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My Physiatrist wont let me taper by splitting my pills. She's having me take it every other day or every three days. I think this isn't allowing for a slow enough taper because I have already had one relapse after trying to go off.

Greetings, I am 22 right now, I am fortunate to be able to join your platform to find solution on my current life altering issue... To encapsulate, my story began in 2018 (17 close to 18 years old) when I was close to my the examination period and I had a predisposition to stress and anxiety, after the examination my mental health and energy deteriorated and after a subsequent diagnosis with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and the begin the administration regimen of Paroxetine 20mg...and that was during 2018-2021 ( at which timeframe I also took Zoloft during that time), was also given Xanax. Please note that I was kinda doctor shopping myself, given that I have to leave my Mother-Country Greece, to study abroad in the UK. So keep in mind that many things transpired during that span...at which I did go on and off paroxetine for a while. When Covid-19 hit I had to go back to my own country, and therefore my parents had more of a grasp of what was happening.. Essentially, my mother at first, did not want me to take any medications and even told me to withdraw from paroxetine after being on it for so long. Hence, it is not surprising that even the doc conducted himself accordingly... and by saying that I mean, he reverted to my mother's request with the most ignorant/malpractice-like behavior possible: just stop in like 20 days... To keep it short after 2 months of being off the Paroxetine, I developed some kind of withdrawal syndrome which precipitate in the faitful moment the next doctor, decided that the best way to tackle this issue, was to administer trittico and 2.5mg zyprexa, which I took for about 22-28 days.... Anyhow then the doctor, tried to poly-drug me again by adding lyrica(which i took for a while ) and also trying to purport effexor as another supplementary med... Moving on, my parents, decided that the best course of action was to get a second opinion from another of those inclined clinicians... so the next one was like, olanzapine is a dangerous drug, and he told me to CT it after 22 days of exposure, to which I complied with no resistance. After that he told me that I need to do EEG and after that he gave me welbutrin (also attivan/tavor) which i took for about a month or so before stopping it, because it induced even more anxiety and internal head- throbbing (for which I conjecture olanzapine was the culprit)... Anyhow, after that, it was decided that I should visit another doc, which i did after stopping the med. The next doc. told me that the optimal path was to put me on 200mg Zoloft which I took, till I developed intense, noticeable tremors in my face, which even my parents found very peculiar. For this reason it was decided to decrease dose and stay at 100mg before going back to 50mg which i stayed for a while. After that, my parents told me that Rtms abbreviated for Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation was the way to go. Consequently, I travelled by train to the northern part of my country where this medical intervention was available. After which 30 sessions (left lobe) for depression/anxiety and 30 additional sessions (at the top of the head) for OCD were conducted on me. It was not worthy it as i felt even worse after it, and developed a more pronounced headache and muscle strain in my neck and throat. After that, couple of months passed and since my situation only got worse and worse I went to 20 mg brittellix/vortioxetine and now for about 2 months I am at 40mg. The most prominent symptoms from my side are the following: 1) Cognitive deficit - progressively getting worse 2) Memory impairment - progressively getting worse 3) Anhedonia - no fluctuations 4) PSSD (ED can not even sustain it for a little while)- no fluctuations 5) Inability to connect with others/emotional blunting 6) Head pressure/ throbbing / Headache (rhythmic) - constant getting worse 7) Nausea and speech impairment Please advise if those syndromes are somewhat recoverable and my system can eventually normalize and revert back to its old self... Honestly I have heard stories of people like zelnick and Plshelp , Sofa and so many others that only got worse, which is quite perplexing, what do I need to do? I tried to persuade my parents to do an Qeeg or SPECT by the believe my OCD and "mental illness" are acting up.. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed with life ? and if those alterations which are stemming from SSRIs and also the brief exposure to Zyprexa/Olanzapine can be addressed and properly treated ? I believe my D2 receptors or dopaminergic system is kinda messed up, and that neuroadaptation failed or something. My dopamine/serotonic/muscarinic/histamine etc. receptors and genesis must be f-ed up. Awaiting your kind advise if there is any. Thank you in advance for your kind assistance.

