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  1. Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.
  2. Seeking advice to taper Olanzapine after two failed attempts Dear forum First of all, and after spending some hours browsing this forum, I'd like to congratulate you for the support you have given to so many of people in need. Please keep it up and God bless. To my story: After a breakdown following both work and marriage issues at the same time, I found myself in a psychiatry ward here in Germany beginning of June 2022. As I couldn't sleep due to trauma and compulsive thoughts, I was first put on quetiapine (dose unknown). I did sleep for a couple of hours, but after waking, my thoughts would be racing even faster compared to when I fell asleep. After discussing this with the responsible doctor, I was switched to olanzapine 10 mg. I left the ward with this dose beginning of July 2022. I was suffering from muscle weakness at that point (my only symptom as far as I can remember), but as I learned more and more about the long term effects of olanzapine, I decided to start tapering, always discussing this with a psychiatrist. September 2022 I went 10>7,5>5>2,5>0 in a weekly rythm. It all went smoothly until 2,5 mg, but 5 days after the last 2,5mg dose that I started feeling strange. Bouts of anxiety, chills, poor sleep, and finally, I stopped eating. Couldn't even force myself to eat. Eventually, I discerned that it must be withdrawal symptoms, and went back to the doctor. He confirmed, put me back at 2,5mg, and told me to hold for a month. Which I did, and I felt ok again. End of October 2022 I started the second attempt. I was to do a week alternating the 2,5mg every other day, then stop. Well, 3 days after stopping the last dose I started noticing my hunger go away again, as well as my sleep. I immediately went back to the doc, that gave me the option to go back to olanzapine, or take promethazine for the sleep issues. I first agreed to the promethzine and went home. However, I then decided to hold off for another two days, to see how things went, but well, things went down the drain. Acathisia, suicidal thoughts and a general sensation of doom came into the mix. I reconsidered taking the promethazine, as sleep was the least of my problems by now, reinstated the 2,5 mg olanzapine, this last week, which is where I am now. I don't think this second attempt went without leaving a mark tough. Before, I would go to bed at 9pm and fall asleep like a rock and slept through 6am. Now, I struggle to do so before 11pm and wake some time around 5 am, struggling to find rest again until 6am. I've also noticed something like I would describe as anhedonia for the first time, which I didn't have before. So, I would kindly ask for your support answering the following questions: 1. Have I sensitized myself already, given the new symptoms? What do you reckon? 2. How long should I at least wait until my next tappering attempt? 3. I understand the concept of a 10% taper by now, but would a 25% taper be totally off the charts, by cutting the tablets? I'm struggling the whole time thinking about the process of crushing tablets and making suspensions 4. To support the tapers, I started myself on 440mg valerian each night two weeks ago, as well as 30 drops 3x a day of passionflower. I had some heart rhythm issues that seemed to go away with this. How should I proceed with these two in your opinion? Hoping to hear from you soon. Kevin
  3. Hi everyone. Im looking for some sage advice. I have been on 2.5 mg of Zyprexa for about 2 years. I decided it’s time to get off this poison. It’s caused me to gain 60lbs ..it’s given me high blood pressure and worst of all it makes me feel easily overwhelmed.. like the flood gates have been opened on my anxiety and depression. Previously I was very Even keel , even under pressure. I was a great Multitasker, and really good at troubleshooting and problem solving. I DO NOT feel like myself anymore , I lack the ability to feel love, joy or happiness of any kind, and forget motivation. the only things I can feel are anxiety, depression and Dred. I WANT OFF! I don’t care how long it takes but this s**t has to go! I have taken myself off antipsychotics before but usually right after a hospitalization. Because if I was stable I wanted off the meds ASAP. I did this with resperidone and with paliperidone. I was fine for 4 years… then 5 years before having another “episode “ . For me, an episode is being awake for days on end until psychosis sets it. They can’t fit me into a Schizo affective box because it doesn’t happen often enough or without lack of sleep. And they don’t think bipolar quite fit’s either because I’m not “manic” I’m simply awake.. feeling like I have electricity buzzing through me. I can be awake for days, physically, exhausted, and sleep, just will not find me. So the solution was ( of course ) Antipsychotics. Not addressing my sleep deprivation… or trying to find out why my heart would race every time I tried to lay down .. waking me up every time I even attempted to sleep… No , they just fed me antipsychotics. Because in all of that information all they focused on was the psychosis. knowing full well that anyone who goes without sleep for long enough will eventually go psychotic. But they take advantage of your weakness in these moments. Making THIS our only way of fighting back. It’s infuriating and disheartening. ( sorry for the rant ) Anyway, that’s the history. If you’ve experienced something similar I’d love to hear from you. ok back to Zyprexa. so I ordered a very expensive tapering strip protocol from the Netherlands and 3 days in I was right back in my danger zone. I was up for 3 days straight before I Reinstated at the original dose of 2.5. Luckily that did it, and I slept like a rock. Now here’s the tricky part … in those 3 days the dose was only reduced by a total of 4% overall. ( this was supposed to be a hyperbolic micro taper ) And my nervous system could not handle a 4% reduction!!! Now I’m terrified. I know now that I have to go even slower but I’m unsure how to do it now. I’m thinking about a micro taper of .001mg like I’ve seen people do for benzos, only holding for a week instead of trying to reduce every day. Im not crazy about shaving and weighing pills but I’m not really sure what other option there is at this point. there’s very little information out there on the intricacies of antipsychotic withdrawal. Even the newest information from Dr Horowitz doesn’t address the need for micro tapers.. their smallest increment being 5% which is obviously to much for me. So I have come here to gain some insight from people with lived experience. I need REAL help. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks everyone.
