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  1. I am a little over a month into this part of my tapering story, (Celexa-free now) and last week I had a lot of anxiety, which did not come as a surprise to me. I had somatic obsessions, tactile hallucinations, paranoia, and sometimes I wince from the intrusive thoughts or images that come up. My partner has been witnessing moments of this struggle which sparked a discussion. She says it hurts her to see me in pain and she urged me to think more critically about why I am doing what I am doing. When I tried to explain that sometimes withdrawal is just hard and requires patience, she said that I was rationalizing everything and didn't have any plan in place for when I should stop what I was doing or increase dosages again. She feels as if I don't leave enough room for her feelings or take into account how my actions in this process affect our relationship. She does not have personal experience with mental illness or medication which for some reason makes hearing that from her feel even harder. I feel judged in moments, though I really do think this is my own projection, and as a result I am not able to comfortably voice how I feel. I responded to all of this rather defensively. It felt like she wasn't trusting me to know what I need and it also seemed like this process, (which is hard for me already) was burdensome to her somehow. I felt like this is incredibly challenging for me and I need her amazing strength, love, and support right now, more than ever. I care so much about how she feels and this relationship but I want to be in control of this very personal process. She also thinks I am undergoing this journey in hopes of an idealized vision of reality without medication. While I do have hope for what life might be like drug-free, I try really hard to stay grounded and not have too many expectations. Maybe she's right in that regard. I don't know how to create more space for her to have feelings about how I'm feeling. It feels messy. I start dissociating during our conversations and losing time, losing information. She is very sharp and has an amazing memory so I simply cannot compete. We have barely talked in the past two days, we both feel really frustrated. We have both explicitly stated our needs and yet this still does not feel resolved. Neither of us can seem to relax into a willing state of mind until the other does. I feel so angry and I can't tell where it is coming from. Does anyone relate to this? I'm not sure how to move forward? Otto
  2. Hey all, I am mid-hold from my most recent reduction with Celexa. Over the past month I've tapered from 5 to 2.5mg, and though my psychiatrist swears anything below 10mg is sub-therapeutic and cannot be felt, I feel the difference immensely. I am incredibly irritated in a very physical way. In the past week I cannot stand being touched, I feel cold and hot, and I have chills and goosebumps for no reason. My RLS has come back with a vengeance and I'm not sleeping well. I would like to use a magnesium spray to hopefully calm down my nerves I have but I have heard it is contraindicated with Gabapentin. My legs are sore and my knees hurt from unintentionally hyperextending my legs over and over. I would just like to know what is happening to me physiologically because I think it would help me a lot mentally to just become familiar with where this is coming from. Also, if anyone has advice about RLS or overall agitation, I am all ears. Cheers
  3. Hi Everyone, I started using 20 mg/day of Celexa almost 20 years ago for severe PMS symptoms. I resisted using antidepressants for a long time, trying supplements, exercise and meditation first, but nothing helped. In desperation, I tried Prozac for a few months, but quit because of the side effects (dry mouth, sexual dysfunction, tiredness). Then I tried Zoloft and also stopped after a couple months. I couldn't stand how I felt. I felt itchy and tired all the time. Finally, I found out about Celexa (which was newly approved for use for depression in 1998). Celexa helped (I experienced fewer and less intense side effects), and I was a better Mom and wife because of it's role in stabilizing my mood swings. Now, 20 years later, I am still taking 20 mg/day of Celexa and I am wondering why? I tried weaning off of the Celexa during menopause (which was a mistake), and experienced severe withdrawal symptoms (depression, anxiety, mood swings, irritability, confusion). So, I quickly went back to religiously taking my Celexa every day. So here I am, trying to decide if it makes sense to discontinue the use of this medication. I have read so much about the challenges of discontinuing SSRIs, and I am afraid. My life is pretty stable right now. I feel calm, and steady, but wonder if my cognitive ability has been impacted. I have severe tinnitus (don't know if that is related to SSRI use). My memory is weak (don't know if that is related to aging - I'm 56). I have very little motivation (don't know if that is just post retirement slump). I'm about 15 pounds overweight (and I wonder if Celexa is contributing to that). So, I wonder what are the risks and benefits of weaning off this medication? And I wonder who am I without Celexa? I also worry about the long term effects of continuing to take Celexa for the rest of my life: I've read about the increased risks of diabetes, hip fractures, blood clots, intestinal bleeding, and dementia. Yikes! I'm just sitting here on the fence and could use some advice: to keep on taking Celexa indefinitely...or to take the leap and free myself from this medication. Please help!
