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I started another thread for people to post positive Daily Affirmations that they use to help get by. This Thread is a little different. This is for people to post any psychological tricks that they use to help them cope other than the affirmations and I call them Jedi Mind Tricks. I came up with one this morning to use for myself. I recently posted on my Thread about discussing my progress with some withdrawal coaches and the estimate is that I have maybe another couple of years to go before I can really get back at it again. When I say the words '2 years' to myself it sounds like an ungodly amount of time so I've been trying to reframe it in a way that's more acceptable to My Mind and Spirit. Instead of 2 years I am instead looking at it as 24 months or perhaps 104 weeks and for some reason to me that sounds more palatable. It breaks it down into smaller chunks instead of two big chunks and this is actually something I learned to do in the military when dealing with complex tasks. Break it down in the little parts so you don't get overwhelmed and then start chopping away at the parts. So I'm going to make a simple list to hang on my refrigerator that will include also the 3 years and 4 months of tapering and the two years of recovery time that have passed so far and then extend that list out to include another 24 months or 104 weeks. Weeks that have already passed will get a line through them immediately so I can see that I've already crossed that distance and then every week I'll cross off another week on Sundays. This way every Sunday I can see that I am making progress with a visual cue instead of just letting it run around in my head and for me that seems to work. This may not work for other people however if you have a similar trick that you use to keep from psyching yourself out and getting discouraged please feel free to list it here as any and all ideas that are found to be useful are good ones and may be useful to others. 😉✌️😺😺

It has been a year since I got off Lexapro. I am now completely healed without symptoms. I think this would be a good time for me to share my success story with you. (Link to my intro topic: BellaC: tapering Lexapro / escitalopram) Background: 33 years old female, I took 20mg SSRI Escitalopram (Brand name: Lexapro) from 2010-2017. I started tapering in June 2017 after family doctor's advice. Taper timeline: 2017 June -2022 March (I posted a very detailed timeline & symptoms at the very end of this post, for those who are interested) Taper strategy: usually 10% taper each time, reach stability before further tapering. Taper method: 1. Cut & weight pill with digital scale; 2. homemade liquid solution (w/ syringe) when the dosage is low. Pattern of recovery: For each taper, I usually held 4 weeks (sometimes 8 weeks) for the symptoms to subside. In the early stage, I experienced more somatic symptoms (physiological discomfort) than psychological symptoms; as the dosage got lower, it was the other way around-psychological symptoms became dominant. After I completely stopped the medication, it took about 6 months (plus a lot of inner work) for the symptoms to dissolve. It has been a year and I am completely healed! Drug free and symptom free! Things that helped me heal & what I learned from the experience: Tapering method: 10% taper is good. You can adjust later depending on how your body reacts, but always start slow and go steady. Observe and listen to your body. Know when to pause, when to re-evaluate, when to ask for help. Trust yourself but never do this alone. Mindset: This is a huge one. Here is my philosophy that worked well: symptoms are temporary, change is happening daily, so go slow and steady. Don’t taper for the sake of taper. Before anything else, make sure you are a functional person for the loads of life responsibilities you have (home, work, school, relationship etc.). Either adjust the speed of taper, or adjust the loads of your life responsibilities. The whole purpose of taper, is to function better and to live a more meaningful life, which may or may not be a pain-free life. Taper for a “meaningful life”, not a “pain free life”. Rational expectations: You will have symptoms, your body will feel uncomfortable, your mood will swing, and symptoms will not disappear quickly but will go away eventually. Irrational expectations or being emotionally unprepared increase the likelihood of failure. Supplement: fish oil, I cannot comment on how much it helped but this was what I took. Coping: exercise (walking, running), meditation, talk to my support network, inform and update people around me of my tapering & ask them to monitor/support me. Have hope & be patient: Trust neuroplasticity. I do believe that the brain is a consistently changing organ. With time and new coping skills, it heals. Get emotional support: Talk about your decision with people you can trust and check in with them regularly. Do the inner work: If you take drugs for mood disorders (nonpsychotic type) such as depression/anxiety or trauma/stress related disorders, know that the symptoms are likely to return and stay as you taper. Because those traumas have not been worked on yet. It's hard work to step into the storm, but it's absolutely necessary and liberating once you go through it. The body and mind store the trauma, they are stuck energy in you. Once you are brave enough and are ready to release it, do the inner work by looking for resources that are accessible to you. Whether it's therapist, church/spiritual guides, or books/videos, go find them or they will find you in the right time. Don't just listen/read, practice what you've learned. Here are some resources that helped me tremendously: [Book] Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body, by Peter A. Levine (highly recommend if you have pain/somatic symptoms) [Book/Audiobook] The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, by Eckhart Tolle [Book/Audiobook] Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from the Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle [Youtube] Eckhart Tolle's teaching on his Youtube channel [Book/Audiobook] Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You, by Matt Kahn [Biblical Canon] Holy Bible Final words Whenever you are, you are exactly where you need to be on your journey. Don't indulge on the past or project to the further. Focus on each step in front of you. Have faith. I am so thankful for this site (and mediators) that provided so many valuable information. I want to do the same to help, support and cheer for your journey. If you have any questions, feel free to drop a comment below. --------------------------------------------------------Detailed timeline & sx-------------------------------------------------------------- Lexapro 20mg: 2010-2017 (I was doing fine for those years) PCP recommended tapering in June 2017 Tapering instructed by PCP: 20mg & 10mg every other day: 6/2017-12/2017, No sx 10mg: 12/2017-2/2018, Anxiety and hormone imbalance Restated 15mg: 2/2018-7/12/2018, No Sx Self Tapering: ---------digital scale weighing method below----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2018 15mg & 12.5mg every other day:7/12- 8/8, No sx 12.5mg : 8/9- 8/28: palpitation, brain fog, diarrhea, dreams, obsessive thought. Subsided on 8/29. 11.2mg: 9/14 -10/12: mild sx. Subsided by 9/27/2018. 10.2mg: 10/13 - 11/7: lethargy, mild shoulder pain. Subsided in 2 wks. 9.2mg: 11/7- 12/10: no sx 2019 8.4mg: 12/11/18- 1/7/19: mild sx. Subsided in 3 days. 7.3mg: 1/8-1/26/: no sx 6.6mg: 1/27-2/25: pain, palpitation, anxiety. Subsided in 1 wk. 5.67mg(15% cut): 2/26-3/26: dreams, pain, palpitation. Subsided in 2 wks. 5mg: 3/26-4/25: no sx. 4.1mg: 4/26-5/19: slight palpitation, gone by 5/8. 3.4mg:5/20-6/23: no sx 2.8mg:6/24-7/21: palpitation, anxiety and dreams. subsided after 2 wks. 2.45mg:7/22-8/18: slight palpitation, down mood, gone by 1st week; diarrhea daily. subsided after 3 wks. 2.1mg:8/19-9/18: slight palpitation, dreams, constipation. gone by 3rd wk. 1.69mg: 9/19-10/16: slight WD sx. 1.38mg: 10/17-11/18: anxiety, depression sx. gone by 4th week. 1.17mg: 11/19-12/16: 2nd week-somatic pain, anxiety, diarrhea, better by 3rd wk. 2020 (new year yay!) 0.92mg: 12/17/2019-1/26/2020: holding, has been 6 wks: somatic pain, down mood, dream, some diarrhea. 0.76mg: 1/27-3/1: somatic pain, palpitation in first 2 wks, diarrhea in 3rd wk, gone by 4th week. 0.65mg: 3/2-3/28: I did not track sx 0.55mg: 3/29-5/5: I did not track sx 0.46mg:5/6-6/3: overall mood is a little low, sad and pessimistic sometimes, sensitive towards stress. stabilized after 4wks. 0.38mg: 6/4-7/19: depressed mood, sensitive towards loud sound, improved after 1 month 0.31mg:7/20-8/23:depressed mood initially, sensitive towards loud sound, improved after 1 month 0.23mg: 8/24-10/4: depressed, somatic pain, less , social, easily cry, low motivation. got better after almost 2 months! --------- Homemade liquid solution below------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 0.15mg :10/5-11/5: pain in shoulder, depressed, gone after 1st week. 0.13mg:11/6/20- 12/7/20: depressed. stable after 1 month. 2021 (new year yay!) 0.11mg: 12/8/20-1/3/21:depressed, pain in shoulder, ease after 1 month. 0.097mg: 1/4/21-3/7/21: depressed, anxiety, mood swing, pain in shoulder. improved after 2 mons. 0.084mg: 3/8/21-5/9/21: increased anxiety, shoulder pain, difficulty concentration, negative thinking pattern. improved after 2mons. 0.071mg: 5/10/21-9/30/21: increased anxiety, shoulder pain, difficulty concentration, negative thinking, lack of motivation. Improved after doing Somatic Experiencing exercises after the book Healing Trauma by Peter Levine 0.064mg:10/1/21- 11/1/21: No sx, minimal pain 0.051mg:11/2/21-1/9/22: anxiety, shoulder pain, low motivation. ease after 2 months. 2022 (new year yay!) 0.032mg: 1/8/22-2/28/22: palpitation, pain in shoulder, ease after 1 month. 0.016mg: 3/1/22-3/10/22: anxiety, palpitation. 0 mg: 3/11/22 (jumped off!): anxiety ( palpitation, irritability, panic), mood swing, pain in shoulders, low motivation, difficulty concentrating, slow mental processing, difficulty falling asleep, nightmares.

