraled mentally. I had crying spells, anxiety attacks waking me up from sleep, nightmares, an overwhelming sense of doom and I didn’t have the mental capacity to communicate with friends or family. I do believe God led me to this page. A light in my darkness and even more…HOPE. The day after I found this page I restarted my lexapro, 2.5mg every other day and thankfully again by the grace of God, it has helped steady me and take away my most difficult symptoms. I was able to go into my doctor, and although she clearly didn’t fully believe me about my symptoms coming off antidepressants (suggesting it could just be the depression), she’s supporting me and prescribed the lexapro liquid. I was hoping to find some help with where to go from here…if I take 2.5mg every other day what would a ten percent decrease look like, and when and for how long? Thank you again for this place where there is so much honestly, vulnerability, transparency and guidance.
  9. Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25+ Years of Use One-year post taper “success story” – http://survivingantidepressants.org Elbee (male) - August 27, 2020 At the time of this success story post, I have passed the one-year mark (15+ months) living drug-free. I am speaking to you from “the other side” of hell to let you know I made it through the nightmare of psychiatric drug withdrawal -- and so can you. I want to start by saying that everyone’s withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is going to differ – no two paths are the same. While there will be commonalities in what we each experience, there will also be differences. I also believe that none of us are uniquely or irreparably “broken,” and that each of us can find a path to living much fuller, healthier lives in greater freedom. To be clear, I had doubts throughout this process . . . believing that somehow, I was MORE “broken,” and that I wouldn’t find my way out of the darkness. But the natural, innate healing power we each possess is profoundly AWESOME, and it quietly, patiently works in the background in each of our lives. . . even if we can’t see it, and even if we don’t trust it. For me, the psychiatric drug withdrawal / tapering process turned out to be an invitation to learn how to live my life differently. It became clear to me in this journey that I could never go back to some idealized place I vaguely imagined myself clinging to . . . I could only move forward to somewhere I had not yet been. I need to be honest: It is still hard to revisit and write about just how painful this drug withdrawal process was. Now that I’m feeling so much better, a part of me wants to forget the whole ordeal . . . as if looking in a rear-view mirror, driving ever-further away. And the reality is that this rear-view mirror perspective is very much real -- I’m SO grateful not to be suffocating in such intense pain anymore! But it is also true I will carry the scars of this experience with me for the rest of my life. It is clear to me now that some of me died through this drug withdrawal process. It is also true that the most precious parts of me came back to life. And I am still healing. I was very much disabled through the most intensive parts of the drug taper. I was on these psych drugs for panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire adult life, over 25 years. Additionally, I was drinking alcohol abusively, and relying on multiple pots of coffee and a pack of cigarettes to get me through each day. Even before I had decided to get off the meds, I was utterly exhausted most of the time, barely functional, and unconsciously stumbling through life like a zombie. I knew I had to fundamentally change how I was living. The first step in my detox efforts was to quit alcohol in April of 2014, 30 years after taking my first drink as a kid. Thankfully, I was able to release alcohol from my life relatively easily. Whatever boost alcohol had given me previously was gone, and it was clear to me as a 44 year old man that the devastating hangovers I experienced were getting more difficult. Then, over that following summer and under doctor supervision, I “tapered” entirely off both the Lorazepam and Zoloft that I had been taking for 24 years. I experienced tons of anxiety in the process, but I did it, and after the 4-month ordeal, I thought I was in the clear. Unfortunately, about six weeks after taking my last dose of Zoloft, what I now know to be protracted withdrawal hit, and my life spun into a depth of hell that words cannot describe. Instead of re-instating the same drugs I had been taking, the doctors took me on an 8-month “trial-and-error” roller coaster ride of psychiatric drug experimentation. I finally ended up on higher doses of the drugs I had originally quit, plus Remeron added in for good measure. Through all of this, I landed in a very bad place – exhausted, functionally disabled, unable to work, and unsure what to do next. I had some savings in the bank I could live on for a few years, so I decided to “hole up” to do a new taper, following the much slower tapering protocol of the SurvivingAntidepressants.org website. But my savings were limited, so I used the 10% reduction protocol as a baseline, and pushed the taper as fast as I could without killing myself in the process. I’m not sure I would suggest this approach to anyone else, but in my situation, that’s what I did. Note: I’m going to refrain from listing out all the symptomatic horrors I experienced (there were many) as I write this success story. Here is the link, if you’re interested, to my introductory thread which details my four-year psychiatric drug withdrawal process: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11862-%E2%98%BC-elbee-25-years-of-meds/ And I want to take a moment here to say how incredibly grateful I am to @Altostrata, @Shep @brassmonkey, @bubble, @apace41, @Gridley, @Rhiannon (her writings), @JanCarol, @KarenB, @ChessieCat, @Petunia, @scallywag and all the folks at SurvivingAntidepressants.org who helped save my life. I also came across Robert Whitaker’s book, Anatomy of an Epidemic around the same time I found this site, and from these resources, I knew I had stumbled into truth. It became clear to me that so much of what the mainstream medical establishment had told me about these drugs, and about my so-called “chemical imbalance,” was false -- I had been lied to. SurvivingAntidepressants.org helped me anchor into this truth and set me on a new course. THANK YOU! With these new resources, I came to understand that getting off the drugs wasn’t just a simple matter of refraining from ingesting chemicals, or even about waiting for those chemicals to dissipate out of my body. I learned that my brain had restructured itself around the presence of the drugs all these years and that by removing the drugs, my brain would have to, very slowly, restructure itself again to a healthy state. The metaphor of a plant (my brain) growing on a trellis (the drugs) for support is so profound to me. How can I expect to abruptly rip out the trellis and think that it won’t damage the plant in devastating ways? This metaphor was such a clear illustration to me of how a neuroplastic human brain builds tolerance, and how we can so easily become entangled in the physiological mechanisms of addiction. And to be very clear, our brains develop tolerance to psychiatric drugs just like they do street drugs, and the mechanics of addiction and withdrawal in each are the same. Gaining this knowledge and allowing it to sink in was probably one of the