I was put on 2.5mg of Olanzapine for racing thoughts/anxiety and as a sleep-aid. I was mostly taking 1.25mg though. I wish I had done the research before taking it!! I would have never taken it if I had known it would be like this, and cause such changes to the brain. So, I've decided to just stop taking it cold turkey, as I figure that having only been on 1.25mg - 2.5mg for most of the 3 weeks, and... (5.0 for 2 days near the end) it for 3 weeks total, it's best to just stop without adding length to the drug being in my system. The dose I've been taking is small also, however, I am very medicine sensitive. I'm so worried about side-effects from withdrawing... I was using the phone and laptop last night until 3am to distract me until I felt relaxed enough to try and get some sleep, which I eventually did at about 3.30am. I was researching all about Olanzapine withdrawals and looking at many videos people posted on YouTube regarding this. It was slightly comforting. I had very vivid dreams, as I have been having on the Olanzapine, only they somehow felt even MORE vivid. I can still remember the dreams easily enough if I try and this makes me feel anxious as I experience derealization/depersonalization every day I feel. I woke up a few times this morning. First at about 6am. Felt like absolute crap. Depression, comparable to the “come down” after a high from ecstasy etc. Managed to sleep again, even with an anxiety-induced racing heart, falling into that vivid dream-filled, seemingly shallow sleep. Woke again before my wife got up at 8am, but once again, managed to fall asleep before she left the house. It’s 12.15pm now, and I feel very depressed. I feel no joy and I have anxiety that is bubbling behind this cloud of depression. Obsessive, intrusive thoughts are frequent, and I don’t want to do anything at all today. I feel so very low. I find it extremely difficult to even write this, but I’m trying as I know it is something positive, to be keeping track of my progress. I really hope I feel better soon. I’m very nervous about what to expect. I feel like it can’t get worse than this, as I feel absolutely hopeless, with no happy feelings…I’m just so depressed. I’ve been thinking about trying Effexor XR, as I’m experiencing this crippling feeling of depression, and I’ve been feeling about the same way for the past 3 days, give or take. I actually started feeling this low after I re-commenced on Olanzapine 2.5mg after a 2 day trial of withdrawing from it after I took one 5mg tablet. I started feeling this low after taking that last 2.5mg tablet. Well, that’s all I have to write for now. I feel so low… (My question to people who have successfully stopped Olanzapine) - Will I ever feel ok again? Will I find the old me..? Is 3 weeks and the dose I've been on not small..? I was taking it for 3 weeks, and mostly (for about 75% of those 3 weeks) 1.25mg (splitting 2.5mg in half) along with taking 0.625mg (splitting the 2.5mg in half) as I’m very med sensitive and nervous in general about medication. UPDATE on DAY 2 of Olanzapine WIthdrawal It is now 5.10pm in the afternoon. I am still feeling depressed and have racing thoughts which are causing me anxiety on a high level. I feel like I have lost myself, and I'm afraid that I won't be happy again. This depression is so bad that I managed to talk to a psychiatrist in the day hospital and she prescribed Mirtazapine 7.5mg (taking half of 15mg). I really hope this will help me through this, as I am feeling rather hopeless and lost... Has anyone used antidepressants to ease coming off of Olanzapine? Thanks. UPDATE on DAY 3 I slept from some time after 1.30am while listening to a YouTube video. My sleep felt very shallow with vivid dreams, which I can't recall clearly now, but I don't think they were particularly good dreams. Woke up at 6am. Immediate panic. Still empty, no, worse... no feelings at all, just fear/panic. Perhaps this is due to my receptors being messed around with from the 3 weeks on Olanzapine? Is 3 weeks enough time to do irreversible, permanent damage to the brain? I wish I had some answer... I used my phone to watch videos of people's journey of withdrawing. I couldn't seem to find enough. I continued to watch videos until about 9.30am when I got out of bed with my wife. It is 10.20am now. I'm trying to remain active, even though doing things is just so difficult! I washed the dishes. I managed to eat a banana. My wife made me a cup of hot milk. Thinking about eating food makes me feel quite nauseated. I have zero appetite. My thoughts don't seem to stop. I wonder about the point of existence. Humans as creatures - what, really, is the point? I have depersonalization and derealization for at least 4 months now, and I think about every little thing I do or see... I'm just so tired and stressed! I'll continue to update. Thank you everyone, and I hope to hear some friendly people! Shane.

I’m having a very hard time with a withdrawal situation and I’m grateful this site is here. After dropping my Prozac dose to nothing, I came off 2.5 mg of Zyprexa last summer, very quickly. I tried to tough out the worsening withdrawal symptoms. I was getting manic until I became psychotic for three months.During the psychosis, I was often extremely restless, sometimes wanting to jump out of my skin. But I was also delusional and euphoric.When I got out of my second hospital stay, I was on Risperdal and Depakote. I’d come out of my delusional state, and was no longer restless, but I was still confused and just beginning to heal. Also, I didn’t have a psychiatrist, just refills. I’m sad to say that I was still eager to be off meds and thought I could titrate myself. I went off very quickly and, though the delusions didn’t come back, I soon became very agitated. I ended up messing with my meds on my own for three months. It was like I was trapped, unsure of what dose to take every night, wanting to stay on one dose but scared it was the wrong one. I was experiencing agony, including emotional fits and depression. I couldn’t sit still, and learned the word “akathisia.”I finally found a decent doctor who tried to keep me on a steady dose of Risperdal, as it could be worsening the akathisia, but I’d get back to a good place with it. When that didn’t happen, he switched me to 5 mg of Zyprexa, and, when that wasn’t enough, 10 mg (which I’ve been on a few months) That alleviates most of my suffering, but I still have trouble sitting still, reading, verbally communicating, and keeping my attention on one task. I also just don’t feel like the same person I was before this dreadful year, which is very frightening.Now my doctor isn’t sure if I have akathisia or agitation, or both. But my fear is how long it’ll last. I met someone who experienced this kind of condition for 10 years after coming off an anti-psychotic. I don’t want to be on 10 mg of Zyprexa that long, and I’m not even functional on that dose.Thank you for reading. I’m looking for some hope, or advice.

Dear All, I wish I found this website before. I had a psychotic break November 2019, I was put on 5 mg Olanzapine. It was reduced to 2,5 January 2020. I started to become anxious and in March I had a night when I couldn’t sleep and was shaky. I was put on 5mg again. It solved the problem immediately. In August it was reduced again to 2,5mg. First two weeks I was feeling fine, after that I couldn’t sleep and was restless. I didn’t know anything about withdrawal. I slept only a little for weeks. I really wanted to reduce the drug so I was holding on waiting for a relief. After a while I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed sleep so I agreed to go back to 5mg again. Now I’m back to 5mg again for five days but I’m still shaky and sleep badly. What should I do? Please give me advice many thanks

Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.

Ive been trying to taper off 100mg sertraline since September 2018. Was prescribed 100mg Sertraline in June 2018 for PND. I was previously on 50 mg in March 2016 for 17 months. second time round, horrific start up side effects, some symptoms abated, some have persisted. Mostly psychiatric, such as vivid dreams, racing thoughts persist. Ive tapered down to approximately 9mg, with varying success. Made a big jump in August and suffered, uncontrollable crying, racing thoughts, suicidal thoughts etc. Have been paralysed by fear to make any further cuts since August 2019. Ive found a pharmacy in the Netherlands that develop tapering strips and I’ve ordered the strips, starting with 2 months of 9 mg ( approximate current dose of sertraline). I’ve done plenty of research and I do believe them to be legitimate. However I’m very nervous to switch as this is a generic brand and my past history of horrid side effects and withdrawal symptoms. I know this is much more accurate that what I’ve been doing myself. Has anyone on this forum used tapering strips and should I be so concerned about switching from one brand of sertraline to another?