In The Wizard of Oz the Scarecrow wanted a brain, the Tin Man wanted a heart, the lion wanted his courage, and Dorothy wanted to go home and the whole time they had to stay ahead of the Wicked Witch of the West. This is a great analogy for what we are all going through. Fortunately just for going down this path we already all have courage. At the end of this crazy yellow brick road we will get our brain and our heart and we will get to go home. This is what is in the future for everybody going through this so all we have to do is stay ahead of that damn wicked witch known as withdrawal symptoms and we'll make it.

Withdrawal Awareness: A Message to Those in Medication Withdrawal - Mad In America https://www.madinamerica.com/mia-manual/medication-withdrawal-awareness-message-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

My first experience with these drugs was back in 2021 with my first psychiatrist. I was put on topiramate and Brintellix. No problem getting off of them when i felt like i needed to. He let me speak for a good hour or more. Spoke to a neurologist in late 2022 because i developed brain heating in response to frustration. He didn't even let me speak at times. Haldol + Neuleptil seemed to work at first but then noticed they were just putting me to sleep. Not the cure i needed. Had 4 days of akathesia after being suggested to drink heavy alcohol while the drug was still circulating ( I thought it didn't because the last cycle before the occurrence i have took the day before ). Went to another psychiatrist, and after a " Careful check " of 5 minutes i was told i'm depressed and i should take Cipralex 20 mg ( 10 drops at first upping the dose by 2 till i reach 20 ), Depakin 250 mg ( 2 envelopes ) and 1 Quetiapine 100 mg for the night. The reasoning was that supposedly Cipralex would make me feel euphoric and Depakin and Quetiapine would have me stabilized. He told me that this stuff doesn't have side effects and it's " Light ". After the first week i felt my depression worsened to a point i never had reached before. Plus i had eye pain, blurred vision, diarrhea, cognitive malfunctions, couldn't think and speak properly, heavy depersonalisation and derealization, feeling like i had a flu, gained weight, ate more, and problems with erections/orgasms. Psychiatrist told me it was my depression coming back. I asked him if those things are supposed to make me feel better why would that be the case and why have i never felt this way prior to the " Medication ". I was left on read. Looked up on internet and started reading about the millions of horror stories related to antidepressants and such. My friend had my same exact symptoms, including the eye pain that was confirmed by my eye doctor to be brought in by the antidepressant ( He asked me if I'm taking them even before i could say anything ). In a week i knew more than he does ( Implying he doesn't know what he's doing, which i heavily doubt ). Since i intuitively knew i was poisoning my body, even before i searched on Google, i let go of his " Trust me "s and tapered off everything in 1 week: Cipralex from 20 drops to 10 for 2 days, then 5 for 2 other days, As for Depakin took 1 envelope in the last 3 days of that week and cut quetiapine completely in the other half of the week. I was told to take Cipralex at 2pm, Depakin at 8pm and Quetiapine at 10pm. In total, i took 3 weeks and a half of everything, including taper, more or less. The first week was more or less fine. However, the withdrawal symptoms started to kick in after then. Astonishingly high levels of depression, nightmares in which i would feel extremely depressed ( Didn't even know something like that could happen, aswell as such levels of depression ), stopped sleeping, would have 5 minutes of half a sleep and wake up panicky, and quickly developed into high anxiety/arousal. Can't feel emotions like i did, hardly can laugh and everything, i'm more uninhibited because i'm searching for those chemicals i lost and can't find them, and when i try and remember something or something really emotional hits me i can barely cry and the rest of the feeling mutates into yet another panicky feeling. I just know this is farmacological as much as i knew akathesia was. I'm starting to develop some tremors, too. Several important occasions were ruined for me because i was either too ill to go or i would get almost a panic attack because i wanted to go home, where i had no rest anyway. I'm smoking 10 to 15 cigs a day just to try and feel something/calm the anxiety with not so good results, and i was never a heavy smoker. I went there for my akathesia and he told me if i didn't take my new cure i would still have akathesia, which i strongly doubt. I feel like akathesia is next door again now, really, because i stared pacing again, not at that level, for now. I spoke with the psychiatrist again and i told him all about this. He said it's all about me and what i had prior to the medication, didn't really make sense through the whole thing and could hardly hear what he was hastily saying, didn't seem to know what ssri means and he told me that " SSRIs boost serotonin ", which is not true, even implying depression has anything to do with serotonin and it's about a chemical imbalance which actually seems like these things gave me. I basically told him he should work on his ego and that he doesn't know anything about what he prescribes and he's comparable to an angel of death. He told me there is no such thing as withdrawal, you can't get hooked on antidepressants, avoided the " Why am i getting worse if that's my depression " question. He admitted to have given me a horse dosage/cure. He says this stuff doesn't change anything in the brain even tho the meaning of ssri literally points to the opposite direction of that claim. I also asked him if they don't change anything what's the point of taking them in the long run. Again, no answer. He said i'm going against " Science " ( More like a cult ). I also have him recorded. Max i could do was review him 1 star and possibly sue him. Anyway, i didn't tell him i already tapered off, and he gave me a 2 week taper, obviously. All of this got so bad i got suicidal thoughts and i had to take quetiapine again, and that's all i take, after trying xan for 2 days and it was doing nothing except giving me itches, had no trouble stopping it fortunately. Still feeling bad and nothing like before the cycle. Still can hardly concentrate and everything. Everything still overwhelms me sensory wise but i have little to no emotions. Got a little bit of cognition back again. I developed hard tinnitus. I had a dream in which i felt the dissociation it gives me. I'm taking it one before bed and one or two throughout the day, split. Its sleeping effects are fading and i'm having windows and waves. I'm feeling new bad sensations everyday but quetiapine keeps me from getting too low, for now. It seems like my body is asking for more except when in windows, in which i feel empty but a bit more chill. What do i do ? What's happening ? Is it the deadly cocktail that was given to me and i tapered off too quickly ? What am i withdrawing from ? Is it the haldol + neuleptil even ? Should i go back to antidepressants ? I have no intention to take any other neurotoxin whatsoever. Only taking quetiapine makes everything seem flat but i don't wanna take antidepressants that make me more depressed again.