most important early milestones in my healing process. In preparing for writing this success story, I re-read my entire introductory thread. Several pivotal posts stood out to me as other milestones in my healing process, and while this testimonial might go long, I think it could be useful to touch on some of them . . . In my very first post, I am already talking about the value of meditation. Sitting with myself quietly and focusing on my breath helped me slow down my mind and learn to relax. As I continued with the practice, though, I began experiencing periods of discomfort. I had initially taken the psychiatric drugs to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, and as I practiced meditating space was again created for those feelings to arise. Learning to slowly sit with and tolerate whatever thoughts and feelings arose began to nullify my need to run away, and therefore, lesson my urge to drug the discomfort. Meditation became a cornerstone of my self-care practice, and self-care is what I ultimately found to replace the drugs. Next milestone -- about a year later, I wrote an entry about a decision I was struggling with on whether to consult with a renowned psychiatrist. A relative was able to get me an appointment for a psychiatric medication evaluation from a “leader in the field” (at the bargain price of $2,000). Looking back, it was then I decided I no longer believed in the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, nor the system that deals in them. I wrote: Next, in the summer of 2016, still early in my tapering and recovery process, I went on a 111-day, 9,000-mile solo road trip across the U.S. In retrospect, I was probably looking for something “out there” that was missing “in here.” I did a four-day vision fast in the wilderness, hiked a 14,000-foot mountain, roamed Death Valley, did a week-long silent meditation retreat, camped under redwoods, hiked numerous National Parks, etc. Was it really a good idea to take this pilgrimage in such a compromised state? I can’t say for sure, but it’s what I did, and I think it cracked through defenses that needed to open. In the Hoh Forest of Olympic National Park in Washington state, I experienced a release of emotions like I had never felt before. It was in that moment I finally realized that releasing stored emotional blockages could ease my anxiety: Another milestone: Upon returning home to Florida later that fall, I dove more deeply into my involvement with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) 12-Step program. In conjunction with doing EMDR with a skilled, compassionate trauma therapist, ACA helped me crack through layers of protective childhood denial that I had carried into adulthood. Some people advise NOT deliberately digging into the unconscious too much while going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, but my path has been that of heavy digging. I accepted living in a disabled state for a period of time and felt that if I was going to get off these drugs, I needed to address what drove me to take them in the first place. By early summer of 2017, my commitment to this recovery approach had strengthened. Along with addressing the trauma associated with childhood family dysfunction, I opened another door . . . into the shame and terror I experienced hiding as a closeted young gay boy and gay teen. I had initially come out 25 years earlier at age 20 (the same time I started taking the psych drugs), but that was only part of my truth I was hiding. The secrets of my sexual orientation were built upon the secrets of having grown up in family dysfunction: Homophobia turned out to be compounding trauma, and I had been living in a closet within a closet. I had more inner work to do. Perhaps one of my most significant milestones was realizing how important it was for me to take the lead in my healing, and how easily I had deferred to the “expertise of authorities” in my life. By June of 2017, I had navigated my way off the benzos completely, and I recognized the importance of building an internal sense of trust – connecting with my more authentic self to discover a new inner compass. Despite appearing outwardly confident most of my life, inner trust was something I lacked. By allowing myself to fully feel, I had opened to recognizing my own authentic needs, to directly and respectfully communicating my needs, and to setting healthy limits and boundaries. By learning these important skills that I had missed earlier in life, I discovered greater internal trust with myself, and greater discernment in trusting others. By January of 2018, I had another important insight: I more fully recognized I was going through an internal chemical withdrawal process in addition to detoxing from the drugs I was ingesting. Behavioral (or process) compulsions and addictions all have physiological and neurological correlates, and I had been heavily “dosing” throughout my life using my own “internal drug store.” This realization profoundly shifted my perspective on my psychiatric drug withdrawal process, seeing it in a more comprehensive context. A lot of my recovery has involved working with an “inner critic” that had been driving me most of my life, born and sustained from a lack of unconditional love. Ironically, this harshness was so pervasive that I had never consciously known it was there. My inner critic constantly pushed me into the extremes of all-nothing thinking. Again, meditative practices more than anything helped me identify this was going on, and ACA reparenting (inner child work) has allowed me to soften it. By the end of 2018, I started discovering something that had evaded me my whole life – moderation, and a general sense of “OK-ness.” By April 2019, I had found a new pace in life to accompany my new inner compass, and I was nearing the full completion of my psychiatric drug taper. I was one-year benzo-free at this point, and at times, I was overwhelmed with heights of new sensations and emotions. I was feeling things I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager because I had been drugged my entire adult life. It was overpowering in many ways, but I was so grateful to be “awakening” to a much more fully human life. On April 28, 2019, I was finally free from Zoloft, and my psychiatric drug taper was complete. I had found a way out of the darkness, and I had survived. I couldn’t remember having ever felt so alive. So, while this isn’t my entire recovery story, I’m fulfilling my promise to report back and share my continuing journey with others. Where do things stand today, 15 months after taking a psychiatric drug for the last time ever? No need to panic. I’m not experiencing depersonalization, derealization (DP/DR), or panic attacks in frightening ways. I do still feel what I might call different states of consciousness, but often there is a positive, expansive quality to these experiences. Perhaps some might call this bliss? I haven’t really found ways to talk about it yet clearly, but I don’t experience panic attacks in the ways I used to. I still have fears of them returning, but less so with time. I also get “eerie” feelings now and again, but I have found ways to work with that when it happens, and it doesn’t usually last long. Scariest weirdness has ceased. Most of the “unexplainable” adverse reactions I experienced don’t happen anymore. I would get terrible flu-like symptoms for days at a time . . . hot flashes and chills, body aches, cramps, twitches, headaches, fogginess and disorientation, exhaustion, etc. Sometimes my heart