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Hi everyone. Im looking for some sage advice. I have been on 2.5 mg of Zyprexa for about 2 years. I decided it’s time to get off this poison. It’s caused me to gain 60lbs ..it’s given me high blood pressure and worst of all it makes me feel easily overwhelmed.. like the flood gates have been opened on my anxiety and depression. Previously I was very Even keel , even under pressure. I was a great Multitasker, and really good at troubleshooting and problem solving. I DO NOT feel like myself anymore , I lack the ability to feel love, joy or happiness of any kind, and forget motivation. the only things I can feel are anxiety, depression and Dred. I WANT OFF! I don’t care how long it takes but this s**t has to go! I have taken myself off antipsychotics before but usually right after a hospitalization. Because if I was stable I wanted off the meds ASAP. I did this with resperidone and with paliperidone. I was fine for 4 years… then 5 years before having another “episode “ . For me, an episode is being awake for days on end until psychosis sets it. They can’t fit me into a Schizo affective box because it doesn’t happen often enough or without lack of sleep. And they don’t think bipolar quite fit’s either because I’m not “manic” I’m simply awake.. feeling like I have electricity buzzing through me. I can be awake for days, physically, exhausted, and sleep, just will not find me. So the solution was ( of course ) Antipsychotics. Not addressing my sleep deprivation… or trying to find out why my heart would race every time I tried to lay down .. waking me up every time I even attempted to sleep… No , they just fed me antipsychotics. Because in all of that information all they focused on was the psychosis. knowing full well that anyone who goes without sleep for long enough will eventually go psychotic. But they take advantage of your weakness in these moments. Making THIS our only way of fighting back. It’s infuriating and disheartening. ( sorry for the rant ) Anyway, that’s the history. If you’ve experienced something similar I’d love to hear from you. ok back to Zyprexa. so I ordered a very expensive tapering strip protocol from the Netherlands and 3 days in I was right back in my danger zone. I was up for 3 days straight before I Reinstated at the original dose of 2.5. Luckily that did it, and I slept like a rock. Now here’s the tricky part … in those 3 days the dose was only reduced by a total of 4% overall. ( this was supposed to be a hyperbolic micro taper ) And my nervous system could not handle a 4% reduction!!! Now I’m terrified. I know now that I have to go even slower but I’m unsure how to do it now. I’m thinking about a micro taper of .001mg like I’ve seen people do for benzos, only holding for a week instead of trying to reduce every day. Im not crazy about shaving and weighing pills but I’m not really sure what other option there is at this point. there’s very little information out there on the intricacies of antipsychotic withdrawal. Even the newest information from Dr Horowitz doesn’t address the need for micro tapers.. their smallest increment being 5% which is obviously to much for me. So I have come here to gain some insight from people with lived experience. I need REAL help. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks everyone.

Short introduction, I'm pyr23 currently living in the netherlands. I've been taking medications since I was 19 and have quite a host of diagnoses. Most accurate is schizo-affective, I've been struggling this like most others here for quite a while, unfortunately after 25 years I now know it's a lifelong thing. My last try for getting in a better place involved a rediagnosis for Autism, in which it it might be possible to live with another medication structure. This didn't really work out since I'm actually way to old for that. I see that now as a midlife crisis from an old psychiatric patient. We can't all have a fast car and a young girlfriend, but we can go though another diagnosis, just for old times sake. If you're young please try and keep up and keep your meds as low as possible. For some people full recovery will be possible, and the younger you start the better your chances are. Try to make space for yourself financially with family and all other support you can find, if you're in a good place try to see what is possible.

Hey all. Though as I write this I feel relatively healthy, I prefer to quit anyway. My history of this treatment is long, tough and spans 6 years. Started with Sertraline and anxiety which led me to develop psychotic symptoms, though very few of these symptoms - 1 or 2 to be exact. Either way, I suspect my diagnosis is off the mark or entirely wrong because I've had friends tell me I am healthy and family members tell me it's been 2 years since they saw symptoms of my "chronic" illness. Strangely, if we diagnosed me according to DSM and other books then I would just barely qualify for a psychotic disorder in the past, but totally not in the most recent 2 years - I got better. Anyway, as of today I settled on Zoloft 50mg and Zyprexa 15mg (brands of Sertraline, Olanzapine). These are totally ok for me. Or so I thought! Here is my plan. Blood tests came. I have high prolactin. Remains to be figured out whether this high prolactin is from sertraline or from olanzapine. All I am sure is that I definitely have poor libido and some anhedonia which are typical for high prolactin. Better if it's sertraline 'cause I may keep on taking olanzapine in that case. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, since I believed these drugs to be 100% safe for me. How do I plan to come off these drugs, and will it go well? I will just persuade my doctor to give me a tapering plan. This is my own tapering plan based on my experience and how these drugs work with my body: Sertraline, month 0: 50 mg month 1: 25 mg month 2: 0 mg Olanzapine, month 0: 15 mg - month 1: 10 mg - month 2: 7.5 mg - month 3: 5 mg - month 4: 0 mg Cheers!