  4. Am I in the right place to ask about advice to taper medication as an advocate for my husband?
  5. Hi all, I had a toxic break in mid 1990s. Was self medicating due to unresolved childhood trauma. I wasn’t coping with how difficult my life had become. I wasn’t making wise choices - but not all of us in our early 20s do… Parents called crisis team and I was told by psychiatrist I had a chemical imbalance and would require endless drugging. I replied I know my life is out of whack - I’d read R.D Laing at uni and asked if there was somewhere I could go to get help sorting everything out properly without the chemicals. “No.” My parents believed the genetics/chemical imbalance myth. I tried stelazine and mellaril but the akathisia was instant and felt awful. I stabilised without them for some time. I had a couple more toxic breaks and in 2003 my parents arranged a forced admission with the same psychiatrist. I was shot in the arse with god knows what. I had bad akathisia and they gave me cogentin. I was supposed to have skin ointment nightly as well but half the time the orderlies just couldn’t be bothered with that even when I told them it was part of the regimen. Not reassuring. After two weeks I was out of there and my father demanded I take the prescription if I was to stay with him. At no stage was a physical done. I would’ve been malnourished to say the least - couldn’t afford decent food. I moved away with friends, took 10mg olanzapine daily and became obese - ugh. It was a pretty relaxing time though, which helped. I was able to return to work. Later on I came back and my mother helped me get diet and exercise happening to lose some weight. Thank heavens I didn’t have an office job then or it wouldn’t have been possible. I lost 30 kgs. Keeping it off is hard though with the olanzapine. I tried risperidone for a couple of years to lose weight but it was of marginal help and was more uncomfortable to take. I asked the psychiatrist since I’ve been stable for many years can we look at getting off. “No.” Do you ever work with addressing the root causes with therapy? “No, we don’t believe it affects this.” I discovered yoga which has been enormously beneficial and I’d recommend to anyone. I wish I’d listened to my aunt and done this when I was first having issues before my break. Exercise is another must. A few years ago I had an abusive neighbour move in next door who beat his de facto and he wasn’t friendly to me either. Somehow my psychiatrist thought this would be a good time to try me on aripiprazole. At first it was liberating as I had much more energy but that rapidly turned into overstimulation and anxiety. I switched back. I moved away from the violent neighbour. The two nice things I’ll say about the psychiatrist are a) he didn’t stack me on multiple drugs and b) he was ok with me setting my own dose…to a point… I was easily able to get down from 10mg olanzapine to 7.5, then 6 2/3, then 5 with a pill cutter within a year. So my script was now for 5mg. After some time I tried 3 1/3mg and it was obviously a no-go zone. I just hung out on 5mg for a bit longer. I found a clinical psychologist who helped me with the usual family patterns, boundaries, spoke to trauma, helped with relationships etc. This has been very beneficial and I drink much less after that. A friend observed “I think you could get off your meds”. I was skeptical but started researching. This was an eye-opener: https://www1.bps.org.uk/system/files/user-files/Division of Clinical Psychology/public/CAT-1657.pdf It was validating my initial understanding that this was all about how I wasn’t coping with trauma, rather than innately ‘broken’. This was the first document I gave to my mother who was initially terrified but is now supportive of me coming off. I discovered Peter Breggin, reading “Your Drug May Be Your Problem” in horror. But it was empowering as well. His book “Guilt, Shame and Anxiety” helped reduce my anxiety substantially. He has a newer book “Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal”, which I also recommend. There is Peter Lehmann’s “Coming off Psychiatric Drugs” too, which is valuable but a harrowing read! I told close friends and some family what I was doing. Having a safety net is the way to go. Over five months I was able to taper down from 5mg to 2.5mg by agitating a crushed tablet in a known volume of filtered water, then removing a gradually increasing portion with a large syringe (no needle!). I came down listening to my body 0.1 or 0.2mg at a time then holding for a few weeks. It was a bit of a bumpy ride but have been able to hold down my job and relationships ok. Not that it’s pleasant or easy, but it is navigable. Thanks Rhiannon for sharing your experience on making suspensions of the compound in water. I hung out at 2.5mg for six months or so. This is the smallest tablet size they sell. My family and friends have been commenting on how much more ‘with it’ I am, able to join them in more nuanced conversations again. This is extremely welcome and I realised how much I’ve been missing despite having a lot of good people and things in my life already. I took my mother for moral support and went to see the prescribing psychiatrist (same one all the way through). I started explaining that I was prediabetic, had high cholesterol, was having (apparently undiagnosable) joint problems and rheumatism, getting allergic rashes (I saw the other day the NPS web site advises people with this reaction not to take this drug!), getting hot flushes and unable to stand heat (pretty hellish in Aussie summers), and more. He didn’t want to hear about my plan - his reaction: “Keep taking it.” I said as if that wasn’t enough, what about TD? He said “Oh, it’s not that bad.” I was glad mum was there as a witness to this appalling advice. I asked him for a script for 2.5mg but he said “It’s too low. I can’t support this. I will not see you any more.” Good riddance! I got the script from my sympathetic GP. Many of these horrid symptoms have reduced or abated with the lower dose. Some remain. Fatigue is a bear. The stragglers are just