would start racing for no apparent reason, or I would have trouble breathing. I had chronic digestion issues. I had intense agoraphobia, even paranoia at times. I had problems making the simplest decisions. All of this, for the most part, has subsided. Consistent rest. My sleep has changed dramatically, and I’m so grateful. I have struggled with sleep my entire life . . . unable to fall asleep at night and feeling anxious and “hungover” with crippling anxiety each morning. For as long as I can remember, I wanted nothing more than to sleep “normally” from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and wake-up feeling well-rested. Today, more times than not, my sleep resembles very much what I used to wish for. I wrote an entry summarizing what I’ve done to address my sleep issues here. Keep gently working with triggers. I still have intense anxiety at times and find myself in hypervigilant states. I’ve come to understand this as a trauma response, and I can usually identify what has triggered me and/or how my inner critic has become activated. I’ve developed self-care routines that help to reduce these reactions, and that help me come out of this state much more quickly and easily. Some old wounds have healed permanently – some things that used to trigger me no longer do. AND I want to emphasize there are days now, thankfully, I live virtually anxiety-free. Self-care (reparenting) is my new drug. I had SO much resistance to doing self-care my whole life (for many reasons I won’t get into here). And by self-care, I don’t mean treating myself to a spa day (though that probably doesn’t hurt). I mean the day-in and day-out routines of physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually tending to myself like I’m the most precious being in the world. Self-care is what got me to where I am today, and it will be the practice of my lifetime. Don’t overdo it. As my life continues to get fuller, I can easily start “checking-out” again. If I stay dissociated for too long, I will pay for it. If I overcommit while on autopilot, I will have adverse reactions when I reconnect with myself. If I try to shortcut too much on the self-care, I will most definitely feel it, and I will struggle. Moving forward, I have to be very careful not to take on too much too quickly, and simply take next best steps. The worst is over. I’ve come to accept that I will never know how much of the excruciating symptoms I experienced these past years were due directly to the psychiatric drug withdrawal, versus how much was due to all the “inner work” I was doing. What I can say is that the symptoms from folks going through psychiatric drug withdrawal and folks doing inner transformative (trauma) work tend to be very much the same. It’s uncanny really, and I can’t explain it. But these two processes seem to very much mirror each other. What I can say is that while there will still be “windows and waves” as my brain keeps healing, and while I still have more “inner work” to do, I’m confident the heaviest lifting for me is done now. Perhaps most indicative of the healing I’ve experienced, I’m feeling well enough now that I’m back in school earning a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) – I’m going to become a therapist. While I’m a bit uneasy stepping towards healthcare systems that betrayed me so deeply, I also feel this is how I can be of most benefit. I’ve come to fully believe that my wounds are intrinsically linked to my gifts, and as I continue to heal my wounds, my gifts will become increasingly available. I’ve been doing volunteer work for some time now, which has helped me to “move back out into the world,” and I hope to transition into paid work soon. I’ve been meeting with people in support capacities, and I envision “coaching” people at some point until I more formally earn my credentials. I plan to be very open about my history with psychiatric drugs, as well as my recovery process. I journaled extensively all throughout my recovery process, and perhaps I will share the “long version” of my story in the future (yes, this is the short version). For now, writing this success story is an important next step in my “coming out.” Thank you for witnessing my healing. Elbee-Success-Story_Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25 years on them.pdf
  10. Hi all, I have been on Zoloft for nearly 7 years before coming off of it a couple of months ago. I wasn't feeling good but it was manageable until recently when I had experienced something on the verge of a panic attack, but never quite close to it that lasted more than 12 hours before subsiding and have not been the same since then. Have been feeling especially worse in the mornings and dread having to go to sleep in fear of what is to come and have started getting interrupted sleep along with very frequent urination and overwhelming fatigue. Anything is now too stimulating and I am worried it may be related to some other condition but after researching it it seems like this may be PAWS. Going to talk with my psychiatrist about it and how to deal with it and although the pain was unbearable two weeks ago, things have begun to "stabilize" so to speak in that I am not nearly completely bed bound and can do some activities without crashing. However, when anxiety and stress is bad, it is very bad, trying to avoid it as much as possible. Feeling hopeful now but when in that state, usually in the morning or when very stressed, things become very dark to the point of considering suicide. This was what really concerned me. Have heard of some people reintroducing a small dose back to help stabilize but even now still skeptical of trying it. Just would like to have some level of normalcy back, as I think anyone would here. Thank you.
  11. Hello! A little about me. I was on citalopram 2012-2013 and weaned the ‘GP’ way eg just halved then quartered. It was fairly problem free, aside from brain zaps which went after a fortnight. I was then on Citalopram again 2014-2017 and weaned again fine, just brain zaps (each time for anxiety). Most recently, I’ve been on Sertraline from 2017. I was on 50mg and last September dropped to 25mg. This experience has been wholly different to citalopram. Since dropping to 25mg some 10 months ago, the brain zaps have never left. They make it feel as though my brain is back flipping or levitating, I get vertigo for hours after and it feels like most days are filled with buzzing, shocks and bizarre sensory disturbances (including a strange desire to constantly move my tongue, which sounds bizarre when written down!) Obviously, I react with more anxiety. I tried to drop again, alternating 25mg and 12.5mg in March, but it was a disaster. Sensory disturbances galore. I have a young toddler (2.5) and just can’t afford to be so unsteady and zappy around him. I feel stuck. The brain zaps seem permanent - despite being on this 25mg dose for nearly a year. I panic that the sertraline has permanently damaged my brain and I’m stuck in this hinterland forever. My GP doesn’t get it and I’m stuck with 50mg tablets. I’m aware there’s a wealth of info here to read through, but will need some time when I haven’t a toddler asking me to play with him! Any reassurance would be amazing.
  12. I have been on Sertraline for far too long and it made no difference whether or not I took it regularly. I was prescribed Venlafaxine and the side effects were horrible. I'd only taken it for a few days and have been advised to stop. Right now I'm just really confused and not sure which way is up.