  4. Hi guys, Here is a little about me: I’ve been on antidepressants most my life. I didn’t have a good childhood and I thought these pills were the godsend answers we all wanted. I thought antidepressants were equivalent to insulin to diabetics. I honestly felt the worst on my concoction of pills. I was on something like 600mg of Seroquel XR, Valium, and something else to “help” the Seroquel. I felt more suicidal. I was put into a psych hospital for a week and I met a doctor who told me that my problem is hypothyroidism. He said so many doctors will overlook this one and go straight to psych meds. I got my blood checked and it showed I had low T3 and T4 cells. Pretty much that I do have hypothyroidism. I wanted to thank him the next day, but I found out he was “let go”. I had to do mandatory therapy (well they said it was mandatory, I don’t know if that was a lie) and DBT and CPT was great. I really enjoyed it. Well after I graduated, my therapist said I was cleared of everything. I still followed up with my psychiatrist for meds. She was gone on maternity leave and a younger male psychiatrist filled in for her. Before she left, we were tapering my meds. Now I didn’t know antidepressants caused withdrawals. I thought it would be like birth control where if I stopped, things would adjust back to my normal self. Well I reduced Celexa from 60mg to 50mg, reduces Lamictal, got rid of Abilify and Prazosin. I got super sick around 4 days but I didn’t have a fever. I also felt much more strange. Everywhere in my body hurt from each hair follicle to a single cell. It was the strangest pain and honestly I was ready to die. I couldn’t think of what would get me sick. My husband and I ate the same food and nothing changed except my medication reduction. Could that be it? One google search and wow. What is this “SSRI withdrawal”? There was so much about the world of antidepressants. From money to politics to health to bribery to black mail to media, antidepressants are a huge commodity. I saw both the pros and cons, the light and the dark. I was angry. I was angry at myself, the (American) medical system, and having withdrawals while finding this out sucked. Sucked super bad. I didn’t know the chemical imbalance was marketing plan. I totally fell for it. Never in my life once have I ever gotten a test done to show what my imbalances are. If a test even exists. I went back for a follow up at the mental health clinic I was assigned to after the week hospital stay and saw the fill-in while my main psychiatrist was away on maternity leave. I asked him, “how come no doctor ever in my life, ever told me about the pros and cons of antidepressants? Why did they just feed it to me?” And he replied, “each doctor has their own ethics.” And I said, “so I’m going to be possibly stuck feeling sick from withdrawals the rest of my life?” And he replied, “You’re going to be stuck with depression for the rest of your life.” He said it in a tone where he was getting angry. He then commented how I’m probably going to need medication for the rest of my life. At this moment, I knew things were bad. I got myself into a huge mess. And no doctor was on my side. Thats when I started to google everything. I even came across this site and some others too. A lot actually. I started to taper on my own following guides. As a matter of fact, I hate to say this because pharmaceuticals is a touchy subject, but I have gotten better and throuough advice from people online rather than my local health professionals. People online have given me better advice than licensed doctors....I’ve single handily experienced incompetent doctors and now I feel ‘trained’ that I just cannot trust American doctors with my mental health anymore. I’m afraid anything I say they will use against me. That my withdrawals are my symptoms coming back or my withdrawals are helping “new” underlying mental problems appear. I remember when I was 19 or 20, a psychiatrist was diagnosing me and finding pills using some app on an iPad. No blood test or brain scan. No science. Not even using the DSM. Just a free iPad app anyone can download. Let me wrap this up. I honestly abused antidepressants for 5 years. I would stub my toe, get mad, make an appointment, get a new drug or increase dose or both. I literally thought antidepressants were magic. I felt the worst in those 5 years. I was so cloudy, depressed, a huge mess. I thought this was normal and it’s the “depression” as my doctors would call it. After the fiasco of finding out about withdrawals, I was more than ready to stop. I tapered too fast. Celexa was the most difficult. I started tapering Celexa in April 2017 and stopped my final dose on Dec 2017. Celexa has given me the worst withdrawals. I lost my job due to constantly feeling ill and hallucinating/dreaming. I can’t do basic functions such as math so finding a retail job isn’t doable right now. My speech isn’t the same and I have a more difficult time with vocabulary. My stomach will cramp and I will get nauseous. When I do, I hallucinate like I am having a psychedelic trip on a substance. I recently found out that me “dreaming” while I’m awake is called derealization. I gave myself an injury because I felt like i was floating and dreaming, which ended up costing me a trip to the ER. I had the “lol so what? ;p” mentality. Now I have permanent ugly scars that remind me of this everyday. I deal with mental struggles because I had a bad childhood. That’s a given and that’s life. But I felt that was an excuse to give me all these labels and load me up on pills. And an excuse on my part. I do believe my health now is me “reaping what I sowed” because I did go to the doctors like it was a candy store. Both doctors and myself are to blame. I was ignorant and naive and I followed the crowd and I am literally reaping what I sowed. Pharmaceuticals is a touchy subject and I just want to be good terms. I’ve been called out saying that I’m ignorant for labeling antidepressants as crap as it has helped some people. A gal I grew up with is becoming a nurse and asked people’s opinion on Big Pharma, mainly opiates. As a matter of fact, she didn’t know antidepressants were part of “Big Pharma”. So I left a comment (Facebook) about how she should look into antidepressants as well. Another girl I grew up with whom is also becoming a nurse told me it’s ignorant and wrong of me to say that as it helps her with her chemical imbalance. She then proceeded to say and that you can find depression with brainscans and what not. And then linked a bunch of articles. I decided not to argue becaue she’s learning to become a nurse. I feel that’s like me joining the NRA and my husband trying to tell me guns are bad. In other words, I was walking into a lost battle. With that, I was asked to write an introduction. I know antidepressants are touchy so I won’t argue with anyone whether they’re good or bad. Like DBT and CPT taught me, to each their own. I don’t mean to offend anyone with this as this is my personal story. Currently, I am on the road to recovery. Some days are okay and some days are not. Thank you for taking your time to read this.
  5. Hi all, This is my first post here and my first real attempt at tapering off of all psychiatric medications. A very brief background, I have been on 20+ medications since I was 12, ranging from antidepressants, mood stabilizers, benzodiazepines, anti-convulsants, anti-psychotics, and sleep drugs. I am 22 now and finally, (sober this time) investigating some of the core issues that caused me to self medicate-via doctor and drug dealer-and I'm ready to really sit with my emotions and feel them fully. Currently I am on Lithium-1050mg, Gabapentin-600mg, Celexa-5mg I have been reading as much as I can on comingoff.org and SA and would like to prepare myself and set myself up for success. From what I understand 10% taper is ideal. I am not in any hurry, I just want this to be as positive experience as possible so this is fine. I met with my psychiatrist today and she had some smaller dosages prescribed for me and is on board and on my team for which I am thankful. I am wondering if there are other things I can do smartly prepare. I read briefly about remineralization but am not sure what that entails. Any foods, supplements, behaviors that would ease me into this journey? Ideas? Thoughts? I start this process April 1st and will post updates. Thank you!