a waiting game I suppose. My clinical psychologist has been supportive the whole time and confirmed my essential stability during the reductions. Her reaction to that was “well, if he says 2.5 isn’t enough, yet you’re stable, it’s a good sign that you can probably do without it altogether”. I’m now working with a clinical psychologist on the trauma I perceive as the root of all the major issues. If I’ve learnt one thing, it’s that you have to take charge of your own healing. No one else can do it for you. Shop around and find supportive crew who will back you up - they’re out there. Breggin observes that signalling helplessness is what lands you in hot water in this rather unhealthy society. I’m continuing my taper, coming down around 2mg olanzapine at the moment. Thanks to this site I’ve found the importance of the compound taper and have made a spreadsheet to manage it. I'm doing a microtaper - it's going reasonably at 10%/mo for now. It's not comfortable and some days at work are hard. But I know it's worth it. Looking at the receptor occupancy curves for olanzapine I found via this site I can see I’d already be over half way through the dopamine adjustments. That would explain why I’ve got more animated for a bit after each cut. This initially concerned mum but she’s now learnt about withdrawal symptoms. The 5-HT2 curve lies ahead, for the most part. So this could take another year or two - I’ve been poisoned with this garbage for a long time. Better though to ride it gently down and not hammer my body too much, or destabilise my life, for the best chance of a good outcome. Despite every day wanting to be rid of it ASAP. Epsom salt baths and yoga are helping me a lot. Thanks for creating this forum, Altostrata. Before the net, I probably would’ve just concluded 3 1/3mg wasn’t enough rather than learning about the taper, and been stuck.
  6. Hey all. Though as I write this I feel relatively healthy, I prefer to quit anyway. My history of this treatment is long, tough and spans 6 years. Started with Sertraline and anxiety which led me to develop psychotic symptoms, though very few of these symptoms - 1 or 2 to be exact. Either way, I suspect my diagnosis is off the mark or entirely wrong because I've had friends tell me I am healthy and family members tell me it's been 2 years since they saw symptoms of my "chronic" illness. Strangely, if we diagnosed me according to DSM and other books then I would just barely qualify for a psychotic disorder in the past, but totally not in the most recent 2 years - I got better. Anyway, as of today I settled on Zoloft 50mg and Zyprexa 15mg (brands of Sertraline, Olanzapine). These are totally ok for me. Or so I thought! Here is my plan. Blood tests came. I have high prolactin. Remains to be figured out whether this high prolactin is from sertraline or from olanzapine. All I am sure is that I definitely have poor libido and some anhedonia which are typical for high prolactin. Better if it's sertraline 'cause I may keep on taking olanzapine in that case. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, since I believed these drugs to be 100% safe for me. How do I plan to come off these drugs, and will it go well? I will just persuade my doctor to give me a tapering plan. This is my own tapering plan based on my experience and how these drugs work with my body: Sertraline, month 0: 50 mg month 1: 25 mg month 2: 0 mg Olanzapine, month 0: 15 mg - month 1: 10 mg - month 2: 7.5 mg - month 3: 5 mg - month 4: 0 mg Cheers!
  7. Hello I recently withdrew from two psychiatric medications, Zoloft (Sertraline)and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after a 15 year forced dependency which started when I was court-ordered to take them in 1998 for depression. In Feb. 2014, I finally quit the pills for the 4th and final time. The withdrawal symptoms were quite severe, probably similar to those of heroin, only instead of the people who care for you trying to help you get off the drugs, in the case of psych meds., everyone is dead set on you continuing to stay on them. I went about 6 straight days without sleep while trying to get off the pills, constantly throwing up all over my apartment (my parents had to bring over a steam cleaner to clean up all the huge piles of vomit, while at the same time admonishing me to go back on the meds.) I developed extreme lightheadedness. When I would turn my head to look at something it would take a moment or two for my field of vision to catch up. I suffered from those brain shocks which I thought might be some suppressed memories of the many rounds of ECT that were administered to me, against my will, back in the mid 1990's. I nearly died on a couple of occasions during the withdrawal as my blood sugar levels plunged so low that I was forced to crawl to my kitchen and shove wadded-up pieces of white bread soaked in either oyster sauce, fish sauce or salad dressing (for proteins and sugars) into my mouth to avoid collapsing on the floor, but somehow I did it, I got clean. I had kicked the pills cold turkey three times previously (twice in 2004 and again for 10 months in 2005-6) only to be put back on them. The last time in 2005-6, I had been given the choice of either taking the pills and being given a bed in a local group home on a 0° F January evening or else to go rough it in a snowbank (I had been evicted from my apt. after falling a month behind in rent). The pills (Zoloft originally at 200mg that on my own advice I scaled back to 100mg at the time of my withdrawal. Zyprexa originally at 17.5mg that I had reduced to 10mg) basically ruined my health. Within a couple of years of starting on the meds in 1998, I had gone from a lithe and slender 6' tall 160 lbs man to a portly 230 pounder,, with all the weight gain going into my belly and thighs (Blech!). My cholesterol and triglyceride levels tripled. I had copious amounts of diarrhea daily. My blood pressure was absolutely wrecked. When kneeling down or squatting on my haunches, at say a grocery store or maybe a bookstore, to look at something on a low shelf, upon rising I would start to nearly