  13. Hello everyone,❤️ I am a 36 year old male. Today I will be sharing my journey through withdrawing my over 20 years use of Effexor xr 150mg. I was first giving Effexor for depression caused by a separation anxiety. This was during my high school years wile I struggled with feelings of social phobia. Effexor seemed to blunt just about any fears and anxiety I had for a number of years but as time went on more and more side effects emerged some very scary. I tollirated most of sides just from the fear of withdrawal. I had previously had failed at least 3 failed attempts and one cold turkey in 2003 for 6 months unaware of what was happening to me both physically and mentally. Doctors were clueless and just represcibed the Effexor after that 6 month ordeal indefinitely. Fast foward 2016 a had gone under a few surgical procedures for a lumbar disc herniation with the last two resulting in a fusion. Around that time 2017 2018 I was having more and more increasing side effects from effexor and felt it was no longer working. I would have exercise intolerance,moments of narcolepsy type episode's, increased nerve pain. Visual snow, poor circulation diagnosed as Reynolds syndrome and more. I decided to seek help in disscontinuing effexor and was given an option to try to reduce from 150mg to 115.5mg immediately regretted as I could not drive my vision was on a rolorcoaster and I was having moments of just needing to pass out. So I went back to 150mg. Fast forward a few weeks my physciatrist introduced zoloft at a low dose and had me try again. At this time I was determined to muscle through. During a six month cross taper to zoloft max 100mg dose. My Final dose 37.5mg of effexor was February 20, 2020 and the withdrawl have been dibilitating waves and windows ever since. Lost job, home and hoping to keep my family around. Things seemed to have gone terribly wrong on July 12, 2020. On June 13, 2020 i dropped the zoloft to 50mg. One month later I was hit with an inability to walk or maintain any strength. I decided that day to updose back to 100mg zoloft. The days that followed were complete hell and multiple ER visits. Parkasins symptoms bobbing head neck weakness studdering speech spastic gait, spine spasticity, calf muscle cramp and faciculationts just a nightmare. One of the last ER visits left me with a diagnosis of post lateral sclerosis to be determined I guess because most my weakness was in my left side. New medications added since July included 5mg Valium twice per day and 2mg tizanadine or Zanaflex 3x a day I reduced two weeks later to only 2 times a day for the sake of staying awake. I have been bedridden since July after that episode. Waves and windows still apparent but very much less because of all the other medications. Psychiatrist is continuing the withdrawal plan keeping the other medication to reduce symptoms. She feels I may have had an adverse reaction or serotonin syndrome. Holding on to hope and my faith you guys are not alone 🙏 ❤ Present Dosing Regimen: Oct 9 [v] 7am 50mg Zoloft 5mg Valium [v] 12pm 5mg Valium (v] 3pm 1mg Zanaflex( mod. note- tizanidine, muscle relaxant) [v] 8pm 2mg Zanaflex Effexor Xr 150mg for 22years, discontinued from 37.5 mg February 2020 Discontinued because of Increasing side effects - Anhedonia. Blurry vision, exercise intolerance, weird adrenal fatigue episodes, increased anxiety, left sided weakness extending to feet, increased nerve pain, weird zoom Out episodes.
  14. Hi folks, please find an introduction to my psychiatric history. I desperately need of any support or advice. I started anti-depressant in 1994. This was changed to Prozac 1996, followed by Venaflaxine in 1999. My prayers were seemingly answered in 2000, when I was changed to Sertraline in 2000. Doze was quickly increased to 150mg two months in. I stayed on same drug and doze for 23 years! In 2022, I suffered mental health crisis due to overwork. I was quickly informed that Sertraline was no longer working but couldn't go off it due to duration of treatment. My then psych added Quitiapine as adjunct and Pregabalin. In Feb, my new psych decided to change Sertraline to Duloxatine. She tapered over 5 days! On 6th day I broke down and was put back on Sertraline. Three months ago I was taken off Sertraline again, cross-tapered with Duloxetine over three weeks. One week in started with unbelievable intense symptoms - anxiety attacks, problems with motor-skills and walking gait, freezing cold and diarrhoea. Psych then stopped Duloxetine after 6 weeks as psych doesn't think it was working. One week taper and then put on Escotalipram. By now I was bed bound and on Diazepam 7mg daily. Couldn't tolerate Escotalipram so taken off after two weeks. No taper, started Agnomelatine. Three days in. Couldn't stop being sick and quit. Constantly now have terrible side affects anxiety attacks, stomach pains, sweats, constantly feeling cold. Psych states nothing to do with withdrawal and wants me to go back on sertraline. Lost all hope now. Know this is the withdrawal effects but no professional. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would massively appreciate it.
  15. Hi folks, I’ve been reading the site for the last six months through my Sertraline withdrawal and the information has been so helpful. I honestly thought I was losing my mind until I found this community and realised what I was experiencing was in fact withdrawal, not relapse. It has been a difficult six months. From the end of June to about September were probably the worst. I didn’t experience any intense physical symptoms aside from insomnia and panic attacks but the psychological symptoms have been torture. Thankfully the insomnia, morning cortisol spikes, panic attacks and OCD like symptoms I was experiencing have subsided somewhat, I used the DARE response, exercise, cut out caffeine and started a magnesium supplement. I’ve also been attending counselling. These things seemed to help re-stabilise my nervous system to an extent. They can still creep in but I seem to have been able to get a handle on them. Although it takes conscious effort to keep them at bay and stop the thought spirals. What hasn’t subsided are the intense emotions which I’ve seen described here as neuro-emotions. These have been debilitating to the point I’ve had to be off work for the last month. I’m ridiculously emotional, totally overwhelmed and I just don’t feel able to handle every day life any more. It’s like all my confidence has gone and any remotely stressful task is just too much. At points it has come to suicidal ideation. To be honest after getting through the horrendous anxiety/OCD type symptoms I thought this really might have been a relapse as some aspects seem like my previous depression/anxiety which led me to start antidepressants in the first place. Due to the extent of the emotional symptoms and the impact they’re having on my life I felt I had to try something so I can function properly. After reading the reinstatement guidance here I have begun a tiny reinstatement of 0.5mg Sertraline. This has only been for the last few days. I know this was a risk after 6 months but I have restarted in the past (albeit at a 50mg dose recommended by a GP) with success and I’m desperate to be honest. I need to be functional, be able to work and support my family. I’m not noticing any negative side effects so far, the first day there was a marked increase in motivation and energy actually. I do feel like my emotions have been more ‘steady’ since reinstating which I wasn’t expecting to be honest. My plan at the moment is to see how this reinstatement goes by sticking at 0.5 for quite some time. Any words of support or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks 😊