  6. I have two experiences of taking and stopping antidepressants. The first time was in 2003. I was in graduate school, we had just moved into a new house that needed lots of work, we had a 3 year old, and my best friend was given 5 months to a year to live. It was a horrible time in my life. I knew that I had to get through this time without completely shutting down. I went to my doctor and told her I needed anything that would help. She set me up for counseling twice a week and a prescription for Prozac 10 mg, increasing to 20 mg. The Prozac was a miracle for me. I took it for 1 year and had little issues. I did have some strange side effects like greater risk taking (spontaneously bought a new car without consulting my spouse). The car was the biggest thing. I had sexual side effects that are considered normal. When the worst of it was over I knew I didn't need it anymore. I told my MD and we made a tapering plan that I followed. There were some possible issues that I realize, looking back. More intense feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness. But it was mixed with a difficult time in life so I couldn't really see the possible symptoms. Fast forward 15 years. I hit another part of my life that I felt I could benefit from an antianxiety or antidepressant. After being married for 19 years and having three kids my wife was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II. She had been treated for depression for several years but the meds and antidepressants never seemed to be a good fit. So my life was consistently up and down for years. At this time though, I was experience some early menopause symptoms (perimenopause) and my own emotions were on a roller coaster. Being our family's stability anchor I knew that I needed help to get through this. I found myself yelling at my kids for very small issues then apologizing over and over. That was not typically me. Since I had a good experience with Prozac I talked to my MD about it. She agreed but prescribed me Celexa (citalopram) 10 mg with increasing to 20 mg over time. At first she told me to take it prior to my cycle 5 days before, but my cycles became so irregular that was not possible. I ended up taking it daily for 5 years. Then I did something really stupid. I was not taking it regularly (on 3 days off 4) over and over due to a very hectic travel schedule for work. After one of my week long work trips in Nov 2017 I discovered that I had not taken it in 10+ days and I decided that I didn't need it anymore....so I stopped, cold turkey. For about 4 weeks I was fine...then on a long flight home from another trip, I broke down. I started crying about all the issues in my life, my kids life, life in general. I am mostly a positive and strong person but I could only see the futility in things. The cycle of climbing a hill only for gravity to pull us down. The pointlessness of all our real efforts. I came home feeling dead inside. I was an emotional zombie. After a couple of days I decided to lay this all out to my wife. She was surprised but decided that I was exhausted emotionally and physically and needed a rest. She took over most of the responsibilities with the house and kids that I had. She let me rest. But rest did not make it better. She checks in often and ask me how my day was going, my text answers are something like, dead inside, vacant, empty, I miss myself, I feel nothing, I have no desire to do anything, I don't care about anything, etc.Outwardly though, I am tense, easily angered, overwhelmed, discontent, agitated, nervous, and obsessive about stupid stuff, etc. I have never suffered from depression and my life was better than it has ever been, but it often seemed like depression. That's when I started looking for answers. That's when I found SA. Everything started making sense. The pains I have, the insomnia, the depression, all of it. It's been 3 1/2 months and I don't think that taking them again and tapering down is going to be a better option for me. I've been going through the HELL OF IT and I don't want to do it again for any reason. I have to get through this. I have to get better. I have not gone back to my doctor to tell her this story. I don't know what it would matter but to prove how stupid I was. Afterall, she DID tell me that I would need to taper and I didn't. I justified it thinking inconsistency WAS tapering...it is NOT. Now what? Everyday I feel miserable. Every.day. But it's inconsistent. Sometimes it lifts for a while and doesn't come back as severe. I call that progress. I'm hanging on to that. I regret not tapering but I'm in too deep at this point and I will suffer it out as long as I am able. Having a BP wife has helped because REALLY understands. Thanks for the read. I'm so glad I found this community. I'm in here somewhere trapped in the neurochemical eclipse and you probably are too. Stay strong.
  7. Hey everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself and let you all in on my journey and discontinuation of antidepressants. I am 28 years old and just ended an 11 year relationship with AD's. There was so much shame I felt being on these drugs. I felt like I was this great person because of the pills I was taking and nothing more. I wouldn't dare tell a soul I was taking antidepressants for fear that they would then see the pill and not me. Make sense? I said goodbye to Sertraline in November 2017. After completing yoga teacher training and having this new perspective of myself and my life, I started to actually feel the chemicals that weren't meant to be in my body. I had tried tapering off of Sertraline 3 times prior to the last over the past few years. The previous tries I would make it about a month or two before surrendering back to the pills to make myself feel better if I started feeling sad or uneasy. This time was different. VERY different. This time I started with intense research. I wanted to discontinue the dosage but this time was for real; I would do my homework and get off of these things once and for all. And what I found first broke my heart, made me angry and then gave me hope. The anger is still present when I try to find a reason 'why' people are enslaved to these prescription drugs. The research I found led me to this site, and I continue to research the effects and harms that these medications actually do to people, unbeknownst to them. The cause of our sadness is residual, stagnant energy trapped in our bodies from a traumatic event or life experience that changed our perspective of what is. When we take these medications, we are never actually dealing with the source of our problems, rather than masking it over with a clouded perception of reality. I used to love my prescriptions. Even after I would attempt to quit, that love would return after I felt 'better' taking them again. I was prescribed my first antidepressant when I was 16. I was missing a lot of school because I slept in too late. I just loved my sleep. Eventually, I was sent to the PCP to see what could be done about this sleeping problem.. Well, her answer was Citalopram (Celexa). This was the beginning of a battle I never wanted to be involved with but here I am. And P.S. the sleeping issue was not resolved in any way thereafter. To keep it short, I will just give you a brief history of how my