Hi everyone, I have been a member on this site for awhile (can’t remember when I joined). But I have never posted. My journey of tapering from Lamictal has been a long one of starts and stops. My original dose was 200mg (started in 2009ish). I started tapering in 2015, and I am currently on 100mg. I have no idea if Lamictal ever did anything for me, I was diagnosed with depression in 2005 after a miscarriage, which was devastating. I was prescribed Zoloft (if my memory serves me correctly), and then went off Zoloft when I was pregnant in 2006, but went into a tailspin, had a hospital stay while pregnant, went on other meds and after the birth of my son, was first prescribed Lamictal, (along with Cymbalta, which I successfully got off) My provider at the time thought that I had 1 hypomanic episode (because I stayed up late cleaning 1 night) and diagnosed me with Bipolar 2 depression. I never believed this diagnosis. I have 2 questions/concerns 1) what if I was kept stable by the med? And what will I be like off of it? I’m so scared I will fall apart without it and I won’t be the same person, or have emotions I can’t handle. I know no one can answer these questions but I don’t know where to go from here. I want to be medication free. 2) I don’t know the best method for tapering and I am mathematically challenged. Do I just continue to split pills (and use my scale) or use a liquid taper? I did see the tapering schedules and calculators, I have difficulty downloading the calculator. I guess I’m just looking for success stories and comfort, with these difficult decisions. Thank you

I have always suffered from Chronic Depression. 3 years ago, I got a drug induced psychosis from weed. My psych put me on 25mg Zoloft and 5mg Zyprexa. As the psychotic symptoms disappeared, I wanted to taper the Zyprexa because it made me a zombie. My psych told me to taper from 5mg to 2.5mg. Almost immediately, I didn't sleep for 4 days straight. I was crying and desperate when a friend gave me half a xanax for one day, and that seemed to let my sleep schedule to return to normal somewhat. When I wanted to taper further, I was told to cut it in half, but when I tried, the pill disintegrated. So, my psych told me to just take it every other day. It was absolutely hell again for a good 2 months. I got severe insomnia and rebound depression as withdrawals. I continued tapering like that. When I got to once every 3 days, I got so depressed, I went to the partial hospitalization program, where they switched me from Zoloft to half of a 75mg tablet of Wellbutrin IR every morning. But, the tapering cycle of hell continued for 2 years. Now I'm taking it once every 4 days and I developed really bad Akathisia. It seems to come in waves and has been progressivley been getting worse with every wave for last year. My new psych says it was stupid to skip days, and thinks the Akathisia is from the Wellbutrin IR. She wants me to start taking the Zyprexa every day and cut it in half, and to switch from 37.5mg of Wellbutrin IR to 150mg Wellbutrin XR. My question is, should I do what she suggests, because I feel like I'll lose a lot of taper progress and all the suffering until now was for nothing. I almost want to just go cold turkey off the Zyprexa and deal with the withdrawals. Or, if I reinstate it every day, how much should I do it by. Also, would I benefit from switching from Wellbutrin IR to the XR version. I recognize none of this is medical advice, but I would appreciate advice from anyone with knowledge or experience. Thank you

Hi,Im a new member.Last night i reinstated 2.5 zyprezza as my dr took me off 2.5 cold turkey and i have been sick for 7 months.In a fortnight he wants to reduce to 1.25mg.I have heard to reduce by 10 per cent.Would it be ok to go straight from 2.5 to 1.25 after 2 weeks of use.I just dont know what to di

Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.

I was looking for something else and ran across these articles. Apparently there has been an association for nearly 20 years now that anti psychotics, especially risperidone, used long term can be a potential cause of pituitary tumors. Recent studies are firming this up and finding an association. Great 🫢 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30531551/ https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Fulltext/2012/12000/Atypical_Antipsychotics_and_Pituitary_Tumors.1.aspx https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/antipsychotic-drug-may-be-linked-pituitary

My Physiatrist wont let me taper by splitting my pills. She's having me take it every other day or every three days. I think this isn't allowing for a slow enough taper because I have already had one relapse after trying to go off.

Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. (English is not my first language) Back in June 2017, I tried Mushrooms (psychedelic) for the first time and unfortunately had a bad trip. It lasted for about 4 hours and after that It wore off. A week later I woke up with heart palpitation, a very weird feeling (now I know it was derealization),stiff neck and a weird feeling on top of my head. At that time, I had never heard the word "Anxiety" in my life and didn’t know that I was experiencing panic attack. It got worse and turned into health anxiety and some kind of checking symptoms OCD. I saw multiple doctors and they first gave me Clonazepam which I took for a month and then I stopped it because I heard it might cause addiction. Then they put me on Gabapentin which cause me feeling my skin is burning which lasted almost 3 months. Then I tried Lexapro for two weeks which was my first exposure to SSRI. I stopped it because it made me more anxious. I almost gave up and was bedridden until in 2018 one doctor who was very famous put me on a cocktail of 25mg Clomipramine, 20mg Paxil and 2.5 mg Olanzapine. This was the first time I experienced depersonalization, completely out of body experience, very scary but because of the cocktails I was numb to my condition. He insisted on staying on the medication and I did. I got better after two months, and he stopped Olanzapine and after 6 months I stopped Clomipramine and increased my Paxil to 40mg. I was fine for two years and then I decided to tape it and come off it. It took me almost a year to be off the Paxil with no withdrawal at all. 4 month later in 2021 out of nowhere I started to have the same weird head feeling like there is a heavy weight on my head, my eyes were blurry, stiff neck, tinnitus, clogged ear and… So I freak out and was searching for herbs to calm my anxiety, I tried St John Wart and then again my DP came back with severe OCD. I have been checking every single word, thought, and any body sensation in my mind to see if I feel normal! (if that makes any sense at all) So after a month of struggling again I went to the same doctor and he put me on Paxil 20 and increased it to 40mg in 2 months. It got me 100 times more anxious, sever DP/DR, severe OCD, almost lost my mind. Then he decided to decrease it to 20 and follow the same cocktail that worked on mt last time by adding 25 mg clomipramine. I got better but not so much so he stopped Paxil and increase clomipramine to 75mg. I was still struggling with DP/DR, OCD and anxiety and he decided to try Lexapro and bump me to 20mg in 2 months. At this point I gave up on my future and my health, and was just following whatever he said hopingto see a minor improvement. I was getting worse by day and then I started to tape myself to 0 in 11 months. Unfortunately, I found your group late and now I am experiencing all possible symptoms including: DP( I don’t know if it is DP since I don’t have the out of body experience but I feel disconnected from myself, my wife and my mom, OCD, complete emotional blunting, head pressure, weird head feeling like all my head muscles are tight, tinnitus, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, tooth ache, a little anxiety which is weird like I am numb and doesn't even feel anxiety anymore. So that’s about it, sorry for long introduction and hope someone can help me and guide me through this time.

Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

Am I in the right place to ask about advice to taper medication as an advocate for my husband?

Hello, I was prescribed olanzapine 10mg three years ago for postnatal psychosis. I have experienced side effects from this so they kept me on it sometimes upping my dose. I was also put on sertraline two years ago. I am now on 10.7mg of Olanzapine and 100mg of sertraline.I plan to lower my olanzapine 5% every two weeks until I get to a lower dose of 2.5mg then I will lower my sertraline before coming fully off the olanzapine. I have not yet discussed this with my doctor I will ask him to prescribe me a lower dose every three months when I see him as he does not agree with me coming off of it completely.

Seeking advice to taper Olanzapine after two failed attempts Dear forum First of all, and after spending some hours browsing this forum, I'd like to congratulate you for the support you have given to so many of people in need. Please keep it up and God bless. To my story: After a breakdown following both work and marriage issues at the same time, I found myself in a psychiatry ward here in Germany beginning of June 2022. As I couldn't sleep due to trauma and compulsive thoughts, I was first put on quetiapine (dose unknown). I did sleep for a couple of hours, but after waking, my thoughts would be racing even faster compared to when I fell asleep. After discussing this with the responsible doctor, I was switched to olanzapine 10 mg. I left the ward with this dose beginning of July 2022. I was suffering from muscle weakness at that point (my only symptom as far as I can remember), but as I learned more and more about the long term effects of olanzapine, I decided to start tapering, always discussing this with a psychiatrist. September 2022 I went 10>7,5>5>2,5>0 in a weekly rythm. It all went smoothly until 2,5 mg, but 5 days after the last 2,5mg dose that I started feeling strange. Bouts of anxiety, chills, poor sleep, and finally, I stopped eating. Couldn't even force myself to eat. Eventually, I discerned that it must be withdrawal symptoms, and went back to the doctor. He confirmed, put me back at 2,5mg, and told me to hold for a month. Which I did, and I felt ok again. End of October 2022 I started the second attempt. I was to do a week alternating the 2,5mg every other day, then stop. Well, 3 days after stopping the last dose I started noticing my hunger go away again, as well as my sleep. I immediately went back to the doc, that gave me the option to go back to olanzapine, or take promethazine for the sleep issues. I first agreed to the promethzine and went home. However, I then decided to hold off for another two days, to see how things went, but well, things went down the drain. Acathisia, suicidal thoughts and a general sensation of doom came into the mix. I reconsidered taking the promethazine, as sleep was the least of my problems by now, reinstated the 2,5 mg olanzapine, this last week, which is where I am now. I don't think this second attempt went without leaving a mark tough. Before, I would go to bed at 9pm and fall asleep like a rock and slept through 6am. Now, I struggle to do so before 11pm and wake some time around 5 am, struggling to find rest again until 6am. I've also noticed something like I would describe as anhedonia for the first time, which I didn't have before. So, I would kindly ask for your support answering the following questions: 1. Have I sensitized myself already, given the new symptoms? What do you reckon? 2. How long should I at least wait until my next tappering attempt? 3. I understand the concept of a 10% taper by now, but would a 25% taper be totally off the charts, by cutting the tablets? I'm struggling the whole time thinking about the process of crushing tablets and making suspensions 4. To support the tapers, I started myself on 440mg valerian each night two weeks ago, as well as 30 drops 3x a day of passionflower. I had some heart rhythm issues that seemed to go away with this. How should I proceed with these two in your opinion? Hoping to hear from you soon. Kevin

Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.

Hello is anyone currently tapering off 5 mgs of zyprexa or olanzapine using brass monkey sliding scale or microtaper? How do you do it with water? Someone told me you dissolve 5mg of zyprexa in 50 mL of water and do 2.5 percent reductions for four weeks then hold for two weeks. Is anyone else doing this? Or something similar? I’m still trying to figure out how to use this site and do my introduction but I don’t know how. Please any advice on tapering would be appreciated.