  16. By February 2017, after suffering an a intensive mobbing at my first year of university, I was suffering an a clinical picture of being unable to get concentrate and having headaches all the day. My doctor diagnosed me depression and prescribed me Zoloft. I took it about 45 days, 50 mg, and then I stopped abruptly due to an a side effect that I didn't like (I don't remember which one, it was something completely banal). I've to say that I experienced an a improvement, the headaches disappeared, my brain began to work fluenty, being able to concentrate and read perfectly. After 45 days, I stopped "cold turkey". That's when the catastrophe appeared. I've been really bad for about this 4 years, suffering an a extreme clinical picture - that I was not suffering from before taking the drug, only after the interruption, and achieved his peak after a month, maybe two from interruption - of cognitive deficits (to the point of not being able to read or speak correctly), akathisia, suicidal thoughts, anger episodes etc. I've been avoiding any kind of psychiatric drug, cause I thought I was still suffering from the withdrawal. I visited different doctors that tried to prescribe me an anticonvulsive (not being able to remember name) an a antipsychotic (Abilify). Refused both medications. In the middle (3rd year), I started mindfulness to try to heal my brain, and partially succeded. My suicidal thoughts disappeared after one month of mindfulness, my brain partially improved with more wellness and better functional performance. Despite that, I didn't notice an a better improvement superior to 15% about the cognitive deficits issue. After this 4 years, I've been unable to continue my studies (I was at university, I was 20 years old by then). The last year, I visited a psychiatrist who told me that clearly my problem was the cold turkey interruption (first time aware the problem was the cold turkey, I was thinking that I was still suffering from withdrawal symptoms). I used to play the piano, and it was though that my brain was not unable to send correctly the orders to my fingers, and I was failing to play correctly. For about 6 months, I was wondering that he was correct, that probably my problem was the cold turkey interruption. Thus, we started zoloft again three months ago, I started 6.25 and then increased after 15 days to 12.5 mg. Now I've been two months on 12.5 mg. I've been feeling an a improvement with my cognitive deficits (the problem with the piano has evolved to moderate to mild) an a improvement related with anger but akathisia and brain impairment still persists. I've come here to ask for follow up and advice. My aim is the following: in one month increase the dosage to 18.75 mg for three months, and then, increase to 25 mg again, and remain there for about 6 months, hoping to get healed and cure my brain from this clinical picture. And then, reducing following the 10% rule. I'm not considering getting into 50 mg. For me, 50 mg was too much, making me feel extremely well, extremely smart and focused, extremely creative, extremely capable, extremely everything, and I felt it was unreal and a hazard. And I don't want to feel the same anymore putting my brain in such a dose. I hope your veteran's wisdom and council are going to help me.
  17. I was on Celexa for 7-8 years, unable to taper successfully until June 2022, when I completely got off after an 8 month taper from 40mg. I survived acute withdrawal, and at some point began taking unisom, Nyquil, and other OTC sleep aids. In November 2022, the sleep aids stopped working. It was so scary. Never in my life had I laid in bed until 4am, only to be able to sleep two hours and not fall back asleep. It was HELL for the next 6 months. I had insomnia, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, was afraid of everybody killing me when walking past on the street, and peoples' faces looked SCARY. I thought I was suffering from PTSD/anxiety. I had no idea it was withdrawal until after I was put back on Zoloft. Immediately, I felt my brain relax. My period came back. I wasn't afraid all the time. But I was still having issues sleeping after 3 weeks on 25mg. So I went up to 50mg for 2 weeks, then 75 for one week. Sexual side effects, binge eating, feeling foggy were too bad of side effects for me to handle, and I realized that I had been in protracted withdrawal from Celexa. I jumped down from the 75mg to 25mg since I hadn't been on long. I slept 7+ hours for 8 days in a row (smoked a few puffs of weed which didn't work until this week) after this jump, and felt AMAZING yesterday with side effects lessening and having slept more than I had in 6 months. But then last night I only slept 3 hours. I am so afraid. I don't know whether to go back up to 50mg and taper from there, or just let the 25mg stabilize and then do the 10%/month taper. My prescriber doesn't believe in any of this, so she is no help. Also, how long did your withdrawal insomnia last? How do I sleep??? Nothing helps
  18. Hi all, I have been lurking and learning from this forum for a couple of years but this is my first post. As you can see in my signature, I have been on and off Zoloft and Prozac (mostly for an eating disorder and anxiety), and finally managed to taper off Prozac successfully in 2021 over 4-5 months. It was gruelling as I didn’t have proper guidance (I only discovered this forum afterwards) and my psychiatrist at the time told me I could continue life as usual - I was in a very stable relationship and place in my life, with strong self-care practices, but I did do a lot of drinking and travelling. Shortly afterwards, I tried psychedelic therapy (ketamine and psilocybin), as I was working with a psychedelic therapy startup. I had NO guidance as re staying away from mind altering substances for a while and so you can imagine, this exacerbated WD symptoms. For about 6 months I had intense anxiety, rumination, anger and mood swings, insomnia, depersonalisation, and HORRIBLE gut symptoms. I did accidentally ate dairy in a restaurant too, the last day of my taper, which I’m highly allergic to. I’ve struggled with IBS and constipation even before the taper, but it was in waves and never affected my life. Within a month of tapering, I was constantly bloated, gassy, constipated and with abdominal pain. Over the last few months I saw GI doctors, functional doctors, tried probiotics, did colonoscopies and endoscopies, and ended up in hospital with severe constipation (and accompanying anxiety attacks). Since January 2022, I have worked with a number of functional medicine doctors to address dysbiosis, slow GI motility, constipation, bile issues, histamine intolerance, SIBO and most recently parasites. I’ve also took healing full on, stopped working and addressed lifelong trauma, found a good balance of self care and can say I am emotionally and mentally in the most calm, centred place I have ever been. That’s a huge success!! 💯🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’ve had periods where I’ve felt normal digestion wise but, the gut issues remain and I am now in a horrible flare up which lasted the last couple of months. Pain, gas etc. I feel lost, my functional practitioner wants me to continue doing a parasite cleanse gut that has been so intense on my body (40 supplements a day) that I have ended up in the ER a month ago. I just want this to end. I want to go back to living my life — dealing with this has ruined my relationship, has left me in limbo with work, has given me SO much health anxiety and has impact my sleep chronically. I’m worried that Prozac has permanently damaged my gut 😞 I saw a new psychiatrist who is suggesting that I reinstate Prozac on 20mg straight away and it’s not an issue; my energetic healer and my parasite specialist advise against it and although I want to believe in my body’s innate ability to heal, I wonder if it will ever get back to normal again or will I have to go back on Prozac? At this point, my quality of life is so poor that I will do anything. has anyone experienced anything similar or have any advice? Much much appreciated 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