black-out or swoon due to massive head rushes and would have to hold on to shelving for about a minute or so until I regained my vision and sense of balance. And from about 2006 on, I became no more than some sluggish, gorging hibernating animal that slept between 12 and 16 hours a day, sometimes as much as 20 hrs a day (watching T.V. was my only other occupation) where I would hardly more than move from my bed to the couch only to fall asleep 3 hours later for upwards of 4-6 hours, sometimes for as much as 10 hours. I was sleeping so much that when I woke, I often had no idea if it was early morning or late evening. I would have the most awful and depressing nightmares of being strapped into a dentist's chair while doctors would be cramming every conceivable pill down my throat in an attempt to kill me. The sedative-like effects of the drugs, combined with a horrible and untreated case of sleep apnea due to smoking and a severely broken nose as a teenager, left me completely fatigued all the time. I usually only left my apartment once a week to stock up on groceries. Since the harrowing experience of withdrawal, my health and spiritual well-being have greatly improved. I began a 4-6 mile a night brisk walking regiment and starting biking between 10-20 miles a day which resulted in me losing 45 lbs in 3 months. While before on the pills, I could hardly stay awake, now I can barely get to sleep. My insomnia is sometimes so bad (3-4 hrs of sleep a day, often none) that I resemble a real live? zombie (I call my condition, Inzombia) but considering how low my spirits had been on the pills, I'm just happy to live an active life again, even if I do suffer bouts of sleeplessness. I've spent several hundred hours since early last year either volunteering picking up trash from local parks and lakes or else helping out at a local thrift store and my creative spirit has flourished. I have filled something like 15 fifty page notebooks full of my poetry (both of a serious and humorous nature) and have written many short pieces of memoir, one of which is entitled In Servitude to the Devil, and is about my nearly indescribable and entirely hellish experience in 1995-1996, when for six months, I suffered from brain damage and akathisia brought on by the forced administration of Resperdine, Prozac and Paxcil. I thought I might end this piece with two short poems of mine The Psychiatrist His pills amount to fool's gold; his lab-coat: starched and anti-sceptically white He professes to be a doctor, but he's a neuro-nazi in my sight. A Reflection On Our Times So much lust and vanity under the sun Surely God is our pariah as we have our fun.
  8. Hi. I was at psyc ward after psychosis and my sleep was not perfect so i was put on zyprexa. I accepted to get out of there. I was on 20mg 2days then 10mg for 10days until i was released. When released I stopped cold turkey and and waited 3-4weeks before withdrawals came. Worst was my complete insomnia.. didnt sleep for 7 days so i had to reinstate. I went back on last dose 10mg. Immediately i felt it was a bad idea but i had to sleep. i tried to taper it off over a month. I had all side effects you could think so finally I just stopped again and used sleep pills to beat insomnia. Problem now 6months later(stopped oct2015) is that i still have insomnia. barely sleeps at all(1-4hrs) What advice do you guys have? From what ive read, this forum advice me to start on a small dose and taper from there am i right? I really dont want to reinstate since it slmost killed me but i dont know how to solve this either..
  9. I was looking for something else and ran across these articles. Apparently there has been an association for nearly 20 years now that anti psychotics, especially risperidone, used long term can be a potential cause of pituitary tumors. Recent studies are firming this up and finding an association. Great 🫢 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30531551/ https://journals.lww.com/psychopharmacology/Fulltext/2012/12000/Atypical_Antipsychotics_and_Pituitary_Tumors.1.aspx https://corporate.dukehealth.org/news/antipsychotic-drug-may-be-linked-pituitary
  10. Hi, I have no psychiatic history. I was forced on zyprexa after an external stress reaction waking me up with high blood pressure and pounding heart beat, pressure feelings in the brain, need to urinate often and a fear of what was happening to me with these severe physical reactions. Having no idea I gussed maybe poison at first but with doctors finding nothing I thought perhaps sudden electrical allergy due to the new 5G test nets I read other people were worried about. I didn't know I was that stressed and that that could be the reaction. But that's what I think now. Being unable to sleep for 6 days and finally desperately trying to sleep outside of the city to avoid radiation I utltimately went to the psychiatric ward to get sleeping pills I got the diagnosis psychotic symptoms and they wouldnt let me out even though I felt okay again after first night off sleeping with medicine they gave. Initially they tried to force me on 20 mg zyprexa but agreed to 10 mg after a negotiation. There was also benzo and a sleeping pill they put me on but I have succesfully gotten off those. They wanted me to stay on 10 mg zyprexa when I was let out after two weeks and they said I should continue the medication till next appointment and they gave me 4 different other medicines to use if I felt I needed (benzos etc). I had gone from being a person having no medicine at home to one having the whole bread box filled. I never used any medicine but zyprexa though. On next appointment they said I should stay on zyprexa till next meeting again. But after a month they finally agreed to give me a tapering plan and I wanted as quickly as possible since I dont want to be on medicine in general since I used to be a healthy guy without. Also I really didnt think I was that sick, just had a long term stress reaction. They said it nothing bad with this medicine, just protective. I got the plan 2.5mg down every two weeks. During this time I read that the