dance with prescription drugs evolved after that: 2006 Celexa (Citalopram) 40 mg & Adderall XR 75 mg (a lot of the times more because I was heavily addicted) 2007 Citalopram & Ritalin (don't remember mg) .. soon after Vyvanse (don't remember mg) and finally to Amphetamine Salts due to unpleasant side effects from the Ritalin & Vyvanse.. ** indicates time period where Amphetamine Salts were prescribed 2008 ** Citalopram 40 mg-> Effexor XR 75 mg after a psychiatric evaluation (which I now understand was due to the medications and the effect they had on me mentally ... psh) 2009** Effexor XR 75 mg - Paxil (Paroxetine) 30 mg due to the INSANELY high cost of Effexor without insurance I was forced to wean myself off and switch 2010** Paxil 30 mg-> Sertraline 50 mg due to weight gain and lethargy 2011-2013 Sertraline 50 mg -> Wellbutrin (Bupropion Hcl) 75 mg due to sexual side effects and wanting to feel alive again 2013-2017 Wellbutrin 75 mg -> Back to Zoloft (Sertraline) 75 mg because the anxious side effects of the Wellbutrin made me uneasy and Sertraline seemed to be the only AD that had the least side effects at the time 2017 Sertraline 75 mg -> slow taper to 50 MG for two weeks -> halving the dosage & following this pattern until there was nothing -> 5 HTP 50 mg & 1200 mg Fish Oil NOW = 1200 mg Fish Oil and becoming accustomed to an Ayurvedic diet along with daily yoga practice**** this is HUGE and one of the main reasons I have remained clean from AD's Now, almost two months clean from prescription drugs I can say that there is still lots of work to be done. When you go through your teenage years and early twenties on AD's, you need to relearn how to interact and react as there is no longer that pill keeping you numb. Everything becomes real and raw. There are still days that I have my emotions consume my entire being in a negative way and I am still working on this. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. As of right now, it seems as though I am taking off from where I left off at 16 years old. This means emotionally and re actively along with maturity and sexuality. As many of you can relate, I could go on with this topic and how it has effected my entire life for ever and ever. There will be more posts that follow in regards to these drugs and how we can help each other become clean and free once again as we were made to be. Love and blessings to you all <3 we CAN do this..we are all in this together! LB Anti-depressants controlling tools of your system Making life more tolerable, making life more tolerable. The Unthinking Majority - Serj Tankian
  8. BanjoAnnie

    After being on Celexa for the second time in my life, I have tapered and am now off a drug that I know made my life worse. I was diagnosed first with PPD, one year after the birth of my youngest. I went cold turkey off the drug at that time, mostly because of a non-supportive doctor and ignorance. I survived that for almost 15 years, and then many family events started happening - mother diagnosed with ALZ, children graduating and moving out, one moved back home, young adult rebellion after college, a marriage, loss of a longtime friendship...I was exhausted and over-taxed, not depressed! Tears at a doctor's office are all it takes for a diagnosis of depression, when really my tears were a cry for physical help! Last November, I decided to wean off Celexa, with the advice and help of my doctor. The dose was low - 10 mg, so she halved it. Two weeks later, I decided I could not do this and went back up to 10 mg. Two months later, after getting through Christmas, I decided January was the time. I wish I had found this forum earlier! I would have tapered more slowly; however, I did a 4 week taper, and jumped off last Monday. I've had some of what I think others are calling "brain zaps", my hips ache when I go to bed, insomnia, and have swam through a bit of jello, especially in my speech. However... I had brain fog, loud tinnitus, electrical shocks in my hips, numbness in my toes and fingers, and was always sleepy anyway! I figured why not get off this stuff - it wasn't working! I am currently looking for diet and supplements that have helped others totally recover, and I have total confidence that I will recover! I have been prayed over, and plan to continue on my spiritual journey, which I think is very important to recovery. Support. Prayer. Patience.
  9. I’m going to try and do this correctly but I’m going on almost no sleep in the past 5 months.. Two years ago I started having numerous new physical symptoms (night sweats, bloating, headaches,etc.) and felt very drugged. I started to wonder how many of the symptoms were related to the meds I was taking. I decided to start by tapering the low dose of Valium I’d been put on 4 years before to help with sleep. I don’t remember how I tapered. Probably too fast. After stopping completely I spent a month in withdrawal (and menopausal) hell. I did not sleep for a month. In desperation, I visited doc and was given a low dose of Xanax which did help. I tapered slowly off of that. While dealing with various symptoms, doc tried various meds, such as lyrica, Wellbutrin and topamax. I didn’t like any of them. I got off them fairly easily compared to what’s happening now. Lastly, I decided to get off the celexa I’d been placed on 10 years before. It was to “prevent” any depression after giving birth to a baby who was born still at 8 months preg. I felt pushed into it and trusted them.. 10 years later, (no one ever mentioned stopping it) I casually tapered 40mg in a few weeks... I suffered only headaches and dizziness while tapering and didn’t know any better. Doctor said it was fine. I felt better than I had in a very long time. Fibromyalgia symptoms went away, sweats all stopped, teeth grinding stopped. I started to feel alive, creative, finally some emotions. As soon as I stopped completely, insomnia hits. I still don’t know any better and think it will pass because I feel good. After about 2 months of insomnia, I visit doctor in desperation again. Put on Trazodone 100 mg. and given 30 Ambien. I feel Trazodone burying my new feelings but ignore it as I need sleep.. 2 months later, Trazodone doesn’t work for sleep anymore and I believe it may be causing a horrible restlessness in my whole body. Emotions are dead. No more Ambien, no more sleep. Deep waves, feelings of panic, dread.. no appetite, nausea, shaking arms.. can’t remember feeling good at all. I started last night tapering Trazodone as I think it made things much worse. Psychopharmacologist says drop 50% for a week or two, then stop. I was told it’s not addictive and is safe, no side effects... so wrong. I will try to taper slowly. Can’t wait to be off it. Probably not a good idea to stop faster? I wish I could have a good cry.. it’s not remotely possible. I feel incapacitated. Doctors and psychologist don’t believe celexa can cause this. Certainly, not Trazodone.. I dread bedtime.. I’m trying so hard to keep on top of this. I don’t want to upset my 3 kids who are still at home.. Someone please reach out to me. I feel very alone, although reading through your stories I know I’m not.. I hurt for all of you as much as I possibly can. 40mg very fast taper off celexa last summer. Put on 100mg Trazodone 2 months ago and attempting to taper off.