  19. Hello Everyone, I'm so grateful for communities like this community. To know I'm not alone. There's so much I want to say though I also want to post an introduction today and my concentration is limited so I'll try to keep it brief. I apologize if it turns out to be a bit long. My first experience of psychotropics was in 1994 when I had moved to a new area, was laid off, and struggling. My PCP was a willing participant and prescribed various medications - Zoloft, Paxil, whatever was available at that time. Nothing seemed to do what I hoped it would do and I didn't go any further. I wish I could say that that was the end of the story. Several years later in 1997, I moved to a new area with a woman I had been seeing. Our relationship was not a healthy relationship and I was under a lot of stress at work, wasn't sleeping well, was having a bit of a nervous breakdown. I decided to make an appt with a psychiatri1st. By that time, I was convinced that medication was an answer to my dilemma. I believed the current narrative of emotional distress, depression and anxiety, neurotransmitters, and the need for medication to make up for what was missing. The first psychiatrist wanted to just put me on Klonopin, said it would do the trick. I knew a bit about benzos and thought this recommendation wasn't helpful. It didn't fit with my understanding of serotonin deficiency. I went to see a different psychiatrist who put me on Effexor, titrating up to 300 mg. He prescribed Xanax initially to help with sleep and anxiety during the day. I was willing to use benzos as a temporary measure. That made more sense to me. I look back with regret and anger that other options weren't offered for what really were normal existential challenges of work and relationship, something I wasn't equipped to handle at the time. Fast forward to the present. I've been on medication since. And I've had a lot of trouble finding a medication that doesn't have significant side effects. I've felt despair. I've been told numerous times that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. And yet changing medications is a nightmare. The side effects are a nightmare. I recently read a book called Pathological that prompted a deeper reflection and research on medication in general. That the medication may be my problem. I had already started titrating down on my current cocktail. I experience akathesia on Zoloft, the reason the Remeron was added. It's a bit of a shock that my psychiatrist seemed uninformed. He wasn't aware of akathesia as a potential longer term side effect beyond 1-2 weeks. If patients experience this, it passes, he said. He offered no explanation for why it was passing for me. I've wanted to titrate off the Zoloft for this reason though I haven't known what next. I've felt hopeless. This process is so tiring and disruptive. My psychiatrist is a good man though he doesn't have really good ideas about what to do. Just throw more things against the wall and see what happens as if this were a simple process. I started to believe that maybe I have Bipolar II and misinterpreted the akathesia as hypomania. I was on track to titrate down on my cocktail and look at mood stabilizers, something my psychiatrist was willing to try, when I came across the book Pathological. It changed my view in many ways. My dilemma now is best to proceed. I'm learning just how naive I am about psychotropics and titrating off them. In my efforts in the past, I've followed a more traditional titrating schedule and crashed and burned only to think I'd relapsed and needed that medication. I thought I was doing it more thoughtfully this time which in some ways I am compared to the past though I'm still moving fast. I seemed okay with Zoloft 25 mg and Remeron 15 mg. I went down to 12.5 mg Zoloft and the withdrawal side effects were too much to manage. I'm using liquid Zoloft and quickly went up to an intermediate dose of 17 mg which seemed to be okay. I thought at 17 mg I could go down a third at a time from 25 mg. Because the sedating effects of the Remeron were kicking in on lower Zoloft, I went down on my Remeron to 7.5 mg. It's been 2.5 weeks since that change. It's been hard. The biggest issue is that often I'm unable to think, concentrate. Brain dead. When it happens I'm dead in the water. I can't really do anything. I'm awake though my brain isn't functioning. I can think a bit though my brain quickly locks up, shuts down, goes dead and it's worse as the day progresses. It's a huge issue, making work harder, diminishing my quality of life. I like to read and my ability to read and enjoy it is absent. After reading an article by Adele Framer yesterday, I realized that my plan to not overreact, to name withdrawal for what it is, and just live through the awfulness may not be the best plan. That things may get worse and that there may be a better way. That I need to slow down. Expect that this is going to take much longer than I expected. In that spirit because I'm really struggling with withdrawal and it's having a big impact on my life, I thought that maybe I needed to go back up a bit on the Remeron since it seemed that things really got worse when I went down on it (though I could be experiencing some continued withdrawal from the Zoloft). I went from 7.5 to 11.25 mg Remeron last night. I woke this morning, feeling like I wanted to cry and cry and cry. Maybe this increase is too much. The article talked about kindling and sensitization and I wondered if this isn't why even small dose changes cause problems. My psychiatrist unfortunately is willing to be present as I titrate though his knowledge in this area is limited. My initial question is, Where to go from here with the Zoloft and Remeron to continue the titration? I know I have a lot to learn and am wanting/needing to learn. Also one burning question is, Is this issue with an inability to think, concentrate, and focus, this feeling that my brain shut downs so completely and I can't function, common and is there anything I can do to address this? If you've made it this far, thank you for listening and for any input you can offer. Best, st11