drug causes brain atrophy and was very scared of being on it and why the doctors had told me just the opposite. I followed the plan with biweekly check ups and finally I got to 0 mg, but sleep disappeared after two days. After two weeks of 0 mg with no sleep instead, anxiety, tremblings sweating, pressur in head, burning inflamed feeling etc I became more scared of what was happening to me then I was of taking another pill. I called psychiatric emergency and they said I had to go back up to 5 mg. That not working I tried 7.5mg and then 5mg with a sleeping pill too. But I still got no sleep. They said it was the underlying illness that was causing problems now. I said I slept 12 hours on 5 mg before going to 0 mg and they changed subject. Also I didnt think I had an illness just a stress reaction initially. Having searched for info myself the tapeing I got seems more like a cold turkey. Having been on 5mg for a while with sleeping pills that also didnt give sleep I weaned off the sleeping pills and also started weaning zyprexa, still scared of atrophy, but careful to go much more slowly having searched for my problems and read this forum some. Sleep wasn't returing so no point being on high doses I felt. Also my trust in their "health care" recommendations is not really 100% percent after this. Im not sure I've ever slept since december last year but Ive gotten less tired after getting up duing the days so by feel 0-4 (assumed) hours while also getting down to 0.12 mg zyprexa. Approximately 10 days ago I jumped to 0mg again (6 months past) and felt ok for four days, but the 5th day had diarrhea and spasms, burning sensations and only 1 hour sleep instead of lets say 3 that Im used to, 6th day also head ache increasing and 1 hour sleep. I called sick from work thought maybe it was covid. Being very scared to lose my sleep even more permanently I went back up to 0.12mg for two days in case it was withdrawal and last night 0.25 mg due to spasms and restelessness in bed, I almost called emergency psychiatric care but got 1 hour sleep finally with the dosage doubling. And now we're at today. I hope I can stay on 0.25 mg tonight and stabilize. What should I do? Im considering calling the pro's again but this forum has seemed to have better methods as far as I've read. What should one expect when dropping to 0mg even from a very low mg? Im thinking maybe I should never try 0 mg again and just stay at 0.25mg or so. I don't fear use of zyprexa so much at these low leves. Or if health allows some time from now taper to 0.06 mg (smallest plausible part for me) and do it every, then every other day, then every third? is this a viable super extended low end taper? Should I jump up to a higher mg now? Thanks for any support than I've already gotten from reading some here. Theses were my tapers just prior to going 0 the second time (4 mar 2020) 0.63 mg 21 day (25 mar 2020) 0.31 mg 16 day 0.41 mg 36 day (had to go up and stayed till I felt like maybe 0-4 hour sleep again) 0.31 mg 10 day (26 may 2020) 0.25 mg 12 day (7 june 2020) 0.12 mg 8 day Thanks
  11. Short introduction, I'm pyr23 currently living in the netherlands. I've been taking medications since I was 19 and have quite a host of diagnoses. Most accurate is schizo-affective, I've been struggling this like most others here for quite a while, unfortunately after 25 years I now know it's a lifelong thing. My last try for getting in a better place involved a rediagnosis for Autism, in which it it might be possible to live with another medication structure. This didn't really work out since I'm actually way to old for that. I see that now as a midlife crisis from an old psychiatric patient. We can't all have a fast car and a young girlfriend, but we can go though another diagnosis, just for old times sake. If you're young please try and keep up and keep your meds as low as possible. For some people full recovery will be possible, and the younger you start the better your chances are. Try to make space for yourself financially with family and all other support you can find, if you're in a good place try to see what is possible.
  12. bloomseine

    Bloomseine

    Hello, I was prescribed olanzapine 10mg three years ago for postnatal psychosis. I have experienced side effects from this so they kept me on it sometimes upping my dose. I was also put on sertraline two years ago. I am now on 10.7mg of Olanzapine and 100mg of sertraline.I plan to lower my olanzapine 5% every two weeks until I get to a lower dose of 2.5mg then I will lower my sertraline before coming fully off the olanzapine. I have not yet discussed this with my doctor I will ask him to prescribe me a lower dose every three months when I see him as he does not agree with me coming off of it completely.
  13. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  14. I took zoloft for 16 months came off in march with a way too fast taper. Tried to reinstate and things never got better. Was having bad suicidal ideations that led me to the pysch ward, they upped my zoloft, added buspar and trazadone. My thoughts got way worse and was having internal urges to harm myself. Went back in they yanked me off and put me on zyprexa 5mg. Thoughts got a tad better not a huge difference. Came home, pysch weaned me off put me on lamictal, i got the life threatening rash had to quit cold turkey, restarted zyprexa, on it for 8 days started a slow taper. Now im down to 2.8mg tonight and working on weaning off. But my slow taper is going to take quite a long time to come off. It was making me severely depressed. My mood has improved some since tapering. Any ideas or suggestions? Im doing 10% every two days. But I want to speed it up as I havent been on it long qnd with my slow taper I wont be off until end of July. Thank you!
  15. I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital. I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months and after that zoloft for 2 months. Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment. 5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs. Is there any hope that my brain will recover?