Change is coming 😁 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychiatry-through-the-looking-glass/202010/withdrawal-antidepressants-review

Change is coming 😁 https://www.madinamerica.com/2020/10/reckoning-antidepressant-withdrawal/

Hello all, I’m new here. If I tapered off too quickly last time I took escitolopram will my brain never fully regrow itself back to normal? I read the article on this site regarding the importance of tapering off properly and what antidepressants really do to your brain.. I was put on 10mg of escitolopram 6 years ago and cold turkey went off maybe a little less than a year. As you can imagine I fell into a horrible depression due to this. Went back on 10mg of the same medicine 6 months later and it helped until it stopped working about a year later and it was causing low sex drive, emotional numbness etc.. I ended up tapering off of those much to quickly and I was wondering if there is hope for my brain? I have never been a person with a temper and after quitting escitolopram the second time I had an intense rage ignite inside of me and it has weighed me and my whole life down, my husband included. I was sunshine and rainbows when we met and that was very much so my personality for most of my life. I struggled with depression and a very mild anxiety but I didn’t take antidepressants until I was in an abusive relationship and needed something to “fix me” (obviously it was the relationship causing these problems) though medicating was not the answer it did help in the time being. I have always been extremely sensitive to medication, that’s why I never went on more than the 10mg of escitolopram. Moral of the story, I am suffering with postpartum depression badly and I went back onto them again for four days before finding out I’m pregnant recently and went straight off because I don’t want to poison this baby. I read about regrowing your brain and now I’m curious if I’ve messed mine up beyond fixing? Has my brain been regrowing? I feel my anger has gotten less but still there and a constant battle to keep in check. I just want to know if there is hope that my brain will go back to its normal healthy functions again.. Thank you for reading and God bless.

Table about halfway down the page: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/teen-depression/in-depth/antidepressants/art-20047502

Hey my name is Hammad I'm from Pakistan and im new to this community, I've read the rules and i find this community quite help ful , because all of this information is not given by our health professionals for some reason so most of us come to the internet to investigate. This discussion website is a very good way to share , get advice and get to know alot of stuff that we wouldn't know otherwise from somewhere else .

Hi Everyone, My name is Daniel, I'm 19, and I'm new to this site. I'd like to hear other people's experience with SSRI withdrawal and what they've done to help alleviate it/speed the process. A little bit about my background to start. I'd like to apologize in advance for the long, long post but if you have the time please hear me out, or at least look at the main points listed at the end. As a young child, I always felt different from and alienated from my family. My parents are very religious people, so I was raised in a really strict, sheltered environment. From a young age I was always hyper and impulsive, which didn't go will with my father's dictatorial parenting style, and looking back was more a result of the way he treated me. I was put on my first SSRI, luvox (fluvoxamine) at age 6, because of anxiety (which was partially caused by my relationship with my dad). I took it for a few years. Ritalin was added to my cocktail when I was 7 due to "ADHD", and I was on it until 14. I experienced crashes at the end of the day and could not function at all if I missed a dose. I know that these two meds at such a young age caused irreversible changes to my brain structure, although I don't recall any serious negative withdrawal effects (I was tapered off of it). I was put on numerous other non SSRI medications between 7-14, including abilify, other stimulants, and non stimulant ADHD meds. I never really knew what "normal" felt like because I was always being medicated. I was also diagnosed with celiac disease when I was 11, and have been gluten free since then. I had stopped growing for a few years, which led to the diagnosis. I'm sure eating gluten for all those years also had a detrimental effect on my anxiety and ability to focus. At 14, I came out to my parents as gay. Things in my life devolved from here. I wasn't accepted for who I was and began to experience depression. My behavior became more erratic as the feedback loop of being yelled at and punished led me to continue to act out. At 15, I was admitted to a psych hospital where I developed depersonalization from the stress. I was given 20mg celexa, 300mg wellbutrin, 1mg tenex (guanfacine) twice a day, and 50mg seroquel for depression, "ADHD", and anxiety. I have a wonderful memory, but my time on SSRIs is definitely more blurry in my mind. I was (wronfully) in a residential psych facility for six month (my parents didn't know what to do with their "trouble child". My father announced that I was being sent to a Christian boarding school in Texas, ans at this point I called CPS on my parents. The state determined that they were not fit to take care of me and were emotionally abusive. Through my first 3 years in foster care, I stayed on the Celexa/Wellbutrin/Tenex/Seroquel cocktail, but decided to taper off because I didn't want to be on meds anymore (June 2014, age 18). My sorry excuse for a psychiatrist that was employed by the foster care agency I was placed under refused to let me get off them, so I decided to do it myself. Looking back at this blurry time of my life, I can tell that I was an emotionless euphoric zombie the whole time, and emotionally did not grow at all as a result. Not knowing what I was in for, I tapered off all my meds in two weeks. I also started smoking weed regularly around this time because I was not feeling as good as I used to (meds completely destroyed my ability to regulate my mood, which would be bad enough without traumatic memories of emotional abuse, false imprisonment, etc.) It provided me relief from my withdrawal symptoms, but I was smoking too much so I've slowed down considerably because it doesn't solve any problems. I don't think that my depersonalization ever really went away when I was started on meds, but I got used to the new normal of chemical euphoria. After a few months of no meds, I got rebound depression, anxiety, and depersonalization like I've never had it before. I never had out of body experiences, but my dissociation was very severe. Anyone who's experienced this terrible symptom knows how hellish it can be. My mind could longer smoothly synthesizes my sense of perception and consciousness like it used to. Every waking moment since I've stopped these meds has been a perceptual mind****. I am in a full scholarship college program and I work 2 nights a week in order to have money to get by, so my life is ridiculously busy and stressful. I wonder sometimes how I manage all of it without breaking down. Since getting off my meds, I feel maybe 20% of the range of emotions I used to. I feel almost numb. The worst part is that I can never sit still, have a much harder time focusing than ever before, have trouble falling asleep but then sleep for way too long and have a hard time getting up. I'm dysphoric almost all the time, and my anxiety has been terrible. I overthink everything in ways I never used to and feel trapped in my body and mind. I sweat way more than I should, and my muscles got so tense about 6 months ago (beginning of 2015) that I started to develop small biceps. It's been 16 months or so since I got off my meds, and I've noticed about a 30 % reduction in my withdrawal symptoms including depersonalization, but I still feel trapped and terrible most of the time. I eat pretty well, follow my GF diet, and take 5-HTP to supplement my brain with serotonin as well as vitamins and minerals. When I'm awake, I feel dissociated (sometimes I feel like I'm just a sum of what's around me in the present moment), worn out with little energy and motivation, and pretty emotionless. By the time evening comes, it feels like my brain has used up all available serotonin and I feel like an anxious, dysphoric zombie. My way of perceiving the world is not smoothly integrated and my mind jumps around. I forget where I put things 5 seconds ago, and it feels like I'm only 30% here. I'm a very intelligent person and I know that if I'm able to feel better and have a more concrete sense of self and feel focused and in a decent mood like I used to feel before I was ever started on the pills from hell, I can do a lot for this world. About 2 weeks ago, I started on 10mg Prozac (against the advice of my psychiatrist, who wants me to wait the withdrawals out but doesn't really understand how terrible I feel) because I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown with school starting. Within 2 days, my brain felt like it could finally breathe and I have been functioning much better. I've stopped sweating, my body is relaxed, and my brain is thankful for the serotonin, but emotions have disappeared and I still feel like a zombie, just a more relaxed one, completely numb and it feels very fake. I don't really feel alive. I missed my dose today and the depression I felt this evening before loading with a high dose of 5-HTP was much worse than the usual withdrawal, and I've decided that it's not worth it, I'm done with meds for good!!! But I'm tired of being in this hell. I'm tired of life being a perceptual mind****. I'm tired of being on edge and anxious and depressed and dissociated. I've been in psychotherapy for almost 2 years and have made remarkable psychological progress, but the physiological/mental symptoms of my withdrawal are a living hell and it's often hard to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from symptoms of underlying problems. THANK YOU FOR READING!!! In summary: -Stopped SSRI and SNRI (doses were way too high), with way too fast tapering, about 16 months ago -Symptoms have reduced by about 30% but are still hard to bear. Depersonalization, bad anxiety, sweating, trouble falling asleep/waking, lack of concentration, altered perception, emotional blunting up to 80%, dysphoria, lack of energy -Taking high dose of 5-HTP/vitamins Any additional supplement/herb recommendations, personal withdrawal timelines, or any other suggestions will be highly appreciated!! Thank you so much! -Daniel

Hi all, I am writing from the BBC. The Victoria Derbyshire show in the UK are producing a short film about anti-depressant withdrawals and are looking to speak to individuals who have used local street drug dependency services for support throughout this process. If you are someone who has used the support services of street drug charities in the UK for antidepressant withdrawal and are interested in taking part, please do reach out to me via the personal messaging system . We appreciate the very sensitive nature of this difficult experience and anything spoken about will remain confidential unless otherwise agreed. Many thanks.