Hi, long story but I’ll cut it short. I banged my head accidentally 6 months ago & have spent alot of time alone & bedridden with a brain injury. I’ve had psychotic episodes since then & was diagnosed with either bi-polar or border line personality disorder. i was out on Olanzapine (zyprexa) 2.5mg at first then 5mg & now 7.5mg, I have been on zyprexa for a total of 24 days as of the 20th of July 2022. My anxiety is off the charts - I need to taper off Olanzapine & try Seroquel. Help! How much do I taper each week of the zyprexa & do I take the seroquel while I’m tapering the zyprexa? Thank you for your help bess

Years ago I had a problem, gas pain in the chest 24/7 and belching 24/7, I went to the gastroenterologist, from there to the neurologist and he sent me zyprexa, 3 months 2.5mg and one month 5mg, and I am going to start giving it up because I feel that it has deteriorated me cognitively and artistically, will I go back to how I was before? I'm very scared, I want to be able to be like before I took these pills, if I had known I would never have taken them, I'm sorry for my English but I'm Spanish, and I apologize if I'm in the wrong forum because it's the first post

Hello I am an Spanish 67 years old mother polydrugged for many years. I never wanted to take psychiatric drugs with problems of depression and psychotic symptoms like I don't have money to buy food. I was raised years after the Spanish Civil War. I don't think I need all these evil drugs I am in, Zyprexa,lithium carbonate, Anafranil and lamotrigine. I had multiple stays in psy wards where they changed me drugs or I CT them.My family took me there when I was bad like refusing to eat because I was psychotic. I want to come off of this dreadful cocktail. If not possible with all of them then with some. I think I kindled because of multiple CTs or irrational taper plans. Last time like 3 or four years ago I was forced to come off of zyprexa 15mg to 7,5mg. That is a huge drop. When they made that cut i could keep my back straight. I was like that for many months. I have arthrosis and osteoporosis. My last visit to my psychiatrist he suggests going to Zyprexa 5mg tablets. I was on 7,5mg of Zyprexa or Zolafren 7,5mg capsules here in Spain. I want to know how can I taper this awful poison with the least risks. Thank you for reading my story, Maria Casais

Hi. My story should maybe begin with med history I suppose. Back in 2017 I was hospitalized and put on trazadone, zoloft, and zyprexa. After only barely a year of this cocktail it was determined that I was too tired to function with trazadone and zyprexa caused an odd issue with blood sugar which required immediate discontinuation. After another year and a half of zoloft, I asked my PCP (primary care physician) to manage my meds and help me try something new. I was tired of driving to see my nurse practitioner, who formally managed them. My PCP suggested Paxil, and also placed me on imitrex for chronic migraines. She discontinued zoloft, she felt it was a low enough dose. Shocker. This was the end of January 2020, so covid was nearly upon us. After only one month of being on it she decided to bump it by 10mg, to 30mg. We also decided imitrex sucked so I got put on maxalt which I'm still on today. I felt as though it was helping me with irritability, which is a problem I've had for a long time. Paxil mellowed me out it seemed. It made me not really care much. All visits after February were done via zoom due to covid. In November of 2021 I was feeling at a wit's end with the increase in head pain frequency. Taking all 9 of your maxalts every month and having more migraines on top of it just sucked. I also was having more s******l ideations, I always have had passive ones but having more than usual was bothering me. She said she would add 10mg of amitriptyline because "it helps with migraines and mental health so it'll kill two birds with one stone". Well it seemed to help me sleep. However, I'd been slowly gaining weight while on paxil due to my low motivation and lack of caring... which I think amitriptyline just further encouraged. My pharmacist was a little concerned about the combination. She mentioned serotonin syndrome being a common issue, but my doctor said I'd be fine. Well I continued to just kinda suck things up, my fault, but I just really appreciated how chilled out I was. May 26th 2022 I go to my PCP in person because 1. I developed a twitch in my thumb, tendinitis from typing. 2. Because I finally got the courage to talk about my meds via pro con list. She determined the tendinitis, we got that fixed. However, when I wanted to address meds she actually cut me off and just started talking about my blood pressure and (obvious) 30 pound weight gain. This was the first time she's seen me since increasing the paxil, mind you. I understand her concern. My blood pressure was some kind of record high, I'll admit it was so high I couldn't believe it for my age. She said I needed to get blood work done asap and that after she looks at lab results THEN she will discuss meds. That Friday, may 27th I messaged her on mychart (she's nice about this) about my concern regarding med combination. I told her I was curious about whether paxil in combo with other meds could've been my reason for high blood pressure. She said "well, hold your paxil until you get your blood work and until I can get another blood pressure reading". LOL. I said sure thing, because what could ever go wrong. I got very sick, but got the labs done that next tuesday and sadly couldn't get my blood pressure done until that next Friday due to staffing issues at her clinic..I ended up having my work do it since we have nurses, and just messaged the bp read on mychart. Believe it or not my blood work was pretty emaculent. My blood pressure went down 30 points on systolic and 10 diastolic (idk if points if the right term) but still it was high. She messages me on Mychart that friday afternoon to say she got my results, and wanted me to continue "hold (not take) your paxil because I think it was affecting the blood pressure". Yay. She scheduled to see me June 10th to talk about a beta blocker if my blood pressure was still high. June 10th comes and she still wants me on a beta blocker, it's still high but going down slowly. I have tachycardia on top of it, so she was pretty concerned. I told her about my very horrible experience with paxil withdrawals, to which she said "you're the first to say that. I've never had a patient have a problem or get withdrawals from stopping paxil". So I said, well maybe I'm sensitive and reminded her about my zyprexa problem. I thought it kinda sucked to have her brush off my withdrawals that took two weeks to go away completely. =/ I ended up added omega 3 and magnesium to help with brain zaps, which actually helped me but I can't say how or why. She was fine with the new supplements and said I would now start atenolol (beta blocker). Scheduled me out to see her on June 24th. So I guess that's my story so far. My blood pressure is slowly but surely going down. I'm feeling more energy again, less headaches, less weird hyperthermia feeling, still some issues with motivation but still seeing small improvements. My concern is how my body will adjust to not having paxil in the long run. It very much wasn't good for me, and I feel bad for not getting it check out sooner but I really just didn't care enough at the time. It was kind of scary. I know CTing can have long term effects, but I also JUST started feeling somewhat normal again and don't want to go back to feeling addicted to paxil to ever return. I also just feel alone in this, if that makes sense?