  10. hello everyone! i guess i should consider myself lucky that i stumbled across this place before attempting to taper off. i've been on medication for over 2 years now, although my current regimen of nortriptyline + low dose celexa has only been in place for around 12 weeks. what really concerns me is how low-functioning i am (with or without the meds) - i don't have the financial or social support, let alone the mental health capacity, to mess this up. it's probably gonna take a lot of preparation on my part before i start tapering. i had a panic attack that went on for hours when i came across this forum, so i have a long way to go in terms of psychological stability! i'm already dimly acquainted with the withdrawal syndrome. i abused ecstasy in my (even) younger days and the hangover effect from that is almost identical. pretty scary stuff. would i be correct in assuming celexa should be tapered before nortriptyline because it's more activating? i've spent days looking through this forum and the consensus seems to be to leave the more sedating drugs until later.
  11. I joined this forum last June before I began an unsuccessful taper from Celexa, however, this is my first post. I honestly had no idea until then how horrific untethering from these substances is, and how devastating it can be long term. What I really need is some good news. Is there any good news in the midst of this real-life horror story? Right now I feel completely alone. I haven't found a medical practitioner to forge a partnership for helping me discontinue successfully--or even reach the psych NP who prescribed my meds for a change when things went really wrong. So, there is no "discussing anything with a trusted healthcare practitioner". All I have is you all. So, I'm sort of pleading with you for guidance. I am still not sleeping well. I slept fine, for years on Celexa, then weaned off and threw everything out of balance. To be fair, the year prior to my discontinuation was incredibly stressful. I abruptly ended Trintellix this week (because I ran out and can't get anymore) and am taking approximately 10mg of Prozac (approximately because I'm splitting 20mg of powder roughly in half) as of today. The Prozac instantly quelled my WD symptoms from the Trintellix within the hour, and my plan is to either formulate a liquid suspension of this drug or find a doctor who will prescribe one. I have exhaustively researched how to overcome this problem. I'm an athlete, so I've stacked as many cards in my favor with diet, lifestyle and nutrition as well as I possibly can. But I can't seem to find a way through this, or make a plan that makes sense, and I'm scared I'll never be okay.
  12. Hi, this is my first post on here. First, I want to say thank you to everyone who is bold enough to post on here, look beyond western Medicince, and having the courage to fight this absolute nightmare of a battle. This forum has helped me tremendously. Now I want to shed some hope. Ive been on Celexa for 10 years at 20mg. It helped me through nursing school as I became depressed seeing suffering and dying people for the first time. What should have been a short stent with and AD and therapy turned into an10 year ordeal with at least one unsuccessful attempt to wean off. Being the nurse that I am, I attempted to take my tapering into my own hands and went down 5 mg a month. I was absolutely great during the whole tapering and had one really good week completely off of the Celexa then it all came crashing down week two after my taper. I experienced extreme panic attacks and doom, chest pain, palpitations, dizziness, feeling numb, derealization, crying spells, severe agitation, mood swings that you can’t just snap out of no matter how hard I try, fatigue, a really bad itchy rash, memory issues, sleep paralysis, and just feeling so uneasy in my skin like nothing could be comfortable or peaceful. It’s like the nervous system thinks you’re about to get on a plane that will crash only you’re safe and in your own home. I felt like I had had 20 cups of coffee at times. Here is my hope. After reading some stories on here and hearing about how some people are on this journey for years at a time, I became very discouraged. How could I live like this for even a minute longer? Which is how I feel during a wave. It often seems it will last forever but the waves do pass. I have experienced the waves and windows and try to soak up every minute of every window. I decided last night to reinstate at 5mg to help with the discontinuation bc at the time the wave I was in was just unbearable. I am glad I did it. I already notice a difference. I felt pretty good today and have hope that a slower taper from 5mg over a longer time will help. It was nice to be able to work today and not have panic and/dizziness and I didn’t want to snap at anyone. Thank goodness. I don’t want to be on Celexa. I wish it was something I could just move on from but I now know after my second attempt to taper, that this will be a longer process than I though and that in time I will get my life back. Discontinuation for me has been hard. I realized I am not Superman and reinstated. It can look like a set back (which I felt at first) but I truly believe it was the right choice for me with noticing a difference and feeling better overnight. This is my story and everyone is different. I know it all depends on how long you’ve been off. I reinstated 6 weeks after my last dose. I believe the sooner the better. I hope this helps someone on here. Praying for all of you. There truly is no pain or torture than we all have been so unfortunate to know. It will get better.
  13. I was on celebs for about 7 years 60mg. It stopped working and I was on 100mg pristine for a year. That also stopped working. The doctor weaned me off pristine and I have been on celexa for two weeks. It does not seem to be having an effect. I am wondering how long it will take to kick in generally. I am miserable.