An interesting excerpt from an interview with two eminent doctors who are trying to push forward research on the issue, https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/home/topics/mood-disorders/depressive-disorder/rethinking-antidepressant-withdrawal-expert-qa/2/ : There is a greater awareness in the field about the risk for adverse symptoms on discontinuation of antidepressants, which has been driven in part by media attention to this topic. Our understanding of this issue remains fairly limited: the true prevalence of discontinuation symptoms, and the biological characteristics that predispose certain individuals to these symptoms, remain uncertain. There is no consensus in the field about how to define the presence of discontinuation symptoms: how many, what severity, how functionally impairing, and for how long. What is certainly clear is that a subgroup of patients prescribed these medications may develop discontinuation symptoms that are particularly disabling. Further, we know that certain antidepressants, such as paroxetine, have much higher rates of these symptoms compared with others, such as fluoxetine. Psychiatry Advisor: How should clinicians address this issue in practice? Dr Davies: Owing to the recent revision in our understanding of dependency and withdrawal issue, NICE has commissioned a specific guideline on this question, which will commence development this month. In the meantime, very slow tapering at a pace comfortable for the patient is imperative. This may mean many doctors tapering more slowly than they are used to. It is imperative to listen to the patient and not misinterpret withdrawal as relapse. Whilst its good because it shows that many are waking up to the reality of all this it is also very frustrating. Theyve yet to define the syndrome(s) let alone measure it. Effective and safe evidence based guidlines around withdrawal and withdrawal syndrome are still likely to quite a long way off. The wind is at least blowiny in the right direction. My understanding is that NICE are looking into trying to publish some sort of provisional guidance or clarification regarding tapering.

I’m from Ireland.First time I took Xanax in 2018 October few times as I couldn’t sleep , not every day but sometimes happened maybe 3 days in row in October ( that time I HAD no info on crazy benzo !) .Sometimes I drunk Alkohol in between , as I couldt sleep. Then I took Xanax in January few times not every day , but even 3 mg to calm down or to sleep . I started to have suisaidal thoughts then after Xanax and ambulance took me they said I’m not mentally ill , they can’t keep me in hospital I have high terror anxiety ..... I also took for 1 week sleeping pills ( forgot names ) more than required ( not to kill myself !) I just could not calm down to sleep and drink 3 beers with it and I slept ( it happened twice !) . Then Avitan for 5 days only but wasn’t working . Then in March I got laxapro for 21 days but I started to feel more fears so I stopped gradually . Then for 1 week diazepam lowest dose but it couldt put me to sleep . 1 day another dr in emergency gave me Dalmane 30 mg that’s first time I fall in sleep . She gave me fot 7 days but I never took every day . Then another dr gave me a Dalmane through April / June 15 mg but I was taking 30 mg every week or every 2 weeks , sometimes twice a week .... (Last time I took Dalmane 4 days ago. Now I’m in extreme fear 24/7 and depressed. I don’t know 100% , but I think it is if all this crazynes / fears is because of those benzo :Dalmane ) . I also had difficulty in my relationship ( I thought I’m in abusive relationship) , but maybe because of my behaviour ......mI was the one difficult sometimes ..... I never tapper properly from it ( Xanax , Dalmane was the longest most I took ) as my dr doesn’t belive I am addicted as I wasn’t taking every day . But I think I’m . My brain change . I was over worry about everything, extreme anxiety, didt know “who I am “, lost myself , my confidence etc . I have 13 years old son I need to survive live for him . At the top of it I have very laud tinnatus ( hidden hearing loss ). On the 23 of September another psychiatrist in Poland gave me Tranzone ( 300 mg for night ) I slept actually but waking up in fears so he said to tapper from Dalmane , he gave me Tranxene - Cloranxen on the 1st of September . I am feeling very afraid , depressed. Although I think a bit calmer on than Tranzone maybe ( or cloranxen 😬😅😢) I. don’t want to be on benzo . I don’t know if I’m addicted to Dalmane ( I think I am even thou I wasn’t taking every day ) . Now I got that Tranxene to tapper from Flurazepan ( I was told on face book group : they said to cut 10 mg into quarters and tapper :7.5 for 10 days: 3 times a day quarter and then take two quarters for 10 days etc .as I only have 18 tablets of Tranxene left . ( I’m 4 day on it ) . Please advise what can I do . Im like ... dying ... going down ....please help