Hi everyone. So grateful to still be here to be here!! Been a long 30 years! Am hoping to titrate down from last 10 mg of Prozac using the liquid form. Does starting with the 1 mg a month make sense? See how it goes? Finish off 1 mg of Valium first? Yes, scared to let go of the last milligram of safety net. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Moments of regret for ever having gone done the med road, but so very ready to "heal" what only covered up....sound too familiar? Best wishes and thank you!! 1992 – 1999 Prozac 80 mg, Klonopin 4 mg, Buspar 1999 – 2000 Stop Prozac cold turkey 1 year. Hell. 4 mg Klonopin. 2000 – 2003 Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft. Cycle through each med. None work. Highest dosages. 2004 – Effexor, Klonopin, Zyprexa, Lamictal, Provigal, Sonata. Always high dosages. Don’t remember mgs…. 2005 – Klonopin, Lamictal, Seroquel, Anafranil, Luvox 2006 – Klonopin 4 - 6 mg, Prozac 120 mg 2009 – 2013 – Prozac 80 mg, Kononpin 1 mg (Titrate from 120 mg to 80, and 4 mg to 2 mg) 2013 – 2019– Prozac 30 mg, Klonopin 1 mg (Titrate from 80 mg to 30 and 2 mg to 1 mg) 2019 – Ashton Protocol. Convert Klonopin to 20 mg Valium 2021 – Valium 1 mg. Titrate Prozac 15 mg to 10 mg in 2 months. HELL. TOO FAST.

hi, Alto I went to a local pharmacy and they helped me to compound 2.5mg pill into 2.mg. but they changed it into a capsul form. would that make a difference. now my son is taking 2.5 pill and 2capsule. what you think. the pharmacist said it is fine.

I'm writing on behalf of my daughter (18) who has now been on Olanzapine based tablets for 2 months. She suffered a shock some time after graduation. At the time, she showed signs of being lost/not recognizing that her mother was present/wanting to go home. After a lot of discussions, we now suspect it was due to being withdrawn (something we unfortunately didn't see as a serious problem then), not being involved enough in external activities and mixture of feeling of not fitting in in high school,some issues about "looks",trying to find an escape on the web (lot of time spent) and overexertion in an attempt to pass each year. After this shock, we drove to the hospital to see what should be done. My daughter exhibited anxiety there and was put on a drip to get some energy and 10mg/day (night dose) Olanzapine based tablets. I'm working from home, so naturally I could follow my daughters progress closely. 10mg/day was a horror story - headaches, early morning anxiety/looked heavily sedated, invoking vomiting upon sight of food, felt that people she heard were talking about her, slight phobia of other people. After two days, of this, I saw that something needed to be done, but since I couldn't get in contact with the doctor in question, I took things into my own hands (but unfortunately without too much reading on the web) and cut the dose to 5mg/day. My daughter's situation improved drastically, and the doctor just indicated that that was OK. At that point in time, I just started feeling very uneasy about those tablets and the doctor - the issue with the high does just made me loose complete trust in that doctor. I called another doctor to get another opinion about the dose but was just given information which I felt was very similar to the present doctor. I then reduced the dose further to something over 3/4 of the 5mg tablet and took my daughter to a Psychologist as I felt the time and progress at the psychiatrist were not giving results. My daughter's situation improved further (less anxiety), but she showed more sensitivity to sound/light/smell and now has more of a phobia that people are talking about her and feels shame that she is visiting a psychologist/psychiatrist . I tried reducing the dose ever so slightly again (using a precise scale) .At this point in time, I had (unfortunately late) found out that decreasing the dosage should be done very slowly - so maybe I'm to blame for some of the side effects due to withdrawl. Yes, I did take things into my own hands without doctor's backing because I simply don't believe these tablets are helping my daughter unless heavy sedation is a solution - so I am looking for any way to get her off these tablets/ finding alternative solutions to her problem. My daughter is now at some 2.9mg/day - I would appreciate any advice as to who could help me with information on what I should do regarding the dose (I am keeping it at 2.9mg for now - although I don't see it helping) , sensitivity side effects and her phobia of what people think/shame (other than physiotherapy). Personally, I would very much like her taken completely off tablets, but would like to hear feedback from a doctor who doesn't take Olanzapine so lightly as the doctors I have met. I forgot to mention one important point / the side effects I mention seem to lessen as the day passes - so that by evening time, I cannot notice them on my daughter and her communication and reactions seem "normal" - another reason why I feel that she should be taken off Olanzapine. My daughter is supposed to start college next week and I'm not sure how she could be helped to cope with that. On the other hand, not attending, besides the obvious , will mean once chance less for meeting people/ helping her to get over her phobia.