  14. Hello, I’m new here and am excited I found this forum. I was prescribed Celexa when I was 24 years old (16 years ago) and living by myself for the first time in my life and had my first, real boyfriend. I was out of college and scared. My boyfriend had an alcohol and drug problem but my body was too sensitive to get addicted to either. Eventually, being in love and in a chaotic environment reaked havoc on my mind and body and I developed severe anxiety and insomnia. My doctor prescribed me Celexa and it helped me sleep immediately. This was the beginning of a never ending love/hate relationship with Celexa. It has held a power over me for years, particularly with respect to sleep. Various doctors have been prescribing me this drug for the last16 years. I have tried getting off at least 4 times and the longest I have lasted is 9 months, only to start over again like an addict getting her fix. Overall Celexa shuts off my emotions and contributes to my overall sluggishness but it allows me to sleep well. I don’t like being on it but am afraid to get off at the same time. I’m currently trying once again to taper. My husband has a similar struggle with Cymbalta. Both of us are new parents to an 11 month old girl and we’d like to once and for all be off these medications but we want to do it right. If it takes me a year to taper, so be it. Before i was 24, I never had anxiety issues and I often feel that my issue was circumstantial at that age and I didn’t have the right support system to talk to me about antidepressants (and perhaps the negative research about it wasn’t out there yet). My gynecologist was the one that initially prescribed me! And because I was young and of no real opinion on things, I chose to keep taking something because i was scared that I would go back to a terrible place of those few months before it was originally prescribed to me. i now know that my central nervous system is out of wack because of this. I found this website randomly and I’m hoping it will help guide me through this process of getting off this drug once and for all. happy to have found this forum!
  15. LSS, I have been on some form of antidepressant/anti-anxiety med for 20 years. I was in a massive car accident with severe head trauma back then, and have had inexplicable panic attacks since. Without meds, I tend to randomly pass out 4-5x/week from a classic hyperventilation/anxiety attack. Only difference is that mine tends to come out of nowhere, without any trigger. They are super hard and fast, so I don't even see it coming sometimes. That's resulted in an additional 6 diagnosed concussions... For the last 15 years, I have been on Effexor XR, 150mg (name brand only). For the last 2 years, they added Celexa (generic), 20mg. The Effexor is killing me... I can't sleep. No more than 4 hours/night, interrupted, in the last few weeks. I literally have to pee at least every hour if not more often. I have had night sweats for 8 years. And my lymph nodes in my neck are so incredibly large (roughly 2 golf balls in size), that I've had some surgically removed. (obv. not cancerous). So, I've contacted my doctor, asking to ween off using Prozac as a bridge based on what I've read. I'd be happy to quit the Celexa too, I don't get withdrawal symptoms much from the Celexa, nor does it seem to help much. However, instead of doing that, she increased Celexa to 30mg/day, and cut the Effexor in half to 75mg for 2 weeks.... continuing to cut in half every two weeks until complete. I really don't see Celexa proven to be a good bridge. Experiences? Thoughts?? The withdrawal is pure hell, as I'm sure anyone reading this knows. I will, of course, try this... I just worry so much about the withdrawal.
  16. I started citalopram about 10 years ago at 40 mg. I have spent the last four years tapering off. I was at 10 mg. for about 2 months, and then at 5 mg for about two weeks. I felt ok, so then I stopped completely. I was ok for about a week after my last dose, but then started having really, really bad irritability. I have no patience and have a lot of trouble sleeping. At night, when I'm trying to sleep, I feel very jittery. I'm assuming it took a week to get it all out of my body. So I've just read about reinstating it. I just made up the liquid solution. I thought maybe I'd start taking 3 mg each night. Wondering what everyone else thinks. Should I start back lower? If I knew this irritability would be short tem, I might try to wait it out, but it's been five days and I'm having a lot of difficulty. If I start back on 3 mg, what should my taper schedule be? How long should it take. I'm also taking 600 mg. gabpentin and low dose naltrexone. Not sure if that makes a difference.
  17. I've been on Celexa for 16 years, and have spent the last two years tapering off. I'm trying to go really slow and managed to get down to 20 mgs without withdrawals. When I went down to 15 mgs, the trouble started: vertigo, anxiety, irritability, depression, sleep disturbances. I'm taking natural supplements to help with the withdrawals (theanine and SamE), and they help a little. But I'm stuck at 15 and afraid to go down any further. I wish I could find a psychiatrist who specializes in getting patients off SSRI's. Mine doesn't seem to have a clue. I've been following the protocol in the book "The Antidepressant Solution." I'm getting scared I'll never get off this stuff.
  18. Kostas

    Hi, I am Kostas from Athens Greece, and I would like to post my story. After suffering a burn out in my demanded post at work, not been able to eat, sleep, exhausted and non functional, was prescribed 20 mg citalopram. Started 10 mg for 1 week, and then 20. Side effects few and tolerable for 3 weeks, and then dramatic improvement and completely functional in week 8. Got them for 9 months, June 1994-march 1995. Then 10 mg for a month 5 for 2 months and off. Start relapsing after 2 months, and reinstated August 1995. 10 mg 1 week and then 20, August 95- August 96 Then tapering 6 months and off Feb 97. Very well till October 99, then relapse and reinstated 20 mg January 2000. On the drug Jan 00- September 01, Tapering 6 months, and off from March 02. Another relapse on October 03,and another reinstatement 20 mg, from October 03- October 05 Then, very slow tapering for 7 years October 05- October 12. 10mg 2006, 5 2007,2.5 2008, 2 2009, 1 2010, 0.5 2011, 0.25 2012. Off the drug from Oct 2012 till today. WD symptoms although not thought so back then, Nov 2012 slight tinnitus, till today June 2013, frequent urination and nocturia, much improved now. 2014 muscle tightness, and tired. Not too bad, but deterioration during stress. This continues on and off till today but have adjusted. June 2015 palpitations and arythmia for one month, and gone by then. October 2016,pain in the legs and shawder for a 2 months. April 2017, slight insomnia, agitation, tiredness, pain in the muscles and weak legs, agrivaded all symptoms under stress. Waves and windows till beginning of August, and improving now. Decided to try not to reinstate, since I am relatively functional 70%, but not happy with the situation! Any advice welcome!
