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Hello, I'm new here and I want to share my story. Sorry if it is a bit long. When I was 8 years old I had very bad OCD and was put on Risperidone for around a month. I don't remember feeling bad on it other that I gained a lot of weight. Now I'm 18 years old and back in June this year I had extremely bad panic attacks(it was my first time experiencing them, and they lasted for hours) because of exams and bad OCD and ended up in the ER 2 times thinking I was dying. There I was given olanzapine 2,5 mg (to get trough the nights to be able to take my exams). I can't understand how I was able to pass them in that condition. I ended up immediately in the ER after the last one. Then after one week I still had extreme anxiety because of fear of having another panick attack(I was experiencing them constantly) and I went to the psychiatrist looking for salvation. There the doctor still kept the 2,5 mg olanzapine for sleep and gave me 0,25 mg xanax a day, and escitalopram 5 mg. I still experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks for some time but the fact that olanzapine sedated me in the night made it bearable. Because of severe anxiety I upped my dose of Xanax to 0,375 mg. After one month of this treatment I started to have less symptoms(my headaches and dizziness dissapeared, my heart rate began to return to normal values, the feelings of anxiety were fewer and fewer etc) and I decided to get rid of olanzapine because I didn't like the sedation it gave me (12 hours of sleep) and other weird sensations(my psychiatrist told me to quit CT because it is low). One week after stopping it was great, I was sleeping good and felt more alive again. Then the horror began. I was getting insomnia(I would randomnly wake up around 2 am), muscle aches and burning sensations all over my body, extreme anxiety, nausea, bursts of crying and feeling I was soon gonna die because I couldn't bear the sensations. Then I began taking it again and I slept for one night. The next one I wasn't able to sleep even with it. So I started to lower the dose and bear all the feelings. I was on 1,25 mg about two weeks and 0,625 mg for almost 2 weeks. During that one month taper I began to feel better and better, I thought that everything will come back to normal, and I even lowered my dose of Xanax to only 0,25 mg a day. I thought it was enough for this dose that is considered low. It wasn't. After one week of taking my last dose of 0,625 mg olanzapine I started to have insomnia again, and starting to feel aches all over my body. I developed a weird nausea(which is unbearable at certain times) accompanied by constant restlessness, agitation, increased heart rate, need of constant movement, tension and severe pain in all muscles in my body, night sweats and tremors. I feel suicidal again because I feel I can't bear the pain these sensations give me. At this point the only thing keeping me alive is my mom. I'm only 18 and can't understand why I have to go through this nightmare. I've read a lot of information and came to the conclusion that this is probably withdrawal akathisia. The fact that people say this can last for months leave me feeling hopless. I was meant to go to college in another city, to start my life. I will lose my few friends if I stay home and I will not have how to socialise, but I don't have another option. Everyday it's a struggle, and I force myself to survive this hell. (This was written 3 weeks ago) I am now able to sleep decently even though it is a bit hard to relax before falling asleep and I tend to wake up several times in some nights. Muscle and joint pain, accompanied by severe muscle tension is still present almost constantly at different intensities trough the day(in the first 2 weeks of withdrawal I couldn't sleep because of the pain). I don't feel the urge to pace anymore as in the first week but I still feel very uncomfortable in my body. Another symptom that drives me crazy is the nausea that comes and goes, it feels like burning and extreme pressure. I also have an overwhelming feeling of internal agitation. I remember in the first week begging for death every second as I felt as my soul was tortured. I had very bad crying spells with my mom that suffers together with me(I remember saying to her that I cant take it anymore). I was so bad that I thought I will end up in the psych ward. Now I'm better emotionally but I still struggle with all the overwhelming physical symptoms(They are so intense sometimes that I wish I could cut my limbs off). I made a mistake last week and reduced my escitalopram to 3,75 mg(25% reduction) as I was so angry at how some pills could make me feel, but I learned that I should wait to stabilize before tapering more. I am currently on 3,75 mg escitalopram and 0,15 mg xanax. I don't plan to reinstate anything as that can be dangerous as well. It's hard to accept this new reality.

Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading

Community of Healing, hello. In December of 2014, just a bit more than 6 years ago, I came to this site after already weathering two years of nearly life-terminating withdrawal. I'd been on psychotropic medications for most of my life and in my estimation, my nervous system had decided it'd had enough. From February 2012 to approximately March of 2014, I felt I was literally living in hell. I was hospitalized twice, lost long-running friendships and new career opportunities, tried a plethora of medications, supplements, and herbs in an attempt to "fix" withdrawal, and ultimately came to the realization that pharmaceutical medications would not be the answer to my suffering. Pharmaceutical medications had been the cause of my suffering. And what my brain and body needed was support, tenderness, forgiveness, care and time... TIME... to heal. Benzodiazepines had been the first drugs I withdrew from. That was a brutal, nightmarish withdrawal, but relatively short-lived (acute @ 8 months). Tapering from Mirtazapine proved a longer journey, a much longer journey that I shared here. So this is my success story, my chapter-turning post. This is my declaration that I have been successful in tapering from medications that had deranged my nervous system to such a degree that I was scarcely able to operate in the world anymore. I took much time to make this declaration of success as I am by nature skeptical, and wanted to be sure that healing had indeed come - and come to stay. I feel that it has. I discontinued Mirtazapine, my last psychotropic medication, on June 15, 2019. There are still some echos of it that I deal with in day to day life. My issues with histamine intolerance I believe are directly attributable to Mirtazapine's affinity for histamine receptor occupancy. I manage this issue with dietary and exercise modifications as well as use of select vitamins and herbs. It is not life-deterring. It can be inconvenient and sometimes unpleasant, but it is nowhere near as debilitating as withdrawal itself had been. Despite posting this success story, I'm not going anywhere really. I am always happy to answer questions about my journey. When I was in the worst of my own withdrawal, the feedback from moderators and members of this community and elsewhere were absolute lifelines. Not that anyone could necessarily fix my problems - but I could walk away with sound, compassionate advice and if nothing else, the knowledge that my suffering had been heard, and that someone ultimately cared about me. Your suffering is heard, and someone ultimately cares about you. I want to thank @Altostrata and every moderator past and present for their kind forbearance, compassion, and dedication. I want to thank every member for their strength, endurance, bravery, and perseverance towards a healthy life free of the chemicals that have caused them harm. You all have something, many things, to be proud of. I believe in every human's potential to heal. Take your time, taper well, make the most sound choices you can, and know that healing is absolutely within your power to achieve. Hang in there, Dave

Excuse me if I'm being vague / chaotic, it's too hard to focus or think about anything, also I apologize for not researching much on the site, it takes a lot of effort just to type this and I'm too desperate, however I'll take as much as time as needed to follow through any reply / references I get, thanks in advance. It's been years and I didn't know the cause was antidepressants, I only remember a few names (Clonszipam, Fluxtonin[I think], Seroxat, Alprazolam..) I've been through 10 different doctors and each gave me a different pack of 4 meds, I don't remember many of the names since it was more than 4 years ago and I spent 3-6 months on each pack, I just remember suffering from 24/7 seizure symptoms, endless fear, and stomach complications, they're still with me till now, calmed down a little after 3 years of fighting, but I made a mistake an started Amitriptyline, and I'm getting complications each time I try to lower the dose (it's only 10 mg, and I get seizures whenever I go off it for half a day) Somehow my migraine med (Zomitriptan) eases most of the symptoms, doctors keep brushing off my pain saying I'm fine. Basically it was: 3 years of chaotic 4 pack prescriptions by 10 different doctors >> cold turkey withdrawal (because they refused to tell me how to go off the meds and I screwed up) >> withdrawal effects for 3 years, slight recovery after the long fight >> getting stuck with 10 MG Amitriptyline (reduced to 5 now) and getting seizures if I go off I'll add in any details when I remember them, My symptoms before Amytriptyline were: - Nausea (too heavy) - chronic fatigue (too heavy, hardly can stand up) - dizziness, lack of coordination, - full time panic - twitching in muscles, uncontrollable - mouth shivers like it's cold and it becomes hard to talk or stop it - seizures trigger after eating, along with psychological complications like extreme fear, anxiety and loss of coordination, I still have no idea why this happens, and it mostly happens if the food is dense / oily (even drinks trigger that) - too hard to think, focus or even read messages - full time fear - too hard to identify my pain type, source or symptoms (including the ones I mentioned, took me months to detect them) - unidentifiable heavy pain I hardly managed to overcome the seizures before I started Amytriptyline, but they were back as soon as I tried to withdraw Symptoms on Amitriptyline : same except: - extreme fatigue - sickness (as much as Sinus / Vertigo, I mistook it for them at the beginning, I'm using their med to relieve the symptoms - increased fogginess / separation from reality - loss of taste, and increased craving for all sorts of organic / liquid materials (including the most disgusting ones, I can't distinguish in terms of feeling) - decreased energy from the already low levels On Amytriptyline withdrawal : - Seizures, mild to heavy I guess - Suicidal behavior on extreme seizures, because I lose all awareness / emotions and only pain remains, feels like I'll only live pain for the rest of my life A few notes: - The symptoms I mentioned are based on my own research and I could be describing them wrong, for example I though I my "seizures" were simply "panic attacks" until I checked how panic attacks are and checked the first search result of "seizures" in Google, I still don't know enough about seizure types but I know that it's more than a panic / fear, you're welcome to ask me or correct me about any symptoms and / or their meaning - Doctors never told me any diagnosis, they simply threw me meds after a short interview, I was 18-ish back then and didn't know the risks of what they were doing, you're welcome to ask me about that part too since I'm not in the best country to get diagnosed