Thank you all so much for all your hard work here! I am a 46 year old male. I was diagnosed with depression in 2005. I was prescribed Zoloft. A manic episode then ensued lasting about 6 months. I also developed insomnia and hyperhydrosis. I went to another doctor in 2006 who diagnosed me with Bipolar II. I was then preescribed Lamictal, Depakote and Effexor. I do not recall the dosages this far back, except the Lamictal (200mg) Around 2009 I began seeing another doctor after I moved. I remained on the Lamictal (200mg) discontinued the Effexor, and added Abilify (5mg). Around this time the insomnia worsened. I then was prescribed 2mg of Xanax and 25mg benadryl each evening for the insomnia. I was relatively stable (except for a string of toxic relationships) over the next several years and reduced the Abilify to 2.5mg. However the insomnia and hyperhydrosis still remained very problematic throughout this period. In an effort to find relief from the insomnia (At that time I believed that it was just a side effect of the Lamictal) I tapered myself (without a doctor) off of the Lamictal over a few months in 2017. I did not notice any withdrawal symptoms. However the insomnia persisted leading me to believe that the Abilify was also causing the insomnia. At this time I was taking 2.5mg of Abilify but only 2x per week, and still needed to take 2mg Xanax and 25mg benadryl. In 2018 I attempted to discontinue the Abilify and taper off the Xanax over a period of about 2-3 weeks. I suffered from moderate panic attacks and anxiety (presumably Xanax withdrawal symptoms) Those withdrawal symptoms dissipated. About 2 weeks after discontinuing the Abilify my sleep was restored to normal for the first time in nearly 13 years! However the hyperhydrosis persisted. Unfortunately I soon began to feel extremely unstable mentally and was forced to reinstate the 2.5mg of Abilify. The insomnia returned and I then started the 2mg of Xanax and 25mg of benadryl again. Throughout 2019 my insomnia seemed to progressively get worse. I did not want to take more Xanax so I went to another doctor who prescribed Olanzapine. I discontinued the Abilify and started taking 1.25mg of Olanzapine. At first I only needed 1mg of Xanax at night and discontinued the benadryl. Then after about only one month the insomnia progressively got worse. I reinstated 25mg of benadryl. Then had to increase to 1.5 mg of Xanax. I was getting really worried about the progressive insomnia so I decided to stop the Olanzapine (without a doctor) cold turkey and taper off the Xanax. This is when things started to get really scary. Symptoms of panic, anxiety and hypomania ensued after 3 or 4 days of withdrawal. And the insomnia was worse then it ever had been in my entire life! I was really getting scared. I reinstated 1mg of Xanax. Also increased to 50mg of benadryl and added 15mg of cbd oil orally for sleep. Also, It was around this time that I was doing research and discovered this website. After 10 days of being off the Olanzapine my sleep was still horrible. Dealing with withdrawal and almost no sleep suicidal ideations returned. I reinstated Olanzapine at 1.25mg. I have now been back on the Olanzapine for 3 weeks. My sleep has slightly improved. I am currently taking 1.25mg Olanzapine, 1mg Xanax, 25mg benadryl and 15mg cbd as needed when I awake in the middle of the night. I absolutely do not want to increase the Xanax. My desire is to safely taper off of all medications. The progressive nature of my insomnia on the antipsychotics has convinced me that remaining on them is unsustainable for the long term. Additionally the hyperhydrosis limits my ability to exercise. Strenuous daily exercise has proven to be one of the most effective ways to manage my mood. If I stand any chance of remaining stable without medication I must try to reverse both the insomnia and hyperhydrosis. Obviously I am sensitive to even the smallest doses of antipsychotics. From my research I am convinced the tapering strips from taperingstrip.org in the Netherlands is my best option for tapering off Olanzapine. Unfortunately I have not been able to find a doctor willing to order them. Can you recommend a doctor anywhere (preferably in the Western or Northwest United States who is cooperative with efforts to taper off antipsychotics?) I am a perpetual travel and have to ability to some extent to go to where the doctor is at. Thank you again for your help. Your work with this website may have already saved my sleep and even my life.

Hello there, how are you? I am a 33 years old french dude. I finished my withdrawal by tapering off since 2 or 3 months. I started taking this drug in 2012, because of insomnia due to a bad trip from a cactus named San Pedro. I started to withdraw myself from it in the beginning of 2016 and i finished the withdrawal 2 months. The more i advanced in the levels of tapering, the more i felt mental clarity and the more i had a good sleep (dreaming again). When i totally finished the withdrawal, i started having panic attacks, strange fatigue, anxiety, but, my sleep was even better. The more i lowered the dosages, the more i had mind clarity and the more my sleep was good. And, since i totally stopped the drug, even if it was hard at the beginning, it became more bearable. But, strange symptoms came back some weeks ago. It that normal? To feel better and then to have side effects coming back? I was exposed to stress, so, it could be the cause. Some months after starting the withdrawal (in 2016), i started to have pains in the body, inflammations, like fibromyalgia and it never disappear since. Because, i am really tired recently and when i think back, this strange fatigue started years ago and i now think i can associate it with a step level of my tapering off. I can totally recognize myself in the fibromyalgia symptoms (i have a lot of inflammations). I have weird symptoms since many years: -migraine -photo-sensitivity and eye tiredness -fatigue, tiredness -inflammations I took Zyprexa 16 years ago also, for 1-2 months, because of anxiety. And as the first migraine i had was after i took Zyprexa (not directly, but, after), i am wondering myself if Zyprexa would not be the cause of it and my photo-sensitivity i also had years after. I think i have fibromyalgia, etc, but, i tend to think more and more than Zyprexa could be the cause of my problems. I also have a lombalgia, one of my vertebra has recuced. I take supplements and try to go in the forest and do bare-footing, etc. I try to find all the activity and acts that could be good to the being and the body. I feel better sometimes, but my strange fatigue makes me stress sometimes and it accentuates the problem. Maybe the stress is the cause of the or a big part of the cause of this state of being. Well, see you, peace.