TLDR - Dr badly advised Zyprexa CT at 2.5 - Tried to reinstate Zyprexa after 1.5 months off. -Started to see improvement at .25 reinstatement dose -After 4 days, accidently up-dosed to 2.5 and had bad reaction -Tried to lower back to .25 but was still to activating from up-dose -Lowered dose to 1/8, no reaction but started to get sick with new withdrawal symptoms -Back up to .25 at dr order, but had a reaction (not as bad as the 2.5 dose), will things get better over time? -Don't know what to do now -Life feels ruined Hi everyone. As many of these stories go, I feel like my life has been crumbling, and it happened in such a short amount of time, and I possibly ruined any chance I had to salvage it forever. Back in 2020 I started a prescription of 10mg Dexedrine for ADHD. In January of 2021 I had a very stressful and traumatic life event happen that sent me into psychosis. I ended up coming out of it on my own, but continued to take the Dexedrine not knowing it could have been a contributing factor. December of 2021, continued stress from that same traumatic life even remerged and I entered back into psychosis but was this time hospitalized. I was given 10mg Zyprexa in hospital. Upon exiting the hospital my Dr quickly started to reduce the 10mg Zyprexa (I don't think we even went to 7.5 but can't remember) and by February I was on 5mg, March I was on 2.5 and by the last week of April I stopped CT, although I didn't realize it was a CT at the time being told it was the lowest dose and fine to stop . The obvious happened and I entered extreme withdrawals. I called Dr about a week later and told her about the extreme anxiety I was having and was prescribed Buspar. The very day I took it, the insomnia started. Called Dr again, she prescribed hydroxyzine as needed for insomnia and anxiety. Anxiety still increased to a 3 day panic attack from not sleeping. Went to urgent care and was prescribed klonopin to stop panic attack and helped some with sleep. I kept pushing through thinking things had to get better, but was extremely scared about becoming addicted to klonopin so took sparingly only after several days of hardly sleeping. The insomnia was brutal and destroyed me. Some night out the blue I would get 8 hours, and then days with very little. I do not do well mentally/physically with low sleep, I have always need TONS of sleep including naps to function so this was almost giving a new form trauma. After several weeks of suffering I found a FB group and this website about going back on and tapering off more slowly. I asked my dr to help reinstate and taper off, but she would not saying she did not have the capacity to do that, plus she said I was not diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar and so was not a medicine I needed to be prescribed. I literally begged to go back on thinking it was the only way to get my sleep back. I told her I would die if I did not go back on and get sleep, she said go to the hospital and hung up on me. Could not go to hospital as I have a daughter to take care of, so found a new Dr. She unfortunately also said I should of been fine to come off at 2.5. I told her about going back on an tapering off more slowly but was told "you can't do that, 2.5 is the lowest dose they make!" She gave me Mirtazapine instead. Took 3 doses for 3 different nights 3.75, 7.5, 15. None of which helped more than a few hours of sleep. At this point after reading this website about withdraws only improving by reinstating the original medicine I was scared to start a new medicine that might not even help, and seemed just as difficult to stop as the zyprexa. Dr then thought maybe the insomnia was caused by an adverse reaction to buspar after it started the first day I took it. Told me to stop CT and wait a few days to see if it helped. I did sleep for 8 hours one night a day after stopping but then could not sleep for 3 days. Called dr again and begged to go back on zyprexa. She finally agreed after we waited a few more days for buspar to get out of system. When I asked what dose to start the zyprexa with she was confused as she said 2.5 was the lowest dose. Decided to follow advise and wait a couple more days to see if it really was the buspar but ended up getting a horrific cold and reinstated zyprexa (after 1.5 months off) on my own without dr help (since she most likely would of had me just go back to 2.5) Started with .25 and actually started sleeping again for 4 days! But at this point my husband was over my struggles as it's now been over a month of hell and was pressuring me to get better by the end of the week (even though I had a legit cold, and know it takes time to stabilize). I got nervous about losing my family and thought I could try to increase a little from .25 to .5mg. Since I was sick my husband cut my pill, BUT not paying attention cut an old 5mg pill I still had in closet instead of the 2.5 giving me a full 2.5 dose. Ended up having an extreme bad reaction. Instead of calming me it made me crazy/manic/a touch akathia/ extreme stomach pains like and animal was trying to gnaw through it . Could not fall sleep but did eventually for 2 hours. Next night tried to go back down to .25 dose but same thing happened, just not AS bad, did not sleep and so after not sleeping the night before took a klonopin, and did sleep. Didn't take any medicine the next night since I was scared of the reactions (no sleep). Was considering stopping all together after reaction but tried 1/8 of dose the next night in the middle of the night when I could not sleep and did not have a reaction and even slept some. Tried 1/8 dose next night but did not sleep, no bad reaction to it but EXTREME anxiety over what this all means and what to do about dosing now. Had doctor appoint and this time brought my husband and mother along for support and explained everything that was going on. She seemed more on board this time with letting me reinstate at a small dose and was able to get a prescription for a liquid I got filled at a compounding pharmacy for .25 dose since I did sleep on that when I originally reinstated it. I was such a wreck from all the stress of trying to figure out right dose and feeling like my life was over (also I believe I started to experience new withdrawals from switching doses around and was starting to get very sick quickly) so at 6:30pm took .5 klonopin and then took the .25 dose. Ended up again having a small reaction after taking pill of slight panic/anxiety/akathia. Took an epson salt bath for 2 hours with some chamomile tea and actually calmed down to the point that I was actually sleepy and was able sleep all night long. Unsure how much of a role klonopin played in all that, but I imagine it must have helped. Where I find myself today. Dr said to give it time to work and see her next week. I am very concerned that our mistaken large up-dose made me hypersensitive to the medicine and will continue to have these reactions after taking it. My family of course does not understand any of this and thinks you can just take a pill and start to feel better, so that is adding to the stress. Once you become sensitive to a medicine like that, is it at all possible for your system to calm down and become stable again on it, or did we ruin that chance?? I feel like I finally figured it all all out, only it might be too little too late... my Dr finally on board agreeing to a small reinstatement at the lower dose, finding a compound pharmacy to do a liquid prescription, the plan to slowly taper off now, but worried I have ruined my chances. I feel now like I could not even stop taking the medicine without some sort of taper if I continue to have these type of reactions as I was already having new withdraw symptoms from just the week I played around with the doses. I wish I could back in time, and never took that accidental up-dose! I really felt at .25 since I was sleeping I could have stabilized and possibly salvaged my life. If I keep having these reactions I don't know what I will do. On the positive side, since the CT my stomach had been getting progressively worse, could not eat and suffering low bloodsugar drops, and since starting again is completely back to normal, so I am seeing some improvements to reinstating. I don't know if this is accurate but it feels like my body is in a battle. My CNS is clearly not happy what I have put it through and spazing out, but at the same time my brain is now already dependent on me being back the on medicine. Can my CNS eventually calm down and accept the .25 dose or did I loose my chance at a successful reinstatement for good?? Will giving it more time work like my dr said? Should I try to lower it some? I think the 1/8 dose was too low as I got withdraw going back down that low, even from such a short amount of time at the .25 and the accidental updose. Am I stuck on this medicine now not able to stop immediately and suffering ever time I take my dose needing a klonopin to counteract the medicine reaction for the rest of my taper? It's hard to think sometimes your life might be over from such a small mistake, so mentally this is destroying me.