Hi guys, sorry this may be a long post, I think it is okay to share my story on this. I am 21 years old, a college student about to graduate, and I have been on an SSRI for about 5 years now. I was diagnosed with ADHD and GAD when I was about 12, I have always been somewhat anxious and had issues with regulating my emotions. In 2013 my girlfriend broke up with me and I was really sad and feeling hopeless. After a few months of being down and also anxious, my doctor (pediatrician) decided to put me on 5mg of Lexapro. The Lexapro seemed to help (I think?) and I recovered somewhat quickly. Over the next few years, however, my doctor fluctuated my dosage quite a bit. I would get anxious, he would up my dosage, and then I would become a zombie and he would lower it. It did seem to blunt my emotions on a high dose. Other than that it was fine. However, the summer after my freshman college, I became extremely anxious and had an existential crisis, prompting my doctor to change me over to Zoloft and Trazodone. When starting Zoloft, I took 50mg and worked up to 100mg. It possibly helped my anxiety but my emotions became blunted again (or maybe it was depression?). I did not feel hopeless or sad, but I kind of lost the ability to have pleasure over simple things. After going through a hard time on Zoloft and Trazodone feeling empty and dull, my doctor and I decided to taper off to see if that would help. Every time I tapered, we would allow three weeks to go by to see if it helped. I went from 100mg to 75mg to 50mg to 25mg and eventually to nothing. Every time I lowered, I felt a little more in touch with my emotions. With the Trazodone, I stopped cold turkey on a dose of 50mg. When I went completely off of the Zoloft and Trazodone, I started having crying episodes, brain zaps, insomnia, anxiety, occasional anhedonia/brain fog, and severe social anxiety. After a month or two, all of these symptoms went completely away (except sometimes the anhedonia/brain fog). I was doing good and feeling very in touch with my emotions. After a few months off of the Zoloft though, the school year was coming back around, and the girl I had been dating for 2 years broke up with me unexpectedly. It devastated me and left me feeling sad and hopeless. I was crying all of the time, I was thinking about her all of the time, losing the ability to feel pleasure, and had anxiety because I still saw her every day. This continued on through the semester and I went home for winter break feeling depressed and anxious. I was feeling brain fog/anhedonia, and lost overall enthusiasm for life. It got bad enough that I knew I needed help, so I started talking to a therapist (I had seen a few before this one) and it was helping. I still was depressed, but was slowly improving. I started taking Adderall again to study for a certification exam over the break and this helped boost my mood tremendously. It cleared my mind, helped with the brain fog/anhedonia, and made me feel a little more peaceful inside (less racing thoughts). My psychiatrist decided he wanted me to take Trintellix and put me on a 5mg dose. I went back to school feeling down and anhedonic again. All the progress I made during seemed to start disappearing. I stopped taking the Adderall, and once the Trintellix seemed to start working I started becoming extremely anxious. I felt extreme depersonalization, started having weird sensory problems (visual snow, eye floaters, tinnitus, and my body started fluctuating between feeling tingly and numb) and was scared. My doctor upped my dose of Trintellix to see if that would help. I ended up taking Ativan to help with the anxiety. I was feeling less anxious but still had the sensory/depersonalization problems. Not to mention, my emotions went away again. The Ativan lowered my anxiety but made me feel completely dull and emotionless. I ended up tapering off of it and feeling better after a few months, but having a lot more anxiety/sensory issues. Since this (which was earlier in the summer), I started taking Adderall because I read a lot and it seemed my problems were kind of related to Adult ADHD. I always feel internally restless and have a hard time focusing, and taking therapeutic doses (20 mg or lower) seem to calm me down and clear my mind. Not to mention, it helps with my emotional regulation problem. Overall my academics and state of mind are improving. I have lowered the Trintellix from 20mg to 10mg over two months. I have had more sensory problems and anxiety since lowering the medicine, but it seems my emotions are slowly coming back. Every now and then, I get a nostalgic feeling that reminds me of what life used to feel like. It gives me hope. But I have been so up and down for the past 5 years, I am sick of feeling so unstable. I want to have emotions again and not deal with brain fog/anhedonia and anxiety for the rest of my life. I didn't have the former problem until taking medicine. I want the sensory problems to be gone. They only started after I started taking Trintellix. I need help with tapering off I think. Does anyone have any advice for me? I want to learn to treat my depression and anxiety in natural ways, and learn to regulate my emotions better. I want to believe I can live without taking medicine for these issues, because they only seem to exacerbate them. Do I have any hope of being stable again? I always feel uneasy inside and am constantly trying to distract my mind from this. I am sick of being anxious about these weird symptoms, everyone thinks I am crazy and writes me off. Will slowly tapering help this? I long for a day that I am not constantly thinking about being better, and can handle life's ups and downs. I am not wanting to be perfect, just to be able to not always think and worry about my mental health. I am always worrying about exercising enough, meditating enough, sleeping enough, eating well enough, and lowering stress enough. I think my issues could be related to tons of different things, but it is so hard to tell when you are put on medicines that only seem to compound the issue. School has been a big source of stress/anxiety and I am almost done, so I really want to take the time to improve my physical/mental/emotional/spiritual state of mind so life is not always this rocky. Thanks for listening, sorry this was so long.

I was on antidepressants for about 7 years, always trying to get off them. I have been on Celexa, Abilify, and Pristiq. I retired in December of 2014 so I no longer have job stress. I began tapering off Pristiq after I had only been on it about 2 months. I went down to 50 mg, the smallest tablet there is, then began cutting the tablets in half. When I wanted to reduce to 1/8th of a tablet, I crushed the tablets and used a razor blade to make a line on a mirror, and approximate 1/8th. All of my tapers lasted about 4 weeks until I got down to 1/16th. It was so small, and I had to travel for a funeral, so after two weeks of 1/16 I stopped. It has been 46 days and I feel myself slipping into depression and anxiety. But I am determined to stay off meds. I only take fish oil and Vitamin D. I just want to hear from other people that have survived Pristiq withdrawal. I want to hear success stories. Tell me I can do it! Tell my brain will heal. I run for about 30 minutes every other day and walk on the in between days. Pristiq 100mg/day two months 50mg/day x six weeks 25mg/day x six weeks 12.5 mg/day x six weeks 6.25mg/day x 2weeks Off Pristiq March 23rd, 2015

Hi all, I am in a pretty decent place in life, and I have a few weeks with very few ”responsibilities”... I’m thinking it’s the perfect time to finally try to get myself off of my psychotropic of choice, Amitriptyline 100mg 1xday. Ive attempted to get off it before and made it a few weeks before feeling overwhelmed and going back to the pills. I would love some support and a place to vent throughout this process. Looking forward to meeting all of you.

I was on a daily 40 mg dose of citalopram for like 15 years. Last spring I started tapering it off by 5 mg/month. The very last dose was two weeks ago. During the past months I can’t say I had any noted sympotoms. But after the last dose I started having less sleeping hours while I used to sleep too much in the past years. In the past couple of nights it’s complete insomnia in addtion to digestive distubances, nausea and chills in my body. Insomnia is the worst for me. Will these last, improve or worsen? Shall I go back to a low dose, a single dose Prozac.. Is there something that can make me sleep? It is strange, I feel tired but not sleepy! I would have stayed on Citalopram for ever, but on different occasions the drug prevented me from taking other medications that with aging become very much needed like NSAIDs because of drug interactions. I have not been particularly active but today I started fast walking for 30 minutes. Can this be the answer for what I have or is it just a helping factor?

jancarol-undiagnosed-off-all-bipolar-drugs G'day folks! I've only just arrived, I've read a few threads here, but not had much to say. I've been lucky, really. Because I'm not heavily medicated and never have been - I've fought that every step of the way. Likewise, I've never been hospitalized or jailed - I've fought against that every step of the way. It started in my 20's when Doc's decided that my depression would clear up better with a bit of Prozac. Just to help me "over the bump" until I had frank hallucinations, watching Bigfoot amble about in traffic and around town. Time to get off the Prozac. So I go off, and persist in an empty marriage with unfulfilling work. So the Doc's (I can't even remember which Doctors did this, it's strange because I was in a new town in Indiana, and you'd think I"d remember going to the clinic or Doc's office, but oh well) prescribe Zooloft. I get jittery and palpitations, so I go off again. Over the next 10 years, from about 25-35, I'm prescribed various antidepressants, and most of them fail. The only one to stick was Wellbutrin, but I get ahead of myself. So after these 3 month each infusions of brain chemical bursts, for 10 years, is it any wonder that when the marriage fell apart in 1995 I went full blown, psychotic mad manic? At the time I described it as if a weight that I had held on my shoulders for years and years was suddenly pulled away and I came unstuck. I was talking to bees (and making contracts with them), stalking potential lovers, stripping my clothes off in the woods so as to be "invisible," paranoid that the lights in my windows were UFO's. This was not treated by medical doctors as mania. Nor was it treated as psychosis at any time: because here is the key - even though I was mad and manic, I was LUCID. I could tell you, "This just isn't right, I need to get help." Ergo, I escaped hospitalization, and the overdrugging that happens there. This was treated with yet another antidepressant (Wellbutrin?) and antianxiety meds (likely Xanax). I met a yoga guru at about that time, and he "cleaned me up" and stabilized me but that was another abusive relationship - because now I "owed him" my life. I was on Wellbutrin for 3 years after this, but the depression just kept sinking deeper and deeper as I had sold my soul to this yogi. When I told the yogi, finally, to go away, that I would be happier without him telling me "who to be," and "how to be it," I got marginally better. At the same time I met my birthfamily, Birth Mom, birth aunt, a sister and 2 brothers. When I got the family history and heard about great-grandma hanging in the shower, and grandma finding her, and the resultant paranoia about menopause this caused....when I heard about the uncles who were chameleons and bigamists....I thought, well. Maybe I am "manic depressive" or "bipolar." So again: with lucidity and clarity I presented myself to the hospital charity system for treatment. to be continued.......