Hello Everyone! My psychiatrist provided me Zyprexa (20 mg) to divide and use PRN when "manic." I took one 10 mg dose, then a series of 5 mg doses over three to four weeks. Since my first dose, I have continued to experience brain fog, memory loss, and depersonalization. My family intervened and (fortunately) the total exposure was 55 mg (maybe less). My average daily dose was around 2 mg over the nearly the month I took it. The last 5 mg dose was on June 6th, 2022, this was when the tinnitus began but has seemed to improve some (though still present). [Withdraw Begin] Tuesday (June 14, 2022): I was lethargic and vomited after eating a meal, while experiencing loose stools. Slept all day after taking a Zofran. The timing of this makes sense, as this marks (nearly) four elimination half-lives of Zyprexa. Wednesday (June 15): Napped all day and my family went out to eat. I was very removed from the conversation, feeling trapped in my mind. After nearly 20 minutes, I just remembered that I went to the grocery store and package store. My anxiety began to manifest and only slept four hours that night with 10 mg melatonin. Thursday (June 16): I cannot remember this day at all (which was yesterday). I faintly remember being an anxious wreck having to pace. I entirely forgot that I went on a car ride with my mom. I woke my mom up in distress around 2:30 am to help talk me down (I thought this happened yesterday). I have no idea if I slept last night or not, if I did it was very light. Friday (June 17): I don't remember this morning. I think I sat anxious for hours until my mom gave me 30 mg of CBD. This seemed to help for several hours, allowing me to go outside and do some yard work to sweat. This, combined with the CBD, made me feel like I had improved some. This feeling has somewhat wore off three hours later. I am concerned with getting sleep tonight. I am feeling very hopeless. I reached out to my past psychiatrist which assured me nothing I'm going through is likely permanent, though I wasn't able to give him nearly enough detail. My current psychiatrist still has not returned my call. I have several questions (well, reassurances... I understand no one can tell the future): (1) Has anyone else experienced this severe of memory loss and recovered (preferably within six months)? (2) Based on my history (low total dose, short length of treatment, current symptoms), are my withdraw symptoms normal? (3) Would going back on a low dose of Zyprexa improve my recovery? I went off of the drug for the same issues I have now and would be skeptical to consume more. (4) My cognitive issues are seemingly worse without the medication in my body, is this normal? I began magnesium, fish oil, and stress B-complex today. I believe my brain will benefit from not staggering these. I intend on sweeting everyday. Fortunately, I have a very supportive family and do not have to worry about anything other than recovering (I'm 25 years old). I feel like in the past year, I have been robbed of my intelligence and personality. I was supposed to return to college in two months, but that is likely out of the picture. I am hopeful for beginning this spring in six months. I have read so many horror stories from Zyprexa causing lasting damage. Thank you all for your support!

I'll try to keep it short, I've been on zyprexa 15mg and citalopram 20mg for a little over 3 years with a few failed attempts at coming off. I've been cutting them in half for 2 and a half weeks and then I felt like that was just too fast and when to 3/4 of the normal dose. Should I go back to half doses since i've been already doing that for 2 weeks or should I just stay at 3/4 to be safe? Any advice on that/how long my taper should last before going back down in dosage would be appriciated as I feel my current doctor does not have too much knowledge of tapering.

Hi Everyone, I have been taking Zyprexa 7.5mg for 60 days and made an attempt to decrease my dose to 5mg 3 days ago. I took the 5mg pill a single time and I could not sleep that night. The next day I went back and took the 7.5mg pill and I still only got about 0-3 hours sleep since then. I'm seeking help for getting off this drug. I've read the Tips on withdrawing from Zyprexa thread many times over. My psychiatrist doesn't support me tapering so I don't think I have a chance to get the liquid form from a compounding pharmacy. I also can't afford an expensive scale. I was thinking about getting the orodispersible tablets and putting them into 7.5 ml-s of water. Then I would pull it up with a syringe and dispose 1ml every 2-3 weeks. Will this work? Has anyone succeeded in tapering Olanzapine this way? Any advice would be more than welcome. I'm very desperate to get off it and I'm really scared that I am having such horrible withdrawals even though I've only been on it for 2 months.

Hello everyone. Don't know where to start. Firstly excuse my english because it is not my native language. My first experience with psychiatric drug was with elicea in 2015 when I visited my first psychiatrist (can't remember the dose). Took it for 2 months then stopped cold turkey. Suffered severe depression and brain zaps for short period after that. I recovered. Also I took xanax occasionally then and in 2017. 2018 took xanax more often for like 3 months (never more than once a day, 0.25mg, maybe 0.50mg sometimes). Never suffered withdrawals after I quit. At least nothing that I am aware off. Fast forward to august 2018 I visited another psychiatrist and was put on calixta (mirtazapine), can't remember the dose atm. Took it until december or january when she got me off it cold turkey and put me on seroxat. Never had any problems until I started noticing double vision (ghosting) of bright letters and lights from a distance but It wasn't that bad. After like 3 months on seroxat she wanted to switch to zyprexa and diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. Keep in mind that I never suffered psychosis and was only depressed and unmotivated person. I had trouble with my insurance and needed to sorted it out first because it is an expensive drug. I quit seroxat first around april this year. Never had any problems except the double vision one. After I got my insurance in june I started Zyprexa. First I was on smaller doses (2.5mg-7.5mg) then i got to 10mg on september. I started losing interest in my hobbies and got very suicidal and depressed. She started me on zoloft around middle of october (first few days on small doses then on 25mg) and cut my zyprexa dose to 7.5mg. Around 13th of november (a week ago) I decided to quit both drugs and stop poisoning myself after a very fast tapper (few days). I am in hell since. I have lots of symptoms (most are probably from zyprexa because I took it for longer) but what I find worst is not sleeping. First I was very tired and sleepy from not sleeping but recently I am never tired and I probably don't even sleep one hour in total. It is scaring me. I always slept on my back but now I can't do that because my mouth make a weird noise and I start panicking. I am very scared and don't know what to do. I was thinking of tappering but going back to drugs scare me. I am afraid I will never sleep and my brain will detoriate. My god what have I done to myself.