Admin note - link to benzo forum thread - serotoninsyndromesufferer: alprazolam tapering Hello, I would like to thank local community for sharing such important knowledge. Thanks to you, my understanding of things that happened to me is greater, but I still would appreciate some advice and reassurance. I am 28 years old male, sober addict (over 5 years without drugs and alcohol). I started a new life and thought that the worst part of my life is behind me. Some time ago I started working as software engineer and I started to be under big pressure, because I didn't have enough knowledge to do my work in a way that I would consider as a proper way of doing my job. I decided that I would break my rules and get some "help", which would make me more "intelligent". On August 2018 I started to take some brain-chemistry altering supplements, that is: Bacopa Monniera, Ashwaghanda, Alpha GPC, Small amount of Lithium and Fosfatidylserine. I found them really helpful and started to stretch my brain even more. On December 2018 I started to feel overwhelmed by negative emotions (sadness, guilt), which I found really weird because of their instensity. Instead of taking more care of myself I started to work and learn more than before, so the emotions of self-confidence and satisfaction pushed out negative feelings. On 5th February 2019 I couldn't cope with reality anymore. I felt overwhelmed by fear and sadness so much, that I couldn't even send a proper email without mistake. Unforunately, I had really important business trip on 12th February 2019 to another country and despite of my mood, I agreed to go there. In the meantime I wanted to find reason of my state and the most logic explanation back then was that choline from Alpha GPC induced anxiety-depression episode. I also read that anticholinergic agents can help go back to "normal" state. I felt so awful on business trip, that I decided to buy antihistamines to try get back to "normal". I bought a package of Piriton (chlorphenamine) and took a daily dose (24mg) in 4hrs, because of my addict habits and no knowledge about the substance I took. First day was ok, mild heart palpitations, next day I took daily dose in normal intervals (few hours). At the evening I started to feel extremely anxious and weirdly excited. I went to bed and in 30 minutes I woke up in terrible state. I thought that my brain was fried, I was totally paniced. I was shaking and felt total terror. I called my girlfriend, because I didn't know what to do. I managed to go through the night and next day at meeting in a horrbile state. Then I had a terrible trip back, I had to go thought 3 countries and eded in different city, because of delays. Finally I had to go to my city by bus, totally devasted and exhausted. When I got home I was still in super restless state, I tried to go to bed, but I woke up again in panic. I called ER and they took me to hospital. Nobody diagnosed serotonin syndrome and they did just simple diagnosis and gave me anti-pressure drug. I was so desperate that same day (16th February 2019) I went to see a psychiatrist, because I felt that I couldn't handle my state without drugs. He prescribed me fluoxetine 20mg once a day and some antipsychotic for sleep. I didn't know that my state was probably caused by serotonin syndrome and that ssri will make it worse. I took fluoxetine for 11 days (ended on 27th February 2019), which were the hardest psycho-physical days in my whole life. I was living panic with tremors, panic attacks, I couldn't sleep, but I was so exhausted. I decided to go off cold turkey and to start recovery without meds. It was really hard, my main symtpoms was severe dissasociation/derealisation, restlessness, forehead seizures with nightmare-like images, panic attacks, desorientation (woke up at night and didn't know where I am). I had to go to psychiatrist for sickness-leave and he prescribed me paroxetine with alprazolam this time. I didn't want to take any meds back then, but it soon changed. I wanted to recover really badly, I really wanted to have my life back, so I started excercise much and seeing different specialitsts to exclude any sicknesses. Excercising made things worse, because I excited my CNS even more than it was. Then I started to understand my condition quite better and had some accupuncture sessions, TRE and CBT. In the meantime I decided to take alprazolam for sleep, because I couldn't sleep much and my anxiety was too severe to handle. On 21st March 2019 I started to take 0,5mg of alprazolam SR to sleep, then on 30th March 2019 I increased the dosage to 1mg, on 6th April 2019 I changed to normal alprazolam 0,5mg, on 14th April 2019 I decreased dose to 0,25mg and yesterday (17th April 2019) I didn't take any. On 7th April 2019, I changed my mind about antidepressants and believed that everything that happened to me was because my anxiety and decided to take a try with paroxetine. I started from 10mg from 7th April to 11th April, then on 12th April I increased dosage to 20mg. My state was already really bad, so it's hard to say how paroxetine affected me, but at first I felt quite better, less anxiety and a little more willing to live. Then I started to feel side effects, nausea, diarrahea, muscle twitching, my head felt like it was stuffed. I still wanted to believe that it will help me in a long term and appriacted that despite of the side effects, my anxiety was less severe. On 15th April I started to feel mild serotonin syndrome. My skin was buring and itchy again, everything was too hot or too cold for my skin, I was sweating and feeling really tired and dizzy. I decided to take the pill again on 16th April, but it made things just worse. Yesteday (17th April) I also quitted paroxetine. Today (18th April) I haven't slept all night, I feel like a trash, I sweat, I have tremors, I couldn't sleep because of brain zaps and strange buzzing sound in my brain. My anxiety is still less severe, but I am just wating till serotonine in my body will decrease again and the withdrawal will show it's force. To sum up: Drugs and supplements taken: August 2018 - February 2019: Bacopa Monniera, Ashwaghanda, Alpha GPC, Small amount of Lithium and Fosfatidylserine 16th February 2019 - 27th February 2019: Fluoxetine 20mg 21st March 2019 - 30th March 2019: 0,5mg alprazolam SR 30th March 2019 - 6th April 2019: 1mg alprazolam SR 6th April 2019 - 14th April 2019: 0,5mg alprazolam 14th April 2019 - 17th April 2019: 0,25mg of alprazolam 7th April 2019 - 11th April 2019: 10mg paroxetine 11th April 2019 - 16th April 2019: 20mg paroxetine Most acute symtoms: - Restlessness - Agitation - Severe anxiety/ panic in behind 24h/7 - Brain zaps - Derealisation/dissasociation with panic - Insomnia - Grief - Lack of feeling of time (my timespan is about 3hrs, rest of things is just in my head as memory, but I can't tell if it was yesterday or last week) - Trans-like states (when I look at something too long/ the light falls at object I experience strong feeling of derealisation and for a while don't know where I am) - Memory problems - Detached from my personality - Forehead seizures (when I go to sleep, just before I am sleeping I experience feeling of panic/severe and dissasociation with bright light in front of my eyes) - Problems with 3d mapping (I have to be really focused to tell where I am exactly in my city and where should I go to reach the target) - No emotions (just fear, sadness and anger-like states) I would like to ask you: - Is this explanation of things that happend to me logic and probably true? That i suffered from multiple mild/severe serotonin syndroms? - Should I quit benzo and ssri at once? Is it bad if I took benzo for sleep when ssri withdrawal will be the worst? - Is there any person that would help me with the recovery and let me share my experiences with him/her? - Is there someone who also suffered from anxiety and got adverse reaction to ssri/ other drug? - What would be your advice for my recovery? - Do you identidy yourself with my symptoms? Did you have simmilar? I will be really grateful if you would answer my questions. Thanks in advance, SerotoninsyndromeSufferer

Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Frogie: W/D from Xanax am new here as you can see. I need help!! I'm hoping someone can help me get off 10 mg Lexapro. Every time I try to drop to even 9mg, I end up sick to my stomach. I go back up to 10mg and am still sick to my stomach. I have no other symptoms. In my profile is all my information, I don't know how to get it to the bottom of this page. I'm not very good on the computer. Sorry

Good Day, I wish I could say that my withdrawal symptoms from quitting Lexapro are the worst, but quitting Xanax takes that title. I have been off Xanax for two years and six months. The first day was the worst, the first year was the worst, and I am not feeling any Xanax issues now except waking up in a cold sweat every night since 2014. Anyway, I have not looked back or taken Xanax ever again. During that entire ordeal, I was still on Lexapro. I didn't quit it also because I didn't want to do too much at once. I finally quit Lexapro on the 25th of Dec 2016. Side note: To help me quit Xanax, I was put on Seroquel and Neurontin at rehab, and I gained 20kgs in 6 months which I am still trying to lose. I have lost half of it, but for some reason, my metabolism is no longer the same. I can't lose weight after rehab. I quit Seroquel cold turkey and tapered off Nuerontin. I took it for about six months and stopped when the weight piled on. Back to why I am here: The first month after quitting Lexapro was alright. Just brain zaps and nothing else really. I thought, "Wow! Quitting these antidepressants is very easy! I should have done it earlier." I was basing my experience on Xanax, which is harder at the beginning and easier with time. I didn't expect things to begin falling apart later, and boy are they falling apart. Month two drug free was also not too bad, but it was filled with episodes of sadness. Month three became worse than month two, and I felt withdrawn and my lust for life started disappearing again. Month four was worse than month three and I felt myself losing more joy, being darker than I have ever been. Month five, my current situation, is a hot mess! My anxiety is back, my depression is back, and actually they are back and worse than ever. My obsessive thoughts are back. Oh, and my sexual urges are back, after years of thinking that I might be asexual. The problem is, my sexual urges are disconnected from my emotions, so as horny as I am, I still don't feel like having sex with my husband, and the whole thing is making me panic for several reasons. My insomnia is back. I am weepy and frustrated. My pessimism is back. I hate life right now. My face is braking out and for this last week, I have been unable to eat so I also feel awful due to that, I am sure. I could go on for days about how awful I feel right now. I have not left bed for a week! I have made music though. Actually, I started having the urge and will to create music around month 3 of quitting. Before that, I though I would never make music again. So, there are pros and cons to this quitting, more cons than pros though, currently. I was thinking of going back on Lexapro when I happened on this website. I have now changed my mind. I thought I was just getting worse and worse until I end up committing suicide, however from the posts I have read, it gets better apparently, and none of my torture is unusual. I was suppose to start a family this year but now I have doubts. I would wait a year but I am 35 in three months so... I am taking, and have been for over a year, Magnesium (a high dose), Iron Fumarate (I have severe anemia), Vitamin C (a very high dose), Probiotics, L-Theanine, Vitamin B Complex and Vitamin B12 on top, 5HTP and Valerian, camomile tea when I have the strength to make it. Mood: Very Blue. Like in the pic.

Hi all, P.s english is not my first language I started taking 30 mg cymbalta back in june 2016 due to having panic attacks, OCD and depression. During the past 2.4 years things have been really amazing and i got so much better. in june 2018, i broke up with my fiancee, and in october i decided that i will stop the Medicine. I stopped in october 2018. And at the same time i left my job and become unemployed since then. I did not slow taper, took a 30 mg pill each two days for two weeks and then stopped completely under the supervision of my phsyicatrist. I have experienced brain zaps and dizziness which stayed for only 2 weeks and then went away, however, i have been living in hell since then, i have suicidal thoughts, severe depression, panick attacks, feeling of hoplessness and what really concerns me is heart pounding and extreme sensitivity to sounds and light. i need your advice, it has been now exaclty 3 months sine i stopped taking cymbalta. Should i return to it again and taper slowly and in a safe way? If yes, please advice me how to taper given that in mu country the minimum dosage we have in pharmacies is 30 mg. Thanks, Amira

Hello there everybody, I am Dara. Forgive my English, I grew up in Europe and not my first language is English. So I was on SSRI and other meds after being scare of pandemic and not wanting to leave house. So for two years I was on Lexapro and sometimes Xanax. I try other meds like Wellbutrin because Lexapro made me not interested in physical with my husband. But after I stop, have hed zap, headache, but still function. Few months later, I feel very strange, like I can feel no joy or love and thing no working right. I try maca, I try tea, I try yoga. Nothing happens and I get very scared and anxiety. i try other supplement that makes me very sick and not sleep and have tremor. I go to hospital, they put on more meds saying anxiety is much more bad, and I was on a few things for a month before having something like can't sit down at night and again no sleep and feel very weird like I am so angry and dark. I stop those meds and just stay on sleep med not benzo sleep med, but new one Dayvigo and Doctor add beta blocker. Things seem better, then again no sleep, and i worry so, stop Dayvigo. It was okay and I feel good, then bad again, but now, things seem to be more okay. Like a few weeks I felt more good and even happy. Sleeping some. Still no passion and not me, but can be calm and okay and do other things. Then some nights very bad, no sleep and scared. But don't want to change any more. So i am on Inderal- 60 mg. I been doing just okay enough to feel okay. Not working, not loving, but alive and getting better bit more. Not every day better, but looking back, trend is better like stock market go up even with dips sometimes. I okay I feel more regular, even though not me, so good, i can get better. Good enough for me for now. But lately i am very scared about other things happening to stop getting good and don't know what to do. Yesterday I got small punctor in my heel from furnutire staple on couch. It went in heel, I jump up and say OW and look at foot to see small drop of blood. So I wash and clean and call my doctor. He say last Tetanus was more than 10 years before. So I worry now, do I get this innoculation or not because it was not outside and not rusty but also I don't know. Doc says could do either way, get it not get it. I don't know. I don't drink alcohal, I eat pretty healthy foods. But I don't know what else is problem for this sichuation. I didn't think supplements make big problem and they did. I didn't think withdrawl was a thing and it was. So now I don't know- inoculation can make me feel worse and withdrawal again? I also worried about tetans! Don't want either thing or nother bad thing to happen again. I just need to get better. My question is, what to do about things like tetans inoculation and avoiding other things to get better. I look here for experience, but only few people mention tetanus and some okay and some not. i have this akethesia before, this insomnia, nerve issue, low feeling of void, and don't want to go back there now things bit better here and there. Any advise? ALso, I don't have regular menstruation. Few months nothing. Now, I got yesterday and I noticce week before felt worse again, like going crazy sometimes and feeling like worse times from before. So if i get inoculation I don't know what is withdrawal inoculation or period or all. Danke - Dana

I haven't post for a while here. Waiting to have good news to share with you, and now I have them. Recovery is happening very fast now. I am definitely turning the corner.Feeling much much better. I still have waves of dysphoria but they are short lived and most of the days are good or very good. The most important thing is that I am sleeping!! Some time ago I read here somebody saying "once you start sleeping you are on your way..." very true. To those suffering and struggling with this terrible condition, let me tell you, that recovery does happen. I tnink I was one severe case.But I am doing much better, and getting my life back.I am 63. Don't loose hope,eat well, be strong and STAY AWAY from psy drugs. Eternally grateful with SA and Altostrata. Link to Alex's story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3298-%E2%98%BC-alex-withdrawal-or-relapse/