Hello Everyone! My psychiatrist provided me Zyprexa (20 mg) to divide and use PRN when "manic." I took one 10 mg dose, then a series of 5 mg doses over three to four weeks. Since my first dose, I have continued to experience brain fog, memory loss, and depersonalization. My family intervened and (fortunately) the total exposure was 55 mg (maybe less). My average daily dose was around 2 mg over the nearly the month I took it. The last 5 mg dose was on June 6th, 2022, this was when the tinnitus began but has seemed to improve some (though still present). [Withdraw Begin] Tuesday (June 14, 2022): I was lethargic and vomited after eating a meal, while experiencing loose stools. Slept all day after taking a Zofran. The timing of this makes sense, as this marks (nearly) four elimination half-lives of Zyprexa. Wednesday (June 15): Napped all day and my family went out to eat. I was very removed from the conversation, feeling trapped in my mind. After nearly 20 minutes, I just remembered that I went to the grocery store and package store. My anxiety began to manifest and only slept four hours that night with 10 mg melatonin. Thursday (June 16): I cannot remember this day at all (which was yesterday). I faintly remember being an anxious wreck having to pace. I entirely forgot that I went on a car ride with my mom. I woke my mom up in distress around 2:30 am to help talk me down (I thought this happened yesterday). I have no idea if I slept last night or not, if I did it was very light. Friday (June 17): I don't remember this morning. I think I sat anxious for hours until my mom gave me 30 mg of CBD. This seemed to help for several hours, allowing me to go outside and do some yard work to sweat. This, combined with the CBD, made me feel like I had improved some. This feeling has somewhat wore off three hours later. I am concerned with getting sleep tonight. I am feeling very hopeless. I reached out to my past psychiatrist which assured me nothing I'm going through is likely permanent, though I wasn't able to give him nearly enough detail. My current psychiatrist still has not returned my call. I have several questions (well, reassurances... I understand no one can tell the future): (1) Has anyone else experienced this severe of memory loss and recovered (preferably within six months)? (2) Based on my history (low total dose, short length of treatment, current symptoms), are my withdraw symptoms normal? (3) Would going back on a low dose of Zyprexa improve my recovery? I went off of the drug for the same issues I have now and would be skeptical to consume more. (4) My cognitive issues are seemingly worse without the medication in my body, is this normal? I began magnesium, fish oil, and stress B-complex today. I believe my brain will benefit from not staggering these. I intend on sweeting everyday. Fortunately, I have a very supportive family and do not have to worry about anything other than recovering (I'm 25 years old). I feel like in the past year, I have been robbed of my intelligence and personality. I was supposed to return to college in two months, but that is likely out of the picture. I am hopeful for beginning this spring in six months. I have read so many horror stories from Zyprexa causing lasting damage. Thank you all for your support!