  19. Hi. First of all, god bless you for this forum. I've been reading stuff on it for almost 2 months now and getting a lot of strength from it. English is not my mother tong, so please bare with me and my typos, thanks I'm a 43 year old woman, single, unemployed for a year. I've been loosing my job as a freelance a year ago, i had here and there a few projects but nothing too long. A few months ago, I stopped taking celexa completely, after, i thought, having tapered gradually. Oh boy how wrong i was. 'Gradually' for me meant taking the drug alternatively (1 day with, 2-3 days without) for almost a year and maybe more, I can't even remember when was the time i took it every day. I think I took the celexa for almost 12 years, before that i had 2 years approximately on prozac and one year on paxil. so more or less 15 years with drugs. All this time I got them from a GP and not a psychiatrist. I might have saw a psychiatrist once for this matter, but it's been a long time. And now, it's been almost 3 months since my last celexa. When I tappered "my way", i wasn't even aware of the consequences, i wish i've read this forum then. I really thought it was slow enough. but then I started to take one celexa a week and then started to feel bad, headaches, pins and needles etc. and went urgently to a psychiatrist that told me that if i made the decision to stop, and now i'm only taking half a celexa twice a week, so i might as well stop completely as it doesn't help anymore. Her words. Basically she said that the problem was that i wasn't completely 100% with my decision to stop. So she said to throw them away once and for all. At that time it made a lot of sense, I thought i've found a great psychiatrist. And now, 3 months after the last one, only now i realize that the "tapper" was way too fast and that it's almost CT, as I did stop brutally after reducing the dose. Now i feel SO bad, i thought the 1st month was hell, and that it will improve with time, but now it's been 3 months and i feel exhausted, i have extremely dry eyes, joints pain, headaches (a bit), bad hair loss. I feel like a sad zombie in another world. And i'm so afraid that the way i stopped may have compromised my healing. I have obsessive thoughts all day long about why did i stop, why now, and why this way and what the heck was i thinking to not be aware of the consequences? I'm starting therapy this week, i was on therapy for years and years before, and now i feel like it's time for support. I'm also taking care of myself with better eating, acupuncture and want to start exercising. But i'm afraid, i'm so afraid that this mess i'm in will go on and on, i don't know how long it will take and i need to work but it's very very difficult for me now. I'm thinking about reinstating (but isn't it too late now?) or going on very low dose of prozac to taper again very slowly, I don't know anymore. I'm just so afraid and confused. If i reinstate celexa, at what dose should i do it? 5 mg? Im gonna see a psychiatrist soon, another one, not the one i've seen before and that told me to just throw the drugs in the basket. I'm taking omega 3 and started with mag citrate yesterday. Thanks for reading, thanks for being here.
  20. Hello, I'm new here but have come across this forum via looking for info on the internet. I was on Lexapro for 6 months and after having side effects..slowed heartbeat, etc I decided in March of 2017 to go off of it. Unfortunately I did not taper properly..I went from 10 mg to 1/2 pill for a week and then for a few days I went down to a quarter of a pill. I should have sought help from the doctor but she was very pro medication and I felt like she would continue to push this for my GAD..I was on meds years ago but have been able to manage without anything for the last 7 years with exercise and hobbies, etc. I was dizzy and had stomach upset when I first went off but that went away.. then by about June I started having a bit of shaking of my hands here and there and increased anxiety. The nerves in my wrists and feet felt like they were crawling..irritated. By July I was waking up shaking in bed..almost like a vibration and what felt like tremors on and off in my arms. Thumbs quivering here and there when holding things..it does seem like it happens when I'm anxious. I have body parts that jerk as I'm trying to fall asleep and keep me awake. I then had terrible insomnia. Although I will say that has improved and I'm able to get sleep now. Sweating has gotten better. Twitching is on and off. I have been to the doctor numerous times who says it's anxiety. My lips even feel like they're vibrating also. No one can really see me shaking but I can feel it. By the end of July I tried going on Cymbalta which gave me a terrible reaction after only 2 days and I had to come off..head feeling very hot..hearing pulse in ears..sweating and completely out of it...they told me to stop taking that and the next day I could take Celexa ... I was even starting to have some slight head jerking here and there and a few weird blinks here and there too..lots of twitching.. so after 3 days I decided this was too risky to continue and called the doctor who told me to go down to 1/2 pill for a week and then stop..I even took a couple of quarter doses on top of that to make sure. I thought maybe I started to feel better as it got out of my system..even my nose felt plugged and my ears until it totally cleared. I have not taken anything since the beginning of August. I'm wondering if now I have a whole new set of withdrawals even though between the cymbalta and celexa I was only taking them for about 10 days. I recently went to a neurologist who did a thorough exam on me and could see nothing wrong. He did not order any tests. He said it was my anxiety acting up. He did say I might have some Ulnar Nerve issues since my last two fingers my hand were tingling. Any little emotion seems to set off the body type tremors/vibrations I'm feeling. Even if I'm happy or at a ballgame and get excited about something. Caffeine now really sets them offf. I am nearing menopause at 45 which is young but I am just about there according to my levels. I am seeing a physiatrist to double check about my spine as I have had issues there.. a fusion at c-6-7. I wake up extremely shaky..even when I don't feel anxious. I'm wondering if my nervous system is totally sensitized to everything. I have no idea what to do at this point since the neurologist says that he feels I don't tolerate meds very well and advised against it. I keep feeling like I have MS or Parkinsons but I have read so many similar stories from others who have come off of ssri's.. I didn't quite quit cold turkey but tapered too fast. I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me. I'm so desperate..I'm 5 months off of the Lexapro and it's been almost 4 weeks since my 2nd try at meds..wondering if I should have went back on the Lexapro instead of trying something different..at this point I'm afraid of Tardive Dyskinesia or something similar because of my reaction when I tried to go back on meds. I feel it would be to late to try and reinstate at this point also from what I've read. My fingers twitch here and there etc..it feels like my nerves are very irritated. Sorry for the novel. I would so appreciate any help. I am a mom of 3 girls and although the docs keep saying it's anxiety..I have never had this bad of anxiety.