**TW: mental health/“s” Hi all, My name is Sarah and I’m a lifelong AD user and have used benzos for 10+ years. Decided to be an idiot in a state of panic & quit both meds CT. Scared of being judged but everyone here seems nice & people on Benzos Buddies have been so kind. Current prescription: 2 mg Xanax XR/day 100 mg Zoloft/day Quit cold turkey 1 months ago & having awful withdrawal - severe anxiety/panic, neuropathy/crawling ants sensation in limbs, cannot concentrate, restless, suicidal ideation, SEVERE tinnitus/zapping in ears, brain zaps (separate from ears), etc. Went to Dr way too late (around 21 days in) and he would not discuss taper. Wanted me to reinstate no changes except dropping to 1 mg Xanax XR. Said I wasn’t withdrawing despite vomiting for days straight at the beginning. Said you can’t go though long withdrawal no such thing - tried to explain but was told I’d need to find a new Dr if I don’t reinstate as planned. Don’t blame bill entire I was non compliant and I’ve messed up w meds before. Was uncomfortable w/ his plan so made appt w new Dr. Problem is soonest appt is 8/31 - I should have tried harder to find someone else that had sooner appts. Psychiatrists are usually booked about as you all know but I should have tried. Have gotten variety of responses regarding reinstating benzos. Some say reinstate/taper, some say don’t get back in bc it’s been a month & kindling is a issues and you will have to go through withdrawal again w/ taper and it might not help symptoms would even make worse. Was told to post here regarding Zoloft since it’s an SSRI. Does anyone mind sharing their knowledge on pros/cons of reinstating and safest say to do it? Regret ever starting it was on Prozac and I was fine but experienced acoustic trauma which has left me housebound and my meds weren’t keeping up w increased anxiety. Went against junk guy and switched to Zoloft. I think it might have had role in spiking my tinnitus to insane levels when I quit. Might have been the benzos too. Was desperate for relief so I switched. Should have found another solution. Upset that no Dr said anything about me being on these meds so long. Had no idea Xanax was built for short term - why did they let me stay on and even increased my dose w/ no warning!! Thanks everyone, and I truly appreciate you and any advice you have. Afraid this will never end and I’m on the edge of losing it. Already housebound now it’s 100x worse. It’s self induced torture and I’ll never forgive myself for the CT. I KNEW BETTER. Best, Sarah

Hi. So, I had been having some health anxiety over 2021. It resulted in me getting a colonoscopy in November 2021. Leading up to it I had intense anxiety, a few panic attacks and perhaps even a nervous breakdown. The night before I woke at 3 am and had a panic attack. I really thought I was dying this time, so we called 911, and I luckily, not dying. During the procedure they did take a biopsy, and while waiting for the results (2weeks) I had very intense anxiety. It was benign. I'd had intense panic and anxiety for almost a whole month at this point. Around Dec 17, 2021 I contracted covid. It was pretty uneventful, but near the end of it I was waking around 5 am with adrenaline and diarrhea and I couldn't go back to sleep, this was creating anxiety in me that was getting harder and harder to control. So I went to a Dr on December 30 2021 who prescribed me Zoloft 50mg and Xanax 0.25mg. They were filled pretty fast and I took one of each as soon as I got home (around 1-2pm) I felt ok at first, but a few hours later all the side effects started. Irritable/uncomfortable, anxiety, nauseous, no appetite, chills, diarrhea, invasive thoughts that started pretty quick and intensely, and soon to find out - insomnia. I'd lay there with invasive thoughts and if I happened to drift off I'd be jerked awake and there was no sleeping for at least a week. I lived in a panic for around 2 weeks. I never took another dose of Zoloft. But I did take around 9 doses (some halved) of Xanax over the next 2-3 months. Sometimes to help sleep, but it was never worth it as I'd only get a 2-3 hours and then have intense anxiety the next day. It worked ok for panic during the day, but then I feel it intensified my anxiety for the next few days. I found some old Valium 5mg from a dental procedure, there were only 2 doses. They helped sleep some, but they left me feeling so sluggish, it didn't feel good. And it wasn't helping me sleep enough to want to try to get more, I was prescribed Restoril 15mg in April by a sleep Dr. I only took half doses 3 times. Again, it didn't help my sleep enough to ever make it worth it and just gave me bad rebound anxiety. Then I was prescribed hydroxyzine May 2021 (forgot about that when I wrote my signature, will add later). I've taken it around 5 times. It helped me sleep the first night, then not so much the next. Waited a week and tried again, it helped a little for sleep and calming, but not that much. It was mostly disappointing. Luckily it didn't seem to cause any rebound anxiety. But it doesn't help with much so I really don't take it. So, I did take my last Xanax around 1 month ago for a bad panic attack. And that was last time I took a benzo. My last hydroxyzine was around 1 week ago. My current symptoms are anxiety, depression, anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization (I'm never sure on the terms, it's the one where I feel like I'm in a dream, I can react to everyone normally and everything seems normal, but I just feel ... off, like I'm not connected to it all). Agoraphobia, I can push past it but it's hard and only if it's close to home or my husband and children are with me. Which really sucks because I used to love going out by myself or with my children, go on vacations etc... now I feel like I can't leave the house without forcing myself. This fear feeling is so horrible and there really is no reason, I just feel it. And intense insomnia, I can't fall asleep, can't nap, I get adrenaline rushes continuously as I'm trying to fall asleep, or less common are the hypnic jerks, and I wake early around 3-6am and can't fall back to sleep even if I've only slept for 1-2 hours. I like to think my sleep is getting better, as there some rare nights when I will get 5-7 hours. But those are followed the next night by not being able to fall asleep because of adrenaline surges. So, I'm probably only getting those nights from severe sleep deprivation, not that I'm actually getting better =( At one point I thought it was just anxiety keeping awake, but there have been plenty of nights I go to sleep with NO worries at all. I'm not over thinking or thinking of anything provoking and I still get the adrenaline surges at the point of falling asleep. It's seriously so maddening. It's going into 6 months since that day and my sleep is still not good. I thought it would last a few days, then weeks, then got my hopes for a few months. Now it's going into half a year. It started with panic and anxiety, but now depression is setting in and I just don't know what to do. I try to keep my hopes up, but it's so hard. I also have anhedonia and agoraphobia although I can push past it as long as it's close to home, but it takes a lot of effort. I do get some windows I stay home with my 3 small children and am not able to be the mother I want to be for them by feeling this way. Which again adds to the depression. So that's where I am. I hate that I took that zoloft and xanax. And for a long time now i was just blaming the zoloft. And now I've been wondering if the benzos have been negatively affecting me as well? I know I can't beat myself up over it. I try and accept my situation and believe that I will heal. But it's so hard and it all feels so dark sometimes.

As a 60 yo woman I took a hard look at my past life of various antidepressants since 1981 inevitably winding up with a 40 year RX drug habit, over weight and in pain. I'm active and eat health following an anti inflammatory diet w/ very little dairy or gluten and was just stuck physically. June 6th 2023 I made the decision to do a hard reset and stop My high dose Paxil and Deseryl and Xanax, not taper. As you'd expect the following week was of your typical physical drug withdrawal response, insomnia, loss of appetite, diaphorsis etc. What I didn't expect was that in the second week I started to feel an undeniable amount of strength returning, muscle coordination improvement and lack of pain. A high akin to a mushroom trip with heightened senses of pleasure, euphoria and an overwhelming sense of calm. I feel awake for the first time in decades. No unwanted thoughts or emotions, I have 40 years of coping skills and cognitive behavioral therapy in my arsenal. My gut health was the first to return to normal - there was No more bloating , constipation or abdominal pain. The chronic pain I'd been suffering with limiting my ADLs was GONE! And remains that way. I now have the flexibility of my teenage self and am back to practicing yoga on the floor with relatives ease. It's almost as if every cell in my being is undergoing a rebirth and is new again. The only side effect I have found unpleasant is scattered facial numbness which I'm hoping will ease its way back to normal as well. The 'electrical shocks' were an interesting side effect , it feels as though the nerves in my body are awaking again for the first time and I feel great. It's only been 20 days and I feel newborn and loving it... Finding this site has been a relief. There is No Support available for Antidepressant Withdrawl. It is not even discussed in the Healthcare industry. To entertain this thought process is considered non complainant , a 'behavioral' abnormality. I am in control of my mind, my body and my senses for the first time in my life ❤️