Hello, I need help to understand how this antidepressant work for anxiety. I am suffering from severe anxiety (suspected hyperadrenergic postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome - hyper pots) which causes my heart rate to increase by 30-50 beats per minute upon standing along with blood pressure increase, and so it's hard for even to even stand because of heart palpitations, fatigue, dizziness etc, and so i lay in my bed for 22-23 hours daily for 8 months, my muscles are GONE, i am only existing. Medicine history story in few sentences: after more than several heart tests year ago, they found nothing except mentioned sinus tachycardia episodes and high blood pressure when anxious, for example it was 170/90 with the heart rate of 120 just sittting and talking to cardiologist cuz of anxiety and body many posture changes, but it's in 40s when i sleep and it varies from 50s to 140s every hour during the day, which cardiologists think relates to anxiety. I decided to go to psychiatrist and so she saw severe anxiety and gave me ssri antidepressant escitalopram which made me a lot worse, my heart rate was 90-100 even when i wanted to go to sleep. Now she wants to put me on mirtazapine and i just can't understand how it can work because its serotonin and norepinephrine reuptaker, so how it will reduce my anxiety if i will have more norepinephrine in my blood, i thought they will block it, not increase it. This is a paradox that i fail to understand, what kind of treatment is that? I am scared that this will increase my anxiety/panic attacks/heart rate/blood pressure just like escitalopram. What were your experiences with it? Thank you!