Hello, I am Shors and I am in very bad spot and have an extremely serious case due to Zyprexa misuse, and pre zyprexa insomnia. I recognize that this case is rather complex, and that there are many aspects of this case that require me to see neurologists and such, but if you could take the time to read it yourself and provide your own input that would be great as I am very inexperienced and novice. I have had insomnia for about a year before taking zyprexa, and about four years before the original insomnia developed I was neglecting my sleep (mostly in high school). This, in total, five year period of worsening sleep created for me memory problems independent of olanzapine. I believe these memory problems are mostly due to a lack of energy from no sleep, as I've experience great improvements in memory when I have managed to get rest. So the neglect of sleep began in 2014, wake up insomnia developed in mid 2018, and I was sent to the psych ward in late 2019 to be put on zyprexa. I would say also that the memory problems started to happen around 2016, but I didn’t notice them until I got my first job in 2017. I was really terrible at it because it required me to remember many things at a time. I was in the psych ward for two weeks, and immediately stopped taking my cocktail of drugs except for the zyprexa (unknown dose) when I was released because it helped me sleep. I took the zyprexa for two more weeks but stopped, however, due to the terrible effects. I was completely unaware about the severe withdrawal effect of insomnia though, and if I was aware of It probably could have been zyprexa free at this point. I just didn't think that increased severe insomnia was due to zyprexa since I had already been experiencing insomnia before then. Attributing mainly weight loss and memory problems as the main problems to the drug, I would continue to unknowingly suffer withdrawal induced insomnia for the following months. In this period I would continue to work with my psych to get different sleeping pills. Ambien, Restoril, etc. and they did not work. The psych I was with (and am still currently with) was really careless, and he just played along and let me take whatever pills I wanted to take. In a new town and picked up a night job, and desperate to find any kind of drug that could put me to sleep, I eventually was prescribed one bottle (likely 10mg) of olanzapine again by the local clinic. I took it inconsistently, 5-10 days in between (since I was able to sleep fine in the inbetween days of doses) and sometimes weeks apart, but the one bottle I was prescribed then lasted a good bit. Eventually I could not take the night job after only four months working there and I moved back home. Without Zyprexa I suffered intensely, and for maybe a couple months after finishing that bottle I started to experience nausea and vomiting. It was at this time that I started to complain about the symptoms to my primary care provider, who never once thought that these could be withdrawal symptoms. She referred me to get mris done, neuropsych, all said that things were normal. I mistakenly thought that the nausea was caused by a circadian rhythm disorder and desperate to rid myself of these symptoms, I asked my psych to be put back on Zyprexa again (10mg). Back to the sleep induced memory problems, it seems as though for this entire five year period, whenever I do not get sleep or good quality sleep for an extended period of time, that I start to shut down. I become mentally slow, cannot socialize, unable to think, etc. and this is without zyprexa. For the period in which I started to experience nausea and vomiting for the first time, this is especially true. When I took zyprexa that time and got the rest I needed, it really helped and restored me back to working order. That did not mean I wasn't cautious about the effects, I took it only for about 3 weeks to give me my energy back and then began taking it inconsistently again. The main reason for the inconsistency (again) was to minimize the side effects, of weight gain and memory problems, and that I would continue to sleep well for some days after each dose. This continued to go well for me until around . As I've become dependent on Zyprexa, I have gotten less and less sleep over time, and slowly because of this my memory problems have gotten ever so worse. Up to this point, this would make about one year of total Zyprexa use, inconsistent or consistent, and I would say maybe 4-6 months worth of bottles. I believe that my memory, independently of zyprexa, has dipped to a new low, because of my memory I cannot enjoy music, movies, books, studying, socialization, or even work. This will greatly affect how I will start my recovery process from zyprexa. At this point I was deciding which options I would take for my recovery process. The options for me would have been this: Quitting cold turkey, would not have worked as I would have experienced terrible memory loss from the sleep deprivation Inconsistent tapering, this might have worked but my memory could have also worsened as I was sleeping less on the in between days of taking meds. Take zyprexa or a month or two to restore sleep and get some more energy Continuous taper Cross tapering by introducing other sleeping medications, doing this with an inconsistent taper with olanzapine would have added a world of complexity for me Quit cold turkey and then take other sleeping meds, but understandably this would end in disaster The option I eventually chose was to do a long continuous taper with a reduction of my dose of 10% a month, with making 5% reductions a possibility when I get to the lower doses. I understand that this might not have been the best idea when for my past years I have only ever been taking it inconsistently. I don’t really know how this might have affected me so some of your input would be welcome. I am down to 5.8 mg at this point and am continuing with this taper. My method of tapering involves crushing my tablets with a pill crusher, putting them inside gelatin capsules, and weighting the capsules on a drug scale. Making whatever adjustments are necessary by adding, removing the powder from the capsule until I get the exact weight measurement right. I would also have to reiterate that my memory problems are severe at this point. I forget many things in normal conversation when I talk to people. It's near impossible for me to read books or watch movies. I am getting a neuropsych test done soon. it seems like, even though I've had memory problems for a good 6 years, they only ever became a problem until these past 2 years, where I cannot study or do basic things in life. If I ever recover, a full recovery is not what I'm asking for. Just enough to let me have the quality of life I want.