Hello- My name is Emily. I'm almost 27 & have been on the Celexa generic, Citalopram for close to 11.5 years. I was originally prescribed the drug as a young teen for major depressive disorder & severe anxiety disorder. Through therapy, time, & the edge the drug took off, I recovered. I have had seasons of depression over the last 10+ years, but never reaching the level of despair I consistently experienced as a teen. Within the last 5 years, I've tried to get off Citalopram twice before (once via tapering with my PCP & once cold turkey on my own) & I've been unsuccessful with both due to the intense withdrawal symptoms (brain zaps, migraines, tiredness, dark thoughts, etc.) when I reached a low dosage (0-20 mg). Through what I've learned about SSRIs, my psychological stability, prolonged time on the drug, & young age, I desire to get off Celexa once at for all, however, I need help. I don't feel that the medical professionals in my life that can support me well through this process given my prior failed attempts. Please help me safely & effectively get off this drug. Summarized Details I'm a 27 year old female & I've been on Citalopram for 11.5 years. I'm only on Citalopram (40 milligrams) & I have currently started the process of tapering & I've been on 30mg for the last 3 weeks. I'm nervous to decline to 20mg. Initially, I tried to jump from 40 to 20mg (I had done this in the past without an issue) & had brain zaps so I cut the pills to take 30mg. Over the past 11.5 years (2012-2023), I've toggled between taking 20 & 40mg. I have used Xanax "as needed" in the past but haven't used it in a long time. The longer I've been on the drug at 40mg, the more difficult it is for me to decrease milligrams. I've really struggled when going down to 20mg Please advise if there is any more info you need.

Hi there, I have been through polydrug hell, suffered insomnia after medical shock then given host of sleep meds but believe they caused paradoxical breathing or possibly withdrawals maybe from mix, was given zolpiclone and Xanax and no in breath when going into deeper sleep and would wake constantly? Has anyone experienced this? Continued and given mirtrazapine at morning time! Then amitriptyline which caused urinary retention stopped both, no sleep still so kept on Xanax and zopiclone, then stopped and the same scenario no in breath? If anyone knows what this is? I was then given Xanax to keep me asleep, never more than 1mg ar night only, would you have withdrawals from that if just at night? Panic attacks as no sleep only an hour or so, myoclonus, can’t sleep during day time jerks hypnic. Then started sertraline and hyperacusis started and Xanax still. Then went to psych hospital as wasn’t sure what was happening? Was treated horrifically told agitated depression, never had depression in life, we thing misdiagnosed badly, by power tripping psych as I challenged that. Given Effexor, then clonazapam at night 1mg kept pushing Effexor up, no benefit. I was so worried as they were leaving me on clonazapam, I was only taking at night, day was cut cold Turkey as I was too sleepy. No weaning. Then told take more at night! But got trazadone added 100mg and cut clonazapam to .5 from 1mg, hyperacusis back as had gone but worse than when went in! Effexor pushed up more, phergen added night and clonazapam cut to .25mg from .5mg, Effexor up at 150mg, hyperacusis unbelievable now! Odd as if was depression should the Effexor now get rid of hyperacusis? No benefit. Then told take more, 187 and I couldn’t sleep at all. Myoclonus so bad. Was left even though had bruising everywhere ignored amongst so many other symptoms panic attacks so bad, let out as insurance up, left in lurch, cut to 150 Effexor then 112 and hyperacusis worsening. Got public psych but she said thinks misdiagnosed but no disgnosis and said cut Effexor to 75 and hyperacusis was too much to bear I had to go back to 112.5 mg. What is going on, I’ve never dealt with drugs like this before and don’t know what’s going on and very bad care here, told hyperacusis ENT thing but ruled out but ignored. Hypnic jerks, sleep not great at all, panic so bad in morning feel in total trauma ptsd all time freeze mode. Treated so badly. No info given on anything when in hospital just ignored and wouldn’t wean me off clonazapam yet told me Im on addictive meds now for life! Can anyone help me on hyperacusis and what’s going on breathing at night and hypnic jerks. Breathing is separate than jerks, no in breath in deeper sleep stage. I am at wits end and no life. Left without help. Clonazapam Now out of stock. I’m on it still what left .25mg trazadone and melatonin now might, wake up in horrors. Is it possibly to have withdrawals daily? If low dose? I’m so confused. Pharmacist said possible, my nervous system in total disarray. The 112 to 75 was too much. Too fast just cut fast. Any help on how to cut as tried opening beads out but even that hyperacusis was getting worse? Please help me make sense of this all? Thank you. Is it trauma PTSD, withdrawals, as I am worse now than ever, do get some sleep which is good thing. But wake in horrors. All day panic attacks constantly no let up unless lying down. BP all over place. Get so weak. Have thyroid condition and period issues, fibroid and lot of blood loss monthly. Skin is so dry. Diarrhea all time, gastro issues, reflux. In such panic I just need some advice what May be going on? Thanks so much

Hi everyone I'm 22 years old now. I suffered from bulimia, depression and generalized anxiety since the age of 17 and my family got me help when I was 18 after I failed my medical school exams due to my condition. I was put on several medications ( Alprazolam, Valproate, Lamotrigine, Fluoxetine) during the course of treatment. I come from a lower economic class country where psychiatric treatment is still considered a taboo and people hide it from others, the facilities available are not the best but its a work in progress. Most of the drugs I had to take, they helped me immensely and I had not much trouble tapering valproate, lamotrigine and alprazolam within a year since start of treatment. They helped me get through the second-sit of exams and after I passed I quit the first two within 2 weeks using ( 50-25-0%). Since I am in medical school I was well aware of addictive potential of benzodiazepine's, so I decided to taper alprazolam as well even though it helped my anxiety symptoms. I had panic attacks and palpitations again but I started working myself through therapy and regular exercise and sleep to ease my symptoms. For a regular person these things are a luxury of time, but if you suffer from a mental health problem you must consider a good sleep and exercise a necessity for the rest of your life and fit in other parts of your life with it, not the other way around. Around 19, I was only taking fluoxetine (20 mg ) and my symptoms got worse, as I often tried to taper it on my own ( I wanted to be off drugs asap). The doctors upped my dose instead of my concern of getting them off, and told me to take valproate, which I could take if I felt my symptoms weren't manageable as I told him I don't want to be back on meds. For four months I was on 40 mg dosage of fluoxetine and some days were quite bad and 2 years back I would've seen the doctor and he would have most likely upped my dosage again but this time I decided to be patient with myself on bad days, accepting them as part of recovery because on the good days, I didn't need any aid and slowly the ratio of good to bad days was improving. I found this blog and I started the brass monkey taper schedule with 4 weeks hold for fluoxetine, and I was done in 6 months. I had some side effects but with this method they were too mild to be cause a nuisance. I had dizziness, insomnia and weight gain (around 10 kgs) during the process. I am now drug-free for almost a year, and its lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, rest, filling my bucket before I pour from it to others, adequate rest ) that keep me going fresh and happy. I had failed attempts at tapering fluoxetine and every time I tried my symptoms became unbearable till I found this forum. I am incredibly grateful to this community and the stories that gave me strength to continue on my journey. To everyone reading this, be patient with yourself and don't compare your journey to others. Listen to your heart when it tells you NO, trust yourself to get through it and you will only see your strength in the hindsight. Love and Prayers.xx