Hello. I want to begin my introduction with a detailed case report on my hypersensitivity to sertraline… I hope this helps someone. I am a 21-year-old childless female who, up till recently was taking 25 mg of sertraline every 6–8 days. Three months ago, I began seeking professional help for self-loathing, difficulty in trusting others, and intense fears of abandonment during certain social situations. There was only one psychiatrist in my area still on Blue Shield’s panel. She quickly diagnosed me with social phobia and instructed me to take 25 mg daily for one week, then to double the dose to 50 mg daily afterwards. After a mere three days, I found that I was completely unable to feel fear. (This may have started even earlier, however I was unable to evaluate my emotional state during the first three days due fatigue and sleeping in excess of 15 hours a day when I began the drug.) Were a raging grizzly bear to attack me, I would have no appropriate emotional reaction to it, or maybe even none at all. Combined with the fever (at least six hours long), increased heart rate (30 seconds long), and hand tremors (1 minute long) that I would experience 20–40 minutes after taking the sertraline (half of a 50 mg tablet), and non-existent appetite, I decided to try taking 25 mg only every other day. This was sufficient to prevent the tremors and increased heart rate, but the elevated body temperature and lack of appetite persisted at this dose. (When I later lowered my dose to 25 mg every three days, the fever disappeared and my appetite would partially return.) I called my psychiatrist’s office to inform her that I would be lowering my dose as I found the fear-blocking too effective and the other effects troubling. I emphasised that I had never experienced those symptoms at the times that human interaction caused me distress. But for the next three months, the psychiatrist would maintain that these were manifestations of my anxiety and insisted that I take the full 50 mg daily. She ignored the fact that I was entirely incapable of feeling fear for those three months. I had many peculiar reactions to the sertraline. To begin with, for the first two weeks, I really wanted to be “a good dad,” as if I were already a father and desired to remain a good and humane parent. (I am a 21-year-old childless female.) And whenever I took the sertraline, I would also feel as if my two of my closest human relations were still alive… I wasn’t (at least not by typical definitions) delusional, I knew they weren’t alive and I didn’t experience any hallucinations of their presence. But I was overwhelmed by the warmth of their company, a warmth that I thought I’d never feel ever again. …It felt like I had come home again, like my feelings could reach them and their feelings could reach me. I felt love as if all three of us were together again. These spells would last twenty minutes, and all I felt like doing was hugging something to my chest and telling them how much I missed them. When these occurred at work, I mustered enough self-restraint to take only a five-minute break and continue working afterwards. These would be the only instances I would feel any emotion for the next three months. My strangest reactions occurred after eating foods rich in tryptophan: a euphoric restlessness that was accompanied by a wonderfully pleasant burning sensation in my brain. My partner and I called these episodes “the cuddles”, because all I wanted to do was cuddle, very vigorously. (I now think this was a “happier” form of akathisia.) My partner perceived this as the return of my normally energetic, cheerful, and affectionate demeanour; I had always been a cuddler and my hugs and handshakes had always been very strong. But, I knew I was getting high, so I began timing my sertraline doses to take them before eating red meat—to guarantee the high. These foods also triggered some other reactions—eating tuna sashimi turned me into a happy drunk, I was laughing harder than usual and even turned “as red as a tomato”, according to my partner. Cheesecake would trigger a burning sensation in my frontal lobes so overwhelming and do pleasurable it was almost debilitatingly painful, I couldn’t focus on anything else around me and had to eat very slowly, as I felt as if my brain would fry if I ate the cheesecake any faster. Now when I see cheesecake I get anxious, and if it is on my plate I even have trouble lifting my fork because the anticipation makes me weak. I’ve always loved cheese—one of my most prized possessions is the World Atlas of Cheese—so whenever I asked my partner to buy me cheese he didn’t interpret it as substance abuse. (Cocaine is an illicit substance widely known for its addictive qualities. Cottage cheese is not.) After a particularly good meal, e.g. all-you-can-eat at the sushi bar, I would be high for hours! I had to eat instant ramen on my lunch breaks because I didn’t want to risk getting high at work. Some background. My aspiration of fatherhood was definitely drug-induced, but I do know where it came from. The older of my two friends, thirty-one years old, was a good, strong man who had to assume the responsibility over a preadolescent boy and was basically a single father. My other friend was his fourteen-year-old ward, a bright and sensitive jokester who came to insist that artists had a responsibility to be both humane and truthful. His mother became addicted to opioids, and her male “friends” abused him; he developed very little interest in relating to the people around him, but was very gentle to anyone falling on hard times. My friends both died as pedestrians on June 30, 2016, three months after I had moved back to California in search of employment, and eight months before I started seeking professional for what my psychiatrist diagnosed as “social phobia”, which stemmed from a physically and emotionally abusive childhood. I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, but my friends had been helping me work through my fear of other people. My older friend was a very caring, incisive, and thoughtful person, qualities which he engendered in my younger friend. He had a serious interest in history, which was his favourite discussion topic second only to jazz music, and he could easily have become a history teacher—he was better than all the ones I had in school, anyway. When guardianship was thrust upon him, he took the time to read parenting books and material on child abuse. I don’t know if he knew it by name (I certainly didn’t), but he was teaching me the foundations of DBT. His boy became like a brother to me, and we discussed art and played video games together. After their deaths, my unresolved social phobia, which was compounded by grief, the unpleasant work environment at the hospital where I found employment, and the painfully close proximity of my entire extended family that had engraved into me my fear of human beings in the first place (I had moved out of California specifically to escape them!), understandably led to a worsening of my mental health. When I was finally starting to heal, I myself was hit by a car while crossing the street, but escaped serious injury. I developed a reflexive hatred of all cars, my own insecurity and self-loathing was complicated by survivor’s guilt, and I considered suicide numerous times. I knew I needed help. I wanted psychotherapy, but all the mental health professionals whom I had wanted to see had been taken off of Blue Shield’s panel. I settled for the one psychiatrist in my area still remaining on their panel. At our first meeting, I was frank with her about my aversion to the idea of treating my problems with psychotropic medication, and discussed with her the objective vulnerabilities and subjective conditions that kindled my social phobias. She immediately prescribed me sertraline and said I that could obtain a therapist if the drug did not adequately treat my anxiety. I was disappointed, and remained firm in my believe that drugs would not resolve my issues. But at the well-intentioned encouragement of a close colleagues of mine (she has been diagnosed as bipolar and regularly takes prescribed psychotropic drugs), and out of the desire to meet this psychiatrist at least “half way”, I began taking the sertraline. It was in the first month that I began perceiving that I had lost all capacity to emotionally respond to anything at all, even the treasured jazz songs that my friends has introduced me to. I lost my creative spark, my interest in the world and art and everything else that I liked. Aside from my loyalty to my two friends who died, I lost all interest in other humans, and all capacity for empathy. At best, I felt apathy towards people in the same way a man might feel apathy toward livestock. At worst, I felt unequivocal annoyance and contempt, the kind of sentiment reserved for an annoying mosquito. The only reason that the people around me didn’t notice a change in my demeanour was because I was keen to keep up a perfect façade—if anyone had noticed a change, it would be more inconvenient dealing with that than with faking empathy and interest. I was aware of all these changes, and I knew that they were bad. However, I didn’t care. The only thing that caught me was the thought of my two friends. At times, I realised how sad they’d be if they saw how I’d changed, and for a little while, I’d try to be a better person. On my second appointment with my psychiatrist, a month after our first, I reported the apathy, the food highs, and the “dad” feelings to my psychiatrist. The entire time I explained the food euphoria, she looked at me as if I were crazy. I did not mention to her the “it feels like my friends are still able to experience life and that makes me so happy” feelings, as at the time they did not strike me as a bad or disconcerting thing. But I did voice the observation that perhaps even 25 mg every other day was too strong for me. But all that mattered to her was that the sertraline was effectively dealing with my anxiety, and she was pleased with that. As for the adverse effects, she insisted that I take 50 mg daily in order to “habituate” myself to the drug. I very diplomatically stood my ground, again raising concerns about how my heart rate would increase after taking 25 mg daily. She relented—but said that I should schedule my next appointment three months later instead of one month later, since I was taking such a low dose. I had enough sense to perceive that this was dangerously negligent in her part, and gently nudged her, saying, “OK. So three months is a good time to check in?” She changed her mind, made it two months. I didn’t tell her, but after this visit I began reducing my sertraline dosage to 25 mg every three days. After two weeks of this, I found that the food-highs were still too disruptive on my daily life, so I began taking it every four days. Even though I’d decreased the dosage, the apathy worsened, and my patience for people was shorter than before. I was beginning to actively dislike all the people around me. I looked back at my previous relations and memories with scoffing contempt. I mistakenly thought I was falling out of love with my partner. I even started enjoying being a psychopath; life felt easier if all that mattered was number one. In retrospect, had the sertraline been more stimulating—if I had only the compulsion or motivation, I would’ve been capable of committing the most horrific crimes without a shred of remorse or moral discomfort. After that second appointment with the psychiatrist, I began seeing the one local psychologist still remaining on Blue Shield’s panel. I expressed my desire to work through my childhood-rooted social phobia using talk therapy. I mentioned told her about the sertraline-induced personality changes with her. She quickly sidestepped the subject of medication and advised me to talk to my psychiatrist about any adverse effects. The psychologist said that the sertraline seemed to be dealing with my social phobia well enough, and suggested that I may naturally be an introvert and that the sertraline was allowing me to enjoy being myself, that I was too concerned with what other people thought of me and that I needed to focus more on myself. Though I didn’t care, I understood that her attitude grossly complacent. I saw this psychologist two more times afterwards, and each time she said I seemed fine and that there was nothing I really needed to work on (though my own drug-induced apathy would not have allowed me to benefit much from therapy anyway), except perhaps my grief—I refused, saying I wasn’t having any trouble grieving. I wasn’t being entirely honest. I said that partly because I doubted she would’ve been able to seriously help me, partly because the sertraline had stopped me from grieving or feeling much of anything, really. After two months on sertraline, I stopped listening to music entirely—it had done nothing for me and I gave up attempting to evoke any sort of emotional response in myself. I was determined to happily live out the rest of my life as a psychopath and enjoyed the highs that the drug afforded me. Ironically, the only thing that drove me to stop taking sertraline was my chasing of the next high—the last thing I wanted to become was habituated to the drug. At the end of my second month, I began tapering to 25 mg every six days for a period of eighteen days, with the intention of taking 25 mg sertraline daily for four days afterwards to get as high as a kite. But on this lower dose, I finally began to personally care that what I was doing was wrong and that it would be best if I stopped taking the drug at all. From every six days, I tapered to every seven, then every eight days… Interestingly, that dose was still enough to give me a buzz when whenever I ate a cream cheese wonton, and I began to want to be a psychopath again. (I think, as others have reported, that the steady discontinuation of the drug made me more sensitive to low doses.) But I sensed that I owed a debt to my friends—which I treated as if it were a business obligation, not a moral or spiritual one—, and persisted in trying to quit. While attempting to find other accounts of hypersensitivity to sertraline, and material on how to come off SSRIs, I found Dr Peter Breggin’s The Antidepressant Factbook. I was very pleased to discover that people who produce inactive or “dud” forms of the CYP2D6 enzyme are unable to metabolise antidepressants at the rates most other people do. I have not gotten this or any sort of pharmocogenetic testing, and I don’t intend to as I will NEVER use a psychiatric drug again, but I suspect I may be one of those people. In my third and most recent appointment with my psychiatrist, I informed her that I had tapered off to 25 mg every eight days but that even this was enough to blunt my emotions and give me a little euphoria when I ate cheese or tuna. I mentioned that I had heard about the CYP2D6 enzyme and asked if she was aware of any good commercial genotyping facilities. She claimed that a blood draw for a liver function test would be enough and that I didn’t need to resort to genotyping… It was on that third appointment that she finally started to take my adverse reactions seriously. By a stroke of good luck, I expressed a new reaction to the sertraline that very same day, just before my appointment with her. Prior to seeing her, I had to attend a mandatory employee meeting at my workplace, and I experienced my first ever hallucination in my life. Among the audience was an older gentleman—didn’t seem odd, he was wearing glasses, a clean business shirt and tie, trousers, had a white beard, and he wasn’t acting out of place. And he seemed familiar—I must’ve seen him in passing, he actually might’ve worked at the hospital somewhere. The only reason I knew he was a hallucination was because he was floating two feet above the rest of the audience. He faded away like a ghost after three seconds. When I reported this hallucination to my psychiatrist, she pursued a line of questioning that indicated to me that she had tuned out and believed I was being paranoid and worrying for no reason about an actual living coworker—“So, no one else at the meeting seemed to notice he was there?” I nearly lost ALL my patience with this woman. My reply was immediate and firm: “He was floating two feet above the audience!” Her eyes widened and she asked me if I was taking street drugs. (“No.”) She began asking about all the other symptoms I had reported to her over the past three months. She ordered me to discontinue taking sertraline as quickly as possible (of course, she gave no advice on how to withdraw from such a small dose) and advised me against taking any other SSRIs. But she denied that the sertraline was responsible for ANY of the symptoms; she wrote an order for extensive blood work (without any diagnosis, so the next day I had to return to her office to have her secretary write it in…) and referred me to a neurologist to get an MRI of my brain. (I am still waiting for my scheduled appointment at this time.) When I saw that the order included thyroid function testing, I asked her if thyroid dysfunction could cause hallucinations. She responded, “I really have no idea what’s causing any of this. A thyroid problem could be the cause of your mood disturbances.” (I think she was referring to the tryptophan-rich food euphoria, but I’m really not sure.) The only thing that she admitted was that if these symptoms completely ceased after a month of being off sertraline, then we could conclude that they were drug-induced and not organic in origin. Since coming off the sertraline, I’ve begun to fully appreciate how I was emotionally unavailable to my partner, and how I took advantage him for three months; that I was unable to like people for three months; that in those three months I could’ve tortured and killed anyone, and I lacked only in inclination; that I hadn’t sang or grieved or felt anything… I am ashamed and guilty over what I became. I feel worse than before I sought and “received” that professional mental healthcare. All I want to do now is apologise to my friends. I know I haven’t done anything wrong, and I know I tried my best… But it’s difficult for me to accept that I’m still a good person. I feel like I’ve betrayed everyone behind their back. I’m trying to be gentle to myself, to think about what my friends would say if I could talk to them. I am trying to keep in mind that despite everything, I was able to honestly and objectively assess my own mental deterioration, and I acted as best as I could under the circumstances. I do not want to let those three months destroy my soul after the fact. I’m trying to live… I’m realising how much I missed out on everything. I forgot how much I liked the grass, and rocks, and kittens, and books. I forgot how nice it was to like other people, in spite of my fear that they’d never reciprocate those feelings. I forgot how much fun drawing was, and how funny my partner’s dumb jokes are. I hadn’t used smileys in my texts for three months, and I even walked differently! And I hadn’t realised how much of my acuity had dulled until I got off the sertraline. It’s like I have to live again for the first time in three months. I’m not as confident as I was three months ago, and I don’t like myself as much as I used to. My partner has been very supportive. I’m now experiencing sertraline withdrawal reactions. I get disoriented easily; the other day when I left my workplace building and when I reached the parking lot, I couldn’t place where I was at all; like which part of Earth I was located in, let alone which end of the campus. I’m noticing memory problems; subjects I’d just discussed with my partner I would raise again only a few minutes later. I used to be able to play my favourite songs in my head, especially the pieces that my friends introduced me to. For a while I couldn’t remember the lyrics, the titles, the artists, or even the melody. My memory is improving, but those songs play like a broken record, my brain skips over parts and I have to listen to the song again to recall it completely. My stomach hurts every now and then. I’m sensitive to light, and I get akathisia now. The first episode was bad enough to leave me writhing and crying in pain while clutching my head—as if something were clashing and tearing away from the inside of my brain. Now, it feels like a bunch of fleas jumping on and nipping at the surface of my frontal lobes, not debilitating, but annoying enough to prevent me from falling asleep at times. My appetite has returned, but increased to the point where I have to be careful not to overeat or risk massive weight. I’m thankful that I’m one of those odd people who hears rainstick noises near the top of their spine whenever they’re hungry; now I pay attention to that and ignore the empty feeling in my stomach. I have sudden spells of sadness and anxiety during which I cry a lot, which I didn’t have before taking sertraline. I’m worse off than before I started taking psychiatric drugs, but at least I’m no longer chemically lobotomised. I’m trying to exercise my brain by the throwing myself back into singing and reading, and I draw more seriously now. I hope this case history helps someone. I’m looking forward to weaning myself safely.