I've been on 10mg of Olanzapine (zyprexa) for over a year now. I didn't take the time to research this drug when I was prescribed it and thought it was a miracle. It ended my drug-inducded psychosis immediately and provided me with sleep for what felt like the first time in my life. It no longer provides me with the ability to sleep. It's not that I feel like I've lost these things, I actually have lost them: I've lost my intellect, my creativity, my ability to learn and retain new information, my ability to play music, my libido, the list is endless. I'm afraid the damage is permanent. I am 100% physically dependent on this substance. If I don't take it I feel anxiety immediately and can't sleep (not that I'm sleeping well as is); I've never missed a dose for longer than 24 hours. I am incredibly frustrated with myself for enabling my addictive personality to take this drug without thinking about the consequences I now face. I really thought I was "cured". But now I know I'm looking at likely worsening symptoms and possibly return to psychosis on top of withdrawal, increase in insomnia, anxiety, and depression. And who knows what other physical or mental side effects will persist or appear or worsen as I start to get off this drug. I'm going to try to jump from 10 to 7.5mg. I have an appointment tomorrow and I'm going to discuss tapering immediately. I can't seem to find [m]any success stories of people getting off this soul-destroying drug and I fear I've basically ruined the rest of my life by starting this drug. I am 100 percent positive I will relapse on alcohol either as I taper or when full withdrawal hits and I quit entirely. I really don't even care if I do, I just want to get off this bullsh*t. I may even drink my way through a rapid taper. I'd rather drink for a few months and withdraw from alcohol with a librium taper than continue on this med. I mean, thats how I feel, I can't say with any certainty what I will or won't do. Either way, I need to get off this poison before it robs me of any more of who I am. I've just read it literally decreases the size of our brains after 36 weeks by over 1% and up to 10%, which is far more than the average human loses in their entire lifetime. I'm upset, scared, feeling hopeless. Feel like I face an insurmountable task. Like I've ruined my mind, my spirit, my body. Just incredibly disappointed in myself. I mean I'm already incredibly anxious and depressed, I can't imagine things getting much worse, but here I am. Any hope, insight, success stories, etc...would be greatly appreciated because I feel like I'm ruined. Also a taper schedule would be nice. Ideally I can just do it in 2.5mg drops as I'd rather not deal with a syringe or micro-dosing. Thanks.

Here's my story: Looking to wean down off zyprexa and eventually ziibryd (SSRI), I have only been on these kind of meds since Aug 2021. Hoping to get off sooner than later. Battling some anxiety, restlessness and feeling numb, no emotion, not who I was before all this happened. Peace! I got Covid in August 2021, didn't sleep the whole time I had it. About 10-12 days in I went into what they call psychosis. I told people in the Emergency Room that God took His Spirit from me, I tried to jump out of the car, had severe severe anxiety at that time too. The ER put me out and I woke up the next day, they admitted me to the mental health floor. They put me on numerous drugs, so many I can't remember them all. I was sleeping at night due to the heavy medications, I was still agitated and battled anxiety. I know one medicine I was on was risperidone, resteril, a sleeping medicine and adavan as needed for anxiety. I was there for 7-8 days and then release to home. I was then seen by family doctor, she knew me because we lived in same neighborhood, she could tell I wasn't myself. She then wanted to ween me off of the risperidone, over the course of a week. That drug was horrible and I my body didn't like coming off of it, so much so that I was scared of people including my own family, I felt like I was on the "bad side". Had suicidal thoughts. I then was sent to another ER and went to a mental health facility and was there for 3 weeks. I was on risperidone and zoloft and mid way they switched me to zyprexa. After 3 weeks I got discharged and started 20 mg zyprexa in October and 150mg zoloft. I was also give trazadone for sleep if I needed it, well I quit taking that because the zyprexa helped with sleep. I have been at home since October and am now on 5mg of Zyprexa and 20 mg viibryd. I take several supplements- vitamin C, Magnesium, zinc, B complex, vitamin D3, omega 3 fish oil. My gut health probably isn't where it should be. Really do good to exercise everyday and eat healthy for the most part. I have to force myself to exercise. I used to really enjoy working out, hiking and etc. I have not felt myself since this whole thing started. I don't have any real desires, emotion. Looking to wean off zyprexa even more.