Rhi's Introduction topic I want to crow, or at least jabber excitedly, about the improvements I'm finally seeing in my health and mental/emotional wellbeing as a result of my taper. But I'm not "fully recovered from withdrawal" so I was hesitant to post in this area. Then I decided what the heck. Recovery doesn't have to be all or nothing. There are all kinds of success stories. I know people will be encouraged by what I have to say, as I am encouraged by others. So here it is. As you can see from my sig, I'm in the process of a very long taper off five meds, with a long time yet to go. But I am ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED at my improvement so far. Even though I'm still taking low doses of four psychiatric meds--I'm not sure I can find the words to describe how much better I'm doing and how happy I am at these lower doses, relative to how I was when I was taking those so-called "therapeutic" dosages. Neurontin completely savaged my ability to learn and remember things. Benzos and Lamictal are still making that something of a challenge, but the Neurontin was the worst. It also gave me the lack-of-impulse-control of a two-margarita drunk, and you can imagine what that did for my personality and peoples' impressions of me. I did and said stuff even just two years ago that makes me shudder to think now and thank my lucky stars I didn't get in more trouble. After I got down below 100 mg, all of this settled down a lot, especially the cognitive stuff. When I finally came all the way off Neurontin back in April, after about three months of recovery I seemed to stabilize out fully. My point is, though, I got the lion's share of my improvement not when I quit completely, but during the taper itself. Now I'm experiencing something that just makes me want to shout from the rooftops: I've gotten my motivation and enthusiasm back! After 20 years on antidepressants, I had forgotten what it felt like to actually WANT to do stuff! I used to go along with stuff proposed by other people, and I enjoyed it to the extent that I could experience "enjoyment" (something ADs cripple in me), but I usually felt like I would just have soon have stayed home, and left to my own devices that's pretty much what I did. It was hard, because my poor kids wanted to get out there and experience life. Fortunately their dad and some of my friends used to take them places and give them some adventures. I just never really wanted to do much. Which was weird, because before Prozac and Xanax, you couldn't keep me at home. I was always wanting to go out and do things. I was also very social, loved being with other people, got along well with them. Then for 20 years I became the opposite--agoraphobic, uncomfortable and awkward with people, socially anxious. Well--I'm getting myself back! I'm still on 2.7 mg of Celexa, but the zombie effect is lifting. You have NO idea how great it feels, and I don't think words can do it justice. Over about the past six months I've noticed that I'm back to being comfortable in social environments--more than comfortable, I love being with people, and people seem to enjoy me too. It's so much fun being a social human being again! And for the first time in 20 years I want to do stuff! When I have a day off work, instead of hanging around the house, I want to get out and explore the world, get out and try something new, meet people, see things, do things, touch the world, feel alive, explore, have fun! It's GREAT. So I'm here to testify (can I get a witness?--okay, that's a southern US cultural reference, ignore it if you don't get it) that at least for me, it's been possible to get back a lot of myself, a lot of what I lost on the "meds", just by slowly and carefully lowering my doses and getting down to low doses. The lower the doses go, the better I feel. There's a lot of room between "all" and "nothing", and that's the room where slow tapers play out. It was my hope that by tapering extremely slowly like I have been, all the meds together like I have been, that this would happen, that I would gradually and safely emerge from the nightmare miasma of "non-me" that the drugs had trapped me in. And it's happening. After two and a half patient years of tapering, it's definitely happening. For the first time in 20 years, you can't keep me at home, and I delight in social interaction. Just like how I remember myself being before they put me on the drugs. I'm not even going to go into the kind of karma that people earn by stealing 20 years from someone's life just so they can make money. That's not what this is about, although I have to say I feel pretty PO'd about it. I just want to say that you may not have to wait until you get to the end of your taper to enjoy a lot of benefit. And that tapering faster so you can get all the way off faster--it might not be worth the price, since tapering slow enough that you can still maintain a life and good health may turn out to be worth it when you get to a lower dose and you're functioning well enough to actually ENJOY that life and that health. And I want to say that YES, it's worth it. You can get yourself back. I've heard it from others, I've seen others do it, and I'm experiencing it myself. Hang in there! it's worth it!

Hello, I am Adriana and I am 32 years old. It all started with severe headaches almost 10 years ago. I have been taking Cipralex 5 mg/day, Lamictal 100 mg/day, and Xanax 3 mg/day for almost 4 months ( November 2022). The major issue is that I have been trying different antidepressants for 4-5 years, anxiolytics, and other pills ( Depakine, Carbamazepine, Gabapentine, Painkillers...etc). My headaches started suddenly and they were severe, I lost a lot of weight and was tired all the time. At the hospital, the doctors treated me for migraines after a series of investigations ( I was diagnosed wrong with multiple sclerosis), seeing that the pain did not disappear, I started to be afraid that I have a disease that the doctors could not find, I had to resign from my job. After 3 months of searching for a disease, I still felt horrible: headaches, laying in bed all day, being afraid of death, of going out, and feeling extremely tired. Then my parents decided it was time to go to a psychiatrist. I was first prescribed Cipralex 10 mg/day and Bromazepan when needed. Then the panic attacks appeared, also the majority of side effects: trembling, insomnia, nausea, and so on. After a week the doctor decided to give me Rivotril and sleeping pills to counterattack the side effects. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the exact amount of Rivotril given, but it was a small dose. But it did not go well as the doctor promised, and after 2 months I was the same. She changed the treatment with another antidepressant, and it began to be frustrating so I decided to find someone "better". The next doctor gave me Anxiar ( when needed and) Carbamazepine along with Cipralex. My headaches started to be even worse. I started to take strong painkillers, I could not sleep at all during the night. I was treated for sinusitis too. I started going to a psychologist, I explained the whole situation and he sent me with the MRI to a neurologist to check if it is neurocysticercosis. I started to be more and more afraid. For almost 4 years I have been prescribed all types of antidepressants and anxiolytics, painkillers, sleeping pills, and so on. I had lots of ups and downs but the headaches didn't go away. The doctors started to check if I had: epilepsy, Lyme disease, neurocysticercosis, encephalitis, and meningitis, so I spent a lot of time in hospitals. Then I found a psychiatrist that prescribed me Paroxetine 20 mg/ day and Xanax 0,25 mg/ 3 times per day. After a month I started to feel a bit better, I was working and having a "life" again. Then the tolerance to Xanax appeared. I started to take more and more. The maximum amount given by the doctor was 4 mg/ day, but being an addict at that time I went to another doctor to prescribe me more pills. In 2 years I reached a maximum dose of 9-10 mg per day. For me, they were like an escape from all the things I felt: panic attacks, headaches, insomnia. After a while, they did not work anymore, so I started to withdraw them alone, along with the antidepressant. In 2 weeks I removed them completely and in a few days, I got to the hospital for weaning. In the hospital, they made some analyses and I was suspected of pituitary adenoma, this was the moment when I started to be nervous and to have breakdowns. After multiple investigations, it turned out to be a false alarm. My psychiatrist increased the dose of Paroxetine to 40 mg/day and gave me only 4 mg of Xanax. I had more pills so I took 7 mg, then 6 mg of Xanax per day. I have to write an entire novel to explain everything: how I felt, how I was treated, my breakdowns, my ups, and downs, investigations, etc. 2 years ago I started to decrease the amount of Xanax from 6 mg to 3.5 mg/day today. My psychiatrist suggested multiple times hospitalization to withdraw all the pills, specifically Xanax, but I was too afraid to do it and also the conditions in the hospital are horrible. Although I repeat myself, the headaches were severe, they still are. When the breakdowns were worse and more often, I found another psychiatrist. After so many years of taking Paroxetine, I had to withdraw it in 2 weeks, so I could get back on Cipralex, but I mentioned that it caused me in the past severe anxiety, suicidal thoughts, no friends, no job, and no relationships. I was lying in bed all day watching movies, tv series, eating, sleeping, and gaining weight, feeling horrible, miserable, a shadow, a victim, I did not want to live anymore, but paradoxically I am afraid of death. I forgot to mention that I have 5 years of taking almost every day Paracetamol. Additionally, I was prescribed Lamictal, from 25 mg/ day to 100 mg/ day, and 3 mg/ day of Xanax. I have been diagnosed with sinusitis and it needs surgery, so I hope some of the pain will go away. I am supposed to increase the dose of Lamictal, but I am having a rash, and puffy, red, itchy eyes. I need help, I need advice. I do not know what I have to do, withdraw all the pills or just some of them. Taking them is not the solution after so many years. Maybe some of you had a similar situation and can help me. Thank you a lot!