  20. Hi - I'm brand new here and have just started tapering off 100mg of Zoloft following the 10% protocol recommended on this site. I've been on 90mg for 5 days now. I've felt a bit of a 'drop', some increased anxiety, dizziness and fatigue, but nothing intolerable and nothing I didn't already experience while on a higher dose of Zoloft, so I'm feeling optimisic about this taper. This is my second attempt at coming off Zoloft. Last year, I came off way too fast, jumping down 25mg - 50mg per month and down to 0 within a total of 3 or so months. I experienced horrendous anxiety and depression but hoped it would improve over time. It did not. In fact, it turned unspeakably bad. Panic, despair, the darkest instrusive thoughts imaginable, insomnia, nightmares, vomiting, inability to eat, agitation, restless legs, rumination, mania, suicidality (no attempts thankfully), feelings of worthlessness and regret... the list goes on. At my doctor's recommendation, I reinstated 100mg of Zoloft about 1.5 months after stopping completely. It was in the lead up to Christmas and I took my holidays early and spent 4 weeks recovering at my parent's house. Somehow I managed to find the strength to put myself back together and returned home and went back to my job as a lawyer. For the last six months of this year, I've been working with a Functional Medicine Doctor and have been focused on getting myself into the best health I can before tapering again at a much more conservative rate. I've completely changed my diet, begun healing my gut, removed caffeine, sugar and alcohol and employed other hollistic healing tools. My new doctor is supportive of a super slow taper and has access to a compounding pharmacy to prepare bespoke doses of Zoloft. I've also been doing trauma informed psychotherapy for the past 12 months almost every week. This has been a very signicant step in my overall healing and it uncovered the reasons why I had ended up in this position in the first place. Growing up in a very homophobic environment and experiencing bullying and abuse during my childhood and teenage years, I was left traumatised, anxious and depressed as a young adult starting university. Not wanting to face the underlying reasons for my condition, at the age of 19, I found myself in my family doctor's office being prescribed Zoloft having only spoken briefly about having trouble sleeping and anxiety (although my mum had already spoken to him and suspect that she explained that she thought I was depressed and that it ran in the family). I was told "you may need to be on this for the rest of your life" and I believed that. Leaning into therapy has ignited a deep desire to heal and I know intuitively that the Zoloft must go in order to progress my healing and come fully into my true self. I also harbour a lot of anger towards the medical establishment and pharmaceutical industry for what I consider to be an ethical failure of biblical proportions given the millions of people who have suffered as a result of SSRIs and other psychiatric drugs. Thank you for reading my post and I will post updates as to my progress. I hope I can also support others at some stage.
  21. Hello all. I've learned from and been inspired by SA since about July 2022: I'm finally getting around to setting up an account and introduction topic. Thought I'd start with my SSRI antidepressant history, from start to (hopefully) finish. Discontinuing these past 8 1/2 months or so has had its ups-'n'-downs and I'll try to share a few highlights there as well. I had previously attempted several CT discontinuations and had problems about thirty-days after. It was another thirty-days of reinstatement before feeling better. I was not aware of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome during those past attempts; I thought I "needed" the SSRI to stay even-keeled. MEDICATION HISTORY Circa 1995, Psychiatric doc prescribed Zoloft/sertraline to "even out your moods" during a dysfunctional marriage. Initially started at 200 mg, but that was reduced to 100 mg very shortly therafter after as I recall. Reduced to 75 mg somewhere in the years following 2000, following my divorce at the time (in consultation with a P-doc). Reduced to 50 mg, maybe around 2010 (in consultation with a medical doc), where I remained until July 2022. July 14, 2022, I began reducing to 25 mg; both P-docs and med-docs had previously said that I was on such a low dose at 50 mg that I could simply discontinue Zoloft and walk away as it probably wasn't doing anything anyway. July 29, 2022, I came across survivingantidepressants.org and the 10% recommendation. I then began "eyeball" shaving about 10% off of my 50 mg tablets. August 11, 2022, reduced to about 25 mg. August 23, 2022, I had been trying to get in to see P-doc regarding discontinuing Zoloft before any reduction attempts. I received a phone call from a therapist - the therapist said P-doc recommended med-doc follow-up as I was on such a low dose (yep, I know, I know...). August 25, 2022, reduced to an estimated 12.5 mg. September 9, 2022, discontinued all Zoloft. THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCE Yes, I did not follow-through with the 10% guidelines. I was very inconsistent and sloppy in reducing and my record keeping was poor (most of the dates are guesstimates based on hazy recollection and a haphazard log: I now wish I kept a better record). Part of my cavalier manner was that both med and P-docs had downplayed discontinuation (made no mention of WD-type syndrome), and my own downplaying and impatience of "rediscovering Me" (as well as other reasons), as I had been on antidepressants for about 27 years. I felt fairly well for the first-four months of my post-SSRI experience. But, January 2022 reintroduced me to anxiety and panic (I had previously, but very seldomly experienced them). First one, anxiety about panic, was triggered by ruminating on thoughts of airline flying again (I haven't flown since 1988 (I had flown many times prior, including parachute school in the army)); second was traveling about two-hours from home in Los Angeles traffic and while enclosed in a museum (never bothered me before); third was a wake-up call from my "4 AM friend," presumably an early morning cortisol dump. January through March 2023 found me with what I guess is called windows and waves; quite a lot of waves during this time. Early AM panic attacks, sweating through several shirts as I slept, generalized anxiety, heavy and racing heartbeat, stomach knots, unsettled equilibrium... you know the drill. I often thought about returning to SSRIs. Is this misery worth it? Was I happier while on them? Did I feel like this before taking SSRIs at age 35 in 1995?: no, I did not feel like this. So I held fast, now being aware of WD syndrome and heartened by the success stories of others here on SA. Mid-may found me with the Mother-of-all-Panic-Attacks that had me at the edge of calling 911; I rode that out by calling a friend and distracting myself. I had retired in August 2020 and believe that I would not be able to take this journey if still employed. My anxiety/panic episodes often seem situational and arising from rumination: family issues with elderly mother/estranged siblings, health concerns, car problems, attempting to date, economy, etc. Perceived money insecurity has long been a trigger for me; childhood abandonment, neglect and some abuse (perhaps childhood PTSD), are likely contributors. In spite of the wave-periods, I continued to try to live my life, get out, be social, and visit the gym regularly. It's not been easy, and I do have to white-knuckle life at times: I may feel greatly unsettled, but try to remind myself to do it anyway. I have noted the tips in dealing with the waves here on SA and try to incorporate them into my life: I don't have too much to add. I've made a share of mistakes, such as a one-time binge on a bag of dark chocolate chips, occasional video game binging, and indulging in alcohol on several occasions: not good during times like these. I believe that talk therapy would help a lot, but other than talking with a few close friends, I haven't sought professional help (my insurance plan is currently inconvenient and expensive). I'm at the point where I've committed to one-year of being SSRI-free; at which point, I'll reassess. In all openness, I don't believe that I'll go back on them, but it's sort of a mental "safety net" that I've strung out and told myself is available should I slip from the trapeze.