  21. Mole25

    Hi All, I am new here and have been reading your experiences with the tapering of Celexa/Citralopram. I seem to be in a bad phase again at 1,5mg. Six hours of neck pain with muscular spasms. One of you guys wrote you took Epilim - or has anybody a tip on supplements which make you calmer and reduce neuro/muscular spasms. Its driving me nuts. All the best Mole
  22. Hi all, I would like to introduce myself to the community. I am Enrico from Italy. You will forgive me for my english as I am not a mother tongue. A week ago I've read an article (link is here for the sack of clatiy: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4197460/Could-antidepressants-damage-brain.html), so I decided that now it's time to try to get off of this ****. My story will look like similat to many others in this community, but I will sum up as a good introduction: - in 2009 I had my first panic attack. Before of this I visited practically all medical specialists to undertsand what was going on (heart specialists, urologists, gastroenterologist, etc.). I was healthy, not wrong with my body, but anxiety was growing up and one day suddenly a bomb: a panic attack. I fall down into depression for several months. I abandoned my studies... I felt like my life was going to be ruined for ever. I decided to go to psychiatric specialist since I was avoiding him with difficulties to admit I had mental problems. I prescribed me Celexa (Citalopram) till 80 mg die. I came back to my studies. I got a degree in economics cum laude. I was fine, but somehow I recognized my brain was no so brilliant an lucid as before. - in 2011 I got my first job. I was happy so I decided to quit Celexa. I lasted one year, I was fine. My delayed eiaculation disappeared, but I dind't recognize that my cognitive problems were there. i didn't really handle with them because of Celexa. In 2012, winter, I fall to another depression period. I started to take celexa again. - From 2012 to 2015 I took 80 mg of Celexa each day. I was fine. I changed job, my career was growing up both with my salary. Now I had enough money to start a cognitive behavhiour therapy. - 2016. Therapy taugh me a lot. How to manage and recognize my feelings. I was enough strong now to start my tapering process. - from 2016 to yesterday I dropped off Celexa from 80 mg to 32 mg. Anxiety started to grow up, bu I made many changes in my life so I was finally able to manage it. Unfortunately delayed eiaculation problems persisted. - Today. I dropped off to 20 mg. I subscribed myself to this community. I will continue CBT therapies and I will look for a psychiatric to taper celexa from 20 mg to 0. Ony my fears are I damaged my brain forever and I will never heal it. E.
  23. Hi everyone, I have been on Citalopram for 9 years. I haven't needed it for a good 4 so decided to see my GP who advised alternating 20mg and 10mg every other day. Multiple GP's have totally underestimated withdrawal challenges. I started alternating the week before last and felt ok, probably over confidently, i decided to drop to 10mg every day 5 days ago. I have flu like symptoms, spaced out and headaches and insomnia. I'm now not sure what to do? Should i keep going as i have got this far or will ot get worse so should i take a 20mg and how often etc? I'm getting on a flight today and need to feel in control of my symptoms a bit more. Any advice would be deeply appreciated, please.
  24. Hello everyone! I'm a 23 year old male from Finland My story pretty much goes like this. Got really depressed when I was around 17-18, which led me to see a doctor. They made me see a doctor and I scored really high points on their "depression test". At around 18 years old I was quite suicidal. I was almost instantly put on 20 mg of citalopram and with 3-4 months I was doing a lot better. Fast forward 5 years and I have eaten the same medication for around 4 years now (had some breaks when I tried to quit). I think I ate 20 mg for around 2.5 years and 10mg for around 1.5 years. Troughout these years my depression has become a better, however I've had periods in my life where it got quite bad. Right now I'm studying at a business school and around 8 months ago I really decided that it's the right time to get off the meds. I quit my 10mg citalopram cold turkey, which in hindsight wasn't a good idea and I don't reccomend it to anyone. I got really bored of living in a somewhat medicated state of mind and really just wanted to feel like a normal human being. During these 8 months of withdrawal the first 2 months were filled with the basic withdrawal symptoms that almost everyone has. Month 2-5 was a time period where I felt a lot of anxiety and since around month 5-6 to now I've been in a state where I find it hard to get enjoyment out of life. I think it's called anhedonia or something. And also my emotions haven't come back and I feel a little bit weird still. It's also worth pointing out that both of my previous relationships have ended, while I was in wd, which I completely understand now. So I just pretty much briefly explained my situation atm and I've been thinking of doing this for weeks now. The reason is that after getting over my darkest depression I've been left with a feeling of wanting to help other people going trough the same thing. I created this account in order to show everyone else my progess, what I'm doing, to be able to give advice and to motivate others. Right now I'm in a quite sh*tty situation, where my relationship of 1.5 years is going quite ****, I don't feel that much emotions and I feel a little bit depressed sometimes. I will show you how to get trough this!
  25. Moderator note: Link to PInballWizard's benzo thread I have been on Celexa 20 mg/day for ten years. I have hone cold turkey several times with disastrous results. I have also been on Lamotrigine 100 mg/2x daily for three years and 100 mg/day for three years before that. I take Valium as needed and have decided to stop taking it since I haven't taken it in several weeks. I have decided to stop taking these drugs. I am working with my psychiatrist and want other people's experiences with withdrawals. I know it will take time, and I am not in a hurry. Thank you in advance.
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