Hello, I am posting for my husband and I am new to the site and I am not too god at figuring out websites. If I am posting this wrong or in the wrong spot please let me know. My husband has dealt with depression for many years and went on antidepressants about 17 years ago. He started tapering off of Sertraline 100 mg 2 years ago he did it slowly we thought but just found out not slowly enough. It took him over a year to get off of it and he was off for 6 months completely when he couldn’t take the anxiety symptoms anymore. He can barely eat, sleep, or work. He’s lost 30 pounds and he is thin to begin with. This June he started taking Xanax 0.5 mg 3 times a day and Hydroxine 50 mg at night for sleep. This did not help much. As of July he has started ketamine treatments (3 so far but 2 of them seemed to intensify the anxiety) and he just returned to the Sertraline at 50 mg about a week ago. He’s never been very anxious before only depressed. We couldn’t understand why he was having these new symptoms. I just learned from a worker at a local natural health store when I was shopping for cbd oil that these symptoms are likely from being on the antidepressants for so many years and coming off too quickly. He told me the ketamine and going back on the medicine won’t work. I literally left the store in tears. At this point I just want him to find relief. My husband is suffering so much and has been for two years since he started tapering. It’s only gotten worse over time and I don’t know how to help him. It is so difficult to watch someone you love suffer. I am grateful for this site and would appreciate any advice on how to proceed. I honestly don’t know what we should do next. Do we keep going with the Ketamine? What does should he be on for the Sertraline? I don’t know where to begin to get him back to a normal life. Thank you in advance.

It is possible to taper & wean. What I'm not sure about is whether it's possible to actually feel normal! Mirtazapine worked for depression & sleep for 15 years & then it didn't. A compounding pharmacy made me 3mg Mirtazapine capsules & I dropped 10% a month for ten months. I'm now planning on the same tapering timetable for Trazodone, 10% a month. My sleeps are still awful. I'm 72. I doubt I'll ever be able to wean Alprazolam. 86% relapse. Perhaps cognitive decline or even dementia. I don't blame my docs. It might have been easier to taper & wean earlier on but, then again, it might not. Frankly, I blame it on pharma...& on capitalism. Mirtazapine 30mg 2003-2022 Trazodone 50mg 2003-present Alprazolam 1mg 2019-present

Dear Friends For those that do know me and have followed my progress through SA I want to say that since last December I am Mirtazapine Free... so a little bit of one more month and I will be one year free from this terrible drug. For those that do not know me… before reading this success story just have a look at my initial topic in the link below. Only then you will understand where I was, what I endured and how happy I am that this ordeal has somehow finished and I am able to live, love, work and be there for my family again. I consider myself blessed with the life I have had… ok I am not rich, but I am usually very friendly to people and when you give love you get it back as well. I have been normal all of my life, a bit on the overthinking type of guy which is a characteristic of smart people, and I know that most of the people in SA are the smartest of those who understand that medication is not a way to solve problems. So I am here as many others with a success story and I want to tell you that it can be done. The difference between how I was during medication and how I am now is like day and night. So during my life due to mental sensitivity I have had 1-2 situations which have put me down for short periods of time but they would always resolve and life would go on. But for the last time it was different, my wife was pregnant (my second kid), I acquired a property to start a small business for which I applied for a loan which was delaying, had (and still have ) a job which I did not like anymore, and I carelessly I found my self drinking 1-2 doubles of alcohol per night at least. People say alcohol has the same mechanism of acting on gaba receptors like the benzos, so soon I started finding myself ruminating even more the next day after alcohol. Sleep started deteriorating and I thought I could be ok if I used some small quantities of Xanax to sleep. I had used Xanax before on on and off basis and I knew that it was really addictive but anyway I did not think much and started with very small quantities of it 0.065Mg. As my system seems to have been kindled by the usage of it before I started to create an addiction into a matter of days, and I would find myself terrified during the work day of very simple situations. So to cut things short, during this time I visited more than 4 doctors who gave different solutions and all included medications in various quantities. The last doctor I went in gave me a combination of Amitriptyline and Bromazepam (a benzo) which went up to 6Mg but I never stabilized. I had a good day and then would get hit by 3 bad ones… and so on. After 2 months of visits every 2 weeks and being nowhere near a normal life I decided not to go to the doctor anymore and take my own life into my own hands. So due to what I was reading I did a fast taper of Bromazepam while taking 15Mg of Mirtazapine. Fast tapering of the benzo was terrible, anxiety and depression on unimaginable levels. I closed myself almost totally and was like a zombie in both at work at home… and the only good periods of the day were 1-2 hours at night when I could be available for my just born daughter. All the people around me would not believe that I was doing the right thing. I know it happens to most of you all the time. Just do not blame them. They do not understand what you are going through… but they still love you a lot. They just believe that going to a doctor and get medication is the best thing to do, which we know now it is not. Anyway I tried to continue to live…even though on my very bad days I would just go around a lake near by my home and think to end it all. I continued to read in internet during all these time, and I realized that I was not accepting my situation. If you read my main topic you will notice how terrified I was on specific days, due to the thoughts of not being able to make it. So at a point of time I started to accept my situation and that was good. I knew that I had no other way out of this apart from the conviction of my heart that I would wake up from this bad dream if I continue to follow my plan. After I finished with benzos than it was the Mirt turn. In the beginning I would just cut it by hand, and take approximate doses which now I know it was not good. I was still into the no acceptance phase. Any small problems would terrify me, any task would require out of this world trials from me to complete. At work I was a dumb, avoiding everybody, just closing up and not being able to discuss things due to my crazy emotions. My manager started to go against me and played a very negative role by fighting in many dishonest ways. On the other side I needed the job as I started paying the loan, and some more the new business that I started was a lot of extra stress for me as well. I also visited at this time two Psychotherapists and both of them were telling me that I would finish the tapering but I would be worse. They were also pushing me to listen to the psychiatrists and take the meds… which I was convinced was not an option. So I continued to live my life by learning to ride the waves. Pushing the time in the bad days until evenings when I started to experience windows. My symptoms were crazy since the start but they kept changing. I am trying to make a list below from what I remember. · Terrible anxiety. · Terrible rumination. · Tinnitus. · Out of this world Akathisia (I remember driving to work in the morning in a terrified state with hands that could not hold still at the wheel) · Lack of Sleep. · Flu state after each drop of Remeron. · Full Brain (not able to think at all or argue with people). · Inability to smell aromas (I was not able to feel my little daughter aroma when I would hold her up and that would bring me tears in my eyes) · Devastating Tiredness. · Anhedonia. · Many physical problems, allergy, loose stools, hair fall and so on. ….. and many many more which I can not remember now. The good thing would be that at some point of time they would come all together but at some other some them started to lessen and disappear very slowly. Every symptom that would go away would give me hope to stay the course even in the very bad days. I remember that after two months of no feeling taste or smell due to the antihistaminic mess of mirtazapine suddenly I noticed that when I would kiss my baby daughter would feel her nice baby smell. I had tear in the eyes and could not enjoy more the feeling… J So that moment gave me hope even I would know that after some days that symptom would reappear again. Every wave would set me back. I would start to act normal and than suddenly out of nowhere I would experience 2-3 nights of no sleep, terrible anxiety in the morning, stuffed up brain in the afternoon and so on. I kept some contacts with some members of SA as well as some other friends from a FB group. Their messages were the ones who kept me going. Push push push until the wave goes away, and certainly that goes away. I still experience waves now here and there once in a month but they normally last 1-2 days and are mild compared to the ones during WD. Life is good my friends… Now I know what’s going inside me and the thoughts do not scare me any more. How I learned to understand that my problem was mainly biological and medically induced was simple. I would notice one day that a simple problem would drive me crazy and anxious, and it would look like the end of the world. I would try to calm down and if I had a good sleep the next day the same problem would not scare me any more… So in this way I learned that the problem was not the cause of my rumination but the WD was the culprit. Living without meds started slowly to give me back my lost confidence, I started talking to people again, get involved, not being scared of planning things for the next day bcs I did not know how I would wake up. I know, I know…. Most of you have been there and still are…. And I swear it is just WD playing tricks on you. So do not give up guys… my problems started early 2016 and the last 2.5 years have been the most terrible in my life, but still when I look back I have realized quite a lot during these two years. How can I not be proud while during this period I was able to: · Preserve my integrity. · Hold my job. · Handle the birth of my little daughter (My wife was the actual one who gave birth but I was always there). · Start a new business and have only 2 off days per month. · Continue to payback my loan. · Keep my family together. · Helping other people while in WD. · Having fun and having waves… 🙂 · ……. · ……. · ……. Above all writing this success story… 🙂 So that is a short sum up of my situation. There is a lesson in Withdrawal… just do not give up. Even on your worst moments pull up the strength and push forward. Anxious …??? Take a walk, listen to an hypnosis video, watch a movie, just avoid going to the drawer looking for meds for a short cut solution. Currently I am only taking a soluble magnesium before sleep and a vitamin B and Omega 3 fish oil in the breakfast…. Nothing else. OK my life is not the best that it can be, i still have problems, i still get sad, i still get worried for things but now things do not blow out of proportion. I still do not know how would i do if hit the jacpot... 🙂 but even if i don't, never mind i will do my best with what i have. The blessing of God with two lovely children, a good family and life is the best someone can ask from. I would like to thank from my heart Altostrata, Shep, karenB, AliG, Brassmonkey, Hibari, JanCarol and all the other people in the forum that I might not recall now who have commented into my topic and kept me convinced that this was the true way. I am sooo much indebted to you guys. Anyway I will be around in the forum to help people time after time and I know I can not explain everything that happened to me during this time. If you read my topic and than this success story you will definitely know the difference. You can also ask on certain issues and I will gladly answer to each of you same as the people that I thanked above have done for me. To all the guys who are tapering you are doing right. You have nothing wrong with your brain. It just needs the time to adopt to a life without stimulants. YOU WILL ALL MAKE IT FREE SAME AS ME GUYS…. Just stay the course…. LOVE YOU ALL SANTINO