  22. Hello everyone I found this website earlier today whilst feeling particularly despondent about withdrawal symptoms. I've read a few posts and feel like I could have written them. I can't believe so many people are going through the same thing! Bit of history - I'm female, in my 40s, from the UK. Had mental health issues my entire life and began being medicated in my early 20s. I have to say that the drugs did help although nobody could ever really find a reason why I was so depressed and so therapy never really worked. Later in life with A LOT of therapy, I have been able to unlock the Pandora's box of my past and recognised that I experienced some pretty horrible abuse as a child and young adult which is almost certainly at the root of all of this as I never developed a solid sense of self or grounding in the world. I'm currently having therapy to address this which is going slowly but in the right direction. As you can see from my signature I've been on multiple psychotropic medications over the years . Six months ago I finished a taper of opiates I had been prescribed for pain and have been through the most horrific dark night of the soul which I am amazed I made it out the other end of. I am currently tapering my lisdexamfetamine (which I am prescribed for ADHD)as it rapid-cycles my mood and makes me alternate between manic & suicidal all in the same day. Ultimately I'd love to be off all the meds altogether. Right now I am feeling despondent as the lisdex withdrawal is causing hideous hideous brain zaps. I have discovered that lisdex & venlafaxine potentiate eachother so essentially I'm not just withdrawing from one, I'm withdrawing from both and this is what is causing the zaps. Anyone who has experienced them will know just how utterly debilitating they are and make you want to rip your own brain out. I'm actually dubious whether I should have been prescribed both medications together in the first place. I'm not working at the moment due to the withdrawals which is making me feel extreme guilt in addition the the shame at getting myself into this situation. I'm taking various supplements, not sure really if any of them are helping. I do quite a lot of exercise but am also prone to inertia and anhedonia which can make it difficult to find the motivation. Thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences and looking forward to being here.
  23. Hello I'm in London on my 100th day if hell. Long story short had a head injury Feb 2nd. Soon after symptoms of dizziness/feeling like I couldn't walk easily set in. Chronic anxiety ensued. Was put on Zoloft early April. Only 25mg..symptoms all got much worse. Tried to persist, went up to 50mg for a few days. Felt like death and Neurologist said to lower back to 25mg. Since then more hell. Felling ill and suffering strange sensations 24/7. Numbness /pins and needles/stiff legs and back/agitation/dizziness/unsteadiness/ swaying sensations. Life as I know it as a fit/very active wife/mother gone. Fitness zero, unable to do literally amything or function at all. Seen multiple specialists and all say it's in my mind and underplay the role of the drug. Three Dr's and my Neuropsychologist told me to just stop it as 'dose is so tiny'. I decided to cut down..over 2 weeks so far from 25 to 12.5 then half that although so hard to cut tablets so not accurate. Probably too fast. I'm now on steroids/betahistine for ear issues so desperste to get this out of my system. Should I stop ? Have been advised to start Pregablin for the sensations and anxiety but too scared so far. Utterly terrified I won't get over this. Any advice most gratefully accepted. 🙏
  24. Hello everyone, I’m brand new here. Here’s a little about myself. I started taking 50 mg of Zoloft in 2011. I took that daily for over 12 years. In January of this year, I had a bad spiral with depression and anxiety and the Zoloft was no longer working. I tried upping my dose, first to 75 mg then to 100 mg. I went back down to 75 mg because of the side effects at 100 mg, but didn’t feel any relief. Since then, I’ve tried a plethora of AD’s and stopped every one of them because of side effects, including trying 50 mg of Zoloft again after a complete washout period of 7 days of all antidepressants. After the 2nd attempt at Zoloft, I was put on 5 mg of Lexapro and was supposed to go up to 10 mg. OMGosh, the Lexapro made everything 100% worse. I have now cut myself back to 2.5 mg of the Lexapro. So, all of that to ask this. I’m still having bad depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/derealization. I know that all SSRI’s basically work the same. So, if the 2.5 mg of the Lexapro if not even close to the equivalent dose of 50 mg of Zoloft, is it possible that I could be experiencing withdrawal from being on the Zoloft for so long? I hope this make sense. Please ask for clarification if you have any questions. And thanks in advance for any input you can give.
  25. Hello, I am have only just joined the forum, my medication history is in my signature. This website is amazing, I've found it incredibly helpful and also really validating to read about other people's experiences. It find it hard to explain to people without direct experience what it is like to withdraw from SSRIs. I've had several friends tell me that I shouldn't stop my SSRI (Sertraline) because they assumed the withdrawal effects are the depression returning. I was quite stupid because I got down to 50mg after a year of reducing the dose and then got really fed up of the side effects and just stopped completely. Since then I've been reading about tapering, and realised that I shouldn't have stopped so abruptly. I've also realised that my doctor gave me the standard bad advice to reduce the dose by alternating from day to day. Now I think that might be why I've had such bad side effects during the last year. However I hate the idea of restarting the Sertraline so I'm trying to find other ways to help myself. One thing I'm trying is herbal medicine. There is a good herbal medicine clinic near where I live and the herbalist has prescribed me a medicine that contains some St John's Wort. I've only been taking the medicine for 2 days, so it's a bit early to tell whether it will help. I was wondering has anyone else used St John's Wort to help with withdrawal symptoms after they have stopped taking a prescribed SSRI? (**Safety note - it's dangerous to take St John's Wort at the same time as an SSRI**). I'm also looking for information that explains what is happening in the brain when stopping SSRIs. I feel it would really help me to understand this. I'm a university lecturer and I've been trying to find information, but everything I've found so far just gives a very conventional/inaccurate description of withdrawals, and also doesn't explain what happens in the brain after stopping an SSRI. Are my neuro-receptors actually damaged? Does my brain need to heal from the SSRI? If anyone has any suggestions I'd be very grateful.
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