hello there. i registered here to search for help for symptoms that are bothering me and that came after 15mg of olanzapine for 7-8 months. generally, i've been taking olanzapine for like a year or something, i started with a 5mg dose at 2015, after some time they upped it to 10mg, and then i've had a full-blown psychotic episode and i began taking 15mg. i was hospitalized and there they gave me high doses of 5 different medications. when i came back home, things just weren't the same. okay, that didn't bother me, i was still thinking that it's only a phase. then, month after month, i realized that that "phase" is actually... something deeper, different. so i searched about it on the internet; and saw that "antipsychotics destroy brain". i stopped taking olanzapine cold turkey, which was DEFINITELY a very bad idea. at first, i was very depressed, i don't know if it lasted long enough to be called a major depressive episode, but it was severe. i was full of guilt... but, the worst of it all - i couldn't feel a damn thing. i couldn't enjoy a damn thing. i was on a winter holiday and i'm a skier, but i didn't feel anything while i was skiing. yes, i could leave a bed, but i was doing it only because i felt like the world around me would judge me and criticize me if i didn't. people are supposed to feel happy, free when they're skiing, even scared. i didn't feel anything. i realized that i stopped caring about everything, so, you could tell me a good thing - i would feel nothing (sometimes it was even hard to fake a smile, because it was even hard to move my face). you could tell me a bad thing - i would feel nothing. i had a fear of being criticized, but now, that faded too. but that's okay, to be honest, it's much easier to live without the guilt and at the same time energy to do anything about the guilt you're feeling. and i wanted to feel things. i wanted, and not only wanted, but i still want to feel things. deeply. so i started faking reactions to things... i was like - okay, imagine you're a normal person who didn't go through this kind of situation. how would a normal, rational person react ? and then i reacted that way. i still do that tho, it became some kind of a habit. my concentration is very bad. my will is very bad. i have anhedonia and apathy. my cognitive abilities are awful. but i just can't seem to care. and you know, sometimes you feel bad for not caring about things. i don't even feel bad about not caring, i just don't feel a damn thing. i had a period where i was doing better and was motivated to recover. i still want to recover, but i feel like nothing makes sense and i don't know how to get out of this nonsense. if any of you found sense, can you please tell me how ? i know it's an extremely hard and long process, but i somehow believe that it's possible. WHY ? i went to the neurologist and spent a lot of money on some neurological tests, for example magnetic resonance imaging of the brain. guess what ? IT'S NOT THE BRAIN. IT'S PSYCHE. mind. mental. !!!!!!!!!!!! at least for me. tests can't and don't lie. i believe in those tests, even tho i have all the symptoms of brain damage, i surely don't have a brain damage because i have an evidence. the tests have shown that my brain is perfectly healthy, despite my mental disorder. i don't know about you, but i can recommend checking yourself just to be sure, it can ease the pain, even if you do have a brain damage or if you don't. if you don't have enough money, there are local hospitals where you can check yourself. so that's why i accepted medications and i'm currently using 10mg of escitalopram and i started few days ago aripiprazole 5mg. i'm willing to try things. i just feel so brain-foggy and that's stopping me from doing anything. and now, i'll go and search the forum for some advices from you guys, i will write here again. thanks if you read this. ...and yeah, sorry for a really bad post, i'm not so well right now. i'm glad that i became the part of this community, the feeling that i'm not alone makes me feel better. and it's hell.

Hi, I am a 27 year old male in India working as an engineer in a telecom company. At start of the year I had a brief psychotic breakdown from work related stress and consulted a psychiatrist. I was on olanzapine aripiprazole and fluoxetine. After a couple of months on the meds I started to notice that I was getting significantly worse and could not do my job properly, my mind became clouded and I was unable to think and slow to react. I started drooling in my sleep and hairloss began. In panic I decided to stop all medication cold turkey. The immediate withdrawal symptom was that I began to sleep 12-14 hours a day and getting off bed seemed next to impossible. Then slowly the tragedy began to unfold after a month or so. I started feeling so weak that I could hardly ever get off bed and go to office. Hunger vanished and I hardly managed two meals a day. Then I found out that music became unappealing so did movies and everything else including exercise that used to provide me relief from stress. I lost all interest in the opposite sex, cannot even masturbate to porn anymore.Orgasms are not pleasurable and sensitivity in my genitals is close to null. I am now basically an asexual being with nothing that gives me pleasure. Suffered severe weight loss. I feel trapped inside unable to react to the outside world. I have spent the last month searching for various means of suicide on the internet as I have nothing to look forward to in life. If you can't enjoy anything and always lie in bed life is not worth living. Also there's no chance of me being in a relationship or getting married. I can no longer hang out with friends, considering how different I have become from them, and can't enjoy anything. PSSD has made me more anxious than ever, with libido crashing to zero.