Original topic title before shortening: Need help in reinstating a low maintenance dose of Lexapro after a “honeymoon period” or an unsuccessful taper Hello, Between 2000 and 2005, I took three different ADs in succession - Zoloft, fluoxetine, and then Paxil. I also took Xanax for a few months and then stopped almost abruptly when I started feeling better on AD. I did not quite feel Xanax withdrawal probably because the AD effect kicked in during this time. From 2006, I was switched to Lexapro 20 mg. It worked well for a several years but around 2015, I felt quite detached from the world and did not feel like myself. So I started looking for natural alternatives to ADs. I started fast taper with the help of St. John’s Wort, Niacin, and Vitamin D. It went quite well till 2.5 mg, but after that, I started feeling withdrawal symptoms which were quite intense. I increased the dose a little and tried to taper again but could not go beyond 2.5 mg. I do not remember my tapering schedule but it was relatively fast as compared to the recommendation of SA experts. I did not know about SA guidelines of 10% reduction at that time - I wish I knew earlier. Then I started seeing homeopaths who helped me with the remaining 2.5 mg taper. The remedies that helped were Acid Phos, Aurum Met, Kali Phos, and Avena Sativa. I started feeling really good and slowly got rid of the remaining 2.5 mg of Lexapro. I started feeling myself again and though that Lexapro was behind me. After about two months, I faced an unpleasant event which brought my anxiety and depression back with full force. It could be a delayed withdrawal after a “honeymoon period” as some people have described here. Now I have been trying to reinstate Lexapro but it is not going very well. I have gone back and forth between 2.5 mg and 1.25 mg but I have not been able to make myself stable again. During this acute phase, homeopathic remedies only helped a little like Kali Phos but I guess these remedies don’t work well in a stormy situation. I am occasionally also taking Xanax 0.25 mg once or twice a day in an effort to get Lexapro settle back into my system. But I am feeling very bad. I have sleep anxiety. I wake up tired and restless. I sometimes wake up half an hour after falling asleep. I can’t sleep in the dark. I feel lethargic and devoid of energy. I now feel anxious about future like never before. Past events sometimes comes into my mind very vividly which increases my anxiety and heart beat. In such moments, I have to get out of the house and go for a drive or walk. Now, every time I take Lexapro whether 2.5 mg or 1.25 mg, I feel uncomfortable pressure or constriction on my chest usually after about one hour which usually goes away in a few hours. This happens even at this relatively low dose. I read somewhere that Lexapro messes with the electrical signals of the heart. So taking Lexapro makes me sick but not taking it makes me even sicker. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. My current life situation is not such that I feel that I can completely get off of Lexapro at the moment, but I want to settle on a low maintenance dose so that I can feel a bit more stable. My homeopath has now prescribed Ignatia Amara for palliative purpose but it is not quite helping at the moment. I know that if I go to a psychiatrist at this point, he/she would switch me to a different AD along with a cocktail of other drugs, which of course I do not want. I would appreciate any help in trying to achieve a low maintenance dose of Lexapro using the help of natural remedies. Thanks a lot.

I’ve been off Nardil for four months now. The primary symptoms I get are trembling in my legs, nausea, lack of appetite and free-floating anxiety. For the first several weeks after I stopped taking Nardole, this occurred pretty much daily. After about two months, I got can do what I would call my first big window and did pretty well for about three weeks. then, for no apparent reason, I went back into a very strong wave for about another week. I came out of that again and had another three good weeks. I went for a long walk last Sunday, and by Monday I was backed into another wave. I’m slowly struggling to get out of this wave. I take a number of nutrients including magnesium taurine and Catacolacalm. I also take 10 mg of propranolol three times a day. When things get really bad, I will take up to .5 mg Xanax. Today I tried .5 mg Klonopin. Does anybody have experience with those medications and any advice? Other questions First, are there other nutrients or supplements or any other factors that can help reduce the symptoms? Second, is it too late to go back onto taking a small dose of Nardil? does anyone have experience with going back on Nardole after coming off of it? I’m not sure I want to try this, but hearing if anyone did it successfully could be useful. Third what causes these waves to come and go? If I can prevent taking actions to create the waves, maybe I could eventually pass through all of this. Any advice would be welcome. This is really a long struggle. I’d like to hear from people who have gone off of Nardole successfully. Thanks BobB

Ηello everyone. I have severe anhedonia, emotional anesthesia, severe PSSD, extremelly fatique and dizziness due to cold turkey of paxil(60mg!!). I tοοκ it for 6 weeks and I am free 8 months now. The issue is that I am on benzo (xanax) 3 years(!) in doses 1 - 1,5 mg and now I am on hell in other words :( because I have dependence and tolerance (maybe) to xanax. Ι was never warned that ssri will cause me so terrible side effects such as anhedonia and PSSD. Therefore, I was concentrated to cut the xanax gradually this year. Now I have so many nightmares and nobody doctor believes me, because, as you Know very well, all these situations aren't recognizable. Also I am very confused because I don't Know if it is W/D or adverse reaction. Although I got a huge dose, I Think 6 weeks is a short exposure to develop W/D. I don't have waves and windows. Every day is the same.I keep thinking that is permanent and I have intense suicidal thoughts. It' so unbearable ... I feel so EMPTY. I can't feel love even for my parents and I haven't substantial support because they ALL think that I am simply depressed. Ιt's a sick joce....Do you think that I must taper the xanax now? My brain is in chaos and I am afraid for W/D from xanax now, but maybe I have not other choice. Keep in mind that I had not these effects (anhedonia, emotional blunting,PSSD) 2.5 years while I was ONLY on xanax. Any advise would be highly appreciated! Sorry for my bad English. Greetings

2017 started 15mg mirtazapine 10/2021 increased to 30mg mirtazapine 9/2022 going to attempt starting my taper at 27mg mirtazapine Mirtazapine doesn't seem to do anything for me anymore. Initially I had it prescribed after a period of daily panic attacks for about 2 weeks which I had stopped with Xanax then used mirtazapine for long term stabilization. It was very effective at helping me sleep initially at 15mg. About a year ago constant panic attacks started again and my baseline anxiety was high, after trying various medications to calm down, I settled on upping my mirtazapine to 30mg and using hydroxyzine as needed. In the past I also used propranolol to reduce anxiety symptoms but I have quit using this medication after a few years. My baseline anxiety is still fairly high and I sometimes get panic attacks when doing certain things that have been repeated strong triggers for me. Therefore I have decided to stop using mirtazapine with the hopes of my emotions not being so dull anymore and to be able to lose weight finally as I have gained at least 15 pounds with it. I have had a lot of success with dealing with my anxiety through therapy and alternative methods and stopping any peaks with hydroxyzine which sometimes I don't take for months.