  16. Hi everyone, I have been a member on this site for awhile (can’t remember when I joined). But I have never posted. My journey of tapering from Lamictal has been a long one of starts and stops. My original dose was 200mg (started in 2009ish). I started tapering in 2015, and I am currently on 100mg. I have no idea if Lamictal ever did anything for me, I was diagnosed with depression in 2005 after a miscarriage, which was devastating. I was prescribed Zoloft (if my memory serves me correctly), and then went off Zoloft when I was pregnant in 2006, but went into a tailspin, had a hospital stay while pregnant, went on other meds and after the birth of my son, was first prescribed Lamictal, (along with Cymbalta, which I successfully got off) My provider at the time thought that I had 1 hypomanic episode (because I stayed up late cleaning 1 night) and diagnosed me with Bipolar 2 depression. I never believed this diagnosis. I have 2 questions/concerns 1) what if I was kept stable by the med? And what will I be like off of it? I’m so scared I will fall apart without it and I won’t be the same person, or have emotions I can’t handle. I know no one can answer these questions but I don’t know where to go from here. I want to be medication free. 2) I don’t know the best method for tapering and I am mathematically challenged. Do I just continue to split pills (and use my scale) or use a liquid taper? I did see the tapering schedules and calculators, I have difficulty downloading the calculator. I guess I’m just looking for success stories and comfort, with these difficult decisions. Thank you
  17. I have always suffered from Chronic Depression. 3 years ago, I got a drug induced psychosis from weed. My psych put me on 25mg Zoloft and 5mg Zyprexa. As the psychotic symptoms disappeared, I wanted to taper the Zyprexa because it made me a zombie. My psych told me to taper from 5mg to 2.5mg. Almost immediately, I didn't sleep for 4 days straight. I was crying and desperate when a friend gave me half a xanax for one day, and that seemed to let my sleep schedule to return to normal somewhat. When I wanted to taper further, I was told to cut it in half, but when I tried, the pill disintegrated. So, my psych told me to just take it every other day. It was absolutely hell again for a good 2 months. I got severe insomnia and rebound depression as withdrawals. I continued tapering like that. When I got to once every 3 days, I got so depressed, I went to the partial hospitalization program, where they switched me from Zoloft to half of a 75mg tablet of Wellbutrin IR every morning. But, the tapering cycle of hell continued for 2 years. Now I'm taking it once every 4 days and I developed really bad Akathisia. It seems to come in waves and has been progressivley been getting worse with every wave for last year. My new psych says it was stupid to skip days, and thinks the Akathisia is from the Wellbutrin IR. She wants me to start taking the Zyprexa every day and cut it in half, and to switch from 37.5mg of Wellbutrin IR to 150mg Wellbutrin XR. My question is, should I do what she suggests, because I feel like I'll lose a lot of taper progress and all the suffering until now was for nothing. I almost want to just go cold turkey off the Zyprexa and deal with the withdrawals. Or, if I reinstate it every day, how much should I do it by. Also, would I benefit from switching from Wellbutrin IR to the XR version. I recognize none of this is medical advice, but I would appreciate advice from anyone with knowledge or experience. Thank you
  18. Hi,Im a new member.Last night i reinstated 2.5 zyprezza as my dr took me off 2.5 cold turkey and i have been sick for 7 months.In a fortnight he wants to reduce to 1.25mg.I have heard to reduce by 10 per cent.Would it be ok to go straight from 2.5 to 1.25 after 2 weeks of use.I just dont know what to di
  19. Hello: I am new to this forum. I am tapering zyprexa. I was put on 10 mg in the hospital at the beginning of December. In the first week of January, I cut down to 8.50, then 7.5. for 10 days. Right now I am at 6.25 mg, and have been at that level for 1 week. They decided to put me on zoloft in the hospital as it "works fast" the doctors said, and is being used "until the zoloft kicks in". I am very impatient to get off zyprexa, and figured if I join your group, I would get support from people to help me be patient and wait enough time between cuts. Still figuring out how to do the signature. Will add it when I do. I am also on a whopping dose of 200 mg Zoloft, also given in the hospital. Before that, I had been 6 months free of Zoloft after tapering it for at least 3 years or even more. It was a huge disappointment to end up in the hospital and to have to go on it again.
  20. Hello fellow withdrawers (if that's a word), I'm Bokart and I'm here on a journey to quit my medication of Olanzapine. Down to 7,5 mg at the moment (see my signature). My story short: back in February 2015 I got admitted in psych ward due to psychosis (due to my destroyed sleep because of my night-shift work). There began my involuntary medication of Olanzapine, which pulled me out of a psychosis, so at least it did some good. I was released from the hospital after two weeks of being there. Now, after jojoing with my olanzapine dose (see signature), I'm finally set to quit it for good. I found this community after searching for succesfull withdrawal stories on the internet and found this community to be great, people being helpful and supportive and giving good advice... I know it can get rough when I approach smaller doses so I do know I will need support. And hopefully I can give support too and offer people hope after and during my taper. I know lots of people are in the same boat as me. Why I want to quit? I got no sexuality anymore, my motivation lacks big time, even personal hygiene is suffering because of that. I can't memorize things like before - learning is difficult. I have very little emotions left in me, basically I'm a dumbed down version of myself nowadays with this drug. I have little social skills - which I would badly need because I plan on working with children in school so some situational awareness is needed (I might have to quit my studies due to me making no progress in my studies... due to this drug). No happines, no enjoying things, lethargy and demotivation... About my psychosis, after it was gone I haven't had any symptoms of it returning (like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations), even after trying to quit my drug cold turkey once, which I see as a good sign. Now I don't want to slip into psychosis again so I need to be extra careful with my taper. After I hit 5,625 mg I will go on tapering by feeling, so no reductions until I feel stable enough. My main concern is sleep. I have a prescribed medication of temazepam (a benzodiazepine), which I can use when my insomnia has hit a threshold of needing immediate attention. I'm trying to limit my use of it to every three days to prevent tolerance and dependence (I know benzodiazepine withdrawals can be bad). But the thing is, lack of sleep led me to psychosis once, so it is a big deal to me. I need at least one night on a while to hit at least 4 hours of uniterrupted sleep, which 40 mg of temazepam does. I've tried many other sleep aids such as low to medium dose of quietiapine (no effect), low to medium dose of levomepromazine (didn't help), low dose of doxepine (no effect), even melatonine and l-tryptophan and 5-htp and none of those helped. One thing that helped me though was phenibut combined with temazepam - I slept 13 hours with that combination! So I know I have an emergency brakes on my train now (assuming that combination works again, haven't taken phenibut in 2 months to avoid tolerance and dependency), but I'm planning on limiting the use of this combination to once a month. On this dose of 7,5mg I'm currently having 2-3 hours of good uninterrupted sleep plus 3-4 hours of bad, constantly waking up kind of sleep So, thank you all for being here! And I wish a speedy recovery to those who are withdrawing from their drugs, we are all here together.