Hi. My story should maybe begin with med history I suppose. Back in 2017 I was hospitalized and put on trazadone, zoloft, and zyprexa. After only barely a year of this cocktail it was determined that I was too tired to function with trazadone and zyprexa caused an odd issue with blood sugar which required immediate discontinuation. After another year and a half of zoloft, I asked my PCP (primary care physician) to manage my meds and help me try something new. I was tired of driving to see my nurse practitioner, who formally managed them. My PCP suggested Paxil, and also placed me on imitrex for chronic migraines. She discontinued zoloft, she felt it was a low enough dose. Shocker. This was the end of January 2020, so covid was nearly upon us. After only one month of being on it she decided to bump it by 10mg, to 30mg. We also decided imitrex sucked so I got put on maxalt which I'm still on today. I felt as though it was helping me with irritability, which is a problem I've had for a long time. Paxil mellowed me out it seemed. It made me not really care much. All visits after February were done via zoom due to covid. In November of 2021 I was feeling at a wit's end with the increase in head pain frequency. Taking all 9 of your maxalts every month and having more migraines on top of it just sucked. I also was having more s******l ideations, I always have had passive ones but having more than usual was bothering me. She said she would add 10mg of amitriptyline because "it helps with migraines and mental health so it'll kill two birds with one stone". Well it seemed to help me sleep. However, I'd been slowly gaining weight while on paxil due to my low motivation and lack of caring... which I think amitriptyline just further encouraged. My pharmacist was a little concerned about the combination. She mentioned serotonin syndrome being a common issue, but my doctor said I'd be fine. Well I continued to just kinda suck things up, my fault, but I just really appreciated how chilled out I was. May 26th 2022 I go to my PCP in person because 1. I developed a twitch in my thumb, tendinitis from typing. 2. Because I finally got the courage to talk about my meds via pro con list. She determined the tendinitis, we got that fixed. However, when I wanted to address meds she actually cut me off and just started talking about my blood pressure and (obvious) 30 pound weight gain. This was the first time she's seen me since increasing the paxil, mind you. I understand her concern. My blood pressure was some kind of record high, I'll admit it was so high I couldn't believe it for my age. She said I needed to get blood work done asap and that after she looks at lab results THEN she will discuss meds. That Friday, may 27th I messaged her on mychart (she's nice about this) about my concern regarding med combination. I told her I was curious about whether paxil in combo with other meds could've been my reason for high blood pressure. She said "well, hold your paxil until you get your blood work and until I can get another blood pressure reading". LOL. I said sure thing, because what could ever go wrong. I got very sick, but got the labs done that next tuesday and sadly couldn't get my blood pressure done until that next Friday due to staffing issues at her clinic..I ended up having my work do it since we have nurses, and just messaged the bp read on mychart. Believe it or not my blood work was pretty emaculent. My blood pressure went down 30 points on systolic and 10 diastolic (idk if points if the right term) but still it was high. She messages me on Mychart that friday afternoon to say she got my results, and wanted me to continue "hold (not take) your paxil because I think it was affecting the blood pressure". Yay. She scheduled to see me June 10th to talk about a beta blocker if my blood pressure was still high. June 10th comes and she still wants me on a beta blocker, it's still high but going down slowly. I have tachycardia on top of it, so she was pretty concerned. I told her about my very horrible experience with paxil withdrawals, to which she said "you're the first to say that. I've never had a patient have a problem or get withdrawals from stopping paxil". So I said, well maybe I'm sensitive and reminded her about my zyprexa problem. I thought it kinda sucked to have her brush off my withdrawals that took two weeks to go away completely. =/ I ended up added omega 3 and magnesium to help with brain zaps, which actually helped me but I can't say how or why. She was fine with the new supplements and said I would now start atenolol (beta blocker). Scheduled me out to see her on June 24th. So I guess that's my story so far. My blood pressure is slowly but surely going down. I'm feeling more energy again, less headaches, less weird hyperthermia feeling, still some issues with motivation but still seeing small improvements. My concern is how my body will adjust to not having paxil in the long run. It very much wasn't good for me, and I feel bad for not getting it check out sooner but I really just didn't care enough at the time. It was kind of scary. I know CTing can have long term effects, but I also JUST started feeling somewhat normal again and don't want to go back to feeling addicted to paxil to ever return. I also just feel alone in this, if that makes sense?

Hello I am an Spanish 67 years old mother polydrugged for many years. I never wanted to take psychiatric drugs with problems of depression and psychotic symptoms like I don't have money to buy food. I was raised years after the Spanish Civil War. I don't think I need all these evil drugs I am in, Zyprexa,lithium carbonate, Anafranil and lamotrigine. I had multiple stays in psy wards where they changed me drugs or I CT them.My family took me there when I was bad like refusing to eat because I was psychotic. I want to come off of this dreadful cocktail. If not possible with all of them then with some. I think I kindled because of multiple CTs or irrational taper plans. Last time like 3 or four years ago I was forced to come off of zyprexa 15mg to 7,5mg. That is a huge drop. When they made that cut i could keep my back straight. I was like that for many months. I have arthrosis and osteoporosis. My last visit to my psychiatrist he suggests going to Zyprexa 5mg tablets. I was on 7,5mg of Zyprexa or Zolafren 7,5mg capsules here in Spain. I want to know how can I taper this awful poison with the least risks. Thank you for reading my story, Maria Casais