Hi, Just seen this post on the CEP website at http://cepuk.org/2016/10/27/new-york-times-reporter-wants-meet-talk-uk-sufferers-antidepressant-withdrawal/ Namaste, DC.

I am a 20 (almost 21) year old female, Pristiq was introduced to me at age 18. I was prescribed Pristiq to relieve me from panic attacks which I would have each and every day. My panic attacks quickly lead to me becoming severely depressed, and after attempting therapy (CBT) I had a doctor get me started on these. At first, 50mg which was increased to 100mg after having my symptoms worsen on the 50mg. Honestly, after two weeks I felt very good. Almost too good. The panic attacks had completely disappeared, I felt more confident, I (for the first time in a year or so) felt fine being alone. Almost two years had passed and a new doctor came into my life. He could see I was well and had been for quite some time now, so suggested I start cutting back. I cut back from 100mg-50mg with absolutely no struggle/side effects. Four weeks ago, I simply ran out and decided in that moment I would see if I could quit; cold turkey. No such luck. Everything 18 year old me used to struggle with came straight back to haunt me: the panic attacks, the self hate, insomnia, the list goes on. I gave up and went and got my fix! Three weeks ago, I decided to get my act together and get off it completely (and the RIGHT way this time) feeling like its a good time to do this as I'm in a stable condition and feel like there's no better time to end the Pristiq chapter in my life while I have a supportive partner/family around me in the Christmas break. My fabulous doctor wrote down a plan for me. An eating plan, exercise plan and simply just things to keep me occupied whilst cutting back. As most of you may know, 50mg is the lowest dose, some of you cut it in half/quarter etc, my doctor said he had a previous patient who successfully rid herself of this drug by having one day on, one day off for week one, one day on, two days off for week two etc, etc. this is the method I have taken on. Week one (one day on, one day off): This week was hard after the first few days, when it started being drained from my system more and more. It was a struggle to get through 48 hours without taking it. The thing I most get effected from is the 'brain zaps', every time I moved my eyes side to side or even moved my head slightly, that zapping sensation would fill my head. That feeling agitates me to a level of extreme anxiety, simply just because I know it's not a feeling which is 'normal'. I was moody and sleep deprived most of this week, but once day seven hit, I felt much better. Week two (one day on, two days off etc) Wow. I can go 36 hours EASILY without taking Pristiq. I feel as though I could just stop it completely right now. I feel fantastic. SO MUCH MORE ENERGISED! I haven't felt this energy for years. It's almost like I forgot what it's like to feel 'normal' without medication, but all those feelings are returning. I didn't expect to feel so well, so quick. A lot of this could be the eating plan my doctor put me on, as well as having a high dose of magnesium added to my diet. I'm also exercising a lot more than I usually would have. Either way, I feel fantastic. Week three (one day on, three days off) I'm writing this part on day one after having three days off. I don't know if it's relevant to the Pristiq or simply just my body clock being all kinds of messed up from the Christmas/New Years buzz, but I haven't slept for almost 40 hours. I don't feel sleepy, I feel quite alright. I'm not feeling any of my regular side effects (nausea, brain buzz, headaches, agitation), in fact I feel fantastic for someone who has had no sleep. I would love to hear if anyone else has tried this technique, and has had similar or completely different results. I personally am finding this a lot easier than I anticipated and would love to help out anyone going through the same journey as I know how tricky it can be at times! If anyone's interested in my progress, I'll keep at this forum. Warm regards, Hannah.

Hello guys, I have been given this site from benzobuddies. Because of a major depressive episodes, i have been to psychiatrist who put me on Ciraplex. I dont trust pills anymore (I was on Clonazepam for couple of months with alwful withdrawal effects), so i didnt take the pills on the dose he prescribed them. I started on 2.5 mgs, for couple of weeks, then went on 5 mgs instead of 10. The problem is i feel very bad when i take a dose. I feel like a zombie, i feel depressed and at times suicidal. I am afraid to increase the dose, and i am afraid of what happens when i decide to quit. Will i again discover hell ? My questions are. Could i develope dependency on a month of regular (some day i skip the dose for couple of hours) use ? If i stop them now will i see withdrawal effects ? Is it normal to feel that bad, with alot of DP/DR and cognitive impairment ? Is there going to be damage on the cognitive functions, because when i take those i feel like i cant think. Should i continue taking them in order to feel the positive effects if there are some ? I am afraid to be in position when taking them makes me feel worse, and being afraid of stopping because of withdrawal. What do you think about memory and cognitive impairment.

Hello everyone I'm glad I found this site even if I am unable to stop using my meds due to illness and seizures. I still need all the information I can get. I have COPD and a seizure disorder both of which greatly complicate trying to stop any of my meds. I am afraid that I will suffer a seizure and stop breathing and possibly die if I suffer any serious withdrawal effects. That is why I took so long reducing my Zopiclone (1 year taper) and Trazodone (8 month taper) and I cannot bring myself to even consider stopping them. Trazodone should be relatively easy to stop but I have found this not to be true in my case. When I tried to cut the dosage lower I started to feel very sick and I could also feel a seizure coming on, so I quickly went back up 50 mg from 12.5. But at least I am stable at the reduced dosage (150mg down to 50mg). I cannot even imagine cutting down on Cymbalta without it causing serious health issues. I will be getting a CT in 3 weeks to check for brian damage from using theses meds and these results will change how I go about any of this. I know I didn't cover everything here but sometimes my brain does not work well and I can't think properly. So what things do I need to know or tell you about to discuss my issues? Amygdala