  21. Hello all, I'll start this off with an introduction on how I got here. (English is not my first language) Back in June 2017, I tried Mushrooms (psychedelic) for the first time and unfortunately had a bad trip. It lasted for about 4 hours and after that It wore off. A week later I woke up with heart palpitation, a very weird feeling (now I know it was derealization),stiff neck and a weird feeling on top of my head. At that time, I had never heard the word "Anxiety" in my life and didn’t know that I was experiencing panic attack. It got worse and turned into health anxiety and some kind of checking symptoms OCD. I saw multiple doctors and they first gave me Clonazepam which I took for a month and then I stopped it because I heard it might cause addiction. Then they put me on Gabapentin which cause me feeling my skin is burning which lasted almost 3 months. Then I tried Lexapro for two weeks which was my first exposure to SSRI. I stopped it because it made me more anxious. I almost gave up and was bedridden until in 2018 one doctor who was very famous put me on a cocktail of 25mg Clomipramine, 20mg Paxil and 2.5 mg Olanzapine. This was the first time I experienced depersonalization, completely out of body experience, very scary but because of the cocktails I was numb to my condition. He insisted on staying on the medication and I did. I got better after two months, and he stopped Olanzapine and after 6 months I stopped Clomipramine and increased my Paxil to 40mg. I was fine for two years and then I decided to tape it and come off it. It took me almost a year to be off the Paxil with no withdrawal at all. 4 month later in 2021 out of nowhere I started to have the same weird head feeling like there is a heavy weight on my head, my eyes were blurry, stiff neck, tinnitus, clogged ear and… So I freak out and was searching for herbs to calm my anxiety, I tried St John Wart and then again my DP came back with severe OCD. I have been checking every single word, thought, and any body sensation in my mind to see if I feel normal! (if that makes any sense at all) So after a month of struggling again I went to the same doctor and he put me on Paxil 20 and increased it to 40mg in 2 months. It got me 100 times more anxious, sever DP/DR, severe OCD, almost lost my mind. Then he decided to decrease it to 20 and follow the same cocktail that worked on mt last time by adding 25 mg clomipramine. I got better but not so much so he stopped Paxil and increase clomipramine to 75mg. I was still struggling with DP/DR, OCD and anxiety and he decided to try Lexapro and bump me to 20mg in 2 months. At this point I gave up on my future and my health, and was just following whatever he said hopingto see a minor improvement. I was getting worse by day and then I started to tape myself to 0 in 11 months. Unfortunately, I found your group late and now I am experiencing all possible symptoms including: DP( I don’t know if it is DP since I don’t have the out of body experience but I feel disconnected from myself, my wife and my mom, OCD, complete emotional blunting, head pressure, weird head feeling like all my head muscles are tight, tinnitus, migraines, neck stiffness, pins/needles, light sensitivity, tooth ache, a little anxiety which is weird like I am numb and doesn't even feel anxiety anymore. So that’s about it, sorry for long introduction and hope someone can help me and guide me through this time.