Hi all, found this forum via google searches many a night on how to cope with withdrawals! Like many others on here and I am sure everywhere in the world, I started on on anti-depressant and it just spiraled into larger and larger doses then multiple meds and meds on top of that for side affects. So a general summary was that I went to the Dr around 14 years ago for depression. I was put on Cymbalta 30mg straight off the bat. The side affects were unpleasant but I don't recall specifics of what they were, just that I did NOT like how they made me feel and I stopped them cold turkey. Withdrawals for several months of course, though fairly mild with major brainzaps being the one I most remember. Somewhere along the way I then went onto Mirtazapine. 15, 30 and then up to 45mg over a short period of time, maybe a year or so ramping up? Basically a result of going to the Dr, saying that I wasn't feeling the best on these meds, so they just increased them. I stayed on 45mg for probably 5 years or thereabouts. During that time my personality changed a lot (on retrospection I see how much). I became anxious, paranoid, ALWAYS tired, I started having panic attacks, grumpy, short temper making me snap at people for little, and isolated myself a lot. This went on for years. Each time the Dr would just tell me 'its not a magic pill' and leave it at that. Along the way my marriage fell apart and I moved to a new city. To 'cope' with the enormous increase in anxiety and stress, Dr gave me Olanzapine.... I took maybe 3 doses ever, as that stuff turned me into a zombie. I found a new doctor who I discussed how I felt on Mirtazapine and was switched over to Effexor XR. Ramped up from 37.5 to 150mg in the space of a few months. Generally felt 'good' but then noticed side affects that were persistent, sexual side affects galore, my BP sky rocketed, and hey look my anxiety was still very much around and panic attacks were a semi frequent occurrence. Dr's response was to switch to Paxil - which resulted in a heightened state of anxiety and rolling panic for days until I stopped them completely. Went back onto Effexor, despite the side affects and stabilized. Mirtazipine was then added to the Effexor for 'californian rocket fuel' - still anxious, still having panic attacks.. My BP was now concerning my Dr so was given a Blood Pressure pill, which then became two sets of BP meds, then three. My Blood Pressure still stayed high. Propranolol was added on top to reduce the heart rate and stress on my heart in general. This year was the hardest, I was referred to a psychiatrist, who every 6 weeks would get me to start a different drug. So I went from Effexor to Pristiq 50, then 100mg, Pristiq + Mirt, then onto Pristiq plus Seroquel at night (which made my anger turn into rage), then over to Luvox and some Respiradone and Valium to 'help' with the panic. Luvox basically kept me in a state of permanent nausea for 5 or 6 weeks - the dose was also increased to 100mg. So I spent around 4 months going through a cycle of drug withdrawal and startup over and over. I couldn't cope with being nauseous and feeling awful ALL the time anymore. At which point I had my next appointment with my Psychiatrist who just told me to 'just take half a dose for a few days and then stop them'. I asked that just ceasing any and all anti-depressants after FOURTEEN YEARS on them sounds very dangerous, she just shrugged. So I cancelled any future appointments with that practice, and after much research decided to cross taper from Luvox over to 15mg Mirtazapine and taper down from there. I chose Mirtazapine for several reasons - one was it stopped that permanent nausea everyday from the Luvox immediately, two it was a med my brain and body knew well and would tolerate almost immediately (which it did) and three i knew precisely what I would feel and how it would change me. After around 4 weeks of brainzaps and mild gastro issues as my body cleaned the last of the mix of drugs out of my body, I started to work my way down on Mirtazapine. Have currently gone from 15 > 7.5 > 3.75 with 6 or so weeks between drops. I will stay here until I stabalise again. So far the steps down have been very mild and tolerable (brain zaps for a day or two then fine), so my body is tolerating the 50% drops ok. 10% is recommended here, but so far for me personally its been ok dropping at 50% each time and stabilizing. The only noticeable (and expected) WD would be insomnia. My sleep quality has really tanked. Though interestingly enough despite low doses of Mirt meant to INCREASE your sleepyness, it has had little affect at all. So thats where I am currently at. I'm taking supplements like Vit C, Fish Oil and Vit B in the mornings and the small dose of Mirt at night. From here, I may need to look at a compounding chemist to begin tapering more slowly on the lower dosages, as cutting a tablet into 8th's is getting very difficult, even with a pill cutter. So the methods of diluting in liquids or a compound chemist will be the plan for the taper slow down (if needed) from here and my goal of being drug free hopefully within the year the final target.

Hi all, Where do i even begin? it all started when i was 19, I got hit with severe OCD and anxiety to the point where i wasnt eating or sleeping so I chose to go see a psychiatrist. My first Drug was lexapro.. took 10mg for 5 years, then I had another major breakdown which Led to Luvox 200mg for a couple more years. Last year june 2020 I had another major breakdown and this time was introduced to Anafranil and Zyprexa thrown into the mix. I first foundout about tapering and side effects one evening at work.. i didnt know why I felt so numb and bored all the time, i actually foundout by forgetting to take my meds for a couple days and noticed a big difference in mood, I felt much better without taking it.. until about the 3rd day i started getting brain zaps, then i did a whole lot of research and learnt about emotional blunting caused by ssri's... it was like pandoras box got opened. So now I'm looking to taper off, Zyprexa be the 1st one to go Thank you for the website

Took and stopped prozac and abilify with not much problem. Following ocd depression and a panic attack took them again. After a week constant panic attack and insomnia. Doctor gives lexapro(10) and zyprexa(5). A Week later i decide i have to stop. Tried tapering zyprexa but because of the ocd coming back failed badly. Took 3 months.Some kindling in the stopping process hurt me. Quit after like a 1 mg a week and at 0.6 mg. After 2 days at 0 mg i had very good energy just breathing made me smile. Then the energy decreased and 4 days later sleep problems started so i took zyprexa again 0.6 mg maybe. After two days sleep kinda stabilised so i stopped. 10 days later im worse than i started but not taking the drug is helping me cope. I pray i didnt do damage. Should i reinstate? Also currently trying to lower lexapro.

Hello is anyone currently tapering off 5 mgs of zyprexa or olanzapine using brass monkey sliding scale or microtaper? How do you do it with water? Someone told me you dissolve 5mg of zyprexa in 50 mL of water and do 2.5 percent reductions for four weeks then hold for two weeks. Is anyone else doing this? Or something similar? I’m still trying to figure out how to use this site and do my introduction but I don’t know how. Please any advice on tapering would be appreciated.

Hi, long story but I’ll cut it short. I banged my head accidentally 6 months ago & have spent alot of time alone & bedridden with a brain injury. I’ve had psychotic episodes since then & was diagnosed with either bi-polar or border line personality disorder. i was out on Olanzapine (zyprexa) 2.5mg at first then 5mg & now 7.5mg, I have been on zyprexa for a total of 24 days as of the 20th of July 2022. My anxiety is off the charts - I need to taper off Olanzapine & try Seroquel. Help! How much do I taper each week of the zyprexa & do I take the seroquel while I’m tapering the zyprexa? Thank you for your help bess