  22. I am in the process of tapering off zyprexa. I started zyprexa in 1996 and and was on 10mg until i decided to start reducing in October 2017 . I reduced it to 7.5mg for a year, and than 5mg and in April 2020 i began 2.5mg. Have been on 2.5mg for 4 months now The only thing i find difficult is the lack of deep sleep and the pain in all my joints...the pain in my joints only started happening since i started on 2.5mg..Also lower back pain, first i thought it was from my bed mattress but i changed beds and no relief...and i havnt injured myself in anyway....all i can put it down to, is my reduced zyprexa. Also since reducing it to 2.5mg i have been getting face sores...always had good skin up until then...so thats a problem that annoys me.. I am planing on staying on 2.5mg for the next 6 months and than try and taper at 10% reduction each month over 12 months to zero.. i want to do it slowiy as it affects my ability to sleep. I have to somehow figure out how i can taper off so slowly as what i have read is the tablet it isnt soluble in water...I live in Australia and am looking at compounding labs to find out if i can somehow have it done...I have been on this drug since 1996 and i am over it...i am doing it on my own with no doctors apart from just getting my repeats from my GP (not a psch doc). any advice would be most appreciated. cheers
  23. Hello. I am wanting some advice on withdrawing from the drugs I am currently on. I am taking 60 mg cymbalta, 5 mg zyprexa and 7.5 mg mirtazapine. I would like to withdraw from all 3 at the same time. Is this possible
  24. Hello, I am Shors and I am in very bad spot and have an extremely serious case due to Zyprexa misuse, and pre zyprexa insomnia. I recognize that this case is rather complex, and that there are many aspects of this case that require me to see neurologists and such, but if you could take the time to read it yourself and provide your own input that would be great as I am very inexperienced and novice. I have had insomnia for about a year before taking zyprexa, and about four years before the original insomnia developed I was neglecting my sleep (mostly in high school). This, in total, five year period of worsening sleep created for me memory problems independent of olanzapine. I believe these memory problems are mostly due to a lack of energy from no sleep, as I've experience great improvements in memory when I have managed to get rest. So the neglect of sleep began in 2014, wake up insomnia developed in mid 2018, and I was sent to the psych ward in late 2019 to be put on zyprexa. I would say also that the memory problems started to happen around 2016, but I didn’t notice them until I got my first job in 2017. I was really terrible at it because it required me to remember many things at a time. I was in the psych ward for two weeks, and immediately stopped taking my cocktail of drugs except for the zyprexa (unknown dose) when I was released because it helped me sleep. I took the zyprexa for two more weeks but stopped, however, due to the terrible effects. I was completely unaware about the severe withdrawal effect of insomnia though, and if I was aware of It probably could have been zyprexa free at this point. I just didn't think that increased severe insomnia was due to zyprexa since I had already been experiencing insomnia before then. Attributing mainly weight loss and memory problems as the main problems to the drug, I would continue to unknowingly suffer withdrawal induced insomnia for the following months. In this period I would continue to work with my psych to get different sleeping pills. Ambien, Restoril, etc. and they did not work. The psych I was with (and am still currently with) was really careless, and he just played along and let me take whatever pills I wanted to take. In a new town and picked up a night job, and desperate to find any kind of drug that could put me to sleep, I eventually was prescribed one bottle (likely 10mg) of olanzapine again by the local clinic. I took it inconsistently, 5-10 days in between (since I was able to sleep fine in the inbetween days of doses) and sometimes weeks apart, but the one bottle I was prescribed then lasted a good bit. Eventually I could not take the night job after only four months working there and I moved back home. Without Zyprexa I suffered intensely, and for maybe a couple months after finishing that bottle I started to experience nausea and vomiting. It was at this time that I started to complain about the symptoms to my primary care provider, who never once thought that these could be withdrawal symptoms. She referred me to get mris done, neuropsych, all said that things were normal. I mistakenly thought that the nausea was caused by a circadian rhythm disorder and desperate to rid myself of these symptoms, I asked my psych to be put back on Zyprexa again (10mg). Back to the sleep induced memory problems, it seems as though for this entire five year period, whenever I do not get sleep or good quality sleep for an extended period of time, that I start to shut down. I become mentally slow, cannot socialize, unable to think, etc. and this is without zyprexa. For the period in which I started to experience nausea and vomiting for the first time, this is especially true. When I took zyprexa that time and got the rest I needed, it really helped and restored me back to working order. That did not mean I wasn't cautious about the effects, I took it only for about 3 weeks to give me my energy back and then began taking it inconsistently again. The main reason for the inconsistency (again) was to minimize the side effects, of weight gain and memory problems, and that I would continue to sleep well for some days after each dose. This continued to go well for me until around . As I've become dependent on Zyprexa, I have gotten less and less sleep over time, and slowly because of this my memory problems have gotten ever so worse. Up to this point, this would make about one year of total Zyprexa use, inconsistent or consistent, and I would say maybe 4-6 months worth of bottles. I believe that my memory, independently of zyprexa, has dipped to a new low, because of my memory I cannot enjoy music, movies, books, studying, socialization, or even work. This will greatly affect how I will start my recovery process from zyprexa. At this point I was deciding which options I would take for my recovery process. The options for me would have been this: Quitting cold turkey, would not have worked as I would have experienced terrible memory loss from the sleep deprivation Inconsistent tapering, this might have worked but my memory could have also worsened as I was sleeping less on the in between days of taking meds. Take zyprexa or a month or two to restore sleep and get some more energy Continuous taper Cross tapering by introducing other sleeping medications, doing this with an inconsistent taper with olanzapine would have added a world of complexity for me Quit cold turkey and then take other sleeping meds, but understandably this would end in disaster The option I eventually chose was to do a long continuous taper with a reduction of my dose of 10% a month, with making 5% reductions a possibility when I get to the lower doses. I understand that this might not have been the best idea when for my past years I have only ever been taking it inconsistently. I don’t really know how this might have affected me so some of your input would be welcome. I am down to 5.8 mg at this point and am continuing with this taper. My method of tapering involves crushing my tablets with a pill crusher, putting them inside gelatin capsules, and weighting the capsules on a drug scale. Making whatever adjustments are necessary by adding, removing the powder from the capsule until I get the exact weight measurement right. I would also have to reiterate that my memory problems are severe at this point. I forget many things in normal conversation when I talk to people. It's near impossible for me to read books or watch movies. I am getting a neuropsych test done soon. it seems like, even though I've had memory problems for a good 6 years, they only ever became a problem until these past 2 years, where I cannot study or do basic things in life. If I ever recover, a full recovery is not what I'm asking for. Just enough to let me have the quality of life I want.
  25. My Physiatrist wont let me taper by splitting my pills. She's having me take it every other day or every three days. I think this isn't allowing for a slow enough taper because I have already had one relapse after trying to go off.
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